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1
00:00:02,263 --> 00:00:04,743
Yeah, look how handsome I look.
2
00:00:04,787 --> 00:00:06,049
That is a woman's coat.
3
00:00:06,093 --> 00:00:08,225
This coat has clean lines...
4
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:10,184
and pockets that don't quit.
5
00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:11,968
And it has room
for your hips.
6
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:14,057
And when I wear it,
I feel hot to trot.
7
00:00:14,101 --> 00:00:15,493
You're wearing a dress.Yeah, don't say
"hot to trot."
8
00:00:15,537 --> 00:00:17,756
My coat makes me say
things like that.
9
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:19,193
First of all, Nick,
it is not your coat.
10
00:00:19,236 --> 00:00:21,195
True, it was delivered
to the wrong address.
11
00:00:21,238 --> 00:00:24,241
But then tell me, why does
it fit like a damn glove?
12
00:00:24,285 --> 00:00:25,329
What is happening to you, man?
13
00:00:25,373 --> 00:00:26,765
I don't know if I can give up
14
00:00:26,809 --> 00:00:29,072
looking this damn good--
[rhythmic grunting]
15
00:00:29,116 --> 00:00:31,248
It's someone else's
woman's coat.
16
00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,119
[laughs]SCHMIDT:
Nothing?
17
00:00:32,162 --> 00:00:34,469
I mean, nothing?
Damn it!
18
00:00:34,512 --> 00:00:35,774
I've been trying
to get something going
19
00:00:35,818 --> 00:00:37,776
with myself for a full hour.
20
00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:39,996
It's like a taffy pull
on a hot summer's day.
21
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:43,086
Eww! You have
the door open, Schmidt.
22
00:00:43,130 --> 00:00:45,306
I'm over myself-- I just
don't do it for me anymore.
23
00:00:45,349 --> 00:00:47,264
I even bought myself
a sexy pair of underpants
24
00:00:47,308 --> 00:00:48,961
to spice things up--
didn't happen.
25
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:50,267
I just laid there.
26
00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:51,312
You know what? That's it.
27
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,270
Tonight, I start
having sex again.
28
00:00:53,314 --> 00:00:55,533
Now, are you two gonna join me?
29
00:00:55,577 --> 00:00:57,709
Not while I'm here, please.Is that the way you
wanted to say that?
30
00:00:57,753 --> 00:00:59,320
I'm in, Schmidty!
I am in!
31
00:00:59,363 --> 00:01:00,234
I'm gonna have sex tonight.
32
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:01,670
Yeah![laughing]
33
00:01:01,713 --> 00:01:03,976
SCHMIDT:
Yeah!
34
00:01:04,020 --> 00:01:05,282
♪ Who's that girl?
35
00:01:05,326 --> 00:01:06,457
♪ Who's that girl?♪
36
00:01:06,501 --> 00:01:08,546
♪ It's Jess.
37
00:01:10,940 --> 00:01:12,289
[whistles]
38
00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:15,118
I like this feeling, you guys.
I'm liking the vibe
39
00:01:15,162 --> 00:01:16,772
that we got going here.
There's definitely gonna
40
00:01:16,815 --> 00:01:18,339
be some sex-having tonight.
41
00:01:18,382 --> 00:01:20,036
Oh, yeah...Damn it, there needs to be.
42
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,385
You know I haven't had
sex since Labor Day?
43
00:01:21,429 --> 00:01:24,301
I know what the problem is--
I want it too bad.
44
00:01:24,345 --> 00:01:25,085
So, what's your name?
45
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:31,569
Winst... W-W-W... yeah.
46
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:33,223
You just need
a confidence boost.
47
00:01:33,267 --> 00:01:34,572
Good news-- I'm lousy
with the stuff
48
00:01:34,616 --> 00:01:36,357
I got your back tonight.
49
00:01:36,400 --> 00:01:38,359
And you, London Fog,
to trot, baby. hot
50
00:01:38,402 --> 00:01:39,621
Any chance you're gonna
take that coat off?This jacket? No way.
51
00:01:39,664 --> 00:01:41,231
I'm keeping the jacket on.Take the jacket off.
52
00:01:41,275 --> 00:01:42,450
No, I'm keeping the jacket on.No, it's fine.
53
00:01:42,493 --> 00:01:44,974
Band of brothers.Band of brothers, yeah!
54
00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,846
The club's up...Dance, dummy.
55
00:01:47,890 --> 00:01:49,500
Hey, guys.
Guess what?
56
00:01:49,544 --> 00:01:50,936
Sam has the late shift and
Cece's on a date
57
00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,373
with some Indian guy,
58
00:01:52,416 --> 00:01:55,376
so world's best wing-woman
reporting for duty.
59
00:01:55,419 --> 00:01:56,638
Jess, you can't come.
60
00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:57,987
What?
Look,
61
00:01:58,030 --> 00:02:00,337
I actually want
to get girls tonight.
62
00:02:00,381 --> 00:02:01,164
You're my cooler.
63
00:02:01,208 --> 00:02:02,600
What?
64
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:04,341
All I do is help
you get laid, Nick.
65
00:02:04,385 --> 00:02:08,171
Maureen, did you have one
very special long-time love?
66
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,172
Yes.
67
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:10,434
You should be with him.
68
00:02:12,697 --> 00:02:14,003
I'm not your cooler.
69
00:02:14,046 --> 00:02:15,396
It's not you.
70
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:17,180
It's the way that you behave.
71
00:02:17,224 --> 00:02:18,355
And the things
that you say.
72
00:02:18,399 --> 00:02:20,357
And the look on your face.
73
00:02:20,401 --> 00:02:21,358
And...
74
00:02:21,402 --> 00:02:22,403
It isyou.
75
00:02:22,446 --> 00:02:24,187
It's just you--
you're the cooler.
76
00:02:24,231 --> 00:02:26,450
I'm sorry, but you can't
come with us tonight.
77
00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:28,104
I get it. Um...
