Original subtitles

Time to get up.

Come on. You have 10 minutes. Come on. Let's go.

I'm not gonna pack for you. You gotta pack.

I'm not going.

Alice, come on.

I am serious.

She's gonna be here and we have to go.

Rachel!

Alice.

If you don't get up, I'm gonna have Jen come up here.

Rachel! You okay? Rachel! Jesus Christ!

Ow!

She's gonna be... pick those up.

She's gonna be here in two minutes.

Alice, we don't have time to eat. She's gonna be here any second.

We don't have time to fucking eat!

Jesus Christ, just... Okay, I'm gonna go downstairs and you're gonna meet me down

there in two minutes.

I'm gonna go downstairs and you're gonna meet me down there in two minutes.

Throw that pit out Alice throw the fucking pit out and come downstairs

We should go to the SPCA right now and get a puppy.

And then we could bring it back when we're done, because what fun is a

camping trip without a puppy?

I love you.

I forgot my bag, so I'm going to be right back. What?

I can't believe you're doing this to me.

Are you getting ready to come?

No, I'm not going.

What are you doing? You woke me up, so now I'm getting dressed.

For what?

The day.

Where's your bathing suit?

Where's your bathing suit?

Here, just use my bag. I'm not packing.

Come on.

You gotta go. She's downstairs.

Don't fucking grab my bag!

This is fucking bullshit.

I don't know why it takes so long to get a bag, bitches.

Hey!

John I asked you to stay in the car. I know I got bored If you just go back

down, I'll be done. I'm not gonna go back down. Hey, what's up? I haven't

seen you forever It's came up. What's wrong with you?

Okay, well

Probably know how this isn't going

on the trip.

Why are you? Why are you coming?

Yeah, why are you coming, Alice?

What's going on? I just have some stuff to do.

Yeah, you guys are gonna have a really good time though, so.

It's really good.

What are you doing this weekend?

Just joining more ugly shoes clubs.

That's very funny.

So you guys talk about it, I'll be right back.

So, why aren't you coming again?

It's just bad timing, Jen. I just have a lot of things to do. What bad timing?

Just stuff, man. Like, what stuff? What stuff are you doing?

Where are you going right now?

Just confused about what your busy schedule is, that's all.

I don't know, Jen.

Well, it looks like you don't know lots of things.

Hey! Well, Jen, you know what? It's been real, and I hope you guys have a really

good time.

What the fuck is going on in here? Nothing. She just fucking kicked me.

I didn't kick her.

Get her out of my house.

I put my foot on her.

I was just trying to stop her from walking by.

Where's your other shoe? It's over there. I can't reach it.

Alice!

Did she tell you why she wasn't coming?

No.

It's retarded. Do you have a book?

Well, can you not?

Okay, you gotta put that away.

Why? Also, this is my book, so.

I know, I'm not gonna burn your book.

Okay, you just gotta put that away, though. You can't do that in here. Why?

Jen, you can't do it in here.

I don't have to give you a reason, you just can't do it. I like Alice.

I do.

Jen, put it away.

Fine.

She's awful. It's okay. You can laugh. No.

I just can't do it. Just go in the car.

Just come with me right now.

Jen, go in the car. If you talk to her anymore, your face is going to explode

because she's so weird. You go to the car, and I'll meet you there.

Fine.

You better bring different shoes, okay?

It's the only shoes I have to go with.

What? Jen, go in the car!

I'm gonna buy you new shoes, this is- I don't want new shoes, just go in the

car! Don't yell at me, I'm not- I'm not in the mood for this, go in the fucking

car! Stop it, stop it, stop it, you're being so weird. We just haven't seen

each other for a long time, stop.

Jen, Jen.

Why are you yelling at me? It's so weird. You should go yell at her. Jen,

if you get in the car, I'll come and I'll be in a different mood, I swear to

God. Let me go, let me go!

I'll let you go when you say that you're a funny face and that you like me more

than her.

Just say it once. Just say it once.

I'm a funny face. Let me go. Okay.

Alright, I'll see you in the car.

Chick is fucked up.

Just go and have a good time and...

When I come back to this apartment, I don't want you to fucking be here.

I'm fucking serious.

Jen.

Jen. Jen, stop.

Jen, come on.

Ben, just act like a person.

I am. Give me that.

Can you juggle?

