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1
00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:05,875
WINSTON: All right, Nick,
we believe in you, man.
2
00:00:05,918 --> 00:00:07,224
Tell us, what's in the cup?
3
00:00:07,268 --> 00:00:08,573
Ah, it's a hard one.
4
00:00:09,792 --> 00:00:11,054
It's a mini carrot.
5
00:00:11,098 --> 00:00:12,186
[laughter]
6
00:00:12,229 --> 00:00:13,143
Onion and potato?
7
00:00:13,187 --> 00:00:14,623
Dumbest boy
in all the world.
8
00:00:14,666 --> 00:00:16,277
How are you so bad
at Feely-Cup?
9
00:00:16,320 --> 00:00:17,495
You are awful
at this game.
10
00:00:17,539 --> 00:00:19,236
Sea glass?
I'm overthinking it.
11
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,891
If his life depended
on this, he would die.
12
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:24,067
Battery.When are batteries squishy?
13
00:00:24,111 --> 00:00:25,851
I'm just kidding, I'm kidding--
I know it's not a battery.
14
00:00:25,895 --> 00:00:27,114
[knocking on door]I'm kidding. Feel, Nick.
15
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:28,767
WINSTON:
Nick, will you
16
00:00:28,811 --> 00:00:29,812
be paying
for bonus time?
17
00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,640
He can't;
he is all out of quarters.
18
00:00:31,683 --> 00:00:33,729
SCHMIDT:
Uh, Nick?
19
00:00:33,772 --> 00:00:35,296
Your dad's here.
20
00:00:35,339 --> 00:00:36,558
Very funny, Schmidty,
but my concentration
21
00:00:36,601 --> 00:00:38,081
will not be broken.
22
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,345
Hey-ya, Nickels.
23
00:00:44,174 --> 00:00:45,349
Come on, kid, bring it in.
24
00:00:45,393 --> 00:00:47,134
Come on! [laughs]
25
00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:48,700
Hello, Mr. Miller.
Welcome to our home.
26
00:00:48,744 --> 00:00:50,137
Feely-Cup?Oh, yeah.
27
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,094
Bring it on.
28
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:54,271
Watch this.
29
00:00:56,491 --> 00:00:57,622
Tampon...
30
00:00:58,754 --> 00:01:01,278
Wrapped in duct tape...
31
00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:04,325
And dipped...
in baking powder.
32
00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:06,240
Is that what it is?
Oh, it is.
WINSTON: Boom!
33
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:09,243
Next level Feely-Cup.Hello, Mr. Miller.
34
00:01:09,286 --> 00:01:11,158
♪ Who's that girl?
35
00:01:11,201 --> 00:01:13,116
♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess.
36
00:01:16,728 --> 00:01:17,686
[whistles]
37
00:01:17,729 --> 00:01:19,340
This is a pleasant surprise.
38
00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:21,124
What brings you
to Los Angeles, Dad?
39
00:01:21,168 --> 00:01:23,170
Let me just, uh,
clean up a little bit.
40
00:01:23,213 --> 00:01:25,172
You know, I just
thought I'd stop by.
41
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:27,130
I'll sleep in your bed,
you can go on the couch.
42
00:01:27,174 --> 00:01:28,175
Sounds like us.
43
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:29,959
Hey.
44
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,569
So, what does Mr. Miller do?
45
00:01:31,613 --> 00:01:33,571
Businessman.
A what?
He's a con man.
46
00:01:33,615 --> 00:01:35,356
He is a con man.He is a damn business--
What are you talking about?
47
00:01:35,399 --> 00:01:36,835
He's a con man.He's a businessman.
48
00:01:36,879 --> 00:01:38,141
Winston's obsessed with Walt.
49
00:01:38,185 --> 00:01:40,361
That moustache
first of all-- what?!
50
00:01:40,404 --> 00:01:42,319
It's like the world's
sexiest push broom.
51
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:44,365
A con man like,
"What's the play?"
52
00:01:44,408 --> 00:01:45,931
The, uh, Ring-A-Doo
Johnnycakes?
53
00:01:45,975 --> 00:01:47,759
The, uh, Hollow Leg
Swap-Em-Out?
54
00:01:47,803 --> 00:01:49,152
Yes, exactly.
55
00:01:49,196 --> 00:01:51,850
Fake trombones for a fake band.
56
00:01:51,894 --> 00:01:53,156
Harold Hill!
57
00:01:53,200 --> 00:01:54,940
Music Man?
58
00:01:54,984 --> 00:01:57,378
[chuckling]No, he is not a con man, okay?
59
00:01:57,421 --> 00:01:59,510
You know, he sometimes
used to sell hats.
60
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,338
There you go, boys-- enjoy.
61
00:02:01,382 --> 00:02:02,383
Thanks, Dad.
62
00:02:02,426 --> 00:02:06,604
So many hats.
63
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:09,172
Okay, technically,
they were misprints.
64
00:02:09,216 --> 00:02:11,218
This says:
65
00:02:11,261 --> 00:02:13,394
"Chica Go Bills."
66
00:02:13,437 --> 00:02:16,440
Let's go, guys--
these hats suck.
67
00:02:16,484 --> 00:02:19,400
"Chica Go Bills" is, uh,
actually Spanish
68
00:02:19,443 --> 00:02:22,011
for "Young girl, go Bills."
69
00:02:22,054 --> 00:02:25,014
Who's gonna mess with a guy
who's wearing a hat
70
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,755
that says,
"Young girl, go Bills?"
71
00:02:26,798 --> 00:02:28,757
I mean, the answer is everybody.
72
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:30,411
They will, they mess with you.
73
00:02:30,454 --> 00:02:31,890
[Nick groaning]
74
00:02:31,934 --> 00:02:34,980
Oh, my... Nick, please
do not angry-fix the sink.
75
00:02:35,024 --> 00:02:36,895
I'm not angry-fixing;
I'm fixing!
76
00:02:36,939 --> 00:02:39,420
You want to know why
I'm messed up?
77
00:02:39,463 --> 00:02:40,986
Why I don't trust people?
78
00:02:41,030 --> 00:02:42,423
Why I have anger issues?