78
00:02:28,148 --> 00:02:30,324
I just... I have, um,
a lot of things I have to do.
79
00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:32,195
More important stuff to do here.
80
00:02:32,239 --> 00:02:34,197
I have to clean out
my closet and...
81
00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,981
Oh, yeah.I have an ice cream maker
to try out.
82
00:02:36,025 --> 00:02:38,201
That's better than going
to a stupid club.
83
00:02:38,245 --> 00:02:39,246
It's gonna be awesome.
It's gonna be great.Shut up.
84
00:02:44,468 --> 00:02:46,818
Get out of here, girl,
you're missing nothing.
85
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:50,213
It's gonna get so crazy.Come on, buddy,
get in there.
86
00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:52,346
Get crunk with us, bro.
87
00:02:52,389 --> 00:02:53,738
Yeah-ha-ha!Yeah!
88
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:56,219
I can't believe you got us
89
00:02:56,263 --> 00:02:57,438
kicked out of
the discotheque, Nick.
90
00:02:57,481 --> 00:02:58,874
I didn't even do anything.Damn it, Nick,
91
00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,484
take the coat off, all right?
It freaks girls out.
92
00:03:00,528 --> 00:03:01,442
Well, maybe they're freaked out
'cause you're
93
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,226
not wearing a trench coat.
94
00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:04,227
Yeah? Have you ever
thought of that?Okay, guys, please--
95
00:03:04,271 --> 00:03:05,272
no more friendly fire.
96
00:03:05,315 --> 00:03:06,273
All right.
Okay.
97
00:03:06,316 --> 00:03:07,883
Ooh, Schmidty type.
98
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:09,363
That's a Schmidty type
right there.
99
00:03:09,406 --> 00:03:11,626
[all three talking at once]
100
00:03:11,669 --> 00:03:13,715
That's me.
Yeah, yeah.Schmidty time...
101
00:03:13,758 --> 00:03:16,239
I feel good.Yeah.
Schmidty time.
102
00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:18,372
Schmidt! Hey, dude!What?!
103
00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:19,460
What about band of brothers?
104
00:03:19,503 --> 00:03:20,374
means nothing to me.
Your friendship
105
00:03:20,417 --> 00:03:21,375
Every man for himself.
106
00:03:21,418 --> 00:03:23,115
Hey, uh...
Hey.
107
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:25,466
I was, uh...
108
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:28,077
[laughs]
109
00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:30,122
[clicks tongue]
110
00:03:30,166 --> 00:03:32,168
Most... M-M...
111
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:34,344
Okay...Yeah, can you...
[clears throat]
112
00:03:34,388 --> 00:03:35,737
In the beginning...Tap out, man.
Tap out.
113
00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,956
What happened to building
my confidence, Schmidty?
114
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,175
You went in too soon.
Get out of here.
115
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:40,176
Go.
Go.
116
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,483
Hey.What's happening?
117
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:43,266
Hi.
118
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,705
[sighs]
119
00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:49,011
Wow, that was
embarrassing.
120
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,494
[quietly]:
Yeah...
121
00:03:53,537 --> 00:03:54,669
[clears throat]
Well...
122
00:03:54,712 --> 00:03:56,453
You can relax.
123
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,280
I'm taken.
124
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,458
You were very beautiful
from across the bar.
125
00:04:01,502 --> 00:04:03,286
I'm sorry. I'm Schmidt.
126
00:04:03,330 --> 00:04:06,202
I'm sorry... we were
talking, Schmidt.
127
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:08,465
What a ten, what
a beautiful woman.
128
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:09,510
He works here.
129
00:04:09,553 --> 00:04:10,467
As a bartender.
130
00:04:10,511 --> 00:04:12,991
Yeah, I do.[laughs]
131
00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:22,523
What do you think, Nick?
132
00:04:26,570 --> 00:04:28,398
I'm bored!
133
00:04:30,574 --> 00:04:33,360
No bottoms, no bottoms.
134
00:04:33,403 --> 00:04:36,319
Bottoms on top!
135
00:04:36,363 --> 00:04:39,235
[monotone]: Robot can't find
clothes to fit right.
136
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,368
Robot can't find clothes.
137
00:04:41,411 --> 00:04:44,719
♪
138
00:04:44,762 --> 00:04:48,462
[speaking in slow-motion]:
I do it for Kenya.
139
00:04:48,505 --> 00:04:49,506
[thud]
140
00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,464
[panting]
141
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:52,248
Silver?!
142
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:55,338
Damn you, Zimbabwe.
143
00:04:55,382 --> 00:04:56,731
[panting, tapping on door]
144
00:04:56,774 --> 00:04:58,428
JESS:
Hello?
145
00:04:58,472 --> 00:05:00,952
[scratching on door]
146
00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:05,348
Hello?
147
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,009
Nice coat you got there.
148
00:05:14,052 --> 00:05:15,053
Well, I just actually
wear it 'cause
149
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:16,054
it gives me confidence.
150
00:05:16,098 --> 00:05:17,229
That's kind of sad.
151
00:05:17,273 --> 00:05:18,056
You know what's really sad
152
00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,014
is that he stole the jacket.
153
00:05:19,057 --> 00:05:20,581
It's not technically stealing.
154
00:05:20,624 --> 00:05:22,278
He's still reeling
from being dumped.
155
00:05:22,322 --> 00:05:23,584
Aw.He's attached to it.
156
00:05:23,627 --> 00:05:24,976
Like a little bitch "bwanky."
157
00:05:25,020 --> 00:05:26,543
It's not like a blanky, dude.
158
00:05:26,587 --> 00:05:27,718
It looks like
a "bwanky."It's not like my "bwanky."
159
00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,372
The only reason
I'm out tonight is
160
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:30,765
to make sure he doesn't
do anything stupid.
161
00:05:30,808 --> 00:05:31,809
That's not true.
I'm not gonna...
162
00:05:31,853 --> 00:05:33,594
Shut up, Schmidt.