Ben, people don't work here.

There's people here.

They don't care.

You think they care about their grocery store?

This whole grocery shopping could be five minutes long.

Can we just, can we, can we focus? Well, if you don't want to be fun about it.

Grocery shopping's not fun. Let's just focus. What do we need?

Um, well.

beans, hot dogs, a spatula, pineapple slices, prunes,

eggnog, strawberry mix.

i don't think i really want to hike why not hiking's just walking

you're not a cripple

so tell me about

tell me tell me tell me stuff what i don't know i i don't really

you keep talking about how we have to catch up but i don't really have

anything to catch up i don't have anything to tell you Yeah, I mean, I

don't know.

You talk on the phone. It's not like I haven't talked to you in a year. I know,

but I don't, I haven't seen you in the face. Well, I look the same.

I cut my hair a little bit.

Why are you being such a pill?

Just like... I'm not, I'm just... No, I just, I feel like, you know, like we

have, we have time.

Do you want to sing?

No, sing what?

Sing anything.

Would you sing songs to your second grade class?

We don't really sing songs. It's a gifted class.

Gifted kids don't sing.

I was a gifted student.

Gifted and talented education.

So was I.

We didn't.

ask me a question.

How about that?

Ask me a question about my life. Ask me. Do you have any friends?

Yes.

Who? Many. I live with many friends of mine. Who do you live with? Now it's

gotten accusatory again. Just ask me a regular question.

See, that's what's important because I don't really care.

If it was something important, you would have told me. If these friends were

really important to you, I would know about them already. I wouldn't have to

ask about them.

So that means it has nothing to do with me.

I'm sorry. No, I'm being aggressive.

I don't mean to do that.

You're being really weird.

No,

come on. It's funny.

Here, okay, I'm stirring it this way. Stop, please.

Come on, it's funny.

Can we go to Sbarro?

Get whatever you want. I'm getting this.

Hey, look.

There's people behind you.

Oh, hold on.

I'm going to... Can you reach in... Can you reach in the back and get the...

There's like a... If you reach in, there's a now gene.

Which part? It's the main part. Can you reach it in and get it?

What are you looking for?

There's like a big now, Jane.

A what?

I'm not, just take it off and look at it. No, no.

Thank you.

Oh, thanks.

No,

now you look suspicious already. I'm not doing this. I just want ice. I'm really

not doing this.

That's fucking disgusting.

Let's just go.

I

think

these ropes are here because we're not supposed to go through here.

I don't think so.

It's our own section.

Jesus fucking Christ.

You have to be kidding me.

Did you take that from the display that they have?

What? I don't think that's my favorite. I don't think it's the display. I think

it's for the tape.

No, it's for little kids to take. Put it on.

Jesus Christ.

No, now it's you taking it off. Yeah, you got a picture of me taking it off.

That's great. No, you got to put it on and leave it on and make it smile.

Make a smile at the camera.

I got one.

That's great.

Is that the kind of art they do at a gallery that you're working at?

People with Burger King hats? No, they do lots of different kinds of shit.

Are you working there now?

Yeah. Like, you have to be there at a certain time and they give you a

paycheck? No, it's not like... And you have to pay income tax?

Do you work there? Yes.

Or do you just hang out there? No, I don't just hang out there.

What do you do?

I help them set up the shows.

What is that called?

Curating. You're a curator?

Do I have to go to school for that?

No, not.

You're a curator. So when people ask me what my friend Jen does, I can say she's

a curator.

You could say she's awesome.

You're not a curator.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

With your sunglasses.

I'll leave you money in case you want to buy some more fucking meat.

Thanks, I might.

Alice, I don't know what you're doing that you can't answer your phone, but I

just want to let you know that I really don't appreciate what you're doing this

morning. It was really fucking immature, juvenile, and really rude.

And also, I'm just embarrassed.

So have fun with whatever you're fucking doing this weekend.

That was a really long bathroom trip.

It's a lot of travelers.

Is this the actual campsite?

What is this? I don't know. Yeah, I think so.

So we drove two hours to camp in a parking lot?

It's going to be awesome. Oh, look at the nice view of the trailer park. We're

surrounded by... We're in a trailer park sandwich.

That's great.

It's really... Whatever. Let's just stop and just go here. We're in somebody's

backyard!

I'm getting tense.

Why?

