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you
Thank you.
Thank you.
I was thinking... I was thinking... You and I might
go away to Bayern.
The next market there. It's supposed to be nice there.
It seems our credit has been... That's a lovely idea, but... What?
I can't leave Lydie alone.
She needs me.
Ivan has been missing for two months. Something bad has happened. Very likely
something bad has happened. Very likely he is dead.
Willow, wake.
Wake up. Mark Antony's waiting. Lombovin died, pig fucker.
Right. Ah, thank you, my honey.
You shouldn't thank slaves.
No harm in it. Bad for discipline.
Happy again this morning.
Niobie, then.
How's she going? I don't understand her. All the who over her sister's damn
husband. Women, eh?
Maybe she's... she's... she's what?
I don't know.
Women.
Mighty vice-conqueror of Gaul, Mars and Bologna swell with...
pride at your doings. I said... Oh, could you know what cack you speak?
Would you just... Get on with your point, man.
Immediately, Your Honor.
I... Populus Servilius is here.
Oh, good. That'll do for this crowd, then. Off with you.
Why? No. Off with you.
Master of Horse and People's Tribune, Mark Antony, will receive your petitions
tomorrow.
Varinus.
Out!
Cynthia, a pair, my love.
Sir
Phileas,
my dear old friend.
How are you? Healthy, healthy.
I thank you.
Forgive me, have we met before?
Have we not?
No idea.
I always pretend so with civilians.
It's more politic, eh?
Ah, and this must be your beautiful wife, whose name escapes me.
Poppea. A flower.
You'll excuse all the bustle. I found Pompey's taste in decor rather dull.
I like a little more colour.
As you say.
You shall make it lovely, we are sure.
You'll forgive me if I talk business with your husband?
Of course.
Pretend I'm not here.
Impossible.
But I shall try.
Now then.
I'm sure you're aware that Caesar has left me in charge whilst he is in
Greece. Yes.
Off having fun chastising Pompey et al.
Left me here to scribble and quibble like a damned civilian.
However, I am determined to make the most of it.
I shall be a good politician, even if it kills me.
Or if it kills anyone else, for that matter.
So, you are, it seems, the most senior senator left in Rome.
I have that honor.
And a turnabout Pompeian to boot.
Which is why I thought it could be amusing if we made you
consul for this year.
Consul?
That's most kind of... Allow me to finish speaking.
When the Senate next meets, there are a couple of legislative items I wish to
see enacted immediately.
I'm sure you'll be happy to assist.
Item one.
The Senate will ratify Caesar's election as your co-consul for the coming year.
But he's dictator in any case.
That sounds so much better if he's consul.
It's more amicable.
You got that? I do. Item two. You will propose the following law.
Forthwith, in every province of Italy, one third of all those employed at
labouring with cattle or in agriculture must be freed men or citizens.
I don't understand. Too many slaves, you see.
They've taken all the work, which causes unemployment amongst the free populace.
We need to create more jobs for our citizens.
It will be hugely expensive.
It will.
But only to those few rich men who own all the land.
And they shall have the consolation of having done something eminently
patriotic. Seems rather, um, extreme, to say the least.
Ruinous, even.
You may well be right.
Frankly, I do not care whether it's the rich, poor, or indeed both that suffer.
Caesar wishes this law to be made. He is my friend.
I will have it made.
If you prefer, I could always bypass the Senate, call an assembly of the people,
and you can put your arguments to them.
A fine orator like yourself might just persuade them that Caesar is wrong.
That won't be necessary.
Good.
Good.
That's it, then.
I don't know what to say.
Say nothing, then.
It's often best.
Oh, you know Parsker, of course.
Caesar's creature.
He'll take all the details.
Papaya.
My dove, if your husband should die, come to me. We'll marry, nay?
So, keeping their promises, innit?
What?
Caesar and Mark Antony, doing right by the people.
That was your worry, wasn't it? That Caesar would turn out to be just another
tyrant sort.
But here's him and Mark Antony getting jobs for the unemployed.
You can't complain about that now, can you?
He negotiates with a whore and a dwarf at his side. Do you think Cincinnatus or
Marius or even the Gracchi would demean themselves so?
Who?
Mark Anthony has his odd ways. There's no denying that.
I'm not going home. I need a drink.
Drink? You?
Aye, drink. One of it.
I'll not argue.
Ouch. Sorry.
You need to calm down a little.
How can I be calm? Two months of this. Are you done yet? Sit still.
Won't catch a pretty new husband with a sour face like that.
I don't want a new husband.
I want Crito.
You can't stay married to a drover. Not now that your father's a prefect.
It wouldn't be right, I told her. Far too low.
Fortune bless you, you haven't paid out dowry. Listen, don't worry.