163
00:05:33,637 --> 00:05:34,769
I mean, I could
take care of you,
164
00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,597
if you wanted.You can what?
165
00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:39,034
I love sad guys and you
seem sadder than most.
166
00:05:39,077 --> 00:05:41,558
I think your plan sounds okay.
167
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:42,864
When you go home at night,
do you look in the mirror
168
00:05:42,907 --> 00:05:44,300
and just think,
"I am the worst"?
169
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:47,085
Actually yes, I do.Yeah?
170
00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,391
Yeah, a lot of the times.You hate yourself?
171
00:05:48,435 --> 00:05:49,784
I definitely don't like myself.
172
00:05:49,827 --> 00:05:51,394
It's right on the line of hate.
173
00:05:51,438 --> 00:05:54,092
What the hell is this?
174
00:05:54,136 --> 00:05:56,094
I don't know how
to talk to women.
175
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:58,314
Reason being, I feel like
176
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,621
you all think that I just
want one thing from you.
177
00:06:00,664 --> 00:06:02,274
Mm-hmm.I want the one thing.
178
00:06:02,318 --> 00:06:03,580
But a bunch of other th... can
a man just want all the things?
179
00:06:03,624 --> 00:06:04,538
I mean, damn.
180
00:06:04,581 --> 00:06:06,191
I like a challenge.
181
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:09,020
And you are one big challenge.
182
00:06:09,064 --> 00:06:10,108
I'm Daisy.
183
00:06:10,152 --> 00:06:11,414
Winston.
184
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,590
Sam, it's Jess.
185
00:06:13,634 --> 00:06:14,983
Please come get me.
186
00:06:15,026 --> 00:06:18,595
I'm probably fine,
but I also might be dead.
187
00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:20,205
Good-bye.
188
00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:21,598
It's Cece, leave a message.
[beep]
189
00:06:21,642 --> 00:06:23,121
Cece, it's Jess-- call me back,
190
00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,427
I'm alone in the loft.
191
00:06:24,471 --> 00:06:26,429
I think there's something out...[phone beeps]
192
00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,215
There's something sexy about
a man who just needs me
193
00:06:30,259 --> 00:06:32,130
to make him feel better.
194
00:06:32,174 --> 00:06:34,219
I honestly need you
to make me feel better.[cell phone rings]
195
00:06:34,263 --> 00:06:35,482
Nicholas, your phone's ringing.Not now, Schmidt!
196
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,440
Hey, Jess. It's Jess.Schmidt, stop.
197
00:06:37,484 --> 00:06:39,355
You should really
talk to her.Unbelievable. I am so sad.
198
00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,574
a phone call.
Nicholas, you have
199
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,358
Don't do this,
Schmidt, please don't.
200
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:44,447
You are the dumbest...
201
00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:45,666
Would you wait one second?
202
00:06:45,709 --> 00:06:47,363
I'm just...
I just have to do this.
203
00:06:47,407 --> 00:06:50,018
I'll be sad in a second.Yep.
204
00:06:50,061 --> 00:06:52,673
Hi.Hi.
205
00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:54,370
I'm sad.Okay.
206
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,893
Uh, what is going on?
207
00:06:55,937 --> 00:06:58,461
There's something at the door
and you have to come home.
208
00:06:58,505 --> 00:06:59,854
Cooler, Jess-- you are being
a cooler right now.
209
00:06:59,897 --> 00:07:02,334
Seriously, I think
it might be gang related.
210
00:07:02,378 --> 00:07:03,379
I've always been worried
211
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,815
about my blue curtains...
212
00:07:04,859 --> 00:07:06,687
[whispers]:
Crips.
213
00:07:06,730 --> 00:07:08,689
The Cri... Jess, I'm done!JESS: Nick,
214
00:07:08,732 --> 00:07:09,733
I need you.
215
00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:13,650
Yeah, so this is the place.
216
00:07:13,694 --> 00:07:14,695
I'm really glad
you're here.
217
00:07:14,738 --> 00:07:16,131
The bedrooms are
that way...
218
00:07:16,174 --> 00:07:16,697
[shrieking]
219
00:07:16,740 --> 00:07:18,481
[all screaming]
220
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:23,660
What are you doing, pal?
221
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,618
Never leave me alone again.
222
00:07:24,661 --> 00:07:26,271
I'd like to introduce you
223
00:07:26,315 --> 00:07:27,185
to our roommate Jess.
224
00:07:27,229 --> 00:07:28,535
Welcome to our home.
225
00:07:32,756 --> 00:07:33,844
Jess, this loft
has old pipes--
226
00:07:33,888 --> 00:07:35,672
I've told you that
a million times,
227
00:07:35,716 --> 00:07:36,630
but you never listen
during pipe talk.
228
00:07:36,673 --> 00:07:38,501
Well, pipe talk's boring.
229
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,634
What is this?What is what...?
230
00:07:40,677 --> 00:07:42,505
[laughs]
231
00:07:42,549 --> 00:07:43,811
You drew my face on a melon?
232
00:07:43,854 --> 00:07:45,377
What else was I supposed
to draw your face on?
233
00:07:45,421 --> 00:07:46,596
Nothing. Don't draw my face.
234
00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:47,728
Okay.
Jess,
235
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,512
for some reason,
that girl out there,
236
00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:51,296
she is sexually
237
00:07:51,340 --> 00:07:54,517
aroused by other
people's misery.
238
00:07:54,561 --> 00:07:56,650
Do you understand
the position that puts me in?
239
00:07:56,693 --> 00:07:57,955
It puts you in
a really good position?
240
00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,610
It really does.
And then what happens?
241
00:08:00,654 --> 00:08:02,525
Okay, I understand how,
in this instance,
242
00:08:02,569 --> 00:08:04,222
I might have cooled
things off for you.
243
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:07,138
Thank you for admitting that.I am prepared to fix it.
244
00:08:07,182 --> 00:08:10,446
'Cause, son, I'm gonna
get you laid.
245
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,882
Okay, it's not how it is and
never call me "son"
246
00:08:11,926 --> 00:08:13,014
and don't talk like that.
