Original subtitles

Woman: So, uh, what are you doing this weekend?

Woman 2 (over phone): Nothing. What are you doing?

You wanna hang out?

Woman (on phone): Sure. What do you wanna do?

Man: Can I speak to your manager please?

Man 2 (on phone): Oh, definitely. I'm gonna place you on a brief hold.

‐Okay? ‐(Muzak playing over phone)

Man 3: Grandma, you can't say that.

(sneezes)

That's racist. That's always been racist.

‐Woman (over phone): Hello? ‐Jordan: Hello, this Roger Relay Services.

‐You're using a sign language interpreter. Is this Becca? ‐Becca (over phone): Yeah.

Hi, Becca! This is Kylie.

We met the other night at the party, remember?

Becca (over phone): Oh. Hi, Kylie. How are you?

It was really great to meet you the other night,

and you seem like a really creative person,

someone that would be a great fit for the Plethora community.

I wanted to help you get started.

Becca: Thanks, but I don't really think

it's a good time financially.

I don't wanna waste your time.

Oh, well, just to let you know a little secret,

there will never be a good time.

I have a question for you. Do you like your job?

Becca: Not really.

Kylie: Do you feel like they pay enough?

‐Becca: No way. ‐Kylie: That's how I felt.

I felt the same way.

Do you feel undervalued...

underappreciated, watching all the other people

succeed around you?

So, tell him that I want to rule out

Epstein‐Barr and mono,

before even saying the words chronic fatigue

because, uh...

Alexi (voiced by Jordan): Just talk directly to me like I'm here.

Oh, right. Uh, well, um...

Kylie (voiced by Jordan): When I first started in this Plethora business,

I felt the same, I doubted myself.

Can I do this myself?

‐But you know what? ‐Becca: What?

Kylie: I was not alone.

Plethora is made up of people who are like‐minded,

like you and me, and they wanna succeed.

(mutters): Fuckers.

No amount of money in the world is worth

our family being separated‐‐

That's from my journal. It's my private property.

Ex‐husband: Your journal was in my house.

‐My life has been fucked up since you left us! ‐You wanted me to read it.

Ex‐wife: You can't read my stuff!

Pip! He walked in and saw you making out with Harry.

Ex‐wife: What the fuck were you thinking?

‐He's only five! ‐I didn't know Pip was home!

Kylie (voiced by Jordan): You can make so much extra money.

I made $10,000 last month,

not to mention perks.

Becca (over phone): Oh, the perks?

Yes.

This year, I qualified for a car,

‐and a Plethora luxurious vacation‐‐ ‐Wait, hold on, wait.

The interpreter just has a question. I'm sorry.

‐Sorry, interpreter's back. ‐Kylie: Yes, it was a luxurious vacation

where I was swimming with dolphins.

Yeah, wow.

Jordan: So, here's what I'm gonna do.

I'm gonna send you an overnight sample pack today,

and you'll receive it tomorrow!

And then, you can sit with the products overnight,

and we'll follow up with the next steps.

How does that sound?

Maybe next time I see you.

Well, why don't I just send you a box

of one of these products tomorrow?

Please don't send me a box.

Why can't you just be a sister and support me?

Sister: Jordan, because you're a fucking mess!

Mm‐mm!

♪ ♪

(dogs barking)

(smooching)

‐(knocks on door) ‐I'm so excited to show you.

Okay, you're gonna love this.

I can't wait. I'm at the edge of my seat, man.

I'm sorry it's taken so long. The paint took a week to dry, and...

Fomo! Fomo, look!

It's like looking in a mirror.

Wow, man.

Veterinarian: I‐I was worried about the eye.

But I think it works. What do you think?

(Fomo whining)

The Guy: Uh...

What do you... Do you like it?

Aw, it's okay.

‐Cool. ‐I mean, I...

No, it's... cool. Cool.

Cool!

Cool. (laughing)

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

‐Okay. ‐Okay, okay.

No, you don't have to... like it...

or... anything.

‐Okay. ‐All right.