79
00:02:42,466 --> 00:02:43,815
Oh, yes, I do want to know.
80
00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,904
Why I have the blood pressure
of a hummingbird?
81
00:02:45,948 --> 00:02:47,297
[rapid banging]
82
00:02:48,733 --> 00:02:51,258
[shouting]:
about your dad?is is maybe
83
00:02:53,651 --> 00:02:55,087
WALT:
And so Nickels comes
84
00:02:55,131 --> 00:02:57,220
into my room screaming,
"Daddy, Daddy."
85
00:02:57,264 --> 00:02:58,787
So I go,
"What's wrong?"
86
00:02:58,830 --> 00:03:01,442
He says, "Daddy, I have a tick
at the end of my tinkle."
87
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:03,400
Oh, my God!
88
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:05,794
This is not a story
for everyone.And sure enough,
89
00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,665
there is a tick
90
00:03:07,709 --> 00:03:09,450
at the end of his little penis.
91
00:03:09,493 --> 00:03:10,799
Not a story for this moment.
92
00:03:10,842 --> 00:03:12,279
That's how he got the
nickname "Little Penis."
93
00:03:12,322 --> 00:03:14,237
Oh, stop calling me that.
94
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:16,674
What are we gonna
do with this guy?I have no idea, Pop-Pop.
95
00:03:16,718 --> 00:03:18,807
Don't call him Pop-Pop.That's his nickname.
96
00:03:18,850 --> 00:03:20,765
The nickname is
longer than Walt.But that's the nickname
97
00:03:20,809 --> 00:03:23,072
that I gave him.Yeah, but it's really weird
that you call my dad Pop-Pop.
98
00:03:23,115 --> 00:03:25,030
I like Pop-Pop.You don't get it.
You don't get it.
99
00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,336
Yeah, fine, just don't
call him Pop-Pop, so...
100
00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,251
I think it's time
for another drink.
101
00:03:28,295 --> 00:03:29,339
What do you
say, gorgeous?
102
00:03:29,383 --> 00:03:30,819
You want to give
an old man a hand?
103
00:03:30,862 --> 00:03:32,168
Sure.
104
00:03:33,517 --> 00:03:34,605
I don't know, Nick.
105
00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,954
A lot of charm coming
106
00:03:35,998 --> 00:03:37,260
from this end
of the booth.
107
00:03:37,304 --> 00:03:38,479
'Cause that's what he does.
108
00:03:38,522 --> 00:03:40,263
He lures you in
109
00:03:40,307 --> 00:03:42,483
with his charm and his moustache
and his perfect hair.
110
00:03:42,526 --> 00:03:45,268
I feel like you need
to talk to him about this.
111
00:03:45,312 --> 00:03:46,487
Right, 'cause I'll just
tell him how I feel,
112
00:03:46,530 --> 00:03:48,053
and everything will be okay
113
00:03:48,097 --> 00:03:49,446
'cause that's really
the way the world works.
114
00:03:49,490 --> 00:03:52,319
Took the words right out
of my mouth, Little Penis.
115
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,059
It's not a thing.I love a good nickname.
116
00:03:54,103 --> 00:03:55,278
Not... not gonna stick.
117
00:03:55,322 --> 00:03:56,453
You know, when Nick
is not working here,
118
00:03:56,497 --> 00:03:57,933
the service is abysmal.
119
00:03:57,976 --> 00:03:59,456
I mean, how many times
did I have to repeat
120
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:01,110
the words, "Lemon Drop shot"?
121
00:04:01,153 --> 00:04:02,503
Yeah, I think
he was making fun of you.
122
00:04:02,546 --> 00:04:03,939
For what?
123
00:04:03,982 --> 00:04:05,506
Working hard and playing hard?
124
00:04:05,549 --> 00:04:06,637
I guess the joke is on me.
125
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,900
[cell phone rings]Another Indian guy?
126
00:04:08,944 --> 00:04:10,337
My mom set me up.Oh, your mom.
127
00:04:10,380 --> 00:04:11,294
That's cool.Mm-hmm.
128
00:04:11,338 --> 00:04:13,470
Have fun with your,
your Devs...
129
00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:16,299
and your...
and your An-Anujs...
130
00:04:16,343 --> 00:04:18,432
or your Deepaks.
131
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,347
Whatever Patel you're dating.
132
00:04:20,390 --> 00:04:21,391
I'm-I'm not sweating it.
133
00:04:21,435 --> 00:04:23,088
His name's Pavun,
Pavun Shetty.
134
00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,438
What?
135
00:04:24,481 --> 00:04:27,745
As in, as in
"Shetty Solutions"?I think so. Why?
136
00:04:27,789 --> 00:04:29,486
They only nailed the
crowd-control logistics
137
00:04:29,530 --> 00:04:31,358
of Bombay's revamped
open-air market.
138
00:04:31,401 --> 00:04:32,489
I thought you weren't
sweating it.
139
00:04:32,533 --> 00:04:35,884
I'm not sweating it.
Sweating it.
140
00:04:35,927 --> 00:04:38,408
Killing me with that Drop, dude.
141
00:04:39,627 --> 00:04:41,585
You really seem to care
about Little Nicky.
142
00:04:41,629 --> 00:04:43,370
I mean, look at him.
143
00:04:43,413 --> 00:04:47,461
He looks like Hilary Swank mixed
with a sad, wet dog.
144
00:04:47,504 --> 00:04:49,376
Do you think he's
really angry at me?
145
00:04:49,419 --> 00:04:50,551
I think you need
to talk to him.
146
00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,989
All I'm looking for is
a second chance.
147
00:04:56,034 --> 00:04:57,471
You don't happen to believe
in second chances,
148
00:04:57,514 --> 00:04:58,515
do you, Blue Eyes?
149
00:04:58,559 --> 00:05:00,343
Actually, I, um...
150
00:05:00,387 --> 00:05:03,259
I'm a bit of a sucker
for second chances.
151
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,566
They're my first
favorite kind of chance.
152
00:05:05,609 --> 00:05:08,612
Have you ever been
to the racetrack?
