Original subtitles

[TRAIN WHISTLE]

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

-[SLURRING] IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE.

[GRUMBLING] ALL THE TIME...

YOUNG MAN OF THE WORLD.

AND A BOOK READER.

A BOOK...

[LAUGHS]

MOBY DICK!

[SNORTS]

OH...

A SERIOUS MAN!

SERIOUS MAN, SERIOUS MAN...

[GRUMBLING]

SERIOUS FELLA, HMM?

[EXHALES LOUDLY]

MM, SERIOUS, HMM?

NO TRAVELS EH? HMM, OKAY...

UH...

-THERE'S NO DRINKING IN HERE.

I'VE SPOKE TO YOU ABOUT THIS BEFORE, HAVEN'T I?

-I DON'T BELIEVE SO.

-YOU BEHAVE YOURSELF.

WE'LL PUT YOU OUT OF HERE WITHOUT A SECOND THOUGHT.

-[GRUNTS]

YES SIR.

HMM.

NOW BOY...

HMM, I SUPPOSE YOU'RE WONDERING HOW IT IS

THAT I AIN'T DRINKING WHEN I WOULD,

[LAUGHS]

APPEAR OTHERWISE.

[LAUGHS]

OH, CAT'S GOT HIS TONGUE.

OH, SPEAKING OF...

SPEAKING OF CATS, WHICH YOU WASN'T BUT I WAS...

I GOT A CAT AS BIG AS A WHEEL OF CHEESE.

THIS TWENTY-POUND CAT COULD KILL FIVE FULL-GROWN RATS IN A

GRAIN BARREL IN 60 SECONDS FLAT.

YOU BELIEVE THAT?

[LAUGHS]

I DO.

[LAUGHS]

AIN'T YOU AND I A PAIR OF OLD FRENCH WHORES, THOUGH?

[LAUGHS]

-YES.

-YEAH...

MM.

-ARE YOU MY GRANDFATHER?

-[BREATHING HEAVILY]

-BE YOU AUSTEN?

-YES.

-I'M YOUR GRANDFATHER.

YOUR TRAIN WAS AHEAD OF SCHEDULE.

-MY BOOKS ARE IN THAT.

HEAVY. -JUST GET IN THE TRUCK.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

[FLIES BUZZING]

-GRANDPA, AM I A FRENCH WHORE?

WHAT IS A FRENCH WHORE?

-I'LL TELL YOU WHEN YOU TURN 21.

WHO LIVES THERE?

-YOU?

-THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD IN KINGDOM COUNTY.

THAT'S WHO.

NOW, REMEMBER THAT YOU HEARD IT FIRST FROM ME.

-GRANDPA!

-I GOT WORK TO DO!

-HELLO.

-MY GOD, AREN'T YOU THE SPITTING IMAGE OF THE DOOMED

YOUNG PHARAOH, KING TUTANKHAMUN?

-THANKS?

-WELCOME, TUT.

WELCOME HOME.

THIS IS THE LIVING ROOM.

WE CALL IT NOVA SCOTIA.

[BUZZING SOUND] OH, DAMN CLUSTER FLIES!

THEY'RE ON THE PROWL.

IT'S EARLY, TOO.

THE SWATTER IS IN THE PANTRY.

YOU'LL DO YOUR PART.

IT'S US OR THEM.

[SERENE PIANO MUSIC]

*

A LYNX, KITTREDGE.

SPENDS MOST OF HIS DAYS RIGHT THERE, NOW.

-GRANDMA?

-EGYPT, TUT.

-NICE SPHINX.

-GREAT SPHINX.

FROM THE ANCIENT...

GREEK!

SPHINGO!

TO SQUEEZE!

LORD RA, THE SUN GOD.

HE'D KNOW THE SCORE.

YOU FOUND KING TUT.

SPITTING IMAGE, TOO.

IF THERE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS ON TAP, I, YOU, AND HE WILL

DISCUSS IT HERE IN EGYPT.

ALRIGHT.

-SHOULDN'T WE CALL DAD?

-I TOLD HIM YOU'RE HERE.

GIVE HIM A COUPLE OF DAYS.

COME HELP ME FINISH SUPPER.

[SLURPS]

[BELCHES QUIETLY]

[SLURPS]

PERHAPS MR. KITTREDGE CAN PUT THE NEWSPAPER DOWN.

MIGHT OCCUR TO HIM NOT TO SET A BAD EXAMPLE FOR A BOY.

-AUSTEN, ASK YOUR GRANDMA IF SHE'D PASS THE BUTTER IF IT'S

NOT TOO MUCH TROUBLE.

-ASK HIM NOT TO CALL ME GRANDMA.

I'M A MOTHER AND A GRANDMOTHER.

NOT A GRANDMA.

YOU'RE WELCOME, MR. KITTREDGE.

COME, TUT.

LET'S SETTLE INTO YOUR ROOM.

THIS IS WHERE YOU'LL STAY.

CLOSE ENOUGH TO THE KITCHEN THAT YOU WON'T GET LOST.

-IF I WASN'T HERE, WOULD YOU AND GRANDPA EVEN TALK TO

EACH OTHER?

-NO.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

-ONE OF THESE DAYS...

THIS TICKER'S GOING TO GIVE OUT ON A DIME, I'M GOING IN A

PINE BOX.

DON'T BE SURPRISED.

I LIKE BASSWOODS, AUSTEN.

EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK.

BUT I HATE THE GRAY BIRCH.

THEY'RE GOOD FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

AND I WISH EVERY ONE OF THEM WERE UP MIKE'S ASS.

-WHO'S MIKE?

-AH, HE'S A STAND-IN FOR EVERYBODY THAT GETS ON MY

WICK.

-WHERE ARE WE GOING?

-WELL, IT'S NOT IMPORTANT WHERE WE'RE GOING.

WHAT'S IMPORTANT IS WHERE WE ARE.

AND WE ARE IN IDAHO.

THE BEST STAND OF WOODS IN ALL OF KINGDOM COUNTY.

-WHY DO YOU CALL THIS IDAHO?

-I USED TO TRAVEL.

MRS. KITTREDGE PUT A STOP TO ALL THAT.

NOW THE ONLY TIME I GET TO TRAVEL IS COMING UP HERE TO

IDAHO.

WELL, THERE IT IS!

LABRADOR.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

ONE DAY WE'RE GOING TO SEE TO IT THAT YOU GET TO SHOOT ONE

OF YOUR OWN.

AND I'LL PUT IT UP RIGHT HERE WITH THE REST.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

-YES SIR.

-YOUR DAD HADN'T BEEN UP HERE TO HUNT WITH ME IN 20 YEARS.

HE'D RATHER HOLE UP IN SOME DUSTY SCHOOLHOUSE, TEACHING A

BUNCH OF MAMA'S BOYS HOW TO CIPHER.

-IS IT OKAY THAT MY DAD COMES UP TO GET ME?

I CAME HERE ALONE ON THE TRAIN AND...

I CAN GO BACK THE SAME WAY.

-COME OVER HERE.

I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

SEE THIS MAP?

I MARKED THE SPOTS WHERE YOUR DAD AND I BAGGED OUR DEER.

-YOU MEAN SOME OF THOSE HEADS ARE HIS?

-TWO OF THEM.

PLAY YOUR CARDS RIGHT, YEAR YOU TURN 18 I'LL TAKE YOU UP

HERE FOR A SUMMER OF FISHING.

NOW, WE'RE GOING INTO THE WOODS...

TEACH YOU HOW TO HANDLE A RIFLE.

-I, I DON'T KNOW GRANDPA.

MAYBE ANOTHER DAY.

-BUTTON YOUR COAT.

WE ARE GOING.

-NO...

[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]

*

-WHO LIVES THERE?

-MEANEST OLD BASTARD IN KINGDOM COUNTY.

-AND YOU REMEMBER, YOU HEARD IT FIRST FROM ME.

[SERENE PIANO MUSIC]

*

-THE BA, TUT.

THAT PART OF YOUR SOUL THAT MAKES YOU WHO YOU ARE AND

LIVES ON AFTER YOU'RE GONE.

-CAN I CALL DAD?

IT'S BEEN THREE DAYS.

-AFTER WE DO CHORES.

-[SNEEZES]

-BLESS YOU!

NOT YET.

-THERE'S MORE?

-YOU'VE GOTTA CLEAN THEIR PENS!

-NO, GRANDMA.

-YES, TUT.

I'LL SET ASIDE A PORTION OF MY WEEKLY EGG MONEY TO PAY FOR

YOUR COLLEGE EDUCATION.

SCOOP THE MANURE FROM UNDER THE ROOSTS AND TAKE IT TO THE

COMPOST SPOT.

WE'LL HAVE THE BEST TOMATOES IN THE COUNTY COME JULY.

THERE YOU GO.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

*

[ROTARY PHONE BUZZING]

-HELLO? DAD?

YEAH, YEAH. IT'S ME.

