Original subtitles

♪ The lawns are all green in suburbia

♪ Dogs will get walked in suburbia

♪ Trash is carted weekly in suburbia

♪ The mail comes on time in suburbia

♪ It's a place you can go

♪ And have a happy home

♪ Mother's always at home in suburbia

♪ Keeps her children well in suburbia

♪ Her kids play ball until dinnertime

♪ Then run home to the sound of the dinner chime

♪ It's a place you can go

♪ And have a happy home

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ It's a place you an go

♪ And have a happy home

♪ The change is in the air

♪ It's strange and haunting here

♪ Please tell me, Mother

♪ Why do you stare

♪ Nothing can go wrong in suburbia

♪ The sun shines in suburbia

♪ It's only happy families in suburbia

♪ Living happily ever after in suburbia

♪ It's a place you can go

♪ And have a happy home

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ It's a place you can go

♪ And have a happy home

♪ Gonna go to suburbia

♪ Take me to suburbia

Boy, do I miss this.

We just did it yesterday.

Did you forget so soon?

No, of course not.

It's just that, um-

- I know, you miss it from your wife.

Me?

Well, isn't it true?

I mean, it's obvious to me

that you two haven't had sex in a long time, Roddy.

We, we haven't had good sex.

- Well that's all right with me, any time.

What time is it?

Oh, it's early yet.

I have to go.

You don't have to go.

George is in Kenya shooting elephants

and little Brad's still in school.

- I know, but Sylvia's due home from the dry cleaner

right about now.

- Well tell her what ya told her yesterday,

that you've been out jogging.

- Yes, but I also have some work to catch up on.

- Well, you're home so often, I forget you have to work.

- Well, that's the beauty of freelancing.

Way to go Mr. Douglas.

Rinaldi!

Oh, shit.

Rinaldi!

Rinaldi!

Are you having fun up there?

- No, Ma, I'm not having any fun.

- I don't want you having any fun.

You have been suspended from school

and you're punished!

- Mom, how much fun could I possibly have locked in my room?

I hope you're hungry,

'cause you ain't eatin' tonight,

and you know I mean it!

Believe me, Mom, I know.

- You're not eatin' tonight, Rinaldi!

Did you hear me?

Drop dead.

- What, what was that you said?

Is that any way to speak to your mother?

Anybody home?

- Doesn't anybody have the courtesy to knock anymore?

Sorry.

Just a habit.

- Yeah, well ya better break out of it soon.

And a call before you visit would be nice too.

How's Billy?

Fine, he's in school.

- You know, I've been thinking of having him stay with me

for a while.

Oh, there ya go again.

When do you stop?

- I'm only thinking of the kid, Lous.

For Christ's sakes, every time I see you, you're drunk!

How the hell do you think he feels?

He's happy with me, Clyde.

We don't need you.

Now give me the check and get out of my house.

- So why weren't you at the Women's Coalition Club

meeting this afternoon?

- Frankie didn't want me to go, said it was for dykes.

Oh.

Well the annual dinner's coming up soon,

everyone's mom's invited.

Sounds great.

Can I bring Frankie?

Watch this.

Yo, Nathan, think fast!

God!

Get off me, you big spaz!

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

You guys are assholes.

Is it my problem,

if he doesn't know how to catch a football?

You okay, Linda?

Yeah, I'm all right.

- You know you really shouldn't have spoken

to Jeff Nathan like that.

It really wasn't his fault.

Besides, he's cute.

Yeah.

But he's so strange.

Hi, Daddy.

- Hi, how's my little princess today?

Fine.

Can you help me with my trigonometry?

- Oh, I'd love to, honey, but not now.

Daddy's going jogging.

But later.

- You're not going jogging again, are you?

Why not?

A man's gotta stay in shape.

- Well you were just out this afternoon.

What about the blueprints?

Mr. Blahvolt wants 'em on his desk

first thing in the morning.

The blueprints, right.

I'll tell ya what, I'll just make it a quickie.

Hey, Mom.

Can we have some money for the ice cream man?

- Now you know how your father feels about junk food.

Oh, come on, Mom.

- Well, I suppose it'll be all right.

My purse is on top-

We know where it is.

Take out a dollar each.

Okay, thanks, Mom.

So how's Billy?

I don't know.

Lous wouldn't let me see him for the past couple weeks.

She's gotten worse, Lee, her drinkin', I mean.

I've gotta get Billy outta there.

- Isn't there something you can do?