You've made me very tense.

What did I do?

Why don't you leave Mom alone in the car for a little bit?

Are you saying that you're the mom and I'm the kid?

Just get out of the car. That doesn't make any sense. Seriously.

Go run in circles and do cartwheels or something.

Why don't you get out and run around in circles?

Because I'm perfectly chilled out and fine.

Hey, if you're chilled out, you're yelling at me. I'm not yelling at you.

This is the first time I've told you to fucking shape up. Just get out of the

car.

Okay, you know what?

I'm going to get out of the car. I don't have an attitude.

So what do we do?

Get the other side.

I'm going to put this out.

Yeah. Sweet.

Okay.

Yes. Yes.

Yes. High five.

Two high fives. The other hand.

Put the poles down. I don't even care.

Just put them down.

That's right, girl. Up here.

That's right. We're making a tent by the river.

All right.

Oh, Jesus.

Oh, right. Here. Get the other side.

Now put this down.

Now, I think you hook these in.

Okay, spread the tent out like in a triangle. There's instructions in here.

Warning. We advise you to assemble the tent once before going camping to become

familiar with the assembly of the tent.

Well... Did you do that? We're past that point.

They warned you about that.

Yeah. Look, these snap in perfectly.

This must be right.

Underside of the tent fly is applied to the seams.

Just... I don't know what this is.

Yes! Yes!

Yes! It is taking a tent-like form.

Right.

See this little hook?

Doesn't this have to go into the dirt?

There's another one.

This doesn't seem right.

Why won't you just let me use the instructions?

It's fun making a tent.

This is really fun.

See?

Stake down the two front tent corners by inserting a stake at...

A 45 degree angle using a hammer or mallet. Do you have a mallet?

Okay.

I don't understand these directions at all.

Why don't you just sit down and I'll do this and then we can

have fun later.

You don't want me to help you? No, I got it.

Well, that doesn't really make sense.

Why don't you want me to help you?

No, no, no.

picture on the flippery rocks. Come on, it's funny.

Jen, you have to help me. I have to get the... Okay. Oh, God!

Throw a fucking rock at me?

Just here, come here. Make that face again.

Stop!

Come here.

You got it?

Ah! Stop!

Okay, it's good, it's good, it's good.

You're throwing rocks at me?

Frog rapids in this river.

Are you fucking throwing rocks at her, you fuckhead?

They fly up.

I'm going to try and put this in right here.

See, that's what I have.

We spent like four hours on it. Can you help me across?

Let go of the log!

Let go of it! Where do you hang out? We're gonna come by and wreck all your

stuff. This isn't your stuff! It belongs to the river!

No it doesn't!

Are you kidding me?

I'm gonna tell the Indian chief that you're doing this!

Alright,

I'm out. Just leave, please.

Fine! We'll leave!

We didn't want to be here in the first place!

Let's just throw it at them.

Stupid!

They took a huge flat one that went downstream.

Hey guys!

You know what you're gonna do, don't do it.

Guys! Thanks for the shoes!

What? Just ignore them.

Just ignore them.

They'll leave.

But they already took our shoes. They'll leave and that's all that fucking

matters right now, right?

As long as you don't mind pork products touching your nut dogs.

This is not pork products, it's beans.

Yeah, they put pork in baked beans.

Oh, fuck.

Shit.

Oh well, I already had an egg today anyway.

Can you not do that, please?

Stop. Stop.

Truth or dare?

Truth.

Truth. I'm thinking.

If you have something that you want to ask me, you can just ask it to me.

I don't know if there's something I want to ask you. Jesus.

I'm trying to think, it's really hard.

I was already asleep and you woke me up.

It's nice to start your day with a glass of milk.

Can I use your toothbrush?

Didn't you bring one?

No. Why wouldn't you bring a toothbrush?

I forgot.

Well, you could do with the other side.

Like rope.

So what do you want to do today?

I want to take a nap.

A lot of rocks.

River rock.

I think you've taken me to a dried up river, not a hiking trail.

This isn't a river.

I think it's starting to rain.

This isn't even a mountain.

It's a pass. We're hiking laterally.

Do you have another activity that you want to do?

No.

Okay, then we're going to hide. Why do you keep taking me to people's private

property?

We could have stayed in New York and broken into people's apartments.

Calm down, stop!

Jen!

