Original subtitles

DOCTOR: He's flatlined now.

But look-- with the fear stabilizer injections,

we were able to harvest at least 12% more terror.

MAN: Yes, but now we are in need of a new patient.

And I tire of being relegated to this between world.

MAN: What is this madness?

MOLLY: Hi, assholes.

It's Molly.

Oh, I see you already met Tapehead.

GORE COLLECTOR: Do you recognize me, you foul beings?

I suppose not.

I've changed so much.

But know that your undoing comes from your own twisted actions.

MAN: Oh, I recognize you, Gore Collector.

You are our greatest work.

I don't know how you found me, but I welcome you home.

Did Molly tell you why you're really here?

MOLLY: Oh, for the love of fuck, I can't listen

to any more of this shit.

Can we just please kill them now?

GORE COLLECTOR: Gladly.

MOLLY: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about!

You really know how to show a girl a hell of a good time.

GORE COLLECTOR: Wait, where's the last psycho

surgeon, the leader?

MOLLY: Look!

Get me a new movie.

GORE COLLECTOR: But-- but

MOLLY: Oh, hush, silly.

Just watch the funny clowns.

Is this the decision?

It is.

Can you pay the price?

I can make the payment.

PRIEST: All of it.

The beast requires flesh to become flesh.

Your blood will be his price.

Why have you summoned me, maggot?

Revenge.

A worthy cause, but at a great price.

I've already paid the price.

No.

I need more.

I need to come back in style.

I need a posse who will be my new playthings.

Little piece of behemoth.

I dub thee Punchy.

I didn't want all this.

I wanted just one-- you.

What, more than you bargained for?

Consider it a bonus bozo.

You, Gemini, you will be Freakshow.

Ah, succubus.

Batty Boop.

Ooh-hoo-hoo, I always wanted a girlfriend.

What?

Where did he go?

Who is to be my victim?

No.

What's happening?

I guess we're going home, shnookums.

Oops!

I don't want to go.

I want to kill!

You cannot just summon a demon of vengeance and not

have a victim to sacrifice.

I need sacrifice.

I need payment.

I need blood.

This is the research that I've been doing on this demon.

As you can see, Killjoy is a relatively new name.

But he's existed in the canon since ancient times.

So why does he keep coming back?

People conjure him for vengeance,

to wipe out their rivals, just to wreak havoc--

vengeance.

What's up, my homies?

Who are you?

Well, it just so happens that I

am an undercover drug dealer with an ice cream truck,

and dressed up as a clown.

We see that, but what the hell are you doing here anyways?

Fool, you need to watch who the fuck

hood you creeping up in, cuz.

Cuz?

Cuz what?

This dude thinks he funny.

Well, all jokes aside, fellas, I

came to deliver you some drugs.

Drugs?

What kind of drugs?

Let me see that.

It's real.

Well, of course it's real.

And there's plenty more where that came from.

Inside here.

What?

Yes, well, what do you say, huh?

What do you say?

Let's do business.

Ooh, well then, come inside, eh?

Come inside.

Hey!

Welcome to my domain!

What the hell?

Tell me, where the fuck are we?

How the hell should I know, man?

You dragged me into this shit.

Yo, man, where that clown at?

Come on, boys, come on and get me.

He want to play games now.

B, I don't trust him.

This got to be a setup.

Hey, man, there's only one-- but one way to find out.

What the fuck?

Where'd the clown go?

Hey, yo, clown, we know you in here.

Yeah, punk, so come out, come out, whatever you are!

CLOWN: You can't catch me.

Ha!

Did you hear that?

Hell yeah.

Hey, yo, yo, fuck this.

I'm through playing games.

We going to split up and find this clown.

Hell, no, cousin.

You crazy?

Baby boy, if you don't quit acting

like a little bitch and move--

Are you ready?

Let's do it.

Yo, clown, where are you?

This not too bad.

Got to talk to Lorenzo about making this our new spot.

Shit is tight.

There you are.

T-Bone!