- By law, nah, but I'm going out there later on

just to see the little tyke.

Come in.

What can I do for you, Commissioner?

Just making my rounds.

I wanna make sure everything is all right

in my organization.

Hello, Officer McCormick.

Commissioner Dixon.

- Drinking while on duty, huh, McCormick?

No, sir, I'm off duty.

And Dr. Grouty,

I take it you're not very busy today,

or are you lounging around on paid time?

- Actually, I'm just wrapping up.

Would you care to take a look?

That won't be necessary.

Well, I suppose I'll be going.

I'll write in my log that the town's coroner office

is a good prospect for the next police beer bash.

- I know I've been in this town such a short time,

but I don't think I will ever get used to Dixon.

I know what ya mean.

He was never the same after that accident.

Do you know how he lost that arm?

- Yeah, a hunting accident, wasn't it?

So he says.

What do you mean?

- A bear attacked him while he was on a hunting trip

with his wife.

He tried to shoot the bear,

but tripped and shot his wife instead.

And after that incident,

I went out to investigate the area.

There was no sign of a bear.

That is strange.

- You think that's strange?

Before you came along, there was another coroner,

he disappeared the next day.

Gone without a trace.

What are you getting at?

Maybe nothing.

Just keep this between you and me, Lee.

- I don't know what I'm gonna do about my son Rinaldi.

He was suspended from school again this week.

- What the boy needs is a father.

Anyone but his real father.

I don't want my son, Rinaldi, ending up like him,

in a state penitentiary.

But every time I look at the boy, that's exactly who I see,

his father.

- You worry too much for the boy, Rita.

I think Booty's right.

I mean, look at my Joyce.

She's never met her father, and she's doin' just fine.

But it's different for a boy.

Worry more about yourself.

Now tell me,

how's your sex life?

- Well there is someone in my life.

Who is it?

- Aren't you the kiss-and-tell type?

- Come on, Rita, tell us who it is.

I mean, it's nothing serious.

He is a married man.

Oh, all the more intriguing.

Okay, it's Roddy Douglas,

but don't let this get around.

- Oh my goodness, well, well.

- Well, he certainly gets around.

What do you mean by that?

- Joyce is a good friend of his daughter,

and one day after we both dropped them off at school,

well.

Did you shuffle this deck?

Yes.

Well shuffle it again.

- Hey, Linda, how ya doin', baby?

Fine.

What can I get for you dolls?

A Frozen Neptune for me.

Me, too.

- Two Frozen Neptunes coming right up.

So, uh, Joyce, what do ya say we cruise around a bit

in my truck?

You can come too, Linda.

- Oh, no, thanks, my mother's fixing dinner.

I gotta go.

You go ahead, Joyce.

- Ah, come on, I'll even let ya ring my bell.

Save it, Frankie.

Speaking of dinner,

you're coming with me to the Woman's Club Coalition Dinner,

aren't you?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm going.

Come on, get in.

Bye.

See ya later, Linda.

You're in the way!

Not again!

Asshole!

Ma!

What was it this time?

Why did he do it?

- Jeffrey, he wasn't making any sense, Jeffrey.

This is getting worse, we have to get away from here,

away from him.

- We can't, if I did that, he'd kill me.

Don't you understand how frightened I am.

Oh, Jeffrey, please don't let him hurt me.

- I won't let him hurt ya, Ma, I won't!

I won't.

Hi, Mom.

I'm home.

What's for dinner?

What is it?

I don't satisfy you anymore?

Of course you satisfy me.

It's just that...

Would you ever consider having an open marriage?

Oh my God.

- I realize it's kind of sudden, but, you know,

well statistically speaking,

I've been thinking about this for a long time.

Oh my God.

I'm so hungry.

You're what?

Have you heard what I said?

I'm starved!

- There goes Junior, right on cue.

- I knocked, so I don't wanna hear a damn word.

Hello, Lous, you home?

Billy!

Don't come near me!

What's the story, Hitchcock?

Well, Commissioner,

looks as though McCormick lost his mind.

What happened?

Shot Lois.

And the boy?

Oh my God.

I had to shoot her.

Don't ya see?

She would've eaten me, too.

How is he?

How you doin', Commissioner?

I think he's lost it.

Claims he caught his wife eatin' his kid.

Poor guy, he was a good cop.

Yeah.

You want us to arrest him now?

- There's nothing else for us to do.

Go ahead.

It was awful.

My God, what could've?