247
00:08:13,057 --> 00:08:15,538
The game is True American
248
00:08:15,582 --> 00:08:16,887
but with a sexy new twist:
Clinton rules.
249
00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,715
Pick your interns.
250
00:08:18,759 --> 00:08:20,978
I don't understand the game.Uh, you're gonna
be my intern.
251
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,327
It's okay, it's stripping.
252
00:08:22,371 --> 00:08:23,459
It's not just stripping,
it's sexy.
253
00:08:23,503 --> 00:08:25,417
Okay, so what exactly
are the rules?
254
00:08:25,461 --> 00:08:27,594
The floor is lava, doves
versus hawks.
The couch is
the Mason-Dixon line.
255
00:08:27,637 --> 00:08:28,595
We're not doing
cabinets-- no cabinets.
256
00:08:28,638 --> 00:08:29,944
No cabinet.No cabinets.
257
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:31,772
One, two, three, four, JFK!
258
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:32,599
ALL:
FDR!
259
00:08:32,642 --> 00:08:34,209
Go, go--
that's the lava!
260
00:08:34,252 --> 00:08:35,776
[clamoring]
261
00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:37,734
Down, down in the tunnels.No.
262
00:08:37,778 --> 00:08:38,561
I'm the President,
you're the Vice President.
263
00:08:38,605 --> 00:08:39,562
Joe Biden!
264
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,477
It's Abu Nazir!
Where?
265
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:44,480
No, no, no, no!
Spin, spin, spin, spin!Fly! Do the chicken dance!
266
00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:46,743
No, no counter clock-wise?Oh, no, no, no, no, no!
267
00:08:46,787 --> 00:08:47,744
Holly, you're in the
Amber Waves of Grain.
268
00:08:47,788 --> 00:08:50,268
You have to lose your jacket.
269
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,618
I...Take off your jacket;
she's right.
270
00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,663
Those are the rules.
271
00:08:53,707 --> 00:08:54,838
Is there, like, a printout of
the rules I can see, or...?
272
00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,144
No!
No!
273
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:57,232
I thought this was like music...
274
00:08:57,275 --> 00:08:58,581
Howard Dean Scream.
275
00:08:58,625 --> 00:09:00,757
ALL:
Yeah!
276
00:09:00,801 --> 00:09:02,585
God...
277
00:09:02,629 --> 00:09:04,718
I am sorry I was crying so much.
278
00:09:04,761 --> 00:09:05,719
God, that film,
279
00:09:05,762 --> 00:09:07,764
it just... it just reminded me
280
00:09:07,808 --> 00:09:09,287
how much I want
to have kids, you know?
281
00:09:10,811 --> 00:09:12,813
Was that just
a really weird thing
282
00:09:12,856 --> 00:09:14,815
to say on a first date?No.
283
00:09:14,858 --> 00:09:16,730
Are you sure?
It felt a bit weird.
284
00:09:16,773 --> 00:09:20,821
Oh, my best friend has
texted me, like, 12 times.
285
00:09:20,864 --> 00:09:22,823
I get it-- you're just trying
to get out of the date.
286
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:24,955
No, no, no--
no, this is real.It's the kids thing. I knew it.
287
00:09:24,999 --> 00:09:27,044
Some psycho keeps scratching at
her door and then running away.
288
00:09:27,088 --> 00:09:30,091
She's pretty sure it's
the Calabasas Scratcher.
289
00:09:30,134 --> 00:09:31,483
I mean, is
that a thing?What?
290
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:32,833
I don't keep up with local news.
291
00:09:32,876 --> 00:09:33,790
I don't know, it's fine.
292
00:09:33,834 --> 00:09:35,400
You don't have to lie to me.
293
00:09:35,444 --> 00:09:36,619
I get it.You can come with me.
294
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,838
Okay? Then you'll see.
295
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,622
Well, all right.She's just like this.
296
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:41,015
ALL [chanting]:
Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt!
297
00:09:41,058 --> 00:09:43,626
Schmidt, Schmidt, Schmidt!Gettysburg, Bull Run.
298
00:09:43,670 --> 00:09:46,237
Oh, no, oh, no,
I think I fell-- oh, no.
299
00:09:46,281 --> 00:09:48,022
In the course of human events,
you must...
300
00:09:48,065 --> 00:09:49,763
ALL:
Surrender your shirt!
301
00:09:49,806 --> 00:09:51,155
Fine, I'll take off my shirt.
302
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:52,853
He did it on purpose--
he did it to impress her!
303
00:09:52,896 --> 00:09:54,506
U.S.A.I am not...
304
00:09:54,550 --> 00:09:55,638
ALL:
I am not a crook!
305
00:09:55,682 --> 00:09:58,119
I am not a crook!What do you mean, man?
306
00:09:58,162 --> 00:10:00,469
I took my shirt off! Wait!
It's part of the game, you guys!
307
00:10:00,512 --> 00:10:02,993
Up, up, up.I'm up! Oh, wow!
308
00:10:03,037 --> 00:10:05,430
This footstool really
reminds me of my ex.
309
00:10:05,474 --> 00:10:08,346
Liar! Holly, Holly, look at
these-- these are my abs.
310
00:10:08,390 --> 00:10:10,653
Hard to believe that I used to
be a great big fat person.
311
00:10:10,697 --> 00:10:11,785
Oh, fat makes me so sad.
312
00:10:11,828 --> 00:10:12,699
Yeah, it makes
me sad, too.
313
00:10:12,742 --> 00:10:14,657
I'm chubby... I'm a fat guy.
314
00:10:14,701 --> 00:10:16,267
You look great, man.I'm a fat boy.
315
00:10:16,311 --> 00:10:17,791
Feel where the
fat used to be?Yeah.
316
00:10:17,834 --> 00:10:18,879
Yeah, it's been replaced
with phantom fat.
317
00:10:18,922 --> 00:10:20,881
I still feel it jiggle.
