Original subtitles

Do you know where Mommy's going today?

- Look at the camera. - Taking a train.

- What happened the last time? - You had diarrhea.

- We have a problem. - What?

I just sharted.

I'm not kidding, I went to fart,

- and it was wet and juicy. - Um.

My first challenge really, it really humbled me

and I made some mistakes.

I don't know. Hell, no, don't wash out in the waterhole.

- It's like a teeny bit. - No!

- It's fine. - It is not fine.

We boil the water anyways, it's fine.

She just put it in our water source.

Disgusting.

I need a little redemption.

I'm doing it again.

Like there must be something wrong with me.

I'm about to take my clothes off

and live out here for 21 days.

90% of the last challenge I did in Arizona was amazing.

That feels good.

We killed a snake.

But no one's ever talked about that.

Everyone just remembers that I sharted on national TV.

I was crazy embarrassed.

I got a lot of negative comments on the internet

that kind of created this spark in me

that I needed to try again.

A huge driving force behind doing this again

is I know my kiddos are watching.

I want to show them that even if you're super-embarrassed

or you do something you're not very proud of,

dust it off, try again, keep going

because that's life.

So I'm just really excited for them to watch me try this time

and finish the full 21 days.

If I have another sharting incident,

you can bet I will do it in private.

I guess this is it.

My gosh.

My gosh. I can't believe I'm doing this again.

I'm nervous to meet my next partner,

'cause nothing humbles you more

than seeing how you act when you're at your worst.

Okay, this is it I guess.

I mean, the sharting incident,

I know I won't make that mistake again, obviously,

but I'm probably gonna make another one.

And so if I could get someone knowledgeable, kind, patient,

that would be my dream partner.

But I've seen this show

and I know what kind of cards you can get dealt,

so that makes me really nervous.

- Hey, naked person. - Hey, I'm Andi.

- Ashley. Nice to meet you. - Ashley, good to meet you.

- Want a hug? - Come on.

Awesome.

- Good to meet you. - Good to meet you.

- Where are you from? - Originally, Arizona,

but I live in North Carolina right now.

Okay. I'm from the Northwest.

Nice. I love that area.

Yeah. You done anything like this before?

I've never done anything like this. You?

Actually this is my second challenge.

I did a fan challenge.

- What's your name again? - Ashley.

You know, honestly, I saw my partner in a fan challenge.

You know, she's the shart girl.

Um, so, honest, I don't wanna have

the preconceived notions because I'm different,

you know, and we all make mistakes.

I grew up conservative Christian.

Have a troubled child, but you know, my mom tried

to do everything she could to make sure

I grew up to be a good young man.

You know, going through the army,

I was airborne infantry soldier.

I was not really a model soldier.

I was a little bit hippie, a little bit gypsy,

a little bit dirty biker.

I kind of felt like an outcast and I started, you know,

seeking somewhere that I just fit in.

I was a cattle rancher, and then I went from cowboy

into being a white water raft guide.

And from raft guiding I became a sailing captain.

And from there I went to being a wild firefighter,

a firefighter EMT.

You know, in a lot of ways, I feel like I'm still searching

for that place where I fit in.

I think that's a big part of why I want to do this challenge.

I'm gonna make it to the end. Can you go there with me?

I'm ready. Let's go all the way.

- Twenty-one days. Kill it. - Yeah.

- You wanna check out our bag? - Yes.

Andi seems great. He seems totally supportive,

so I'm really excited.

Andi and Ashley are each allowed one survival item.

- I've got a fire starter. - Good deal.

So I've got my bushcraft parang here.

And they're also given a pot for boiling water.

All right, so, we have our map.

So, I guess we're here, extraction's there.

- Gonna go down the river. - Yeah.

I think we wanna get towards all that bamboo

so we can set up shelter around there.

Sounds like a great idea.

- Let's head that way. - All right.

- Ready? - Ready, go!

Yeah, go team.

Ho-ho.

Here we go.

- Going in. - I guess we're going in.

Andi and Ashley enter the dense jungles of Tobago,

a Caribbean island nation

where swarms of blood-sucking mosquitos fill the air

and armies of black engine ants scour the jungle floor.

Powerful monsoons ravage the island,

causing flash floods and deadly river surges.

And wild temperature swings

turn sweltering days into brutally frigid nights.

All right. Ooh, man, this is straight-up ugly.

I think it's safe to say no one's walked this path before.

You know what, it's interesting, you know,

I've definitely gone on some wayward paths in my life.

Andi has extensive experience

in a wide range of environments,

but this is his first time trying to survive

in a jungle setting.

He begins with a PSR of 6.6.

I definitely feel more confident this time.

That's good.

I learned snares and traps since my last challenge.

- Nice. - I'm ready.

Despite her lapse of judgement,

Ashley showed great tenacity and resolve

in successfully completing the 14-day fan challenge.

Her primitive survival rating starts where she left off at 5.5.

You know, my biggest thought as we're walking through here

is, like, everything's wet.

Nothing dries out here.