He was wearin' the new mitt I gave him.

Come on, Clyde.

Dixon's orders.

It's gonna be all right.

- Well we received both your blood and smear test back,

and there's no sign of syphilis or anything else.

You have nothing to worry about, Mr. Douglas.

Dr. Bass, that is reassuring.

Not that I thought anything was wrong,

but it doesn't hurt to check.

I know what you mean.

I have myself examined at least twice a week.

No kidding.

You must, uh, keep yourself pretty active.

I, uh, I know a few girls.

Say, um,

do they have any friends?

Sure.

You go right over to this address,

third door on the left, ask for Lucinda.

You tell 'em Big Dominick sent ya.

Nice clean girl.

Dr. Bass!

Ugh, good day, sir.

Dr. Bass.

Yes, Miss Cod.

- Um, the man who just left, Mr. Douglas.

Yes, what about him?

- Well, I was just examining his smear test,

and well, I saw something that, that I've never seen before.

What is it?

Well, I'm not exactly sure,

but it looked like some kind of strange virus.

- Miss Cod, is what you saw syphilis or gonorrhea?

No, it isn't, but, Doctor-

Then don't bother me.

You know we don't treat anything else.

Yes, Doctor.

Send in the next patient.

Are you okay?

Yes, yes.

Yes, I'm all right.

- Do you want me to call the police?

- No, no, he didn't mean anything.

- Let me take a look at that.

Well your nose isn't broken.

Hey, oh, what are these bruises?

Oh, nothing, it's nothing.

- Why does your husband act like this?

Oh, he doesn't mean to.

Things haven't been going well for him lately.

You wouldn't understand.

- What I don't understand is how anybody would want to harm

a pretty woman like yourself.

Come on, let me help ya into the house.

John's not coming home soon, is he?

Attention all units.

APB out on Officer Clyde McCormick.

Escaped from lockup after assaulting a police officer.

Suspect appears dangerous.

Approach with caution.

Clyde, my God, get in quick!

Listen, you just missed Commissioner Dixon by 15 minutes.

They took the bodies of your wife and son away

before I even had a chance to give them

a thorough examination.

Dixon, but why?

- Oh, with Dixon, who knows?

You already admitted.

- I had to shoot her, Lee.

Well, I know, Clyde,

and I know you had nothing to do with Billy's death.

You couldn't have, because-

- Lee, I walked into the bedroom,

and she was eating Billy alive, and she came after me.

I had no choice.

Holy shit!

I know this must sound crazy to you.

Not at all.

What do ya mean?

- Well, before Dixon had the bodies taken away,

I made a preliminary examination on both.

And?

Well it all checks out.

I found particles of Billy's flesh in her mouth,

in between her teeth, and,

oh, Clyde, I'm sorry.

Then you can help me.

Well I don't know,

but I managed to take a blood sample

and culture from the two.

It's not much, but it's something to work with.

Mom.

Hi, Mom.

What are you doing?

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy,

Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mommy.

Mother!

- I'm in the kitchen, sweetheart.

Thought you were on a diet.

So did I.

I don't know what's come over me since this afternoon.

Maybe you're pregnant.

Bite your tongue little girl.

- Well you can never be too sure.

Believe me, I'm sure.

- Hey, what are you wearing for the dinner tonight?

Is that tonight?

- Oh, Mother, don't tell me you forgot.

- Oh, sweetheart, I'm so sorry, but I have a date with Bill.

Bill?

Which one's Bill?

- Bill, the plumber, you remember.

- Yeah, well can't you go out with him another time?

I mean, everyone's mother's gonna be there tonight.

And besides, I want you to meet Frankie.

- Well, if it's that important to you,

I suppose I could.

Who's Frankie?

Frankie is a dream,

and I think he really likes me,

so I want you to be your best tonight.

And, Mother, please don't do anything

that would embarrass me.

- Oh, Joyce, what could I possibly do to embarrass you?

- Why don't you watch where you're going?

Hey, what are you doing around here?

What's the matter?

So, anyway, my mother still continues to take this abuse

from my dad.

I can't understand it myself.

I almost talked her into runnin' away with me once.

I came so close.

What happened?

- She decided she couldn't go through with it.

I've done all I could for her.

Now, if she's not gonna save herself,

I might as well pull out and save myself,

because it's not doing me one bit of good either.

So what's eating you?

Well.

For a start.

I saw my father kissing another woman.

I mean, he wasn't just kissing her.

He had his hands all over her.

