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1
00:00:00,100 --> 00:00:02,636
♪ ♪
2
00:00:06,473 --> 00:00:07,407
(tires screech)
3
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:09,042
Come on, Maggie.
4
00:00:09,109 --> 00:00:12,012
(panting)
Hi. Sorry we're late.
5
00:00:12,079 --> 00:00:14,715
This is Maggie.
We're here for our first day.
6
00:00:14,781 --> 00:00:18,185
Hello, Maggie.
And who will be picking her up?
7
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:21,054
W�� A�After she falls down?
8
00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,056
No, at the end of the day.
9
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,925
Wait, I don't stay with her?
10
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,294
Research shows
pre�toddlers learn best
11
00:00:27,361 --> 00:00:29,229
in a parent�free environment.
12
00:00:29,296 --> 00:00:32,065
Unless you want to stunt
her growth, which is great.
13
00:00:32,132 --> 00:00:34,234
(quietly):
We're not supposed to judge.
14
00:00:34,301 --> 00:00:36,236
No, no, it's not that.
15
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,739
I just don't want Maggie
to feel abandoned.
16
00:00:38,805 --> 00:00:41,575
(giggling)
17
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:43,577
So, we'll see you at 4:00.
18
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,079
Oh. Okay, then.
19
00:00:46,146 --> 00:00:50,150
Hmm. Now what will I do
with the rest of my day?
20
00:00:50,217 --> 00:00:53,420
I know.
I'll ask my favorite mommy blog.
21
00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,156
Hmm. Hmm.
22
00:00:56,223 --> 00:00:58,425
Now turn that resistance
all the way up!
23
00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:02,062
Come on! I want to see
you bitches suffer!
24
00:01:02,129 --> 00:01:04,097
(cheering)
25
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:05,933
(quietly): Am I the only one
who heard that?
26
00:01:05,999 --> 00:01:07,267
I love it.
27
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:09,937
It's like being coached
by the voice inside my head.
28
00:01:10,003 --> 00:01:13,574
Spin yourselves to death,
you land manatees!
29
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:16,109
(cheering)
30
00:01:16,176 --> 00:01:18,779
(groans) Mm.
31
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,013
(humming)
32
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:24,017
Paint harder,
you sausage�fingered no�talents!
33
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:26,119
(cheering)
34
00:01:26,186 --> 00:01:29,089
"Sex�prise
your man at work."
35
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,190
Mm... Hmm?
36
00:01:30,257 --> 00:01:31,792
What are you doing here?
37
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:36,430
Maybe you could give me
a safety inspection.
38
00:01:36,496 --> 00:01:39,032
Oh, my God, I can't believe
this is happening.
39
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:41,301
I'm so sex�prised!
40
00:01:41,368 --> 00:01:44,037
(quietly): There's security
cameras everywhere,
41
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,807
so we'll have to
snuggle under the desk.
42
00:01:46,873 --> 00:01:48,976
MAN (over speaker):On top of the desk, please.
43
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:50,143
Oh!
44
00:01:50,210 --> 00:01:53,246
Thanks, Jerry!
Nice. Real cool.
45
00:01:53,313 --> 00:01:57,384
(sighs)
Now how do I fill the day? Hmm.
46
00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,052
What's Well Plus Good?
47
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:00,420
It's pronounced "Well and Good."
48
00:02:00,487 --> 00:02:03,190
Ugh, why is everyone
talking to me?
49
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,192
Well, if all these people
want to work here,
50
00:02:05,258 --> 00:02:07,260
maybe I want to work here.
51
00:02:09,162 --> 00:02:10,931
All right, go to tablet seven
52
00:02:10,998 --> 00:02:13,600
to take your pre�application
ethics assessment.
53
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:15,035
Cool hair, by the way.
54
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:18,105
You think that my hair is coo?
55
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:20,874
(chuckles)
Well, thank you, Lauren.
56
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:23,877
Oh, by the way,
your name tag is upside down.
57
00:02:23,944 --> 00:02:25,445
Mm, thank you.
58
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,681
You're the only person
to mention that.
59
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:39,226
Ooh, major mom vibes.
She's perfect.
60
00:02:39,292 --> 00:02:42,229
"I always never lie."
61
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:46,099
Hmm. Two.
"I sometimes always never lie."
62
00:02:46,166 --> 00:02:49,870
"If I never found a wallet,
I would always give it back."