HEY, I, I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU GOT MY LETTERS.

YES.

GRANDMA'S TAKING ME TO CHURCH ON SUNDAY WHILE GRANDPA GOES

FISHING.

AND SHE SAYS SHE'LL MAKE ME A BIRTHDAY CAKE.

HEY, LOOK.

YOU'RE STILL COMING UP, RIGHT?

WHEN?

NO, NO...

IT'S JUST THAT...

GRANDMA'S MAKING ME SCOOP UP CHICKEN DUNG,

AND GRANDPA'S A S...

HE'S GOING TO DROP DEAD ANY MINUTE!

AND...

I WANT TO GO HOME.

*

*

-DAD, THERE'S INTEREST IN MY LATEST STORY.

AN EDITOR FROM THE SATURDAY EVENING POST TOOK ME TO THE 21

CLUB FOR OYSTERS.

-WHO CARVED THE BIRD?

-DADDY, I HAVEN'T TOLD YOU YET.

I WAS CAST IN AN OFF-BROADWAY PLAY.

-SO, YOUR MOTHER.

I'LL HAVE THE LEG.

RAISE A COUPLE DAUGHTERS IN THE WOODS OF A MOUNTAIN, THEY

BOTH END UP WITH THEIR HEADS IN THE CLOUDS.

-LAY OFF, OLD MAN.

-REMIND YOUR GRANDFATHER HE'S GOT THREE DAUGHTERS.

-I DON'T NEED TO BE REMINDED.

THE FBI STOPS BY TO REFRESH MY MEMORY ON A REGULAR BASIS.

-ELIZABETH IS NO MORE A BANK ROBBER THAN I AM MARIE

ANTOINETTE.

-CLEOPATRA, TELL THEM ABOUT YOUR PART.

-UM, I'M PLAYING THE LEAD, DOROTHY, IN TENNESSEE

WILLIAMS' "THE CASE OF THE CRUSHED PETUNIAS."

-WELL, I GOT A CRUSHED WATER WHEEL.

IT'S RAISING HELL WITH MY SAWMILL.

IF I HAD ELECTRIC POWER, OR A SON WHO COULD, UH, MANAGE A

FEW HAND TOOLS, I MIGHT STAND A CHANCE.

-RED SOX SPRING TRAINING STARTS SOON.

THEY GOT SOLOMON BACK. -WANNA PASS THE TURKEY DOWN HERE?

-SOME MEN IN THIS FAMILY WORK FOR A LIVING.

DON'T HAVE TIME TO STAND JABBERING.

-ROB WORKS.

- [SCOFFS]

SCHOOL TEACHERS WOULDN'T KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO PUT IN A

FULL DAY'S WORK.

-DON'T INCITE TROUBLE.

-OH, ABSOLUTELY.

-IS SHE COMING BACK?

-NO.

-MR. KITTREDGE, YOUR SON IS NOT JUST A SCHOOL TEACHER.

HE'S AN ASSISTANT HEADMASTER AT A VERY RESPECTABLE

MASSACHUSETTS SCHOOL.

-SAYING A HEADMASTER ISN'T A SCHOOL TEACHER IS LIKE SAYING

THAT A TROUT ISN'T A FISH.

- [LAUGHS LIGHTLY]

MOST PECULIAR MAN I'VE EVER MET.

-HA!

THIS COMING FROM A WOMAN WHO COLLECTS ANCIENT EGYPTIAN

TOENAIL CLIPPERS.

-AUSTEN, WILL YOU SAY GRACE, PLEASE?

-GO AHEAD, TUT.

-OUR FATHER...

-OUR FATHER, BLESS THIS FOOD FOR OUR USE AND US TO THY

SERVICE AMEN.

-AMEN.

-AND...

HELP DAD AND GRANDPA LIKE EACH OTHER.

-JESUS!

[ABIAH LAUGHS]

-DID SHE PUT YOU UP TO SAYING THAT?

-THAT WAS A WONDERFUL GRACE.

JUST RIGHT.

-OH FOR... JESUS CHRIST, LET YOUR BROTHER

STAND UP FOR HIMSELF.

-NOW EVEN YOU MUST BE SATISFIED, MR. KITTREDGE.

-NEXT TIME YOU HEAR FROM ME, I'LL BE IN LABRADOR.

-IT'S THE BOY'S BIRTHDAY.

-BROUGHT YOU SOME FOOD.

-HAVE THEY BEEN TALKING ABOUT ME DOWN THERE?

HASHING OVER MY SHORTCOMINGS?

-AFTER YOU LEFT, EVERYONE VANISHED BUT CLEOPATRA.

I SHOULD PROBABLY GO.

DAD AND NEFERTITI ARE GOING TO READ STORIES.

-IF THEY'RE NOT ALL OUT OF HERE BY NOON CHORES, I'M GOING

TO READ THEM SOMETHING, AND IT'S NOT GOING TO BE A STORY.

-WELL, WE'LL PROBABLY BE OUT OF HERE.

DAD WANTS TO GET HOME BEFORE DARK.

AFTER BREAKFAST, I WAS GOING TO OPEN SOME BIRTHDAY

PRESENTS.

-I NEVER EXCHANGED PRESENTS WITH ANYONE IN MY LIFE.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

-I DO.

-I GOTTA GO, GRANDPA.

MAYBE WE CAN GO HUNTING SOMEDAY.

-AUSTEN, UP HERE!

-[STAMMERS] I GOTTA DO CHORES.

-NO, COME UP HERE.

YOU'VE GOTTA TELL MOM.

-WHY?

-THESE ARE FAMILY SECRETS.

-FAMILY SECRETS?

-GO AHEAD.

YOU WANT TO SHARE MOM'S STORY WITH THE WORLD.

-OKAY, YOUR GRANDMOTHER, AND HER SISTER ELIZABETH, LANDED

IN CAPE BRETON WHEN THEY WERE REAL LITTLE.

AND THEY TOOK ON ALL SORTS OF HORRIBLE FARMING AND FACTORY

JOBS, EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE STILL GIRLS.

AND THIS SHIP THAT THEY CAME OVER ON WAS AN EGYPTIAN SHIP.

-DID THEY HAVE PARENTS?

-NO, THEIR PARENTS HAD DIED.

HERE, LISTEN.

"TWO ORPHANED SISTERS, SIX YEAR-OLD ABIAH AND EIGHT

YEAR-OLD ELIZABETH, SLEPT IN THE CRAMPED AND AIRLESS BOWELS

OF THE OCEAN GOING FREIGHTER.

SIDE-BY-SIDE NEXT TO HUNDRED OF CONTORTED AND MANGLED

MUMMIES DUG UP FROM ANCIENT EGYPTIAN BURIAL GROUNDS, THE

MUMMIES WERE NOW BEING USED TO STOKE THE FIRES

AND POWER THE SHIP."

-PLEASE, KEEP HIM HERE.

-WHAT'S GOING ON?

-I LOST MY JOB.

I NEED TIME.

I DON'T WANT HIM TO SEE ME LIKE THIS.

[SOUND OF CAR DRIVING AWAY]

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

-I'VE GOT TO PRUNE THESE APPLE TREES.

COME BACK!

TUT...

I SIT OUT HERE SOMETIMES IN...

FALL AND SPRING.

SOMETIMES I HEAR WILD GEESE THAT HAVE LOST THEIR MATES.

THEY CIRCLE AT NIGHT, CALLING...

NOT EVEN AWARE OF WHAT'S MISSING.

JUST THAT IT'S MISSED.

-YOU LIKE FAIRS?

-YES.

-WELL, IF WE MAKE IT TO MAY, AND YOU WORK REAL HARD AND

GENERALLY PAN OUT, I'LL STAKE YOU TO A DAY

AT THE MAPLE FESTIVAL.

WOULD YOU LIKE THAT?

-I'D LIKE THAT.

-YOU'RE HIRED.

AS YOU KNOW, I DISLIKE SCHOOL TEACHERS IN GENERAL.

[SCOFFS] AND WELL...

THAT ARE IN OUR OWN FAMILY IN PARTICULAR.

NOW I WANT YOU TO PROVE ME WRONG.

GO OUT THERE AND GET YOURSELF AN EDUCATION THAT NEVER STANDS

IN THE WAY OF YOUR ACTUAL DOING REAL WORK.

-I'LL TRY, GRANDPA.

-OH SIGH NOT SO, FOR IT SOUNDS OF EVE'S SWEET PIPPIN;

BY THESE LOOSEN'D LIPS, YOU HAVE TASTED THE PIPS AND FOUGHT IN

AN AMOROUS NIPPING.

[KISSY NOISES]

[GIGGLING]

WHO ARE YOU?

-I'M NEW.

AUSTEN KITTREDGE.

-IS MEAN-OLD AUSTEN KITTREDGE YOUR FATHER?

-MY GRANDFATHER.

AND HE'S NOT THAT MEAN.

-I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT, BUT REALLY.

HE'S MEAN.

