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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:04,416 --> 00:01:05,416 Yeah? 2 00:01:06,708 --> 00:01:09,625 Uh... uh... no. 3 00:01:09,791 --> 00:01:11,375 Say again? 4 00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:13,726 Come on... what? 5 00:01:13,750 --> 00:01:16,916 Jumping? Huh? Music? 6 00:01:17,083 --> 00:01:18,125 No, mate. 7 00:01:18,541 --> 00:01:20,666 Mmm. Uh... 8 00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:22,416 Try next door. 9 00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:26,791 Ta-ta. 10 00:01:35,333 --> 00:01:36,583 You playing music now? 11 00:01:36,666 --> 00:01:38,791 Yeah. Can't sleep with the shower on. 12 00:01:49,625 --> 00:01:51,083 That my protein shake? 13 00:01:58,625 --> 00:01:59,625 Ow! 14 00:02:01,166 --> 00:02:03,583 Ooh. Ooh! Oi! Oi! 15 00:02:09,416 --> 00:02:11,791 Hey, you hear Jojo got sucked off by a lady journalist? 16 00:02:11,916 --> 00:02:13,517 Yeah, she had a deadline. 17 00:02:13,541 --> 00:02:16,166 He made her give him shines before he talked to her. 18 00:02:16,541 --> 00:02:18,416 - Who told you that? - Jojo. 19 00:02:19,666 --> 00:02:21,017 You don't like Jojo? 20 00:02:21,041 --> 00:02:24,208 Make a lovely couple, you two. Who makes the tea? 21 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:26,041 You reckon he'll play tomorrow? 22 00:02:28,208 --> 00:02:30,368 - He strikes the ball clean. - Can't control it though. 23 00:02:30,458 --> 00:02:31,726 Yeah, but his left foot, though. 24 00:02:31,750 --> 00:02:33,708 Yeah, he thinks he's Roberto fucking Carlos. 25 00:02:33,791 --> 00:02:35,708 Hits the target about as much too. 26 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,750 Well, that ain't gonna help you sleep. 27 00:02:42,208 --> 00:02:43,333 Doughnut. 28 00:02:43,541 --> 00:02:45,208 Have to clean your teeth again! 29 00:02:50,458 --> 00:02:52,250 I need some pussy, man. 30 00:02:52,333 --> 00:02:53,541 It's killing me. 31 00:02:54,416 --> 00:02:58,083 We could get a girl, take it in turns, one on, one off. 32 00:02:58,958 --> 00:03:00,476 You know them girls hanging in the lobby? 33 00:03:00,500 --> 00:03:02,333 Yeah. One of them looked like your sister. 34 00:03:02,416 --> 00:03:03,500 Shut up! 35 00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:04,916 Oh, Kemme! 36 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:07,750 Danny and Leesy slipped them security guys some money 37 00:03:07,833 --> 00:03:09,291 to send them a couple of birds up. 38 00:03:09,708 --> 00:03:10,833 - Did they? - Yeah. 39 00:03:10,916 --> 00:03:12,666 But Jojo reckons they're plants, though. 40 00:03:12,750 --> 00:03:14,833 What? Like asparagus? 41 00:03:14,916 --> 00:03:16,625 No, like special agents, man. 42 00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:18,267 They want their home teams to win, so they come 43 00:03:18,291 --> 00:03:19,416 here and have sex with us. 44 00:03:19,958 --> 00:03:22,666 Right. I'm enjoying this theory. 45 00:03:22,750 --> 00:03:25,390 Because when you cum, that's your energy gone. Everyone knows that. 46 00:03:25,625 --> 00:03:27,791 What PE syllabus did your school do? 47 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:31,083 What do I need GCSEs for? This is the Champions League, man. 48 00:03:31,583 --> 00:03:32,708 We made it. 49 00:03:32,875 --> 00:03:34,416 After tomorrow, ain't no looking back. 50 00:03:34,500 --> 00:03:36,375 We ain't even gonna play tomorrow. 51 00:03:36,458 --> 00:03:38,258 We'll just be keeping the bench warm all game, 52 00:03:38,333 --> 00:03:40,208 just like last week and the week before. 53 00:03:40,375 --> 00:03:43,166 Jase... you are having me on, right? 54 00:03:43,416 --> 00:03:47,333 We're gonna start tomorrow. I hope you do know that. 55 00:03:47,916 --> 00:03:50,791 Right. We've been at this academy since we were eight. 56 00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,166 Uh, seven. 57 00:03:52,250 --> 00:03:54,000 All them other kids have fallen by the way. 58 00:03:54,083 --> 00:03:56,541 Now, it's just me, you and Jojo. 59 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:58,750 It's that new generation, we've been groomed. 60 00:03:59,041 --> 00:04:00,416 Jase, this is our time. 61 00:04:03,833 --> 00:04:06,208 I got something to show you. 62 00:04:07,208 --> 00:04:09,583 Jojo and Leesy tag-teamed these girls in Blackburn. 63 00:04:09,666 --> 00:04:10,767 Nah, nah, nah. I don't wanna watch 64 00:04:10,791 --> 00:04:13,250 Jojo's sorry arse bobbing up and down. 65 00:04:14,250 --> 00:04:15,500 Fucking hell. 66 00:04:15,916 --> 00:04:17,309 I mean, this is it. 67 00:04:17,333 --> 00:04:21,125 Oi, my dick's bigger than his. 68 00:04:22,250 --> 00:04:24,041 This is it, this is it. This bit kills me. 69 00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:29,250 Oh, no! 70 00:04:31,500 --> 00:04:33,333 "I don't want! No!" 71 00:04:34,625 --> 00:04:36,791 That is classic! 72 00:04:39,166 --> 00:04:40,583 Have you seen his missus? 73 00:04:40,666 --> 00:04:42,583 Leesy's? Yeah, man. 74 00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:45,208 Do you feel bad for her? 75 00:04:45,500 --> 00:04:49,208 No, no, no. She must have known that man's got urges when she married him. 76 00:04:49,291 --> 00:04:51,791 Always dipping his willy somewhere he shouldn't be. 77 00:04:52,041 --> 00:04:53,791 How comes it never gets in the papers? 78 00:04:53,875 --> 00:04:55,435 It's not like he even tries to hide it. 79 00:04:55,708 --> 00:04:56,916 He's got a deal with them. 80 00:04:57,583 --> 00:04:58,583 Huh? 81 00:04:58,625 --> 00:05:01,208 You got a story you wanna keep out the papers, 82 00:05:01,291 --> 00:05:03,125 and you gotta find another story. Right? 83 00:05:03,208 --> 00:05:04,875 That is all, they don't actually care. 84 00:05:06,416 --> 00:05:07,583 Your agent not tell you this? 85 00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:09,500 Hmm? Oh, no. 86 00:05:10,125 --> 00:05:11,791 My dad handles all that. 87 00:05:13,500 --> 00:05:15,375 You wanna get yourself a proper agent, mate. 88 00:05:18,291 --> 00:05:19,291 See that? 89 00:05:20,291 --> 00:05:21,333 What? 90 00:05:22,041 --> 00:05:23,041 That. 91 00:05:24,625 --> 00:05:25,750 What's that? 92 00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:28,916 That is my celebration. 93 00:05:30,041 --> 00:05:31,083 - That? - Mmm. 94 00:05:31,625 --> 00:05:34,583 I'm going to trademark that. Put it on all my merchandise. 95 00:05:34,666 --> 00:05:36,666 It looks like you got a bit of dirt in your eye. 96 00:05:36,750 --> 00:05:39,916 Ah, ten years from now, all the little kids are going to be doing that. 97 00:05:40,083 --> 00:05:42,125 Are they, Ade? 98 00:05:42,333 --> 00:05:43,500 Yeah, you watch. 99 00:05:47,250 --> 00:05:48,250 What? 100 00:05:48,291 --> 00:05:49,958 Cor, you black boys. 101 00:05:50,041 --> 00:05:51,958 Always moisturizing. 102 00:05:54,416 --> 00:05:57,416 Hey, what was the name of that girl you pulled in that club? 103 00:05:57,708 --> 00:05:58,708 Echoes? 104 00:05:58,791 --> 00:05:59,875 Echoes, Echoes, Echoes. 105 00:05:59,958 --> 00:06:02,000 Go on. 106 00:06:02,666 --> 00:06:03,791 Did, uh... 107 00:06:04,416 --> 00:06:05,791 did she have a tight pussy? 108 00:06:05,916 --> 00:06:08,125 - Was it shaved? - Can I ask you a question, Ade? 109 00:06:08,416 --> 00:06:09,291 Is it dirty? 110 00:06:09,375 --> 00:06:13,916 How do you square your all-consuming hunt for minge with your Christian faith? 111 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:15,226 What kind of question's that? 112 00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:18,166 What, just giving you some practice for all them interviews you're doing. 113 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:21,125 Yeah, well. You know... 114 00:06:21,250 --> 00:06:24,250 Black warrior prince needs his pussy, so... 115 00:06:24,583 --> 00:06:26,833 - He likes talking about it. - Huh? 116 00:06:26,916 --> 00:06:28,083 More pussy than you. 117 00:06:28,166 --> 00:06:29,500 You been checking? 118 00:06:29,583 --> 00:06:31,416 Ignorant white man. 119 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:32,791 I wouldn't worry, Ade. 120 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:35,541 I'm sure your dad's covered you in a blanket of prayer. 121 00:06:35,625 --> 00:06:37,125 Sweet. Make fun of my dad! 122 00:06:37,208 --> 00:06:39,583 Oh! He's a nutter and you've said it yourself. 123 00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:40,851 Yeah, well, he's my dad, all right? 124 00:06:40,875 --> 00:06:42,809 Do you know Jesus, Jason? 125 00:06:42,833 --> 00:06:45,041 Do you know him in your heart? Straight off the bat. 126 00:06:45,125 --> 00:06:47,208 - Don't start... - "Oh, hello, Mr Lotomo. 127 00:06:47,291 --> 00:06:49,051 - Do you know Jesus?" - All right, all right. 128 00:06:49,125 --> 00:06:52,583 Like, what was that, erm... What was that thing he said? Erm... 129 00:06:53,166 --> 00:06:55,500 "If there is sin in your..." 130 00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,476 "If there is sin in your heart, 131 00:06:57,500 --> 00:06:58,916 cast it out!" 132 00:06:59,166 --> 00:07:03,416 "How can a man outrun the devil, if the devil is in your heart?" 133 00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:06,517 It's the longest grace I've ever heard. 134 00:07:06,541 --> 00:07:08,916 My tea was cold by the time he'd finished. 135 00:07:09,041 --> 00:07:10,250 Imagine living with him. 136 00:07:11,791 --> 00:07:12,833 You believe him, though? 137 00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,833 - Some of it. - Yeah? 138 00:07:17,416 --> 00:07:20,041 - Do you pray? - Yeah. 139 00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:22,541 What for? 140 00:07:23,916 --> 00:07:24,916 You should try it. 141 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,875 Don't you fucking dare... 142 00:07:26,958 --> 00:07:28,791 - What? - No, don't try and convert me. 143 00:07:28,875 --> 00:07:31,125 - I'm just saying. - You're a closet nut. 144 00:07:33,833 --> 00:07:35,541 He cracks me up, your dad. 145 00:07:35,625 --> 00:07:36,625 He likes you. 146 00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:38,916 Oh, by telling me I got the devil in my heart? 147 00:07:39,041 --> 00:07:41,750 That's his... that's his way. That actually means he respects you. 148 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:45,161 Does he ever tell you you got the devil in your heart? 149 00:07:47,291 --> 00:07:48,375 You recording this? 150 00:07:52,916 --> 00:07:54,833 You'll wipe over the tape, man. 151 00:07:54,916 --> 00:07:57,041 What, Jojo's skanky home porn? 152 00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,791 There's a loss to world cinema. 153 00:08:00,458 --> 00:08:01,458 Stop pointing it at me. 154 00:08:05,875 --> 00:08:06,875 Oi! 155 00:08:17,583 --> 00:08:18,875 What do you reckon about Deano? 156 00:08:19,750 --> 00:08:21,416 - Deano? - Mmm. 157 00:08:22,291 --> 00:08:23,833 If Deano was a lolly, 158 00:08:24,500 --> 00:08:26,083 he'd lick himself to death. 159 00:08:30,708 --> 00:08:33,434 Yeah, a couple of weeks back after drills, we was all in the shower... 160 00:08:33,458 --> 00:08:34,458 Hmm? 161 00:08:34,750 --> 00:08:36,916 And everyone was talking about squad. 162 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,434 These times, we didn't know we'd be in it. 163 00:08:38,458 --> 00:08:40,250 - Yeah. - And Deano was there 164 00:08:40,333 --> 00:08:42,666 and before I thought, "This guy's a prick. 165 00:08:42,750 --> 00:08:44,934 Always in your face in training, giving you a little kick." 166 00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:47,916 And he come up to me and he's all asking me about myself. 167 00:08:48,333 --> 00:08:50,500 Like, man's taking a proper interest, you know, Deano, 168 00:08:50,583 --> 00:08:51,958 he's all saying, "Don't sweat it. 169 00:08:52,041 --> 00:08:53,625 I know what it's like. Don't worry." 