The jungle's really buggy and wet.

I mean, you're swimming through the jungle.

It's kind of crazy. It's a little overwhelming.

And so I'm nervous about fire.

My biggest thought is while we're in here,

if you see anything super dry for tinder,

grab it before it even touches the ground.

Yeah, that's a good observation right there.

Getting a fire.

- That might be one of our hardest challenges out here. - That's for sure.

Hey, hey, hey! Look at that.

- There's a spring, right there. - What?

I would definitely feel confident with this

- 'cause it's not a river. - Yeah, it's coming out of the ground.

I mean, it's coming off the mountain.

We all know that don't drink the river water, you'll get sick.

So, thank the gods for that spring.

- Yeah. - Here you go. Here's the pot.

I'm gonna boil everything.

I don't want to take any chances.

Okay, good to know.

From past sharting experience,

I definitely wouldn't have put any of that water

from the natural spring into my mouth.

I mean, many people have gotten sick from water on these challenges.

And so I'm gonna boil everything I find out here,

no matter where I find it.

You can give it a try,

and if you don't get sick, I'll try. -I know.

My mom's, like, "Don't drink anything that's not boiled!"

You know, even though we know the water's safe to drink,

my partner doesn't feel comfortable drinking that water.

So I would like to boil it just for her.

You know, we're both in this together.

But everything's so wet,

I don't know if we'll have a fire on day one.

Looking for that perfect shelter spot.

- I wanna hear the river a little, maybe. - Yes.

Dude, we've got the water there, you mean.

It's definitely a bit of a scramble to getting up and down there.

I wish we had, like, five more hours

to search around for something.

We're not gonna have

- the perfect dream shelter tonight. - Yep.

But we do need to, like, get something that

we have some form of comfort and security.

Um... It's flat in there.

Yeah, this looks pretty good.

There's a mat we can put things along.

What do you wanna do first?

Get something so we're actually not right on the ground,

it may not be elevated,

but get off the ground, you know,

something that gets us some shelter.

I can start hacking some bamboo down.

Do you want to start gathering some materials for a fire?

It may be wet,

- but at least try get something drying. - Yep.

Okay.

Timber!

I'm looking for a bird's nest.

I'm looking for anything dry

so that I can make a little tinder bundle.

That even this, it looks dry, but it is...

You could feel it's just damp.

All right.

So my vision, I don't know what you're thinking, but, um,

I think we should do the mat, the floor first.

We could just take a bunch and lay 'em here,

kind of make like a raft almost that we're gonna sleep on.

And then if we get that done, we could do some this way.

- A lean-to, yeah. - What do you think?

Well, we've got I'd say back in there,

- a lot of big banana leaves in there. - Yep.

Of course, there's rain.

We're trying to build a little shelter right here. We've got somewhat of a bed.

We're gonna get some banana leaves,

somewhat of a lean-to.

Hopefully we gonna see if we can get a fire,

but it is so wet out here.

It's kind of mind blowing how many more mosquitoes

came out in the last 20, 30 minutes.

They're, like, big too.

You mother chucker!

I think it's gonna be critically important

that we get that shelter up.

It's a rainforest. It's the rainy season.

I hear the thunder coming through right now,

so I don't know how much time we have.

- All right, so we've got our shelter-ish. - Ish.

It's obviously just day one.

It's gonna keep us dry, which is important.

I'm really hoping I can have a fire tonight

so that we can keep bugs away,

'cause I can barely even stand it.

Come on, bugs,

get out of my vagina.

I've never been in bugs this bad ever.

Look at that. See that. Look at that. Look at that.

We had a good flame

but this stuff just doesn't wanna burn.

Honestly, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the no fire.

I've never spent a night out in the woods

without a fire before,

so I don't know how this is gonna be.

I don't know what's gonna happen.

I may go try find a bunch more like this.

- Yes. - Okay.

I'm gonna gather firewood.

Assuming he gets a fire started.

He will.

My whole body's on fire.

It's hard to move.

I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing.

It bit me, like, five times.

Are you okay?

Are you all right?

- Just a bite? - I don't know.

It was there, there, there, there.

Yes.

It seems like she's in a lot of pain.

I mean, my heart is hurting for her.

It's gonna be a long 21 days.

God.

My toes are throbbing.

The black engine ants are out here,

and they're vicious. It's kind of like a bee sting.

God.

You kind of forget how hard this is.

But now that I'm in it,

I'm gonna push through. I'll be okay.

- I've gotta get to work. - She's working it.

Ooh, but I'm definitely feeling the effects of the jungle.

The priority's to get that fire going

because the bugs are bad.

The mosquitoes came up fast.

I've gotten bit, like, 50 times.

The fire it's gonna make smoke

and it's gonna keep those insects away.

So I really, that's kind of my next thing right now to do.

Come on, baby.

Come on.

Just wishing there's a fire. I'll make fire.

Man.

Whatever we put on it is always wet. It never catches.

My God.

So we're getting kind of overwhelmed

because the sun is going down,

and that means a fireless night.