63
00:02:49,936 --> 00:02:52,105
What color is the wallet?
64
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:55,075
Marge Simpson.
There was never a test.
65
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:57,044
Except there always was.
66
00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:59,880
�There wasn't?
�And you passed.
67
00:02:59,946 --> 00:03:02,315
Welcome to
the Well and Good family.
68
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:05,152
The rest of you can go.
Your résumés will be deleted.
69
00:03:05,218 --> 00:03:07,387
(others grumbling)
70
00:03:07,454 --> 00:03:09,856
I'm the only one you hired?
71
00:03:09,923 --> 00:03:12,726
You're the only one
we partnered with.
72
00:03:12,793 --> 00:03:13,960
Hmm.
73
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:17,731
Okay, so I work here now.
74
00:03:17,798 --> 00:03:19,700
I never asked what we sell.
75
00:03:19,766 --> 00:03:21,068
I can figure this out.
76
00:03:21,134 --> 00:03:25,706
Hmm. Candy? Bath bombs?
Blowtorches?
77
00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:28,108
$30 bottles of soda?
78
00:03:28,175 --> 00:03:29,376
Uh, excuse me.
79
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:32,212
Uh, do you recommend
the tincture or the oil?
80
00:03:32,279 --> 00:03:35,549
I�� The�the tincture
is more expensive, I guess.
81
00:03:35,615 --> 00:03:37,718
Look, this is about you.
82
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:40,587
And taking care of you.
I think.
83
00:03:40,654 --> 00:03:44,224
So you have
to put yourself... first?
84
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:47,060
Well, your no�frills,
fumbling sales pitch
85
00:03:47,127 --> 00:03:50,030
has won me over.
I'll take both. Yes...
86
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:53,266
Wow, girl, you just made
a hundred�dollar sale.
87
00:03:53,333 --> 00:03:55,102
You're gonna fit in great here.
88
00:03:55,168 --> 00:03:58,305
Thing is, what does here sell?
89
00:03:58,371 --> 00:04:00,307
Is this what RadioShack is now?
90
00:04:00,373 --> 00:04:03,076
Mm, no. We're a high�end
cannabis boutique.
91
00:04:03,143 --> 00:04:05,145
You sell pot?!
92
00:04:05,212 --> 00:04:06,646
Technically, I check I. D. s.
93
00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,215
You sell pot.
94
00:04:09,483 --> 00:04:11,384
(gasps)
95
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,153
I'm a drugs dealer!
96
00:04:13,220 --> 00:04:15,922
Mm, cannabis is legal
in this state now.
97
00:04:15,989 --> 00:04:17,657
Well, so is water�skiing,
98
00:04:17,724 --> 00:04:19,826
but that doesn't mean
I have to sell it!
99
00:04:19,893 --> 00:04:21,661
I'm sorry.
100
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:24,064
Marge, don't leave, seriously.
101
00:04:24,131 --> 00:04:25,599
Like, I'm asking.
102
00:04:25,665 --> 00:04:30,070
Drederick Tatum! (gasps)
I own your countertop grill.
103
00:04:30,137 --> 00:04:32,005
Oh, take care not to use
metal utensils
104
00:04:32,072 --> 00:04:33,440
on the non�stick surfaces.
105
00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,109
But anyway, after
my boxing career ended,
106
00:04:36,176 --> 00:04:37,444
I was in a lot of pain.
107
00:04:37,511 --> 00:04:39,179
Specifically,
in my punching hands
108
00:04:39,246 --> 00:04:40,614
and my blocking face.
109
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,183
But following a regimen
of CBD oil
110
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,685
and medicinal hits
from a Pikachu bong,
111
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,954
I was able to enjoy life again.
112
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:51,224
Which inspired me to create
Well and Good Healing Emporiums.
113
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:55,195
But pot is for Cheeches...
and Chongs.
114
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:56,630
Marge, it's not about
getting high.
115
00:04:56,696 --> 00:04:58,031
It's about wellness.
116
00:04:58,098 --> 00:05:01,001
And that's why I've hand�picked
the perfect team here.
117
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:02,402
I'm an expert in cannabinoids
118
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,404
and cutting�edge
delivery systems,
119
00:05:04,471 --> 00:05:07,007
aka infusers, decarboxylators,
120
00:05:07,073 --> 00:05:09,309
transdermals
and pet suppositories.