170 00:08:54,458 --> 00:08:55,375 And I'm thinking, 171 00:08:55,458 --> 00:08:57,098 - "This guy's actually all right." - Yeah. 172 00:08:57,333 --> 00:08:59,791 And then... 173 00:09:00,791 --> 00:09:02,416 Then I notice everyone is laughing, 174 00:09:03,208 --> 00:09:05,875 because Deano is pissing down my leg. The whole time we're talking, 175 00:09:05,958 --> 00:09:08,541 he is pissing down my leg in the shower. 176 00:09:10,500 --> 00:09:11,916 Why you laughing? 177 00:09:13,833 --> 00:09:16,625 Oh, he's like that with everyone. 178 00:09:16,708 --> 00:09:18,228 Oh, what, has he pissed down your leg? 179 00:09:19,208 --> 00:09:20,208 Nah. 180 00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:24,000 I think he's a bit racist. 181 00:09:24,083 --> 00:09:26,000 Deano? Nah. 182 00:09:26,083 --> 00:09:28,041 Well, not racist, but the things he says, though. 183 00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,416 It's a sign of affection. 184 00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:31,333 Pissing on my leg? 185 00:09:31,416 --> 00:09:32,750 He's from Portsmouth. 186 00:09:33,791 --> 00:09:34,875 It's cultural. 187 00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:38,596 Besides, he never passes it in five-a-side. 188 00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:41,041 Uh-huh. Told me he rated you. 189 00:09:43,625 --> 00:09:45,333 - Did he say that? - Yeah. 190 00:09:46,541 --> 00:09:48,141 On the coach when we were playing cards. 191 00:09:49,375 --> 00:09:50,958 Is that what you lot talk about? 192 00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:53,333 Compared you to Bergkamp. 193 00:09:53,791 --> 00:09:54,791 Bergkamp? 194 00:09:54,916 --> 00:09:57,708 Said you got the potential to be the next Dennis Bergkamp... 195 00:09:59,458 --> 00:10:00,833 Or was it Dennis Wise? 196 00:10:01,458 --> 00:10:02,375 Fuck off. 197 00:10:02,458 --> 00:10:05,833 Ah, it was the black Dennis Wise. That's what he called you. 198 00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:08,291 - You should be on telly, mate. - Hoo-hoo, I will be, mate. 199 00:10:09,041 --> 00:10:10,641 He's gonna regret when I take his place. 200 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:21,333 Pass and move. Drop. Pass and move. 201 00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:25,541 Pass and move. 202 00:10:36,791 --> 00:10:38,416 How come you do your own boots, man? 203 00:10:40,291 --> 00:10:41,625 I like the smell of polish. 204 00:10:42,458 --> 00:10:43,708 Get you hard, does it? 205 00:10:43,958 --> 00:10:46,416 Not as hard as your sister when she sits on my face. 206 00:10:47,041 --> 00:10:48,958 - I done told you, man. - What? 207 00:10:49,583 --> 00:10:52,333 Is she not like the other girls, Ade? Is she special? 208 00:10:53,541 --> 00:10:55,750 All right. All right. 209 00:10:56,541 --> 00:10:59,125 Oi, I think she likes me, though. 210 00:10:59,208 --> 00:11:00,333 Ah! 211 00:11:02,083 --> 00:11:03,291 Is that your ritual? 212 00:11:04,750 --> 00:11:07,958 Every Saturday, Dad would lay his paper down, 213 00:11:08,291 --> 00:11:09,333 pop the telly on, 214 00:11:09,791 --> 00:11:11,500 polish his boots in the front room. 215 00:11:11,708 --> 00:11:13,416 Mum would go spare. 216 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:16,875 That his kit, yeah? 217 00:11:18,833 --> 00:11:20,458 Come to all your games, don't he? 218 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 - Mmm. - In his Jag. 219 00:11:23,750 --> 00:11:25,625 - Yeah, one of 'em. - "One of 'em"? 220 00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:28,291 How many houses you got again? 221 00:11:28,708 --> 00:11:32,041 Uh... He's a builder. 222 00:11:32,375 --> 00:11:33,416 It's what he does. 223 00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:34,666 Mmm. 224 00:11:36,291 --> 00:11:39,500 Yeah, my dad's too busy with his sermons. 225 00:11:40,541 --> 00:11:45,916 Well, he came to that thing you was in for your, um, drama exam. 226 00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:49,083 Rah. I forgot you come to that. 227 00:11:49,166 --> 00:11:51,000 Yeah, well, you were good in that. 228 00:11:51,583 --> 00:11:54,083 Yeah, what was that thing you did where you had that 229 00:11:54,166 --> 00:11:56,083 red material you pulled and then... 230 00:11:56,166 --> 00:11:58,666 That was abstract movement, yeah. That represent... 231 00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,916 - What you laughing at? - Nah. No, I'm just remembering. 232 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,250 It was... 233 00:12:05,333 --> 00:12:08,458 "Oh, oh. I love this person." 234 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,333 - No, it was good. - Mmm. 235 00:12:14,666 --> 00:12:16,166 I was surprised you come to that. 236 00:12:18,750 --> 00:12:19,875 Give us a blast. 237 00:12:21,041 --> 00:12:23,500 Go on! Argh! 238 00:12:23,750 --> 00:12:24,958 I can't do it to order. 239 00:12:25,041 --> 00:12:26,458 Ah, too much pressure? 240 00:12:42,791 --> 00:12:44,583 Make sure you wash your hands! 241 00:12:53,625 --> 00:12:55,250 How'd you know how to play poker? 242 00:12:55,541 --> 00:12:56,583 What's that, mate? 243 00:12:56,666 --> 00:12:58,625 On the bus. 244 00:12:59,875 --> 00:13:01,375 You was playing with the older lot. 245 00:13:03,125 --> 00:13:05,625 - Your dad teach you? - Ah, yeah, yeah. 246 00:13:06,083 --> 00:13:07,833 He'd win my pocket money back off me. 247 00:13:07,916 --> 00:13:08,833 What? 248 00:13:08,916 --> 00:13:11,458 Yeah. He'd give me pocket money. 249 00:13:12,958 --> 00:13:15,791 We'd play cards, then he'd win it back. 250 00:13:16,166 --> 00:13:17,958 Said it was a lesson in life. 251 00:13:19,500 --> 00:13:21,250 Would you teach me to play? 252 00:13:24,500 --> 00:13:25,500 Jase? 253 00:13:32,916 --> 00:13:34,916 Ade, it is me, 254 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,416 Babatunde. 255 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:37,625 What the fuck, man? 256 00:13:37,708 --> 00:13:39,625 Your long-lost brother from Nigeria! 257 00:13:39,708 --> 00:13:41,142 - Are you kidding me? - Come here, Ade. 258 00:13:41,166 --> 00:13:44,041 - Show your brother some love. Oh! - Get the fuck away from me! 259 00:13:44,125 --> 00:13:46,083 Why you treat me so harshly? 260 00:13:46,166 --> 00:13:49,166 I've come so far to see you. 261 00:13:49,250 --> 00:13:51,000 Hey, it is me. 262 00:13:51,083 --> 00:13:53,043 Your brother from Nigeria you didn't know you had. 263 00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,416 Your father had many children. 264 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,166 Seriously, get the fuck away from me. 265 00:13:56,250 --> 00:13:59,416 Why you so sad to see Babatunde? Ade. 266 00:13:59,500 --> 00:14:02,583 Ade, come on, mate. I'm only having a laugh. Oi. 267 00:14:04,500 --> 00:14:07,083 Oi. It's just a bit of banter. 268 00:14:09,583 --> 00:14:11,958 You all right, geez? 269 00:14:12,041 --> 00:14:13,241 You all right, me old diamond? 270 00:14:13,291 --> 00:14:14,684 Me old china? 271 00:14:14,708 --> 00:14:17,083 - Want some plums? - I want to see your plums. 272 00:14:17,166 --> 00:14:19,291 Two for a pound! Two for a pound! 273 00:14:19,375 --> 00:14:23,000 Would you like a cup of tea? Crumpet, me lady? Come and have a look! 274 00:14:23,083 --> 00:14:26,291 - Yeah, mate. - I'm on your bed, brother. What is that? 275 00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:28,916 - You what? Get your hands off my plums. - Ah! 276 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,750 Two plums in a brown bag! 277 00:14:30,833 --> 00:14:32,541 - You want these plums? - Oh! Oh, oh! 278 00:14:32,625 --> 00:14:34,416 You what? Eh! 279 00:14:34,500 --> 00:14:37,166 - Oh, ah! - Eh! There you go. 280 00:14:39,708 --> 00:14:41,559 Oh, you dirty bugger. 281 00:14:41,583 --> 00:14:44,625 Oh, I just tasted your chocolate salty balls. 282 00:14:44,708 --> 00:14:46,708 Ah! I've got chocolate on my balls! 283 00:14:46,791 --> 00:14:48,059 - Ah! - No, no, no, no, no. 284 00:14:48,083 --> 00:14:49,833 I'm never having chocolate spread again! 285 00:14:55,791 --> 00:14:56,875 I ain't answering that. 286 00:15:06,500 --> 00:15:08,375 - Oi, budge up. - Oi! 287 00:15:12,541 --> 00:15:14,708 - So, you going to teach me? - Teach you what? 288 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:16,166 Play poker. 289 00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:21,041 What? You, play poker? 290 00:15:24,333 --> 00:15:25,333 What? 291 00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:26,458 You serious? 292 00:15:26,541 --> 00:15:28,500 Yeah. 293 00:15:28,583 --> 00:15:30,041 Oh, don't be funny. 294 00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,958 Come on, you need a certain type of brain. 295 00:15:34,250 --> 00:15:35,570 You think you're smarter than me? 296 00:15:36,458 --> 00:15:37,958 Oh, shush. 297 00:15:38,291 --> 00:15:39,416 Let's just leave it, yeah? 298 00:15:39,500 --> 00:15:41,750 No, no, no. Oh, wait. How much you win today? 299 00:15:41,833 --> 00:15:43,625 Huh? 300 00:15:43,791 --> 00:15:45,291 - Hmm? - Oh. Oh, you lost? 301 00:15:45,375 --> 00:15:47,500 Ah. Is that because you're so good at poker? 302 00:15:47,583 --> 00:15:50,041 What is this? The big boys didn't let you into their game? 303 00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:52,333 - No, how much they take off you? - Don't know. 304 00:15:53,791 --> 00:15:54,833 A monkey. 305 00:15:54,916 --> 00:15:57,583 - Five hundred pounds? - Yeah. 306 00:15:58,208 --> 00:16:00,500 Yeah, Ade, pounds, English pounds. 500 pounds. 307 00:16:00,583 --> 00:16:02,083 In half an hour? 308 00:16:03,083 --> 00:16:05,041 Ha-ha! Well, next week I'll win it back. 309 00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:07,083 Ooh, if you're playing. 310 00:16:08,458 --> 00:16:09,858 Yeah? What's that supposed to mean? 311 00:16:10,291 --> 00:16:11,833 You might not be picked next week. 312 00:16:13,541 --> 00:16:15,000 Well, we both might not be picked. 313 00:16:15,666 --> 00:16:16,791 I will be. 314 00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:19,583 Okay. So you're saying you're better than me? 315 00:16:22,375 --> 00:16:23,750 - Come on. - Ah. 316 00:16:25,958 --> 00:16:28,875 - Let's leave it, yeah? - No, no, actually I'm intrigued. 317 00:16:29,583 --> 00:16:33,458 Oh, no, no. Oh, I understand. 318 00:16:34,166 --> 00:16:35,000 What? 319 00:16:35,083 --> 00:16:36,666 - Ah! - What? 320 00:16:37,791 --> 00:16:40,291 I understand. 321 00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:42,916 You don't understand nothing. 322 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,476 You're just saying that to seem more mysterious, like you know something. 323 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:46,916 Pressure's getting to you. 324 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,291 It's making you act up. 325 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,640 I ain't the one who messed up today, okay? 326 00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:53,833 What you talking about? 327 00:16:55,583 --> 00:16:57,023 What do you think I'm talking about? 328 00:16:57,208 --> 00:16:59,666 Do you really want to do this? 329 00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:03,559 You were supposed to be marking him. 330 00:17:03,583 --> 00:17:04,767 You were supposed to be covering. 331 00:17:04,791 --> 00:17:06,250 - It was your zone! - I pushed up. 332 00:17:06,333 --> 00:17:08,642 It was your zone! That was the whole point in that session. 333 00:17:08,666 --> 00:17:11,476 We were playing the overlap. That means my man becomes your man, vice versa. 334 00:17:11,500 --> 00:17:13,500 Every time before I've pushed on, you dropped back. 335 00:17:13,583 --> 00:17:15,666 - So I pushed up that time. - I was already up. 336 00:17:15,750 --> 00:17:18,875 - Look, it wasn't me coach shouted at. - I know. I know it wasn't. 337 00:17:18,958 --> 00:17:21,125 - What was I supposed to do? - Not go flying up 338 00:17:21,208 --> 00:17:23,333 when I was already up, leaving us open at the back! 339 00:17:23,416 --> 00:17:24,583 It was only a training game! 340 00:17:24,666 --> 00:17:26,625 Well, I'm saying in the game, 341 00:17:27,166 --> 00:17:28,958 don't leave me looking like I lost my man. 342 00:17:29,041 --> 00:17:31,250 I'm saying in the game, don't lose your man. 343 00:17:31,583 --> 00:17:34,166 Uh! We were playing the overlap. 