Original subtitles

When you go to the ball...

you have to learn how to dance like a princess, right?

1, 2, 3... 1, 2, 3...

- 1, 2, 3... - Yeah!

What are you gonna wear today?

- I'm gonna wear... - You're gonna wear...

- I'm gonna wear... - A bucket on your head.

- No! - 1, 2, 3... No?

- And a barrel round your bottom. - No!

- And cloth bags for shoes? - Nooo!

1, 2, 3... 1, 2, 3...

1, 2, 3... 1, 2, 3...

Good morning.

Hey buddy!

Want something to eat?

No. I'm not hungry.

Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah.

Franklin?

Hey. It's me. I just wanted to leave a message.

Do you think we could make some time to talk later

just the two of us without kids?

I really wanna work this thing out.

Okay? I miss you.

Eva Khatchadourian!

It's a lot.

Look, Eva.

I don't really care who you are

or what you've done as long as you can type and you can file.

You can have this job.

Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you.

I wont let you down. I promise you. Thank you.

- Thank you so much. - Sure.

See you Monday.

Great. Thank you.

Looks like someone is having a nice day?

Enjoying yourself?

I'm sorry?

I hope you rot in hell, you fucking bitch!

Jesus. What the hell was that? Are you ok?

No, no, no, it's nothing. Its really... its nothing.

- Let me call an ambulance. - No, no, it was my fault.

- But she just... - No, no, I'm fine.

Eva, when are you coming home?

I missed you.

I love you.

Promise me you'll never go away again.

I will never, never, never go away again.

Promise me. Promise me

you'll never go away again.

Is it safe?

No, it's not safe.

Sure?

Are you sure about this?

This really happened?

I can see, I can feel it...

We did it.

I'm gonna need these processed today, Eva.

Uh, but today my afternoon off.

You remember? I told you.

Ah shit, that's right.

- Look, give these to Massughi. - Sure.

- Hi Eva. - Hey, Al.

No, let go of me! Let go of me, man!

- Get off me! - Keep walking.

Hey lady. Lady. Lady. Please help me! I didn't do nothing, man!

Get off of me!

Eva, you can stop holding back.

Stop holding back, Eva.

Eva!

Rise and shine.

It's late, Eva.

The day is almost over.

- Hiii! - Don't pick him up. Please don't pick him up.

I just put him down, Franklin.

Hi.

There he is. You wanna play?

You wanna play?

It's alright.

Just rock him a little bit. He's alright.

Do you think I'm exaggerating?

You just have to rock him a little bit.

There's my little dude!

Jesus! All 12?

- I'll take them as they are. - But they are totally broken...

I will take them as they are!

You're gonna be a good looking boy.

All the girls are gonna love you.

I know it. Don't wake up. Don't wake up.

Can you say "mommy"?

"mom-my", "mommy", Kevin?

Can you say "ball"? "ball"? "ba-", "ba-", "ba-".

"Ball"?

No? Okay.

I'm gonna throw it to you, and you're gonna roll it back to me, okay?

Okay.

Roll it back to mommy.

Roll it back. Roll. Roll it back.

Okay, okay.

Roll it back, okay? Roll it back.

Roll it back. Roll it back.

When he was a baby, he never stopped screaming.

I thought maybe it had damaged his hearing.

No, his hearing is fine.

But shouldn't he be talking by now?

I read somewhere that non-verbalizing was the...

an early sign of autism.

He has none of the tell-tale rocking signs.

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

He's a fluffy little boy, isn't he?

But there is nothing wrong with him.

Thank you.

Okay.

Roll it back to mom.

Okay. Gonna roll it back again.

That was really good, Kevin.

Okay. Here we go. Okay?

Okay?

"E" is for elephant, large as a house,

he's big as can be, not small as a mouse.

Can you say "Elephant, Kevin? "Elephant"?

"Elephant".

Kevin!

Kevin? Can you say "mommy" for me?

No!

- "mommy"? - No!

- Just say "mommy". - No.

Trick or treat?

Trick or treat? Hey lady. We know you're in there.

I don't like that!

I don't like that!

Mommy was happy before little Kevin came along. Do you know that?

And now mommy wakes up every morning...

and wishes she was in France!

That elevator is a death trap.

He needs a yard, somewhere he can toss a ball,

fill a pool.

But I love New York.

Come on!

You sound like a bumper sticker.

It's a matter of priorities, Eva.

He's only gonna be a kid once.

You can house hunt all you want.

I'm telling you, I'm not leaving the city.

Kevin, stop that. That's enough.

Let mommy and daddy talk.

Kevin, quit that!

You have your family room here.

Master bedroom is back there and two huge walking closets.

The bathroom is amazing.

Here we are guys.

Our very own castle.