What the hell?

Hey.

How's it hanging?

Baby boy?

Baby boy, where you at?

!

Yeah, those speedbumps!

Oh, hell yeah.

Goddamn.

This some good shit.

You're telling me.

There you are.

Hey, look, I don't know what the fuck is going on around here,

but enough is enough.

Game over.

Shut the fuck up before I smoke your punk ass.

What?

Motherfucker, what did you just say to me?

What the-- the fuck is happening to me, man?

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the baddest

motherfucking clown of all?

I'm talking about Killjoy.

My god.

Heh, you flatter me.

You can't be real.

Oh?

Really?

Then what do you think happened to your friend?

You think he cut himself shaving or fell down the stairs or--

You're a demon of vengeance.

What do you want with us?

Who would want vengeance on us?

Who indeed?

Vengeance is mine.

But I'm innocent.

Innocent?

Oh, yes, you must be joking.

Oh, sure, you've never killed anyone.

But you are not--

--innocent.

I didn't do anything.

That may be true.

You see, you're not really the one that I want.

Your ass is mine.

I'm back.

Who is that?

Ooh, woo!

Feels great.

Hello?

All right, Nic, quit fucking around.

Nic?

Nic?

Oh my god!

Stop it!

Who is that?

Oh my god.

I see you in there.

Hello.

Ooh, oh--

Ew.

I hate sloppy seconds.

What the hell?

What the fuck?

Hey!

Yo, cuz, That wasn't a cool stunt

you pulled back there, man.

Don't get caught slipping.

Come on out, wherever you are.

Look, enough of this hide and go seek shit.

I got a bullet with your name on it.

KILLJOY: I know.

Man, who the fuck are you?

KILLJOY: Welcome to my world, Lorenzo.

Man, how the fuck you know my name?

I said, how the fuck you know my name?

That's for me to know and for you to find out.

Go to hell.

Been there, done that.

Clown-- a motherfucking clown?

Hmm, got a problem with that?

Yeah, I might have one if you don't

tell me who the fuck you are.

Oh, I don't think so.

Maybe you should ask your homeboys.

Baby Boy?

Yo, look what this clown did to me, man.

I looked all fucked up, don't I?

Hey, Baby Boy.

No hard feelings, right?

Man, fuck you.

Oh, shit, T-Bone?

Man, this dude gave me the ,, man.

Right?

But look what he did to my face!

'cause you a liar, cuz.

But I know you got my back, right?

Hey, what did I say?

I knew you're the bomb.

What else can a clown do nowadays?

This motherfucker think he funny.

Kill his ass!

Yeah, cuz, kill his ass.

Do what you gotta do!

What the hell are you waiting for, cuz?

Man, cancel this fool!

Man, what the hell is going on right here, man?

Man, if you don't cap this clown--

Yeah, man, kill him!

Do what you gotta do!

Man, you-- you got to be kidding me.

Well, maybe I am, and maybe I'm not.

What?

You messing with my mind, man.

You know what?

Fuck this.

What the fuck are you?

I am your worst nightmare.

Now that's how you bust caps, motherfucker.

Flesh for flesh, fallen angel, demon

jester, master of disgrace.

Killjoy, thee I incarnate.

Ow-- oh, oh, ah, ah.

Why have you summoned me, maggot?

I didn't summon you.

Ooh.

Oh.

Well, this is awkward.

JUDGE: How do you plead?

How do I plead?

What the fuck do you mean, how do I plead?

This is your arraignment.

Arraignment.

I'm on trial?

What court can try me?

Don't you know who I am?

Who are you?

How do you plead, innocent or guilty?

What are you talking about?

I'm Killjoy!

I'm guilty as hell!

Wait, wait a second.

Where-- where are we?

Wait, what happened to my hair?

Who the hell are you?

I'm the bailiff.

Bailiff?

What?

Whoa!

Hey, big guy.

Hey, Mr. Bailiff, where are we going?

We're going down.

How long is this going to take, exactly?