344 00:17:34,250 --> 00:17:35,476 That means my man... where you going? 345 00:17:35,500 --> 00:17:37,434 - Don't just fucking walk off... - I'm going for a piss. 346 00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,767 - No, we were talking, don't just walk off. - I'm going for a piss, okay? 347 00:17:39,791 --> 00:17:42,333 - Oh, yes, okay. - Good. Oh, just so as you know, 348 00:17:42,416 --> 00:17:44,666 I'll be leaving a space this side of the room. 349 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:48,291 You think it's too big, Jase, you might want to push up and cover it. 350 00:17:48,375 --> 00:17:50,541 Next time you fancy a shot at glory, 351 00:17:50,625 --> 00:17:53,708 how about you give me a bit of advance notice, you cunt? 352 00:18:05,125 --> 00:18:06,333 They were laughing at you. 353 00:18:07,541 --> 00:18:10,708 Deano, Leesy, laughing at taking your money at cards 354 00:18:10,791 --> 00:18:13,231 - and how you think you're one of the boys. - That's bollocks. 355 00:18:15,125 --> 00:18:16,875 Said they thought you was a bit suspect. 356 00:18:18,333 --> 00:18:21,208 When was this? 357 00:18:21,291 --> 00:18:23,250 - When you was in the shower. - How do you mean? 358 00:18:23,833 --> 00:18:26,000 - Different. - Different. Different? 359 00:18:26,083 --> 00:18:27,666 What's that supposed to mean, huh? 360 00:18:32,041 --> 00:18:33,041 A bit... 361 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,041 you know, man. 362 00:18:37,833 --> 00:18:39,166 No, I don't know. 363 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,291 A bit posh, mate. 364 00:18:47,875 --> 00:18:50,916 Posh? 365 00:18:51,541 --> 00:18:56,208 I'm from Stanford-Le-fucking-Hope! 366 00:18:56,875 --> 00:18:58,666 You ain't exactly from the Ends, are you? 367 00:19:08,291 --> 00:19:09,416 I'm having a beer. 368 00:19:10,166 --> 00:19:11,458 Cracking up, is it? 369 00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,695 Look, let's not pretend that we don't know what's going on. 370 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,416 They can't keep us both on, not with this new formation. 371 00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:22,416 Yeah, I know that, Ade. I am not thick. 372 00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,166 There is a window. I can see it closing. 373 00:19:24,250 --> 00:19:26,083 If I'm in a better position tomorrow 374 00:19:26,166 --> 00:19:29,458 and I'm on, will you pass me the ball? 375 00:19:30,875 --> 00:19:32,125 This guy... 376 00:19:37,916 --> 00:19:40,541 When your chance come, Jase, you best take it, 377 00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:42,906 'cause that's what I'm going to do. It's nothing personal. 378 00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:44,666 Really? Really? 379 00:19:45,750 --> 00:19:47,166 Maybe I need this more than you. 380 00:19:51,916 --> 00:19:54,458 This is stupid. 381 00:19:55,875 --> 00:19:57,416 Look, whatever happens... 382 00:19:58,750 --> 00:20:02,958 we... will always be brothers, yeah? 383 00:20:03,833 --> 00:20:07,000 - Here. - No. We got a game tomorrow. 384 00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:10,166 Ade, are you leaving me hanging? 385 00:20:11,958 --> 00:20:12,958 Ade... 386 00:20:15,041 --> 00:20:16,166 We're brothers. 387 00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:34,041 You doughnut. 388 00:20:36,916 --> 00:20:38,083 Frickin' hell, man. 389 00:20:38,625 --> 00:20:41,958 - What's the mat... oi! - Ah! Ah! 390 00:20:42,291 --> 00:20:44,458 - What, huh? Yeah? - Oh, you fucker! Don't stop. 391 00:20:44,541 --> 00:20:46,833 - Shall I give you a hug? Huh? - Oh, yes, yes, don't stop. 392 00:20:46,916 --> 00:20:49,500 - Do you want to squeeze me plums? - I'll squeeze your plums. 393 00:20:50,541 --> 00:20:51,875 He does it all! Matron! 394 00:20:51,958 --> 00:20:53,500 Ah! Ah! 395 00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:55,166 What the fuck? 396 00:20:55,375 --> 00:20:57,458 - I'll feel your plums. - Seriously, what the fuck? 397 00:20:58,333 --> 00:21:00,083 - What? - You got a fucking hard-on! 398 00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:01,541 - No, I don't. - No, you did, mate. 399 00:21:01,625 --> 00:21:04,083 - I felt it. You had a fucking hard-on. - No. 400 00:21:04,166 --> 00:21:05,406 - Nah, man. - You did. 401 00:21:07,166 --> 00:21:08,958 I won't be keeping this to myself. 402 00:21:09,208 --> 00:21:11,791 - Please, man. Mate, it's nothing. I... - Oh, no, man, no. 403 00:21:11,875 --> 00:21:14,583 - No, I'll tell everyone about this. - I get nervous before a game. 404 00:21:14,666 --> 00:21:16,166 - Yeah, yeah. - Wait. Huh? 405 00:21:17,083 --> 00:21:18,083 Pulling your leg. 406 00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,583 Doughnut. 407 00:21:19,708 --> 00:21:21,541 Oi, I'm pulling your leg. 408 00:21:24,875 --> 00:21:28,000 Loads of people get a hard-on before a game. 409 00:21:28,625 --> 00:21:29,625 I know I do. 410 00:21:30,083 --> 00:21:31,458 I get a massive hard-on. 411 00:21:32,583 --> 00:21:35,666 - Do you? - Yeah, of course. 412 00:21:37,500 --> 00:21:39,375 You all right? 413 00:21:40,958 --> 00:21:43,416 All right? You look scared. 414 00:21:43,500 --> 00:21:44,541 Why would I be scared? 415 00:21:45,875 --> 00:21:46,875 Oh. 416 00:21:47,500 --> 00:21:49,833 Give us a cuddle. 417 00:21:51,458 --> 00:21:53,625 You bum boy. 418 00:21:55,208 --> 00:21:56,583 Oh... 419 00:21:58,375 --> 00:22:00,666 oh... 420 00:22:10,458 --> 00:22:13,208 - You're very huggable, Ade. - Piss off. 421 00:23:07,291 --> 00:23:08,291 Doughnut. 422 00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:36,333 Oh. Oh. Oh! 423 00:23:37,916 --> 00:23:41,291 - Oh, oh. - He just popped you? 424 00:23:41,375 --> 00:23:43,291 Oh, fuck. If he's broken it, I won't be happy. 425 00:23:43,375 --> 00:23:46,083 - Oh, fuck. - I reckon it's an improvement, actually. 426 00:23:46,166 --> 00:23:47,875 Oh, well, that's nice. Sympathy. 427 00:23:47,958 --> 00:23:50,000 My nan hits harder than that. 428 00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:51,563 Is she a bit of a bruiser? 429 00:23:51,625 --> 00:23:54,291 Argh! Argh! Shit! 430 00:23:54,375 --> 00:23:56,625 - Serves you right, you cheeky bastard. - Argh! 431 00:23:56,708 --> 00:23:59,666 Oh, this fucking... oh, fuck. 432 00:24:04,416 --> 00:24:06,333 - Do I look sexy? - Mmm. 433 00:24:06,416 --> 00:24:09,041 Blood on your shirt, bust-up nose. You look well fit. 434 00:24:09,125 --> 00:24:11,208 Yeah? Girls like that, bit of blood. 435 00:24:11,291 --> 00:24:14,125 Oh, yeah. I love a fella who can't handle himself. 436 00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,375 Think I broke his camera, the twat. 437 00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:19,666 I know. Why do you think he was so upset? 438 00:24:19,750 --> 00:24:22,790 Oh, you know what, I'd have floored him if you hadn't got in the fucking way. 439 00:24:23,375 --> 00:24:25,208 Hold your head back, soft lad. 440 00:24:25,291 --> 00:24:26,958 Oh, careful, careful, careful, careful. 441 00:24:27,041 --> 00:24:28,041 Ah. 442 00:24:28,541 --> 00:24:31,583 Them bouncers were, like, bosh. 443 00:24:31,666 --> 00:24:33,500 He was shitting himself. 444 00:24:33,583 --> 00:24:35,708 I know, I could smell it. 445 00:24:35,791 --> 00:24:36,958 Oi, oi, oi, oi, oi. 446 00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:42,125 - Do I not look a bit sexy? Huh? - Oh. 447 00:24:42,875 --> 00:24:45,000 - Maybes a bit. - Ah. 448 00:24:45,083 --> 00:24:46,750 Ah. 449 00:24:55,958 --> 00:25:00,000 Clean yourself up, you little slut. 450 00:25:01,916 --> 00:25:04,416 - Get us a shirt. - Where are they? 451 00:25:04,500 --> 00:25:07,125 Uh, should be some clobber on the bed. 452 00:25:42,208 --> 00:25:44,125 Someone's been eating their Shredded Wheat. 453 00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:51,333 Huh? Huh? 454 00:25:52,541 --> 00:25:54,791 Oh, you look like you're taking a shit. 455 00:26:00,416 --> 00:26:03,958 What's that? Is that your sexy face? 456 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:05,250 No. 457 00:26:05,833 --> 00:26:07,208 It's my cum face. 458 00:26:11,458 --> 00:26:13,375 Oh, does that happen a lot? 459 00:26:13,875 --> 00:26:15,958 Getting hassle off the paparazzi? 460 00:26:16,041 --> 00:26:17,708 Oh, normally they're all right. 461 00:26:17,875 --> 00:26:19,041 It's all fun and games. 462 00:26:20,083 --> 00:26:22,125 - I'm going to have a piss. - Can I watch? 463 00:26:23,541 --> 00:26:25,000 All right. 464 00:26:25,083 --> 00:26:27,333 - Fucking hell. - Do you want to hold me plonker? 465 00:26:27,416 --> 00:26:30,541 - No, you're all right, pet. - Well, it's your loss. It's a whopper. 466 00:26:35,625 --> 00:26:37,041 Ah. 467 00:26:38,833 --> 00:26:40,125 Fucking hell. 468 00:26:42,541 --> 00:26:44,083 Put some music on! 469 00:26:45,458 --> 00:26:46,583 Something jolly. 470 00:26:55,791 --> 00:26:57,500 Remote's in the wall! 471 00:26:58,250 --> 00:26:59,291 Got it! 472 00:27:07,791 --> 00:27:11,000 Is this what you listen to? 473 00:27:11,083 --> 00:27:12,500 What are you, 16? 474 00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:14,541 Oi! Fuck off, he's a mate. 475 00:27:15,291 --> 00:27:18,708 - Are you joking? - Did my birthday out in Miami. 476 00:27:18,791 --> 00:27:20,125 Are you serious? 477 00:27:45,541 --> 00:27:46,916 Jesus, man. 478 00:27:49,166 --> 00:27:50,500 Footballers. 479 00:27:58,291 --> 00:28:00,041 Fuck me. 480 00:28:00,583 --> 00:28:01,833 Are you a ninja? 481 00:28:02,500 --> 00:28:05,583 - It's all right, isn't it? - It's a bit like where I live. 482 00:28:05,666 --> 00:28:07,541 Uh-huh. 483 00:28:08,708 --> 00:28:10,000 Do you come here often? 484 00:28:10,500 --> 00:28:12,333 Uh, yeah, 485 00:28:12,416 --> 00:28:15,875 I try to stay on an extra day if we got a game down here if I can. 486 00:28:15,958 --> 00:28:18,500 They know me. They're discrete. 487 00:28:19,083 --> 00:28:20,791 You got family down here? 488 00:28:21,916 --> 00:28:24,083 Yeah. Mum and Dad still out east. 489 00:28:27,708 --> 00:28:28,875 Mmm. 490 00:28:33,500 --> 00:28:35,208 Let's do this inside. 491 00:28:35,291 --> 00:28:37,791 Fuck off. You're not on a promise. 492 00:28:37,875 --> 00:28:39,541 Oh, why, you think you can resist me? 493 00:28:39,625 --> 00:28:43,000 - All right. Easy, tiger. - Oh, come on, I'm horny. 494 00:28:43,083 --> 00:28:45,625 - Oh, my God. - What? 495 00:28:45,708 --> 00:28:48,166 Nothing. 496 00:28:48,750 --> 00:28:50,000 It's just you. 497 00:28:50,666 --> 00:28:51,708 What? 498 00:28:52,041 --> 00:28:53,750 You're not how I thought you'd be. 499 00:28:53,833 --> 00:28:56,208 - Yeah? - I thought you'd be less... 500 00:28:56,916 --> 00:28:57,916 Intelligent? 501 00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:00,000 Needy. 502 00:29:01,125 --> 00:29:02,125 "Needy"? 503 00:29:02,250 --> 00:29:04,708 That's the wrong word. Vulnerable. 504 00:29:05,458 --> 00:29:08,000 Vulnerable? What's that mean? 505 00:29:08,083 --> 00:29:10,166 It's like you need constant stimulation. 506 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:12,583 Yeah, I do need constant stimulation. 507 00:29:15,708 --> 00:29:18,458 I bet you were an annoying kid that needed constant attention. 508 00:29:18,541 --> 00:29:21,625 - Teachers fucking loved me. - Oh, you're one of those kids. 509 00:29:21,708 --> 00:29:23,375 Ah. I was quite popular. 510 00:29:23,458 --> 00:29:25,041 And what happened? 511 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:30,000 Oh, what? 512 00:29:30,416 --> 00:29:32,916 Oh, what? Did I annoy you? 513 00:29:33,250 --> 00:29:34,750 Oh, I did, didn't I? 514 00:29:35,208 --> 00:29:37,291 Oh, is it 'cause I called you vulnerable? 