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1
00:00:06,640 --> 00:00:09,309
Ooh, breakfast smells good.
What's cooking?
2
00:00:09,309 --> 00:00:11,512
Oh, I've got waffles
in the toaster
3
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,179
and hash browns
in the microwave
4
00:00:13,179 --> 00:00:14,515
and a sweater
in the oven.
5
00:00:14,515 --> 00:00:20,053
Just once I'd like
my sweater on the table
when I come downstairs.
6
00:00:20,053 --> 00:00:22,088
You know that cashmere
has to dry flat.
7
00:00:22,088 --> 00:00:26,760
Ooh, don't use
the George Foreman
until my bra is done.
8
00:00:27,227 --> 00:00:29,429
You know, sweetie,
I was just looking
at this brochure
9
00:00:29,429 --> 00:00:32,232
of the housing
development that
you're working on.
10
00:00:32,232 --> 00:00:33,634
It really looks great.
11
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:38,404
Yeah. 200 identical
yet authentic
Italian villas.
12
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:40,106
Well, it'd look
a little more Italian
13
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:45,178
if they just airbrushed
out that Denny's sign.
14
00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:47,848
Todd, relax.
You can stop worrying.
15
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:52,619
Yeah, it was a little late,
but then it came
this morning.
16
00:00:54,187 --> 00:00:56,289
Say what?
17
00:00:56,289 --> 00:00:59,225
He sent me an eâmail.
18
00:00:59,225 --> 00:01:02,362
Allison, maybe you should
tell Todd that you'll
talk to him later?
19
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,398
Really. You talked
to him all night.
You sent him an eâmail.
20
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:06,867
You're gonna see him
in 15 minutes.
21
00:01:06,867 --> 00:01:10,470
Conjoined twins
have less to talk about.
22
00:01:10,470 --> 00:01:12,839
Talk to you later.
23
00:01:12,839 --> 00:01:15,408
You guys are gonna
have to get used
to Todd being my boyfriend.
24
00:01:15,408 --> 00:01:19,145
And by the way,
he's coming over
to study after school.
25
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,847
Not today.
Nobody's gonna be home.
26
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:23,349
Riley, I've studied alone
with boys before.
27
00:01:23,349 --> 00:01:25,285
Yeah, but when you
did that before,
28
00:01:25,285 --> 00:01:26,486
you were actually
in the same grade,
29
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:32,258
so the idea of studying
wasn't just a total load
of caâca.
30
00:01:33,159 --> 00:01:35,896
Good morning, everyone!
31
00:01:35,896 --> 00:01:39,465
And what
a beautiful morning it is.
32
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,868
Mmm. Is that sweater
I smell?
33
00:01:41,868 --> 00:01:45,872
Well, I guess somebody had
a great date last night.
34
00:01:45,872 --> 00:01:50,811
Ah, well, let's just say
I was on... Fire!
35
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:53,847
You got pepperâsprayed
again?
36
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:54,615
Ha ha!
37
00:01:54,615 --> 00:01:57,417
Hey, Josh,
big night,
huh, buddy?
38
00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,451
Way to go, bro.
39
00:01:58,451 --> 00:02:01,655
I'm so happy you found someone
that you care about.
40
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:05,191
So, where'd you meet
this girl? Who is she?
What does she do?
41
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:07,460
I wanna know
everything about her.
42
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:12,298
Joshie! Oh, hi!
43
00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:16,703
Or I could just ask her.
44
00:02:18,905 --> 00:02:20,907
âȘ And I âȘ
45
00:02:20,907 --> 00:02:23,544
âȘ Feel beautiful
right now âȘ
46
00:02:23,544 --> 00:02:26,647
âȘ For the first time
in a long time âȘ
47
00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:29,315
âȘ I'm letting my hair down âȘ
48
00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,284
âȘ And life âȘ
49
00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:33,587
âȘ Gets better every day âȘ
50
00:02:33,587 --> 00:02:36,489
âȘ Though it seems
so complicated âȘ
51
00:02:36,489 --> 00:02:37,891
âȘ We're gonna work it out âȘ
52
00:02:37,891 --> 00:02:40,594
âȘ Whatever comes our way âȘ
53
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:50,604
This is Taylor. We take
the same business class.