I'm gonna write one for antihistamine, twice a day,

and I'll also write one for a nasal spray just in case

‐the sneezing continues. ‐The Guy: Well, listen, man,

‐uh, thank you for... ‐Thank you.

that, and, uh, take this.

Here, just take it.

Y‐you don't‐‐ you don't have...

‐You don't have to like it. ‐No, I do, man.

‐I was experimenting with, you know, different stylistic‐‐ ‐I mean...

it doesn't really look like her.

(Veterinarian stammers)

‐It's the feeling of her. It's, you know... ‐(Fomo whining)

‐(Fomo vocalizing) ‐Veterinarian: What's going on?

(Jordan humming)

♪ ♪

‐(knocking on door) ‐Oh, come in!

(door opens)

‐Oh. ‐Hey!

(door shuts)

Want! Mm‐hmm. Okay.

‐Thank you. ‐No, you just said "fuck you."

‐Thank you. Thank you. ‐Oh. (chuckles)

Do I... I have edibles, yeah.

No, no. Do you want something to eat?

‐Oh. ‐Yeah?

‐Uh... ‐I have the perfect thing, this bar.

This company, Plethora, has changed my life.

You have to tell me what you think.

‐Okay, yeah. I got your text. ‐It's delicious.

Maybe I'll try it later. I'm not hungry right now.

‐Oh, okay. Yes, do. ‐I'll try it, I'll let you know what I think.

Okay, what can I do you for?

Uh, well, I'm...

pretty stressed, I'm, uh, I'm not sleeping.

Um... just‐‐ I have, like, you know,

‐muscle pain here, here... ‐Oh! Well, I got a CBD balm

that... everyone's got this, but so do I.

‐Oh! ‐That's 30 and 60 for the eighth.

Oh, ouch. All right, I'll take both.

‐Okay. ‐Yeah.

Having a party?

Jordan: Uh, sort of, not really.

It's not very crowded yet.

‐(intercom rings) ‐Oh, hold on.

Maybe that is my first... customer. Hello?

Man (over intercom): UPS. I got a package for 3B.

Jordan: Oh, send it up.

What do you think?

It's good, right?

Chewy.

It's chewy.

It's chewy.

♪ ♪

(quiet chattering)

Woman: We're gonna need another ice cream!

‐Jack: This looks great. ‐Woman: Yeah, I like it.

Jack: Yeah, it's cool. It looks good.

Jordan: ...the nutritional benefits weren't alone good enough,

I mean, the perks, the perks, yeah.

I have my eye on this Mediterranean cruise,

and I think I'll get it once I hit all the targets.

I'll be going soon.

Okay, so, um, uh, this is not gonna be approved.

The icing is a little, it's not over the‐‐

It needs to be over the line.

Do you mind doing it again?

(scoffs) Don't throw it until the end of the shoot!

What is it, someone's first day?

Jack: Hey! I just heard from Martha.

Uh, she says the CBD Christmas cookies don't look delicious.

And she doesn't wanna do the spatchcock turkey how‐to anymore.

Instead, she wants to do the perfect

leftover turkey sandwich as a "Good Thing."

Okay?

Make it nice or make it twice.

‐Photographer: Good, good, good. ‐Jack: Okay, it's getting there.

Just enough mess, perfectly imperfect, okay.

‐I'd love to get going on this. ‐I think it needs more mess.

It just needs to look more real.

‐Where's Alexi? ‐Jack: Where's Alexi?

Hi. Uh,

it looks great, um, but, uh,

can we get more drama on the left side of the sandwich?

Uh, more big crumbs.

Oh, yeah! Sure.

‐Jack: Great. ‐Thanks.

Jack: Yeah. On the left side there.

Uh‐huh, mm‐hmm.

Could we swap out that weird crumb

for one that's more poetic?

‐Jack: To the left! ‐Woman: To the left, to the... the left. Left, left, left.

‐The left, the left. Our left. ‐Left.

‐Our left. ‐No, not that one.

‐Jack: Of the sandwich. ‐Woman: The one behind it.

Alexi: This one? That one? That big one? Yep.

