Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,969 --> 00:00:04,671
Josh, could you
read this label
2
00:00:04,671 --> 00:00:05,606
and tell me
how much food
3
00:00:05,606 --> 00:00:07,107
I'm supposed
to give Esther?
4
00:00:07,107 --> 00:00:10,343
Well, this is Sterno.
5
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:14,748
So I guess
it depends on how long
you'd like her to burn.
6
00:00:15,716 --> 00:00:18,118
Why don't you just
get some glasses?
7
00:00:18,118 --> 00:00:19,052
Shh!
8
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:19,953
I have a pair.
9
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:21,522
I just
don't want Riley
to see me in 'em.
10
00:00:21,522 --> 00:00:23,289
Isn't it
bad enough that
he found a gray hair
11
00:00:23,289 --> 00:00:27,427
before I had a chance
to get at it
with a Sharpie.
12
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:29,362
Oh, um,
just so you know,
13
00:00:29,362 --> 00:00:30,330
I won't be home
for dinner tonight.
14
00:00:30,330 --> 00:00:32,332
I gotta check out
a used car
I found online.
15
00:00:32,332 --> 00:00:34,134
Oh, can't you
do that another time?
16
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:37,303
It's been 2 weeks
since you've had
a home‐cooked meal.
17
00:00:37,303 --> 00:00:40,140
The frozen lasagnas
are gonna expire.
18
00:00:40,140 --> 00:00:43,710
I'm sorry, Mom,
but this is the only car
I can afford right now.
19
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,445
Everything else
is out of my reach.
20
00:00:45,445 --> 00:00:48,481
Including
the brake pedals.
21
00:00:48,481 --> 00:00:50,416
Mom, I met
this girl at school.
22
00:00:50,416 --> 00:00:51,317
Her name's Becca.
23
00:00:51,317 --> 00:00:54,254
She invited me to have
dinner at her house.
24
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:55,055
Oh, a new buddy.
25
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:56,757
Now you'll have
somebody to talk to
26
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:59,125
behind the refreshment table
at school dances.
27
00:00:59,125 --> 00:01:02,629
It is so cute
how you pretend to know
28
00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:05,699
what the inside
of a school dance
looks like.
29
00:01:05,699 --> 00:01:08,569
Bye, sweetie.
Have a good day.
30
00:01:08,569 --> 00:01:09,335
Good‐bye.
31
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:10,837
You know,
I don't really know
32
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:13,206
why I care
whether you have dinner
with us or not.
33
00:01:13,206 --> 00:01:14,407
You kids
are always bickering.
34
00:01:14,407 --> 00:01:16,376
What happened to
our tight‐knit family?
35
00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:18,845
Well, you divorced Dad,
went through a mid‐life crisis,
36
00:01:18,845 --> 00:01:20,614
shacked up with a guy
young enough to be‐‐
37
00:01:20,614 --> 00:01:23,283
Rhetorical!
38
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,319
Morning, Fran.
39
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,354
Good morning. Oh!
40
00:01:28,354 --> 00:01:32,325
You wonder why
I don't wanna
eat around here.
41
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,595
So, can you believe it?
42
00:01:34,595 --> 00:01:36,597
What?
43
00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:38,431
It's our
first anniversary.
44
00:01:38,431 --> 00:01:41,201
Oh, our first anniversary.
45
00:01:41,201 --> 00:01:42,503
Of what?
46
00:01:42,503 --> 00:01:46,507
Frannie, one year ago
today, I moved in
and joined your family.
47
00:01:46,507 --> 00:01:48,775
Oh, of course.
I remember that.
48
00:01:48,775 --> 00:01:50,176
No, I thought that
you were talking about
49
00:01:50,176 --> 00:01:53,547
the time that we...
Were at, uh...
50
00:01:53,547 --> 00:01:55,816
Oh, I got nothing.
51
00:01:55,816 --> 00:01:57,618
Don't worry
about it, babe.
52
00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,853
It's just a silly thing
to remember anyway.
53
00:01:59,853 --> 00:02:03,489
Hey, listen,
if 4 dozen roses
show up later,
54
00:02:03,489 --> 00:02:05,859
it's only 'cause
I love Fridays.
55
00:02:05,859 --> 00:02:06,660
Oh.
56
00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:09,863
Okay? See you later.
Okay, love you.
57
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:12,132
Love you, too.
58
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:20,607
Hey, Meryl.