515 00:29:37,375 --> 00:29:39,434 - Let me tell you something, right? - What, is it about you? 516 00:29:39,458 --> 00:29:41,851 - My first proper game five years back, - Your favourite subject. 517 00:29:41,875 --> 00:29:42,958 - We was in Romania. - Yeah. 518 00:29:43,041 --> 00:29:44,976 It was my mate's first game, too. Away game in Romania. 519 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,666 - Is it a football story? Yes! - We were nervous as shit. Shh! 520 00:29:47,750 --> 00:29:50,583 And the ball comes to me at the edge of the box this high. 521 00:29:50,666 --> 00:29:52,750 And I had a choice then... 522 00:29:53,000 --> 00:29:56,250 Whether to knock it out to my mate or take the shot, 30 yards out. 523 00:29:56,333 --> 00:29:58,614 He's in a better position, I should have passed, I didn't. 524 00:29:58,666 --> 00:30:01,416 I hit it first time, bosh, top corner. 525 00:30:01,500 --> 00:30:03,916 Before I had time to blink, it had gone in, bang! 526 00:30:04,333 --> 00:30:06,958 Just like that. Goal of the season. 527 00:30:08,375 --> 00:30:10,916 What, so this is just a story about how great you are? 528 00:30:11,000 --> 00:30:12,000 No! 529 00:30:12,041 --> 00:30:14,083 You called me vulnerable and I'm just saying, 530 00:30:14,166 --> 00:30:16,846 you got to take your chances where they come 'cause life ain't fair, 531 00:30:16,916 --> 00:30:19,541 and when it comes to it, there ain't no room for emotion. 532 00:30:21,500 --> 00:30:24,750 And how did your mate feel, the one that you didn't pass to? 533 00:30:25,458 --> 00:30:26,833 Mmm, never asked. 534 00:30:28,541 --> 00:30:29,916 Is he still your mate? 535 00:30:36,541 --> 00:30:37,583 Yo. 536 00:30:46,708 --> 00:30:49,208 Just, uh, put it on the side there, please, mate. 537 00:31:07,208 --> 00:31:08,250 What you looking at? 538 00:31:44,458 --> 00:31:45,500 Whoa. 539 00:31:51,208 --> 00:31:53,291 Mm. 540 00:31:55,416 --> 00:31:57,541 Come on. Show us what you got. 541 00:31:59,583 --> 00:32:02,541 Come on! Come on! Give us a private show. 542 00:32:07,541 --> 00:32:09,041 It's my night off. 543 00:32:09,541 --> 00:32:10,851 You were dancing in the club tonight. 544 00:32:10,875 --> 00:32:12,333 - Well, that was work. - So? 545 00:32:21,500 --> 00:32:24,000 I like to keep work and my private life separate. 546 00:32:24,083 --> 00:32:25,083 Oh, yeah? 547 00:32:26,625 --> 00:32:29,083 I'm just going to go and powder my nose. 548 00:32:29,166 --> 00:32:32,208 - Mm? Do you mean have a piss? - Mm-hmm. 549 00:32:32,583 --> 00:32:36,458 A nice long hot one dedicated to you. 550 00:33:23,166 --> 00:33:25,291 I'll show you mine if you show me yours. 551 00:33:25,708 --> 00:33:26,708 What? 552 00:33:27,750 --> 00:33:29,208 Your moves! 553 00:33:29,625 --> 00:33:33,000 Ah! All right. Yeah, baby. 554 00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:36,208 What, is that your moves? 555 00:33:36,291 --> 00:33:37,416 Yeah, you like? 556 00:33:38,125 --> 00:33:40,333 Mm-hmm, there's plenty more where that came from. 557 00:33:40,416 --> 00:33:42,791 - Go on, then. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 558 00:33:42,875 --> 00:33:44,791 I'd say you'd better call emergency services 559 00:33:44,875 --> 00:33:48,125 - 'cause some of these are dangerous. - You nearly took me eye out. 560 00:33:48,208 --> 00:33:49,666 There's, er, this. 561 00:33:51,333 --> 00:33:52,541 Yeah, yeah, there's this. 562 00:33:52,625 --> 00:33:56,583 What's that, ba-ba? Oh-ba-ba-ba-ba-na, ba-ba-ba! 563 00:33:56,666 --> 00:33:58,583 And there's this. There's this. 564 00:33:58,666 --> 00:34:01,916 What's this? Oh! Oh, what's this? What's this cheeky little fellow? 565 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:05,291 What's he doing, eh? He's on fire. The boy is on fire. 566 00:34:05,375 --> 00:34:06,833 What is that, Lord of the Dance? 567 00:34:06,916 --> 00:34:09,416 You are in the presence of something special here. 568 00:34:09,500 --> 00:34:11,958 Ah, yeah, special's the word. 569 00:34:12,041 --> 00:34:15,916 That routine you did at the club tonight, that was impressive. 570 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,500 - Well, it's harder than people think. - What, dancing around a pole? 571 00:34:19,583 --> 00:34:21,458 Or kicking a ball? 572 00:34:26,625 --> 00:34:29,541 - Do you like that? - Yeah, right there. Mm-hmm. 573 00:34:31,250 --> 00:34:32,583 Show us your tits. 574 00:34:36,625 --> 00:34:39,583 All right. Slow down, man. 575 00:34:39,666 --> 00:34:42,208 Mm-hmm. Take it off. 576 00:34:42,750 --> 00:34:44,041 Come on, take it off. 577 00:34:44,166 --> 00:34:46,916 Come on. Take it off. You hear what I said? Take it off. 578 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,750 I said take it off. Come on. 579 00:34:48,833 --> 00:34:49,958 I'm sorry. 580 00:34:50,625 --> 00:34:54,125 Sorry. I can't do this. 581 00:34:55,291 --> 00:34:56,541 Can't do what? 582 00:34:57,750 --> 00:35:00,166 This. I can't do this. I'm just... 583 00:35:15,708 --> 00:35:16,833 Is this what you're after? 584 00:35:18,750 --> 00:35:20,041 Can I have my bag, please? 585 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,875 I'm... I'm just going to go. 586 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,083 No, you don't. 587 00:35:27,541 --> 00:35:30,083 - Just give us me bag. - What do you need your bag for? 588 00:35:30,166 --> 00:35:31,916 - Well, it's got my stuff. - What "stuff"? 589 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,291 Lipstick, tissues. 590 00:35:33,375 --> 00:35:36,166 - What? Do you want an inventory? - Yeah, what else? 591 00:35:36,250 --> 00:35:39,833 There might be a bit of fluff and a tampon, I'm not sure. 592 00:35:39,916 --> 00:35:41,166 And the camera? 593 00:35:43,833 --> 00:35:46,125 - Camera? - Mm-hmm. 594 00:35:47,166 --> 00:35:49,916 There's a camera on my phone, if that's what you're talking about. 595 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:51,000 Mm-hmm. 596 00:35:55,041 --> 00:35:56,083 What are you doing? 597 00:35:59,208 --> 00:36:02,458 - Right, I'm calling the police. - No, you ain't calling no one. 598 00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:04,017 I'm calling them. You paranoid bastard. 599 00:36:04,041 --> 00:36:06,625 Good. We'll have a chat with them about this and all, shall we? 600 00:36:07,416 --> 00:36:08,458 Fuck. 601 00:36:16,083 --> 00:36:17,416 It wasn't my idea. 602 00:36:21,208 --> 00:36:23,125 They approached me. 603 00:36:26,000 --> 00:36:30,208 I've never done this before, all right? I'm not that sort of person. 604 00:36:30,291 --> 00:36:32,750 Oh, yeah. Well, apparently you are. 605 00:36:34,000 --> 00:36:36,625 Look, I thought I could do it, but I was wrong, all right? 606 00:36:37,125 --> 00:36:39,541 Just... just give us me keys and me purse. 607 00:36:39,625 --> 00:36:41,291 I'm... I'm just going to go. 608 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,208 But you can't go. 609 00:36:44,375 --> 00:36:45,583 Why can't I? 610 00:36:47,416 --> 00:36:49,708 'Cause of what you signed, darlin'. 611 00:36:51,458 --> 00:36:54,791 What? How do you know what I signed or I didn't sign? 612 00:36:58,708 --> 00:37:00,041 Did you know about this? 613 00:37:00,541 --> 00:37:04,083 What, do you... do you think I'm fucking stupid? 614 00:37:05,041 --> 00:37:06,166 Of course I know. 615 00:37:08,750 --> 00:37:10,458 Are you saying that you planned this? 616 00:37:12,125 --> 00:37:14,541 What the fuck is going on, 'cause this is... 617 00:37:15,625 --> 00:37:19,583 Why would you... why would you film yourself cheating on your wife? 618 00:37:20,333 --> 00:37:22,291 Was this... was this a dare or... 619 00:37:22,375 --> 00:37:24,416 some way of proving that you're... 620 00:37:25,166 --> 00:37:26,375 A man or... 621 00:37:26,458 --> 00:37:27,708 Ah. 622 00:37:30,541 --> 00:37:32,708 - Let's have a drink. - What? 623 00:37:33,041 --> 00:37:35,333 I got the mood wrong. You know, I misjudged things. 624 00:37:35,416 --> 00:37:36,517 Come on, let's have a drink. 625 00:37:36,541 --> 00:37:39,458 I was just talking sexy, you know, I was talking a bit dirty. 626 00:37:39,541 --> 00:37:41,976 I was trying to get you into it. Thought you'd be into it. That's all. 627 00:37:42,000 --> 00:37:44,250 It was just sexy talk. I didn't mean nothing. 628 00:37:44,333 --> 00:37:46,500 I thought you'd like it, but you didn't. 629 00:37:46,583 --> 00:37:48,250 I got the mood wrong, so let's just... 630 00:37:49,625 --> 00:37:51,458 Look, let's just take it nice and slow. 631 00:37:52,250 --> 00:37:54,125 You think we're still going to do this? 632 00:37:55,291 --> 00:37:56,458 Well, why not? 633 00:37:57,875 --> 00:37:59,041 Why not? It'll be laugh. 634 00:37:59,166 --> 00:38:00,625 - A "laugh"? - Yeah. 635 00:38:00,708 --> 00:38:02,833 Well, making a sex tape and selling it to the papers, 636 00:38:02,916 --> 00:38:04,916 that's a laugh for you, is it? 637 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:06,958 What, that's a fucking weekend for you? 638 00:38:08,708 --> 00:38:09,875 Do you know what? 639 00:38:10,916 --> 00:38:12,458 - No, you don't. - I've had enough. 640 00:38:12,541 --> 00:38:14,125 - No, no. - No, you put your hands on me 641 00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:16,916 - and I'll scream my fucking head off! - Keep your voice down. 642 00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:18,226 Don't tell me to keep my voice down. 643 00:38:18,250 --> 00:38:21,083 Fine, but let's just keep our fucking heads, all right? 644 00:38:21,166 --> 00:38:23,500 Let's talk like mature fucking adults. 645 00:38:23,625 --> 00:38:25,333 Is that what you think we are? 646 00:38:27,500 --> 00:38:28,916 I want to know what's going on. 647 00:38:29,125 --> 00:38:31,267 - Fuck, just sit yourself down. - I don't want to sit down! 648 00:38:31,291 --> 00:38:33,291 Oh, my fucking God. Lyndsey, darling, 649 00:38:33,375 --> 00:38:34,851 I'm gathering my thoughts, all right? 650 00:38:34,875 --> 00:38:36,476 I can't think with all this fucking hoopla. 651 00:38:36,500 --> 00:38:38,041 I'm gathering my thoughts. 652 00:38:39,500 --> 00:38:40,500 Je... 653 00:38:46,541 --> 00:38:47,541 Jesus. 654 00:38:50,666 --> 00:38:51,666 Look. 655 00:38:56,291 --> 00:38:58,291 - It's nothing. - What's nothing? 656 00:38:58,375 --> 00:39:02,833 Some... some little dickhead's shooting his mouth off telling stories. 657 00:39:02,916 --> 00:39:05,791 - It's just fucking bullshit. - What's bullshit? 658 00:39:05,875 --> 00:39:07,684 It doesn't matter, what's bullshit, because it ain't true. 659 00:39:07,708 --> 00:39:09,726 Well, if it doesn't matter, why you doing this? 660 00:39:09,750 --> 00:39:11,791 Because he's telling stories. 661 00:39:11,875 --> 00:39:13,041 Well, what kind of stories? 662 00:39:13,125 --> 00:39:17,458 Look, uh, this is what I am trying to explain to you, if you'd just listen. 663 00:39:18,375 --> 00:39:21,125 It doesn't matter what kind of stories, 664 00:39:21,208 --> 00:39:22,458 because they ain't true. 665 00:39:23,291 --> 00:39:25,458 - What kind of stories? - Look... 666 00:39:28,458 --> 00:39:29,916 I'm having trouble with my wife. 667 00:39:31,416 --> 00:39:32,536 That's all you need to know. 668 00:39:33,166 --> 00:39:34,875 And this is your way of solving it? 669 00:39:34,958 --> 00:39:37,833 Who is advising you, Russell fucking Brand? 670 00:39:37,916 --> 00:39:39,196 Look, we ain't together no more. 671 00:39:39,750 --> 00:39:40,791 Okay? 672 00:39:40,875 --> 00:39:43,791 We ain't together no more and people don't know yet 673 00:39:43,875 --> 00:39:45,958 and she's trying to stop me seeing my kids. 674 00:39:46,166 --> 00:39:48,333 And these kinds of rumours are exactly the thing 675 00:39:48,416 --> 00:39:50,336 - I don't need right now. - What kind of rumours? 