And that means a lot of bugs.

And for me, no water.

It was a rough night.

Our vision is, you know, to get that shelter improved,

and we're gonna get some fire going.

That's the vision for today.

I say we get this A-frame up

if we can keep this together.

So, I wanna transform our lean-to

more into an A-frame,

so we can have an awning for when it rains.

There, it's raised up.

It matched up to that side pretty good.

First win of the day.

We need to fill this in here,

so we have a little awning, a little A-frame.

We're gonna wall this side in.

I think I might go get a drink of water.

I'm feeling pretty dehydrated.

I haven't had any water in 24 hours.

Andi drank out of the spring a lot yesterday.

It's probably been 12 hours, and he's feeling okay.

Okay, that's good for now.

Right now we have to drink it. We don't really have a choice.

We haven't been able to get a fire going

to boil some water, so...

risk versus reward.

We'll see if it was worth it.

It tastes really good.

All right, this project is done. Done-ish.

Good job.

We've got a pretty good shelter,

but right now I think one of our biggest priorities

is getting that fire going.

I'm gonna try some of this bamboo,

'cause this seems like it actually wants to burn.

Yep, whatever you've gotta do,

- let's try it. - Whatever we've got to do.

All right, get the wet stuff off.

Obviously, nothing's dry out here,

but there is a lot of downed bamboo,

which, you know, has that kind of a protective coating,

which kind of keeps the moisture out of it.

I'm gonna make some shavings.

You know, fire's a huge psychological thing, you know.

Flame, flame. Flame, baby, flame.

What do we have?

We have a little bit of a fire going here if we can keep it going.

Do you wanna do me a favor, and just grab some of that crappy wood over there.

- This? - Yes, yes, yes. Thank you, perfect.

There's also that big chunk of solid wood.

- Do you need that? - Yes. Good job.

Thank you. This is great.

- We've got fire. - We've got a fire!

Awesome! We've got fire.

My gosh.

Suddenly the pieces just come together.

We have water. I have no nausea,

no anything in my tummy going on,

and we have a flame. We are ecstatic.

It's so awesome. It's a great morale booster.

- We're doing a great job together. - Yeah.

This shelter is both of you and me together.

We're a good team, sure.

Yeah, I suppose.

It's, like, can you imagine

if I walked up to you at the introductions

and said, "My God, it's Shartgirl."

-No. -Thanks for holding back.

I was, like, you know what, she's gotta stay here

because she knows if she leaves early she'll be forever Shartgirl.

Ashley, you know, she's doing really good.

She's got a great attitude.

After her last challenge, she felt misunderstood

And I can certainly relate to that.

I'm really thankful that she's here.

I'm thankful she's my partner.

That was, I mean, that was my episode, okay?

Yeah.

No. No.

Man, it sucks.

Our fire is soaked.

Can you see, it's got a little water inside our shelter?

It's crazy.

- We got some holes. - We have work to do.

We had a lot of leaks last night from the rain,

and we lost all the coals within a few minutes.

It was just a water bed.

There's a little bit of warmth in there,

but there's no coals. It's just nothing.

That was really frustrating,

so we are going to work on the shelter.

I really want to patch a few holes, especially over the fire

so that we don't have to worry about our fire getting wet next time we start it.

- If we did leaves... - I'm really not digging the leaves.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

All torn up, so it's hard to get good coverage.

I'm thinking of bamboo is, like, solid.

I really think that we really need to reinforce the shelter.

Not so much with the leaves,

but with, you know, more bamboo up there.

So, something that's gonna

be more of a permanent shelter versus an emergency shelter.

If you want, we can make this side roof bamboo,

but I think it's ambitious to do both sides

especially since this side did pretty well.

I thought we just needed to patch a few holes.

He saw the water last night as we need a whole new roof,

which I love the idea,

I just wish we would have done it on day one,

because I'm feeling kind of depleted of energy

and I'm trying to be smart with my energy.

- Let's focus on this side. - I still see a big hole over your head.

I'm gonna... That's what I'm doing right now.

I'm trying to get this back up so I can rebuild that wall.

And then I'm gonna lay more up here.

Instead of like tearing the shelter down and redoing it,

she want to not start off on day zero.

And I get that.

So, I'm just trying to hear her plans,

listen to her plans, and find that compromise.

We're just trying to get obviously a good solid roof

that's gonna last.

Um, yeah, obviously the rain it hits here, goes down,

runs down that way, down to the river.

We signed up for this for fun. Isn't that crazy?

Are we having fun yet?

I mean, not really.

But it's fun when you're done.

Well, look, we made some really good improvements on our shelter today.

We kept the original leaf lean-to

that we built on day one.

Ashley fortified it,

and on the other side we put a full wall,

all bamboo interlocked together.

- We can move in. - Yeah.

Now we need a fire.

That's the hard part.

That is the hard part.

Obviously we've got all this downed bamboo here,

which probably would sit here, right?

It does burn actually.

Once you get a fire going, we know it burns.