It's cousin Fran.
59
00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:22,543
I forgot
our anniversary.
60
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:26,279
Oh, I feel so guilty. I'm a
terrible person.
61
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:29,616
I forget and he remembers.
62
00:02:29,616 --> 00:02:32,653
You know, that's just
the kind of guy
that Riley is.
63
00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:34,387
I mean,
he's very romantic.
64
00:02:34,387 --> 00:02:37,323
I mean, he remembers
the first date
we ever had.
65
00:02:37,323 --> 00:02:41,294
And the anniversary
of the first time
we slept together.
66
00:02:41,294 --> 00:02:42,529
Which is a little
bit of a cheat,
67
00:02:42,529 --> 00:02:45,532
because that was
the same night.
68
00:02:45,532 --> 00:02:47,668
Why is it
you do stuff like that,
and you get a boyfriend?
69
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:51,905
I do stuff like that,
and I get banned
from Shea Stadium.
70
00:02:51,905 --> 00:02:53,106
You know, I feel awful.
71
00:02:53,106 --> 00:02:56,943
I mean, this is
the day we decided
to commit to each other.
72
00:02:56,943 --> 00:02:58,078
How could I forget?
73
00:02:58,078 --> 00:03:01,648
Even my ex‐husband
Ted remembered
our anniversary.
74
00:03:01,648 --> 00:03:03,349
Every year,
like clockwork,
75
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:06,219
he would have
whatever secretary
he was doing
76
00:03:06,219 --> 00:03:07,788
buy me
something beautiful.
77
00:03:07,788 --> 00:03:11,625
Well, it's Riley's own fault.
He could've dropped you a hint.
78
00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:14,460
Like when
I was gettin' ready
to ask Dennis for a divorce,
79
00:03:14,460 --> 00:03:15,696
I starTed
saying things like,
80
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:18,865
"Dennis, maybe you should
put all your stuff
in a suitcase."
81
00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:22,435
No, he shouldn't
have to drop me a hint.
82
00:03:22,435 --> 00:03:23,236
I should've remembered.
83
00:03:23,236 --> 00:03:24,838
That's like
having to tell somebody
84
00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:28,842
to complement you
on your new blouse.
85
00:03:31,578 --> 00:03:34,280
That's like
having to tell someone
86
00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,481
to complement you...
87
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:37,417
Oh, my God!
Is that your new blouse?
88
00:03:37,417 --> 00:03:38,819
It's gorgeous!
89
00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,987
Forget it.
90
00:03:40,987 --> 00:03:43,456
I'm sorry.
I'm a terrible cousin.
91
00:03:43,456 --> 00:03:46,860
Look, you gotta do something
to make it up to him.
92
00:03:46,860 --> 00:03:47,761
You know what?
93
00:03:47,761 --> 00:03:50,330
I'm gonna do something
that I haven't done
94
00:03:50,330 --> 00:03:52,733
since the night
he moved in.
95
00:03:52,733 --> 00:03:57,303
I thought you said
that grossed you out.
96
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:01,041
I meant cook.
97
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:03,544
I know.
98
00:04:03,844 --> 00:04:05,011
What're you gonna make?
99
00:04:05,011 --> 00:04:08,549
Lobster tetrazzini,
just like I made
on the first night.
100
00:04:08,549 --> 00:04:13,453
You're telling me
you put 2 live creatures
in a pot of boiling water?
101
00:04:13,453 --> 00:04:15,321
You know,
it wasn't so hard
102
00:04:15,321 --> 00:04:16,389
when you
name one Ted,
103
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:19,292
and one
"You cheating
bastard, Ted."
104
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:23,964
♪ And I ♪
105
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,399
♪ Feel beautiful
right now ♪
106
00:04:26,399 --> 00:04:29,369
♪ For the first time
in a long time ♪
107
00:04:29,369 --> 00:04:31,972
♪ I'm letting my hair down ♪
108
00:04:31,972 --> 00:04:33,940
♪ And life ♪
109
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:36,510
♪ Gets better every day ♪
110
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:39,345
♪ Though it seems
so complicaTed ♪
111
00:04:39,345 --> 00:04:40,681
♪ We're gonna work it out ♪
112
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:42,716
♪ Whatever comes our way ♪
113
00:04:51,858 --> 00:04:53,359
Ha!
114
00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:54,828
What's all this?