‐Jack: That's it. Yeah, that's great. Bingo. ‐Woman: Yep. That's great.

(sighs) You know what, maybe it was better with more crumbs.

Excuse me, you know what? Now, the ice cream's melting.

Oh. Hey, you what? I'll... I'll eat it,

if that's okay with everyone.

Woman: ...that napkin right there, the flowing linen is just...

‐Yeah, that's a little much. ‐Jack: Oh, that's good.

‐Thanks. ‐Okay. Let's get our shot off, please!

‐Hi. How's it going? ‐Hi, Martha.

It's going good. Yeah, real great.

‐Martha: Turkey sandwich. ‐Mm‐hmm.

How do the hands look?

You know, would you really wanna accept a sandwich

from hands that look like that?

‐Kind of unfriendly. ‐Yeah, I was thinking the same thing.

‐It looks like a claw. ‐I think you should switch them out.

No problem. We can do that.

Just need a new set of hands.

‐Who's that? ‐Oh, Jordan. She's our‐‐ Hey, Jordan!

Yeah, um...

‐Do you like her hands? ‐Martha: Yeah. Yeah, her hands are nice.

‐Yeah, yeah. ‐I mean, they look more normal.

‐They're not so thin. ‐Right, right.

Would you mind jumping in for this,

uh, for this photo shoot?

‐Martha loves your hands. Yeah. ‐Me? Oh, wow.

‐Thank you. ‐Jack: Really good hands.

Wow, um...

‐I'm the interpreter, so you‐‐ No, no. ‐Martha: That's okay.

‐Jordan: You could ask him. ‐Martha loves your hands, so‐‐

You can just go to makeup, and, yeah,

it'll be real quick. Oh, yeah, it's important.

‐Yes. Yes. Definitely. Oh my gosh, ‐Jack: Great! Great!

she's my interpreter. Up to you, use her if you want.

‐Okay, hurry, hurry 'cause we wanna get this shot done. ‐It'll be, yeah, super fast.

‐All right, I'll do it. ‐Jack: Great.

No, but her hands are good.

Otherwise, I think I would take

a few of those crumbs off the plate.

Yeah. Can we get some crumbs off the plate?

Martha: It's like using men's arms in pictures like this with hair.

Jack: Yeah, people don't want it. No.

Absolutely. No, her hands are the best.

Martha: And she doesn't mind, does she?

Jack: No.

This feels so good, you have no idea.

‐Oh, good! ‐Oh my gosh. Yes. I could sit here all day.

Have you heard of the company Plethora?

‐Uh... ‐They have such great moisturizers.

‐These are the leftovers, yes. ‐It's the best part.

‐You always have a party the next day. ‐Yeah, exactly,

with all your real friends. (laugh)

All right. Are we ready, Jordan?

‐Oh. Oh yeah! ‐We're ready for you. Great.

♪ ♪

This is my first time, so sorry.

Woman: Okay, you ready? Take a breath.

Good, all right, right there.

‐Jack: Hold it there. Terrific. ‐Three, two, one.

Very pretty.

‐What do you think? Oh really? ‐Truly delicious. Mm!

Now, this should've been the cover.

Why didn't we shoot these?

‐Oh, well... We can, yeah. Okay. ‐Let's!

‐No hard feelings? ‐Of course! It's all good.

(indistinct)

‐Oh. Thanks... ‐I hope it helps. Let me know.

Bye, Jessie, thank you.

Hi, Martha. Excuse me, thanks.

‐I just wanted to say thank you. ‐You are...

‐Jordan, the interpreter! Yeah! ‐Oh, oh, the hands!

‐The hands, the hands. Thank you very much. ‐Yes, the hands.

Oh, thank you, no, no, no. And I‐I really don't wanna take up

‐any of your time. Yeah, I know you're busy. ‐Kind of in a rush.

I just recently had a change in my life and it's just...

been incredible. Have you heard of the company Plethora?

‐No, no. ‐It's this incredible, incredible company.

It's changed my life.

It's, like, they have these beautiful supplements,

Endura skincare, and Enthralla...