121
00:05:09,376 --> 00:05:11,244
And I'm super hot.
122
00:05:11,311 --> 00:05:12,979
And what do you need me for?
123
00:05:13,046 --> 00:05:14,648
Marge, people know
you want to help them,
124
00:05:14,714 --> 00:05:16,049
that it's safe here.
125
00:05:16,116 --> 00:05:18,051
Not some place
for Cheeches and Chongs,
126
00:05:18,118 --> 00:05:19,486
as you so recently put it.
127
00:05:19,553 --> 00:05:22,856
Uh, I'm sorry.
I don't think this is really me.
128
00:05:22,923 --> 00:05:25,492
�Good luck with your lifestyle.
�Uh...
129
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:28,895
Oh, it's a shame there's no drug
for hurt feelings.
130
00:05:28,962 --> 00:05:30,964
Oh, wait, there totally is.
131
00:05:32,465 --> 00:05:36,069
(all munching)
132
00:05:36,136 --> 00:05:38,705
You know, in some families,
133
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:40,841
they go around the table
and everyone says
134
00:05:40,907 --> 00:05:42,876
one thing they learned that day.
135
00:05:42,943 --> 00:05:45,745
Okay. I learned that.
136
00:05:45,812 --> 00:05:48,515
Well, I learned that
the former heavyweight champion
137
00:05:48,582 --> 00:05:51,084
of the world
owns a marijuana store.
138
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,353
And he offered me a job,
which I turned down.
139
00:05:53,420 --> 00:05:54,554
Wait, what?
140
00:05:54,621 --> 00:05:56,890
I mean, the people
were really cool,
141
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:58,558
and they thought I was cool,
142
00:05:58,625 --> 00:06:00,994
which made me feel "stoked."
143
00:06:01,061 --> 00:06:05,065
(sighs) But I'm not going to be
a reefer saleslady.
144
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,033
Well, I guess there's nothing
wrong with it.
145
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:09,836
Cannabis is legal in this state.
146
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,504
Yeah, it's basically
the same thing
147
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,006
as working in a liquor store.
148
00:06:13,073 --> 00:06:15,675
You can work in a liquor store?
149
00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:18,078
�(gasps) Mmm...
�Stay with us, big guy.
150
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:19,379
Mm...
151
00:06:19,446 --> 00:06:22,015
Wow. I thought you'd be
opposed to it.
152
00:06:22,082 --> 00:06:24,017
People are stressed out
these days.
153
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:27,187
Scurvy is back,
there's, like, 60 wars going on.
154
00:06:27,254 --> 00:06:30,757
Whales are eating
our precious ocean plastic.
155
00:06:30,824 --> 00:06:33,360
Maybe people want
to smoke a doob for that.
156
00:06:33,426 --> 00:06:36,096
Oh, yeah, everyone's
selling crap to stoners now.
157
00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:38,598
Have you seen the new
Krusty Burger commercial?
158
00:06:38,665 --> 00:06:41,234
(sitar music playing)
159
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:44,604
When you've got the munchies,for some reason��
160
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,941
wink, wink��you crave weird.
161
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:50,110
A deep�fried rib�wich
162
00:06:50,176 --> 00:06:52,012
served on a warm doughnut.
163
00:06:52,078 --> 00:06:54,781
Or a spaghetti�filledgrilled cheese sandwich
164
00:06:54,848 --> 00:06:57,117
drizzled with ranch pudding.
165
00:06:57,183 --> 00:07:02,022
Krusty's Munchie Mouthfuls.It's high time you tried it.
166
00:07:02,088 --> 00:07:05,959
Get it? Get it?!
167
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:07,027
Get it?
168
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,396
(chuckles)
I get it.
169
00:07:09,462 --> 00:07:13,033
Well, Mr. Tatum
did personally choose me.
170
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:14,801
He said I was helpful.
171
00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:18,004
Honey, you're the most
helpful person I've ever met.
172
00:07:18,071 --> 00:07:20,907
Now go sell the safe
legal drugs
173
00:07:20,974 --> 00:07:24,177
our kids should never, ever use!
174
00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,812
�Especially Bart!
�Uh...?
175
00:07:30,283 --> 00:07:32,585
(humming)
176
00:07:32,652 --> 00:07:34,020
Is this an Apple store?
177
00:07:34,087 --> 00:07:36,022
Everyone keeps asking that.