115
00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:58,799
Happy anniversary.
116
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:03,103
I'm making
lobster tetrazzini,
remember?
117
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:06,607
Yeah, but
what's even better
is that you did.
118
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,909
We have the house
all to ourselves.
119
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:12,412
And all we're
gonna do is eat?
120
00:05:12,412 --> 00:05:14,047
We'll eat fast.
121
00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:18,484
Sit down in your chair.
I'm gonna bring you
some champagne.
122
00:05:18,484 --> 00:05:20,554
No. You know,
you cooked all day.
123
00:05:20,554 --> 00:05:22,589
I'm gonna serve you.
124
00:05:22,589 --> 00:05:25,358
Oh, that is so sweet.
125
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:30,897
The last man
that waited on me
was...a waiter.
126
00:05:38,071 --> 00:05:41,107
Hey, mom,
I'm home for dinner.
You happy now?
127
00:05:41,107 --> 00:05:42,643
No.
128
00:05:42,643 --> 00:05:44,645
This is my friend Becca.
Hi.
129
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:45,378
Oh, how do you do?
130
00:05:45,378 --> 00:05:47,413
I thought you were
having dinner
131
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:48,649
at Becca's
house tonight.
132
00:05:48,649 --> 00:05:49,583
Well, we would have,
133
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,384
but it's not a good
night at Becca's house.
134
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:52,686
Yeah, my mother
just lost her estrogen patch,
135
00:05:52,686 --> 00:05:56,957
and dad won't
come out of the bathroom
until she gets a new one.
136
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,459
I told her you'd be
completely cool
with us eating here.
137
00:05:59,459 --> 00:06:02,395
I mean, especially after
that gigantic guilt trip
138
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:03,496
you sent me on
this morning.
139
00:06:03,496 --> 00:06:04,865
Oh, sweetie, I know.
I'm sorry.
140
00:06:04,865 --> 00:06:06,900
Champagne,
madame?
141
00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:16,577
Oh, my God!
You have a naked butler?
142
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,144
Excuse me.
143
00:06:18,144 --> 00:06:21,114
That's Riley,
my mom's boyfriend.
144
00:06:21,114 --> 00:06:23,884
I like the way
you roll.
145
00:06:23,884 --> 00:06:25,552
Yeah.
146
00:06:25,552 --> 00:06:28,655
Hey, guys.
Mom, what's for dinner?
147
00:06:28,655 --> 00:06:31,858
Uh, too many people.
148
00:06:32,092 --> 00:06:34,060
Your brother's a babe.
149
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:36,697
So, is he gonna
take his shirt off, too?
150
00:06:36,697 --> 00:06:38,732
Here, kids.
Here's money.
151
00:06:38,732 --> 00:06:43,604
All 3 of you,
go to the food court,
buy food.
152
00:06:44,605 --> 00:06:47,040
Well, that was
a little awkward.
153
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,143
Oh, Riley,
this is my friend Becca.
154
00:06:50,143 --> 00:06:51,011
Good to
see you again.
155
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:51,978
Yeah.
156
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:56,082
You'll probably be
seeing me around here a lot.
157
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,785
Well, kids,
you know, ordinarily
158
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,554
we would love
to have you for dinner,
159
00:07:00,554 --> 00:07:01,522
but it turns out
that Riley and I
160
00:07:01,522 --> 00:07:03,123
are celebrating
our one year anniversary,
161
00:07:03,123 --> 00:07:06,560
so get lost.
162
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:09,896
Fran, why don't we
all just celebrate
as a family?
163
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,031
Go ahead,
sit down, guys.
164
00:07:11,031 --> 00:07:12,465
Oh, all right.
165
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:18,038
Well, I guess I'll go
defrost some lasagnas.
166
00:07:18,038 --> 00:07:19,205
(doorbell rings)
167
00:07:19,205 --> 00:07:20,907
Doorbell!
168
00:07:20,907 --> 00:07:22,142
Oh, honey,
I'm sorry,
169
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,577
but it's
not my fault.
170
00:07:23,577 --> 00:07:24,878
I told the kids
that they should
171
00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:26,513
have dinner
with us more often,
172
00:07:26,513 --> 00:07:28,749
and they picked
tonight to
listen to me.
173
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:30,717
I'm sure it'll
never happen again.
174
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:32,185
(doorbell rings)
175
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,854
Hey, I'm
feeding you people.