‐(indistinct) ‐The‐the‐‐ just the philosophy and everything. I mean,

obviously you don't need because you have such‐‐

Y‐your skin is just so beautiful.

‐Uh‐uh! ‐What do you use?

It's so creamy.

‐So anyway, I just know... ‐Jesus.

you have a lot going on on your plate,

and you're, uh, overqualified

to be a sales rep. Sure,

and you're Martha Stewart and everything...

‐(indistinct) ‐but I have these supplements.

‐Oh, it's okay. I'm okay. ‐Are you sure?

‐Yeah, I'm good. But, good luck. ‐Okay. Yeah, thanks so much!

And we could form a partnership even, if you're interested.

(door opens, shuts)

Or not. Maybe.

♪ ♪

(mumbling)

(door shuts)

(indistinct chatter)

(chatter ends)

(sigh) Fuck... shit.

(cane rattling)

(indistinct TV chatter)

Here we go.

(door opens)

‐Ellen: Hello! ‐Victor: Hey.

Birdy.

‐How was your day? ‐Victor: Oh!

Glad to be home, let me just say that.

(sighs)

‐Hoo! Hi. ‐Hey.

‐Hey. (kiss) ‐Hi.

What's that?

This? Oh, it's a pizza cutter.

(chuckle) We‐we already got one of those.

Oh, but this one is way cuter.

‐Ah. ‐And, and it's sharp.

‐Ours was getting dull. ‐Oh,

‐okay. ‐All right.

‐I need to lie down. ‐Okay.

‐All right? ‐Let me help you. Here‐‐

‐Oh no, I'm good. ‐Need your cane?

‐No, I was close. Thanks. ‐All right.

Ellen: No, I know, I know. I really liked her, too,

but our main objective now

is to get him out of office,

and every vote counts.

Do you know he's still at 80%

approval rating with the Republicans?

I mean, so it really makes a difference.

We have to get everyone to get out and vote.

‐And if you need‐‐ ‐Uh, let me‐‐ let me help you with that, sweetie.

No, I'm okay. Thank you.

I'm good.

‐I appreciate it, but have your snack. ‐Be careful, okay?

No, excuse me, sir. Yes,

yes, I'm back.

And listen, to your point,

there's no doubt that our voting system is fragile,

but it's still our best shot on getting

someone into office who will legislate to protect

against foreign meddling.

(indistinct TV chatter)

‐(crunching) ‐And I don't think you're wrong.

It's very scary,

but to not show up at the polls

is letting them win without a fight.

‐And we've got to fight. ‐Birdy, let me help you.

♪ ♪

(indistinct TV chatter)

(sigh)

(gargling)

‐(beeping) ‐(gargling, spit)

Hey, Birdy!

Got some pretty fancy toothbrush in there.

‐Yeah? ‐Yeah.

Well, you know we still have, uh,

some specialist bills to pay.

Of course I know we still have bills.

So, I'm just saying...

fancy toothbrushes. (sigh)

I'm just saying I'm not left handed.

Okay. All right.

Any more, uh,

shit I can step in before I...

‐strap in? ‐No.

Okay. (laugh)

♪ ♪

Okay.

Good evening, Kali.

Oh wait, oh wait, wait, wait, before I forget.

‐Oh. ‐Oh, just one.

‐An invitation to Bella's birthday party this Saturday. ‐Oh, thank you.

‐Oh, Bella. ‐Super low‐key, up at our place, you know,

just some friends, couple of people from the building,

‐and we'd love to have you. ‐Oh, that's great.

And Ellen, too, if she's up for it.

‐Okay, sure. She's... ‐How's she doing?

‐She's doing really well. She's great. ‐Oh, glad to hear it.

And thank you for keeping us updated. You are such a rock.

‐Anyway, no pressure. You know, we'd love to have you. ‐Okay.

‐Bella especially. ‐(chuckle) Can't let my Bella down.

(laughs) You're so sweet.

‐Well, have a good night. ‐Okay, good night.

(siren wailing)

Um... you know,

I could just go to this party alone.

I'm not gonna back out now.

‐Okay. ‐Maybe we could go just for a little while.