-WHERE'S THE TEACHER?

-HEADY HILL NAILED HER INTO THE PRIVY.

-WHO'S HEADY HILL?

-SHE'S IN HER THIRD YEAR OF SEVENTH GRADE, AND SHE'S NOT

HAPPY ABOUT IT.

-SO THE TEACHER'S IN THE...

PRIVY?

-SINCE YESTERDAY LUNCH RECESS.

[KNOCKING]

IT'S ME, MRS. ARMSTRONG.

THERESA DUBOIS.

-GO TO MY FORD.

GET THE TIRE IRON OFF THE FRONT SEAT.

-I'LL MAKE A RUN FOR IT.

[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]

*

-GO!

*

[WOOD CREAKS]

-IT'S EITHER YOU OR ME, HEADY HILL.

I'LL BE DAMNED IF I SET FOOT IN THAT CLASSROOM IF YOU ARE

WITHIN THREE MILES OF IT.

[SLINGSHOT BAND WHISTLES]

-AUSTEN!

DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THE VOLGA RIVER?

-YEAH, WHY?

-WE HAVE A GEOGRAPHY BEE COMING UP.

MY SOCKS ITCH.

AND WELL...

WE KIND OF NEED YOU ON OUR TEAM.

-WANT A RIDE?

-I GUESS.

-AUSTEN!

GET BACK UP HERE!

CHRIST...

THEY'RE LIVING IN THAT OLD TATRO TRACTOR SHED.

IT USED TO BE A CABIN.

NOW THAT'S GONE.

-HOW DO YOU KNOW THEM?

-I DON'T.

I JUST SEE THEM AROUND.

-BUMPER STEVENS OWNS THAT SHACK.

-TELL YOUR GRANDFATHER BUMPER STEVENS IS A CROOK.

THE TATRO PLACE...

A HOVEL.

UNFIT FOR HUMAN HABITATION.

BUT THEY'LL PAY HIM EVERY NICKEL THEY HAVE.

-NOBODY MAKING MUCH PROFIT OFF THAT TRACTOR SHED.

-BUMPER STEVEN IS.

THEY'RE PROBABLY STARVING TO DEATH EATING POTATOES.

TUT, TELL HIM.

-YOU WANT TO ASK ADLAI STEVENSON WHAT SHE PROPOSES TO DO

ABOUT IT?

IF THEY STARVE, SO BE IT.

-WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

-IF I RUN ACROSS A DYING ANIMAL IN THE WOODS...

I DON'T PROLONG ITS SUFFERING.

I WOULDN'T PROLONG THEIRS.

[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]

*

[GRINDING NOISE]

-WHY DO YOU GET NASTY

WHENEVER WE TALK ABOUT THERESA'S FAMILY?

-'CAUSE I KNOW THESE PEOPLE.

I SEE THEM EVERYWHERE.

EVERY DUMB FRENCHMAN'S JOKE IS ABOUT EXACTLY THEM.

-THERESA'S FRENCH?

OF COURSE.

DUBOIS.

SHE MAY NOT HAVE AN ACCENT, BUT BOTH HER PARENTS DO.

-IS THAT WHY YOU HATE GRANDMA?

IS SHE FRENCH?

-GET THE RIFLE.

WE'RE GOING INTO THE WOODS.

WHAT I'M GOING TO TELL YOU IS JUST BETWEEN YOU AND ME.

THERE WAS A GIRL...

SHE WAS THE DAUGHTER OF A BLUE-EYED INUIT CHIEF.

IN LABRADOR.

-DO YOU HAVE A PHOTO?

-LET ME DO THE TALKING, OKAY?

WHEN I FIRST MET HER, SHE WAS PROBABLY A COUPLE YEARS

YOUNGER THAN ME.

MAYBE 19.

I COULD NEVER GET MY TONGUE AROUND HER NAME IN INUIT, BUT

IT MEANT "MIRAGE."

SO I CALLED HER MIRA.

THERE WERE THINGS BETWEEN US THAT ONLY HAPPEN ONCE IN A

LIFETIME.

WE'D TRACK UPRIVER SOME DAYS, SNOWSHOE A TRAP LINE.

GO FOR HOURS WITHOUT EVER SPEAKING A WORD,

AND IT DIDN'T MATTER.

WE NEVER MARRIED.

BUT BETWEEN SHE AND I, WE ALWAYS FELT WE WERE

MAN AND WIFE.

-I UNDERSTAND.

-WELL, THEN YOU WON'T BE SURPRISED.

COME WINTER, SHE WAS PREGNANT.

AND THAT WAS FINE WITH US.

AND THEN, IN THE SUMMER WHEN IT CAME TIME FOR HER TO HAVE

THE BABY...

THINGS WENT WRONG.

THE BABY DIED.

AND THE NEXT DAY...

SHE DIED.

I LOOKED DOWN AT HER.

[SIGHS]

AND THEN SHE SAID THE WORDS THAT...

SHE HAD TAKEN TO CALLING ME.

THEN SHE WAS GONE.

QUICK.

BEFORE I KNEW IT HAPPENED.

IT WAS A BOY BABY, AUSTEN.

A BOY.

I BURIED THEM TOGETHER.

GOT IN A CANOE.

CAME BACK DOWN TO VERMONT.

FEW MONTHS LATER, I MARRIED YOUR GRANDMOTHER.

-AND DOES GRANDMA KNOW ABOUT ALL THIS?

-UNTIL NOW, SHE'S THE ONLY OTHER PERSON I'VE EVER TOLD

THIS STORY TO.

-AND SHE WASN'T MAD?

-SHE WAS ANGRY ABOUT EVERYTHING I DID.

BEFORE AND AFTER.

BUT I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING ABOUT YOUR GRANDMOTHER AND ME.

SHE WILL NEVER BE MIRA.

AND I'LL NEVER BE THE FELLA THAT SHE WANTED TO SPEND HER

LIFE WITH.

BUT WE'VE ABIDED EACH OTHER.

WE DON'T AGREE ON MUCH, BUT WE'VE LASTED FIFTY YEARS.

OH, ONE THING.

NOT A WORD TO YOUR FATHER OR THE GIRLS.

-OKAY.

-OKAY.

[GROANS]

-GRAMP?

GRAMP, WHAT WAS THE NAME THAT MIRA GAVE YOU?

THE ONE SHE CALLED YOU?

RIGHT AT...

BEFORE SHE WENT.

-SHE CALLED ME

"THE FELLOW WHO NEVER SMILES,

EXCEPT WHEN HE LOOKS AT ME."

-$42,000.

SHE ROBBED A BANK, AUSTEN.

LIZ KITTREDGE.

YOUR AUNT.

I WAS FIVE YEARS OLD.

-I DON'T KNOW.

-WELL EVERYBODY ELSE DOES.

THE MONEY'S BURIED.

-ARE YOU SURE?

-LET'S CLOSE OUR EYES AND PICTURE WHERE IT MIGHT BE...

-WE'LL BE LATE FOR SCHOOL.

-DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

-AHH, I HAVEN'T HAD A SODA POP IN TWO MONTHS.

GRANDPA!

WAIT!

THAT'S OUR COW.

-I'M TOLD THAT AUSTEN KITTREDGE FANCIES HIMSELF AS

AN EXPERT READER.

THERESA DUBOIS, WHAT IS THE EXPERT READER UP TO?

COME REPORT TO ME NOW.

-OLD MAN AND THE SEA.

-WHAT'S THAT?

-I DON'T KNOW.

-FIND OUT.

-AUSTEN, THE ARM WANTS TO KNOW WHAT'S YOUR BOOK ABOUT?

-FISHING.

-WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

-JUST REMEMBERING YOU LOCKED IN THAT PRIVY, WHIFFING ALL

THAT'S PILED UP IN THERE.

-YOU WANT ANOTHER GO-AROUND?

I'LL GIVE YOU A RUN FOR YOUR MONEY.

-BETTER RUN FAST, TOO, 'CAUSE I GOT THE KEYS TO YOUR JALOPY.

[KEYS JINGLE]

[GIGGLES]

-EYES IN YOUR BOOK, GIRL.

-WE GET THE PICTURE.

NOW IT'S TIME TO STUDY OUR LATIN.

-I DON'T KNOW MUCH LATIN.

NEVER HAD MUCH CALL FOR IT.

-MRS. ARMSTRONG DOESN'T KNOW HER LATIN.

-BUT SHE'S GOT A MIND FOR DISCIPLINE.

YOU'VE GOTTA GIVE HER THAT.

-IT'S LIKE A WAR.

-FOR ONCE, IT LOOKS LIKE SCHOOL IS UH...

PREPARING YOU FOR LIFE.

-LIFE OF OPPOSING TYRANNY, I'D SAY.

WHICH IS WORTH LEARNING, BUT ONLY IF YOU CAN PREVAIL.

WINNING IS ALL, TUT.

-WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT, GRAM?

-A TEACHER WITH NO LATIN, TUT, IS LIKE A BLIND MAN

FLYING AN AIRPLANE.