176
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:37,190
Can you get
the freakin' door?
177
00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:40,493
Frannie, it's ok,
it'll still be special.
178
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:43,630
Just as long
as we have
dessert in private.
179
00:07:43,630 --> 00:07:48,134
Oh, but I didn't
make dessert‐‐oh.
180
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:52,606
Oh, you are bad.
181
00:07:52,606 --> 00:07:56,142
You are bad.
You're‐‐
182
00:07:56,242 --> 00:07:57,043
Ted?!
183
00:07:57,043 --> 00:08:00,080
Oh, Daddy just
dropped off my laptop.
184
00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,649
I invited him
to stay for dinner.
Hope it's okay.
185
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:07,220
Hello, you two.
Come on, join us,
why don't you?
186
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,254
Ted, Ted!
187
00:08:08,254 --> 00:08:12,526
That champagne
is for Riley's
and my anniversary.
188
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,594
Mmm.
189
00:08:13,594 --> 00:08:15,662
And it is delicious.
190
00:08:15,662 --> 00:08:17,631
Ha! Well,
what do you know?
191
00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:20,834
It's older
than your boyfriend.
192
00:08:21,868 --> 00:08:23,303
Why don't we just
go out for dinner?
193
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:25,739
I mean,
I cooked this meal.
How good can it be?
194
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:29,643
By the way,
that's Riley's seat.
195
00:08:29,643 --> 00:08:30,744
It's okay, Fran.
196
00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:32,245
Oh, seems like
once again
197
00:08:32,245 --> 00:08:34,748
I've gotten somewhere
before you.
198
00:08:34,748 --> 00:08:39,319
So, Josh,
how'd things go at
the video store today?
199
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,187
Sell any goobers?
200
00:08:41,187 --> 00:08:44,124
Dad, I know
you're disappoinTed at me
201
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,626
for dropping out
of medical school,
202
00:08:45,626 --> 00:08:47,828
but, hey, I can still
follow in your footsteps.
203
00:08:47,828 --> 00:08:50,697
Like when I have a son,
I'll coach his soccer team
204
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:54,200
and call him Tinkerbell.
205
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,102
So, Josh, how's
the car search going?
206
00:08:56,102 --> 00:09:01,007
Great. I located
a '68 mustang online.
207
00:09:01,007 --> 00:09:02,242
$5,000.
208
00:09:02,242 --> 00:09:06,112
Does it snap together,
or do you use glue?
209
00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:08,181
It said
it's in mint condition.
210
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:09,115
You should
let me check it out.
211
00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:12,586
I've got experience
with older, used rides.
212
00:09:12,586 --> 00:09:16,022
Well, yeah‐‐
Just eat.
213
00:09:19,693 --> 00:09:22,128
Thank you, Riley,
but I don't need
214
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:26,166
my mom's boyfriend
to help me pick out a car.
215
00:09:26,166 --> 00:09:27,067
I'm a grown man.
216
00:09:27,067 --> 00:09:30,236
Incidentally,
I need my bar mitzvah money.
217
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,005
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
218
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,641
I didn't spend it.
219
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,177
Mom, Becca and I
want to go
220
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:38,344
to this anime movie
tomorrow night,
221
00:09:38,344 --> 00:09:42,082
so I was thinking
maybe we could
make it a girl's night.
222
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,249
Oh.
223
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,185
You know, you can
buy the tickets
224
00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:47,320
and then, like, leave.
225
00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,155
What's it about?
226
00:09:49,155 --> 00:09:50,090
Oh, um,
I don't know.
227
00:09:50,090 --> 00:09:51,892
It's called
Ghost Lover.
It's a cartoon.
228
00:09:51,892 --> 00:09:54,127
It's not just a cartoon.
I read about it.
229
00:09:54,127 --> 00:09:57,798
It's like Casper,
only he's anatomically correct
230
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:00,767
and can do it
through walls.
231
00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,202
So many kids from school
are going.
232
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:06,072
Well, then,
the other kids
can tell you all about it.
233
00:10:06,372 --> 00:10:07,173
Oh, nonsense.
234
00:10:07,173 --> 00:10:09,242
She's old enough.
I'll take her.
235
00:10:09,242 --> 00:10:11,211
Fran, I don't think
it's a good idea.
236
00:10:11,211 --> 00:10:12,145
Oh, it's okay.
237
00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:14,280
I mean, her father's
gonna chaperone her.