That's pretty bad.

Not as bad as.

- What? - When I came home

from school this afternoon,

I saw my mother eating my baby brother.

No, wait, I'm not kidding.

Jeff, I'm serious.

Jeff, I really did see my mother eating my baby brother.

I'm not kidding!

Linda, you know,

sometimes when a person sees something unpleasant,

like your, you know-

- No. - Terrible, your, your mind.

- Man, I knew I shouldn't have told you.

Where are you going?

- I don't know, I mean, if I go to the police,

they won't believe me either.

- Look, I'm running away tonight.

I have to go home and get my stuff, and I'm gone.

Why don't you meet me somewhere?

- You're the last person I would've thought I'd be...

Okay.

What about the basketball courts?

- The basketball courts in a half hour.

Rinaldi, come and eat!

I'm not falling for it!

Don't be silly!

I made your favorite dish.

Mashed potatoes!

- What is it, the cockroaches in the mashed potatoes?

I'm not falling for it, Ma!

- Will you get your ass down here

before it gets cold?

Careful, it's hot.

- Why are you bein' so nice to me, Ma?

- Come on, you can sit in your favorite seat.

- Wow, I never thought you cared.

I put a lot of milk in,

because I know you like it extra creamy.

- Maybe it's a little too creamy.

But it's good, don't get me wrong, I ain't complainin'.

- Do you know how they make veal?

- You made veal too, Ma?

Where is it, in the oven?

- No, I didn't make any veal tonight.

I just wanna know if you know where veal comes from?

Calf meat, isn't it?

- Yes, calf meat, milk-fed, baby cows.

They take the baby, see, and they put it in this

small, cubicle type.

Who does?

The cattlemen, of course.

Why are you always interrupting?

Do you wanna go to your room?

No.

I'm sorry.

Go ahead.

- The calf is taken from the mother

and put in a small room,

so small that he can't move around, see?

So that his muscles can get real tender.

And they don't feed him anything but milk,

so that he's really soft by the time they kill him,

and so he's real delicate to eat.

- I like mine with Parmesan cheese.

- You like what with Parmesan cheese?

- Veal, that's what we're talkin' about, isn't it?

- Um, I want you to have a glass of milk with your meal.

You should always have a glass of milk with your meal.

- Okay, I'll have a glass of milk.

- More, you should always have more milk.

Have some more.

Okay, if it'll make ya happy,

I'll have another glass of milk.

Why are you looking at me like that?

You bitch!

That does it, Ma, this time I'm really runnin' away.

- The only thing he needs to make it

in this stinkin', scum-rotten world is to never grow up.

Jeffrey, come out here, Jeffrey.

Your old man has got some advice for you, son.

Let him alone!

He's got a lot of homework to do tonight.

Do you think I care?

Why should I care?

What did you ever do for me?

Huh, what?

Bitch, you fucked up my life.

- I fucked up your life?

Don't talk back to me.

That's right, you bitch, you fucked up my life.

You're the reason why I am where I am today, bitch.

That's bullshit.

Don't talk back to me.

- I can talk back to you anytime.

Is that right?

I'll break your mouth.

Mom, what happened?

Oh my God, Johnny!

This time I ain't comin' back.

I'm buildin' a shack down by the old railroad track

like Old Man Johnson.

She's talkin' veal.

I say you got any veal?

She says, "No, I ain't got no veal."

What the hell did I do to her anyway?

Hey, Rinaldi?

Is that you?

Who the hell is that?

Nathan, is that you?

- Hey, Rinaldi, man, what happened to your head?

My mother's on the rag again.

Your?

What is goin' on around here, man?

I don't blame her really.

It's all society's fault.

It's not just your mother.

When Linda came home from school today,

she says she saw her mother eating her baby brother,

and just now, look, I'm on my way to meet her.

I'll explain to ya on the way.

- Jeff, what's with the giant water rat?

You're pretty cute yourself.

- Look, Linda, I had to bring him along.

Listen, I believe what you told me before

about your mother.

Jeff, what happened?

My mother, she ate my father.

That's not all,

Mrs. Viverido tried to make a meal out of Rinaldi.

That's veal, chump.

Anyway, that's what I think she was tryin' to do,

but I'm not goin' back to find out.

I'm running away tonight.

I'm building a shed down by the railroad.

You two can come along.

I suppose I could make some room.

Hey, who's that?

Looks like Timmy Nolan.

Timmy, over here!

Yo, Timmy, over here!