I'm gonna go and grab some lunch. Does anybody want anything?

Hey! Hey! Wait up! Ms. K!

Hey. It's me.

Soweto.

Hi there.

I just wanted to see how you were.

I'm fine. Thanks.

You look well.

Yeah. The doctors are saying there's a chance I might walk again.

That's great.

You take care, ms. K.

You too.

Come on, come on!

Die! Die!

No! No! No!

- Die! - How do you jump?

Die!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Die!

Hey Kev? Are you out there?

Kevin?

Kevin, you hear that? Dad goes pee pee.

You can do that too.

So you want a connector right there.

You see? And click on that link and it should open right up.

And If it doesn't... we'll try it again.

- So you left click. Wanna give it a try? - Yes.

- No, no. - I'm sorry.

- Right click, right there. - Yeah.

See that? It comes up.

Right. Yeah, thanks. I think I got it.

Thank you for your help.

I pooped.

Hey buddy. What?

You pooped?

Oh okay. Here let me help you.

Okay.

Go to your room. I'll be right there.

Let's not wake up mommy.

Go on! Go on, buddy.

These scribled squares of paper. They are dumb.

Everybody needs a room of their own.

You have your room. This is the mother's room.

I can help you make your room special, if you'd like.

What do you mean, "Special"?

Well, so it looks like your personality.

What personality?

I think you know what I mean.

They're dumb.

No, no, no. I mean it's good.

You don't need me to do that?

And... and the guy...

Okay.

Well, I mean if you handle the lot...

I could.

Really?

Well. That all sounds great.

Okay, John.

Okay. I'll talk to you later. Goodbye.

Kevin?

Kevin?

What else do you have to say?

Go wash your face!

He said, he's really sorry.

And that he was only trying to help make it special.

Do you remember how you got that?

It's the most honest thing you ever did.

Do you know how they potty train cats?

They stick their noses in their own shit.

They don't like it.

So they use the box.

Okay. Let's work on our counting.

- What comes after 3? - 9.

- What comes after 7? - 71.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10,

11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20,

21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30,

31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40,

41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50.

Now, can we quit?

There.

You can add that together if you think you're so smart.

You did not...

You did not...

Are you enjoying yourself?

I can see the doctor by myself.

I have to tell you something, Eva.

It's a brave boy you've got there.

- Thank you. - That's fine.

What mamma did was very, very wrong.

And she's so, so sorry.

Kev? Kev, hold on a sec!

Kev?

Kevin?

Hey Kev. What happened?

I broke my arm.

How did you brake your arm?

I had poopy pants.

Mommy went to get wipes.

I fell off the changing table onto my dump trucks.

Mom took me to doctor Goldbutt.

It's all my fault.

No, don't be silly.

You can't watch him every second of the day.

Franklin...

Unbelievable.

How did you get him to do that?

Well, whatever it was it worked.

Not yet.

Okay.

I love you, kiddo.

I don't like that. Turn it off.

Honey. Do you mind if we stop over at the store?

I wanna go home.

It's just that I need to pick up...

Home it is.

Hi guys!

Hi Dad. How was work? Did you take any cool pictures?

Eva, he is just a boy.

He's a sweet little boy.

That's what boys do.

Mom is fat!

When did you... When were you gonna tell me?

Soon. Now.

How am I part of the decision now?

What am I supposed to say now?

So, the daddy bear plants his seed in the mommy bear

and it grows into an egg.

Is this about fucking?

Do you know what that means?

The boy puts his pee pee in the girl's doo doo.

Well...

Haven't you ever wished you had somebody around to play with?

No.

You might like it.

What if I don't like it?

Then you get used to it.

Just because you're used to something...

doesn't mean you like it.

You're used to me.

Yes, well...

In a few months we're all gonna get used to somebody new.

Beautiful.

Hey Kev. Come on and meet your little sister.

This is your brother. It's Kevin.

It's your big brother.

Yes, that's right.

It's Kevin. Yes, yes...

Kevin! Don't do that.

No, Kevin. That's not nice.

No problem dear.

We're getting snacks, okay? Come on.

Christ! To Ecuador? For 2 months? Why can't they send someone else?

I really wanna work this deal.

Then he makes up his own little language, and that is annoying.

He has trouble communicating. A lot of kids do.

And you see this as some kind of personal vendetta?

It's not good for him.

Franklin, pick up the god damn phone!

Pick up the god damn phone.

...13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19...

...20, 21, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27...

Please. Please. Let me have a drink. Please

Kevin?

Kevin!

Honey?

Are you ok?

I'm sorry mom.

Not to worry, sweetheart.

You couldn't help it.

"By my soul," cried Gilbert.

"Aren't thou the devil in blue to shoot in that way?"