238
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,348
It's just a cartoon.
239
00:10:15,348 --> 00:10:16,382
She'll be all right.
240
00:10:16,382 --> 00:10:20,053
She got through
Little Mermaid
without injury.
241
00:10:20,053 --> 00:10:21,054
Oh, thanks, Daddy.
242
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:23,223
Well, I guess
that's settled.
243
00:10:23,223 --> 00:10:27,861
Oh, Riley, don't worry.
You can go, too.
244
00:10:27,861 --> 00:10:29,329
Fran will
get the ticket.
245
00:10:29,329 --> 00:10:32,298
One child, one senior.
246
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:33,567
Oh, bloody hell!
247
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:36,903
What the devil
just spilled on my leg?
248
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:41,207
Oh, good girl, Esther.
249
00:10:42,876 --> 00:10:47,380
Happy anniversary.
250
00:10:48,915 --> 00:10:51,785
Good night.
251
00:10:52,385 --> 00:10:54,254
Well, wait a minute.
252
00:10:54,254 --> 00:10:58,191
You haven't had
your dessert yet.
253
00:10:58,358 --> 00:10:59,826
I guess
I'm not in the mood.
254
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:01,895
We'll talk about it
in the morning.
255
00:11:01,895 --> 00:11:03,329
What? Why?
256
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:06,232
That is so gentile of you.
257
00:11:06,232 --> 00:11:08,201
You really wanna know
what my problem is?
258
00:11:08,201 --> 00:11:09,135
Yes, I do.
259
00:11:09,135 --> 00:11:11,137
Tonight, you basically
told the whole family
260
00:11:11,137 --> 00:11:14,040
I have no more
say around here
than the new dog.
261
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:16,109
What are you
talking about?
262
00:11:16,109 --> 00:11:17,944
Who am I
around here, Fran?
263
00:11:17,944 --> 00:11:19,713
It's not my house.
These aren't my kids.
264
00:11:19,713 --> 00:11:22,115
Ted comes in,
I don't even
have a chair.
265
00:11:22,115 --> 00:11:24,284
You know, before
I moved in here,
I had a life.
266
00:11:24,284 --> 00:11:27,788
I wasn't just
"mom's boyfriend,"
as Josh calls me.
267
00:11:27,788 --> 00:11:33,426
It's better than
"he himbo doing
the mommy limbo."
268
00:11:33,426 --> 00:11:34,360
He really said that?
269
00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:40,233
Well, it was really
kind of part of a song.
270
00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,036
Well, if it bothered you
so much,
271
00:11:43,036 --> 00:11:45,839
why didn't you
say something?
272
00:11:45,839 --> 00:11:48,909
You know, what is it
with you people
from the midwest?
273
00:11:48,909 --> 00:11:49,976
You keep everything
locked inside.
274
00:11:49,976 --> 00:11:54,347
No wonder your arteries
are popping left and right.
275
00:11:55,081 --> 00:11:56,282
I spoke up, Fran.
276
00:11:56,282 --> 00:11:58,251
I said Allison shouldn't
go to the movie.
277
00:11:58,251 --> 00:11:59,352
You totally ignored me.
278
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,822
Oh, that had nothing
to do with you.
279
00:12:01,822 --> 00:12:04,157
It was a family thing.
280
00:12:04,157 --> 00:12:07,327
Oh, sweetie, sweetie,
I didn't mean that.
281
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:10,531
Yes, you did.
You know, Fran,
282
00:12:10,531 --> 00:12:11,364
Josh never
wanted me here.
283
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,599
Allison doesn't
take me seriously.
284
00:12:12,599 --> 00:12:15,902
I know you love me,
but if I'm not
part of your family,
285
00:12:15,902 --> 00:12:17,904
what's my place here?
286
00:12:20,373 --> 00:12:21,307
Oh, God.
287
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:23,409
If I knew I was going
to lose that argument,
288
00:12:23,409 --> 00:12:26,346
I would've let him sleep.
289
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,921
Oh, Meryl, I've never
seen him this upset before.
290
00:12:34,921 --> 00:12:38,158
He said that he doesn't
know how he fits
into this family.
291
00:12:38,158 --> 00:12:39,926
Mmm. Well, he does
kind of stick out‐‐
292
00:12:39,926 --> 00:12:43,063
Jew, Jew, him, Jew.