We'll find you someone nice and proper status.
I don't want anyone.
You can't be unmarried. It wouldn't be decent at your age.
Decent, she says.
What's that supposed to mean?
You know what it means.
You hold your tongue. Or what?
What will you do?
It's all right, sweetie.
It's all right.
I thought it was going well for a while, but now...
Maybe I should beat
her, do you think?
Oh, I don't know.
That only works if you keep at it.
A good thrashing once or twice a day till they're docile.
But then they don't look so good.
It'd be a shame to mark up a beauty like her.
She is here.
She's a beauty.
She is that.
Slaves, money, everything. What do I get?
Nothing. That's what. I get a house full of whaling.
Her wife won't even couple with me.
Why not?
She says she can't, but her sister stays. What's her sister to do with it?
What difference should that make?
What is wrong with her?
What is wrong with her?
What is wrong with me?
I'm served this way.
You should leave her, maybe, seeing as she makes you so unhappy.
No, I will not leave her.
I'd rather die than leave her.
It's all right, love.
It'll be all right.
Who, I say, faced with the overwhelming force of the figures and the
arguments I have here marshaled, could resist their overwhelming conclusion?
Therefore, I ask you...
Honored conscript fathers to support me in this important and
Patriotic legislation which will
Does anyone wish
to speak against the motion
No opposition voice
no division required
Motion carried.
If there's no wine, water will do.
Thank you, my dear.
So, lady, I was asking around, you know, about your man there, Evander.
Asking around?
See if I could find out anything for you.
Only I know a few shady characters, see.
Types that might know what's what when a man's gone missing.
Any road, they tell me that he got himself into some trouble with some
nasty Greek boys across the river.
Gambling debts, they say.
Gambling?
Evander never gambled.
Well, sure, it's the sort of thing a man keeps quiet around his wife, innit?
What are you saying?
I'm sorry to say it, but it looks like he's not coming home.
Dead, it looks like.
Are you sure?
So they tell me.
Dead.
Killed.
It isn't true.
My advice...
Best forget about it.
Best get on with your life.
It isn't true.
It's not so bad.
You've still got people that love you.
Look to them, eh?
Isn't that right, Niobe?
Best she gets on with her life.
Best she looks to the people that love her.
Forget Evander.
Forget the past.
Well, I'm away need a drop of wine to set me up for the day
I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
You're sorry.
Too late for sorry.
You weren't sorry when you were fucking. If you weren't sorry, then I'd piss on
your sorrow. Will not. You!
You're a thief and a whore and you stole my husband. Stole nothing.
He came to me. He came to me. I never loved him. I love my husband.
And if you've done, if you've been... If I've done what?
I had given him a child. Is that it? I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Please forgive
me. Forgive me. I curse you, sister.
By the grace of the Furies, I curse you.
I'll keep your secret for the sake of the child.
Be careful.
Bravo, bravo.
A little bloodlust suits you, Octavian.
You look very handsome, does he not? He does.
Titus Pullo is a good teacher.
Well, it's a pity Caesar isn't here.
He'd put you on his staff immediately.
Perhaps you should go and join him in Greece.
Get some real Pompeian blood on your sword. Don't be silly, Mother.
Well, why not?
If we're not quick, Pompey and Cato and all those fools will be dead before
Octavian gets his chance to shine.
Well, he's still a child. I am not.
He's not. He's quite the little man now. I should think there's more to manhood
than swordplay.
Octavian.
Have you penetrated anyone yet? Mother, please.
Does that mean you have or you haven't?
Haven't, but... Titus Pulo, didn't I tell you to sort that out? I'm sure I
did. I, uh... Sorry, ma'am. I'll see to it.
Do that.
Don't worry, darling. There's really nothing to it.
Once you're in the saddle, as it were, it'll all come naturally.
Isn't that right, Pulo?
That's right, ma'am.
And none of your sordid soldier she-wolves, mind you.
Something clean and pretty.
Clean and pretty it is. Good.
I'll get Marilla to make you a toga.
What else?
Perhaps you can arrange he kills someone.
That will happen in due course.
Me and Julia, I always have the need for enemies.
A daughter.
I wish for a son, a healthy son.
Good night, then.
Good night.
Husband.
Who sold this?
I thought it might be useful if we had some time alone together.
I sent the girls and Lucy's to Clarissa.
The lady?
She's gone to a friend's.
Please sit down.
I've already eaten.
We can have some more.
Sit down with me.
It's all right. Really, Sid, I can't finish all this on my own.
If you'd like to have me tonight.
Thank you.
My dear Mark Anthony, I hope this finds you in better health than my hopes for
victory.
I chased Pompey from one end of Greece to the other, and he resolutely refused
to fight.