153
00:05:14,401 --> 00:05:15,445
NICK:
Back at the tracks with my dad.
154
00:05:15,489 --> 00:05:16,490
When Nick was a kid,
he would come
155
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,969
to the track with
me all the time.
156
00:05:18,013 --> 00:05:19,362
And if I got in trouble,
157
00:05:19,406 --> 00:05:20,363
he would get me out of it
158
00:05:20,407 --> 00:05:21,582
by doing the Sugar Ray.
159
00:05:21,625 --> 00:05:23,497
Oh, the Sugar Ray.What's a Sugar Ray?
160
00:05:23,540 --> 00:05:25,368
It's when I pretend
to be a diabetic kid
161
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:26,717
so the man
who is threatening
162
00:05:26,761 --> 00:05:28,850
to beat up my father
would run off scared.
163
00:05:28,893 --> 00:05:31,592
You see, we did have
some good times, didn't we?
164
00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:32,810
Now, come on,
let's make a bet.
165
00:05:32,854 --> 00:05:34,595
Here you go.
166
00:05:34,638 --> 00:05:36,423
What's the catch?
167
00:05:36,466 --> 00:05:38,163
What catch?
There is no catch.
168
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:39,382
What possible catch
can there be?
169
00:05:39,426 --> 00:05:41,297
All I want you to do
is make a bet.
170
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,386
All right, Pop, you want me
to lose your money?
171
00:05:43,430 --> 00:05:45,388
I'll be happy to.
172
00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,444
Schmidt.
173
00:05:57,487 --> 00:06:00,055
Robby?
174
00:06:00,098 --> 00:06:01,839
Robby, what are, what are
you doing here, man?
175
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:04,320
I'm spying on Cece.Cece.
176
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:05,974
You know, I'm still
in love with her, so...
177
00:06:06,017 --> 00:06:08,585
this is pretty much your basic
broken-hearted spying thing.
178
00:06:08,629 --> 00:06:10,282
It's why I got this hat.
179
00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:11,980
Aw, come on, Robby,
you got to get over that.
180
00:06:12,023 --> 00:06:13,634
Wait a second, are you
spying on Cece, too?
181
00:06:13,677 --> 00:06:15,418
No. What?
182
00:06:15,462 --> 00:06:17,768
Are you still in love with Cece?No, that's still...
183
00:06:17,812 --> 00:06:19,596
Yes, I am.
184
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:20,771
It's killing me.
185
00:06:20,815 --> 00:06:22,251
Me, too!
Bring it in, man.
186
00:06:23,861 --> 00:06:25,428
[grunts]
187
00:06:28,126 --> 00:06:29,519
What are you two
doing here?
188
00:06:29,563 --> 00:06:31,129
Whoa, hey.
Cece?
189
00:06:31,173 --> 00:06:32,392
Just nothing,
we're just...Yeah, you know.
190
00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:36,352
Do you think that she saw me?
191
00:06:36,396 --> 00:06:39,094
What? Of course
she saw you.
192
00:06:39,137 --> 00:06:40,661
Do you think
she saw me?
193
00:06:40,704 --> 00:06:42,445
Well, yeah, you don't
have a hat on.
194
00:06:42,489 --> 00:06:45,361
Nicky only had one dream
when he was a kid--
195
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,624
to own a family horse.
196
00:06:47,668 --> 00:06:51,889
That is so surprising 'cause
it just doesn't seem like...
197
00:06:51,933 --> 00:06:53,674
Nick hates living things,
198
00:06:53,717 --> 00:06:55,371
so, like, it just
doesn't really seem
199
00:06:55,415 --> 00:06:57,155
like in line with
what I know about him.
200
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:59,331
All right, look...
201
00:06:59,375 --> 00:07:02,291
I want to buy a horse.Uh-huh.
202
00:07:02,334 --> 00:07:05,250
For me and Nick
to own together.
203
00:07:05,294 --> 00:07:07,122
Oh!I found this beautiful horse.
204
00:07:07,165 --> 00:07:08,863
Gorgeous!
Right.
205
00:07:08,906 --> 00:07:10,647
Me and you are
gonna talk the guy down.
206
00:07:10,691 --> 00:07:11,822
I don't know how to do that.
207
00:07:11,866 --> 00:07:13,476
I'll take care of that.
Okay.
208
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:15,696
Hey-ya, Dusty.
209
00:07:15,739 --> 00:07:18,263
Aw, ya gotta be kidding me!
210
00:07:18,307 --> 00:07:19,482
How'd he find me?
211
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:20,570
Who was that?
212
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:23,399
Eh, don't worry about him.
213
00:07:23,443 --> 00:07:24,487
What do you know
about horses?
214
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:26,663
I know they're big.
215
00:07:26,707 --> 00:07:28,143
Perfect.
216
00:07:28,186 --> 00:07:29,927
JESS:
This is a very sad case.
217
00:07:29,971 --> 00:07:31,363
I mean...
218
00:07:31,407 --> 00:07:32,669
My niece, she goes
to veterinary school.
219
00:07:32,713 --> 00:07:33,583
We're all very proud of her.
220
00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:34,932
JESS:
Top of my class.
221
00:07:34,976 --> 00:07:36,499
So, what do you, uh,
what do you think?
222
00:07:36,543 --> 00:07:37,631
Terrible horse.
223
00:07:37,674 --> 00:07:38,849
She's very sickly.
224
00:07:38,893 --> 00:07:41,548
He. He... He.
He... He.
225
00:07:41,591 --> 00:07:42,853
Oh!
226
00:07:42,897 --> 00:07:45,421
I wish I had brought
my stethoscope.
227
00:07:45,465 --> 00:07:47,554
I'm seeing a lot of split ends.
228
00:07:47,597 --> 00:07:50,557
The mane is totally the wrong
cut for the shape of his face.
229
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,951
So you're saying that this
horse, right now, the way it is,
230
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:56,214
will never race again?Damn it, Uncle Buck!
231
00:07:56,258 --> 00:07:58,216
This horse will
never race again!