293
00:12:43,063 --> 00:12:45,465
Oh, I've got
such a headache.
294
00:12:45,465 --> 00:12:46,733
He wants to fit in.
295
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:50,937
I mean, it'd be different
if you were married
or even engaged.
296
00:12:50,937 --> 00:12:54,174
What, are you working
for my mother?
297
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,210
Riley and I
discussed it.
298
00:12:57,210 --> 00:13:00,180
We don't want
to rush into anything.
299
00:13:00,180 --> 00:13:01,314
I'm just going to have
to tell the kids
300
00:13:01,314 --> 00:13:05,952
that they have to start
listening to him,
that's all.
301
00:13:07,453 --> 00:13:08,454
What's wrong?
302
00:13:08,454 --> 00:13:13,059
Oh, those pills, they tasted
a little like liver.
303
00:13:13,059 --> 00:13:16,029
What's the expiration date
on that? I can't read it.
304
00:13:16,029 --> 00:13:20,166
Fran, these are
canine tranquilizers.
305
00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:27,173
Oh, no. Those are
Esther's doggie downers?
306
00:13:27,173 --> 00:13:28,141
Oh.
307
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,142
I'm not going
to worry about it.
308
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:30,410
She's only 3 1/2 pounds.
309
00:13:30,410 --> 00:13:33,914
I mean, it's highly
unlikely that I'm going
to get a reaction.
310
00:13:33,914 --> 00:13:35,481
Oy.
311
00:13:37,984 --> 00:13:40,587
You better call Riley.
312
00:13:40,587 --> 00:13:42,589
I got your message.
What happened?
How is she?
313
00:13:42,589 --> 00:13:45,291
Well, she got a headache,
and she thought
she took aspirin,
314
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,326
but she wasn't
wearing her glasses
315
00:13:46,326 --> 00:13:48,962
because she couldn't remember
where she hid them.
316
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:51,565
She wears glasses?
317
00:13:52,332 --> 00:13:54,434
No.
318
00:13:55,035 --> 00:13:57,470
The point is,
she took these.
319
00:13:57,470 --> 00:14:00,173
Oh, no.
The doggy downers?
320
00:14:00,173 --> 00:14:01,575
Yeah. I called the doctor,
321
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:05,478
and he said she'd be ok
once she slept it off.
322
00:14:05,478 --> 00:14:07,280
Fran, are you ok?
323
00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:11,217
Gee, you're handsome.
324
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:18,391
But, you know, I have
a boyfriend that I love
very, very much.
325
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:25,098
That's why I told him
that I was one year
younger than I am.
326
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:26,132
Shh.
327
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:29,269
Franny, baby?
328
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:33,339
Okay, 2 years.
329
00:14:33,339 --> 00:14:34,908
Riley, are you
going to be okay?
330
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:37,210
Because I left
my daughter to baby‐sit
the little one,
331
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:38,211
and now
I got to go home
332
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:41,314
and pull her boyfriend's
tongue out of her mouth.
333
00:14:41,314 --> 00:14:43,650
Bye, Cassie.
334
00:14:43,650 --> 00:14:44,685
Heh heh.
335
00:14:44,685 --> 00:14:47,087
All right, come on.
336
00:14:47,087 --> 00:14:48,589
Let's get you
upstairs.
337
00:14:48,589 --> 00:14:51,057
Okay.
(mutters)
338
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,659
I was almost arrested.
339
00:14:52,659 --> 00:14:54,961
What?
340
00:14:58,632 --> 00:14:59,733
What happened?
341
00:14:59,733 --> 00:15:02,202
You know, that car
that I got that was
such a steal?
342
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:05,171
That's because
it was a stolen car.
343
00:15:05,539 --> 00:15:08,474
I should've known
I couldn't get a '68 Mustang
344
00:15:08,474 --> 00:15:09,475
for bar mitzvah money.
345
00:15:09,475 --> 00:15:13,213
Oh, that's okay. I only
gave you half the money.
346
00:15:13,213 --> 00:15:16,249
The rest we invested
in macrosoft.
347
00:15:16,249 --> 00:15:18,051
You mean Microsoft?
348
00:15:18,051 --> 00:15:21,121
You wish.
349
00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:23,256
Is she okay?
350
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,192
Yes. She just took
some doggy downers.
351
00:15:26,192 --> 00:15:26,893
(laughs)
352
00:15:26,893 --> 00:15:29,095
She wasn't wearing
her glasses.