That really hurt.

You need to apologize to me.

You need to apologize to me. You can't just hit people.

Jen!

What are you doing?

You're really freaking me out.

I'm gonna go back.

I think you should think about apologizing to me.

What if we don't?

The damn scalpels in the shower, the aches in the shopping bag.

Break the rocks on Rikers Island, ain't got time for tears.

Break the rocks on Rikers Island for 99 years.

What the fuck is this?

Hello. Where's Alice?

Uh, she's shitting.

She let you in here?

Yeah. What are you doing here?

I'm just farting around.

Can you get off my bed?

Oh, this is your bed? Get off my bed. Oh man, I'm so sorry.

Alice! Get off my bed! Alright, alright.

Um, can you get my pants? No! Get off my bed!

Hold on. Let me just clean this up. Alice!

Get off my bed!

Shut up.

Don't tell me to shut up. Get off my fucking bed. That's my bed and this is

my apartment. Get off my bed!

Um... I don't know where my pants are.

I can't fucking deal with this shit.

Alice!

Alice.

Get out of there.

I need to talk to you.

I will be out in a second.

I need you to get out of here.

I'm not leaving after that. I need you to get out of here now.

No. I'm going to give you ten seconds. I'm going to call the cops.

What is it, Puerto Rican Day? I don't know what the fuck that means. I just

need you to get out of here.

You're going to call the cops? What are you going to say? I'm going to call the

cops. I'm going to say there's a fucking stranger in my bed. They know I'm not a

stranger. Get out of my bed.

I'm not going to leave.

Especially not now.

You are going to leave because that is my bed and this is my apartment and I'm

telling you to leave.

What do you need your bed for?

I need you to leave.

Look, this is a strange situation for me too. I'm trying to make the best of it.

This isn't your situation, this is my situation.

I came into my apartment... I'm the one without my pants on.

That's not my problem.

I know, that's my problem.

I'm trying to be nice.

I am too.

What the fuck is going on in here?

Alice, what the fuck is going on in here? I don't want to talk about it

right now, okay?

You have to talk about it. We'll talk about it later. I don't want to talk

about it right now.

I'm not going to deal with this right now. I want to talk about it right now.

I wanted to talk about it when I was on my fucking camping trip, but you won't

answer the phone.

So now, I want to talk about it now.

Do you understand that you cannot...

Just decide to not talk to me anymore.

I decide to not talk to you. That is not acceptable.

Alice, come on.

Let's go. Shut the fuck up. Hey, I gotta go. You shut up. I gotta go.

Hunk, shut up. Hey, you didn't tell me to shut up.

Tell him not to talk to me that way.

Come on, let's go. You didn't let him tell me to shut up. We gotta go. I'm

sorry.

Where are you going?

We have some stuff to do. Where?

I just have plans, all right?

We have plans.

What are you talking about?

We're going to the bar tonight.

Like we do every single Sunday night.

Today is Sunday. We're going to the bar.

I can't go tonight. I'm sorry. What do you mean you can't go?

Don't look at him. Don't look at him. Look at me.

I gotta go. I gotta go. We'll talk about it later. I gotta go.

Can I go, please?

It's not fucking funny.

Meet me at the bar at 9 o'clock.

I can't. I can't.

I'm going to be there at 9 o'clock.

What? I'm going to be there at 9 o'clock.

Alice, you've got to be...

Is the other girl's broad?

She's like, how can my boyfriend be with someone whose boobs are this small?

Is this the boob story?

Yeah, she calls the police at the end. That's really cool.

Can I get a gin and tonic?

With lime, please.

So you came.

So are you going to ask me how my weekend was?

I'm sure it was amazing.

How was your weekend?

Because I know you were so busy you couldn't come. You had a lot of stuff to

do. Your calendar was packed.

What are you doing?

Writing notes.

To who?

Whoever uses this.

I had a friend who used to do that in the fourth grade.

You had a friend?

If you're just going to sit here and not talk to me, we should just go home.

Alice.

Alice. What's your problem?

I said, if you're just going to sit here and not talk to me, we should just go

home.

Excuse me. Excuse me what?

Excuse me what?

Excuse me, please go away.

I wasn't ready to go and she asked me if I... What's that?

Did you get a dollar?

I don't really have enough to...

Are you asking her for money?