232
00:07:58,260 --> 00:07:59,609
Why did you fly me
233
00:07:59,653 --> 00:08:00,958
all the way out
from Grenada
234
00:08:01,002 --> 00:08:02,482
if you weren't gonna
listen to me?
235
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,355
[quietly]: Yes, con!Shh, shh, shh!
236
00:08:06,398 --> 00:08:07,704
Okay, there are
people in life
237
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:09,706
who you want
to be unpredictable.
238
00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:13,449
Your pothead neighbor,
or Vice President Joe Biden.
239
00:08:13,493 --> 00:08:15,233
And then there are people
who you don't want
240
00:08:15,277 --> 00:08:17,366
to be unpredictable,
like your dentist,
241
00:08:17,409 --> 00:08:19,716
or, I don't know,
your father.
242
00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,631
Look, Nick, my dad left
when I was three.
243
00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:22,763
Every single day,
244
00:08:22,806 --> 00:08:24,939
rain or shine, he just
never came back.
245
00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,636
I wish he'd been
a little bit more
246
00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,029
unpredictable;
that's all I'm saying.
247
00:08:28,072 --> 00:08:29,726
I hear you.
248
00:08:29,770 --> 00:08:31,772
And yeah, sure, Walt may owe me
a couple hundred bucks,
249
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:32,816
but it's not a big deal.
250
00:08:32,860 --> 00:08:34,775
My dad owes you money?
How much?
251
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:36,777
Three, 400... like 1,100 bucks.
252
00:08:36,820 --> 00:08:39,649
Oh, my God, he's with Jess.
253
00:08:39,693 --> 00:08:40,737
He's gonna rip her off.
254
00:08:40,781 --> 00:08:42,696
He's gonna
rip her off.
255
00:08:42,739 --> 00:08:44,567
I feel like Cece's making
a big mistake
256
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:45,829
with this Indian guy.
257
00:08:45,873 --> 00:08:48,571
She should be
with somebody like us.Totally.
258
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:49,746
White Guy Power.
259
00:08:52,619 --> 00:08:54,142
Okay, um...
260
00:08:54,185 --> 00:08:56,057
Cool Guy Power.Now you're talking, Robby.
261
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:57,667
What are we gonna do?I don't know.
262
00:08:57,711 --> 00:09:01,802
I mean, one billion Indian men
is a daunting foe.
263
00:09:01,845 --> 00:09:03,368
Suddenly I feel empathy
for Pakistan.
264
00:09:03,412 --> 00:09:04,848
But it's like they say,
265
00:09:04,892 --> 00:09:06,807
"How do you eat
an elephant, Robby?"
266
00:09:06,850 --> 00:09:08,156
With chopsticks.
267
00:09:08,199 --> 00:09:09,636
What?Slowly, with chopsticks.
268
00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:11,420
That's-- no--
with chopsticks?!In a taco.
269
00:09:11,463 --> 00:09:12,726
What?You have elephant tacos.
270
00:09:12,769 --> 00:09:14,466
Elephant tacos?
Who eats elephant tacos?
271
00:09:14,510 --> 00:09:15,990
That's not even
a saying.
Oh.
272
00:09:16,033 --> 00:09:17,295
One bite at a time, Robby.
273
00:09:17,339 --> 00:09:18,775
One bite at a time.
Yes.
274
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,734
One bite at a time.
This is what I'm thinking.
275
00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:24,781
I use my superior powers of
manipulation and persuasion
276
00:09:24,825 --> 00:09:26,478
to get Cece to take you back.
277
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:29,786
Once we've neutralized
the sub-continental threat,
278
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,222
I smite you.
279
00:09:31,266 --> 00:09:32,484
What?
What?
280
00:09:32,528 --> 00:09:34,661
You said you're gonna smite me?
281
00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,619
Smite-- defeat gloriously
for Cece's hand.
282
00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:38,012
No, I know what it means.But that's someday.
283
00:09:38,055 --> 00:09:41,319
For now, let's scheme,
my "broheem."
284
00:09:41,363 --> 00:09:43,017
Okay... I just want to reiterate
285
00:09:43,060 --> 00:09:45,628
that I'm not on board
with the smiting.
286
00:09:45,672 --> 00:09:47,804
Whatever.But I like
the "broheem" thing a lot.
287
00:09:47,848 --> 00:09:49,197
Let's concentrate
on the broheem part.
288
00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,502
Concentrate on... okay.And smite later.
289
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,679
Yeah, okay, yeah.Cheers, broheem.
290
00:09:52,722 --> 00:09:53,897
You got a great deal.
291
00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:56,639
Good luck, Doc.Thanks.
NICK: Dad!
292
00:09:56,683 --> 00:09:58,554
Hi, boys.Can I tell him?
293
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,860
I would rather keep it a secret.
294
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,426
Nick, your dream
finally came true.
295
00:10:01,470 --> 00:10:03,559
We got you a horse.
296
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:05,692
It's not my dream
to own a horse.
What?
297
00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,650
Did you use my friend
to buy a horse?
298
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,869
[cell phone rings]What? No, I swore
you wanted...?
299
00:10:08,912 --> 00:10:10,261
Will you excuse me?
I gotta take this call.
300
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:11,480
That is unbelievable, Dad.
301
00:10:11,523 --> 00:10:12,786
He had this whole
thing-- he was gonna
302
00:10:12,829 --> 00:10:14,091
name the horse "A Father's Love"
'cause you guys
303
00:10:14,135 --> 00:10:15,266
always wanted
to have a horse together.
304
00:10:15,310 --> 00:10:16,572
Tell me you didn't
give him money.
305
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,269
Actually, actually,
that's a funny story
306
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:21,490
because I'm actually
an investor in...
307
00:10:21,533 --> 00:10:22,491
[groans]:
God!
308
00:10:22,534 --> 00:10:23,492
God!
309
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:24,536
[groans]
310
00:10:24,580 --> 00:10:25,842
Walid, drop dead!
311
00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:27,148
Damn, Pop-Pop.
312
00:10:27,191 --> 00:10:28,323
Stop calling him Pop-Pop!WALT: Now, listen,
313
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:29,716
I already got people standing by
314
00:10:29,759 --> 00:10:32,066
to take the horse off our hands.
