Original subtitles

Dearest ladies and my most kind gentlemen, welcome to the fourth

annual Home and Hearth Goldenrod Awards.

The Home and Hearth Society

is dedicated to the contentment and satisfaction of man.

Join yourselves.

Did you enjoy the banquet?

I didn't especially enjoy the hollandaise sauce on the asparagus.

As you know, it takes a lot of planning and a great deal of hard work to bring

you such a gala event.

And I can safely tell you...

that this year will be the absolute best.

I'm sure you all anxiously awaiting to award to those members of our society

who have shown themselves to be of outstanding merit, achievement, and

quality.

So, without any further ado, I would like to introduce to you our

master of ceremonies.

A person whom you all know and love, as I do.

And who, I might add, is one of our best clients.

And he tips well, too, thanks to the oven. We all know that, don't we, girls?

We love and welcome our master of ceremonies, Mr.

Jack.

it is indeed an honor to come here it's nice to have you come jack quite

quite frankly it's no honor to me ladies

and gentlemen ladies and gentlemen let's move on to our awards our first

presentation is the society's achievement award for the most promising

newcomer now i want to tell you This year's selection wasn't easy.

Well, we stayed up all night night after night fingering, uh, fingering the

nominees. And the winner is...

to be giving you this award.

Now, our selection committee took some candid shots of Lori and one of her

clients.

So this is why Lori was this year's winner.

Roll that projector.

Give you this award congratulations

for keeping my sheets down so white and fluffy.

And most of all, I want to thank Johnny Walker.

He played doctor with me when I was six years old.

I'd be your patient any time.

Okay. May I have your attention again, please?

I'd like to move on to our next wonderful, fantastic Goldenrod winner.

Now, the nominees for Outstanding Value and Artistic Merit are

Sally Camille,

Harry Lovetta,

Folks, we all love Sally now, don't we?

And we all love Terry, too, right? And maybe next year she'd be our winner.

Yeah, not with her, she won't. Well, now, come on, now, folks, folks.

Let's see why Sally Camille is this year's winner.

Lights.

Projector.

Oh, boy, I love this one. Good.

I heard she's better than Linda Lovelace.

Linda Lovelace.

What do you mean all three part?

She can take all four.

What's the four?

Lose your imagination.

Bring up the lights, please.

It gives me great pleasure to give you this award for your outstanding value

and your artistic merit.

The Cocksucker of the Year Award!

I want you all to

know that I deserve this award because I'm very good at what I do.

to thank but myself and i want you all to know that i think it's wonderful that

we're finally getting as the recognition that we deserve as the true artist that

we really are

Each year, we have a special award for outstanding courage and devotion to

duty.

Now, some of us can do more than the others.

This year's winner can do more than all of us.

Gerda Savalas!

Now, when you see this film, you're going to realize why Gerda Savalas won

this award.

Lights, roll the projector.

Hang in there, Gerda.

Why don't you quit?

Oh, I didn't get out of show business.

You deserve this award.

Oh, thank you all very much.

I'd like you all to know that what I do, I do because I like to do it. And if

you like to do it, then we should do it.

a big hand for all our winners.

Now, everyone, with your permission, we'll move on to the, uh, how should I

say, the meat of the matter.

The big part is just gonna come up.

Now, I'd like to bring back our president so that she can put a little

oomph to the matter.

Jeannie?

Every year at this time, we pick the most important of all our winners.

This important award is the Goldenrod mascot.

This is our society's highest award, and certainly its most demanding.

Tonight... We have two very beautiful young men competing for this year's

honor. They've been picked by our selection committee from over 2,000

applicants. John and Rick, stand up, please.

Last year, young Harry Williams, 22 years old and

beautiful,

won the award.

I want you all to know that Harry had an encounter five times a day with our

members without one day off for the past 12 months.

I would like to take this opportunity to pay tribute to Harry Williams, who has

given us all so much pleasure during the past year.

Harry.

Harry.

Harry.

Thank you.

Although we are a service organization dedicated to the satisfaction of man,

I ask you, where is the female satisfaction?

You get it, Mama. We need sexual satisfaction.

Money isn't everything.

And although there is a certain amount of pleasure to be derived from making

others happy, who makes us sexually happy?

Who makes Terry happy?

Gerta and Sally and Lori, who makes you sexually happy?

I do.

You!

And you and you and heck, what about me?

Heck, I haven't since...

Thank you, Harry.

We need good lovers!

As you know, the rules are very simple.

You two will both be given sealed envelopes.

In the envelopes, you will find the address of your newest encounter.

Now, at this encounter, you will be asked to do crazy or kinky demands upon

you, and you must fulfill them.

Now, at this encounter, you will also be given another sealed envelope.

inside of which has the address of your next encounter and so on and so on

through the night.

The first one back will be the winner.

Agreed? Agreed. Fair enough.

The envelope, please.

John, this is for you.

Smells good, John.

And...

It's not bad either. There you go, pal. Good luck to you.

And both of you have a pleasant evening.

All

right,

now, ladies and gentlemen, ladies and gentlemen, just relax now. The fun has

just begun.

My dear.

Now ladies and gentlemen, this is

going to be a very, very interesting evening.

At least the traffic's not too heavy at night.

Come on in, baby.

Most honored traveler, please come in and partake of my most wonderful

delights.