318
00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,709
Hey, Schmidt, your butt
319
00:10:22,752 --> 00:10:24,711
just violated
the Hawley-Smoot Tariff Act.
320
00:10:24,754 --> 00:10:26,713
Westward Ho, son! Westward Ho.
321
00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,845
Bye-bye, Schmidt.Damn it.
322
00:10:28,889 --> 00:10:29,890
Come on, all you got
to do is talk to her,
323
00:10:29,933 --> 00:10:31,587
what's the big deal?
324
00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:33,110
Okay, mm...
325
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:35,286
You're at the bar-- I'm Holly.
326
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:37,767
Boy, am I thirsty.
327
00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:39,247
I was wondering if, like...
328
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:40,727
if you want... if you want,
per chance, like...
329
00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:41,815
"Per chance," really?
330
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,904
Hm? No, it's, uh...
331
00:10:43,947 --> 00:10:46,167
You're a swell kind of gal.Getting worse.
332
00:10:46,210 --> 00:10:47,342
You come on out to the bar.
333
00:10:47,385 --> 00:10:48,735
[imitates retching]
334
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,780
Hey, girl, what your name is?
335
00:10:50,824 --> 00:10:52,260
Oh, my God.What that thing do?
336
00:10:52,303 --> 00:10:53,522
Oh, my God.
337
00:10:53,565 --> 00:10:54,915
Out of all the gals in this...God... what...
338
00:10:54,958 --> 00:10:57,918
you walked into mine.Please.
339
00:10:57,961 --> 00:11:00,050
Um...
Yeah, take a sip.
340
00:11:00,094 --> 00:11:01,573
Okay, look,
I think you're amazing.
341
00:11:01,617 --> 00:11:03,488
Would you like to have
a drink with me?
342
00:11:03,532 --> 00:11:05,839
Yes, yes, I will.
343
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:06,753
Now give me that.
344
00:11:06,796 --> 00:11:08,145
[both chuckle]
345
00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:09,712
This coat is an unfair
advantage-- take it off.
346
00:11:09,756 --> 00:11:10,800
I love the coat.
347
00:11:10,844 --> 00:11:11,758
Take the coat off!
348
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,628
Hey, Schmidt!
349
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:14,717
Hey, hey! No!
350
00:11:14,761 --> 00:11:16,719
Order! Order!
351
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:18,939
All right, there's only
one way to solve this.
352
00:11:18,982 --> 00:11:20,941
Two of us have to go
behind the Iron Curtain,
353
00:11:20,984 --> 00:11:22,769
which is that door
there, and kiss.
354
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:24,814
And there has to be
a "clear and present
355
00:11:24,858 --> 00:11:26,729
threat of tongue."This is why
I voted for you.
356
00:11:26,773 --> 00:11:28,731
Holly, you ready
for this?
357
00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:29,732
Definitely against
the president's order.
358
00:11:29,776 --> 00:11:30,733
Ready?NICK: Let's do the count.
359
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:31,778
The two, three
or four.
360
00:11:31,821 --> 00:11:33,127
So when we do this, do two.
361
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:34,215
Okay.Not three, not one,
not four-- two.
362
00:11:34,258 --> 00:11:35,738
A one or a three.
Anything but a two.
363
00:11:35,782 --> 00:11:37,174
Just not a two.Two. Do you hear me? Two.
Not four.
364
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,741
One, two, three.
365
00:11:38,785 --> 00:11:40,961
What are you doing?You said not to do a two!
366
00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,745
NICK:
I made it so clear!
367
00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,097
No...!
No...!
368
00:11:47,141 --> 00:11:48,925
...brought the change in!Mulligan! Mulligan!
369
00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:50,971
Holly, wait for me!
I'm very sad!
370
00:11:51,014 --> 00:11:52,320
ALL:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
371
00:11:52,363 --> 00:11:54,975
Open the door!
Open the door!
372
00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,151
[muffled]: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
373
00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:59,762
[whistling]
374
00:11:59,806 --> 00:12:01,938
I can see how
in this second instance
375
00:12:01,982 --> 00:12:02,809
I might be considered
a cooler...
376
00:12:02,852 --> 00:12:04,375
if you want to label me.
377
00:12:04,419 --> 00:12:05,986
You think?
378
00:12:10,164 --> 00:12:12,775
ALL [chanting]:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
379
00:12:12,819 --> 00:12:15,865
Okay, we kissed. Let us out.
Sent you a picture.
380
00:12:17,388 --> 00:12:19,782
WINSTON:
That ain't no kiss, man!
381
00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:20,914
Come on,
Inspector Gadget,
382
00:12:20,957 --> 00:12:22,567
inspect those tonsils.
383
00:12:22,611 --> 00:12:24,656
Just give Jess
a tender, sensual kiss,
384
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:26,397
and we will let you
right out.
385
00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:28,051
Shut up, Schmidt!Schmidt, stay out of this!
386
00:12:28,095 --> 00:12:29,792
SCHMIDT: Please stop
yelling at me!
387
00:12:29,836 --> 00:12:31,054
You know that I'm ten percent
388
00:12:31,098 --> 00:12:31,925
more emotionally fragile
than Nick right now.
389
00:12:31,968 --> 00:12:33,013
No, no, don't!
No, please!
390
00:12:33,056 --> 00:12:34,057
Don't! Don't!
391
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,451
Do you mind if I tell you
a story?
392
00:12:36,494 --> 00:12:38,235
Is it sad?Holly, he's really happy!
393
00:12:38,279 --> 00:12:40,194
He's got a 401K
and a six-pack!
394
00:12:40,237 --> 00:12:41,804
Well, it's the tale
395
00:12:41,848 --> 00:12:43,980
of an uber successful
marketing executive's journey...
396
00:12:44,024 --> 00:12:45,677
I'm hairy
and chubby!...into heartbreak.
397
00:12:45,721 --> 00:12:46,678
Mm-hmm.
398
00:12:46,722 --> 00:12:47,941
Her name was Cecelia.