353
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,397
So, she does
wear glasses.
354
00:15:31,397 --> 00:15:34,000
No.
355
00:15:38,539 --> 00:15:41,975
All right, let's get you
back to the couch, babe.
356
00:15:41,975 --> 00:15:45,411
Okay.
Hee hee hee hee!
357
00:15:45,411 --> 00:15:48,148
All right, I'm going
to lay you here.
358
00:15:48,148 --> 00:15:49,182
Oh, no, we can't.
359
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:54,187
Josh walked in
on me and Ted once
when he was 11,
360
00:15:54,187 --> 00:15:58,258
and he never got
any taller.
361
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,261
Babe...
362
00:16:01,261 --> 00:16:03,764
I meant I'm going
to lay you down
on the couch
363
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:05,065
while Josh and I talk.
364
00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:07,634
Oh, that's so sweet
to talk to him
365
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:10,203
when he hates you.
366
00:16:10,203 --> 00:16:12,038
Mom!
367
00:16:12,272 --> 00:16:14,274
Babe, just relax,
okay? Mmm.
368
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,342
Take a little nap.
369
00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,244
I don't hate you,
Riley.
370
00:16:18,244 --> 00:16:20,280
Yes, you do.
371
00:16:21,247 --> 00:16:23,584
Look, I had just dropped out
of medical school,
372
00:16:23,584 --> 00:16:25,218
and I knew my mom
had made some changes,
373
00:16:25,218 --> 00:16:26,419
but I didn't expect
to find‐‐
374
00:16:26,419 --> 00:16:31,224
The himbo doing
the mommy limbo?
375
00:16:31,558 --> 00:16:32,693
Riley, you got
to believe me.
376
00:16:32,693 --> 00:16:36,663
It is much catchier
when you hear it sung.
377
00:16:37,531 --> 00:16:39,099
And thanks, Mom.
378
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,502
I just don't think
your mom's home
right now.
379
00:16:41,502 --> 00:16:44,771
Oh, I'll go get her.
380
00:16:46,740 --> 00:16:48,441
Give me a hand,
would you?
381
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:50,777
Hey, honey?
Come up, now.
382
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,478
Sit up.
There you go.
383
00:16:52,478 --> 00:16:56,249
Where'd the floor
come from?
384
00:16:57,317 --> 00:17:00,253
Hey, Josh, how about
we find you another car?
385
00:17:00,253 --> 00:17:01,555
I'll take you
where I got my truck.
386
00:17:01,555 --> 00:17:03,356
I can even lend you
the down payment.
387
00:17:03,356 --> 00:17:06,627
Really? You'd do that
for me, Riley?
388
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:07,761
Sure.
389
00:17:07,761 --> 00:17:09,029
Well, thanks.
390
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:12,165
But I think I'm actually
going to borrow the money
from my dad.
391
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,433
That way if I can't
pay him back‐‐
392
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,268
well, he already thinks
I'm a loser,
393
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:17,671
and you and I
have to live together.
394
00:17:17,671 --> 00:17:18,672
(laughs)
395
00:17:18,672 --> 00:17:19,806
Oh, now, you see?
396
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:24,144
That's what
I'm talking about.
397
00:17:24,144 --> 00:17:25,345
Okay.
398
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,247
And for the record,
399
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:28,649
I wasn't 11,
I was 16,
400
00:17:28,649 --> 00:17:31,552
and you told me
it was just a dream.
401
00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,291
Uhh!
402
00:17:38,291 --> 00:17:39,693
You're not going
to believe this.
403
00:17:39,693 --> 00:17:40,694
I couldn't go
to the movie,
404
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:43,697
because dad had an emergency
surgery to perform.
405
00:17:43,697 --> 00:17:46,132
You know, I was married
to your father.
406
00:17:46,132 --> 00:17:50,270
Nothing good
came out of it.
407
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:53,206
Ohh. Hello?
408
00:17:53,206 --> 00:17:55,208
She doesn't mean you,
Allison.
409
00:17:55,208 --> 00:17:57,443
She took some
dog pills by accident.
410
00:17:57,443 --> 00:17:59,212
Fine. Well, I'm going
to call Becca,
411
00:17:59,212 --> 00:18:02,115
ask if her dad will take us
to see Ghost Lover.
412
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:06,787
Oh, that's ok.
I'll drive you.