Are you soliciting money from her? Are you talking to me? Dude, will you shut

up? I'm really talking to her right now. Oh, excuse me.

Sorry, I thought I was talking to her. That's funny.

Okay, now we're talking to each other. Yeah, we're talking to each other. Got

it.

Are you drinking? What are you drinking?

She's just drinking gin and tonics. Is this all you have? Just drink.

I think I have a little bit more. Can you please move? This isn't enough

for... I think I have a little bit more. Excuse me. Excuse me.

I'm not touching your fucking garbage. Get water for him. Can you please go

over there?

Yeah, the smell is really starting to get to me. So please move over there.

Don't give him money.

Don't give him money.

But you can get a drink. Okay, you know what?

Guys, usually in this country, men come and buy drinks for women.

That's usually the way it goes. Finding the movement of the sound.

Was that English?

I didn't catch that. Shut up. You don't get it? I don't sound English.

No, you don't.

You don't look English.

I'm not English. I'm American.

I love verbs.

You're fucking disgusting.

I think so.

Yeah, I do. You don't believe it.

I think it and I believe it.

She likes me.

She hates you.

You know who she does like?

What is it?

I am going to tell them about your best friend.

Who's my best friend now?

This girl.

This girl at the bar down the street. She's got these teeth that are like

black and stuff. Nobody wants to hear this story. Nobody wants to hear this

story.

Why are you asking us for money when you have your own alcohol?

Nobody wants to hear this story. But she started making out with her, even though

she is a kid. I might be pissed off if that story was actually true, but it's

not. Can you stop staring at her boobs, please?

It's really fucking disgusting.

I'm really surprised that you even remember that night, because wasn't that

the night that you got really high from the cough syrup?

She likes to drink a children's triaminic to get high.

Yeah, isn't it great? It's like, it's like PCP, kind of.

Let's, uh... Look.

I got you a shot.

Who got me the shot?

You did. You bought us some drinks. You had the money after all.

You got a thank you?

She's gonna puke.

She can't do shots. Did she tell you that? Yeah.

Do you?

Yeah. That's what she called for me, but I don't... Okay, I don't really...

Hold on, this is mine.

You trying to prove something?

Jesus Christ, I told you.

How far is the bathroom from here?

I don't know.

Do you want to have sex with me?

No. I think I bet you do.

You're wrong.

And also, people don't ask people questions like that.

I think that they do a lot.

I think that you do a lot.

I don't even know what you're talking about.

Since you've come over to talk to us, nothing you've said...

We don't know.

Okay, we can go home.

Okay,

that's okay.

Okay, just clean yourself up. I know,

he's really gross. Just clean yourself up.

Let me go get you some water.

Get the fuck out of there.

Let's go. You're out. You're out.

Alice, come on. Let's go. Come on. Come on. Get away from her. Get away from

her. You get away from her. How's she doing, man? Fucking Aggie girl.

Get away from her! Get away from her!

Alice!

Alice! She really fell off. Come on, get up. Maybe I'll lose.

Alice, get up. Wait a minute.

Get up!

You're killing me!

Get up!

hit your head on the toilet and pass out.

Okay, in a second I'm going to leave.

I'm going to go to the bed.

You probably shouldn't be eating that much milk.

Because you threw up like three times last night.

If you threw up again with the milk, that would be really gross.

I'm just kidding.

So what are you doing today?

Nothing.

Well...

Well, it's a really nice day out, so maybe we should go to the park.

I can make a picnic.

But with some bland food so you don't throw up again.

No, I'm not going to the park.

Maybe we could go down to the water.

We could walk over the bridge.

We could... I'm not doing anything today, Rachel.

You're just gonna sit here all day?

I know that's what you do during the week, but this is the weekend, so let's

do something different. I have stuff to do.

Like what?

Like what?

I asked you a question.

Jesus Christ.

I don't have to deal with you.

I'm not asking if it has to do with me. I'm just asking what you have to do.

I just have stuff to do, right?

Something that you could do today that has nothing to do with me that would be

really good is that you could look for a job.

I could.

I'd appreciate that a lot, actually.

So let's do this.

You take a shower.

Change.

I'll help you clean up your side of the room.

Then we could go do something.

I'll even go with you to look for a job. How about that?

I'll go with you.

Marshall, I'm not hanging out with you today.