178
00:07:36,089 --> 00:07:38,491
I dropped my phone
because of my arthritis.
179
00:07:38,558 --> 00:07:40,026
We can't fix your phone,
180
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:42,829
but I can sure help
with that arthritis.
181
00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:46,866
Try this amazing
pain�relieving lotion.
182
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:49,002
Oh. It tingles.
183
00:07:49,069 --> 00:07:51,671
Not like Jergens.
I hate Jergens!
184
00:07:51,738 --> 00:07:55,842
You seem stressed. Hmm.
185
00:07:55,909 --> 00:07:58,511
Why not try some yummy gummies?
186
00:07:58,578 --> 00:08:00,046
(laughing)
187
00:08:00,113 --> 00:08:04,117
Marge, thank you.
When Mother's happy, I'm happy.
188
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:06,019
Or at least,
much less miserable.
189
00:08:06,086 --> 00:08:08,488
This big shot here
is the principal
190
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,991
of a whole school!
(chuckles)
191
00:08:11,057 --> 00:08:13,126
�Show her your key ring.
�(jingles)
192
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:17,197
(laughing)
193
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,132
Oh, I love it.
194
00:08:19,199 --> 00:08:20,300
♪ ♪
195
00:08:20,367 --> 00:08:23,503
(grumbles)
196
00:08:23,570 --> 00:08:25,338
Psst. I want to buy some pot.
197
00:08:25,405 --> 00:08:27,974
All right,
pump the brakes, Jhorts.
198
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:30,143
Got to ask
a few questions first.
199
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:32,879
Now, do you want a body high
200
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:35,315
or a front�of�the�face buzz?
201
00:08:35,382 --> 00:08:37,050
I don't know.
Just hook me up.
202
00:08:37,117 --> 00:08:41,021
Mmm, I have the perfect strain
in mind.
203
00:08:41,087 --> 00:08:42,555
But be warned, boo,
204
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,858
the couch�lock is strong
on this one,
205
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,360
but there's, like,
zero mind�race.
206
00:08:47,427 --> 00:08:49,763
W�What are you saying?
I just want...
207
00:08:49,829 --> 00:08:50,930
(quietly): weed.
208
00:08:50,997 --> 00:08:53,900
Okay, almost there.
Almost there. Now listen.
209
00:08:53,967 --> 00:08:55,368
�Do you want this in flower...
�Yeah.
210
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,203
�...shatter, topical...
�Uh...
211
00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,072
�...edible, nasal mist...
�I...
212
00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:02,175
�...ear drops?
�Look, I just want to score
a bag of shwag
213
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:05,311
from some dude who may
or may not be a cop.
214
00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:06,713
I'm a cop.
215
00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:08,481
Have you tried this?
216
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,450
Nothing makes sense anymore!
217
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,988
Give me a beer.
218
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:15,922
(both gasp)
219
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:22,462
(scoffs) It doesn't make my hair
smell like anything!
220
00:09:22,529 --> 00:09:26,032
(sighs) I dreamed my whole life
of legalized weed.
221
00:09:26,099 --> 00:09:28,134
Turns out it's a real buzzkill.
222
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,569
Ain't that the truth?
223
00:09:29,636 --> 00:09:30,970
Times have changed.
224
00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:34,207
The romance of alcohol
is fading into the past.
225
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:37,544
Stoners will never know the joy
of sitting on the toilet
226
00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:39,412
and barfing into
your own underwear.
227
00:09:39,479 --> 00:09:42,482
Or picking a fight with a guy
twice your size
228
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:45,051
because his leg
touched your car.
229
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,053
Yeah. I miss the old days, too.
230
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:50,890
When buying pot was...
(sniffles) scuzzy.
231
00:09:50,957 --> 00:09:54,160
I'd pay anything
to turn back that clock.
232
00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,595
You know what'd be popular?
233
00:09:55,662 --> 00:09:57,230
If one of those legal places
234
00:09:57,297 --> 00:09:59,065
made it feel like
you were scoring weed
235
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:02,001
from your old�school
pot connection.
236
00:10:02,068 --> 00:10:04,204
That's a great idea,
and we should do it.
237
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:06,005
Those tie�dyed bong monkeys
238
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,842
will cough up big�time
for the full dirtbag shebang!
239
00:10:08,908 --> 00:10:11,678
I'll alert the bong monkeys.