54
00:02:50,604 --> 00:02:54,708
Oh, well,
it's a pleasure
to meet you, Taylor.
55
00:02:54,708 --> 00:02:59,613
Um, can I get you
something to eat
or drink or...wear?
56
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:04,551
Sorry. I should
go up and change.
57
00:03:04,551 --> 00:03:07,688
It was really nice
to meet you all.
58
00:03:07,688 --> 00:03:11,424
Joshie, keep me company?
59
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:16,362
Well, you heard the lady.
(chuckles)
60
00:03:16,930 --> 00:03:18,431
If nobody hears
from me for 2 days,
61
00:03:18,431 --> 00:03:21,467
those will be the best
2 days of my life.
62
00:03:22,368 --> 00:03:23,837
Well, Taylor
seemed nice.
63
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:25,839
Yeah, and now she has
the answer to the question,
64
00:03:25,839 --> 00:03:30,376
"What's the stupidest thing
you ever did
when you were drunk?"
65
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:37,250
Have a good time
at school, sweetie.
66
00:03:37,250 --> 00:03:38,952
Riley, I don't think
I like this whole thing
67
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:41,988
with Josh
and having girls
sleep over at our house.
68
00:03:41,988 --> 00:03:44,457
Well, you knew it would
happen eventually.
69
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:46,593
I just don't wanna give
Allison any ideas.
70
00:03:46,593 --> 00:03:47,594
I mean, the last thing
we need
71
00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,831
is to have Todd
come trotting
down the stairs.
72
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:53,499
You can't trot
with broken kneecaps.
73
00:03:53,499 --> 00:03:54,668
True.
74
00:03:54,668 --> 00:03:57,437
Don't worry.
Allison's got a good head
on her shoulders.
75
00:03:57,437 --> 00:04:01,274
Yeah, well, when I was
her age, I had a good head
on my shoulders, too,
76
00:04:01,274 --> 00:04:05,411
when my dress
wasn't up over it.
77
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:10,884
What?
78
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:27,901
Babe, I swear,
I've never felt this way
about anyone before.
79
00:04:27,901 --> 00:04:32,806
And, you know,
next week's my birthday...
80
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:38,879
Oh, look, the Black Eyed
Peas are coming up.
81
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:40,146
I just love them.
82
00:04:40,146 --> 00:04:44,718
I think that Fergie
is so much hotter
than the one in England.
83
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:47,754
Oh, gee, I'm sorry.
Have I been disturbing
you guys?
84
00:04:47,754 --> 00:04:49,022
Oh, hâhey, Mrs. Reeves.
85
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:52,559
You know, I was just
helping Allison look
for her contact lens.
86
00:04:52,559 --> 00:04:54,961
Oh. Did she swallow it?
87
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,262
Mother.
88
00:04:56,262 --> 00:05:00,567
Oh, Todd, why don't
you stay for dinner?
We can order some pizza.
89
00:05:00,567 --> 00:05:01,735
Riley would just love
to see you.
90
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:06,372
He'll be home any minute
from his anger management
class.
91
00:05:06,372 --> 00:05:07,841
Um, you know,
that sounds great,
92
00:05:07,841 --> 00:05:12,979
but IââI have to go
to...another place
right now.
93
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,549
Well, another time,
then.
94
00:05:15,549 --> 00:05:19,085
Thanks a lot, Mom.
It's not like we were
even doing anything.
95
00:05:19,085 --> 00:05:20,754
Of course.
You were studying...
96
00:05:20,754 --> 00:05:23,557
For what apparently
is an oral exam.