No, I'm not talking about hanging out. I'm talking about getting shit done. I'm

not doing anything with you today.

Why are you being so weird?

Look, you don't have to be embarrassed about what happened last night. It's

okay. Yeah, I'm not embarrassed. I'm sorry, I should have said that first.

It's okay.

It is really embarrassing, but you apologized already.

Rachel, shut the fuck up.

Don't talk to me like that.

Don't talk to me like that. I don't tell you to shut up. I didn't tell you to

shut up. You don't tell me to shut up.

I'll tell you to shut up. No, no, you won't tell me to shut up.

I'm just trying to be a fucking good friend to you, and then just let me make

my own fucking decisions, alright?

You weren't making a decision.

You don't make decisions. You make me make them for you.

No, you make them for me without asking. No, you make me! You make me! Rachel,

fuck you!

Don't you fucking talk to me like that. Give me this fucking bowl.

You gotta...

Alice, I don't know where you went, but you need to come home and do the dishes

right now.

It's disgusting.

Hey, Jen. It's Rachel.

I thought you said that you were going to call me, and you haven't, so I guess

you should probably call me.

Bye.

Oh, my God.

Guess who I saw on the subway today?

Guess who? Who's the best person I see on the subway?

Had an advice guy. I saw him. He was sitting, like, two people next to me.

Rachel, that's not nice. He's deformed. I know. That's the point.

It's a weird... weird.

Are you washing the dishes?

Alice is doing the dishes?

I do the dishes. This is amazing.

Because do you know how long I've been waiting for you to wash the dishes?

Do you have any idea how long?

I've been waiting for three weeks.

There's three weeks of dishes in there.

And most of them are yours, too.

And there's rotten milk in there, and it stinks. So I think while you're at it,

you should just keep going and watch all of them.

OK, that's one.

Now there's a lot more in there.

And you know what?

While you're doing the dishes you might get an idea to take a shower.

You might be inspired to wash yourself.

Taking a break?

No, don't turn this into that I did something wrong. I didn't do anything

wrong.

I didn't do anything wrong. I'm just trying to make you just be like a

regular person.

What the hell does that even mean? It means that regular people do their

dishes, regular people make their beds, regular people put garbage in garbage

cans instead of on their bed.

Stuff like that.

Alice.

It's really uncalled for.

And really immature.

Alice. You're not even looking.

You're not even looking. Look.

It's you.

Alice.

What did you used to do? Wear men's clothes?

Come on, this is fun.

Alice,

this is fun.

Alice.

Alice, if you're mad at me for something, you have to tell me. It's not

fair otherwise. Rachel, not everything is about you.

Alright?

Alice. What are you doing?

What the fuck?

Where are you going?

Where are you going?

I got a job.

You got a job?

Yeah, I got a job, okay?

Why wouldn't you tell me? That's really good news.

This is so typical.

You only want to talk to me about bad shit that's happening. Anytime anything

good happens, you don't want to tell me anything about it.

Rachel, I tell you everything.

So what is this job?

Why does it require packing?

I have to go to New Jersey.

The job is in New Jersey? For what?

I am talking to you!

You're just gonna make fun of me.

What are you talking about?

When have I ever made fun of you?

What does that mean, I'm gonna make fun of you?

Is it something to make fun of you for?

No. Because then maybe I would. No. But if it's a regular job, why would I make

fun of you?

What is the job?

I'm working at Six Flags.

You're working at Six Flags?

Yeah.

You're right. I might make fun of you for that.

Why are you working at Six Flags?

There's about a million jobs that you could get here.

Well, I got this job, okay?

I don't really want to talk about it. I gotta go, okay?

I'm running late.

So, I'll talk to you later.

You can't just go!

Were you just gonna go without me knowing about it?

No.

I left you a note in the community.

Oh, you left me a note. I'm so lucky.

Let me see.

Oh, that's a good note.

That's a really good note, Alice.

Rachel. I took off for a little while. I'll give you a call later. P.S. I got a

job.

What the fuck kind of note is this? This tells me shit.

Well, what else do you need to know, Rachel? This is why I didn't want to...

This is why you didn't want to what?

You don't finish any of your sentences anymore. I knew exactly what you were

going to do.

What does that mean, what I was going to do?

What the fuck does that mean, you knew what I was going to do?

You're so fucking predictable.

I'm predictable?