315
00:10:32,109 --> 00:10:34,721
Horse semen in Dubai is gold.
316
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:36,810
No, you can't sell
"A Father's Love."
317
00:10:36,853 --> 00:10:39,334
There's more to "A Father's
Love" than just semen.
318
00:10:39,377 --> 00:10:41,597
Ew, poetic, but ew.
319
00:10:41,641 --> 00:10:42,816
Dad.Dusty, I see you
320
00:10:42,859 --> 00:10:44,469
and we're doing this right now.
321
00:10:44,513 --> 00:10:46,733
DUSTY: No, no, no, no, no...!WALT: Dusty! Get over here.
322
00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,909
We got your back, Pop-Pop.
323
00:10:48,952 --> 00:10:49,823
Damn, Pop-Pop, man.
324
00:10:49,866 --> 00:10:51,346
Give me that.
[grunting]
325
00:10:51,389 --> 00:10:53,914
Okay, okay, okay!
326
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,742
Father, we got
your back, Father.
327
00:10:59,746 --> 00:11:00,964
Five hundred dollars?
328
00:11:01,008 --> 00:11:03,532
You stole $500 from her
to buy that horse?
329
00:11:03,575 --> 00:11:05,839
I didn't steal
anything from her.
330
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:08,711
She saw the opportunity
for a business investment,
331
00:11:08,755 --> 00:11:09,886
and she took advantage of it.
I mean...
332
00:11:09,930 --> 00:11:11,758
Dad, she will believe anything.
333
00:11:11,801 --> 00:11:12,933
That's not true, Nick.
334
00:11:12,976 --> 00:11:15,283
My real name is Jamil.It is?
335
00:11:15,326 --> 00:11:16,937
No, my name is not Jamil!
336
00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,416
Nick, that was not fair.It is Nick, you know that!
337
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:19,722
You told me in confidence.
338
00:11:19,766 --> 00:11:21,202
How could you think
my name was Jamil?
339
00:11:21,245 --> 00:11:22,769
Well, he's weird.That's a good point.
340
00:11:22,812 --> 00:11:23,770
Just wait for one hour.
341
00:11:23,813 --> 00:11:24,988
You see,
I go meet the buyer,
342
00:11:25,032 --> 00:11:28,078
I sell them our horse
for a huge profit,
343
00:11:28,122 --> 00:11:29,906
and because these suckers
think our horse
344
00:11:29,950 --> 00:11:31,952
is Big Brown's nephew,
they'll overpay.
345
00:11:31,995 --> 00:11:34,955
Blue Eyes gets her money back
with interest.
346
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:36,434
Sounds like a great plan.
We'll come with you.
347
00:11:36,478 --> 00:11:38,828
And I'll watch you give
Jess her money back.
348
00:11:38,872 --> 00:11:39,960
Yeah!
349
00:11:40,003 --> 00:11:41,135
Please, please,
don't do this to me.
350
00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:42,353
We're doing it.No, no, you...
351
00:11:42,397 --> 00:11:43,572
You don't understand,
352
00:11:43,615 --> 00:11:44,747
you're not a sales guy, okay?
353
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:45,966
He... he starts to sweat.
354
00:11:46,009 --> 00:11:48,533
Nick only sweats
if there's lying involved.
355
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:50,405
And there's not lying
involved, is there?
356
00:11:51,580 --> 00:11:53,930
We're coming with, Dad.
357
00:11:53,974 --> 00:11:54,931
Check this out.
358
00:11:54,975 --> 00:11:56,585
We get seersucker suits...Yeah.
359
00:11:56,628 --> 00:11:57,934
And two more guys,
360
00:11:57,978 --> 00:12:00,241
and then we serenade her
with a barbershop quartet.
361
00:12:00,284 --> 00:12:01,764
Well, if we got
ten more guys and a plan,
362
00:12:01,808 --> 00:12:03,766
we'd form an Ocean's Twelve.
363
00:12:03,810 --> 00:12:05,942
I would be Brad Pitt,
you'd be the crafty Asian fellow
364
00:12:05,986 --> 00:12:09,119
who does the, uh,
who does the flippies.Oh, I got a great idea.
365
00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,686
We can name a star
after her, all right?
366
00:12:10,730 --> 00:12:12,166
I know this Web site,
and we could put one
367
00:12:12,209 --> 00:12:14,472
that's right near the
Robbies one through eight.
368
00:12:14,516 --> 00:12:16,474
You have eight stars?There's, like, a billion
stars, they're really cheap.
369
00:12:16,518 --> 00:12:18,476
But eight of them are yours?That's only going
to go up in value.
370
00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:19,956
It's a horrible investment.
371
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,828
I know she's into that
Gandhi crapola.
372
00:12:21,871 --> 00:12:23,003
We could self-immolate.
373
00:12:23,046 --> 00:12:25,005
I feel like we're so close.Wait, Robby.
374
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:26,876
I got it.
375
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:28,791
[rhythmically pounding on door]SCHMIDT & ROBBY:
Cool... Guy... Power!
376
00:12:28,835 --> 00:12:30,793
Cool... Guy... Power!
377
00:12:30,837 --> 00:12:32,273
[chanting faster]:
Cool Guy Power! Cool Guy Power!
378
00:12:32,316 --> 00:12:33,578
Cool-- hey.
379
00:12:33,622 --> 00:12:35,798
Is this happening?Yes.
380
00:12:35,842 --> 00:12:37,234
Why are the two of
you even together?
381
00:12:37,278 --> 00:12:38,453
Are you wearing
a traditional sari?
382
00:12:38,496 --> 00:12:40,803
Yes.I begged you to wear a sari.
383
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,849
I had all these sari-related
sexual scenarios.
384
00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,502
Shh!"Monsoon Bedding."
385
00:12:44,546 --> 00:12:46,940
"The Best Erotic
Mari-bone Hotel."
386
00:12:46,983 --> 00:12:48,811
Stop that."Slum-Doggy-Style Millionaire."
387
00:12:48,855 --> 00:12:51,248
But, what, you're wearing
the sari for who?
Let me see this guy.
388
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,642
No! What...