97
00:05:23,557 --> 00:05:28,595
Well, why is josh allowed
to have a girl in the house,
and I can't have Todd?
98
00:05:28,595 --> 00:05:32,866
Duh. Your brother is an adult.
You are a teenager.
99
00:05:32,866 --> 00:05:35,068
Ok, well, fine.
I will just see
Todd later,
100
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:37,403
because we're going
to a party at Becca's.
101
00:05:37,403 --> 00:05:38,672
Uhâuh. No.
You ain't goin',
102
00:05:38,672 --> 00:05:41,575
'cause I happen to know
that Becca's parents
103
00:05:41,575 --> 00:05:42,643
are in vacation
in St. Barths,
104
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:45,879
'cause I ran into her mother
trying on a bathing suit
105
00:05:45,879 --> 00:05:48,982
that I wouldn't
be caught dead in.
106
00:05:49,382 --> 00:05:52,886
Well, we are not
having sex, if that's
what you think.
107
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:57,691
Yeah, well, remember
to use those exact words
on Todd's birthday.
108
00:06:01,962 --> 00:06:03,063
Hi!
109
00:06:03,063 --> 00:06:04,898
Hi.
110
00:06:07,033 --> 00:06:10,571
What is this, a freakin'
chicken ranch?
111
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:13,540
Hello again.
112
00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,175
Hi. Is Josh home?
113
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,077
Yeah. Joshie,
it's your mom.
114
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,113
He needs a second.
He doesn't have
any clothes on.
115
00:06:20,113 --> 00:06:21,147
Oh, right.
116
00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:25,652
Yeah, he was that way
when I first met him,
too.
117
00:06:28,054 --> 00:06:28,989
Hey, Mom. What's up?
118
00:06:28,989 --> 00:06:32,726
Nothing. Nothing at all.
Um, close the door.
119
00:06:37,497 --> 00:06:41,668
Close the door with you
on this side of it!
120
00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:43,670
Yes, Mother?
121
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,639
Joshie,
from what I've seen,
122
00:06:45,639 --> 00:06:48,174
this Taylor seems like
a lovely young woman,
123
00:06:48,174 --> 00:06:50,811
and I've seen
most of her...
124
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:53,146
But I just think
that you are setting
125
00:06:53,146 --> 00:06:56,517
a bad example
for your sister.
126
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:57,217
What?
127
00:06:57,217 --> 00:06:58,351
She has a boyfriend now.
128
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,221
I just caught them
making out downstairs
on the couch,
129
00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:05,158
and I don't think that
we need to encourage her
to go any further.
130
00:07:05,158 --> 00:07:07,994
Encourage? I thought
we'd have to pay someone.
131
00:07:07,994 --> 00:07:09,696
You know what I mean.
132
00:07:09,696 --> 00:07:12,699
Well, what about you and Riley?
You don't think she knows
what's going on in your room?
133
00:07:12,699 --> 00:07:15,536
If anybody's setting
a bad example, it's you.
134
00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:16,837
Oh, that is ridiculous.
135
00:07:16,837 --> 00:07:19,606
We are in a committed
relationship.
136
00:07:19,606 --> 00:07:23,977
Oh, hey, as long
as Taylor keeps committing
the things she's committing,
137
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:26,547
I'm committed.
138
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,649
Well, fine. Outside
of this house,
139
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,984
you two can commit
your brains out!
140
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,819
You know what?
You're a hypocrite.
141
00:07:32,819 --> 00:07:35,622
Oh, come on,
I had one pork chop
on Yom Kippur,
142
00:07:35,622 --> 00:07:36,489
and you don't
have toââ
143
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:37,691
You know
what I mean, Mom!
144
00:07:37,691 --> 00:07:39,993
And if you have a problem
with Taylor and me
staying here,
145
00:07:39,993 --> 00:07:42,228
then we'll just stay
at her Mom's house.
146
00:07:42,228 --> 00:07:43,630
Well, fine!