"Nay," posed Robin, laughing. "Not quite so ill as that I trust."

"Then he took up another shaft..." Are you okay, honey?

Then he took up another shaft, and fitted it to the string.

Again he shot.

Again, he smoathed the arrow close beside the center.

The third time, he losed his bowstring

and dropped the arrow just betwix the other two,

and into the very center,

so that the feathers of all three were ruffled together

seeming from a distance to be one big shaft.

And now a low murmur ran all along the great crowd.

Hey champ. How are you doing?

Feeling better?

Go away. I'm tired.

Oh. Okay.

Sure thing, buddy. You just get some rest, okay?

Don't stop reading, mom.

280 score shafts were shot in all

and so deftly were they sped, that when the shooting was done

each target looked like the back of a hedgehog...

when a farm dog snuffed at it.

Good afternoon, ma'am.

I hope this isn't an inconvenient time.

Well, it is actually.

Well, we just have a couple of quick questions for you.

What is it about?

Do you know where you are spending the afterlife?

Oh, yeah. I do as a matter of fact.

I'm going straight to hell.

Eternal damnation.

Thank you for asking. Okay?

Hey honey. Let me help you with that.

I can dress myself. Can you leave?

Sure.

I'm glad you're feeling better.

Do you want some more of that chowder for lunch?

Whatever.

- Or grilled cheese sandwich? - I don't give a rat's ass.

Thanks Dad, this is so cool.

You're welcome, buddy.

Right. Here we go. In the middle.

Ooooh. Almost. Here.

Take that one. Try again.

Use your finger...

Keep your eyes in the middle.

Good shot, Kev.

You're a natural.

Perfect.

Thanks Dad.

Right.

It's like this.

You wake up.

Then you watch TV.

You get in the car, then you listen to the radio.

Then you go to you little job or your little school

but we're not gonna hear about that on the 6pm news.

Why?

Because nothing is really happening.

Then you go home and watch some more TV.

Or maybe it's a fun night, and you go out

and you watch a movie.

I mean it's got so bad, that half the time

the people on TV,

inside the TV, they're watching TV.

And what are all these people watching?

People like me.

And what are all you doing right now?

You're watching me.

Don't you think you would have changed the channel by now

if all I did was getting "A" in geometry?

Me and Kevin were plaiying "Christmas kidnapping".

Kevin!

Kevin, you're my friend! You're my friend.

Beat it, Celia. Get me a soda.

Not that, you retard.

Get me a Root Beer.

What ?

Thank you, Celia. I was thirsty.

Hey, you wanne know a secret?

Come closer.

Do you know who else is thirsty? You don't?

It's the vacuum monster.

Cut it out!

- Hey troops! - Daddy!

Ho, ho, ho. See what I got! Kev, come here. Give me a hand.

Yeah, sure dad.

- You wanna dance? - No thanks, Harland.

- Come on. Just one. - I don't dance, really.

Where do you get off, you stuck up bitch?

Do you think anyone else is gonna want you now?

Come on. Stay for another drink.

Come on. Come on.

- Are you excited? - Yeah.

Can we leave a carrot for the reindeer!

- Should we? - Yeah.

Kevin!

Didn't I see you at the bookstore today?

No.

Oh, I could have sworn.

By the way, are you doing anything on Friday?

Why?

I just thought we might do something together.

For fun.

Like, do what?

Maybe take you for dinner.

Or play around with miniature golf?

Okay.

Why didn't you bring a coat?

You just can't get uncomfortable enough, can you?

Uncomfortable? With my own mother?

Whenever I see fat people, they are always eating.

Dont' give me any of this "slower metabolism thyroid gland" crap.

It's food.

They are fat because they eat the wrong food.

Too much of it, and all the time.

You know, you can be kind of harsh sometimes.

You're one to talk.

Yeah, I am.

I wonder where I got it.

Well, you won.

So. What next, momsy?

We're gonna go home. You're gonna get changed into something reasonable.

And I take you to dinner.

Great.

We're going to dinner.

I was hungry.

I'm a growing boy, you know.

I'll have a calorie salad,

steak, medium rare, and a bottle of Merlot.

Very well.

So, how is school going?

It's going.

on a course schedule.

How about the teachers? Are there any of them...

Right, right, what bands am I listening to these days?

Next you can read all about if there isn't some cute little cunt

in the front row who's got me itchy.

Then you can segway into the whole, it's all up to me of course

but before balling the chick in the hallway I might decide to way until I'm ready.

Right around dessert, you can ask about drugs

Real careful, like

cause you don't want to scare me into, like, lying my head off.

So you have to say, like, how you experimented.

Then finally once you've sucked up that entire bottle of wine,

you can go all gooey eyed

and say how nice it is to spend quality time together,

then scooch over and put your arm around my shoulder.