240
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:17,016
Afternoon, gernts.
You need some suds?
241
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:21,454
Duffman knows it's always time
for a refreshing Duff!
242
00:10:21,521 --> 00:10:23,022
Yeah, that being said,
243
00:10:23,089 --> 00:10:26,392
sometimes Barry is looking
for a little herbal refreshment.
244
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:27,560
Know what I mean?
245
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,796
�Right this way, fellas.
�(door squeaks)
246
00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:30,964
♪ ♪
247
00:10:31,030 --> 00:10:33,233
(squawking)
248
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,902
(slowly):
So you guys friends of Moe?
249
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:38,805
Yeah. Uh, these guys are cool.
250
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:42,142
Whoa, tight.
Come on in, gentlemen.
251
00:10:42,208 --> 00:10:45,411
Oh, wait.
Here's a disclaimer, man.
252
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,880
"This is a legal dispensary,
253
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,248
"compliant with all laws
and statutes.
254
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:49,449
"As part of the experience,
255
00:10:49,516 --> 00:10:51,251
cast members may pretend
it's illegal."
256
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:53,219
All right. Shall we?
257
00:10:53,286 --> 00:10:56,789
Hmm. Crazy bird,
rusty free weights,
258
00:10:56,856 --> 00:10:59,392
everything smells like
a damp swimsuit...
259
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:01,027
I'm home.
260
00:11:01,094 --> 00:11:02,662
Who are you supposed to be?
261
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,331
I'm the weird friend
who never acknowledges you.
262
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:09,068
(chuckles) I was that guy
for my old roommate Scott.
263
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,571
Mm�hmm. (humming)
264
00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:17,544
�Mm?
�Mm�mm. Just stick it
in the Band�Aid can.
265
00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:20,346
Wh�� It's all stems and seeds.
266
00:11:20,413 --> 00:11:21,681
�Mm�hmm.
�Thank you.
267
00:11:21,748 --> 00:11:22,882
BOTH:
Mm.
268
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:25,418
♪ ♪
269
00:11:41,134 --> 00:11:43,269
So, with the success
of the Well and Good brand��
270
00:11:43,336 --> 00:11:45,071
which, you know, thank God��
271
00:11:45,138 --> 00:11:47,840
I'm so pleased to present
our latest venture...
272
00:11:48,975 --> 00:11:50,743
�(gasping, oohing)
�Werk.
273
00:11:50,810 --> 00:11:52,145
This is The Drederick.
274
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:55,915
It's a fully realized
cannabis resort and spa.
275
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,650
Now, for our launch event,
276
00:11:57,717 --> 00:12:00,920
we'll be inviting marijuana
influencers from Dave Chapelle
277
00:12:00,987 --> 00:12:04,023
to Harrison Ford, who is
flying himself, by the way,
278
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:06,192
so you know, fingers crossed.
279
00:12:06,259 --> 00:12:07,694
Marge, I was thinking
that you would be
280
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,395
the hostess
of this launch party,
281
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:13,233
acting as the de facto face
of the Well and Good brand.
282
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:16,069
Oh, my God. Why me?
283
00:12:16,135 --> 00:12:17,570
Well, Marge,
'cause people trust you.
284
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,839
Also, my face
is the intellectual property
285
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:22,075
of the artist
who created this tattoo.
286
00:12:22,141 --> 00:12:23,576
So, you know, I'm out.
287
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:25,745
Oh, I'd love to.
288
00:12:25,812 --> 00:12:27,180
This is so exciting, I...
289
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,515
Wait, wait, no.
I wanted to ask you.
290
00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:33,419
But unfortunately, there was
a fly in the CBD ointment.
291
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:37,123
Your husband Homer
is selling weed, Marge.
292
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:40,126
(gasps)
That's terrible.
293
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:42,629
Wait, no, so am I. We all are.
294
00:12:42,695 --> 00:12:45,431
We are trying to elevate
the image of cannabis.
295
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:48,935
�This is what he's doing.
�(gasps)
296
00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:52,805
(moans) Oh, he knows how much
self�esteem I get
297
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:54,207
from selling bud.
298
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:56,209
And that's our good frisbee.
299
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:59,212
I'm afraid that you cannot
continue with this company
300
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:03,583
while your husband is taking pot
back to the dark ages of 2018.
301
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,685
�I�I'm very sorry.
�Oh, no. No, no, no.