Come on, what the fuck?

Fuck your !

Kneel for the Honorable Judge Beelzebub.

What the hell?

Indeed.

I demand to know what the--

You can demand nothing.

You are here to stand trial.

Trial?

What for?

What did I do wrong?

What haven't you done wrong?

I feel like I'm on Little House on the Fucking Prairie.

Oh, no, they got LA tap water out here?

There we go-- Beverly Hills tap water.

Hello?

Somebody there?

Ce-Ce, is that you?

Come on out, girl.

Ms. Martinez is getting pissed.

Ce-Ce?

Are you in there?

Come on, talk to me, girl.

Ce-Ce?

Oh, god! Blood!

Oh, god!

What the fuck?

Enough of that.

Put on a happy face.

All your troubles are almost over for good.

Stay the hell away from me, man.

Oh?

I thought everybody loved a clown.

You come near me, I swear I'll fuck you up.

Ooh.

Temper, temper, my friend.

Here, let me cool you off.

Ooh!

Ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, here it comes.

Ooh, ooh, ah, ah, oh, oh, oh--

Ooh, ooh, ah, oh, oh, ooh--

You're fucking crazy, dude.

What?

You didn't think that was funny?

Nah.

Well, then how about this?

Now that's funny.

Ooh.

Ew.

Come on out.

Come on!

What the hell was that?

Shit, man.

I got a bad feeling about this.

No shit.

KILLJOY: What's the holdup?

Dinner is ready and waiting.

If you don't come, we will start without you.

Guess that was the dinner bell.

Ready, guys?

How could I wait?

It's time to go.

Ready?

Let's get it over with.

I'll go first.

Booyah!

Hello, pretty boy.

Am I supposed to be here?

Sure you are.

Where else would you be?

On a rescue mission, I think?

Foinallly, someone to take me away from all dis.

Really?

Save me!

Hey, I got a--

I got a girlfriend.

What?

How dare you make lewd and lascivious advances on me

when you got a girlfriend?

Think of her!

I am!

I am.

You are what?

Thinking of my girlfriend.

But I'm sitting right on top of ya.

You're one of those crazy psycho bitches, aren't you?

I tink that's the sweetest thing anyone's ever told me.

What the fuck?

Hey, baby.

Where have you been all this time?

I've been a good girl.

Oh.

Oh, really?

Have you?

Yes.

Where's Erica?

What, you mean dinner?

The main course?

Where's Rojer and Zilla?

Those two pathetic clowns are being well taken care of.

Don't worry about them.

You fucking bastard, you'd better

not hurt my friends or I'll--

Or what?

People keep saying that, and I want to know what.

Let me guess, you're going to call me names?

No?

Well, then maybe you're going to laugh at me.

You find me funny, huh?

No?

Watch this.

Didn't you think that was funny?

No.

Well, then, you got to dance.

- What? - Dance!

Yeah, dance.

Or what?

Get this through your pretty little head.

When you say or what, I have an answer to that question.

So go ahead, ask me again.

Or what?

You'll never see your friends again.

We'll have just a quickie, you know?

In, and that's it.

Don't-- don't you mean in and out?

I got teeth everywhere, honey.

There's no out.

Shit!

Don't sweat it, baby butter.

Your girlfriend won't know.

She will if my dick's bitten off.

Really?

Hey, don't-- don't you got a boyfriend?

Yeah, Killjoy's my old man.

What a dweamboat.

Killjoy.

Well, if you're cheating on him, he'll cheat on you.

He wouldn't do dat.

How do you know?

Dance!

Hell, kind of sexy.

Hell, you're hot.

Ah, you noticed.

Yeah, I work out a little bit.

It's not all balloon puppets, creamy maggot

pies, and juggling, you know?

You see that?

It would appear that you're trying to make a deal with me.

Look, I know who's boss around here.

I can get used to this.

I'm not a fool.

But I can be one for you.

So you want to bargain for your life, eh?

An arrangement, if you will.