676 00:40:00,291 --> 00:40:03,916 - Why are you laughing? - Oh, my God. 677 00:40:04,083 --> 00:40:05,083 What? 678 00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:07,666 You're gay! 679 00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,875 - You what? - You're gay, aren't you? 680 00:40:14,125 --> 00:40:16,833 That's what this is, that's what this fella's been saying, isn't it? 681 00:40:16,916 --> 00:40:19,083 Gay? Gay? 682 00:40:19,166 --> 00:40:21,458 Are you out your fucking mind? Gay? Of course I'm not gay. 683 00:40:21,958 --> 00:40:24,291 Look at me. I'm a footballer. 684 00:40:24,375 --> 00:40:26,208 Oh, yeah, yeah. 'Cause it's such a man's game. 685 00:40:26,291 --> 00:40:29,375 All of them buff lads together and no one ever fancies a fuck? 686 00:40:29,458 --> 00:40:31,458 What, are you monks? 687 00:40:31,541 --> 00:40:32,851 Don't know what you're talking about. 688 00:40:32,875 --> 00:40:35,166 That's why you're always doubling up with girls, isn't it? 689 00:40:35,250 --> 00:40:38,875 Even the straight lads can't get a hard-on without another fuckin' fella in the room. 690 00:40:38,958 --> 00:40:43,083 People rely on me. I got responsibilities. People expect things. 691 00:40:43,166 --> 00:40:45,184 - What's that got to do with being gay? - I got fans. 692 00:40:45,208 --> 00:40:47,500 I got a family. I'm a fucking role model. 693 00:40:47,583 --> 00:40:48,583 A role model? 694 00:40:48,625 --> 00:40:51,166 Little kids have posters of me on their wall. 695 00:40:51,250 --> 00:40:53,833 Grown men and women buy fucking shirts, 696 00:40:53,916 --> 00:40:55,851 keyrings, mouse mats with my name on. 697 00:40:55,875 --> 00:40:58,916 Men get razor blades because they're the ones I use. 698 00:40:59,000 --> 00:41:00,791 Japanese people drink the same whiskey as me 699 00:41:00,875 --> 00:41:03,000 and it's all because of the kind of man I am. 700 00:41:03,083 --> 00:41:05,875 So if you think I'm just going to rock up to Mardi Gras 701 00:41:05,958 --> 00:41:07,833 with fucking feathers falling out of my arse... 702 00:41:07,916 --> 00:41:09,976 - And then play football - 'Cause that's what happens. 703 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:13,500 In front of 70,000 fans, you're in cloud fucking cuckoo land, darling. 704 00:41:13,583 --> 00:41:16,000 - Oh, my god. - 'Cause I ain't gay. 705 00:41:17,916 --> 00:41:19,416 Gay ain't even an option. 706 00:41:22,791 --> 00:41:26,083 Jesus Christ, Jason, what year do you think this is? 707 00:41:26,708 --> 00:41:29,791 What year? It's fucking 1966 out there, darling, hmm? 708 00:41:29,875 --> 00:41:31,958 It's fucking 1066. 709 00:41:36,000 --> 00:41:37,750 You know what? I worked hard for this. 710 00:41:37,833 --> 00:41:41,166 I sweated blood, so if you think I'm just going to give it up 711 00:41:41,250 --> 00:41:43,958 'cause some scratchy little cunt is shooting his mouth off, 712 00:41:44,041 --> 00:41:45,875 trying to make a few quid, fuck off! 713 00:41:45,958 --> 00:41:48,208 Do you know what? Maybes I will sit down. 714 00:41:48,291 --> 00:41:50,458 No, you stay on your feet! 715 00:41:54,458 --> 00:41:57,625 Do you... do you think it's just me, hmm? 716 00:41:59,083 --> 00:42:00,791 Do you think people are truthful? 717 00:42:00,875 --> 00:42:06,166 The whole world is full of people pretending to be something they're not. 718 00:42:06,250 --> 00:42:08,958 The fuck I do or don't do 719 00:42:09,041 --> 00:42:12,416 with my life is up to me, right? 720 00:42:12,500 --> 00:42:16,833 No one else decides, so if I say "I ain't gay", I ain't gay. 721 00:42:18,375 --> 00:42:21,291 The only thing that matters is what I do on the pitch. 722 00:42:21,375 --> 00:42:24,416 So, if there are things I need to get my head in the right place, 723 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,916 if I need a wife and kid, 724 00:42:27,333 --> 00:42:30,750 yeah, if I need to fuck a woman, 725 00:42:32,541 --> 00:42:33,541 or a man... 726 00:42:34,458 --> 00:42:39,041 you know what, or a fucking apricot for that matter, then that's what I do. 727 00:42:45,833 --> 00:42:46,833 Look. 728 00:42:49,083 --> 00:42:50,208 Let's just do this, 729 00:42:51,041 --> 00:42:52,041 huh? 730 00:42:52,708 --> 00:42:53,750 Let's just do it. 731 00:42:54,500 --> 00:42:55,750 You'll get your money. 732 00:42:56,750 --> 00:42:57,791 Everyone's happy. 733 00:42:57,875 --> 00:43:00,291 Yeah, it's just that, erm... 734 00:43:01,041 --> 00:43:03,583 I'm just not sure I want to any more, 735 00:43:03,666 --> 00:43:04,976 - do you know what I mean? - You know what? 736 00:43:05,000 --> 00:43:07,291 Fuck off, as if you've got a choice. 737 00:43:09,500 --> 00:43:11,125 You don't know the first thing about me. 738 00:43:11,208 --> 00:43:12,851 You don't know what I need or what I don't need. 739 00:43:12,875 --> 00:43:14,267 So don't tell me what I can or I can't do. 740 00:43:14,291 --> 00:43:16,059 'Cause you're not the one that gets to fucking decide. 741 00:43:16,083 --> 00:43:19,833 Look, do you want this fucking money or not? 742 00:43:23,250 --> 00:43:24,250 Nah. 743 00:43:31,083 --> 00:43:33,000 I want double what we agreed. 744 00:43:38,166 --> 00:43:40,208 Okay All right. 745 00:43:41,083 --> 00:43:42,250 Double it is. 746 00:43:51,750 --> 00:43:54,791 We'll have to, erm, reset it. 747 00:43:55,291 --> 00:43:57,083 It's got us talking on it. 748 00:44:19,291 --> 00:44:20,416 Have you done this before? 749 00:44:23,750 --> 00:44:25,375 - Would it make a difference? - Yeah. 750 00:44:25,458 --> 00:44:27,434 Well, they were supposed to find someone who'd done it before. 751 00:44:27,458 --> 00:44:29,333 - I told them I'd done it before. - Why? 752 00:44:30,333 --> 00:44:32,583 Because they wanted someone who'd done it before. 753 00:44:37,208 --> 00:44:38,291 You're not getting me. 754 00:44:40,208 --> 00:44:41,583 This isn't me. 755 00:44:43,000 --> 00:44:45,875 I'm playing a role, but you'd know all about that, wouldn't you? 756 00:44:45,958 --> 00:44:48,438 - Just make it look good, all right? - Oh, don't worry, I will. 757 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:51,083 Who is he? 758 00:44:53,500 --> 00:44:54,750 Who are you thinking about? 759 00:44:56,458 --> 00:44:59,166 Because I can tell by looking in your eyes it isn't me, is it? 760 00:46:04,208 --> 00:46:05,875 Come here, you cunt. 761 00:46:06,250 --> 00:46:07,416 Good to see you, man. 762 00:46:07,500 --> 00:46:09,541 You haven't changed. Look at you. 763 00:46:09,750 --> 00:46:12,375 Well, apart from that. What is that? 764 00:46:12,458 --> 00:46:14,833 This? It's what a man looks like. 765 00:46:15,000 --> 00:46:16,750 - Is it? - Yeah. 766 00:46:17,125 --> 00:46:18,125 Come in. 767 00:46:19,458 --> 00:46:20,458 Drink? 768 00:46:22,708 --> 00:46:24,416 Got a nice Sancerre on the go. 769 00:46:25,458 --> 00:46:27,666 Yeah. Nice Sancerre sounds, er... 770 00:46:28,583 --> 00:46:30,625 Saw your website for your company. 771 00:46:31,125 --> 00:46:34,125 Some lovely testimonials. "Excellent finish." 772 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,833 - Yeah. - That was Jojo and his missus. 773 00:46:36,916 --> 00:46:38,166 It's all right, innit? 774 00:46:39,041 --> 00:46:41,708 I got so much respect for you, Ade. 775 00:46:42,666 --> 00:46:43,666 Thanks. 776 00:46:44,458 --> 00:46:45,583 What do you reckon? 777 00:46:48,083 --> 00:46:50,000 - Yeah, man, it's good. Mmm. - Yeah. 778 00:46:50,083 --> 00:46:51,963 Plenty more where that came from. 779 00:46:53,083 --> 00:46:54,250 Where's all your stuff? 780 00:46:54,708 --> 00:46:57,166 Mmm, everything's in storage. 781 00:46:57,250 --> 00:47:00,500 Karen got our place, just for the kids, really. 782 00:47:00,875 --> 00:47:03,375 - Yeah, I was sorry to hear that, man. - Yeah. Check this out. 783 00:47:04,833 --> 00:47:06,416 Bosh! 784 00:47:07,375 --> 00:47:09,208 So do you get to see 'em, the kids? 785 00:47:09,583 --> 00:47:12,166 Um, well, you know, it's tricky, that. 786 00:47:12,250 --> 00:47:13,500 I don't want to confuse 'em. 787 00:47:14,125 --> 00:47:15,208 You've seen the tape? 788 00:47:15,458 --> 00:47:17,083 Well, I didn't watch it, but... 789 00:47:17,166 --> 00:47:18,708 Expensive 12 minutes that was. 790 00:47:18,791 --> 00:47:21,125 - Only 12? - If I'd known how popular it'd be 791 00:47:21,208 --> 00:47:23,375 I'd have drawn it out, turned it into a box set. 792 00:47:23,458 --> 00:47:26,333 Erm, pass us them pills, will you? 793 00:47:28,625 --> 00:47:29,625 Chop, chop. 794 00:47:35,500 --> 00:47:38,458 Seeing as you're up, uh, fetch us a beer. 795 00:47:38,541 --> 00:47:39,958 The fridge is just there. 796 00:47:40,833 --> 00:47:42,208 What did your last slave die of? 797 00:47:42,291 --> 00:47:43,291 AIDS. 798 00:47:43,541 --> 00:47:44,583 AIDS. 799 00:47:49,458 --> 00:47:51,166 They're, uh... they're for my knee. 800 00:47:52,666 --> 00:47:54,916 - I'm so used to them now, I forget. - Mm. 801 00:48:02,291 --> 00:48:03,458 Do you still play? 802 00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:04,833 - I turn up. - Hmm? 803 00:48:04,916 --> 00:48:06,416 - Whereabouts? - Marshes. 804 00:48:08,041 --> 00:48:10,958 Hackney Marshes! Pitches still shit? 805 00:48:11,041 --> 00:48:12,750 Yes. 806 00:48:12,833 --> 00:48:15,000 I bet you're like Ronaldo with that lot. 807 00:48:15,083 --> 00:48:16,123 I am quite good, actually. 808 00:48:16,166 --> 00:48:19,291 Ah! "Ronaldo of the Marshes." 809 00:48:21,375 --> 00:48:22,958 My old man used to play there. 810 00:48:23,458 --> 00:48:25,375 Yeah. Read about it. 811 00:48:25,458 --> 00:48:27,083 Sorry, man. 812 00:48:28,375 --> 00:48:32,041 I didn't mind him skimming a bit, you know, it's my dad. But it got silly. 813 00:48:32,458 --> 00:48:33,958 I had the taxman onto me. 814 00:48:35,166 --> 00:48:37,791 Oh, you know... he's got his golf. 815 00:48:38,500 --> 00:48:40,460 Two hundred years old, that. Belonged to Napoleon. 816 00:48:43,083 --> 00:48:45,375 How's your knee? I heard you had keyhole. 817 00:48:45,458 --> 00:48:49,125 Arthroscopy. Pretty standard op these days. 818 00:48:49,583 --> 00:48:53,375 I ain't the same over five yards, but got it up here. 819 00:48:54,166 --> 00:48:56,642 I had it booked in a year back, but they brought that Sierra Leone kid in. 820 00:48:56,666 --> 00:48:58,786 I thought, can't take time off now, I'd lose my place. 821 00:48:59,125 --> 00:49:00,541 But after that sending off, 822 00:49:01,125 --> 00:49:04,541 thought missing the end of season, may as well get it sorted. 823 00:49:04,625 --> 00:49:06,791 Five match ban. That was pretty serious, man. 824 00:49:08,000 --> 00:49:09,351 Cunt had it coming. 825 00:49:09,375 --> 00:49:10,541 Pretty bad tackle, man. 826 00:49:11,875 --> 00:49:14,583 Giving it that all game and just... uh... 827 00:49:16,583 --> 00:49:19,458 My mum was a bit shocked, to be honest, you know? 828 00:49:19,666 --> 00:49:23,500 My concentration. My time away, it's done me good. 829 00:49:25,083 --> 00:49:28,541 Go on, then. You're on. Oh! 830 00:49:29,416 --> 00:49:31,000 See if you can beat my time. 831 00:49:45,291 --> 00:49:46,416 Hotel not got a gym? 832 00:49:46,541 --> 00:49:48,291 Uh. 833 00:49:48,375 --> 00:49:50,916 I can't be done with the hassle, sweating away, 834 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:53,458 someone wants an autograph for his nephew every two seconds. 835 00:49:53,541 --> 00:49:55,291 Makes a good training base. 836 00:49:55,375 --> 00:49:59,375 Room service. Chef here's got two stars. They got a 20-metre pool, too. 837 00:49:59,458 --> 00:50:00,458 I got me own key. 838 00:50:00,541 --> 00:50:02,267 I use it in the middle of the night when it's quiet. 839 00:50:02,291 --> 00:50:03,916 When do you sleep? 840 00:50:04,083 --> 00:50:06,708 The amount of energy drinks I'm on with this training regime, 841 00:50:06,791 --> 00:50:08,916 I'm up half the night. Painkillers don't help. 842 00:50:09,000 --> 00:50:11,166 My clock is all wonky. 843 00:50:11,250 --> 00:50:14,875 I don't know if it's fucking night or fucking day. 844 00:50:18,416 --> 00:50:20,916 - Do you swim? - One K every day. 845 00:50:21,250 --> 00:50:22,416 Good boy! 846 00:50:23,375 --> 00:50:24,875 Do you do tumble turns? 847 00:50:24,958 --> 00:50:27,791 Proper turns, like on the Olympics. 