HE MIGHT LAND IT, BUT IT'LL BE DUMB LUCK, AND HE WON'T KNOW

HOW IT HAPPENED.

FROM NOW ON, I'LL WORK YOU ON YOUR CICERO.

AND MR. KITTREDGE CAN, UH, REVEAL WHAT HE KNOWS.

-GRAMP KNOWS PLENTY.

HE TAUGHT ME ABOUT MAPS, TREES, ANIMALS, GUNS, AND THE

HISTORY OF WHISKEY SMUGGLING.

-OH, GOD HELP US.

I'LL SET YOU STRAIGHT ON SHAKESPEARE, THE BIBLE,

HORTICULTURE, AND INSECTS.

BEGINNING WITH THE DAMN CLUSTER FLIES WHO TAKE SO MUCH

DELIGHT IN VEXING ME.

YOUR GRANDFATHER AND I WILL GET YOU THROUGH THE YEAR.

THEN YOUR FATHER CAN TAKE IT FROM THERE IN JUNE.

-DAD'S NOT COMING 'TIL JUNE?

-IF AT ALL.

I DON'T EXPECT HIM TO SHOW HIS FACE HERE ANY MORE THAN THE

MAN IN THE MOON.

-OR NAPOLEON AT WATERLOO.

NAPOLEON SHOWED UP JUST IN TIME TO GET HIS FINAL

COMEUPPANCE.

MR. KITTREDGE, TAKE NOTICE.

-[LAUGHS]

BULL AND JAM, WOMAN.

-GRANDPA TOLD ME ABOUT MIRA.

-WIND THE CLOCKS.

-GRAM, ARE YOU MAD...

ABOUT MIRA?

-YOUR GRANDFATHER TELLS A GOOD STORY.

HIS STORY.

BUT I'M HERE TOO.

-DIDN'T IT...

HAPPEN BEFORE YOU WERE MARRIED?

-ARE YOU PROPOSING WE DISCUSS THE NATURE OF TIME?

HOW LONG DOES LOVE LAST?

WHAT WILL A WOMAN OR MAN DO FOR LOVE?

-HE DIDN'T TELL ME THAT.

-ASK HIM.

-T.S. ELIOT CAN SET YOU STRAIGHT ON YOUR QUANDARY ABOUT TIME.

-HOW?

-IF ALL TIME IS ETERNALLY PRESENT, ALL TIME IS

UNREDEEMABLE.

YOU CAN'T GO BACK, BUT TIME PAST IS ALWAYS PRESENT.

-SOUNDS LIKE A RIDDLE.

-MM.

THINK ABOUT IT.

-[LAUGHS LIGHTLY]

[SIGHS]

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

-SAP FLOWS WHEN DAYTIME TEMPERATURES SHOOT ABOVE

FREEZING AND NIGHTTIME GETS COLD.

THE SAP RISES UP FROM THE ROOTS.

MR. KITTREDGE WORKS THE NORTHERN SLOPE.

WE'LL SEE WHO WINS THE MAPLE FESTIVAL.

-YOU COMPETE?

-TO WIN IS ALL, TUT.

DRILL TWO MORE HOLES.

-TELL MRS. KITTREDGE THAT IF SHE HAS A FULL-TIME

ASSISTANT...

I DON'T STAND A CHANCE.

I SAY CALL THE CONTEST OFF.

-I CAN HELP YOU TOO, GRAMP, AS LONG AS I'M NOT GOING TO

SCHOOL.

-HELP HIM.

'TIL THE HORSE COMES HOME ON ROLLER SKATES.

I WILL NOT TOLERATE YOUR GRANDFATHER TRYING TO WIGGLE

OUT A LITTLE EVEN-HANDED COMPETITION.

-I'VE GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN TO COUNT MY BLUE RIBBONS.

NO SNOW.

IT'S GOING TO BE A BAD SUGAR SEASON, BUT...

COMPETITION SHE WANTS...

THEN THAT'S WHAT SHE'LL GET.

[PEACEFUL GUITAR MUSIC]

LET'S TRY THIS ONE.

YOU KNOW THE MAPLE CONTEST DOESN'T REALLY MEAN ANYTHING

TO ME.

HERE.

NOW MOVE OVER.

JUST TO THE LEFT.

TWO TAPS PER TREE.

-GRAM SAYS WINNING IS EVERYTHING.

-WELL...

THAT'S WHY WE'RE GOING TO WORK OUR BUTTS OFF.

TO GET THIS YEAR'S PRIZE.

THAT'S GOOD.

-YOU GAVE THERESA'S FAMILY A COW.

-THERESA DOESN'T HAVE MUCH FAMILY, AUSTEN.

HER FATHER DIED.

MOTHER TALKS A MILE A MINUTE.

I DON'T THINK I EVEN GOT A WORD.

-WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?

-'CAUSE WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF COWS.

ONE LESS I HAVE TO WRANGLE EVERY DAY.

-MEANEST OLD BASTARD IN KINGDOM COUNTY...

HOW ARE THEY GOING TO FEED IT?

-THEY CAN'T.

I LEFT THEM ALL SOME HAY.

BUT COME NEXT SPRING, THEY'RE ON THEIR OWN.

-DID AUNT LIZ ROB A BANK?

-[LAUGHS]

IF SHE DIDN'T, SHE SURE AS HELL SHOULD'VE.

NOW THAT'S GOOD.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

NOT QUITE.

-WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

-LIGHT COLOR AND TASTE.

EXTRA FANCY'S WHAT WE CALL IT.

RIGHT OFF THE TOP OF THE FIRST RUN.

SHALLOW SAP.

HOT FIRE, THEN...

TIN PANS.

WE'LL EDGE OUT ABIAH.

YOU WATCH.

YOUR WORK ON THE FARM HAS BEEN BETTER THAN AVERAGE.

AND HERE'S YOUR PAY.

-TEN DOLLARS!

-AND YOU CAN...

SAVE IT OR YOU CAN...

BINGE OUT AT THE FESTIVAL LIKE SOME DRUNKEN LUMBERJACK.

I DON'T CARE WHICH.

-THANKS GRANDPA.

-YOU EARNED IT.

-HEY AUSTEN!

AREN'T YOU EVER COMING BACK TO SCHOOL?

NO.

I DON'T THINK SO.

-I TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID ABOUT YOUR GRANDPA.

HE'S NOT REALLY THAT BAD.

EXCEPT BUMPER STEVENS TOOK YOUR COW FOR BACK RENT.

-WHAT DO YOU DO FOR MILK?

-DID YOU FIND THE BANK MONEY?

-I'VE BEEN WALKING AROUND, LOOKING.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO START!

-COME ON.

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

*

[MAKING AIRPLANE NOISES]

*

-SOMETHING'S STEALING EGGS FROM THE COOP!

-WHAT ABOUT THE HENS?

DID YOU COUNT THEM?

-NO GRAM.

[HENS CLUCKING]

[QUIETLY COUNTING]

-WHICH ONE OF THESE DOES YOUR GRANDFATHER USE FOR...

BIRDS? -YOU DON'T EVEN LIKE GUNS!

-NO, I DON'T.

DO YOU KNOW HOW TO OPERATE THIS WEAPON?

TELL ME, HOW DOES IT FIRE?

-IT'S A BIG GUN, GRANDMA.

-SHOW ME.

-WELL, YOU LOOK DOWN THE CENTER, THEN YOU PULL THIS

TRIGGER FOR THIS BARREL, AND THIS TRIGGER FOR THIS BARREL.

-MM.

NOW RUN INSIDE AND GET US SOME WARM WRAPS.

YOU AND YOUR GRANDMOTHER HAVE A JOB TO DO.

-MOVING OUT?

-NO, GRANDMA AND I ARE SLEEPING IN THE HEN HOUSE.

-BOTH MOVING OUT.

I'M SHOOTING THE FIRST THING I SEE.

-H...

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHICH ANIMAL DID IT?

-I DON'T.

COULD BE A WEASEL.

MOUNTAIN CAT.

COYOTE.

RACCOON.

LYNX, SKUNK, POSSUM, SQUIRREL.

CHICKENS AND EGGS ARE TASTY.

I THINK IT'S A SNOW OWL.

COULD BE A BEAR.

[CHICKENS CLUCK]

-A BEAR COULD FIT IN HERE?

-THESE HENS ARE YOUR TICKET TO COLLEGE.

WE SHOOT TO KILL.

[CHICKENS CLUCKING]

[SNAKE HISSING]

-HM? -SHH!

THERE, NOW WE KNOW!

I LOATHE SERPENTS OF ANY STRIPE.

GRANDMA, NO NO NO!

IT'S A SNAKE!

THEY EAT RATS!

-LOOK ME IN THE EYE, SATAN.

[GUNSHOT]

[CHICKENS CLUCK WILDLY]

HELP YOUR GRANDMOTHER UP.

WE FINISHED HIM, TUT.