Schmidt! Robby!You're wearing it for him...
389
00:12:53,685 --> 00:12:56,471
SCHMIDT:
Oh, my God.
390
00:12:56,514 --> 00:12:58,865
Are you... you're
having an orgy here?Mm-mm.
391
00:12:58,908 --> 00:13:00,867
This is a big Indian orgy?Oh, for God sakes.
392
00:13:00,910 --> 00:13:03,043
They're all wearing
their clothes...I'm telling you, it's an orgy.
393
00:13:03,086 --> 00:13:05,523
Pavun and I can't go on a date
until our families...
394
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:07,525
meet.
395
00:13:07,569 --> 00:13:09,484
We saw you on a date earlier.That wasn't a date.
396
00:13:09,527 --> 00:13:12,052
I was meeting
Pavun's uncle, Manish.
397
00:13:12,095 --> 00:13:12,922
SCHMIDT:
Manish.
398
00:13:12,966 --> 00:13:16,491
That is Pavun.
399
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:19,015
Oh, that's Pavun. Oh, my God,
look at this guy, he's gorgeous.
400
00:13:19,059 --> 00:13:20,669
SCHMIDT: What are you
talking about?
401
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:21,670
I don't have a chance here.
Look at his features.
402
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:22,671
Look at your features, man.
403
00:13:22,714 --> 00:13:23,672
You're just as gorgeous.
404
00:13:23,715 --> 00:13:24,847
I mean, kind of.
405
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:26,893
You're kind,
you always have gum...
406
00:13:26,936 --> 00:13:29,069
and you've got so much pep.
407
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,026
ROBBY:
You know what, look:
you are confident,
408
00:13:30,070 --> 00:13:31,158
and you're punctual,
409
00:13:31,201 --> 00:13:32,376
and you came up
with this awesome plan.
410
00:13:32,420 --> 00:13:34,248
Yeah, we came up with
this awesome plan.
411
00:13:34,291 --> 00:13:35,902
Together.You know what, screw it,
I don't even care anymore.
412
00:13:35,945 --> 00:13:37,338
White Guy Power!
413
00:13:37,381 --> 00:13:38,774
That's "white guy."All right, man.
414
00:13:38,818 --> 00:13:40,994
Let's do it. All right.White Guy Power.
415
00:13:41,037 --> 00:13:42,865
Qui... you got to quit
it with that, man.
416
00:13:42,909 --> 00:13:44,214
I'm telling you,
it's a little racist.
417
00:13:44,258 --> 00:13:45,912
Get out of here
before I throw you out.
418
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,652
All right.He is so organized, you know?
419
00:13:47,696 --> 00:13:48,915
I am just... I'm learning a ton.
420
00:13:55,747 --> 00:13:57,445
I'm ready for this.
This is good.
421
00:13:57,488 --> 00:13:58,446
JESS:
This is really exciting.
422
00:13:58,489 --> 00:14:00,013
This is my first
423
00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,753
middle of the night
parking lot horse deal.
424
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,452
This is not gonna work,
they're gonna...
425
00:14:04,495 --> 00:14:05,975
It's gonna work.
It's gonna work.
426
00:14:06,019 --> 00:14:07,411
Gonna work fine.Take control of this, please.
427
00:14:07,455 --> 00:14:10,110
I got it, I got it. Yes.We got it. We got it, Walt.
428
00:14:10,153 --> 00:14:11,894
Hey, look, will you do me
a favor, please?
429
00:14:11,938 --> 00:14:14,070
Let me handle this.
Just because my dad is in town,
430
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:14,897
I'm not gonna put
you in harm's way.
431
00:14:14,941 --> 00:14:17,030
Yup. Okay.
432
00:14:17,073 --> 00:14:17,944
Twist my arm.
433
00:14:17,987 --> 00:14:20,120
I'll be the lookout.
434
00:14:20,163 --> 00:14:21,251
Just keep your head down.
435
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,297
I've got this
totally under control.
436
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,131
Hi-ya, fellas.
437
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,915
How you doing?Eh, I'm good. You?
438
00:14:32,959 --> 00:14:34,134
I'm good.
439
00:14:34,177 --> 00:14:36,136
Just getting over
a little cold.
440
00:14:36,179 --> 00:14:39,052
Yeah, I get a little agita
myself every once in a while.
441
00:14:39,095 --> 00:14:40,270
Hey, what's going on, everybody?
How you guys doing?
442
00:14:40,314 --> 00:14:41,271
Nice to see you.
This is my dad; I'm Nick.
443
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,272
Cool half-turtleneck.
444
00:14:42,316 --> 00:14:44,318
How you doing, fellas?Good.
445
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:45,362
Just getting over
a little cold.
446
00:14:45,406 --> 00:14:47,147
Good.
447
00:14:47,190 --> 00:14:48,539
He makes the white?
448
00:14:48,583 --> 00:14:50,193
This horse is more
semen than he is horse.
449
00:14:50,237 --> 00:14:51,934
[laughing]
450
00:14:51,978 --> 00:14:52,935
That's disgusting.
451
00:14:52,979 --> 00:14:54,981
Good. We want semen.
452
00:14:55,024 --> 00:14:58,027
Well, you guys
are gonna get semen.
453
00:14:58,071 --> 00:15:01,117
You'll get a bunch
of horse semen.
454
00:15:02,423 --> 00:15:04,729
Wait until it's
next to a lady horse.
455
00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,122
Trust me.
456
00:15:06,166 --> 00:15:08,603
What's the matter? Is sweat?
457
00:15:08,646 --> 00:15:10,344
I don't see sweating.
He's not sweating.
458
00:15:10,387 --> 00:15:11,388
Why he sweating so much?
459
00:15:11,432 --> 00:15:12,607
No, no, no,
I don't sweat too much.
460
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:13,651
Why is... are you a cop?
461
00:15:13,695 --> 00:15:14,783
Cop?
No, no, no, no!
462
00:15:14,826 --> 00:15:15,740
Sweat like a cop.
463
00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:17,133
Take off your clothes.
464
00:15:17,177 --> 00:15:19,831
Why would I do that?Aw, just take off your clothes.