413
00:18:06,787 --> 00:18:09,422
Allison, you're not
going to the movie.
414
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,291
What? My dad
was fine with it.
415
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,493
Well, your dad's
not here right now,
416
00:18:13,493 --> 00:18:14,828
and I'm saying no.
417
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:16,530
Can you do that?
418
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:17,864
I think I just did.
419
00:18:17,864 --> 00:18:18,799
Mommy...
420
00:18:18,799 --> 00:18:20,433
Let this be
a lesson to you.
421
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:21,768
Your father
will always flake out,
422
00:18:21,768 --> 00:18:28,341
but Riley will be here
to tell you you can't go.
423
00:18:31,678 --> 00:18:33,747
So, we're straight?
No movie?
424
00:18:33,747 --> 00:18:36,416
You're not my father.
Why do you even care?
425
00:18:36,416 --> 00:18:37,751
Just 'cause I do, ok?
426
00:18:37,751 --> 00:18:41,287
Just 'cause he does.
427
00:18:42,355 --> 00:18:43,657
Fine.
You know what?
428
00:18:43,657 --> 00:18:44,925
My mother is divorced.
429
00:18:44,925 --> 00:18:46,860
She's dating a guy
half her age.
430
00:18:46,860 --> 00:18:47,928
She's popping pills,
431
00:18:47,928 --> 00:18:50,564
and you're worried
a cartoon's going
to mess me up?
432
00:18:50,564 --> 00:18:52,432
Have a good night.
433
00:19:02,676 --> 00:19:05,846
You know,
she has a point.
434
00:19:08,749 --> 00:19:11,585
Hey, Riley, I'm going
to a concert on Friday
435
00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,453
with Becca and her parents,
if that's all right
with you,
436
00:19:13,453 --> 00:19:19,225
o' great master and commander
of 1342 Willow Glen Circle.
437
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:21,361
Sure, as long as I can
talk to them first.
438
00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:26,600
So it shall be done,
mighty, mighty pharaoh.
439
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:29,269
Later, Lassie.
440
00:19:29,269 --> 00:19:30,704
(laughs)
441
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:34,575
Well, you two
seem to be getting along.
442
00:19:34,575 --> 00:19:37,944
I should get doped up
more often.
443
00:19:37,944 --> 00:19:39,680
Oh, look,
Mom's awake.
444
00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:41,715
Yes, she is.
445
00:19:41,715 --> 00:19:43,650
Yes, she is.
446
00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:45,318
We got to hit
the road, Riley.
447
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:47,220
I found a white cabriolet
convertible.
448
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:51,858
Oh. Are you
living in the dorms
this year, Debbie?
449
00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,460
See, this is why
you're coming with me.
450
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:55,361
I'll meet you
in the truck.
451
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:56,630
You bet.
452
00:19:56,630 --> 00:20:00,300
Ha ha.
Well, look at you,
453
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,335
all smiles,
454
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:04,571
being part of the family.
455
00:20:04,571 --> 00:20:07,273
You got
what you wanted.
456
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:09,475
Happy anniversary.
457
00:20:09,475 --> 00:20:10,511
Mmm.
458
00:20:10,511 --> 00:20:12,879
I got you something,
too, babe.
459
00:20:12,879 --> 00:20:15,015
Ooh!
460
00:20:15,015 --> 00:20:18,018
Will I look sexy
wearing it?
461
00:20:18,018 --> 00:20:20,420
I think so.
462
00:20:21,254 --> 00:20:24,390
Glasses.
463
00:20:25,325 --> 00:20:29,495
What's for Christmas,
a hearing aid?
464
00:20:29,495 --> 00:20:31,431
How'd you know
I needed glasses?
465
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:34,668
Well, yesterday
my orange juice
was egg beaters.
466
00:20:34,668 --> 00:20:35,769
Oh.
467
00:20:35,769 --> 00:20:37,504
Then you took
doggy downers
for your headache.
468
00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:38,672
I figured
I'd give you these
469
00:20:38,672 --> 00:20:40,907
before you gargled
tidy bowl.
470
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:43,677
Well, thank you.
471
00:20:43,677 --> 00:20:44,678
How do I look?
472
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:47,614
Let's just say
I'm hot for teacher.
473
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,282
Ha ha ha ha!
474
00:20:52,886 --> 00:20:54,621
Captioned by The National
Captioning Institute
33733
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