HE'S NOT GOING TO BE KILLING ANY MORE CHICKENS AND KEEPING

BOYS AWAY FROM COLLEGE.

-YOU'RE NOT AFRAID OF ANYTHING, GRANDMA.

-I WAS TERRIFIED HALF TO DEATH.

TUT, BEING BRAVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING UNAFRAID.

NEVER FORGET IT.

YOU GO DISPOSE OF THE BEAST.

-SO, GRAM AND THE SNAKE WERE LOOKING AT EACH OTHER FOR A

LONG TIME.

-I IMAGINE THEY DID.

-DEAR MR. KITTREDGE,

IF ANY MORE VIPERS COME SASHAYING DOWN HERE FROM UP ON

HIS HILL, THEIR SASHAYING DAYS WILL END ON THE SPOT.

YOU MAY INFORM THEM I SAID SO.

-WHY DOESN'T SHE INFORM THEM HERSELF.

THAT WAY THEY'D KNOW SHE MEANT IT.

BY THE WAY, TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER THE MEN FROM THE

ELECTRIC COMPANY WILL BE HERE MONDAY.

CHECK THE LAY OF THE LAND FOR THE POWER WIRES.

-POWER WIRES?

TO WHAT?

FROM WHAT?

THROUGH WHAT?

-FROM THE POWER POLES THEY'LL DIG INTO TO THE GROUND.

RUN A LINE, SAME AS ALWAYS, ALONG THE ROAD.

-THROUGH MY ORCHARD?

-THEY'LL HAVE TO GET TO THE HOUSE.

THEY'LL RUN A LINE TO THE HOUSE AND ONE TO MY SAWMILL.

-WHO THE HELL'S IDEA IS THIS?

- EVERYBODY IN KINGDOM COUNTY IS TYING INTO THE POWER GRID,

AND THAT INCLUDES US.

-PRECISELY MY POINT.

-WHAT POINT IS THAT, GRAM?

WELL, JUST SO THAT I CAN TRANSLATE IT.

-NO TRANSLATION IS NEEDED.

-ASK MRS. KITTREDGE HOW HER ANCIENT COMRADES MANAGED TO

BUILD MONUMENTS TO THEMSELVES UNDERGROUND WITH NO LIGHT.

-SAME WAY WE HAVE, TUT.

OIL LAMPS.

-OR TYING INTO THE POWER GRID.

THAT'S THE BEGINNING AND THE END OF IT.

THEY'LL BE HERE THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW.

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

-COME IN, TUT.

-GRAM...

WE HAVE PLENTY OF ELECTRICITY IN DEERFIELD.

IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

-IF YOU GET STARTED ON TELEVISION, YOU'LL BE BANISHED

FROM THIS HOUSE.

-I'VE SEEN TELEVISION.

-WHAT HAVE YOU SEEN ON TELEVISION, TUT?

-HOWDY DOODY.

-WHO'S HE?

-HE'S A COWBOY WITH FRECKLES, AND HE'S TWO FEET TALL.

-PRETTY SHORT.

-AND THEN THERE'S FLUBADUB, AND SHE'S HALF DUCK,

HALF GIRAFFE.

-COME WITH ME.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

I REFUSE TO BE WIRED TO ELECTRICITY OR ANYTHING ELSE.

-DID EGYPTIAN KIDS HAVE FUN?

-OF COURSE! THEY PLAYED LEAPFROG.

-THAT'S ALL?

-I'M AGITATED TONIGHT.

-I CAN SEE THAT.

AND WHY ARE YOU SO KEEN ON EGYPT?

NEFERTITI SAID YOU CAME OVER IN A BOAT THAT CHUCKED FLAMING

MUMMIES INTO A BOILER.

-SO IT'S COMMON KNOWLEDGE NOW.

-DID YOU EVER HAVE NIGHTMARES?

-OF COURSE I DO.

EVERYONE DOES.

-I WOULD'VE BEEN SCARED FOR LIFE.

-THOSE MUMMIES...

COULDN'T BE DESTROYED.

PEOPLE DID THE WORST TO THEM.

YANKING THEM FROM THE GROUND, USING THEM TO STOW COAL.

BUT SOMETHING OF THEM REMAINED, AND IT ENDURES

STILL.

-YOU WERE AN ORPHAN.

-MANY PEOPLE ARE.

DON'T DWELL ON IT!

GOOD NIGHT, TUT.

[SOMBER GUITAR MUSIC]

*

-THE SHERIFF IS COMING!

HE'S HERE NOW!

-THAT'S ALL?

-WHAT DO YOU KEEP IN THAT TRUNK, GRANDPA?

-THAT'S PRIVATE.

-IT'S PASTOR KITTREDGE.

- [CHUCKLES]

HE'S ALSO THE SHERIFF.

AND THE UNDERTAKER.

[KNOCKING AT THE DOOR]

-AFTERNOON, COUSIN.

I HAVE BEEN CHARGED WITH DELIVERING YOU THIS SUMMONS TO

APPEAR IN COURT TOMORROW AT 10 A.M.

FOR A CIVIL PROCEEDING IN THE CASE

OF KITTREDGE VS. KITTREDGE.

AIN'T NOTHING PERSONAL.

-NEITHER IS THIS

[DYNAMITE HISSES] -D...WHAT DO YOU MEAN!

DISPOSE...

[EXPLOSION]

-I COULD GO FOR A NUMBER 10 CAN OF PEACHES.

[SLURPS]

-SO...

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO COURT TOMORROW?

-OH, WE'RE ALL GOING TO COURT TOMORROW.

IT'S ONE THING TO BLOW UP A TWO-BIT SHERIFF.

IT'S A WHOLE 'NOTHER THING FOR A MAN TO TURN DOWN A SUMMONS.

YOU DON'T DO IT.

TELL YOUR GRANDMOTHER THAT WE'LL ALL BE GONE ABOUT

FIVE AFTER NINE.

[CHUCKLES]

KITTREDGE VS. KITTREDGE.

COULD BE INTERESTING.

THE BENCH.

WHAT KIND OF WOOD'S IT MADE OUT OF?

-UHH, ROCK MAPLE.

-FLOOR?

-WHITE PINE.

-ALL RISE!

SUPERIOR COURT OF KINGDOM COUNTY IS NOW IN SESSION.

JUDGE FORREST ALLEN PRESIDING IN THE CASE OF

KITTREDGE VS. KITTREDGE.

-SIT DOWN FOLKS.

WE'LL DISPENSE WITH THE FORMALITIES.

AFTER ALL, WE'RE FRIENDS.

THE PLAINTIFF, MRS. ABIAH KITTREDGE, REQUESTS A

PERMANENT INJUNCTION TO PREVENT THE DEFENDANT, AUSTEN

KITTREDGE, FROM CONTRACTING ELECTRICAL SERVICES TO THEIR

FARM.

-UH, YES YOUR HONOR.

ELECTRICAL SERVICE POSES A THREAT TO THE FAMILY'S SAFETY

AND PROPERTY, AND THE LINES RUN THROUGH MRS. KITTREDGE'S

APPLE ORCHARD.

-HOW MANY APPLE TREES DO YOU HAVE, ABIAH?

-22.

HERE'S THE LIST.

-TEMOVSKY, FAMEUSE, SMOKEHOUSE...

I HAVEN'T ENCOUNTERED THESE BEAUTIES IN YEARS.

SO, ABIAH, LAYING THE POWER LINES

WOULD DESTROY YOUR OLD APPLE TREES?

-I WOULDN'T BE HERE OTHERWISE.

PLUS, TOO MANY FARMHOUSES IN VERMONT HAVE CAUGHT FIRE FROM

BAD WIRING, AND I DON'T INTEND TO BURN TO A CRISP WHILE

ASLEEP ON MY BED.

NOT TO MENTION THE COST, WHICH WE CAN ILL AFFORD, NOR WOULD I

CONDONE THE INVASION OF A TELEVISION SET IN OUR HOME,

WHICH WOULD TURN MY GRANDSON INTO A SLUG.

-SO, IS THAT THE CASE?

AUSTEN, DID YOU INTEND TO UPROOT YOUR WIFE'S

APPLE TREES?

-I INTEND TO CONDUCT MY DAIRY AND SAW MILL OPERATIONS

WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.

I'M NOT A RICH MAN, BUT I NEED ELECTRICITY LIKE EVERY OTHER

FARM IN THIS COUNTY.

-WHAT ABOUT YOUR WIFE'S CLAIM?

WOULD YOUR POWER LINES DESTROY YOUR TREES?

-I SUSPECT IT WILL.

A FEW OF 'EM. WHAT OF IT?

THOSE TREES ARE GONE BY.

MRS. KITTREDGE KNOWS THAT.

GOOD FOR A LITTLE CIDER MAYBE, BUT THAT'S IT!

WHY SHOULD HER APPLES BE MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE SAWMILL?

-I DIDN'T SAY THEY WERE.

