Original subtitles

[NARRATOR] Last time on Dragon Ball Z,

the fighters began to gather for the start of Cell's tournament.

And who better to arrive first

but World Famous Champion-Of-Show, Mr. Satan!

And he was quick to announce his plans!

Cell was not amused.

[ANNOUNCER laughs]

[ANNOUNCER] Hey, Cell, get a load of this one!

[NARRATOR] While Mr. Satan and his announcer sidekick

continued their moronic taunts, Vegeta appeared at ringside.

And judging from his cold expression,

he was determined to make up for his last defeat.

[NARRATOR] Next to land was the newly rebuilt Android 16.

And the others were soon to follow.

Flying in close formation,

It was an impressive entrance that had even Cell reacting

as he saw for the first time

all the competition he would be up against.

[NARRATOR] And as far as Cell was concerned,

only one question remained:

who would fight him first?

Goku seemed like a shoe-in,

but the hard-headed Mr. Satan was quick to demonstrate

that he would start things off.

Goku and his friends were baffled,

but a choice must quickly be made...

Because, as Cell has made it clear...

[CELL] It's time!

[NARRATOR] The fight begins today!

Who will be the first to challenge?

You're looking at him, let's get it on!

There's no use in trying to stop him, Goku. He just won't listen.

I've gotta try!

Listen, Mr. Satan, if you fight Cell,

you're going to get killed!

[MR. SATAN sighs, ANNOUNCER chuckles]

Okay, Lionel, get a close-up of the guy with the big hair.

[LIONEL] Right!

[ANNOUNCER] Are we on? Good...

Just moments ago this long-haired guy

had the audacity to tell the people's hero, Hercule Satan,

to back down from the tournament!

Imagine, telling the Martial Arts Champion of the World

he was going to be beaten!

Having followed Mr. Satan's amazing career over the years,

I have one question to ask this know-it-all brat...

Who do you think you are?!

Sir, that blonde guy's quite the dummy, wouldn't you say?

I know him.

Or someone who looked... like him.

Many years ago, there was a young lad who saved the Earth

from the Evil King Piccolo.

I've never forgotten the innocent look

on that boy's face.

Hmm...

[KING FURRY] But his eyes, his eyes were different,

and so was the color of his hair.

Oh, maybe I'm just getting old

and my memory isn't what it used to be.

And yet, somehow I know it must be him.

Ahh, look at the green one.

I'm sure he looks just like King Piccolo!

If that doofus wants to fight Cell first, then let him!

If he packs it in we can just revive him

with the Dragon Balls.

Well, there seems to be no other choice...

[ANNOUNCER] They've finally decided not to interfere!

And for those of you watching this unfold,

you've got to be ecstatic!

It's time for our champ!

You're gonna LOVE this!

[ANNOUNCER] So let's set the scene!

The first up will be Mr. Satan, who, of course, will win,

and then the Earth will be saved from total destruction!

[WOMAN] Hold on, everybody!

It's time to get happy!

[ANNOUNCER] Oh, could it be?

[WOMAN] That's right! The fabulous duo is here!

One's got strength, one's got grace,

and EVERYBODY'S got the love!

Love? For what?

[WOMAN giggles]

It looks like we have new challengers to take on Cell!

But who are they and where are they from?

Must be National Goofball Day!

[MAN A] We are the students of Maestro Satan!

Yes...

Gaze upon me. I am Caroni.

[CARONI hums seductively]

[grunting]

[PIROZHKI] And I am the stupendous power-man Pirozhki!

Could these possibly be

the often talked-about Satan's apprentices?

[WOMAN] That's right, my friend!

These two are the senior disciples of Mr. Satan's

World-Renowned Martial Arts Dojo!

So let's pave the way for our raw man of muscle, Pirozhki.

And our dashing speedster Caroni!

That's great! And who are you?

I am their spectacular manager, Miss Piiza!

Mwah!

Maestro, please let us take care of him.

There's no point in your fighting this... sissy.

[PIROZHKI grunts]

[PIROZHKI] I will crush him up!

Hmm, you're right...