- It just doesn't last. - Yeah.

Trying to get some hardwoods to actually burn

so we can get some coals, so we can keep this fire going.

All right, firewood.

- Let's try to get it right before nightfall. - Yep.

That is kinda dry.

We had a good fire last night.

So now we can understand how much wood we need,

um, the type of wood we need.

And, you know, we have to mix that bamboo with the hardwood,

because the bamboo just goes up fast.

So, you know, we're getting dialed in, you know.

This is a good one.

It's definitely a full-time job, I mean.

Mind you, we haven't eaten much

so we're trying to pace ourselves,

but we've still gotta work for it.

All right, gotta go to the river.

We have a spot for firewood to dry.

We know the rain's coming again,

so kinda wanna start putting some of this firewood

underneath, like, there.

We know we can make it 21 days without fire,

but it's gonna be rough, and especially rough for my partner,

so I definitely worry about her.

We all know that most of the challenges

between our ears out here,

you know, you gotta hold fast. Just hold fast.

Slow, steady pace.

Look at there. Look over right there.

A possum.

I'm looking for firewood,

and all of a sudden, right there it is.

A banana tree with bananas.

That's awesome.

Right there.

That's right, banana.

Ashley!

- Banana! - What?

I see Andi walking over,

and he has his hand up with something really big.

Hell, yeah!

He has this huge stalk of bananas.

Hah!

You're my hero!

My gosh. My gosh. Let's have one right now.

- Here, have that one right there. - Yeah.

First bite.

Whoa!

My gosh.

Isn't that, like, the best banana you've ever had?

I hate bananas, but right now, I love these.

These really are some of the most tasty bananas

we've ever had.

They're a little bit smaller,

but they're super-sweet and tasty, and they're just so good.

Winner, winner, banana dinner.

You're my favorite person in the whole world.

I feel really happy that Andi is my partner.

Sitting down, having a little feast of banana.

This is so amazing.

So amazing.

I feel like you kind of become, like, good friends.

With how hard it is out here,

I can't imagine not getting along with my partner.

I just hit the jackpot.

This is like the most amazing blessing ever.

We've got some food. We've got a pretty good shelter.

Now let's try to get a fire going.

Light the fire then we get all our materials laid out this time.

We've got some small sticks, some bigger sticks,

some light we call it bamboo paper.

We're gonna put some bamboo shavings,

and then we're gonna get this fire rolling.

- Okay, come on, baby. - You're gonna get it.

Negative.

It's like it just absorbs the moisture here so fast

that I get a little ember going,

and it just dies.

Nothing's catching, so it's pretty discouraging.

I wish fire was easier out here.

It would be so nice to have a fire every night.

Come on, Andi, the kill me.

Last night was rough for this girl.

You can see my back.

We don't have fire. We don't have bug net.

We're just free eating range

all night long.

The bugs really damper your sleeping.

But it's also getting chillier at night.

I find myself shivering quite a bit.

And I don't know when we're gonna be able to get a fire.

I mean we've had one success

out of 20 tries.

So, I need to put some

big energy into closing the shelter up.

So, my goal is to cover with leaves till here...

and then make a, a door we can move,

and put back on.

How many bug bites will this job take?

That is the question.

We're on two.

It is hot in the sun.

I'm really worried about Ashley.

'Cause she struggles so much at night.

So, today, my only priority is fire.

We just gotta figure out this fire thing,

if there's no fire...

I don't think Ashley will be here much longer.

Fortunately, right now, it's not raining, the sun's out.

And I wanna take advantage of it.

So, I come down to the river

in the sun where things are drier, and hotter.

And try to dry out

a huge amount of wood.

All right...

Let that sit in the sun.

Really focusing on harvesting good materials.

Gather materials that are super dry, exposed to the sun.

Bamboo husk here.

Put 'em in the sun.

Got about three hours till that sun goes behind those trees

and darkens this area.

So...

we'll leave the fire stuff down here for right now,

Gonna run up to camp, we'll drink some water.

Check on my bush wife.

I'm almost done with my door.

So, I'm hoping no mosquitoes...

come in, and then it'll also give you a little reprieve

or somewhere to lay down during the day.

Door on!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Let's see this magic.

I am gonna add one little piece like that.

I think Ashley's door is great.

You know, she put a lot of thought and time into it,

so, I think she did a good job on it.

My only concern is if we don't have a fire,

the cold is still a problem.

It'll be another rough night for Ashley.

Two hours till sunset.

Time to make some fire.

So, right now I'm working with stuff

that's been out in the sun,

and just stacking it up right now,

and, hopefully, it's dried out so we can finally get that fire going.

If we don't have a fire tonight,

I don't know if she'll make it tomorrow.

No pressure on me.

See? Look at that.

Kumbaya!

Come on, baby.

Come on.

Come on.

All that magnesium, do you see all those sparks?

Bye-bye, bugs.

Looks so good, looks so promise...

It looks so good and so promising.

- Yeah. - And just, it's still...