OR FOR THAT MATTER, THAT THEY WEREN'T.

-ARE YOU GOING TO PERMIT HIM TO DECIMATE MY APPLE ORCHARD

AND BURN ME ALIVE?

-AUSTEN...

I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU AND ABIAH A WRITTEN RULING ON

THURSDAY, BUT I WON'T MAKE YOU WAIT.

AUSTEN CAN HAVE ELECTRICITY IN HIS SAWMILL AND BARN IF HE

LAYS THE ELECTRIC LINES UNDERGROUND, OR IN ANY WAY

THAT PRESERVES ABIAH'S ORCHARD AND GARDEN, BUT ONLY IF HE CAN

ACCOMPLISH THAT.

-BUT WHAT ABOUT MY RASPBERRY BUSHES?

THEY'RE, THEY'RE PRETTY MUCH EVERYWHERE.

-YOU MAY LOSE A FEW BUSHES, BUT IF HE CAN DO AS I SAY,

AUSTEN CAN BRING THE ELECTRICITY IN.

-HOW LONG DO YOU PLAN TO GIVE MR. KITTREDGE A BLANK CHECK,

AND HOW THE HELL WILL HE PAY FOR IT?

-ONCE YOU LAY THE LINES, THE POWER'S THERE.

HOW YOU PAY IS FOR YOU AND MR. KITTREDGE TO DETERMINE,

BUT I WILL RULE THAT THE JUICE CANNOT BE STRUNG

INTO THE HOUSE.

-SAYS WHO?

-I'VE DECIDED IN YOUR FAVOR, ABIAH.

IF YOU DON'T WANT IT, YOU GET YOUR SAY-SO.

-REST ASSURED, JUDGE ALLEN, IF I WANT ELECTRIC IN MY HOUSE,

I'LL GET IT.

IF I DON'T, I WON'T.

GOOD DAY.

-MM.

WE'LL SEE.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

[MACHINE WHIRRS]

[SAWING SOUND]

[ELECTRICAL HUMMING]

-YOU CAN'T PREDICT THE FUTURE, TUT.

BUT TIMES ARE CHANGING, WE CAN COUNT ON THAT.

-ARE YOU HAPPY, GRAM?

-HAPPY?

HAVING YOU HERE MAKES ME HAPPY.

I'M GOING TO BAKE SOME PIE, AND YOU'RE GOING TO KEEP THE

CLUSTER FLIES AT BAY.

-YES MA'AM.

KITTREDGE RESIDENCE.

-WHO'S THIS?

-UH, AUSTEN KITTREDGE THE SECOND.

-HELLO, AUSTEN KITTREDGE THE SECOND.

THIS IS LIZ KITTREDGE-JAMES THE FIRST.

-I'VE HEARD ABOUT YOU.

-I'M SURE YOU HAVE.

I SEEM TO BE THE ONLY ACCUSED BANK ROBBER IN TOWN.

CAN YOU DRIVE?

[RELAXED GUITAR MUSIC]

*

-SO, WHY DID YOU LEAVE TOWN?

I MEAN, EXCEPT FOR BEING WANTED FOR BANK ROBBERY,

THAT IS.

-NOBODY EVER PINNED A THING ON ME.

I WILL SHOW YOU MY GUN LATER, SON.

KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD.

-I KNOW THE STORY.

-AH, DO YOU REALLY?

WELL TELL ME.

-MAY 3RD, 1952.

A SINGLE MASKED BANDIT, AROUND NOON AND ABOUT YOUR SIZE,

CARRYING A PEARL-HANDLED REVOLVER, HELD UP A BANK.

-I DECLARE.

-WORD IS, YOU GOT AWAY SCOT-FREE WITH MORE THAN

$42,000.

-WHAT DID I DO WITH THE LOOT?

-BURIED IT.

-WHERE?

-THE FARM.

-IS IT STILL THERE?

-FOSTER JAMES, A MAN WITH A GORGEOUS GLASS EYE AND A NOSE

FOR ADVENTURE.

THE GREAT GRANDSON OF JESSE JAMES.

-THE GREAT GRANDSON OF JESSE JAMES?

HE'S YOUR HUSBAND?

-EX-HUSBAND.

-SO ARE WE GOING TO RIDE THE HORSE?

-MAYBE LATER.

-I'VE BEEN HERE BEFORE.

-I CALL IT FORT KITTREDGE.

I USED TO BRING BOYFRIENDS UP HERE AFTER DARK TO SCARE THEM.

COME OVER HERE.

NOW, SIR...

ARE YOU AFRAID OF TIGHT, DARK PLACES?

-YES.

-WELL YOU'VE GOT TO GET OVER THAT FEAR, BECAUSE ONE OF US

HAS TO GO DOWN THERE, AND IT'S NOT GOING TO BE ME.

-WHAT'S DOWN THERE?

-GOD KNOWS.

ALRIGHT.

DOWN YOU GO.

-WAIT WAIT WAIT!

SO, IF I, IF I GO

AND HELP YOU GET THIS LOOT...

COULD I GO TO JAIL?

OR WILL YOU CUT ME IN ON SOME OF THE MONEY?

-WHAT MONEY?

-YOU MEAN I'M NOT GOING DOWN THAT HOLE FOR MONEY?

-NO, THIS IS ABOUT AN EX-HUSBAND.

-ANOTHER EX-HUSBAND?

-W-WELL, WE NEVER DID GET DIVORCED.

LEGALLY SPEAKING, IF HE'S ALIVE AND I CAN FIND HIM,

WE'RE STILL YOKED TOGETHER.

HARTLEY STONE WAS HIS NAME.

AND STONE IS WHAT HIS HEART WAS MADE OF.

OFF TO THE CATHOUSES IN BUTTE EVERY TIME I TURNED MY BACK.

-I'M ASSUMING A CATHOUSE ISN'T REALLY WHAT IT SOUNDS LIKE.

-OH, I'M, I'M AFRAID THEY ARE.

UH...

-BUT WAIT, WHY AM I GOING INTO THIS HOLE FOR YOUR EX-HUSBAND?

-BECAUSE I LOVED HIM.

TRULY. -[GROANS]

-AND HE LOVED ME.

OH, LOVE CONQUERS ALL.

AND IT FORGIVES QUITE A LOT ALONG THE WAY.

AND LOOK AT YOUR GRANDPARENTS: WHAT ON GOD'S GOOD EARTH KEEPS

THEM TOGETHER?

-YOU CALL THEM TOGETHER.

I WOULDN'T.

WHAT HAPPENED?

-ABIAH CREATED EGYPT AND NAMED HER NEXT TWO KIDS NEFERTITI

AND CLEOPATRA.

SOMETHING HAPPENED.

NOW GET DOWN THERE AND DIG AROUND.

SIFT THROUGH THE ROCKS AND DIRT.

TELL ME IF YOU FIND ANYTHING, OKAY?

[MYSTERIOUS GUITAR MUSIC]

*

*

-BUCKET'S FULL, AUNT LIZ!

LIZ!

-DID YOU PILE THROUGH THE ROCKS AND DIRT?

DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?

-NOT REALLY.

-WELL WE CAN'T HAUL UP EVERY TEASPOON OF DIRT.

-WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

-ANYTHING THAT LOOKS LIKE IT'S WORTH DIGGING FOR, OKAY?

SURPRISE ME.

-ALRIGHT.

-LIZ?

-HUH?

-LIZ!

-WHAT IS IT?

-HEY LIZ, I THINK I FOUND IT!

-YES SIR, DID YOU FIND SOMETHING?

-YEAH.

HELP ME UP.

-OH...

-HERE.

IS THIS WHAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR?

-THAT'S THE...

THAT'S MY WEDDING RING FROM HARTLEY STONE.

IT'S PERFECT.

LET'S GO.

*

-YOU'RE NOT COMING INTO MY HOUSE WITH A FIREARM, SWEETIE.

-WELL, HOW ABOUT I KEEP IT 'TIL WE'RE INSIDE?

-IT'S NOT A SALOON.

GIVE ME THE GUN.

WHERE DID YOU GET THAT RING?

-I, AND AUSTEN, FOUND IT WHERE I LEFT IT UP AT FORT

KITTREDGE.

-WELL SURELY YOU DON'T INTEND TO WEAR IT.

-I DO.

I, I STILL LOVE HARTLEY STONE.

-HE WAS A CHEAT AND A DRUNK.

YOUR MEMORY'S TOO SHORT.

-WELL YOURS IS TOO LONG!

TIMES CHANGE.

-YEAH, TIMES MAY, PEOPLE DO NOT.

-SO WHAT?

YOU TOO HAVE LOVED, MOTHER.

-HEY, DON'T DRAG ME INTO THAT FOXHOLE.

WHATEVER ELSE MAY BE SAID ABOUT YOUR FATHER,

HE'S NOT A CHEAT.

-NO, ABIAH.

HE'S NOT.

GIVE ME MY GUN.