It could be a little embarrassing for me

to take on such an amateur as Cell!

He's all yours!

[ANNOUNCER] Whoaah Nellie!

You heard it right here, folks! We have some new challengers!

And this dynamic duo will replace their mentor

in round one. What a turn of events!

Ladies and gentlemen, this is great news!

With the help of Mr. Satan's devoted students,

how can we fail?!

We can't lose!

I've seen those two in a magazine!

From what I understand,

as a tag team, they've never lost a match

in their whole career!

This is awesome!

[thinking] A pair of fools!

I'd say... they're toast.

[ANNOUNCER] And now, let the Tournament begin!

Introducing Cell's first challenger,

in the white spandex jump suit, the lovely... Caroni!

As this is the first chance we've had to fight or what not,

I'll be gentle.

[CARONI moans]

[CARONI chuckles]

Those are for you. A bouquet for your funeral.

Man, he's good!

And I'll bet you this won't go more than one round!

For the home viewers,

Caroni's special skill is being able to

eradicate anything in the air

with his fabulous speed and agility!

Thank you, Piiza.

Well, there you have it, folks!

Now let's see him in action!

He's giving me... a headache.

[thinking] Hmm, I wonder how many women

are watching me right now?

[ANNOUNCER] The tension is beginning to mount

as Caroni warms up for the first round of the Cell Games.

The rules are simple:

You lose if you fall from the ring, give up,

or [gulp] if you die.

Are you nervous?

Don't worry, it will only hurt for a moment.

Beautiful, flying, rose!

♪ Attack! ♪

Wow! Would you look at that?!

That's the greatest move in Caroni's repertoire!

Just wait 'til you all see how it ends!

Let's finish this.

[CARONI yells]

Ooooh! That's some attack!

[CARONI screaming]

You, uh, think he's coming down?

He's in much better shape than I thought!

Hmm? What's that noise?

[CARONI screams]

[ANNOUNCER & PIIZA scream]

Huh?!

[CARONI groans weakly]

Well, Piiza, you're right!

That WAS a big ending!

Yeah, too bad he couldn't land INSIDE the ring!

Huh?

In my Fighting Dojo,

I always considered Caroni to be the son I never had...

But he never quite measured up to his father.

[PIIZA giggles]

You're the best!

I agree!

[CARONI sobs]

[CROWD murmurs]

[ANNOUNCER] Caroni, the first challenger in the Cell Games,

has lost by falling out of the ring!

How terrible!

[PIROZHKI grunts]

[PIROZHKI] Now it is my turn!

[PIROZHKI yells]

Isn't he something?

Pirozhki has the strength of twenty elephants,

and he absolutely loves to crush things!

I'd say he came to the right place!

[PIROZHKI growls]

[grunting, creaking]

[ANNOUNCER] Look at his brute strength!

I've never seen anything like that!

It looks like Cell's met his match!

Get ready for round two!

There's no way Pirozhki will mess things up like Caroni did.

I feel sorry for Cell.

[PIROZHKI yells]

[PIROZHKI yells]

Yes!

It seems Pirozhki can smell a victory!

And he's doing his special attack,

called the "Megaton Bull Crusher!"

And no one has ever survived it before!

[PIROZHKI yelling]

Huh?!

[PIROZHKI grunts]

[ANNOUNCER] What's going on?!

It appears Pirozhki's feet weigh fifty tons each!

[PIROZHKI grunting]

[grunting continues]

I give up!

[ANNOUNCER] Oh, great goodness!

[PIROZHKI whimpers]

[PIIZA gasps]

So how are we supposed to explain this one?

Mr. Satan?

Another trick!

[BOTH] Huh?

You don't see the forest for the trees!

It's obvious to me that he's somehow rigged the ring.

Case in point!

Maybe Cell rubbed himself down with jalepeno peppers,

which Pirozhki is allergic to!

Or maybe he planted magnets underneath the ring!

But I am gonna find out what sort of tricks he's up to!

Yes, I see, so it was Cell's dirty tricks that beat them!

And I think Mr. Satan's got a few tricks

of his own up his sleeve!