I thought this was his usual obtuseness, but the old man has some sense left in
him yet.
While avoiding battle, he has gathered a good ten legions from the east, and I
found myself badly outnumbered.
Now the cat barks at the dog, and Pompey is chasing me.
I can outmaneuver him for a while, but not forever.
My men are tired and ill-supplied, and we shall soon have to stand and fight.
I ask you to bring the 13th here as speedily as you are able.
Damnation.
Shall I summon the Legion Legates?
No, wait.
I must think on this.
This is lovely.
Oh, it's just your colouring. A little loud.
I'd prefer something plainer. What's the point in plain?
We shall take it.
But this one.
Divine. Oh, divine.
Antony will love this. He likes me in eastern styles.
How much for both?
Five thousand.
Well, if four and a half, then.
Three.
Can we afford such expense?
Things as they are with Caesar in Greece. Surely we should be more
prudent. Don't worry about a thing, my dear.
I'm thinking ahead.
Titus Pullo is here, Dominus.
Oh.
Tell him I am unwell.
He may come back next week, perhaps.
Tell him nothing of the sort.
Octavian will be ready to see him in one moment, and give him a purse.
You've put off this moment long enough, my dear mother. You will penetrate
someone today, or I will burn your wretched books in the yard.
Off with you.
Coming through.
Noble coming through. Make way there.
Don't worry, young master.
There's nothing to it. If there's nothing to it, why is such a fuss made
of the thing?
You'll soon find out.
I be off with you. This isn't no infantry fuck-all, thank you very much.
Now, now, my honey, calm your stomach.
We've come for the young master here, and we're well-coined.
Oh, well, excuse me, of course.
I meant no disrespect.
We're honoured to service you, young master.
And what would be the young master's pleasure?
First-timer.
Nothing too savoury.
Oh, I'm sure we have just the thing.
Something exotique, perhaps.
Or else, something young.
Light.
Simple.
A little bit skinny, innit?
Won't know he's been, will he?
Won't know you've been.
More substance.
Yet still nymph-like.
Graceful.
This one's fresh off the boat.
That will be fine.
Hold on, young master.
No point hurrying.
Big decision, this.
Let's have a look at a couple. This one is perfectly adequate.
You will be utterly satisfied, I assure you.
Egeria, go prepare yourself.
If we might dispense with the pecuniary details.
Oh, right.
What's your price, then?
One thousand.
Garry!
I could have half the whores in Narbo for that, and their mothers. We're not
in Narbo.
Whatever that might be.
All right, my dove.
We'll pay.
But the girl better fuck him like Helen of Troy with her arse on fire, or I'll
know the reason why.
Spee? Gnaeus Pompey Magnus sends greetings.
He hopes you find his house satisfactory.
It'll do.
We'll get to his point.
His point?
Caesar is doomed, and you with him, unless you make a separate peace.
And?
If you do, Pompey will be merciful and generous.
How?
He will give you your life, the province.
Money enough to preserve your dignity.
What makes him think I value my life so high?
Why have you not left for Greece?
Do not smile at me.
Return tomorrow.
I'll give Pompey his answer then.
Not that way.
And disguise yourself.
Dismissed.
You take clothes down?
That's an interesting accent.
No understand.
Where are you from?
Where from?
Don't know.
You don't know where you're from?
But don't take me very young kill mother father brother
Take me I see
Turn over, would you?
On your hands and knees.
Nice place, this.
Clean.
I don't suppose, seeing as I'm with the quality... Not a chance.
No, no, no! Oh, do it for real! Fight!
Oh, come on! Fight, damn you, fight!
That's better!
Bravo, Cynthia!
Bravo!
Bravo!
No, don't be so silly. It's just a scratch now, eh?
There, there.
Yes, Posca, what is it?
I am to remind you of your dinner tonight with Attia of the Julii.
Oh, sons of des.
No, no.
It's run along.
Where can he be?
Busy man.
Politics. Politics.
He promised he would come.
Castor!
Send a man to Pompey's, I mean, Mark Antony's villa and inquire his
whereabouts. Antony's whereabouts. Immediately, Domina. Do not say it is I
who sends to ask.
Not you sends to ask.
Stay. He'll know it is I who asks. Send no one.
I will send no one.
If he comes, he comes. I don't care.
Welcome, Douglas.
Sorry to be so horribly late.
Endless business.
Will you forgive me?
Of course.
I confess I'd quite forgotten you were coming, so this is a lovely surprise.
Excuse me a moment. I will go and dress correctly.
Here he is, young Apollo.
How was it? It was pleasant.
Pleasant?
I should say so.
How was he?
Like a bull.
Tell me.
Mark Antony does not intend to go to Greece to help Caesar.