What could you possibly offer me?

I could offer you something that you've never had before.

And what would that be?

Consensual sex.

And I'm a virgin.

Oh--

Thank you, evil one.

Yes, I'm going to take--

and I'll put--

I've never had consensual sex before, I'm sorry.

I--

Follow my lead.

OK.

What is it? What?

What? What?

What is it?

Nothing.

I thought you said you were a virgin.

I watch a lot of porn.

Gotcha.

Take me, I'm yours.

You be on top.

Huh?

Mm-hmm.

OK.

Oh, hey, baby.

What are you doing here?

I see you're playing with your food.

This?

This is not what it looks like.

OK, chowder breath, what's it look like?

She was coming on to me.

Are you actually telling the truth?

Yes, yes.

Ow!

Damn it, Batty, what the hell?

Am I supposed to believe that?

Yes.

Mm-hmm.

Besides, you get to play with your food.

Weren't you just getting your rocks off with her boyfriend?

What?

BOTH: Shut up!

I'm a succubus.

That's my job.

What's your excuse?

What's my excuse?

I'm Killjoy.

I don't need no stinking excuse!

That was some good pussy.

Yes, I was a demon prince, top clown in hell,

with 1,000 different names, where I lord

it over the quivering masses.

Yes, I was their god!

ALL: Killjoy!

Killjoy!

Killjoy!

BATTY BOOP: Snap out of it.

Oh, yeah.

Oh--

Yeah.

KILLJOY: Yeah.

Yeah.

You know what?

Oh, yeah.

Let's just do this.

Let's do it.

Come on.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh. Oh.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, yeah.

We're on in 10 minutes.

Can't you knock before you barge in on somebody

who is obviously looking at--

I'm motherfucking Killjoy.

We're live in two minutes.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, we're live, we're live.

It's showtime.

Motherfucking Killjoy, motherfucking Killjoy--

7, 6.

"Killjoy's Psycho Circus!"

Welcome to "Psycho Circus."

On tonight's show, we'd have a very special guest, Dr.

G. Ross, author of "Koulrophobia--

Killjoy and Other Delusions."

Look at that, he spelled coulrophobia with a K.

How fucking clever.

So anyway, I-- what?

What do you want?

What-- titty twister?

Karate chop?

Stop, it doesn't make any sense.

What--

Top 10, dumbass!

Oh, top 10.

Why didn't you just say so, shit for brains?

OK, it's time for tonight's top 10.

Tonight's top 10, it's top 10 reasons

that Batty Boop left the party.

All right, all right, top 10 reasons Batty Boop

left the party, to be read by--

Batty Boop?

What the fuck?

What the fuck?

What the--

Oh-- OK, all right, all right, whatever.

Number 10.

Fish breath spends more time on his hair than I do.

OK, number nine.

Dental work.

Those teeth.

Number eight.

When I said cweam pie, I had something else in mind.

Well, number seven?

The third asshole.

Number six.

Tongue fungus.

Number five.

Immigwation status.

Number four.

Finger snaps.

Psh.

Number three.

You let your only victim get away.

KILLJOY: That Zilla is fast.

She's got moxie or something.

She's got, like, frickin' crazy legs and-- no,

all right, you know what? Number two.

You fucking went to Shivers and Quivers' wedding

without me?

You weren't invited!

I mean, whoa, that sure was fun.

And the number one reason why Batty Boop is

no longer in the Clown Posse.

Fish bweath.

Fish breath?

What was that?

What was that?

Who wrote this shit, huh?

This is horrible.

I'm surrounded by morons.

A mirror.

Thank the heavens.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's

the hottest Batty of them all?

Surely it's me.

Oh, thank you, mirror, for being there.

Hmm.

Mm.

That looks--

What?

BOTH:

You!

Me?

Yeah, you, you home-wrecking floozy!

How dare you horn in on my clown?

No, no, no, no, no, no, I--

I, like, am not trying to go for Killjoy, I promise.

I'm trying to get closer to his sponsor, ..