465
00:15:19,875 --> 00:15:21,877
Take it now.He just wants to see
that you're not wearing a wire.
466
00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,052
I would like you
to defend me here.
467
00:15:23,096 --> 00:15:23,966
Now! Take it off!
468
00:15:24,010 --> 00:15:26,012
Take it off.No.
469
00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,535
Now! Take it off!Take off your clothes!
470
00:15:27,578 --> 00:15:29,972
Take off your clothes!
471
00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:31,147
Take off your belt!
472
00:15:31,191 --> 00:15:33,062
Take off your belt.
473
00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:34,585
Now, dance.
474
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:37,632
[both singing folk song
in native language]
475
00:15:43,899 --> 00:15:46,380
Turn around. Turn around.
476
00:15:46,423 --> 00:15:47,772
Okay, okay, okay.
477
00:15:47,816 --> 00:15:48,991
WALT:
All right, all
right, all right.
478
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,906
Yeah, look, look,
He's got no wire.
479
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,994
He's not... he's not
480
00:15:52,038 --> 00:15:53,213
a policeman, he's...
481
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:54,692
Guys, I'm not wearing a wire.
482
00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:56,172
I'm not a cop.
483
00:15:56,216 --> 00:15:57,826
I just sweat like this
when I'm lying.
484
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:58,870
MAN:
Lying?
485
00:15:58,914 --> 00:16:00,089
Lying?WALT:
No.
486
00:16:00,133 --> 00:16:01,221
Nobody is lying.
No...
487
00:16:01,264 --> 00:16:02,135
You lying to me?
488
00:16:02,178 --> 00:16:03,875
Tire iron! Tire iron!
489
00:16:03,919 --> 00:16:05,225
You're lying!
490
00:16:05,268 --> 00:16:07,270
[gibbering]
491
00:16:08,880 --> 00:16:10,056
[squawks, grunts]
492
00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:11,622
What is he doing?
493
00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:13,059
The... the gum!
494
00:16:13,102 --> 00:16:14,799
The gum had sugar in it.
495
00:16:14,843 --> 00:16:16,192
MAN:
These guys are weird.
496
00:16:16,236 --> 00:16:17,454
Weird.[Nick gibbers]
497
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,586
MAN 2:
Strange!
498
00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:19,674
MAN:
You're weird.
499
00:16:23,069 --> 00:16:24,026
[gibbering]
500
00:16:26,159 --> 00:16:27,987
[tires squeal as SUV drives off]
501
00:16:30,424 --> 00:16:32,252
[engine starts]
502
00:16:32,295 --> 00:16:36,082
[tires squealing]
503
00:16:36,125 --> 00:16:38,171
Now you have to talk
to each other!
504
00:16:39,085 --> 00:16:41,087
You've been conned.
505
00:16:41,130 --> 00:16:42,262
God, I'm good.
506
00:16:42,305 --> 00:16:43,480
That's not a con, Jess!
507
00:16:43,524 --> 00:16:45,221
You're just driving away.
508
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:51,967
I was ready to get
your friend's money
509
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:52,968
back for her, okay?
510
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,056
But you insisted on coming here.
511
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,231
You know what?
512
00:16:55,275 --> 00:16:56,406
You know what's funny about you?
513
00:16:56,450 --> 00:16:58,321
Somehow, you have made this...
514
00:16:58,365 --> 00:17:00,497
seem like my fault.
515
00:17:00,541 --> 00:17:02,499
This isn't my fault!
516
00:17:02,543 --> 00:17:04,153
I didn't invite you here!
517
00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:07,113
JESS:
Keep talking.
518
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,550
This is good for you guys.
519
00:17:11,030 --> 00:17:13,249
Are you angry at me
about something, Little Penis?
520
00:17:13,293 --> 00:17:17,732
I have been mad at you
for 30 years, Dad.
521
00:17:17,775 --> 00:17:21,127
30 years?I am not a successful adult.
522
00:17:21,170 --> 00:17:25,131
I don't eat vegetables
and/or take care of myself.
523
00:17:25,174 --> 00:17:27,263
And it's because of you.
524
00:17:27,307 --> 00:17:30,310
Well, okay, maybe I'll take
a little bit of that hit.
525
00:17:30,353 --> 00:17:32,138
Look, it's not "taking a hit."
526
00:17:33,791 --> 00:17:36,098
It's just saying sorry.
527
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:40,015
I think you look cold.
I'm gonna give you my pants.
528
00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:41,756
I don't want your pants.Come on, take the pants!
529
00:17:41,799 --> 00:17:43,758
Dad, please don't do that.You say I do nothing for you.
530
00:17:43,801 --> 00:17:45,499
Let me give you my pants.I don't want your pants!
531
00:17:45,542 --> 00:17:47,109
Don't do this.
Please don't do this.
532
00:17:47,153 --> 00:17:48,589
Take my pants.
533
00:17:49,590 --> 00:17:51,418
This is making it worse!
534
00:17:54,725 --> 00:17:56,205
Dad, the...
535
00:17:58,164 --> 00:17:59,078
This is ridiculous.
536
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,081
Okay.
537
00:18:04,344 --> 00:18:07,042
All right, maybe, uh...
538
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:10,654
maybe I did make some mistakes
along the line, okay?
539
00:18:16,573 --> 00:18:19,185
We all make mistakes, Dad.
540
00:18:19,228 --> 00:18:22,840
Hey, what do you say, tomorrow,
we go to a game?
541
00:18:22,884 --> 00:18:24,407
Any game, you pick it out.
542
00:18:24,451 --> 00:18:26,844
I'm in.
543
00:18:26,888 --> 00:18:28,194
[metal grinding]
544
00:18:28,237 --> 00:18:30,544
You're welcome!
Son of a...
545
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:33,329
This thing doesn't turn so well.
546
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,853
Do you think Cece and
Pavun will make it?
547
00:18:35,897 --> 00:18:37,159
I don't know.
548
00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:38,465
Really can't say.
549
00:18:38,508 --> 00:18:40,206
What I can say is that
one arranged marriage
550
00:18:40,249 --> 00:18:41,294
did take place today.