I have sworn loyalty to a man of no honour.
You don't have to go to Greece, then.
We'll be together.
It's true, but still.
Haven't you always said Caesar's cause is wrong?
The point, there is a moral principle involved.
What an idiot you are.
Not hungry?
After so many years of soldier's porridge, I'm easily sated.
Well, this last news from Greece cannot have improved your appetite.
Hardly.
And is it really so bad?
Caesar always finds a way to win.
Pompey has gathered 10 men for every one of Caesar's.
Arithmetic has no mercy.
I feared it was so.
What do you intend to do then?
You've become a powerful man.
The people love you.
Only because they don't know me.
You could be the first man in Rome if you wanted.
I hadn't thought about it like that.
Well, you should.
You should think about that.
I'm thinking about something entirely different.
Water I
could
sleep for a week
I've been thinking.
We should get married.
Married?
Why should we want to do that of all things?
Perhaps I love you.
You're joking.
For a moment there, you had me worried.
I'm not joking with you.
My dear woman.
Oh, please don't worry. I'm not going soft on you.
I'm thinking strategically.
If Caesar is defeated, I can't very well form an alliance with the Pompeians.
I need protection.
True.
And what's in it for me?
If Caesar is defeated... Then I will be defeated also.
Only if you join him in Greece.
But if you stay in Rome, you'll be very well situated. You have the people with
you, you have possession of the city.
You only lack money, and whilst your name is perfectly respectable... I am no
patrician. Exactly.
But allied with my house, you'd have both coin and ability to make yourself
king, if you wished it so.
And you would be queen. I would be your loving and obedient wife.
Only if I were willing to desert a friend.
A man of your own blood.
Oh, too honourable for that, are you?
I like to appear so.
But I don't think you'll die for the sake of appearances.
Will I not?
Caesar will die in any case.
But you're far too clever to share his fate needlessly.
I had not realized until now what a wicked old harpy you really are.
Get out!
Hi, Chipotle.
Hold up. Stand sharp.
Bed in daylight, what luxury.
Father,
that dwarf is asking for you.
Excellency Mark Antony orders 13th Legion to muster on the field of Mars.
Why, where are we going?
Greece.
Tribune.
What shall I tell Pantheon?
Oh, of course.
Excuse me. I'd forgot you.
His skin is a little dry.
Have him well oiled before he is presented.
Buona, dear.
I'm afraid to ask.
Gifts for Sevella.
How fine you look.
Let me see.
I'm so proud of you.
A real man at last, eh?
Why are we giving gifts to Sevella?
The old crow stands in well with Cato and the rest.
When Caesar and his dog Anthony are defeated... If they are defeated.
When they are defeated, we'll need her goodwill. And this will buy it, you
think? I don't see why not.
Large penis is always welcome.
You think it's not enough?
After what you did to her? What I did? What did I do to her? Oh, please, I'm
not stupid.
It was you made Caesar renounce her. What if I did? She doesn't know it. Does
she not?
She's not stupid either.
Sevilia has no guile in her. If she knows it, we would certainly have heard
about it. You know best, I'm sure.
In any case, you will take the gifts to her and see what she's thinking.
She's always been very fond of you.
And you will go to Mediolanum.
Timon will take you.
Mediolanum? They have a very good academy there. I don't understand.
You're a man now.
Rome's not safe for men of the Julii.
toenails are ugly.
have them cut and paint and put some flowers on his head.
oh and send over some ice. six barrels say. six barrels of ice.
I don't look so foolish.
I know what I'm about.
your mother's too kind.
To what do I owe this generosity?
It's a gesture of friendship.
Friendship.
Thank your mother for her friendship.
I hope one day to reciprocate her friendship.
I'll go then.
Wait.
Please forgive my ill-humour.
There's nothing to forgive.
I've known you since you were a little girl. You have a good soul.
I know that whatever others might do, you are blameless.
I know that.
I do know... That is... I cannot... Shh, shh, shh.
It's all right.
There's no need.
Tell your mother that I'm grateful for the gifts and that I treasure her
friendship as always.
You must come and visit me again, will you?
I will.
Promise.
I want there to be no ill feeling between us.
I promise.
You be a good girl.
Do as you're told.
I'll wait for you outside.
to protect you.
Thank you.
A fleet of ships has set sail for Greece, carrying the army of General
Mark Antony.
This month's public bread is provided by the Gavilan Brotherhood of Millers.
The Brotherhood uses only the finest flour.
True Roman bread for true Romans.
This is cactus! It's a wet fruit!
We're perfectly safe. A very good offering was made to Triton.
If Trident can't keep me drier than this, he can suck my cock!
Why can't you learn to keep your fat mouth shut?
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