I don't even wanna get excited.

- I know. I've been here before. - Yeah.

Damn it.

Come on...

It's just too moist.

You know, trying to get that fire going.

And nothing is working out here.

What happened?

I'm just tired of stupid not working.

We had some brilliant attempts at fire last night,

and it just died.

And it's really discouraging.

You know, growing up,

I struggled with anger a lot.

And like everyone else in my family,

I turned to Christianity for answers.

And I tried that journey, walked that good walk,

but in the end, it never really stuck.

Now I'm a born-again Pagan.

Being in the woods, being out in nature,

this is my church, this is where I belong,

and then what I need to do to survive

is to live with this forest,

I wanna grow with this forest.

Open that third eye,

and just see what I can see.

Beyond my own eyes.

I'm just connecting to the...

my birth today.

There's already so much anger in this world.

Help me to rise above this.

Help me to find true understanding.

Even though we're frustrated,

I think we're just gonna have to keep trying it every day.

And then once we get fire,

I think a fish basket would be our best source of protein.

I feel like it looks like what it's supposed to look like.

I've been working on the fish basket,

and the fingers in the back are talking,

but I know it's gonna be worth it.

I gotta do...

the cone part.

Where the critters crawl in.

And then they can't get back out.

Starting a fire out here is about persistence.

Much like this challenge.

And I'm not gonna let Ashley down.

There's a hearty piece indeed.

You know what? I'm gonna pull it over towards this rocky spot.

Wait.

What have we got on this thing?

Look at that.

That almost looks like fat wood.

So, fat wood is resinous wood.

That's where, turpentine comes from.

It's an accelerant for making fires.

I've walked past that log 100 time out here.

I guess my eyes are opening up a little more.

Starting to learn a little bit more about our jungle here.

There's always so much more to see than what I'm seeing.

Might be a game changer.

If I start breaking off some sticks.

And then, I'm starting to get the smaller shavings.

Nice. We're feeling good.

With a nice cache of fire tender that's been out in the sun

and the fat wood shavings,

it's no excuse to not have a fire.

Ooh-ya-ya. Ooh-ya-ya.

Fire.

Fire, ooh.

Fire Bear, "Ooh, fire good."

Whoa! Yay!

You're my hero!

Just watch your bum.

Fire is a game changer.

I'm really proud of Andi.

He's been working at it all day.

I guess it's just finding that perfect storm of materials

that are gonna light up.

- Is that rain? - Yep.

My gosh.

It's gonna be fine.

It's actually going good and it feels really solid, you know.

It feels so good to have a really good fire.

We're mostly dry, and we got fire.

- It's like, you know, our own little world out here. - Yeah.

I finally found a place where I don't hear cars.

- Yeah, no phones. - No phones. No TV.

No... No hate.

- You know, there's a lot of angry voices out there. - Yep.

It's awesome.

So, we have a beautiful coal bed right there. That's...

really cool.

So, a fish basket is our next priority, I guess.

We just need to find some more cordage.

I think we've figured out fire.

I think if we got protein today we could cook it.

So, I'm feeling protein, protein, protein.

What is it?

- What do you see? - It's a crab. Go and get it.

It's a big one.

Let's have lunch.

Good job, girl.

Got it.

Got it.

- Bam chicka wow wow! - Hey...

we got fire.

- Let's go cook this guy right now. - Yeah, I'm hungry. Let's go.

It does smell wicked good.

Let me smell.

That smells like a crab restaurant.

That is so...

This crab is amazing.

It was cooked to absolute perfection.

So, getting this bit of protein in us is just a huge win.

It's good for our heart and soul right now and...

Yeah.

Done.

Killing it, literally, and eating it.

I'm gonna go down and check the, crab,

well, right by the,

what we call the "water fountain," down by the spring.

Yeah, one we haven't seen before, so hopeful.

Last night was a good night.

We, We had fire throughout the night.

We had rain throughout the night also.

And for the most part we were relatively dry.

Look at this, it's so heavy water through here.

There were, like, rapids shooting through here last night.

Our walking trail.

Feel like there's a saying called the storm provides.

And so I think that when it gets all rainy,

especially the crabs and stuff, they come out.

Yeah, definitely. But see if there's anything else

scurrying around here looking for a meal.

I got you.

Andi

Take your time.

I'm scared to get up.

It's all right.

Wanna grab my arm?

Here you go.

I said, "Don't... Don't rush." You don't have to jump up, okay?

Let's go back and I can lay down.

Okay.

All right, supposed to be this hill right behind you.

Okay.

- -It's okay. - Look for the stick.

Our walking path has steep little hills on it,

and after it rains, it just becomes a slip and slide.

My foot just gave out from underneath me,

and I take a fall.

Let's go.

It is a wild, dangerous country.

It does not take much to take you out out here.

God, where's your stick?

I'm not worried bout my stick.

I'm worried about you.

Grab onto my arm like a good bush husband.

Just a home bush wife.

- Yeah. - Come on.

This is like us growing old in the jungle.