I'm predictable?

You want to know what's predictable?

What's predictable is that every time I come home for work, you're going to be

in that fucking bed watching DVDs of some shit, and your room's going to look

like a pigsty, and then I'm going to go into the kitchen and try to get

something to eat, but I can't because I can't even get a dish because all the

dishes are in the sink all crested with your disgusting milk and ice cream and

whatever the hell shit you eat.

That's what's predictable.

That's what's predictable for me around here. I don't know what I do that's so

predictable that you have to sneak out in the morning and pack a fucking bag

like some kind of little kid who's running away from home.

Alice, you can't just do this. You're so fucking immature.

Hey, Jen?

What? Oh, hey, it's Rachel.

I know.

You didn't leave anything in the car, so... I know.

What I was thinking was that the camping trip had just ended way too short,

and... What?

I'm just... I was just wondering if maybe...

I'm sorry. I didn't think it was that early. Sorry.

It's not that early. How?

What time is it?

I don't know, like 9?

Okay. What were you saying?

I was saying that I just think that the camping trip ended way too short and I

think that it'd be really fun if you came up here and we went for a picnic or

something. I just think that'd be really fun. I'm going through serious gen

withdrawal over here.

So...

And I decided that I'm not going to wash any dishes.

I'm not going to do any laundry. I'm not going to do anything.

And you know what happened?

We have, like, three weeks worth of dishes piled up in the sink. It smells

like shit. Actually, it smells just like Alice's side of the room always does.

And she hasn't washed any of her clothes.

And now none of my clothes are washed because I was going on this stupid

strike. So now, it's like I'm really just tired of being her mother, you

know? I'm really tired of...

i'm really tired of doing all this for her i'm really tired of telling her when

she has to get up and i'm really tired telling her yeah you know what i mean

it's really really frustrating yeah it's like i'm in charge of her life and i

don't want to be i just want to be her friend yeah so you know what i'm saying

yeah yeah do you know what i'm

saying or don't you yeah stop it what what are you doing

Nothing. You're not listening to me.

If you're not listening, I'm not going to talk.

Oh.

Uh-huh.

And?

And I called you here so that I could talk to you, and now you're not

listening to me, so I don't even know what I'm doing. What? And?

What are you talking about? Uh-huh.

Stop being weird. Stop it.

And? Jen!

And? What are you talking about?

And what?

And? And what? And?

If you don't start acting normally, I'm just gonna leave.

You giving me the finger?

All right, thank you

style slideshow.

Ten acts!

One single show, each act more dangerous than the last. Are you folks ready to

see this act?

Take a good look, my friends. I'll place it right up there. I'm going to give it

a few taps.

Get it started just like a piece of wood. Take a look.

Each tap.

Oh, oh, oh, wait. I hit something soft.

Oh, oh, oh, oh.

There we are!

And the acts she won't remember are the acts you won't forget. By means, it's

Amy Amnesia!

Hello. Hello, Amy. How are you?

I don't know.

That figures. Why are you on top of me like this? Don't you know why you're out

here on stage?

No idea. I'm here to do an act for all these people right here. Doesn't that

sound great?

Yes!

Good!

What act am I going to do?

go get that white bucket over there my friends until a horrible accident took

her memory amy amnesia trained her body and mind to work together she could not

only overcome pain but injury as well and she's going to demonstrate that for

you with this you think so take a good look in there you can see i see beer

bottles i see wine bottles liquor bottles amy amnesia is going to walk on

this pile of broken glass are you people ready to see that

Ah! Ow!

Oh, jeez.

Hey, this is a Mind and Matter Act.

I don't mind, so it shouldn't matter to you.

George Washington right between the eyes if you would. One, two, three.

Oh, look at that.

My gosh.

That is appalling.

We want to thank you for spending the day with us.

I know you.

Um, Tony?

Yeah. Right?

Yeah, the bed.

I'm leaving.

Are you, um, do you know where she is?

Yeah, she's inside. Did you talk to her today?

Yeah, I talked to her a lot today. Do you know where I could go so that I

could talk to her? You talked to her yesterday?

I need to talk to her.

Yeah?

I need to talk to her.

Yeah, okay. Yeah, you should.

You want to come in here?

You should come in here. Let's talk.

Well, I just really... I know, you need to talk. You need to talk.

Asshole!