147
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:44,631
Now I know
why your father said
148
00:07:44,631 --> 00:07:47,634
that he'll give me
the Puerto Rico timeâshare
149
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:50,904
only if I keep the kids!
150
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:57,277
(moans)
151
00:07:57,277 --> 00:07:58,745
Fran, stop shaking
the bed.
152
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:02,716
Can't you see
I'm pretending
to be asleep?
153
00:08:04,685 --> 00:08:07,187
Riley,
am I a hypocrite?
154
00:08:07,187 --> 00:08:11,091
Fran, it was one
pork chop 2 years ago.
155
00:08:12,125 --> 00:08:15,195
Not that. I'm talking
about what Josh said,
156
00:08:15,195 --> 00:08:16,462
about me being
a bad example.
157
00:08:16,462 --> 00:08:21,034
I mean, I never wanted
to corrupt the morals
of a young person,
158
00:08:21,034 --> 00:08:22,168
other than you.
159
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:25,606
He was just
standing up to you
to impress Taylor.
160
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,107
Guys will say anything
to get with a girl.
161
00:08:27,107 --> 00:08:33,514
You mean like when you told me
you only had airâconditioning
in your bedroom?
162
00:08:34,314 --> 00:08:36,082
It was the truth.
163
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:39,119
It was December.
164
00:08:40,787 --> 00:08:42,022
Oh, but what about Allison?
165
00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:45,626
I mean, is she taking
her cues from us?
166
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,093
Or even worse, me?
167
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:51,231
I mean, I don't want her
doing the same things
that I did when I was 16...
168
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,100
Or even an hour ago.
169
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,705
Allison. Allison, honey?
170
00:08:58,705 --> 00:08:59,840
(gasps)
171
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,342
Allison! What are you doing
halfway out the window?!
172
00:09:02,342 --> 00:09:04,611
Uh, smoking? I know
it's wrong, Mommy.
173
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:08,148
I'll never do it again.
I love you so much.
174
00:09:09,315 --> 00:09:10,684
(gasps)
175
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:15,221
Todd! Todd, I swear,
if I get my handsââaah!
176
00:09:20,927 --> 00:09:22,596
Mom?
177
00:09:22,596 --> 00:09:24,598
FRAN: Ow.
178
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:33,073
Allison, I just have
one question.
179
00:09:33,073 --> 00:09:35,041
(whining) Why?!
180
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:38,211
Because you wouldn't
let me go to the party.
181
00:09:38,211 --> 00:09:41,615
Allison, you weren't
allowed to go
to the party?
182
00:09:41,615 --> 00:09:46,620
That's why you were
climbing out the window.
183
00:09:47,788 --> 00:09:48,855
Oh, I'm sorry, Todd.
184
00:09:48,855 --> 00:09:53,594
Did we forget
to tell you
we're not morons?
185
00:09:54,995 --> 00:09:57,731
Message received,
RâDog.
186
00:09:58,999 --> 00:10:03,403
Sweetie, you know,
I'm very happy for you
that you have a boyfriend,
187
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:09,009
and I know that it's
a very exciting time...
188
00:10:18,719 --> 00:10:22,756
But, you know,
I don't wanna have to say
that you can't see him.
189
00:10:22,756 --> 00:10:27,327
Yeah, we want you to be
smart enough to figure
that out on your own.
190
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:30,897
You used to be cool, Riley.
191
00:10:31,665 --> 00:10:33,299
Mom, I'm not
a baby anymore.
192
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,401
You know, maybe if
you treated me
like an adult,
193
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:36,402
I would act
like one.
194
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,403
Uh, yeah, well,
195
00:10:37,403 --> 00:10:41,708
it's the adult acts
that I'm trying to prevent.
196
00:10:42,676 --> 00:10:46,880
Mmm, sweetie, I think
you're moving way too fast
with this boy.
197
00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,915
I know 'cause I went
down that path,
198
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:55,055
and I just can't
see you making
the same mistakes as I did.