[JAUNTY MUSIC]

*

OH, WE'VE GOT A VISITOR.

-MRS. KITTREDGE.

-THAT'LL DO [LAUGHS LIGHTLY]

-THE FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION.

I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS IF I COULD.

-I WOULD BE TICKLED.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK ABOUT?

-UM, MAINLY BANK ROBBERY.

-WELL THAT IS NO WAY TO INTEREST A LADY.

-UH, I HAVE A WARRANT TO SEARCH YOUR PERSONAL EFFECTS.

-YOU DON'T SAY? -I NEED TO DO THAT NOW.

-AUSTEN, YOU WATCH AFTER THE HORSE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

-THERE'S SUGAR ON SNOW, AUSTEN.

MY TREAT!

-I'M NOT HUNGRY.

-NOT HUNGRY FOR SUGAR ON SNOW?

-I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, BUT...

I ALWAYS EAT LIKE A BIRD WHEN I'M AT FESTIVALS.

-TIE UP THE HORSE, SHE'LL BE FINE.

-I REALLY CAN'T.

BUT I WOULDN'T MIND GOING TO THE BARN DANCE LATER.

-UM, I HAVE SOME NEWS FOR YOU.

PRETTY BIG, TOO.

-I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT STAYING HERE, OKAY?

BELIEVE ME.

-MEET ME AT THE DANCE?

-SURE.

-YOU MAKING OUT ALRIGHT?

-JUST HANGING AROUND, WAITING FOR LIZ.

WATCHING HER HORSE.

SHE'S WITH A G-MAN.

-INSIDE, WE GOTTA GO.

WE GOT SYRUP TO DELIVER.

-NOT NOW.

I'M REALLY S... -NO, NOW. NOW.

-NO GRANDPA!

-NO, THE ANSWER IS "YES GRANDPA."

COME ON.

-UGH, OKAY.

-COME ON, COME ON! -MAKE THIS A FAST ONE!

GRANDPA.

-MM, BUMPER STEVENS.

-AUSTEN.

-YOU OWE ME A PRIME HOLSTEIN.

I EXPECT YOU TO MAKE IT RIGHT.

-WHO'S THIS YOU GOT WITH YOU?

YOUR ATTORNEY?

-AS MUCH ATTORNEY AS I'LL EVER NEED.

WE'LL PICK THE COW UP IN THE MORNING.

-HEY.

I'M NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE.

THAT FAMILY OWED ME RENT.

I TOOK THE COW.

WOULDN'T HAVE MADE IT ANOTHER WEEK.

TEETH'S ALL ROTTED.

-EXCEPT IT WAS MINE.

ON LOAN.

-YOU OLD FOOL.

WORK IT OUT WITH THEM.

-NO SIR.

YOU WORK IT OUT WITH ME.

-GIVE ME THAT.

-UP MIKE'S ASS, I WILL.

-I TOOK YOUR COW TO THE SLAUGHTERHOUSE THURSDAY.

TOUGH LUCK.

NOW, I'M IN THAT COMPETITION.

GIVE ME THAT AXE.

-IT'S ON LOAN.

TO ME.

TOUGH LUCK.

-BUMPER...

[LIGHT WHIMSICAL MUSIC]

*

-WHOSE MONEY?

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO GIVE ME SOME?

HOW ABOUT A TEN-SPOT?

MAYBE TWENTY?

OR MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO PLAY ME FOR IT?

GO ON.

TAKE A CARD.

-GET OUT OF HERE, HEADY.

MOVE ALONG.

-MAYBE I'LL TAKE A LOOK.

-NO!

YOU GET OUT OF HERE, OR YOU'RE HEADED FOR TROUBLE.

-TAKE A CARD.

-FINE I'VE GOT A TEN IN MY POCKET.

-GO ON.

-MAKE IT QUICK.

-SHUFFLE INTO THE DECK.

LET ME SEE THE DECK.

FOUR OF DIAMONDS.

FINE.

YOU WIN.

HERE'S YOUR MONEY, SEE YOU LATER.

-WHAT'S THIS?

-JUST A LITTLE GAME OF CHANCE.

YOU WANT TO PLAY?

-NO MA'AM.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THAT OUT BACK?

-SHOW HER YOUR BADGE, HONEY.

-NOT NOW.

-I AIN'T A-SCARED OF YOU.

-OH, IT'S QUIET OUT HERE.

-TOO QUIET.

-THE 114TH ANNUAL MAPLE SYRUP PRIZES.

[CLEARS THROAT]

NOW I KNOW ABIAH WASN'T ALTOGETHER PLEASED WITH

THE OUTCOME OF HER COURT CASE...

- J.W., DON'T PATRONIZE ME.

AWARD ME THE BLUE RIBBON I DESERVE.

I WANT TO GO HOME.

-ALRIGHT ABIAH.

SECOND PRIZE GOES TO...

AUSTEN KITTREDGE.

[APPLAUSE]

NO AUSTEN.

-I'LL TAKE IT.

-OKAY.

UH...

THIS YEAR'S BLUE RIBBON FOR MAPLE SYRUP GOES TO

ABIAH KITTREDGE.

[APPLAUSE]

-12 BLUE RIBBONS IN 14 YEARS.

OH, LADIES.

SAMPLE MY...

MY ANGEL FOOD CAKE.

-THOUGHT YOU'D WAIT FOR THE PRIZES.

-YOU'RE STILL HERE?

THOUGHT YOU'D BE OVER THE HILLS BY NOW.

-I SHOULD BE.

I THOUGHT I'D BUY MY DADDY A DRINK.

-HEH.

-I WON'T BE BACK.

-MM.

I GUESS YOU WON'T.

-I'M SAD TO SEE YOU GO, BUT SORT OF GLAD IN A WAY.

I DON'T HAVE THE STOMACH FOR THIS.

YOU KNOW, THE STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS...

DOESN'T RUN OUT ON A FEDERAL OFFENSE.

I HEARD AGENT SANDERS TELL YOU THAT.

WHILE HE WAS STANDING INCHES AWAY FROM THE $42,000.

-DON'T WORRY.

IT'S ALL IN THE CLEAR.

BUT YOU BETTER PROMISE NOT TO BREATHE A WORD TO ANYBODY.

-TO MY DEATH.

-I WILL KNOW.

-OF COURSE.

[LAUGHS]

-YOU ARE STILL AN ACCOMPLICE TO A MAJOR BANK ROBBERY.

-THANKS FOR THAT.

-[LAUGHS] NO.

-I GUESS YOU'LL BE OKAY IN MONTANA THEN?

-OH YEAH.

-WOW!

-YOU ADD THAT TO ABIAH'S EGG MONEY.

GET A GOOD EDUCATION, AUSTEN'S GRANDSON AUSTEN.

-I GOTTA GO.

WILL YOU BE OKAY?

-YEAH, GO AHEAD.

DON'T LOOK BACK.

I WON'T BE LOOKING BACK EITHER.

[MELANCHOLY MUSIC]

*

*

*

*

-WELL TUT, DID YOU SEE YOUR AUNT ELIZABETH OFF?

-THERESA'S GONE.

I...

HER PLACE IS EMPTY.

-WHY WOULD THEY STAY?

-I SAW HER AT THE FESTIVAL.

SHE DIDN'T SAY A WORD ABOUT MOVING, AND THEN...

I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WENT.

-YOU'LL SEE HER AGAIN.

-DO YOU THINK LIZ WILL FIND HARTLEY?

-LIZ IS WHO SHE IS.

TIMES CHANGE, MY DAUGHTERS NEVER WILL.

-FOR ONCE, MR. KITTREDGE, WE AGREE.

-STOP THE PRESSES.

-WHEN I WAS JUST...

18 YEARS OLD, TUT...

THIS MAN TIPPED HIS HAT TO ME.

OR AT LEAST I THINK HE DID.

-I WAS SCRATCHING MY HEAD, DAMN IT.

-I WAITED AND WAITED.

AND I FINALLY WORE HIM DOWN.

AND WE'VE BEEN WEARING EACH OTHER DOWN EVER SINCE.

I PRAY YOU NEVER KNOW LONELINESS, TUT.

-I'VE BEEN LONELY.

-YES.

YOU HAVE.

SO...

CAN WE...

BLAME LIZ FOR GOING BACK TO HER FIRST HUSBAND?

[SIGHS]

I'M GOING TO GO READ IN EGYPT.

-WHO LIVES HERE?

-THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD IN KINGDOM COUNTY, THAT'S WHO.

-THAT'S RIGHT.

AND REMEMBER, YOU HEARD IT FIRST FROM ME.

[SERENE MUSIC]

*

[PUMPING NOISE]

-OH, YOU TWO LOOK LIKE BARN CATS WHO JUST SWALLOWED THE

CANARY.

-WE HAVE A SURPRISE FOR YOU, MOM.

-I'M TOO OLD FOR SURPRISES.

-NOT THIS ONE!

-WELL WHAT IS IT?