Cut the cwap.

I seen you stick your hips and put your grubby paws

all over fish breath.

He means nothing to me.

Nothing?

Mm-mm.

Listen, pipsqueak, before you ever

see Junior or Killjoy again, I'm going to break you in half.

Oh, really?

If you see me again, you're going to break me in half?

Oh, jeah.

Mm.

Joo can take that to the bank.

Need, like, lasers and stuff.

And I need all this work done by next week, all right?

No excuses.

Sure thing, boss.

And if you need guns, remember to talk to my guys.

Right, right, right.

Yeah.

What the fuck are you still doing here?

Oh, I tot I'd rehearse.

Oh, you're taking the job seriously?

No kidding.

Yeah, the makeup looks a lot better.

And you're really nailing that annoying accent.

It's like fingernails on a chalkboard.

Ooh.

Is dat so?

Yeah, if I didn't know better, I'd say

you were the real Batty.

I've never met anyone like you.

Oh, I hope not.

I "ate" sloppy seconds.

Wow.

You're an animal.

Joo can say that.

Mm.

Joo look scwumptious.

I think I have to confess to something.

What's that?

I debug code for a medical software company.

My pimp avatar is just my online profile.

And when I said I was a player, I meant a video game player.

Oh, yeah?

That's gweat.

KILLJOY : Yeah, later on--

BATTY BOOP: Good for joo.

--Ms. Batty Boop here is going to double vault. You know,

normally, she can juggle more the one,

but not with her hands, if you know what I'm saying?

You know what?

Screw the top 10.

We're going to go straight to the interview.

What da hell is dat?

Oh, it's "Psycho Circus."

Great show.

Killjoy is awesome.

Joo watch that shit?

Yeah, and he's got some crazy sidekicks.

There's Punchy, Freakshow, and smoking hot Batty Boop.

"Psycho Circus," everybody.

Yeah, tonight's going to be a great show.

So anyway--

Dat's not Batty Boop!

Sure it is.

Oh, man, she's sexy.

I'd give my left nut just to tap that piece of ass.

You're going to give more dan dat.

What?

You know her?

I am her, dumb shit!

Order.

Order.

Court is now in session.

Let's get to it.

Did you get your witnesses?

Yes, your honor.

You may start, my dear.

Killjoy--

I object!

To what?

I don't know.

I guess I just got a little excited.

Do you even know what you're doing?

Keep it in your pants, or else.

Or else?

I saw that in a movie once.

I could do that all day.

Go on, my dear.

Killjoy, king of the trickster gods, the royal jester of hell.

He has been tormenting humanity from the beginning.

But somewhere in history, the accused has become a joke.

Whereas previously, Killjoy would

strike terror with his macabre tricks, he is now laughed at.

Ah, the one that got away.

The what?

Who?

Silence!

Killjoy, once a god of skill, wisdom, and intelligence--

Once?

--now a pathetic clown.

Can Killjoy fill those very, very big shoes?

Oh, man.

Perhaps the realm is ready for a new trickster

king, a new harlequin, a new top clown.

No!

Killjoy is known by many names.

And he is worthy of none.

Agreed.

Scribe?

What just happened?

Once a name is crossed, it's gone forever.

What happened to conviction before punishment?

This is hell.

Punishment is part of the process.

Was it more than you anticipated?

Welcome, all, to my feast--

the feast of souls, the feast of fools.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Dig in!

But, before we get to the main course, let's chat.

You, Professor, tried to cheat me.

What?

What is he talking about?

A mistake for which you and your friends will pay!

It was not a mistake.

What are you talking about?

No?

Enlighten me.

You are a foul aberration, a sick stench in the human mind.

You lure desperate people into your trap.

You prey on the weak, promising them strength.

And then you take everything they have.

Do I know you?

You will.

I have never been so well complimented.

Your words are so sweet.

Kind of makes me hungry.

Say it.

Say it now.

Say what?

Yeah, what's wrong with you?