199
00:10:55,055 --> 00:10:56,690
Ok, I get it.
200
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:58,258
So you understand
201
00:10:58,258 --> 00:11:02,729
why you can't be alone
in the house with him,
don't you?
202
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:03,897
Yes, I do.
203
00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:07,200
Oh, sweetie,
I love you so much.
204
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,469
I am so sorry
I made you upset.
205
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:14,140
And I'm sorry I squished
your boyfriend.
206
00:11:20,714 --> 00:11:24,150
That was beautiful.
I mean, you really
got through to her.
207
00:11:24,150 --> 00:11:26,987
What, are you kidding me?
She didn't hear a word I said.
208
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:29,956
The whole time
I was talking, she's going,
"blah, blah, blah.
209
00:11:29,956 --> 00:11:33,459
When's she gonna shut up
so I can go call Todd?"
210
00:11:33,459 --> 00:11:36,029
If that's the case,
what's our next move?
211
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:39,800
Well, here's
what I think.
212
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,802
We should
leave her alone
213
00:11:41,802 --> 00:11:43,169
and then when Todd
comes over,
214
00:11:43,169 --> 00:11:47,440
and you know he will,
we'll bust 'em.
215
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,441
Mmm.
216
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:52,879
For a beautiful goddess,
you are an evil genius.
217
00:11:53,479 --> 00:11:55,516
I know.
218
00:11:55,516 --> 00:11:56,850
And believe me,
when we catch her in the act,
219
00:11:56,850 --> 00:12:01,154
she'll think twice
before she pulls something
like this ever again.
220
00:12:01,154 --> 00:12:06,492
And from that point forward,
she will be in complete awe
and dread of her mother...
221
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:12,165
Just as God intended.
222
00:12:16,803 --> 00:12:18,805
Why is there a brochure
for Denny's?
223
00:12:18,805 --> 00:12:23,777
It's not for Denny's.
It's for the Italian villas
I'm working on.
224
00:12:23,777 --> 00:12:27,013
Although they are
both open all the time.
225
00:12:27,013 --> 00:12:28,248
Well, they all look alike.
226
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,817
Who would pay to have
the exact same thing
as everyone else?
227
00:12:30,817 --> 00:12:34,054
Oh, probably the same person
that would get a nose ring
228
00:12:34,054 --> 00:12:36,022
exactly like 15
of her girlfriends
229
00:12:36,022 --> 00:12:38,892
to express
her individuality.
230
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:41,227
So, Allison,
your mother and I
231
00:12:41,227 --> 00:12:42,896
are going into town
to see Fiddler.
232
00:12:42,896 --> 00:12:47,568
Again?
Rosie O'Donnell plays Golda.
233
00:12:47,568 --> 00:12:48,535
What are you
up to tonight?
234
00:12:48,535 --> 00:12:51,572
I don't know. I'll probably
just hang around.
235
00:12:51,572 --> 00:12:53,339
Have a good time.
236
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,340
Cool.
237
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,543
Bye, sweetie.
238
00:12:56,543 --> 00:12:58,311
This is almost too easy.
239
00:12:58,311 --> 00:13:03,349
Oh, Riley, would you look
who just walked in?
240
00:13:03,349 --> 00:13:06,352
You know, I used to have
a son that looked like you.
241
00:13:06,352 --> 00:13:08,522
Mom, I've only been gone
a day and a half.
242
00:13:08,522 --> 00:13:11,091
You didn't call
the police again
like last time, did you?
243
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,859
No.
244
00:13:12,859 --> 00:13:17,998
I tried, but apparently
I'm on some kind
of a list.
245
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:19,065
Where did you
get that sweater?
246
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,333
Oh, Taylor's mom
got it for me.
247
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,970
She said my other one
smelled like easyâoff.
248
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,372
Can I get you
something to eat?
249
00:13:26,372 --> 00:13:28,041
No, I just came by
to get some clothes.