399
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,943
No!
400
00:12:49,986 --> 00:12:51,727
Come on, come on. Holly, wait!
401
00:12:51,771 --> 00:12:53,990
Ugh! What is the big deal?
402
00:12:54,034 --> 00:12:56,906
Let's just suck it up
and French a little.
403
00:12:56,950 --> 00:12:58,125
Okay, fine, but don't say
404
00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,648
"Let's suck it up
and French a little."
405
00:12:59,691 --> 00:13:01,041
Okay, fine. Let's do this.
406
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:03,913
What were you doing?!
407
00:13:03,957 --> 00:13:05,959
Well, I thought you're
sitting on the ground.
408
00:13:06,002 --> 00:13:07,177
No. I... Okay.Uh!
409
00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,179
Okay, Jess, hey,
this is not a big deal.
410
00:13:09,223 --> 00:13:10,877
Okay, not
a big deal.Let's just do it.
411
00:13:10,920 --> 00:13:12,835
Fine. Let's just do it.Okay. Great, yeah.
412
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,010
Let's just do it.
413
00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,011
Okay, cool.
414
00:13:15,055 --> 00:13:16,491
Why are you licking
your lips?
415
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,015
Should I not?
Do you want dry lips?No.
416
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,495
Then I'm just licking 'em
to make 'em better.
417
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:21,757
Okay.
Fine.
418
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:23,846
Do it.
I'm doing it.
419
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,021
Fine, then do it.
420
00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:26,544
Are you a tongue-er?
421
00:13:26,588 --> 00:13:27,850
Am I a tongue-er?I don't want to put
422
00:13:27,894 --> 00:13:29,765
my tongue in your mouth,
if you don't like it.
423
00:13:29,809 --> 00:13:30,853
Just kiss me!
424
00:13:30,897 --> 00:13:32,028
Okay, all right, great.
425
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:34,117
That's what I'm gonna do.All right.
426
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:35,292
Ready?
427
00:13:35,336 --> 00:13:36,859
Yeah.
428
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:38,861
One, two... I'm actually
not gonna do a count.
429
00:13:38,905 --> 00:13:40,341
Okay.
That's not my style
when I kiss.
430
00:13:40,384 --> 00:13:41,733
I don't count down before...Okay.
431
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:44,040
I don't think so.
Okay.
432
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,520
Ready?Yep.
433
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:49,437
I'm sorry.
You can't do that.What did I do?
434
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:50,568
Your face.
My face?
435
00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,875
Yeah, you can't do that
with your face.
436
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:54,007
Okay, I'll do something
different with my face.
437
00:13:54,050 --> 00:13:56,052
Okay, all right, great.
438
00:13:57,575 --> 00:13:59,012
Wait-- you can't kiss
with your teeth!
439
00:13:59,055 --> 00:14:00,578
Okay, I can't--
no, I can't do this.
440
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:02,885
Well, you can't try to kiss me
like a Joker and expect...
441
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,626
Okay, you're...
let me out of here!
442
00:14:04,669 --> 00:14:06,584
NICK: Let me out!Sometimes, I hear her name
when the wind blows.
443
00:14:06,628 --> 00:14:07,759
NICK: Please!
444
00:14:07,803 --> 00:14:10,110
NICK: Open the door![whooshing]
Cece.
445
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:13,069
You know, I left something
behind in the desert that day:
446
00:14:13,113 --> 00:14:14,897
my faith and true love...
447
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,291
and my future biracial child.
448
00:14:17,334 --> 00:14:19,119
You, you kind of
lost me there.
449
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:20,772
Not really doing it
for me.
450
00:14:20,816 --> 00:14:21,904
It's more depressing
than sad.
451
00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,384
It's not depress...It's depressing.
452
00:14:23,427 --> 00:14:24,385
It's sort of depressing.No, no, no, it's not depressing.
453
00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:25,560
It's not really
doing it for me.
454
00:14:25,603 --> 00:14:26,604
I'm gonna tell you
why it's not depressing.
455
00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:27,779
Because she is still
in love with me.
456
00:14:27,823 --> 00:14:30,957
I'm over it completely.
457
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:34,134
Having said that,
it's so hard to move on.
458
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:35,831
Do-do you know what I mean?Yes.
459
00:14:35,875 --> 00:14:37,050
Can you help me move on, Holly?You need help moving.
460
00:14:37,093 --> 00:14:38,921
Can you heal my pain?I can heal your pain.
461
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,053
Can you ple...I can heal you.
462
00:14:40,096 --> 00:14:41,054
Yeah, you can heal my...
463
00:14:41,097 --> 00:14:42,925
Hey, Jess? Where's Jess? Jess,
464
00:14:42,969 --> 00:14:44,796
where are you?
I came as fast as I can.
465
00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,147
NICK: Cece, open the door!JESS: Cece, don't worry!
I'm just trapped
466
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,496
I need to kill Schmidt!until I kiss Nick!
467
00:14:48,539 --> 00:14:50,933
What?You're the... She's theCece?
468
00:14:50,977 --> 00:14:52,326
Right there,
in the flesh.
469
00:14:52,369 --> 00:14:53,849
You are obsessed!
470
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:56,156
Cece, honey,
you have to move on, okay?
471
00:14:56,199 --> 00:14:58,158
You can't love somebody
forever.
472
00:14:58,201 --> 00:15:01,161
I'm sorry.
You love that small shiny man?
473
00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:02,292
No!What do you mean, small, man?
474
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,120
None of this is true.
475
00:15:04,164 --> 00:15:06,557
No, because I'm on a date.
476
00:15:06,601 --> 00:15:08,342
Should we make out to make him
jealous or something?
477
00:15:08,385 --> 00:15:10,953
Are you lying to me?
I really hate being lied to.
478
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:13,521
I would never lie to you.
I haven't lied to you
479
00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:16,002
this whole time we've been
in this loft-- that's a fact.
480
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:17,960
Cece, uh...
Hey.