How thick can they really be?

Cell's energy flicked them away, not some stupid trick!

It's like talking to a wall!

[ANNOUNCER] This is it, folks!

Mr. Satan has had enough!

He's stepping into the ring

and is about to finish Cell off himself.

He's taking off his cape,

and he's holding up his champion fighting belt!

Now it looks like the real battle's about to begin!

In the next few minutes,

the fate of the entire Earth will be decided between Cell,

and the undisputed Martial Arts Champion of the World!

And I'm not too worried because Mr. Satan promised

to give Cell a hand through the stomach!

[ANNOUNCER] What's this?

Mr. Satan is reaching into his robe and pulling something out!

It looks like a... a capsule!

[ANNOUNCER] Look! A travel bag!

What will those clever folks at Capsule Corporation

think of next?

Well, here we go, everyone...

Mr. Satan is unzipping the bag and reaching in.

A-ha!

They look like ceramic tiles!

The champ is now carefully piling up the tiles.

[KRILLIN sighs]

[KRILLIN] That guy's a real moron.

This guys... an idiot.

[ANNOUNCER] He's now making a stack fifteen tiles high!

[MR. SATAN yells]

[lauging]

You don't suppose he's going to break all fifteen tiles

at once, do you?!

[MR. SATAN chuckles]

Oohhhmmm...

[ANNOUNCER] He's now gone into a trance-like state...

I believe he is focusing his energy for something incredible!

Let's see what happens...

[MR. SATAN] Oohhhmmm...

Mmmmm...

Oohhhmmm...

[MR. SATAN growls]

[yelling]

[ANNOUNCER] Oh no! One tile is left!

But-But what a mind-blowing power!

Fourteen tiles all at once!

I'm sure any other man would struggle with two or three!

Incredible!

Phew!

[MR. SATAN yells]

[CROWD cheers]

[yelling continues]

[thinking] His ignorance is painful.

Cell! You see these pieces of busted tile on the ground?!

[MR. SATAN chuckles]

Well, that's... what I'm gonna do...

to your face!

[CROWD cheers]

[chanting] Mr. Satan! Mr. Satan!

[chanting & cheering continues]

[ANNOUNCER sobs]

There's no question!

Hercule Satan is the undisputed

Martial Arts Champion of the World!

[thinking] Yeah, I am that good!

I'm just glad I remembered to set the VCR at home

to record this special moment!

[ANNOUNCER] Oh, it looks like Cell is getting worried!

But, then again, who wouldn't

after seeing such an amazing display of power?!

This is getting good!

It's payback time, folks!

Cell's made his ring and now he's got to sleep in it!

Let's go!

It looks like our hero is ready to fight!

It's hard to believe that Mr. Satan's iron hands

are finally going to have their revenge on Cell

for what he's done to the people of Earth!

In mere moments it will all be over

so don't you dare blink an eye!

[CROWD cheers]

[ANNOUNCER] It's all up to you, Mr. Satan!

We're counting on you!

[MR. SATAN yells]

[ANNOUNCER] Nice move!

I can't believe it!

It looked like the champ went straight for

his tried and true patented "Dynamite Kick!"

[MR. SATAN growls]

[MR. SATAN yells]

[ANNOUNCER] Mr. Satan is absolutely amazing!

The man never rests!

He just keeps on attacking!

Look at his speed!

His agility!

It's a veritable ballet of punches!

He's too fast for Cell to even fight back!

This is amazing!

[MR. SATAN laughs]

Now for my finish!

[MR. SATAN screams]

Uhhh...

[KRILLIN chuckles]

To be honest, Gohan,

I was cheering for Cell to win that little scrap.

[MR. SATAN groans]

[PICCOLO] Hmph. Look, he survived...

I guess Cell didn't want to waste any energy

on that weakling.

He... He landed outside the ring...

That means... our hero... has lost the battle...

So... let's get the tournament underway.

Who will be first? Will it be Goku to start things off?

Let's do it!

[NARRATOR] After all the talk, all the training,

all the idle threats, the hour has finally arrived.

It's Goku versus Cell next time.