250
00:13:28,041 --> 00:13:29,943
I'm having dinner
at Taylor's house tonight.
251
00:13:29,943 --> 00:13:33,980
Her mom made pies.
Plural.
252
00:13:34,214 --> 00:13:39,319
Riley, did you hear that?
He's seeing other mothers.
253
00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:41,354
Just give it a couple days,
and I'm sure he'llââ
254
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:45,526
I don't have
a couple of days.
Didn't you hear?
255
00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:47,594
He's getting
homeâcooked food
and sex.
256
00:13:47,594 --> 00:13:53,099
That's two things
he knows
he can't get here!
257
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:58,572
Well, I'll cook for him,
but that's where
I draw the line.
258
00:13:58,572 --> 00:14:03,043
Don't worry, Mrs. Urbanski.
I packed warm clothes.
259
00:14:03,043 --> 00:14:05,278
Yes, I remember
the security code.
260
00:14:05,278 --> 00:14:07,480
Ok, see you soon.
261
00:14:07,480 --> 00:14:09,315
You, too.
262
00:14:09,315 --> 00:14:10,250
Riley!
263
00:14:10,250 --> 00:14:12,519
All he needs
is a little fear
of commitment.
264
00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:16,623
So, sounds like you
got a good thing
going on there, bro.
265
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,658
Yeah, you know it,
bro.
266
00:14:17,658 --> 00:14:20,360
You're getting in good
with the family, tod. Smart.
267
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,929
Yeah, you should've
thought of that.
268
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:24,030
(chuckles)
269
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:26,432
You guys go shopping
together yet?
That's always fun.
270
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:29,603
Uh, actually, we're
going to Bloomingdale's
later tonight.
271
00:14:29,603 --> 00:14:31,605
Ah, Bloomie's,
the couples store.
272
00:14:31,605 --> 00:14:36,142
When your mom I started
living together, we spent
a lot of time at Bloomie's
273
00:14:36,142 --> 00:14:38,044
looking for pillowcases
and sheets.
274
00:14:38,044 --> 00:14:40,246
Yep. That's when you know
you're in for keeps.
275
00:14:40,246 --> 00:14:44,017
No. We're justââ
we're just going
to look at shoes.
276
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,452
Shoes, right.
Hey, Fran,
277
00:14:46,452 --> 00:14:49,656
remember when you told me
that we were looking
for shoes?
278
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,425
Oh, yeah, right.
Shoes.
279
00:14:52,425 --> 00:14:54,961
(both laugh)
280
00:14:57,363 --> 00:14:58,965
Whatââwhat do you mean?
281
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,200
Oh, nothing.
282
00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:03,937
If you need to borrow
my truck to move anything,
let me know.
283
00:15:03,937 --> 00:15:05,939
Ok.
284
00:15:07,140 --> 00:15:09,042
Bye.
285
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:12,478
Bye, honey.
286
00:15:12,478 --> 00:15:14,080
What did we
just do here?
287
00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,349
We planted a seed.
288
00:15:16,349 --> 00:15:19,285
You see, he's still thinking
with his little brain.
289
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:23,423
Oh, I get it. But when
the blood starts
to rush up north...
290
00:15:23,423 --> 00:15:28,995
He'll start thinking
about the living hell
that a relationship can be.
291
00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:35,502
When you're not
with somebody you love.
292
00:15:35,502 --> 00:15:38,639
Did you just
get prettier?
293
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:43,510
No, but you just
got smarter.
294
00:15:43,677 --> 00:15:44,745
(ding)
295
00:15:44,745 --> 00:15:47,247
Listen, we better figure out
what we're gonna do,
296
00:15:47,247 --> 00:15:49,650
where we're gonna go,
'cause pretty soonââoohââ
297
00:15:49,650 --> 00:15:53,086
we're gonna have to
come back and trap Allison.
298
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:54,755
Why don't we go check out
the model homes?
299
00:15:54,755 --> 00:15:56,757
Maybe you could give me
some decorating advice.