Yeah, maybe just an hour or something.

(sighs)

♪ ♪

Cute, right?

‐Works pretty well. ‐Yeah.

(hiccup)

(hiccuping)

(sigh)

(hiccuping) Oh.

(sigh, hiccup) Damn it.

‐Victor: You want me to scare you? ‐I'm in hell.

‐No, I'm okay. ‐Ellen: Why don't you get him

a spoonful of peanut butter?

Do we have any peanut butter?

‐Yes, we have peanut butter. ‐Comin' right up.

I love peanut butter.

Victor: I don't know if it'll work though.

Or you could take a deep breath in,

and hold it until you can't any longer,

and then take in another deep breath after that.

‐(stifled hiccup) ‐And hold it, and exhale.

(exhales)

I think that wo‐‐ (hiccup)

‐(both sigh) ‐Victor: Here you go.

‐Gonna pass out. ‐Try that.

Ellen: These cookies are strong, right?

‐What's with the edibles, Birdy? ‐I'm not going to that party sober.

‐What party? ‐Victor: Uh, tenant in the building I work

is having a birthday for her kid, Bella.

Ugh. Measles city.

‐Ellen: I know! ‐I know but, uh...

‐(hiccup) ‐she also gave us $500

to the GoFundMe, so...

‐I don't wanna know how much people gave. ‐It's all right.

‐They just care. It's okay. ‐Victor.

Look, we'll just go for an hour. No big deal, all right?

The Guy: Um, I'm so sorry.

I was totally intending on giving to that. (hiccuping)

‐No, not you. ‐Please, yeah. It's totally...

‐Is it still going? ‐No, we met our goals.

‐You met your goal? ‐Yep.

‐Victor: Thank you. ‐And you're okay? (hiccup)

I'm doing great, thank you.

You know what? Weed's on me tonight.

‐No... ‐No!

I fund you!

‐We will pay. ‐Your money's no good. Put your money out there.

‐(gruff voice): Put your fuckin' money away. ‐(Victor laughs)

(party music, chatter)

(children shouting)

Girl: Mommy!

(indistinct)

Victor: It's called, um, Cameo.

They got everyone. Look, they have, um,

Stormy Daniels. They have Wesley Snipes,

Ice‐T. I had the Night King

from Game of Thrones

‐give Ellen a get‐well message, right? ‐Man: Shut up!

‐Right? She hated it. ‐(laughter)

‐Oh shit, is that Snoop Dogg? ‐Mm‐hmm.

Someone should pay Snoop Dogg to tell people to vote.

‐Victor: Yeah, yeah. ‐Woman: That's a good idea.

‐Whatever. ‐Man: Yo, my favorite Goonies!

♪ ♪

‐No, stop it! ‐No, no. It's really funny.

‐(conversation continues) ‐(woman laughing)

‐(children playing) ‐(toys clattering)

I don't know, man. I'm on the ground.

‐I don't deal with that up‐top‐‐ ‐Ellen: Hey.

Hey, Bluto.

Victor: Hey, you wanna leave? All right.

Oh, before you go, let's take a picture with Bella!

‐Victor: Okay. ‐Come on!

‐(Bella screeching) ‐(indistinct)

Kali: Come on, hey, hey, Bella! Bella! Hey, Bella!

‐Okay, smile baby, smile! Smile! ‐Smile!

(all gasping, shouting)

‐Victor: Oh, are you okay? ‐(crying)

‐Kali: You okay, sweetie? ‐(indistinct)

‐Kali: Yeah, she's fine, she's fine. Are you okay? ‐Yes. Thank you so much.

I'm glad she's okay.

‐Ellen: I'm fine. ‐(Victor sighs)

Just checked on Bella. Bella's gonna be fine, too.

‐Good. ‐Priti: Let's put some ice,

and this will help. Just press it to your nose.

‐I'm gonna get your glasses. ‐Oh.

‐Thank you. ‐Move this stuff out of the way.

That's pretty.

‐Where'd you get that bracelet? ‐Ellen: This?

‐Priti: Yeah. ‐I don't know, I can't remember.