Please,

it is most honorable custom to remove shoes before entering.

Anything else? Just the shoes. No, that's fine.

Tea?

No, thank you. And since time is of the essence, what do you wish me to do?

To please me.

Get out of those clothes and come back

over here.

I've come three times already.

And you've got to make me come three times more.

Thank you.

Let's watch John.

I wonder what he's doing.

I will make you very happy.

I am very practiced.

Watch.

Just one more.

Come on, baby. Come on.

Come on.

Yeah,

come on.

That's right.

Is that the right spot?

That's right. Come on.

That's so cool.

No facer, no move. Blue stain, no move.

You have made me very happy. Thank you for the honor.

You've made me very happy.

But I've got to get out of here. I've got to get over to the next one, okay?

It's me who came to see you. What do you want with my mother?

Come on. We're going to have a lot of fun.

You know, I've always wanted a big dolly and I bet you've got a big dolly.

We're going to play a lot of games. We're going to play hide-and-seek and

kiss-and-hug, and you have to do whatever I say.

Yeah, I know.

Hey, darling.

You're the one.

I want you.

You're going to want me, too.

What are you waiting for? Come on.

It reminds me of myself when I was just a young lass.

No. I will not suck your sucker.

Then you lose the contest.

Well, I don't care.

Well...

Then

kiss my breasts.

Here.

Now the other.

Now

kiss

my leg.

Right here.

Okay. Now, now kiss my thing.

Oh, no, not like that.

Oh, all right.

But I get to play with your dolly now.

Ouch! Hey, don't do that. That hurts.

I won't hurt you.

Give me a kiss on the lips.

Be careful.

That's nice.

That's right. Lick me.

You have a pretty dolly.

I knew you would.

You're as sweet as mom's apple pie, sweetheart.

It is a pretty dolly.

It

is

big.

Why don't you think you can be our mascot?

What do you know about sex?

What do you know about women? All you know is your filthy cock.

Oh, you worthless fool!

I'm gonna teach you something.

You filthy man-pig.

Now you're gonna learn to do a few things for me. Suck my breast.

Good God.

Do it faster.

Do it harder. Don't you know how to do this?

Do it faster.

Oh, God.

Don't you know how to do anything?

Here. Kiss my foot.

Come on.

That's not right. Kiss it right. Don't you know how to do anything?

What kind of a mascot are you? Lick it.

Come on, lick it.

That's not right. Lick it.

A nice, big lick.

Love it. Lick it like you love it. Come on, lick it.

Lick it, you worm.

Lick it, lick it, lick it, lick it.

Come on, come on. Oh, not good enough to lick the toe of my shoe.

Eat my couch.

Do you want it?

Do you want it?

Well, let's hear it. Say it, stupid.

Yes.

Say it louder.

Yes. Louder!

Yes. All right, then. Do it, you damn it!

Don't you know anything?

Oh, God!

You weren't even doing that in the right place!

Goodness! Here!

See what you have there anyway.

Oh, that's disgusting.

Get it hard.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

God, you're tight, sweetheart.

Oh, you're a virgin, little boy.

Oh, it just feels vile.

Oh,

it's just disgusting.

Oh,

can't you do any better?

you know

Oh, come on.

Oh, thank you so much. I've got a surprise for you. What?

Your next envelope.

Oh, great.

That wasn't bad.

Want to do it again?

You're fogging up my glasses.

Would someone please switch the monitor, please? I will.

Wow.

Oh, my, my, my.

What have they done to you, you poor thing?

Oh, but you're a mess.

You know, I've always wanted to meet a beautiful, young,

gorgeous...

Fantastic. A little chicky like you.

Oh, you're beautiful.

Let me help you up.

Come on. I know just what you need. First a drink,

and then some wonderful lovemaking.

Oh, you know...

I just can't believe that this is happening to me.

I mean, you're so beautiful, but as tired as I am, I think I could make

love to you all night long.

I hope so.

I certainly hope so.

Take it off

I'm yours.

Hi. Me too.

Oh.

Okay.

You think he's pretty good, don't you? I don't see him even when I'm cooking.

You just sit there and watch for a while, Johnny.

If you insist.

But not for long.

Because you get booked with us after a while.

Oh, God.

Hey, sweetheart.

Where in the world did you find your friend?

Not my friend.

Listen, I... Miss Marty and I used to be in the insurance before. I've seen what

you're in now.

Yeah, I'm into it all the time. Wait a minute. You know, it would be all right

if... Hey, what are your layoffs? They cry.

So, do you think he's... God.

We could really... Jesus Christ. Hey, don't cut out.

Wasn't something I said?

Stay with me

What is it?

Let's have some of your big, giant cock.

Oh, God.

I'm sorry.

Pain.

um um

You're a pretty man.

I want to kill her.

I want to kill her.

I'm going to stun the fox.

Mmm.

Sigh.

What's the matter?

Don't you want me to stay or at least come back after the awards?

Look at it, Rick.

You're really a nice guy. But I'm very busy.

Don't worry, I'll see you again.

But what about all those things you told me?

About love and... Oh, that.

That was just part of the test.

See you again sometime.

Okay.

Ladies, ladies, ladies and gentlemen.

Please, they will be here in a moment.

We must collect our decorum and meet them with dignity.

It's so beautiful.