Give it a little squeeze.

Fuck!

- Your computer is fucked, isn't it? - Yeah. It's fucked.

And so are all the ones at work. I guess I deserved it.

- Why would you let out something like that? - I collect them.

Isn't that a weird thing to collect?

I don't like stamps.

But what is the point?

There is no point.

That's the point.

No, it really hasn't been any trouble at all.

Everybody is bringing a dish.

Oh. That's him now. I got to go. You have a great day.

Bye, mom.

Merry Christmas.

Alright, Kev. You're next.

Can you guess what it is?

That's a series 7. The guy in the store said it was the best one.

- Gee, dad. Thank you so much. - Merry Christmas.

What did you have for breakfast?

Had a good day, Snuffles?

Did you hear that thump?

That's a powerful thing, man.

Celia!

Come on, honey. Time for bed Here we go.

I thought I closed the door.

Kevin said I was stupid, and he was right.

You're not stupid, honey.

Don't you worry. We'll find him. Now you scoop down. Come on.

Cozy?

I'm sure Snuffles has gone to the big pet store in the sky.

- Don't say that! Don't say that! - Yes. It's the truth!

Dearly beloved,

We are gathered here to mourn mr. Snuffles...

Stop it!

Who will... tragically early...

So daddy and mommy were looking for him the whole night.

And you know why we couldn't find him?

Because Snuffles has gone to live in the garden.

He's living in the garden now,

with a whole bunch of new animal friends.

Celia.

Okay, give me the spoon.

So, they're having a big party tonight...

with the chipmunks, and the squarrels, and the racoons...

and they're eating nuts, and berries,

and they're gonna have a whole bunch...

Why did you leave the drain stuff out?

I didn't.

- I put it way. - Then how did it get out?

Ask Kevin.

Kevin did it.

You need to go talk to someone.

Uhm Kev. Mom has something else she wanted to tell you.

I wanted to...

thank you for calling the ambulance.

And?

And...

I was concerned that you might be feeling responsible.

Why is that?

Because you was supposed to be looking after her.

We just don't want you to blame yourself.

No. I don't... I never said I did.

She's gonna need a glass eye, Kevin.

So, we would appreciate you looking after her,

and any namecalling...

You don't really remember being a kid much do you, dad?

Celia is just gonna have to suck it up.

I thought you didn't like those.

Well, they're a... Now what do you call it...

an acquired taste.

I'm so sorry.

There you go.

Okay.

Thank you, mommy.

- Hey kiddo. You're going to practice? - Yeah, you know it.

- Hey Celia, you wanna come collect arrows? - No!

So... What do you want to do?

Let's wait for the school year to end,

and make arrangements for this summer.

At least the custody is a no-brainer.

Is it?

You've decided?

Eva, there's nothing left to decide.

It already happened.

- I needed a drink of water. - Hi, Kev.

Listen, buddy,

it's easy to misunderstand something if you hear it out of context.

Why would I not know the "context"?

I am the context.

- You have to appeal to reject punitive damage. - No.

You'll lose everything. The business, your house.

I hate the house. I always have.

You'll rot in hell!

A personal for Kevin Khatcha... dourian?

- Careful, it's heavy. - It is?

- Have a nice day. - You too.

What are these for? You never ride your bike.

I got these for a song of the web.

You make a bundle on them at school.

Like Donald Trump, huh.

I'll take you back to my ship.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

Ready for the big dip?

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.

I'm charmed to meet you, young lady

- Yeah. - Did you eat all your cereal?

- Yes. - Did you eat all your cereal?

Alright.

You're a little clammy. Are you okay?

Never better.

Hey. Only three days to go till you're 16.

We should do something. How about Sunday?

I don't know.

I might be tied up.

Come clean up some of this mess and then we're gonna get dressed and go.

I do not want to go to school.

I know, but daddy have to take a shower and then we'll go.

Say goodbye!

Do you think we could make some time later to talk. Just the two of us,

without the kids?

I really wanna work this thing out.

Doesn't Kevin go to Gladstone High?

Franklin...

Pick up the god damn phone! Franklin...

I have my son in here.

Kevin?

Kevin!

Kevin!

Kevin!

Lauren!

Franklin?

Celia?

Franklin?

Celia?

You don't look happy.

Have I ever?

I'm almost 18, aren't I?

What is it?

Going to the big school making you nervous??

Nervous?

Do you know anything about those places?

Well. You managed it all so well.

A child of a minor. Out of your head on prozac.

You'll be out of here in a couple of years.

Do you know what day it is today?

Why the let me come see you on a monday?

Sure. It's my anniversary.

Two years.

Plenty of time to think about it.

I want you to tell me why.

I used to think I knew.

Now I'm not so sure.

Time is up.