Say his fucking name.

Dinnertime.

Go!

No!

KILLJOY: Time.

No!

Why aren't you doing anything?

Ah, you--

Come on.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!

No!

KILLJOY:

Ooh.

Welcome Trent Ha--

Haaga.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yes, yes, yes.

Hey, how's it going, man?

Not too bad.

How's it going with you?

It's all good.

It's all good.

Can't complain.

Cannot complain at all.

Great.

OK, so I have a question.

All right, ask away.

I will, I will, just give me a second.

I--

Ask your question.

Don't be shy.

I'm not shy, motherfucker.

I'm trying to ask the question.

Quit interrupting me.

Just ask the question, puss.

OK, all right, I will.

So how in the fuck do you pronounce your name?

Do you pronounce both the As separately?

I mean, is it Ha-aga, or Ha--

I don't know.

I don't know, so it was fucking killing me

in the dressing room.

Is that the best you got, huh?

Fuck you, that's how you pronounce my name.

How do you like that?

I don't like it at all, as a matter of fact.

So let's talk about your movies.

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but you

didn't actually play Killjoy in the first Killjoy movie,

did you?

No, that was Angel Vargas.

Yeah, I know, he did such a wonderful job.

Really?

Are you fucking kidding me?

I'm serious.

I thought he nailed it.

He doesn't even look like you.

He got the essence right--

the soul of Killjoy.

The soul?

You got no soul.

You're nothing but a sad patchwork of whiny fart jokes.

I can't argue that, but I couldn't have

played Killjoy better myself.

I could play you better than you.

Bullshit.

Bullshit? Bullshit?

Look, look at what you're doing.

Look at what you're doing. - What?

What am I doing? - I don't know.

What am I doing? - What?

What?

Man, you're such a douche.

Man, you're such a douche.

Look, all you're doing now is copying me.

You're just copying me.

And doing a crappy job of it, too.

Well, yeah, that was the acting part.

What, so crappy acting is part of being Killjoy?

Yeah, that's my take on it.

And that's how I get to the soul of Killjoy.

Thank you.

Look, you're easy.

As a matter of fact, everything you're doing right now,

I could do it.

I could do it better than you.

Not everything.

Oh, great, it's the old pie tin to the face gag.

Yeah, comical, but a little lame.

Give me that.

Give those back!

No, no, I got this.

I got this.

All right, hey, hey, check it out, everybody,

it's Killjoy killing Trent Haaga.

Ooh!

He's right, that's exactly how

I would have done it!

I'm having a bit of an existential moment here.

Punchy, you fat, blundering idiot, destroy him!

Punchy, now remember what we talked about.

There is no reason you have to take this abuse from him.

A-boos?

What the fuck are you talking about?

He has to take whatever abuse I give him.

Punchy, listen to me.

He's nothing but rules.

He doesn't have any real control over you.

Me crush you.

No, Punchy, no, I am the boss.

Oh, here you are.

The hell are you doing?

Why don't you say his name?

He already killed Rojer and Erica.

There's a mirror.

No one's going anywhere.

It's time for dessert.

The only way you're getting out of here is inside of me.

"Finnerdig," I command you.

"Finnerdig," that is your true name.

I have many names!

And this book contains them all.

,, Loki, ,, ,, I command you.

I control you.

Who are you?

I'm father of one of your victims, one of the people

that called you from the depths, whose soul you devoured.

You tricked me.

You used these kids to distract me, to weaken me,

to exact your plan of revenge, huh?

What?

Professor, is that true?

Be careful-- when hunting monsters,

you may become one yourself.

I know what I am!

You sold us out!

I'm doing what has to be done.

It's so devious.

I'm proud of you.

I was the object of your revenge.

I was the one.

Imagine that-- ow-- all this time.

Shut up.

Shut up.

But here's the part you don't want to hear,

the fatal flaw in your little plan.

You see, you're right, I am created by all of you.

I am a part of you, and you are all a part of me!

I said, shut up!