- Okay, I got you. - Jesus.

God.

I think I need to call the medic.

Let me have a look.

That... Yeah, that one.

And it's more on this right side,

- like, yeah, in there. - Right here.

After examining Ashley, her back seems to be in okay condition.

She does have some point tenderness on the lower spine.

But it's more muscular than skeletal.

She's cleared to continue the challenge.

My mental game is still there.

I still really want this.

My body feels...

a little different, and that's scaring me,

so I'm gonna try to work on my body tonight

and get it back to my head space.

Just gonna give it a few hours. - Okay.

Anything I can get you? A pillow? Bed?

- Some ibuprofen. - Some ibuprofen.

I'm trying not to even think about leaving.

It's not an option.

You know...

regret always lasts longer than pain.

I'm worried about my partner.

We're a tribe of two,

and we need each other to survive.

She's my people.

Ouch!

How you feeling today?

In between my back hurting and my right body going numb,

I think I got, like, 15 minutes total of sleep last night.

I've never had a back issue like this, never.

If I bend over for anything, get out of bed,

it's like a zing down my legs.

I'm afraid to walk around, walk down to the water.

I think I know what I have to do.

And I really don't wanna do it.

I know I have to take care of my body

'cause I have kids to take care of at home.

And my goals are not always what's best for our family.

Unfortunately, when you become a mom...

So, Ashley, I think our medic says you're medically cleared.

You're okay to stay.

But I just don't know how I can make it get better.

And so, I don't want it to get worse.

Think I'm gonna go and...

But I don't wanna go.

Have to go.

Yeah, I'm tapping out.

Okay.

I think if I go take care of it,

I think I can come home 90%,

versus take the risk of the next two days hurting it more.

And I just don't wanna do that.

Sorry. It's not how I saw it going.

And I've completed a 14-day challenge.

I wanted Day 21 so bad,

and it's definitely gonna be there for the rest of my life

that I set a goal and I didn't make it happen.

You're a great partner out here. Yeah?

I'm really proud of you.

It's really hard to do.

I don't ever quit anything.

- I love you. - A big hug. Brother and sister.

Take care, sweetie.

Bye, Ashley!

I hate to see her tap out.

But she has my blessing,

and I'll never think less of her because...

she's done a great job out here.

It just hurts my heart to see her hurt.

During Ashley's 10 days in Tobago

she lost 14 pounds.

Her Primitive Survival Rating drops to 4.7

My time with Ashley for the first half has been great and amazing.

But the hardest part,

now that she's gone, it's really all me.

I mean, it'll be a challenge.

To me, this is, like, more of a vision quest,

kind of a spiritual journey.

So I just need to keep an open mind and an open heart and open eyes

and, the jungle will show me what I need to see

when I need to see it.

One of my priorities is to get Ashley's fish basket in the water today.

I'm thinking that eddy over there's the spot,

where the water's swirling in there.

You know there's gonna be fish,

that's gonna be their... kind of their chill spot.

Taking the, the crab parts for, for bait.

The river here, it rises and changes quickly out here.

I'm just gonna tie this down so it doesn't wash away.

All right, you little fishies, you go in the trap now.

Were gonna go down and, check out the fish trap.

I'm just looking at the water. It's really picked up.

You know, it's gone up a foot. since this morning.

It seems to go up faster than it comes down, surprisingly.

I mean, I don't know what it's doing up...

further up in the high country,

could still be raining up there.

So, crossing it,

a little bit different game.

Halfway through the challenge, I feel like I still got so much to do.

But my calorie intake is very low

and protein intake is extremely low.

I did get Ashley's fish trap in the water yesterday,

so hopefully I'll be able to get something out of that.

Yeah, there's a fish in the fish trap.

Look, there he is.

Ain't much of a fish, but it's a fish.

So, hooray, protein.

Now I'm thinking, "All right, how long am I gonna prepare this fish?"

You know, I have no fire.

I think I'm just gonna eat it raw.

It actually has a spicy taste, like, it has a touch of...

like a touch of hot sauce in it.

A little zesty to it.

The eye has got sodium in it, you know, salt,

and that's something that your body really needs too.

And a little brain, that's got lots of nutrients in it too.

All right. This goes into the fish trap.

I'll put the fish trap back in the water.

I'm not trying to make a fire tonight

'cause I don't have anything to cook,

and I don't really wanna fight making a fire all night.

But, you know, throughout the night it gets a little chilly.

So, I know my body's gotta burn calories

to keep the body temperature up.

It's a hard bed so I toss and turn.

Tossing and turning ain't so bad when you're in the real world,

but you know, without no sleep it's super important.

It was incredibly uncomfortable last night,

just tossing and turning every, like, minute and a half.

You know, so I felt like I spent a lot of energy, a lot of calories.

So, you know, I still need to get some more protein.

I cannot believe how much this river's picked up.

And that river's probably got a lot of tributaries feeding into it,

and they're just pumping it up.

So, it's not just this one source.

It's 100 other little sources feeding into it also.