I just ordered one like that on...

online.

Oh my God.

It was exactly like this.

‐The tiger's eye‐‐ ‐Ellen: No, I got it at a thrift store

somewhere on Fulton, I think.

It was custom.

(party chatter, music continues)

That's odd.

‐(children yelling) ‐Because I...

Remember I asked you if I had a package

and you said it never came,

like... couple of weeks ago,

‐do you remember that? ‐Yeah.

Okay...

Did you take my package and give it to her?

‐No. No, no, no. Absolutely not. ‐I don't know what to...

‐That's my bracelet. ‐Victor: Well, there must be

‐some misunderstanding, right? ‐I'm sorry, but I don't understand how she‐‐

No, hold onto that.

Here.

‐Wh... ‐Ellen: Let's go.

Birdy!

Priti: I don't understand.

‐(traffic noise) ‐(Ellen sighs) Couple of steps‐‐

‐I got your cane, I got your cane. ‐Okay, thanks.

What the fuck was that?

‐W‐was that her bracelet? ‐Yes.

What do you mean yes?

‐How did you get it? ‐I took a package from the mail room.

(sighs) You stole her package?

‐I didn't know it was a bracelet. ‐And then you wore it here?

‐You wore it here. Oh, you forgot. ‐I forgot!

‐Yes, I forgot. I didn't realize. ‐(sighs) What do you mean?

What do you mean you forgot? That's is my fucking job!

It's the only one I took from here.

Oh my God! Oh my God.

‐The only one I took from here, I promise. ‐All those packages.

All that stuff.

‐All that stuff, Ellen! ‐Other buildings,

‐other stoops. ‐(sighs) You're stealing!

Oh, Amazon has more money than God.

‐They'll just send things again. ‐What are you talking about?

What are you talking about?

(sighs) What are you doing?

‐I'm calling a Lyft. ‐No, no. I mean,

what the fuck is going on with you?

Did you set up a GoFundMe to get laid?

‐Excuse me? ‐Nothing.

No, you're fucking right, nothing.

That's ridiculous, Ellen. No.

‐No! ‐You know what's ridiculous?

Having a stroke and cancer on your friends' dime.

I don't know why this is such a big deal!

They care about us! They know we need help!

We have bills!

I've got bills! They're my bills!

‐Seriously? ‐Seriously.

Fuck you.

Seriously, fuck you.

Fuck you.

Jesus Christ. I cannot believe you did this.

Oh God...

What is taking him so long?

‐Six minutes. ‐Well, let's go.

Let's not do this in front of my building, please.

Can we take this down a couple of doors?

‐Okay, okay! ‐Hurry up! Hurry up.

Um, there's just so fast I can go.

God...

I can't believe you did this.

Here, take‐take your cane. Take your cane.

I am so fucking furious.

(chuckles)

(laughing)

(sighs, continues laughing)

‐Oh my gosh, it's been so long... ‐What? Oh.

since you got mad with me.

Oh, it's amazing. (chuckles)

Yeah. It's nice to have you angry with me again.

Do you know that it's been ages?

Like a regular couple,

being mad at each other, and having things, you know...

It's like‐‐ It's so nice.

Finally. Like, hello?

(grumbles) Stop.

Come on. Come on.

‐This is real now. ‐Yeah, this is real.

This is me.

(muffled) I'm sorry.

(sighs)

(sighs) Okay.

What'd you get me for Christmas?

‐None of your fucking business. ‐(laughing)

(chuckling) Oh, you're fucking crazy.

(laughing)

♪ ♪

(both laughing)

(kiss)

("Aonde Voce Vai" by Antonio Adolfo playing)

THE GUY: What's this guy's deal?

MAN: This guy is a psychiatrist shaman,

and he's in a symbiotic relationship with a demon.

♪ (PSYCHEDELIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

WOMAN: Do you even like me?

Or do you just like not being alone?

MAN 2: Don't you get lonely?

Yeah, but it's more like solitude.

‐Celibate? ‐Not actively, but not incel.

♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪

(BICYCLE BELL RINGS)