481
00:15:18,004 --> 00:15:20,832
...please tell me,
in front of Holly,
482
00:15:20,876 --> 00:15:22,008
how much you still
love me.
483
00:15:22,051 --> 00:15:24,053
I'm sorry.
Is this why we came here?
484
00:15:24,097 --> 00:15:26,403
Please, I don't really know
what that accent is.English.
485
00:15:26,447 --> 00:15:28,362
I speak English.
That didn't sound
like English.
486
00:15:28,405 --> 00:15:31,321
It will be my final request,
487
00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,193
I promise,
488
00:15:33,236 --> 00:15:35,630
so both of us can move on.
489
00:15:35,673 --> 00:15:39,982
'Cause I, you know,
I'd really like to move on.I get it.
490
00:15:40,026 --> 00:15:42,942
I'd like to move on
all night long with Holly.Okay, I get it.
491
00:15:46,206 --> 00:15:48,817
I'm only gonna say this
one more time.
492
00:15:48,860 --> 00:15:52,908
I always have
and always will...
493
00:15:52,952 --> 00:15:55,128
love you.
494
00:15:55,171 --> 00:15:59,045
All right, all right, you know,
this is the most elaborate way
495
00:15:59,088 --> 00:16:01,656
to get out of dating me that
I've ever experienced, so...
496
00:16:01,699 --> 00:16:03,179
[mouthing]
497
00:16:05,312 --> 00:16:06,400
Winny, it's Nicky.
498
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,054
Open the door, man!
499
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,186
I guess the game's over.I thought we were
working together.
500
00:16:10,230 --> 00:16:11,274
I was gonna start on
your confidence
501
00:16:11,318 --> 00:16:13,015
and work my way up
to your facial hair.
502
00:16:13,059 --> 00:16:14,495
What's your fiancé
gonna say about that?
503
00:16:14,538 --> 00:16:17,150
Oh, this? I just wear it
so guys don't hit on me in bars.
504
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:18,194
Okay.
505
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,369
I'm single.
506
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,110
What are you gonna
do about it, huh?
507
00:16:21,154 --> 00:16:22,155
I'm gonna tell you
what I'm gonna do.
508
00:16:22,198 --> 00:16:23,243
Okay, I'm waiting.
509
00:16:23,286 --> 00:16:25,375
Um, so...
Still waiting.
510
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:27,116
NICK:
Don't say anything!
511
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:28,204
JESS: She sounds weird!
Just let us out!
512
00:16:28,248 --> 00:16:30,206
NICK: Just open the door.Yeah.
513
00:16:36,256 --> 00:16:39,433
C minus.
You kiss like a damn bitch.
514
00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:41,957
Oh, you're messing
with me; okay.
Little bit.
515
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:44,220
[both sigh]
516
00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,092
Nick, I'm gonna admit it.
517
00:16:46,135 --> 00:16:47,093
I might be your cooler.
518
00:16:47,136 --> 00:16:49,095
I chalk it up to bad timing.
519
00:16:49,138 --> 00:16:50,313
Well, thank you for
admitting that.
520
00:16:50,357 --> 00:16:52,533
But to be fair,
521
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:55,057
you are your own cooler
70% of the time.
522
00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:57,320
Some basic grooming, Nick,
and you'd be smoking hot.
523
00:16:57,364 --> 00:16:59,192
I'd be smoking hot?
524
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:00,193
You'd be smoking hot.
525
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,281
You do want to kiss me, then.
526
00:17:01,324 --> 00:17:03,239
All bets are off
if you take a shower.
527
00:17:03,283 --> 00:17:05,807
[laughs]
That is very nice of you.
528
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:14,468
[banging on door]
529
00:17:14,511 --> 00:17:15,730
Jess, are you okay?
I got your message!
530
00:17:15,773 --> 00:17:17,645
What's happening?
531
00:17:17,688 --> 00:17:19,342
Sam, I'm so sorry.Yeah... here, I'll help you up.
I'll help you up.
532
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:20,300
It was a false alarm.
533
00:17:20,343 --> 00:17:22,084
All right.
534
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:24,260
What are you doing back there?
535
00:17:24,304 --> 00:17:27,263
ALL: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
536
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:29,483
Okay, let's just do
this already.
537
00:17:29,526 --> 00:17:32,181
Just kiss me.
No, I'm not
gonna kiss you.
538
00:17:32,225 --> 00:17:33,269
Kiss me!Jess, stop!
539
00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:35,271
God! Miller,
just kiss me already!
540
00:17:35,315 --> 00:17:37,360
No, not like this!
541
00:17:37,404 --> 00:17:39,797
That, that...What? What does that mean?
542
00:17:39,841 --> 00:17:41,147
No, I didn't...
543
00:17:41,190 --> 00:17:42,931
Nothing. I just, I didn't
mean it like that.
544
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,541
I just, we can't
like that because
545
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:47,936
that's not...
Do you know, like...?
546
00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,938
It's very, like, you don't...
547
00:17:49,981 --> 00:17:51,113
That's not what it...
548
00:17:51,157 --> 00:17:52,375
[muffled]:
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
549
00:17:52,419 --> 00:17:54,464
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
550
00:17:54,508 --> 00:17:56,988
[muffled]: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
551
00:17:57,032 --> 00:17:58,773
If you'll excuse me.
552
00:17:58,816 --> 00:18:00,296
Nick, what are you doing?
553
00:18:00,340 --> 00:18:02,168
What are you do...?
554
00:18:02,211 --> 00:18:03,908
I'm fine.Nick!
555
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:07,347
I just have to move this,
right here-- my back. Aah!
556
00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,262
Okay, this makes sense.
557
00:18:09,305 --> 00:18:10,698
What are you doing?!
558
00:18:10,741 --> 00:18:12,352
I just need a little air...
[continues indistinctly]
559
00:18:12,395 --> 00:18:13,614
What are you doing?!
560
00:18:13,657 --> 00:18:16,399
This is what I needed.
This is... Ah-ha-ha!