I wanna be able to get across, check on that fish trap again.

But who knows if I still have a fish basket in there.

So, you've gotta be really mindful and very careful out here

not to get yourself hurt.

Huzzah!

All right.

That was full-on exciting.

Damn it.

It was clearly tore out.

And I can't even see the lashing where it was lashed to that tree.

And this was a huge torrent

of water just flushing right through here.

Flushing through here.

There goes my best food source.

Really sucks.

The fish trap's washed away.

That's a huge crash and burn.

You know, losing Ashley's fish basket,

it's really kind of a setback.

But, you know,

having the, the floods come through and the high water,

you know, it brings a lot of new stuff down around the river.

So, I'd like to take advantage of this time over here

and just see what I can see out here.

This was all underwater yesterday.

Look at that.

So, actually, that is coconut.

Who knows where that washed down from,

but it's all emptied out.

I'd love to see some coconut out here.

But we don't have those kind of palms here.

I'm gonna go check on that banana tree.

I see some bananas.

And they're really green.

They're so green that I'm not even sure at this point I can eat them.

I don't know if they're necessarily what my body needs.

They feel good going in, but if they're, they're green,

it will constipate me.

I hope they can ripen up.

Definitely, I've noticed, you know, this morning

I feel like I'm getting a lot more head rushes when I get up, you know?

It's probably, you know, a little food intake, a little blood sugar.

So... What's this?

Check that out.

Guava.

I don't know how many times I've walked past this guy.

I'll have a handful of these guys.

They'll be nice and ripe. This guy's in pretty close.

That's awesome.

See the yummy goodness, right there.

I think when you go through stuff like this

with the right mindset, that there...

There's going to be a change. And...

Shedding the modern world, the comforts...

All that chaos. And, you know, hate and anger.

That's the change I'm trying to experience here.

Reevaluate who I am.

You know, who... What's important in life.

This is a rough, rough night last night.

I had one guava for dinner, and it just didn't sit well with me.

It's... Feels like it's still sitting somewhere in here.

So...

My body doesn't know what to do with all those seeds.

See how swampy it is around here?

Squish, squish, squish.

It's what I call "dog poop mud," 'cause when you step on it...

It just squeezes through your toes,

like you stepped on dog poop.

Yuck.

So, just looking at the river right now,

this is the highest I've seen it.

And can't step in to go up and down the river

to find other...

resources.

So there's definitely no going across the river today.

Shelter maintenance is...

a daily chore out here.

Somebody always gotta maintain.

Always a work in progress.

It's those moments I really wish I had a second person.

You know, honestly I wish that Ashley could be here with me.

I mean, I know I can survive without her, but...

What's your quality of life, you know? I mean, what's life worth without...

That partner? Without love, you know?

And...

That's been a big challenge for me in my life.

But you know...

It's all good. We're all good.

Ooh.

Digging for crab.

Digging for crab.

I need something. Just to, carry me through this.

No nothing.

I'm looking at this big tree stump,

thinking there's gotta be a snake in here, you know?

Our fish trap's washed away.

Thinking that some of the guavas have probably made me constipated.

I know I can't keep going on every night and day like this.

I was hoping to find some snakes or some lizards.

You know, something to give me some protein.

I don't feel like I have a whole lot of energy and strength to go

hunting right now.

You know, even though I feel weak and totally depleted,

you still gotta put the effort forward.

Otherwise, you won't make it.

I need something to change.

Let's see how the water level's doing.

It's definitely coming down.

This is good. 'Cause I wanna be able to get across and check on the bananas.

Haven't been down here in days.

My body is struggling.

With very little food.

You know, we got extreme pain in both my knees.

Pain in my lower back.

And... And pain in my head right now.

All right.

So you see the bananas are still beautiful and green.

But I don't know if I'm gonna have the energy

and the strength to come back down here.

And do this, so...

Yeah, what a heartbreaker.

We're just looking for some grubs. Looking for some protein.

For some worms. I mean, this is such rich...

soil, such rich mulch, really.

It's definitely survival food. It's not comfort food but...

I gotta do what I gotta do to make it the next couple days to get out of here.

There's a little worm.

You know what, it mostly tastes like soil, because, well, my hands are dirty.

It's tough right now.

Definitely in the battle.

Mentally and physically,

you know, Mother Nature, the goddess has... Has humbled me.

Ooh, head rush.

Ooh.

Kind of hit me against that wall.

Keep it together.

Keep it together...

The alone-ness has been rough.

I've kind of gotten more emotional, you know?

And...

I've realized that

this is about the longest time I haven't called my mom.

I definitely got a lot going through my head right now.

You know, I expected this to be a... A bit of a... A crucible.

But honestly,

- most of the fight is... - Is with myself.

You know, there's a lot of me that I have to let go.

But there's so much anger and hate.

There's something that I've kind of hidden from myself, from my family,

from my community.

Trying to understand how to communicate it.

I don't know understand why it's so difficult.

Maybe it's because I'm just worried I'm gonna...

hurt someone. Hurt my mom.