302
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:07,487
Please, please don't fire me.
303
00:13:07,553 --> 00:13:09,422
I want to be your face.
304
00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:11,991
When Homer realizes
how much this is hurting me,
305
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,927
I'm sure he'll understand.
306
00:13:14,994 --> 00:13:16,829
I don't understand.
307
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:19,265
We're doing the same thing,
except you dress like a doctor,
308
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,035
and I dress like a cool toddler.
309
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,269
Don't you get it?
310
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,439
I'm a healer,
and you're a dealer.
311
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,007
You need to quit.
312
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:31,678
I can quit whenever I want.
I just don't want to.
313
00:13:31,744 --> 00:13:33,680
What happened to the quitter
I married?
314
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,415
I quit quitting!
315
00:13:35,481 --> 00:13:38,551
�What's going on?
�Mom and Dad are having
a drug war.
316
00:13:38,618 --> 00:13:41,020
�It's not different!
�And you spent $1,000...
317
00:13:41,087 --> 00:13:42,255
I make CNN much funnier!
318
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:48,861
�(humming)
�Homer wouldn't quit.
319
00:13:48,928 --> 00:13:52,365
Here's my smock,
my key to the hash register,
320
00:13:52,432 --> 00:13:55,735
my business card
reading "associate."
321
00:13:55,802 --> 00:13:58,104
Instead of being
the face of the company,
322
00:13:58,171 --> 00:14:00,473
my face will just be me.
323
00:14:00,540 --> 00:14:03,543
Wait, Marge. There is one way
to save your job,
324
00:14:03,609 --> 00:14:06,012
but it would entail the betrayal
of your husband,
325
00:14:06,079 --> 00:14:09,816
which I would never
ask you to do.
326
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:12,585
Well, I mean,
it doesn't hurt to ask.
327
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:16,189
With your help, we can get
the government to shut him down.
328
00:14:16,255 --> 00:14:18,524
The FBI? The DEA?
329
00:14:18,591 --> 00:14:20,993
The County Health Department.
330
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,898
I don't understand.
What crime is Homer committing?
331
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:27,200
Pot's legal.
332
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:29,435
Yes, but he isn't
licensed to serve
333
00:14:29,502 --> 00:14:33,239
non�psychotropic edibles,
aka food.
334
00:14:33,306 --> 00:14:35,575
If he offers snacks
to his customers and they eat
335
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:39,879
even one bite,
we go in and take him down.
336
00:14:39,946 --> 00:14:44,050
So we need you to bait the trap
with these.
337
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:45,551
Are you in?
338
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,786
(groans softly)
339
00:14:46,853 --> 00:14:48,554
Mm�hmm. Mm�hmm.
340
00:14:48,621 --> 00:14:50,123
�HOMER: Nailed it.
�Mm�hmm.
341
00:14:50,189 --> 00:14:52,725
You're the son I never had.
342
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:55,461
Hey, Homer.
Look who's stopped by over here.
343
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:58,698
I am so sorry
about our little tiff.
344
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:03,069
Will you accept this apology
gift for you and your friends?
345
00:15:03,136 --> 00:15:05,638
Oh, honey.
You're always in my corner.
346
00:15:05,705 --> 00:15:07,206
I have the most loving,
347
00:15:07,273 --> 00:15:10,042
supportive, loyal wife
in the world.
348
00:15:10,109 --> 00:15:11,310
(grunts)
349
00:15:11,377 --> 00:15:13,146
�(groans)
�(high�pitched ringing)
350
00:15:13,212 --> 00:15:14,914
(shouts, mutters)
351
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:16,449
(humming)
352
00:15:20,453 --> 00:15:22,889
If Simpson keeps
eating like this,
353
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:25,758
he'll hit bottom dust
before anyone takes the bait.
354
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:29,395
Come on, you fat bastard, offer
the customer some cheese balls.
355
00:15:31,464 --> 00:15:35,168
And the whole floor
356
00:15:35,234 --> 00:15:36,936
is an air hockey table,
357
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:40,173
so moving furniture...
358
00:15:40,239 --> 00:15:41,941
is like...
359
00:15:42,008 --> 00:15:43,176
�(shouts)
�Homer!
360
00:15:43,242 --> 00:15:46,179
Give your friends
some cheese balls.
361
00:15:46,245 --> 00:15:48,381
�Would anyone care to partake?