848 00:50:28,625 --> 00:50:30,958 It's quite fun, this. 849 00:50:32,291 --> 00:50:33,916 See that dot? That's you. 850 00:50:34,458 --> 00:50:35,583 See the other dot? 851 00:50:36,208 --> 00:50:38,166 - What, the one in front? - Uh-huh. That's me. 852 00:50:41,375 --> 00:50:45,583 Ah. Well, you'll mess your nice shirt up. 853 00:51:01,125 --> 00:51:04,291 Oh. Paul Smith, woo! 854 00:51:04,375 --> 00:51:05,875 Fuck off. 855 00:51:07,083 --> 00:51:08,750 Jojo says you're out of contract. 856 00:51:08,916 --> 00:51:10,666 - Says you're looking for a club. - Yeah. 857 00:51:10,750 --> 00:51:12,125 I'm having a bit of a stocktake. 858 00:51:12,708 --> 00:51:14,916 Ah. Something about a club in India? 859 00:51:15,250 --> 00:51:17,166 Super League. That's where the money is. 860 00:51:17,250 --> 00:51:19,226 They're setting up the infrastructure, getting players in. 861 00:51:19,250 --> 00:51:21,875 - India, though? - Well, good enough for Del Piero. 862 00:51:21,958 --> 00:51:23,833 End of his career. 863 00:51:23,916 --> 00:51:24,956 You're getting old, is it? 864 00:51:25,000 --> 00:51:27,101 You sound out of breath, mate. Don't have a heart attack on me. 865 00:51:27,125 --> 00:51:29,101 You're worried about them young pups taking your place. 866 00:51:29,125 --> 00:51:30,125 Mm. 867 00:51:30,916 --> 00:51:32,625 You got ten seconds to catch me up. 868 00:51:37,250 --> 00:51:38,708 Mm. 869 00:51:45,375 --> 00:51:46,625 Harder than it looks, innit? 870 00:51:53,333 --> 00:51:54,666 So, what's this job, then? 871 00:51:55,416 --> 00:51:59,666 Oh. Jojo's missus is dead impressed. 872 00:51:59,750 --> 00:52:01,833 I ain't heard the end of her walk-in shower. 873 00:52:02,875 --> 00:52:03,916 Here it is. 874 00:52:04,333 --> 00:52:06,541 You have to use your finger otherwise it doesn't... 875 00:52:06,625 --> 00:52:08,833 - Yeah, I have got one. - That's one of the new ones. 876 00:52:13,833 --> 00:52:15,250 Need some water, man. 877 00:52:15,416 --> 00:52:18,000 Oh, yeah, I'll put some tonic in. 878 00:52:22,958 --> 00:52:24,666 - Tonic, man. - Oh, come on. 879 00:52:24,750 --> 00:52:28,125 Stop fannying about. This is what I'm on about. What do you reckon? 880 00:52:28,208 --> 00:52:30,500 - It's nice. - See? 881 00:52:31,166 --> 00:52:34,541 That's the terrace. South-facing, gets the sun all day. 882 00:52:34,666 --> 00:52:36,458 Right on the Med. Decent views. 883 00:52:36,541 --> 00:52:40,166 - All right, what do you want then? - Uh, whole thing, really. 884 00:52:40,250 --> 00:52:41,666 Do you do that? 885 00:52:41,750 --> 00:52:44,291 Well, I can, but, you know, I'm a plumber. 886 00:52:44,375 --> 00:52:46,250 I mean, you'd want to find someone local. 887 00:52:46,458 --> 00:52:48,583 - Where is it again? - Greece. 888 00:52:48,666 --> 00:52:51,875 Yeah, okay, Greece. Yeah, you find a... There's a find-a-builder thing in Greece, 889 00:52:51,958 --> 00:52:53,517 like, you got to look on forums. Go online. 890 00:52:53,541 --> 00:52:57,625 Yeah. I thought it might be nice to do some work in the sun, be nice for you. 891 00:52:57,958 --> 00:52:59,500 Nice? It'll be like an oven, mate. 892 00:52:59,583 --> 00:53:01,142 Well, you can use it while you're out there. 893 00:53:01,166 --> 00:53:04,833 Have some mates out. Think of the parties. I'd visit. 894 00:53:08,541 --> 00:53:12,166 - Could have emailed this. - Well, it ain't as friendly, though. 895 00:53:16,291 --> 00:53:17,458 What you laughing at? 896 00:53:18,416 --> 00:53:21,666 That room in Romania. Do you remember? 897 00:53:23,500 --> 00:53:24,625 What made you think of that? 898 00:53:25,791 --> 00:53:27,875 Last time I saw you, pretty much. 899 00:53:29,500 --> 00:53:30,916 That was a mad night, wasn't it? 900 00:53:32,333 --> 00:53:33,958 Was it? No. 901 00:53:35,416 --> 00:53:38,750 Don't be a dick. There's only 100 bottles of this. I got the last case. 902 00:53:38,833 --> 00:53:41,333 - No, honestly. - We had that game the next day. 903 00:53:41,625 --> 00:53:43,000 Uh, the one I scored in. 904 00:53:43,208 --> 00:53:44,333 Thanks for reminding me. 905 00:53:45,041 --> 00:53:46,666 God, a lot's changed since then. 906 00:53:47,500 --> 00:53:51,416 Married. Divorced. Two kids. 907 00:53:53,708 --> 00:53:55,583 Jojo mentioned you were seeing someone. 908 00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:58,833 Gary. 909 00:54:02,750 --> 00:54:05,000 So, what's he like? 910 00:54:05,833 --> 00:54:08,250 - He's all right. - All right? 911 00:54:08,666 --> 00:54:09,833 Yeah, he's good to me. 912 00:54:12,416 --> 00:54:13,625 Do you live together? 913 00:54:13,875 --> 00:54:16,250 No. I mean, well, we like our own space, you know? 914 00:54:16,333 --> 00:54:18,666 - Oh, yeah? - Oh, it's nothing funny. 915 00:54:18,750 --> 00:54:20,833 It's just, uh... just the way it is. 916 00:54:21,875 --> 00:54:24,375 Do your teammates know about him from down the Marshes? 917 00:54:24,625 --> 00:54:28,458 Yeah, they're cool with it. I mean, there's some banter, but nothing. 918 00:54:30,000 --> 00:54:33,125 Does he go down the pub after the game? Beers with the lads? 919 00:54:33,500 --> 00:54:34,625 Yeah, sometimes. 920 00:54:36,208 --> 00:54:40,500 Do you hold hands? In the pub, I mean. 921 00:54:42,583 --> 00:54:43,750 Depends what pub. 922 00:54:46,458 --> 00:54:47,458 Yeah. 923 00:54:51,708 --> 00:54:54,291 - Mind if I, uh... - Yeah, do us one while you're at it. 924 00:54:55,333 --> 00:54:58,625 - All right. What about you, man? - Hmm? 925 00:54:58,750 --> 00:55:00,500 - You seeing anyone? - Uh... 926 00:55:03,125 --> 00:55:05,208 It's hard to meet people. 927 00:55:05,708 --> 00:55:07,588 You've got about a million followers on Twitter! 928 00:55:10,125 --> 00:55:12,833 Real people, you know? 929 00:55:14,500 --> 00:55:17,416 - You been LA? - Mm-mm. 930 00:55:19,041 --> 00:55:22,250 They have these parties that are exclusively 931 00:55:22,333 --> 00:55:26,083 - for famous people and billionaires. - Serious? 932 00:55:26,166 --> 00:55:28,206 You have to check your phone in at the door. 933 00:55:29,583 --> 00:55:30,958 You been America? 934 00:55:32,041 --> 00:55:33,958 - Never got round to it. - Wha... 935 00:55:35,208 --> 00:55:36,416 Well, you should. 936 00:55:37,375 --> 00:55:38,750 It's got everything. 937 00:55:39,250 --> 00:55:42,500 Midwest, I adore the Midwest. 938 00:55:42,583 --> 00:55:45,458 You can drive for ten hours and not see a fucking soul. 939 00:55:45,541 --> 00:55:47,791 Where else does that happen, eh? 940 00:55:47,875 --> 00:55:51,916 There's nothing, just silence. 941 00:55:53,125 --> 00:55:54,791 Can hear your own heartbeat. 942 00:56:07,083 --> 00:56:10,833 About that night, uh... I just want to clear the air, 943 00:56:10,916 --> 00:56:13,375 'cause it's the kind of thing, if you don't talk about it, 944 00:56:13,458 --> 00:56:15,708 you put too much weight on it, you know? 945 00:56:15,791 --> 00:56:18,958 "Oh, this thing happened when we were kids." 946 00:56:19,041 --> 00:56:21,458 - Right. - Turn it into something it's not. 947 00:56:22,916 --> 00:56:25,083 I mean, when I got your text, I... 948 00:56:25,166 --> 00:56:27,958 Yeah, I mean, you could get all psychological on it, but... 949 00:56:28,375 --> 00:56:32,000 It was just shits and giggles, weren't it? 950 00:56:36,833 --> 00:56:37,833 Doughnut. 951 00:56:43,250 --> 00:56:44,250 Uh. 952 00:56:44,541 --> 00:56:46,059 It's getting late, man, I should, uh... 953 00:56:46,083 --> 00:56:49,250 Uh, no, you... You just got here. 954 00:56:49,333 --> 00:56:51,000 Yeah. I got work tomorrow. 955 00:56:51,083 --> 00:56:54,083 Nah. No, no, no. We should do something. What's up with you? 956 00:56:54,166 --> 00:56:56,500 - Like what? - Well, mark the occasion. 957 00:56:56,583 --> 00:56:58,263 - What, it's been eight, nine years? - Ten. 958 00:56:58,291 --> 00:57:00,142 Yeah, when was the last time you had a proper blowout 959 00:57:00,166 --> 00:57:01,875 like the old days? Come on! No. 960 00:57:01,958 --> 00:57:05,875 Tomorrow's another day. Tonight's me and you, mate. Go on! 961 00:57:06,791 --> 00:57:08,583 Let yourself off the leash. 962 00:57:13,750 --> 00:57:16,833 You're staying. You know you are. 963 00:57:16,916 --> 00:57:18,958 - You know you are. - All right. 964 00:57:19,041 --> 00:57:20,750 What you got in mind? 965 00:57:26,250 --> 00:57:27,958 Eh? 966 00:57:28,041 --> 00:57:31,125 Watch yourself. No, watch yourself, watch yourself. 967 00:57:34,250 --> 00:57:35,850 Shall we throw the telly out the window? 968 00:57:36,708 --> 00:57:38,500 Go on, then. 969 00:57:38,958 --> 00:57:40,838 Right, you get that end, I'll get the other end. 970 00:57:45,416 --> 00:57:48,041 Yep. One, two, three. 971 00:57:48,666 --> 00:57:51,458 Oh, mate. We're going to need a screwdriver. 972 00:57:51,541 --> 00:57:53,221 I'll ring down and get 'em to bring one up. 973 00:57:53,541 --> 00:57:55,250 What, "Can I borrow a screwdriver?" 974 00:57:55,875 --> 00:57:57,795 I ain't going to tell 'em why. Am I? 975 00:57:57,875 --> 00:57:59,833 - What? - No, imagine if you did. 976 00:57:59,916 --> 00:58:01,583 - What, tell 'em? Shall I? - Yeah. 977 00:58:01,666 --> 00:58:02,809 - Yeah. Yeah. - Shall I do it? 978 00:58:02,833 --> 00:58:06,416 Shall I do it? I'm going to do it. I would like a screwdriver. 979 00:58:07,208 --> 00:58:09,250 Oh, no, uh, the tool. 980 00:58:09,541 --> 00:58:11,458 Yeah, I need to get the telly off the wall. 981 00:58:11,541 --> 00:58:13,625 Sweet. 982 00:58:17,958 --> 00:58:20,333 Ah! 983 00:58:21,041 --> 00:58:24,166 Good to see you, mate. Life has not been the same without you! 984 00:58:24,250 --> 00:58:26,416 Here we go, here we go. 985 00:58:26,916 --> 00:58:28,000 Come on! 986 00:58:31,916 --> 00:58:34,333 All right, mate, all right, all right, chill! 987 00:58:37,416 --> 00:58:38,416 Jesus! 988 00:58:40,750 --> 00:58:43,583 You know what? It's a shame you didn't do your badges. 989 00:58:43,666 --> 00:58:44,976 You could've gone into management. 990 00:58:45,000 --> 00:58:47,708 You'd have been good at that. 991 00:58:47,875 --> 00:58:50,875 Yeah, well, apparently people don't like to take orders from a black man. 992 00:58:53,208 --> 00:58:55,250 I got a lot of respect for you, Ade. 993 00:58:56,875 --> 00:59:00,125 - Respect? - Working man like yourself. 994 00:59:01,583 --> 00:59:03,041 What's that got to do with anything? 995 00:59:04,583 --> 00:59:08,000 No, I'm just saying, you are a grafter. 996 00:59:08,583 --> 00:59:09,666 A grafter? 997 00:59:11,250 --> 00:59:14,500 - Why are you being all... - What does it mean? You respect me. 998 00:59:15,708 --> 00:59:18,083 - It means I respect you. - Yeah, but why keep saying it? 999 00:59:18,166 --> 00:59:21,125 - You said it twice now. - 'Cause you're making me repeat myself. 1000 00:59:21,208 --> 00:59:23,708 All this, "Be nice for you to work in the sun." 1001 00:59:23,791 --> 00:59:24,951 - What does that mean? - Uh... 1002 00:59:26,375 --> 00:59:29,041 - Ade, we were having a laugh. - No, no, what's it all about? 1003 00:59:29,125 --> 00:59:31,166 Ade! 1004 00:59:31,541 --> 00:59:32,625 I ain't making this up. 1005 00:59:32,708 --> 00:59:34,601 Ade, why you so sad? 1006 00:59:34,625 --> 00:59:36,559 Don't do that fucking voice, yeah? I don't like it. 1007 00:59:36,583 --> 00:59:38,666 Are you pulling that card on me? 1008 00:59:38,750 --> 00:59:40,916 Just don't. I don't like it. We ain't kids no more. 1009 00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:41,916 Oh! 1010 00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,375 Talk about a sense of humour breakdown. 1011 00:59:44,458 --> 00:59:45,791 Don't fucking get me started. 1012 00:59:45,875 --> 00:59:48,000 Jesus, Ade, what is it you can't handle here? Huh? 1013 00:59:48,083 --> 00:59:50,208 The booze, the pills, or the failure? Which one is it? 1014 00:59:50,333 --> 00:59:52,333 No, no! I'm just curious. Come on. 1015 00:59:53,208 --> 00:59:56,541 God, I'm sorry things didn't pan out, but it ain't my fault. 1016 00:59:56,958 --> 00:59:58,158 That's what you think this is. 1017 00:59:58,291 --> 00:59:59,583 Oh, what, what? 1018 00:59:59,666 --> 01:00:03,166 You'd rather be fixing toilets than doing what I do? 1019 01:00:03,291 --> 01:00:06,083 What, cooped up here like a nutter going for midnight swims? 