300
00:15:56,757 --> 00:16:01,962
Ok, but, you know,
I usually get paid
for that kind of work.
301
00:16:07,534 --> 00:16:08,702
(sighs)
(sighs)
302
00:16:08,702 --> 00:16:12,372
Well, that one
was on the house.
303
00:16:12,372 --> 00:16:14,741
Oh, this place is great.
304
00:16:14,741 --> 00:16:16,777
No Josh calling me
a hypocrite.
305
00:16:16,777 --> 00:16:19,079
No Allison
giving me 'tude.
306
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:23,049
No Todd giving us...Todd.
Yeah.
307
00:16:23,049 --> 00:16:25,151
Can we live here?
308
00:16:25,151 --> 00:16:29,089
I don't know.
Won't the buyers
have a problem with that?
309
00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,024
No, not if we change
the brochure.
310
00:16:31,024 --> 00:16:35,028
"Master suite boasts
spacious closet,
jacuzzi tub,
311
00:16:35,028 --> 00:16:37,030
and a sexy,
sweaty couple."
312
00:16:37,030 --> 00:16:41,735
Well, we should
be getting home
to spring the trap.
313
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:43,069
(door closes)
(gasps)
314
00:16:43,069 --> 00:16:45,606
someone's here!
It must be the developer.
315
00:16:45,606 --> 00:16:46,807
How am I gonna
explain this?
316
00:16:46,807 --> 00:16:50,410
Just tell them that,
uh, I'm a buyer,
and you're a salesman.
317
00:16:50,410 --> 00:16:53,780
Yeah, good, we played
that one at home.
318
00:17:01,822 --> 00:17:03,389
(gasps)
319
00:17:03,389 --> 00:17:04,490
Allison?
320
00:17:04,490 --> 00:17:06,793
Aah! Mom!
321
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,529
What are you
doing here?!
322
00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:12,833
What are we doing here?
I'll tell you, young lady.
323
00:17:12,833 --> 00:17:15,368
We're waiting for you.
324
00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,171
I can't believe
I fell for this.
You set me up.
325
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:21,742
That's why you left out
that brochure.
326
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:25,078
Exactly.
327
00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:26,613
Mom, I know what
you're gonna say.
328
00:17:26,613 --> 00:17:30,216
If I don't slow down,
I'm gonna ruin my life.
329
00:17:30,684 --> 00:17:31,985
No. Actually,
330
00:17:31,985 --> 00:17:34,855
I was going to say
you're going
to ruin my life.
331
00:17:34,855 --> 00:17:39,459
Do you think that I like
spending all my time
following after you,
332
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,594
keeping tabs on you?
333
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:43,196
You think I enjoyed
spending the night
334
00:17:43,196 --> 00:17:46,166
in this model home
waiting for you?
335
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:50,571
You think I got
any pleasure out of it?
336
00:17:51,404 --> 00:17:52,706
Todd, sit down.
337
00:17:52,706 --> 00:17:54,140
What are you
gonna do, Mom?
338
00:17:54,140 --> 00:17:56,376
What are you
gonna do, Riley?
339
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,078
Sit.
340
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:01,515
I'm just gonna have
a little chat with
your boyfriend here.
341
00:18:01,515 --> 00:18:02,415
Oh, my God.
342
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:04,851
Now, you see
what happened tonight,
Todd?
343
00:18:04,851 --> 00:18:07,153
I was way ahead of you.
344
00:18:07,153 --> 00:18:08,354
Don't even ask how,
345
00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:13,093
because my powers
are far beyond
your comprehension.
346
00:18:13,527 --> 00:18:16,663
Now, my daughter is like
a delicate flower
347
00:18:16,663 --> 00:18:19,365
who is not ready
to be plucked.
348
00:18:19,365 --> 00:18:21,201
Oh, my God, no!
349
00:18:21,201 --> 00:18:22,102
Yes!