551
00:18:41,337 --> 00:18:43,644
The marriage of
Schmidt and Robby.
552
00:18:43,687 --> 00:18:46,429
[laughs]
Hell, yeah.
553
00:18:46,473 --> 00:18:48,997
I only dread the day
that we defeat all the Indians,
554
00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,347
and must face each other
in a duel to the death.
555
00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:52,653
Yeah.
556
00:18:52,696 --> 00:18:55,003
Buzz kill.
557
00:18:55,046 --> 00:18:57,310
We're like Butch Cassidy
and the Sundance Kid.
558
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:59,138
Except only one of us dies
at the end of the movie.
559
00:19:00,443 --> 00:19:01,357
It's gonna be you.
560
00:19:01,401 --> 00:19:03,359
You're the one that's gonna die.
561
00:19:03,403 --> 00:19:06,145
You want another beer?Sure do, compadre.
562
00:19:08,886 --> 00:19:10,366
Hey, Walt.
563
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:11,367
What are you doing?
564
00:19:11,411 --> 00:19:12,412
I thought you were gonna go
565
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:13,413
to a game with Nick today.
566
00:19:13,456 --> 00:19:15,110
Going to get a bagel.
567
00:19:15,154 --> 00:19:16,198
In Chicago.
568
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,374
No! No, I can't...
569
00:19:18,418 --> 00:19:20,246
No. Um, I can't let you go.
570
00:19:20,289 --> 00:19:21,290
This means too
much to Nick.
571
00:19:21,334 --> 00:19:23,031
You can't just say
572
00:19:23,074 --> 00:19:24,119
you're gonna do things
and then not do them.
573
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,425
What was that?What was what?
574
00:19:25,468 --> 00:19:26,904
That.
What? What?
575
00:19:30,125 --> 00:19:31,866
Damn, you're good.
576
00:19:31,909 --> 00:19:34,390
Listen, Blue Eyes,
do me a favor, will ya?
577
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:36,523
Will you tell him for me
that I, uh...
578
00:19:38,177 --> 00:19:39,874
You know, that I...
579
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,268
Just keep an eye
on him for me, will ya?
580
00:19:46,446 --> 00:19:49,449
[door closes]
581
00:19:51,277 --> 00:19:53,409
Jess, if you're gonna mess
with my sink,
582
00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:54,454
put some goggles on.
583
00:19:54,497 --> 00:19:55,716
Your eyes are
twice the size
584
00:19:55,759 --> 00:19:57,718
of normal eyes;
it's a bigger target.
585
00:19:59,981 --> 00:20:01,939
Walt's gone.
586
00:20:01,983 --> 00:20:03,419
[wry laugh]
587
00:20:03,463 --> 00:20:04,725
I know how hard
588
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:07,249
it was for you to talk
to him, and I just...
589
00:20:07,293 --> 00:20:12,254
some people, I just
don't under... they just-- aah!
590
00:20:12,298 --> 00:20:14,648
And I understand why you want
to break pipes now.
591
00:20:14,691 --> 00:20:17,433
Let's just drink a bunch
and destroy the sink.
592
00:20:17,477 --> 00:20:21,263
I don't need to break
the pipes, Jess; I'm fine.
593
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:23,483
I mean, truth be told,
I was happy to see him.
594
00:20:23,526 --> 00:20:25,528
I thought if you talked
to him that maybe...
595
00:20:25,572 --> 00:20:26,964
No... Look, Jess...
596
00:20:27,008 --> 00:20:28,314
people don't change.
597
00:20:28,357 --> 00:20:31,142
If someone's broken,
they just stay broken.
598
00:20:31,186 --> 00:20:32,970
You're not broken.
599
00:20:33,014 --> 00:20:35,495
I'm a little broken.
600
00:20:35,538 --> 00:20:37,497
No, no, no... no.
Oh, yeah.
601
00:20:37,540 --> 00:20:38,933
You should be so much worse.
602
00:20:38,976 --> 00:20:41,065
Seriously, you could be
picking up calls on a banana.
603
00:20:41,109 --> 00:20:42,458
You could be, like,
604
00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:43,416
[goofy voice]:
"Hello?"
605
00:20:43,459 --> 00:20:45,983
I don't know how
you made it out.
606
00:20:46,027 --> 00:20:49,378
But... you're good.
607
00:20:52,555 --> 00:20:54,296
Well, look, there's a
lot I don't tell you.
608
00:20:54,340 --> 00:20:56,907
I haven't done laundry
in five months.
609
00:20:56,951 --> 00:20:58,561
I'm not wearing underwear.
610
00:20:58,605 --> 00:21:01,477
I'm just wearing a
big sock right now.Really.
611
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:04,219
A bigsock.
[laughs]
612
00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:05,786
A very big sock.
I got it.
613
00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,483
[quiet laugh]
614
00:21:07,527 --> 00:21:08,702
What do you think about this?
615
00:21:08,745 --> 00:21:10,007
We get a three-person canoe,
okay?
616
00:21:10,051 --> 00:21:12,401
Then we got to her house
and we rap on the door.
617
00:21:12,445 --> 00:21:14,229
She answers the door,
she sees the three-person canoe.
618
00:21:14,273 --> 00:21:15,796
She realizes
there's only two of us,
619
00:21:15,839 --> 00:21:19,495
and we say, "Ah, what a
conundrum. Please join us."
620
00:21:19,539 --> 00:21:21,671
How about this one? We get
some night-vision goggles.
621
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,499
All right, that's all I got.
622
00:21:23,543 --> 00:21:24,761
I don't... I don't
know what else.
623
00:21:24,805 --> 00:21:26,415
I mean, I would say
Trojan horse, but...
624
00:21:26,459 --> 00:21:28,722
In this economy?I mean, we could always
go on a hunger strike.
625
00:21:28,765 --> 00:21:32,465
We enlist in the Navy, we
quickly rise through the ranks,
626
00:21:32,508 --> 00:21:35,468
and then we can take her to
the Naval Officer's Ball.
627
00:21:35,511 --> 00:21:37,296
Feel like we're right there!
41912
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