�Hmm.
362
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:49,615
(gasps softly)
363
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:50,883
(Krusty chuckles)
364
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,251
(both gasp)
365
00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:55,855
Code Orange. Go, go, go!
366
00:15:55,922 --> 00:15:57,857
�Stop eating!
�(Homer shrieks, gasps)
�(pounding on door)
367
00:15:57,924 --> 00:16:00,793
AGENT:
Health Department.
This is a raid.
368
00:16:00,860 --> 00:16:02,295
We got to get rid of the stuff.
369
00:16:05,965 --> 00:16:08,067
Oh, no! Come on!
370
00:16:08,134 --> 00:16:09,068
Oh, God!
371
00:16:14,140 --> 00:16:17,076
We got everything we need.
372
00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,978
You're shut down, pal.
373
00:16:23,449 --> 00:16:25,651
�(Moe shuddering)
�You, you knew.
374
00:16:25,718 --> 00:16:27,887
�You...
�Set you up.
375
00:16:27,954 --> 00:16:32,558
You're coming with us, scumbag,
to pay a $25 fine.
376
00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:34,594
(moans softly)
377
00:16:38,564 --> 00:16:41,167
(sniffs)
Ah...
378
00:16:41,234 --> 00:16:44,003
Marge, darling,
everything is so perfect.
379
00:16:44,070 --> 00:16:45,872
I hope your husband
wasn't too upset
380
00:16:45,938 --> 00:16:48,040
about the... you know,
the treachery.
381
00:16:48,107 --> 00:16:52,044
Oh, well, Homer is very...
easygoing, so...
382
00:16:52,111 --> 00:16:54,680
(slurring): Excuse me,
can any of these oils or goos
383
00:16:54,747 --> 00:16:57,250
help me with a knife wound?
384
00:16:57,316 --> 00:17:00,987
I have been stabbed,
in the back!
385
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:04,323
How did you get in?
This is by invitation only.
386
00:17:04,390 --> 00:17:06,726
I said I was
Kevin Smith's father.
387
00:17:06,792 --> 00:17:09,028
No one questioned me.
388
00:17:09,095 --> 00:17:11,531
Homer, control yourself.
389
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,533
You're upsetting
the influencers.
390
00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:15,535
They're very easily influenced.
391
00:17:15,601 --> 00:17:19,071
(sighs)
That guy is on alcohol.
392
00:17:19,138 --> 00:17:21,073
Please don't ruin this.
393
00:17:21,140 --> 00:17:24,343
This is cannabinoid health,
and I am its face.
394
00:17:24,410 --> 00:17:27,513
(blows raspberry)
Cabana boy health.
395
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:30,082
If it's so good for you...
396
00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:33,886
why have you never
tried pot, ever?
397
00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:35,955
(gasping, coughing)
398
00:17:38,424 --> 00:17:41,093
Well�� does a doctor
need to try insulin
399
00:17:41,160 --> 00:17:44,096
to know that it helps diabetes?
400
00:17:44,163 --> 00:17:46,599
Yes. I think she should.
401
00:17:46,666 --> 00:17:48,501
Surprise! The doctor's a woman.
402
00:17:48,568 --> 00:17:50,069
Sexist!
403
00:17:50,136 --> 00:17:52,238
�Oh, yeah.
�Good point.
�That is sexist.
404
00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:55,241
Look, I don't have
a problem with pot.
405
00:17:55,308 --> 00:17:57,243
I can start any time I want.
406
00:17:57,310 --> 00:17:59,245
I'll do some right now.
407
00:17:59,312 --> 00:18:01,347
Perfect. "Serenity."
408
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:03,416
(grumbles)
409
00:18:06,285 --> 00:18:08,220
See? Nothing.
410
00:18:08,287 --> 00:18:11,023
I'm probably one of those people
it doesn't work on.
411
00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:12,858
I feel like I'm on an elevator
412
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,862
that's going up and down
at the same time.
413
00:18:16,929 --> 00:18:19,565
Something's wrong. You said
this was about wellness,
414
00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,401
but I feel high.
415
00:18:22,468 --> 00:18:24,403
Okay, okay, listen.
416
00:18:24,470 --> 00:18:28,741
What you need to understand
is this: I'm high, too!
417
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,743
(laughs)
418
00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,679
I'm Serenityed out of my gourd.