350
00:18:22,102 --> 00:18:24,437
I am the mother. I can
do whatever I want,
351
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,741
like, for example,
I might get a little yen
to show Todd
352
00:18:27,741 --> 00:18:33,313
your American Idol
audition tape,
Britney Spearstein.
353
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:34,615
Mommy!
354
00:18:34,615 --> 00:18:37,751
You swore that after nana
you wouldn't tell
anybody else.
355
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:41,555
Oops, I did it again.
356
00:18:41,555 --> 00:18:44,725
Ok, you win. I will do
everything you say.
357
00:18:44,725 --> 00:18:46,159
Just please stop.
358
00:18:46,159 --> 00:18:48,595
If you stop.
359
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:51,264
Todd? Have we made
ourselves clear?
360
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,934
I know the drill, RâDog.
I'm out of here.
361
00:18:53,934 --> 00:18:56,737
Allison,
I'll see you at...
362
00:18:56,737 --> 00:18:58,905
School.
School.
363
00:18:58,905 --> 00:19:00,841
Can I just say
goodâbye to him?
364
00:19:00,841 --> 00:19:02,543
I'll never stop you
from saying goodâbye.
365
00:19:02,543 --> 00:19:06,947
And just remember, the only
way that we're ever going
to have a good relationship
366
00:19:06,947 --> 00:19:10,917
is if you're totally
and completely honest
with me...
367
00:19:10,917 --> 00:19:14,354
While I lie my ass off.
368
00:19:21,895 --> 00:19:24,698
Oh, good, Chinese.
369
00:19:24,698 --> 00:19:29,503
What, no dinner
at Taylor's House
of Pies?
370
00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:31,905
That's over. We broke up.
371
00:19:31,905 --> 00:19:33,774
Really?
What happened?
372
00:19:33,774 --> 00:19:35,041
(sighs)
We were at Bloomie's
373
00:19:35,041 --> 00:19:40,847
and she said, "That's
the kind of duvet cover
we should have."
374
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:43,383
"We." Do you
believe that? "We"!
375
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,386
Ten seconds later,
I was pulling out of that
parking lot at 60 miles an hour,
376
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:50,323
trying to get as far away
from that psycho as I could.
377
00:19:50,323 --> 00:19:54,595
Remind me later,
I gotta return her car.
378
00:19:55,596 --> 00:19:57,330
So that's it?
It's over?
379
00:19:57,330 --> 00:20:01,935
Gee, I hope that me
and Riley didn't set
a bad example.
380
00:20:01,935 --> 00:20:03,269
Okay, Okay.
381
00:20:03,269 --> 00:20:07,007
There is a difference
between you guys
and what I had with Taylor.
382
00:20:07,007 --> 00:20:09,910
I mean, you guys hang in there
even when people judge you
383
00:20:09,910 --> 00:20:14,581
and smirk behind your back
and point at you like
you're circus freaks andââ
384
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,683
All right.
385
00:20:16,683 --> 00:20:19,853
We get it. Not
everyone's a fan.
386
00:20:19,853 --> 00:20:23,389
Anyway, I shouldn't have
called you a hypocrite.
387
00:20:23,389 --> 00:20:25,926
Oh, thanks, sweetie.
388
00:20:25,926 --> 00:20:29,262
You know what,
I better go.
389
00:20:29,262 --> 00:20:30,496
Already?
You just got here.
390
00:20:30,496 --> 00:20:32,999
I gotta go back
to Taylor's house
and break up with her mom.
391
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:36,670
It's just not something
you do over the phone.
392
00:20:37,838 --> 00:20:38,772
Mmm.
393
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:41,374
You know what? We work
pretty well together.
394
00:20:41,374 --> 00:20:45,646
I know. Between my lying
and your manipulating,
395
00:20:45,646 --> 00:20:47,748
we make great parents.
396
00:20:47,748 --> 00:20:48,782
(laughs)
397
00:20:52,919 --> 00:20:54,655
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