Your son is a part of me!

How will you avenge him?

YOUNG MAN: It's good to finally meet you, dad.

No.

It's me, Michael, the son you never met.

Michael?

That-- that can't be you.

We all become Killjoy.

When we call on him for vengeance,

we become a part of him.

Soon, you will join us.

Dad, soon, we will be together.

I have power over you.

Dad, is my name in that book?

Do you see Michael in there?

I don't think so.

You see, we create these demons because we are these demons.

Welcome to the family.

Fucker!

Laugh.

What the fuck?

He's a clown.

Laugh.

What are you laughing at?

You think that's funny?

I'll show you funny!

I'll show you funny.

Gotcha.

Stop it!

I still have the precious soul.

I can live.

"Finnerdig"!

Your name is "Finnerdig."

No.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall--

No!

No!

Trial by combat.

Oh, anything but that.

I mean, come on.

I present to you your challenger, next in line

for your job.

What?

Skid Mark?

Have you-- you've got to be kidding me.

Yep, it's me.

Put up your dukes.

I want your job.

You got to be joking.

Fight!

I'm going to kill you!

You are a pathetic excuse for a demon.

Merely human.

Atomic wedgie!

That's got to hurt, huh?

Yeah.

Ooh.

Yeah!

I love you guys.

So what's your second trick, human?

Oh, it's a good one.

And you've got Batty to thank for it.

You.

It's you!

What are you talking about?

He was one of my victims.

I had him at a fwat party, but I don't remember what happened.

Oh, you had me, all right.

One bite, that's all it took.

Why didn't you just finish him off?

You should have killed him.

I don't know.

I passed out.

I slipped her a little something something.

You roofied me?

You rapist pig!

Batty, I love you.

When hell fweezes over.

No, when I win, the deal is, your ass is mine.

Oh, like hell it is.

I'm going to end you now, you puny human.

Not quite.

Remember what I said?

You got Batty to thank for this.

For what?

Her love bite, and my second trick.

Oh.

Oh.

He's infected.

Shit.

Check me out.

Not so puny now.

Hey, boss, here.

Huh?

Oh, a bag of tricks.

Yum.

Oh, you're mine, Killjoy.

Oh, yeah.

Go and help him, or we'll all be dust.

Crushing!

Die, Killjoy.

Ah, your ass is mine.

Oh!

Killjoy, here!

SKID MARK: What's this?

Oh, man.

SKID MARK:

Oh, yeah, yeah!

I have it!

I have the power!

The Malleus Buffoonum is mine!

She is ours!

I've had enough.

I've had enough.

ALL: Killjoy! Killjoy!

Killjoy!

Killjoy! Killjoy!

Killjoy!

Killjoy!

Killjoy! Killjoy!

KILLJOY: No, no-- ALL: Killjoy!

Killjoy! Killjoy!

Killjoy!

Killjoy!

Killjoy! Killjoy!

Whoa. Whoa.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hey!

Hey! Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

I'm not your hero.

I want to kill you all.

Who are these people?

It's your faithful "Circus" fan club.

What am I supposed to do?

They're your fans.

Rally them.

How am I going to do that?

Easy-- raise your gun in the air.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, shut up!

Shut up.

Shut up!

I guess this is supposed to be some kind

of an inspirational speech.

But you all are a bunch of morons.

I ain't no hero.

And I don't give a shit about any of you.

The Earth is doomed.

And it's all your fault.

Why do you want me?

Because you make us look sane.

ALL: Yeah.

That was a bit of a backhanded compliment, huh?

- Oh, yeah.

Whoa.

We're having a party.

How nice.

Now surrender and board my ship, or suffer the consequences.

I'll never board your ship.

I'd rather die first.

I don't want you dead.

I need you whole before I rip your soul out.

Come willingly, or I will destroy

everything that you love.

Playtime.

I don't think they're friendly.

You're going to have to kill me first.

Human shield!

Activate the control panel.

Wow, cool.

Isn't that cool?