419
00:18:33,746 --> 00:18:34,981
(laughs)
420
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:38,484
�Yeah, baby. (laughs)
�(dance music playing)
421
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:41,821
I've got to come down.
I've got to eat something.
422
00:18:41,887 --> 00:18:45,191
Um, that was
a chicken pot pot pie.
423
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:47,860
Oh, no. I ate an eatable.
424
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:50,696
And you just wiped your mouth
with a Hash�nap,
425
00:18:50,763 --> 00:18:52,498
the most potent thing here.
426
00:18:52,565 --> 00:18:54,600
(grunts, gasps)
427
00:18:54,667 --> 00:18:56,035
MARGE:
Is this how I always walk?
428
00:18:56,102 --> 00:18:58,871
What do I do with my arms?
Okay, got it.
429
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,072
This is normal.
430
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:03,109
(grunting)
431
00:19:03,175 --> 00:19:05,277
(takes deep breath)
432
00:19:06,579 --> 00:19:08,114
�(screams)
�(knocking on door)
433
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:10,916
�Hmm? (sighs)
�HOMER: Honey, it's me.
434
00:19:11,917 --> 00:19:13,119
Homie.
435
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:15,121
You're gonna be okay.
436
00:19:15,187 --> 00:19:19,291
In two hours
that will seem like 12.
437
00:19:19,358 --> 00:19:21,794
You're so sweet.
438
00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:24,130
And I ratted you out.
439
00:19:24,196 --> 00:19:25,965
No, I get it.
440
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:27,967
You found a place
that made you feel special,
441
00:19:28,034 --> 00:19:29,468
and you didn't want
to lose that.
442
00:19:29,535 --> 00:19:31,971
I still feel weird.
443
00:19:32,038 --> 00:19:34,206
Maybe you'd feel less weird
if I were weird, too.
444
00:19:34,273 --> 00:19:37,143
Here, I'll smoke
one of your futuristic joints.
445
00:19:37,209 --> 00:19:38,644
That's not a doobie!
446
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:39,679
�Hmm?
�Aah!
447
00:19:39,745 --> 00:19:41,213
(grunting)
448
00:19:44,950 --> 00:19:47,053
�(Marge moans)
�HOMER: Uh�oh.
449
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,188
(people scream)
450
00:19:49,255 --> 00:19:51,924
Oh, man, Dad, what did you do?
451
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:53,225
(screaming)
452
00:19:53,292 --> 00:19:56,062
Hemp clothes burns like paper!
453
00:19:56,128 --> 00:19:58,931
All wrong, all wrong, all wrong!
454
00:19:58,998 --> 00:20:01,133
(psychedelic music playing)
455
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,708
�MARGE: Oops.
�Be cool.
456
00:20:08,774 --> 00:20:11,043
�Mm.
�Cheer up, neck face.
457
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:14,547
If there's one thing I know,
it's life is nothing but pain.
458
00:20:14,613 --> 00:20:16,048
People will always need guys
459
00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:18,718
like you and me
to get them wasted.
460
00:20:18,784 --> 00:20:21,220
Yeah, thanks,
monster man hallucination.
461
00:20:21,287 --> 00:20:23,622
Your words are
a�a great comfort to me.
462
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:28,294
We'll get through it somehow.
463
00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,130
Well, can I come with y...
(sighs)
464
00:20:31,197 --> 00:20:33,199
♪ ♪
465
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,910
In reaction to the destructiveDrederick blaze
466
00:20:44,977 --> 00:20:47,113
which also destroyed theSign Language Monkey Sanctuary,
467
00:20:47,179 --> 00:20:48,714
the town council has passedan emergency ordinance
468
00:20:48,781 --> 00:20:51,150
outlawing the sale of cannabi.
469
00:20:51,217 --> 00:20:52,785
Without that tax money,
470
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:56,122
Maggie's pre�education center
will have to close.
471
00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:58,624
Aw, man, they were
teaching her Mandarin.
472
00:21:00,192 --> 00:21:02,061
Well, it's probably
for the best.
473
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,163
Even though they say
something's not addictive,
474
00:21:04,230 --> 00:21:06,465
you can still get hooked.
475
00:21:09,235 --> 00:21:11,103
(mouth full):
And you don't want that.
476
00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:13,072
(Bart and Lisa coughing)
477
00:21:22,114 --> 00:21:25,117
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
478
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,923
Shh!
34847
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