561
00:18:16,443 --> 00:18:18,358
Nick, you don't have
to kiss me!
562
00:18:18,401 --> 00:18:19,968
GROUP: Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
Kiss! Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!
563
00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:22,057
Help! Help me!
564
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,232
[chanting fades]
565
00:18:23,276 --> 00:18:24,799
I made a very bad mistake!
566
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:26,279
[everyone shouting]Nick, no! No!
567
00:18:26,322 --> 00:18:27,280
Help me open this window!
Help!
568
00:18:27,323 --> 00:18:28,498
[all clamoring]Don't jump!
569
00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,239
Hold it right there![yells]
570
00:18:34,635 --> 00:18:36,767
You scared me half
to death out there.
571
00:18:36,811 --> 00:18:38,247
Are you not getting
enough attention?
572
00:18:38,291 --> 00:18:39,379
I'm fine! I am fine!
573
00:18:39,422 --> 00:18:40,554
You wouldn't let me out.
574
00:18:40,597 --> 00:18:42,425
I was partly joking!Nick, we will talk
575
00:18:42,469 --> 00:18:43,948
about this in the morning.
576
00:18:43,992 --> 00:18:45,341
Yes, we will.But first...
577
00:18:45,385 --> 00:18:48,170
I'm gonna go do stuff
with a girl.
578
00:18:48,214 --> 00:18:49,824
Yeah!
579
00:18:49,867 --> 00:18:51,260
I'm sorry.I'm glad you're okay.
580
00:18:51,304 --> 00:18:52,392
I'm fine.I'm just, I got...
581
00:18:52,435 --> 00:18:53,654
Hey, Nick,
if you ever feel the urge
582
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:54,959
to jump again, you call me.
583
00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:56,309
Thank you.
584
00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:59,225
I am genuinely afraid of her.
585
00:18:59,268 --> 00:19:01,575
I wish you didn't do that.
586
00:19:01,618 --> 00:19:02,619
Close the door.
587
00:19:04,317 --> 00:19:05,274
Thank you.
588
00:19:05,318 --> 00:19:07,363
[both chuckling,
talking quietly]
589
00:19:07,407 --> 00:19:10,192
That was freakin' hilarious!
590
00:19:10,236 --> 00:19:13,021
I mean, Jess, he jumped out on
a ledge instead of kissing you.
591
00:19:13,064 --> 00:19:14,065
Can you believe that?
592
00:19:14,109 --> 00:19:15,197
I'm an idiot.
593
00:19:15,241 --> 00:19:17,852
Well, he's missing out.
594
00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,419
You want to go to bed?Mm-hmm.
595
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:20,202
Okay.
596
00:19:21,508 --> 00:19:23,205
[quiet laugh]
597
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:32,083
[scratching on door]
598
00:19:32,127 --> 00:19:33,302
[scratching]
599
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:36,827
Nick!
600
00:19:36,871 --> 00:19:39,047
The scratching's back.
601
00:19:39,090 --> 00:19:40,440
All right, all right.
602
00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:41,223
Jess, I'll take care of it.
603
00:19:41,267 --> 00:19:42,398
Relax.
604
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:45,488
NICK:
There's nobody there.
605
00:19:45,532 --> 00:19:47,098
[gasps, dog barks]
606
00:19:47,142 --> 00:19:49,231
Admiral! Brian!
607
00:19:49,275 --> 00:19:51,364
Admiral Hornbeck!
Brian, down!
608
00:19:51,407 --> 00:19:53,235
Oh, I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
609
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:55,368
Sometimes he gets out...
Is that my coat?
610
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:56,586
What...?
611
00:19:56,630 --> 00:19:58,371
I thought my package
was delivered here.
612
00:19:58,414 --> 00:20:00,242
It's her coat.
I was knocking
and knocking.
613
00:20:00,286 --> 00:20:01,504
Are you sleeping in it?!
614
00:20:01,548 --> 00:20:03,071
I think he might have been.Why?!
615
00:20:03,114 --> 00:20:04,115
'Cause it's a fantastic coat.
616
00:20:04,159 --> 00:20:05,073
It gives me confidence.
617
00:20:05,116 --> 00:20:06,727
Man, that is a woman's coat.
618
00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:07,902
What are you doing?All right, well,
this is not the...
619
00:20:07,945 --> 00:20:09,382
Give her the coat,
Nick.
620
00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,079
I love this coat.
621
00:20:11,122 --> 00:20:13,386
So much weird crap
happens in this apartment.
622
00:20:13,429 --> 00:20:14,256
He's really sorry.
623
00:20:17,520 --> 00:20:18,695
God!
624
00:20:18,739 --> 00:20:20,393
[both chuckle]
625
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:22,743
Well, I guess
the old Nick is back, huh?
626
00:20:22,786 --> 00:20:24,484
Yeah. I'm gonna miss
Trench Coat Nick.
627
00:20:24,527 --> 00:20:25,485
[both laugh]
628
00:20:25,528 --> 00:20:26,747
He was pretty great.
629
00:20:26,790 --> 00:20:27,704
I might miss him.
630
00:20:27,748 --> 00:20:29,489
I liked him.
631
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:30,881
He had guts.
632
00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,274
It was a woman's coat.
633
00:20:32,318 --> 00:20:33,319
[both laugh]
634
00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:35,277
Good night, Nick.
Good night.
635
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,733
I meant something
like that.
636
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:13,924
[grunts with effort]
637
00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:15,535
Oh, uh, hey, babe,
638
00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:18,538
do you mind if I, uh,
put this somewhere else?
639
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,540
It's kind of, it's kind
of creeping me out
640
00:21:20,583 --> 00:21:22,803
when I'm trying
to go to sleep.
641
00:21:22,846 --> 00:21:24,195
Yeah, that's fine.
[clears throat]
642
00:21:24,239 --> 00:21:25,545
Cool.
That's fine.
643
00:21:25,588 --> 00:21:26,415
[thudding]
644
00:21:27,416 --> 00:21:29,244
Whew.
42518
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