I mean, that's, like, really fucking cool.

They're getting away!

Oh, right, right.

Blastoff!

WOMAN: 3, 2, 1, blastoff.

Ah.

We're coming for you, Batty.

Good, good, right into our hands.

Jezebel, you can fire at will.

Abso-fucking-lutely.

Fire!

That was close, Captain.

Shields up.

We don't have shields.

Well, what the fuck do we have, a tortilla?

We have fields.

For fuck's sake, fields up!

Fire!

Field still holding, sir.

Good.

Now all we have to do is find that thing's weak spot

and disable it.

Aw, Punchy want to Punch.

Excellent.

Weapons online.

Let's give them what for.

Fire!

Yes, that's it.

Just keep wasting your energy.

No effect, Captain.

What are we tossing at 'em, cream pies?

All right, great, we'll do lasers.

Fire the lasers.

I think their lasers might penetrate.

JUDGE BEELZEBUB: Just keep firing.

But sir--

Just keep firing.

We're taking a lot of damage!

Field's almost gone!

We almost have them.

Keep firing.

Batty, I'm coming to get you.

No!

No!

No, take me!

Take me!

We have our enemy ship's engines targeted.

Good.

Fire!

Now, you're going to get your ass into this thing.

Let Batty go first.

Mortal flesh is so delicate.

Stop it.

Leave her alone!

You first.

No.

What if I don't want to?

Jezebel, activate the Cuisinart.

My pleasure.

Mortal.

Semi-mortal.

Semi what?

Semi moy-tal.

Batty.

Ready.

Fight!

Mortal Kombat!

Fight!

Whoa.

Mortal Kombat!

KILLJOY: Yeah!

BATTY BOOP: Suck it.

KILLJOY: That's my girl.

Suck on that!

Yeah, great balls of fire up your ass.

Yeah!

Aw, baby cakes.

I wasn't weak because of my wounds.

No?

Then what's wrong with you?

I'm pwegnant.

You're-- you're pregnant?

We created life.

Batty, you got to get back to the ship.

Jump through the magic mirror.

No!

I want to stay with you.

Stay with--

Think of the kid!

Why you--

Batty, you got to get out of here.

A clown with a small hammer.

Don't make me laugh.

Do you call this small?

You fool.

You have your hammer back, but I'm still an archdemon.

You little fool.

Fool.

Bozo.

Clown.

You can't hurt me with that thing.

Hit me with your best shot.

I intend to.

Oh, no!

I'm motherfucking Killjoy!

Yeah!

Uh-oh.

Uh-oh.

Oh, shit.

Master, no, just please stop.

Please--

Come on.

Come on.

Just go!

Oh, god, where's the key?

Yes!

Shnookums!

There's an energy buildup on the ..

We got to get out of here!

Listen--

Ah, get out of here!

We got to go to warp speed.

We have to go plaid, now.

WOMAN: Just wait a second.

KILLJOY: Wait?

MAN: We have no power.

Yeah, yeah, we're fucked.

Son of a bitch.

We're not going to make it.

WOMAN: Power back online.

Power's back online.

Something inside the access ramp is fixing the power lines.

Aha!

What? Huh?

What's going on?

What?

I missed you.

Aw.

I always liked you best.

We still won't make it.

We have to go to ludicrous speed, now.

Punch it!

MOLLY: So did you love it?

GORE COLLECTOR: Yes, is that-- that's the final surgery?

MOLLY: Oh, honey, he got away in the confusion.

But I know where to find him.

GORE COLLECTOR: But how?

MOLLY: The same way I found them here.

We're between worlds, Collector, between the membrane

of time itself.

And you want to know a secret?

We always have been.

You've been part of the in-between

from the very beginning--

the hospital, the islands, everywhere.

GORE COLLECTOR: Well, that can't be true.

MOLLY: Oh, it's true, all right.

Everywhere!

Even the Bunker of Blood, it's all part

of the in-between, all part of showing you who you really are.

And guess what?

It's time to go home.