I spent most of my adult life being a conservative Christian.

I always figured, you know,

if you pray enough...

Fixes everything.

And I feel that hurt, and I feel that pain.

And... And the disappointment. So...

This is my opportunity to look deep inside me.

And...

Find that healing and...

You know?

You know, it's something I knew ever since I was in...

fourth grade.

I'm not ashamed of it.

It's just hard to say...

Being a... A bisexual male, you know.

You're not fully gay, you're not fully straight.

Why can't I be both?

So now, here I am.

Almost 50.

I wanna be a more authentic self.

So I guess that's why I had to come out here.

I'm happy to be who I am.

Still a warrior.

I know my heart is good.

Love is love, and...

Tired of the hate.

Love you, Mom.

A couple ants in here.

This one's a bonus streak 'cause he's got a larva with him.

You know, I always wondered... The calorie intake of an ant.

Some of them got a little extra zing,

especially when they bite your tongue.

You gotta be really quick and make sure you...

You chew them up before they chew you up.

Yeah, I feel about three bites in the top lip.

And, four bites in the bottom lip.

Can you see my lips got swollen?

It's way cheaper than Botox.

Getting these fat lips. They look beautiful.

It's really important to look good on extraction day, so...

Getting that puff... It's important.

So, the other day, kind of let some truth bombs go and...

I think one of the reasons why I have to say what I say is because...

somebody does need to hear it.

You know, growing up conservative Christian...

I've put myself in the closet

way too long, you know?

I'm part of the LGBQ+ family.

You know, if it's been suppressed and...

I don't think that's healthy. It's not genuine.

A lot of people might get offended or pissed off at me,

but if you can't be true to yourself, who can you be true to?

It's really awkward to...

have my conservative Christian family hear that.

But I feel so much freer now on this path.

Get a little bit of sun.

Feels like it's been a couple of days since I've... felt the sun on my body.

It's just been overcast and rainy.

Right there. Right there. Feel that? Ooh.

Impact, right there. The sun just hits me.

Just taps into me. I feel like... I'm just, like...

Getting a battery. Just charging up.

That feels good.

This is why I'm here.

It's to experience this, and...

Nature makes us who we are.

And you know what? This world's got no room for hate.

That's where, you know, ultimately, love wins.

This is a mission. My strength comes from love and unity.

Our strength comes through love and unity.

So as soon as we can start hearing each other's hearts and talking

and respecting each other,

sooner we all find that healing.

This is where our camp is.

Looking at the chart, looks like there's at least one pretty good-sized ridge here.

But extraction is down on the beach.

And also the river goes down to the beach. I know that's... A slow, arduous... trek.

So, keep the long way,

or the more direct route.

But could be just equally as arduous.

I've planned this extraction hike through the hills versus the river.

It's gonna be a direct line to the coast.

So hopefully, it'll be...

easier than following the river.

But I know I'm incredibly weak

from very low amount of food, and...

I haven't slept, really, like all of the past five days, so...

It's gonna be a... A rough trip.

Goodbye!

Here I go.

Watch out.

Looks like this is probably the best place. See, the coast is right that way.

I'm looking at this hill, and it's just steep,

and it's loose dirt and gravel.

I'm obviously naked and barefoot...

And weak, so...

One last big challenge, and...

This is actually quite, you know, symbolic of my... My life, you know.

It's definitely an energy burner.

This is like a 80% grade right here.

Looks like it's just starting to round up up there.

I'm so excited to see that little... round.

Doesn't mean we're out of the woods yet, but it's just...

It's always good to see that.

This seems like the highest point here. Look at this.

Looks like it's just straight downhill.

Somewhere on the other side of all this jungle, there's a beach.

And it's calling me.

Being out here has been truly amazing.

And I feel like I've grown so much.

Need a path, make a path.

You know, when I go back into the world, there's a lot of angry voices out there.

Because we fear what we don't understand.

And we hate what we fear.

So close.

Yeah.

For me, I am just...

excited to fully come out and be the man and the person

I was called to be on this challenge.

Nice. Beautiful. My God!

There's the ocean!

I made it!

It's so amazing!

Yeah!

Thank you, Tobago!

Thank you!

Hey!

What a beautiful boat.

I made it. Twenty-one days out here.

Mostly alone.

I'm really so incredibly thankful to be here

to experience the highs and the lows.

Yeah!

It's definitely been a magical experience out here.

Just a huge swell of emotion and joy.

Over the course of 21 days, Andi lost 27 pounds.

His PSR rises from 6.6 to 7.9.

Twenty-one days in Tobago!

I know that just because this journey ends,

that the journey of life and... And opening and revealing of who I am

doesn't stop here.

I'm thankful for this opportunity, and...

Let's ultimately... Let's just...

come together and... And love in unity, and...

Those who are hurting out there...

Hold fast. Know you're loved. And...

And to my mom, I'm just... I wanna say thank you for being the best mom.

I love you, Mom.

I'll talk to you soon.

Nice.

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