1020 01:00:06,166 --> 01:00:09,541 - Yes, I would. - Bullshit. You're jealous. 1021 01:00:09,625 --> 01:00:12,541 Jase, no one gets to do the thing they dreamt about when they was a kid. 1022 01:00:12,625 --> 01:00:17,500 - That's life, mate. - Except I do, Ade. I do. 1023 01:00:17,583 --> 01:00:19,184 Of course I'd rather be playing professional. 1024 01:00:19,208 --> 01:00:20,500 - Of course I... - Thank you! 1025 01:00:20,583 --> 01:00:22,383 You're acting like you made some killer point. 1026 01:00:22,458 --> 01:00:24,833 - I'm a grown man. I moved on. - Mm-hmm... 1027 01:00:24,916 --> 01:00:26,583 so, why are you here, then? 1028 01:00:26,958 --> 01:00:28,500 - 'Cause you asked me here. - Oh! 1029 01:00:28,583 --> 01:00:30,333 Things must be going really well for you. 1030 01:00:30,416 --> 01:00:33,208 Drop everything, drive 200 miles like that. 1031 01:00:34,666 --> 01:00:35,866 Where does Gary think you are? 1032 01:00:37,208 --> 01:00:38,250 Away on business? 1033 01:00:38,416 --> 01:00:40,096 I am on business. You asked me for a quote. 1034 01:00:40,166 --> 01:00:43,041 You just wanted a taste, didn't you, hmm? 1035 01:00:43,125 --> 01:00:45,916 See how the other half lives, recapture the old glory. 1036 01:00:46,000 --> 01:00:47,958 Feel a part of something, is that it? 1037 01:00:48,208 --> 01:00:49,583 - Think what you want. - Oh... 1038 01:00:49,666 --> 01:00:52,833 Do you tell your teammates you played with me, hmm? 1039 01:00:53,000 --> 01:00:55,000 You do, don't you? 1040 01:00:55,083 --> 01:00:56,333 I bet they love it. 1041 01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:59,791 I bet they buy you drinks. I bet you tell 'em all the stories, 1042 01:00:59,875 --> 01:01:02,875 how you used to be someone, how you were this close, 1043 01:01:02,958 --> 01:01:05,416 but it never happened because you didn't get the luck. 1044 01:01:05,500 --> 01:01:08,250 - That's right, I didn't get the luck. - You reckon? 1045 01:01:08,375 --> 01:01:09,809 I was the better player and you know it. 1046 01:01:09,833 --> 01:01:11,226 That's right, Ade. You were the better player. 1047 01:01:11,250 --> 01:01:13,458 - Thank you. - Still, you managed to fuck it up. 1048 01:01:13,791 --> 01:01:16,583 But that's you all over. Not enough bottle, not enough heart. 1049 01:01:16,666 --> 01:01:18,458 I didn't bottle it. I never had the chance. 1050 01:01:18,541 --> 01:01:21,059 - You had your chance. You didn't take it. - You never passed me the ball. 1051 01:01:21,083 --> 01:01:23,267 - Well, I didn't need to Ade. I scored. - I was in the better position. 1052 01:01:23,291 --> 01:01:24,976 No, the better position's the one you score from. 1053 01:01:25,000 --> 01:01:26,333 That was the position I was in. 1054 01:01:26,416 --> 01:01:28,767 - You said you'd pass me the ball. - Well, it's not the playground. 1055 01:01:28,791 --> 01:01:30,392 It don't work like that in the big boys' game. 1056 01:01:30,416 --> 01:01:33,250 No, that was my only chance. I was subbed off after that. 1057 01:01:33,333 --> 01:01:36,458 No, you were subbed off because two minutes later, 1058 01:01:36,541 --> 01:01:38,916 you gave the ball away in our half and they scored. 1059 01:01:39,000 --> 01:01:40,208 I was taking the man on. 1060 01:01:40,666 --> 01:01:42,791 Nine times out of ten, I'd have skinned him. 1061 01:01:43,375 --> 01:01:44,666 I did it every time in training. 1062 01:01:44,750 --> 01:01:46,625 We're all George Best in the back garden. 1063 01:01:51,250 --> 01:01:52,333 All right. 1064 01:01:53,541 --> 01:01:54,750 I made a bad choice. 1065 01:01:56,333 --> 01:01:57,875 My mind wasn't in the right place. 1066 01:02:00,083 --> 01:02:01,916 Why wasn't your mind in the right place? 1067 01:02:02,416 --> 01:02:03,416 You know why. 1068 01:02:05,916 --> 01:02:09,250 But we discussed this. I thought it was nothing. 1069 01:02:12,125 --> 01:02:13,601 You keep telling yourself that all you want, 1070 01:02:13,625 --> 01:02:15,305 but we both know what went on in that room. 1071 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:20,250 What? A hand-job? 1072 01:02:21,958 --> 01:02:24,708 The hand-job I gave you when we were kids? 1073 01:02:26,166 --> 01:02:28,583 You're harping on about a wank you had ten years ago? 1074 01:02:28,666 --> 01:02:32,500 Ade, I'm sorry if you got confused. 1075 01:02:32,583 --> 01:02:34,375 Confused? You're the one who got confused. 1076 01:02:37,166 --> 01:02:38,916 All right. 1077 01:02:40,166 --> 01:02:42,125 Okay, I tell you why I did what I did. 1078 01:02:42,208 --> 01:02:43,875 I did it to get in your head, 1079 01:02:44,166 --> 01:02:47,166 throw you off balance, make sure you weren't right for the game. 1080 01:02:47,250 --> 01:02:49,458 - Bullshit. - I didn't have your pace 1081 01:02:49,750 --> 01:02:54,458 or your first touch, but what I did have... was this. 1082 01:02:55,541 --> 01:02:56,750 I've always had it. 1083 01:02:57,333 --> 01:03:01,416 It's an instinct to know what needs to be done and then do it. 1084 01:03:02,000 --> 01:03:04,041 That... is all. 1085 01:03:06,916 --> 01:03:08,666 It wasn't the hand-job I got confused about. 1086 01:03:08,833 --> 01:03:10,208 Jesus fucking... 1087 01:03:11,041 --> 01:03:12,708 What was it, then? 1088 01:03:15,875 --> 01:03:17,435 It was the way you held me all night... 1089 01:03:19,166 --> 01:03:20,291 Kissed me... 1090 01:03:21,916 --> 01:03:23,291 Told me you loved me. 1091 01:03:25,666 --> 01:03:28,458 Next morning, I got on the coach. I waited for you. 1092 01:03:30,041 --> 01:03:32,250 When you stepped on, I looked up and I smiled at you. 1093 01:03:32,916 --> 01:03:35,000 You just walked by. You didn't even look. 1094 01:03:37,166 --> 01:03:39,517 Afterwards, I tried talking to you, but you were with the other lads 1095 01:03:39,541 --> 01:03:40,941 being a big man, 'cause you scored. 1096 01:03:42,583 --> 01:03:45,375 Next week, squad list goes up, my name's not there, yours is. 1097 01:03:46,625 --> 01:03:48,000 They don't renew my contract. 1098 01:03:49,583 --> 01:03:52,625 Jase, I texted you, I left voicemails. Nothing. 1099 01:03:54,083 --> 01:03:55,166 How could you do that? 1100 01:03:56,291 --> 01:03:58,083 After everything that passed between us. 1101 01:04:04,875 --> 01:04:10,041 I can't remember every detail, to be completely honest, Ade. 1102 01:04:10,125 --> 01:04:12,333 - Is that right? - A lot has changed since then. 1103 01:04:12,458 --> 01:04:16,375 I have had other things to worry about the last ten years. 1104 01:04:16,458 --> 01:04:18,375 Then why did you invite me here, Jase? 1105 01:04:18,916 --> 01:04:20,791 If you've got so many other things going on? 1106 01:04:21,666 --> 01:04:23,250 Just to see if you'd come back. 1107 01:04:25,750 --> 01:04:26,750 Back where? 1108 01:04:28,416 --> 01:04:30,833 To this room. 1109 01:04:33,125 --> 01:04:36,041 - I never been here before. - What you talking about? 1110 01:04:36,541 --> 01:04:39,125 - You just said "come back". - So? 1111 01:04:39,541 --> 01:04:42,708 - This is the first time I've been here. - I know. 1112 01:04:43,458 --> 01:04:45,658 So what do you mean, you wanted to see if I'd come back? 1113 01:04:46,375 --> 01:04:48,541 - Just to see if you'd come back... - Back to what? 1114 01:04:48,625 --> 01:04:49,666 To me! 1115 01:04:59,208 --> 01:05:01,208 Jase... Jase? 1116 01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:04,400 Jase, you can't just leave it there. What'd you mean by that? 1117 01:05:07,250 --> 01:05:08,333 Hey. 1118 01:05:10,958 --> 01:05:13,333 This young man's brought our screwdriver. 1119 01:05:18,375 --> 01:05:20,666 So, what do you want with this? 1120 01:05:22,958 --> 01:05:25,291 We thought we might chuck the telly out the window. 1121 01:05:25,458 --> 01:05:29,166 It's proper bolted on, mate. Seriously. You got no chance. 1122 01:05:29,666 --> 01:05:31,833 - You won't tell anyone, will you? - What's it worth? 1123 01:05:31,916 --> 01:05:32,916 Jason... 1124 01:05:35,041 --> 01:05:36,517 We're in the middle of something here. 1125 01:05:36,541 --> 01:05:38,583 - Yeah, I'd say. What's your name? - Harry. 1126 01:05:38,666 --> 01:05:41,500 I'd say Harry was in the middle of something, wouldn't you? 1127 01:05:42,333 --> 01:05:44,750 It's a pleasure to meet you, Harry. 1128 01:05:44,833 --> 01:05:47,625 Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Jason. 1129 01:05:48,333 --> 01:05:49,333 This is Ade. 1130 01:05:50,416 --> 01:05:52,041 Say hello to Ade, Harry. 1131 01:05:53,000 --> 01:05:54,250 You all right, Ade? Hello. 1132 01:05:55,708 --> 01:05:56,916 Ade's shy. 1133 01:05:57,583 --> 01:05:58,625 Oi. 1134 01:05:59,375 --> 01:06:01,875 - Oh! - Jase, he's at work. 1135 01:06:01,958 --> 01:06:04,083 It's all right. I clocked off ten minutes ago. 1136 01:06:04,333 --> 01:06:08,041 Ah! Just take four, see how you get on. 1137 01:06:08,125 --> 01:06:10,892 I'll have double, I reckon. By the looks of things, I'm playing catch-up. 1138 01:06:10,916 --> 01:06:13,416 Ooh! Good man! 1139 01:06:18,583 --> 01:06:22,083 So, hang on, if you've clocked off, 1140 01:06:22,958 --> 01:06:24,166 how come you're still here? 1141 01:06:24,583 --> 01:06:27,958 - I'm always looking for the party, me. - Oh! Do you hear that, Ade? 1142 01:06:28,250 --> 01:06:29,791 Harry loves to party. 1143 01:06:30,333 --> 01:06:32,041 Jase, we're talking about something here. 1144 01:06:32,250 --> 01:06:35,125 Ade, we're having a laugh. 1145 01:06:37,041 --> 01:06:39,333 Here, will you take a piccie for us? 1146 01:06:40,333 --> 01:06:41,933 Oh, you won't put that online, will you? 1147 01:06:41,958 --> 01:06:44,250 Of course not. 1148 01:06:45,750 --> 01:06:48,708 Come on, Ade, don't be a spoilsport. 1149 01:06:48,875 --> 01:06:51,416 Oh... Cor... 1150 01:06:51,500 --> 01:06:53,000 It's all right. I'll do a selfie. 1151 01:06:53,083 --> 01:06:55,125 Fucking hell. 1152 01:06:56,583 --> 01:06:57,875 Ooh. 1153 01:06:57,958 --> 01:06:59,041 Yeah, one more. 1154 01:07:04,208 --> 01:07:05,291 What you laughing at? 1155 01:07:05,666 --> 01:07:10,333 When I was younger, that video of you and that lap dancer was a bit of a staple. 1156 01:07:11,250 --> 01:07:13,791 I put it on once when I was shagging my girlfriend. 1157 01:07:13,916 --> 01:07:17,750 I took a selfie of me and her watching you. 1158 01:07:17,958 --> 01:07:19,666 Sent it to all my mates. 1159 01:07:20,083 --> 01:07:21,583 We broke up soon after that. 1160 01:07:21,750 --> 01:07:23,916 I hate girls who haven't got a sense of humour. 1161 01:07:24,000 --> 01:07:27,250 Oh! It's important. 1162 01:07:27,333 --> 01:07:28,750 - Yeah! - Mm. 1163 01:07:30,791 --> 01:07:31,833 Is that real? 1164 01:07:32,375 --> 01:07:34,875 Mm-hmm. You want it? 1165 01:07:36,416 --> 01:07:37,416 Really? 1166 01:07:38,250 --> 01:07:39,291 Mmm. 1167 01:07:40,458 --> 01:07:41,875 Oh! 1168 01:07:45,916 --> 01:07:49,416 Am I the most famous person you've ever met? 1169 01:07:52,750 --> 01:07:54,250 Er, yeah? 1170 01:07:54,333 --> 01:07:56,125 Fuck. 1171 01:07:56,583 --> 01:08:00,041 Though I once met Jimmy Savile. 1172 01:08:00,333 --> 01:08:01,791 He'd come to my school. 1173 01:08:02,250 --> 01:08:04,010 They wouldn't invite him now, I don't reckon. 1174 01:08:04,958 --> 01:08:07,416 - He's dead. - Yeah, and that. 1175 01:08:09,791 --> 01:08:12,000 He's funny, isn't he? 1176 01:08:15,166 --> 01:08:17,416 You... You're funny. 1177 01:08:17,500 --> 01:08:19,000 - Am I? - Yeah. 1178 01:08:19,416 --> 01:08:21,041 Yeah, I am actually. 1179 01:08:22,250 --> 01:08:24,291 What do you think we should do with Harry, Ade? 1180 01:08:24,708 --> 01:08:26,833 Well, I'm up for anything, really. 1181 01:08:26,916 --> 01:08:29,041 I mean, my mates say I've got no boundaries. 1182 01:08:29,125 --> 01:08:31,541 I'm one of those people that can just drink and drink. 1183 01:08:31,625 --> 01:08:34,125 I don't get drunk. I don't even get hangovers. 1184 01:08:34,208 --> 01:08:37,458 All right, you've had your fun. It's time Harry left, Jase. 1185 01:08:37,833 --> 01:08:40,458 - Either he's off or I'm out. - What do you think, Harry? 1186 01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:43,166 It's your room, innit? 