-IT'S A VACUUM CLEANER!

-THERE'S NO PLACE TO PLUG IT IN.

AND THERE WON'T BE, AS LONG AS THERE'S A BREATH IN MY BODY.

-FINE, WE'LL TAKE IT BACK.

BUT YOU HAVEN'T HEARD ITS MAIN SELLING POINT.

-OF COURSE I HAVE.

EVERYBODY HAS.

-LABOR SAVING DEVICE.

GOES ANYWHERE.

FLOATS ON AIR.

PERFECT FOR THE YOUNG HOUSEWIFE WITH MORE IMPORTANT

THINGS TO DO LIKE GETTING HER NAILS DONE AND MARKETING.

-I'M NOT A YOUNG HOUSEWIFE, AND I DON'T THINK ABOUT MY

NAILS.

NO, I'VE WORKED HARD ALL MY LIFE AND...

I'M NOT ABOUT TO STOP NOW.

-THIS VACUUM CAN SUCK UP MORE CLUSTER FLIES IN ONE MINUTE

THAN YOU COULD SWAT IN A WEEK.

ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS POINT THE NOZZLE, YOU TURN ON THE

MOTOR, AND YOU SUCK THE LITTLE CUSTOMERS INTO OBLIVION.

BUT...

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY ELECTRICITY ANYWAY, SO...

-NO NO NO!

TELL ME THE PART ABOUT...

OBLIVIATING THE CLUSTER FLIES.

[SOUND OF VACUUM CLEANER RUNNING]

[SOUND OF VACUUM CLEANER RUNNING]

[UNEVEN BREATHING]

-TUT!

TUT!

-GRAM!

-GO CALL AN AMBULANCE.

MY HEART'S HURTING...

-AHH...

AHH..

[SHALLOW BREATHS]

[MOANING]

-AHH...

-PHONE THE TATRO,

THEY'LL COME AND GET YOU.

-NO, I'M STAYING RIGHT HERE.

-DO AS I SAY.

-BUT I'M SCARED, GRANDMA.

-WHAT DID I TELL YOU?

BEING BRAVE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH BEING UNAFRAID.

YOU'RE A BRAVE BOY.

-[SIGHS]

-DO YOU SLEEP IN YOUR HAT?

-WHAT I DO UP HERE AND WHAT I DON'T DO...

IS MY BUSINESS.

-I SAW GRAM.

SHE WANTS YOU TO DRIVE TO THE HOSPITAL AND TAKE HER HOME.

-DOES SHE, NOW?

[BREATHES SLOWLY THROUGH NOSE]

-I'M GONNA TELL GRAM YOU'VE BEEN SLEEPING IN YOUR HAT.

-TELL AWAY.

-SHE'S IN HERE, GRANDPA.

-AUSTEN.

-HOW IS SHE?

-SHE'S, UH...

SHE'S OLD, AUSTEN.

SHE'S WORN DOWN, LIKE THE REST OF US.

ONLY MORE SO FOR HAVING PUT UP WITH A DEVIL LIKE YOU ALL

THESE YEARS.

-SHE WANTS TO GO HOME.

JUICE DIDN'T TURN OUT TO BE QUITE THE HOLIDAY SHE'S

EXPECTED.

-YEAH.

WELL, YOU SPRING HER FROM HERE, I CAN'T GUARANTEE THAT

SHE'S GOING TO LIVE A WEEK.

-AND IF SHE STAYS?

-I CAN'T GUARANTEE MUCH EITHER WAY.

-GRANDPA.

-YOU WANT TO GO HOME?

-THANK YOU, TUT.

-CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?

-TEA, MAYBE.

UH...

LITTLE TOAST.

-I'LL DO IT.

[SOMBER PIANO MUSIC]

*

-[GASPS]

I SEE IT...

-WHAT, GRAM?

WHAT DO YOU SEE?

-[MOANING]

I SEE EGYPT!

[GASPING]

A WONDERFUL THING...

[GAGS]

[GASPS]

-GRAM'S GONE.

-WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ABOUT IT?

I CAN'T BRING HER BACK.

PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, SON.

SHE'S GONE.

-I FOUND THE GRAVE MARKER WITH MIRA'S NAME ON IT.

-I'VE SAID WHAT I HAD TO SAY.

-YOU BASTARD.

-WE'RE VERY SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS, FOLKS.

VERY SORRY.

HOW'S MR. KITTREDGE TAKING IT?

-FINE.

CAN'T YOU HEAR HIM?

-[CLEARS THROAT]

UH, HE'LL HAVE TO BE HERE FOR THIS.

-WE'LL GET HIM.

COME ON.

-[SPEAKING QUIETLY]

-GIRLS.

ROB, UH...

USUALLY THE READING OF THE LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT OCCURS

AFTER THE FUNERAL.

IN THIS CASE, THE WILL STIPULATES CONDITIONS FOR THE

SERVICE.

[DOOR OPENING]

AUSTEN.

WE JUST WANT TO OFFER OUR CONDOLENCES ALL...

-GET ON WITH YOUR BUSINESS.

I DON'T HAVE ALL MORNING.

-I, UH, ABIAH KITTREDGE, BEING OF SOUND MIND, WILL ALL MY

PROPERTY AND ASSETS TO MY HUSBAND, AUSTEN GLEESON

KITTREDGE, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY COLLEGE FUND FOR MY

GRANDSON, AND MY COLLECTION OF EGYPTIAN MEMORABILIA.

THE DISPOSAL OF MY REMAINS, AS WELL AS MY EGYPTIAN ARTIFACTS,

SHALL BE AS STIPULATED IN A PRIVATE LETTER TO MY HUSBAND,

TO BE FOUND IN THE TOP DRAWER OF MY WORK TABLE IN EGYPT.

[ABIAH'S VOICE] AUSTEN, IF I GO BEFORE YOU,

PLEASE CARRY OUT MY INSTRUCTIONS FOR BURIAL.

I AM ATTACHING PLANS FOR MY SARCOPHAGUS.

-WHAT'S IT SAY?

-THIS IS PRIVATE.

FOR MY HUSBAND.

ACROSS THE TOP.

YOU READ THE WILL.

IT'S A PRIVATE LETTER.

CLEAR OUT, BOTH OF YOU.

SERVICE WILL BE TOMORROW.

RIGHT HERE IN MRS. KITTREDGE'S PARLOR.

11 O'CLOCK SHARP.

-WHAT ABOUT THE CASKET? Y-YOU CAN'T...

-I'LL HANDLE IT.

-MY GREATEST DESIRE IS TO BE RETURNED TO THE EARTH WITH MY

MOST BELOVED ITEMS.

DO NOT MOCK THIS.

IN DEATH, THERE IS RECOGNITION, DIGNITY,

AND RESPECT.

YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL ABOUT YOU.

I DON'T ASK FOR LOVE, BUT ACCEPTANCE.

SO MANY YEARS, YOU SURELY UNDERSTAND ME WHEN I SAY I'VE

LOOKED FORWARD TO THIS.

THE WAR IS OVER.

IT COULD NOT LAST FOREVER.

FROM ONE ETERNITY TO ANOTHER,

ABIAH.

[HAMMERING SOUND]

-CAN I HELP YOU, GRANDPA?

-MM, COME UP HERE AND SEE THIS.

I WISH I HAD SIX MORE MONTHS SO THESE BOARDS COULD SEASON.

ALL I'M ABLE TO DO IS TO DOUBLE-CLEAT IT WITH THESE

SQUARE NAILS ALL THE WAY AROUND.

IF IT WORKS, IT WORKS.

SHE'S GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE HER CHANCES.

GO OUT IN THE WOODS AND CUT ME A LOAD OF SMALL CEDAR

AND BALSA.

-DO YOU WANT ME TO PICK UP ANY WILDFLOWERS?

-NO, JUST CUT THE BRUSH.

-GRAM KNEW THAT YOU BURIED MIRA UP HERE, DIDN'T SHE?

-WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?

THEY WERE GOING TO FLOOD THE WHOLE VALLEY IN LABRADOR.

YOUR GRANDMOTHER FOUND OUT.

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT.

GO CUT THE BRUSH.

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*

-DO YOU NEED SOME HELP?

-I DO, SON.

SHE'LL BE ALRIGHT.

I DOUBLE-CLEATED THE LID.

THAT'S OKAY.

I CAN DO THE REST.

-SON.

YOU COMING?

-I'LL BE THERE.

-HELP ME FINISH THIS UP.

WE'VE GOT COWS TO MILK.

-WHO LIVES HERE, OLD MAN?

WHO LIVES HERE, GRANDPA?

THE MEANEST OLD BASTARD IN KINGDOM COUNTY.

THAT'S WHO.

I HEARD IT FIRST FROM YOU.

[SERENE MUSIC]

*

*

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

*

[CALM MUSIC]

*

[SERENE MUSIC]

*

[UPBEAT MUSIC]

*

[MELANCHOLY PIANO MUSIC]

*