1187 01:08:43,250 --> 01:08:46,041 - I'm not messing around. - I don't care either way. 1188 01:08:46,125 --> 01:08:47,666 Just make a decision. 1189 01:08:50,958 --> 01:08:55,166 Oh. Well, it wouldn't be the first time you lost your nerve. 1190 01:08:56,708 --> 01:08:57,708 What was that? 1191 01:08:58,875 --> 01:09:01,875 Hmm? Don't think I don't know what you're doing. 1192 01:09:03,083 --> 01:09:04,166 What am I doing? 1193 01:09:04,708 --> 01:09:07,791 Ade, what am I doing, hmm? 1194 01:09:07,875 --> 01:09:09,515 What am I doing? What the fuck am I doing? 1195 01:09:09,583 --> 01:09:11,541 I don't know what I'm doing. What am I doing? 1196 01:09:11,625 --> 01:09:12,958 Huh? What am I doing, huh? 1197 01:09:13,041 --> 01:09:15,458 Aha! What am I doing, Harry? 1198 01:09:15,541 --> 01:09:18,583 I don't know! What am I doing? 1199 01:09:18,666 --> 01:09:20,017 What, you think this is too much for me? 1200 01:09:20,041 --> 01:09:23,333 - Oh, what am I doing? What am I doing? - You think I'm afraid of this? 1201 01:09:23,416 --> 01:09:25,500 What am I doing, mate? What the fuck am I doing? 1202 01:09:25,583 --> 01:09:27,416 - Ade! Ade! - Shut the fuck up! 1203 01:09:34,875 --> 01:09:36,833 All right. 1204 01:09:38,583 --> 01:09:39,750 Let's do this. 1205 01:09:45,166 --> 01:09:46,416 Why don't we... 1206 01:09:48,041 --> 01:09:49,125 play a game? 1207 01:09:49,208 --> 01:09:50,309 What's the game? 1208 01:09:50,333 --> 01:09:54,125 Ooh. All in good time, Harry. 1209 01:09:54,208 --> 01:09:55,750 All in good time. 1210 01:09:56,750 --> 01:09:58,041 This is bonkers. 1211 01:09:58,166 --> 01:10:01,000 Reminds me of this stag do I went on in Krakow, right? 1212 01:10:01,083 --> 01:10:04,083 White water rafting in the morning, Auschwitz in the afternoon, 1213 01:10:04,166 --> 01:10:07,625 back to the hotel for a shower, quick bite to eat, then on to a sex club. 1214 01:10:07,708 --> 01:10:11,666 - Here. - Mmm, mmm. Cheers. 1215 01:10:11,750 --> 01:10:15,666 And the best man, he got this prossie. Now, she sits the groom down on a chair 1216 01:10:15,750 --> 01:10:18,291 and does this full on strip show down to her knickers, 1217 01:10:18,375 --> 01:10:21,125 whipped cream on her tits and that and then, I'm not lying... 1218 01:10:21,541 --> 01:10:25,750 She unzips him, sprays some of the cream on his cock 1219 01:10:25,833 --> 01:10:28,750 and starts noshing him off like she's not had a hot dinner in weeks. 1220 01:10:28,875 --> 01:10:30,875 His dad's there, his uncle, 1221 01:10:30,958 --> 01:10:33,833 father of the bride, and we're all, like, 1222 01:10:33,958 --> 01:10:35,666 shouting things. This is the best bit. 1223 01:10:35,750 --> 01:10:39,583 Just as the groom's about to pop, and you can tell he's getting close, 1224 01:10:39,666 --> 01:10:41,476 'cause his eyes are going like he's having an epic. 1225 01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:42,416 Oh, yeah. 1226 01:10:42,500 --> 01:10:45,666 This prossie shoves her hands into her pants, reaches back, 1227 01:10:45,750 --> 01:10:49,625 and flops out the biggest cock you've ever seen. 1228 01:10:49,708 --> 01:10:51,541 It's a fucking lady boy. 1229 01:10:51,625 --> 01:10:54,708 We were like, "Where the fuck you stashing that?" 1230 01:10:54,791 --> 01:10:57,041 'Cause she had this tiny little thong on. 1231 01:10:57,125 --> 01:11:00,416 Oh, and the fucking groom's face, though. 1232 01:11:00,500 --> 01:11:03,791 - Oh? Oh, yeah? - He cried, actually. It went a bit dark. 1233 01:11:04,125 --> 01:11:07,833 So what's the game, then? 1234 01:11:08,541 --> 01:11:09,875 Forfeit or dare. 1235 01:11:10,000 --> 01:11:11,851 - What's the forfeit? - You drink from the bucket. 1236 01:11:11,875 --> 01:11:14,392 I ask you to do something, you don't wanna do it, you have to drink. 1237 01:11:14,416 --> 01:11:15,500 All right, then. 1238 01:11:17,875 --> 01:11:18,958 Take off your shirt. 1239 01:11:26,500 --> 01:11:28,333 Oh. 1240 01:11:29,250 --> 01:11:30,541 And your trousers. 1241 01:11:34,625 --> 01:11:38,625 - Oh. Hey. Hold on to me. - Oh. Oh! 1242 01:11:40,416 --> 01:11:43,458 That was easy. 1243 01:11:43,541 --> 01:11:47,083 Mmm. Go on, Ade. 1244 01:11:47,666 --> 01:11:49,041 Do you see anything you fancy? 1245 01:11:50,833 --> 01:11:53,708 - Is it... Is it his turn now? - Yeah. 1246 01:11:58,250 --> 01:12:00,500 Let's have a go with this bucket, then. 1247 01:12:00,583 --> 01:12:01,583 Okay. 1248 01:12:03,833 --> 01:12:05,500 Oh. 1249 01:12:08,500 --> 01:12:10,291 Go on, one more. 1250 01:12:10,375 --> 01:12:11,375 Yeah? 1251 01:12:19,333 --> 01:12:20,458 Jase. 1252 01:12:28,166 --> 01:12:30,000 Fucking hell, you boys play hard. 1253 01:12:31,000 --> 01:12:33,041 - You all right, Harry? - Yeah. 1254 01:12:33,125 --> 01:12:36,666 For a moment there, I thought you'd lost the plot a bit. 1255 01:12:36,916 --> 01:12:39,916 Everything went dark and then there was this bright light and, 1256 01:12:40,000 --> 01:12:43,250 well, it was like what my Aunt Ida said happened when she had a heart attack 1257 01:12:43,333 --> 01:12:46,666 and woke up and saw Jesus stood next to fucking Elton John. 1258 01:12:49,458 --> 01:12:52,958 Right, I did it. I got a belter! This is for you. 1259 01:12:53,500 --> 01:12:57,583 I dare you to kiss him with tongues. 1260 01:12:57,875 --> 01:13:00,041 Boom! 1261 01:13:04,750 --> 01:13:05,875 Yeah. 1262 01:13:07,083 --> 01:13:08,333 Yeah, why not? 1263 01:13:11,541 --> 01:13:16,416 Now, don't do anything you're not comfortable with, Ade. 1264 01:13:23,333 --> 01:13:24,708 Look at you. 1265 01:13:26,125 --> 01:13:27,958 All serious. 1266 01:13:49,125 --> 01:13:50,500 I got a better idea. 1267 01:13:51,291 --> 01:13:52,291 What is it? 1268 01:13:52,916 --> 01:13:55,916 - Why don't you kiss Ade? - What? It's not my turn. 1269 01:13:56,000 --> 01:13:58,458 It doesn't matter. I think he likes you. 1270 01:13:58,916 --> 01:14:00,208 - Does he? - Yeah. 1271 01:14:00,458 --> 01:14:02,000 - Fucking hell. - Go on. 1272 01:14:02,875 --> 01:14:04,750 I never kissed a fella before. 1273 01:14:06,000 --> 01:14:09,375 Are you sure he wants to? He's got a right face on him. 1274 01:14:09,458 --> 01:14:11,000 I don't think Ade knows what he wants. 1275 01:14:12,208 --> 01:14:13,541 Or maybe he does. 1276 01:14:33,000 --> 01:14:34,750 - Now, get the fuck out. - What? 1277 01:14:35,000 --> 01:14:38,208 - I said get the fuck out! - Get the fuck off me, you homo. 1278 01:14:38,291 --> 01:14:40,375 - I'll go when he says to go. - He's right. 1279 01:14:41,791 --> 01:14:42,791 Fuck off. 1280 01:14:44,333 --> 01:14:45,375 Party's over. 1281 01:14:47,666 --> 01:14:49,791 You were fun for five minutes. I'm bored now. 1282 01:14:51,083 --> 01:14:53,541 You fucking pair of shit hounds. 1283 01:14:53,625 --> 01:14:55,541 What am I, the warm-up? 1284 01:14:56,125 --> 01:14:59,291 You know, no wonder you're a shit footballer these days. 1285 01:14:59,708 --> 01:15:03,000 Every time you get one-on-one with the goalkeeper, you can't work out 1286 01:15:03,083 --> 01:15:06,416 whether to put the ball in the net, or his dick in your mouth. 1287 01:15:08,291 --> 01:15:12,041 Yeah, laugh it up, you queer bastard! 1288 01:15:12,916 --> 01:15:17,750 It's about as funny as another man putting your kids to bed. 1289 01:15:19,375 --> 01:15:22,541 - Ow! Don't! Fucking weirdo! - Come here. 1290 01:15:23,125 --> 01:15:26,000 - Come here. Get up. Get up, get up. - No, no, no. 1291 01:15:26,083 --> 01:15:28,000 - No! - Get in! Get in! 1292 01:15:28,166 --> 01:15:30,708 Jase! 1293 01:15:30,958 --> 01:15:34,500 - Good boy, good boy. Good doggie. - Jase! 1294 01:15:35,458 --> 01:15:39,416 Ah! Fucking psycho faggot! 1295 01:15:40,000 --> 01:15:42,250 You think we don't know what goes on in here? 1296 01:15:42,458 --> 01:15:45,708 Lads up and down the stairs all hours. You think we don't know? 1297 01:15:45,791 --> 01:15:48,375 Oh, tell your friends, Harry, get some free drinks. 1298 01:15:48,458 --> 01:15:52,000 Yeah, this is going on Twitter, mate. See how you like that. 1299 01:15:52,083 --> 01:15:55,291 Harry, son, I got people for that. This goes on Twitter, 1300 01:15:55,375 --> 01:15:58,416 I'll own your house and your nan's house, 1301 01:15:59,833 --> 01:16:03,750 and your children's house, if you ever get that far in life. 1302 01:16:03,833 --> 01:16:07,375 Now, off you trot, son. There's grown-ups talking. 1303 01:16:28,750 --> 01:16:30,583 Do you reckon he was showing off? 1304 01:16:33,166 --> 01:16:34,458 I don't think you're well. 1305 01:16:35,166 --> 01:16:39,000 No? I'm tip-top, mate. I don't know what you're talking about. 1306 01:16:41,291 --> 01:16:42,541 What am I here for? 1307 01:16:43,708 --> 01:16:45,583 Truth be told, 1308 01:16:47,416 --> 01:16:49,541 I was thinking of retraining as a plumber. 1309 01:16:50,166 --> 01:16:51,916 Thought you could give me some tips. 1310 01:16:56,208 --> 01:16:58,500 That's good, Jase. That's very good. 1311 01:16:58,583 --> 01:16:59,583 The villa... 1312 01:17:03,833 --> 01:17:05,500 Phew. I want you to have it. 1313 01:17:11,583 --> 01:17:12,583 It's yours. 1314 01:17:15,416 --> 01:17:19,250 You could live there. I could visit. 1315 01:17:21,208 --> 01:17:23,048 - We could look at the view. - Are you serious? 1316 01:17:25,500 --> 01:17:26,791 My, um... 1317 01:17:30,208 --> 01:17:32,666 My knee's chalk. 1318 01:17:35,500 --> 01:17:38,291 Ever seen a mountain crumble, fall into the sea? 1319 01:17:39,500 --> 01:17:40,583 Could go any time. 1320 01:17:41,916 --> 01:17:43,750 Now that you need me, you want me to stay? 1321 01:17:52,250 --> 01:17:54,208 You're the last thing I remember... 1322 01:17:55,291 --> 01:17:58,375 of any... value. 1323 01:18:04,541 --> 01:18:06,458 When I got your text, Jase, 1324 01:18:09,041 --> 01:18:10,458 I had some notion... 1325 01:18:21,750 --> 01:18:22,791 I can't. 1326 01:18:25,083 --> 01:18:26,208 I'm sorry. 1327 01:18:30,000 --> 01:18:31,083 I just can't. 1328 01:18:36,291 --> 01:18:38,541 Well, it was only a suggestion. 1329 01:18:38,875 --> 01:18:40,635 I don't know why you're making a thing of it. 1330 01:18:53,333 --> 01:18:55,013 Do you know what I feel when I look at you? 1331 01:18:55,708 --> 01:18:56,833 Is it pity? 1332 01:18:59,041 --> 01:19:00,559 You mean you got the moral high ground, 1333 01:19:00,583 --> 01:19:03,500 because you fix people's toilets for a living? 1334 01:19:06,375 --> 01:19:09,750 I scored at the San Siro. 1335 01:19:11,000 --> 01:19:14,958 Eighty thousand people rose to their feet. 1336 01:19:16,208 --> 01:19:20,166 I inspire love, devotion. 1337 01:19:21,416 --> 01:19:22,625 What do you get, Ade? 1338 01:19:24,000 --> 01:19:25,000 Invoices? 1339 01:19:27,541 --> 01:19:29,083 I love someone and he loves me. 1340 01:19:29,250 --> 01:19:32,083 Oh, yeah. Yeah. 1341 01:19:33,291 --> 01:19:36,250 The great love affair with Gary. 1342 01:19:37,333 --> 01:19:39,250 Don't tell me it doesn't eat away at you. 1343 01:19:39,625 --> 01:19:41,458 What if? What if? What if? 1344 01:19:43,541 --> 01:19:45,666 Look me in the eyes and tell me there aren't moments 1345 01:19:45,750 --> 01:19:50,291 when you wouldn't give everything to live the way I do. 1346 01:19:54,250 --> 01:19:55,416 Just what I thought. 1347 01:19:57,166 --> 01:19:59,666 You haven't the nerve to live like I do, Ade. 1348 01:20:00,625 --> 01:20:03,500 It would scare the shit out of you. 1349 01:20:06,875 --> 01:20:09,791 Do you want to know why I never returned your calls? 1350 01:20:12,750 --> 01:20:17,625 It's because I didn't want to be infected by your failure. 1351 01:20:18,583 --> 01:20:20,833 - Well, at least I live in the real world. - Oh! 1352 01:20:21,916 --> 01:20:25,125 I live in the same world you do, mate. 1353 01:20:27,083 --> 01:20:29,416 Just better parts of it. 1354 01:20:35,666 --> 01:20:37,541 You must be very happy, then. 1355 01:20:46,875 --> 01:20:47,875 Please. 1356 01:20:49,833 --> 01:20:51,208 Please, Ade... 1357 01:20:53,666 --> 01:20:55,208 I don't know what to do! 1358 01:20:58,666 --> 01:21:00,708 Did you really do it to get into my head, Jase? 1359 01:21:08,666 --> 01:21:09,958 I don't know. 1360 01:21:42,541 --> 01:21:44,208 Fuck. 101035