My mother, she,

she just ate my brother.

Yeah, our mothers, too.

My mother ate your mothers?

No, my mother ate my father.

- She's never done anything like this before.

My mother ate my baby brother.

- Yeah, and we're fed up with it, too.

We're running away.

Do you wanna join us?

- Look, man, nobody's runnin' away.

Somethin' strange is happening here.

We just can't run out on it.

- What are we supposed to do, Nathan?

Sit around here and get our asses chewed out

by our mothers?

Look, I mean, Jeff's right.

At least we should stick around

and see what it's all about, right?

- Look, I think we're all responsible

for our own mother's actions, man.

We have to stop them before any more harm is done.

What if we can't?

I mean, my mother never had any respect for me before.

What makes you think I can stop her now?

- Look, Rinaldi, man, that's gonna be your problem.

This is strange.

What's that?

- This culture from your ex-wife.

What about it?

Well, I'm not really sure.

Something isn't right.

Was she seeing a doctor for anything

that you know of lately?

No, not that I know of, why?

- Well it's a strange sort of virus,

nothing I've ever seen before.

Get in the cabinet.

Hold your water.

Hold your water, hold your water.

Hello, Lee.

- What can I do for you, Commissioner?

- What do you think you can do for me?

- I haven't got time for games, Commissioner,

so why don't you state your business fast?

I have some work to do.

- Clyde McCormick has escaped from the police station.

Escaped, but how?

Cut the shit, Lee.

Where's Clyde?

How should I know?

You're his friend.

- Oh, he'd be crazy to come here.

- He just killed his ex-wife and his son.

I'd call that crazy.

- Oh, I made a strange discovery this evening

while examining routine culture tests on Mrs. McCormick.

I thought I told you not.

What sort of strange discovery?

- Well, I'm not sure, uh, but I'm looking at it now.

There, uh, care to take a look?

- No, I, uh, flunked Bio in high school.

- Well, in any case, I'm, uh, I'm having it checked out

by the Board of Health as soon as possible.

That won't be necessary.

Why not?

- I mean, sure, go ahead, have it looked at.

You can't ever be too careful, right?

- Right, that's what I always say.

Hmm, yeah.

Meanwhile, there's a maniac on the loose.

We're talking about a dangerous man here.

If Clyde shows up, don't hesitate to call me.

Right.

He's gone.

Yeah, and so are your files.

That was impressive.

Without them, we have no evidence.

You leave that to me.

But Clyde, it's too dangerous.

I have nothing else to lose.

- Hey, all right, but be careful.

Meanwhile, I'll pay Dr. Bass a visit.

Since I extracted the virus

from you ex-wife's vaginal pathway,

maybe he'll know something about it.

A virus you say?

Totally alien to me.

I brought along a sample.

I think you should take a look.

- Well, Dr. Grouty, I'm a very busy man.

Leave the sample here,

I'll look at it first thing in the morning.

- Dr. Bass, I think you should consider

looking at it sooner.

I'm sure it's nothing, Grouty.

I'll look at it first thing in the morning.

And in the future,

I think you should stick to dissecting cadavers,

and leave diseases for the Board of Health to worry about,

huh?

Dr. Grouty.

Yes.

- I'm nurse, um, Felicia Cod, and, uh,

I couldn't help overhearing your conversation with,

with, um, Dr. Bass.

This sample was it,

was it like a strange virus?

Yes.

- But, but I made the same discovery, just the other day,

while testing a patient's blood sample.

Did you tell Dr. Bass?

- When I tried to tell the good doctor,

he reacted pretty much the same way he just did with you.

- Do you remember the name of this patient?

Yes.

Roddy Douglas.

Oh, thank, thank you, Felicia.

- I don't know what this is all about,

but I get off, um, in a half an hour,

so, well, I'd just do anything to help.

- I'll need all the help I can get.

- You know, Biff, I finally shot my dog.

Really, was he mad?

- Well, he wasn't too happy.

Crazy white man.

Yeah.

- My mother's around here someplace.

Would you look at that, Ethel?

Isn't that Joyce Shepard's mother?

Where are their manners?

I'm not at all surprised.

I heard she's a floozy.

- Why are they looking at us like that, Ethel?

Oh, there she is.

Wait til you meet her.

You'd think in the future

they would show some good breeding.

Well they're coming this way,

and I don't like the look in their eyes.

Oh, Mother!

Oh my God!

Holy Shit!

Mother!

Mother?

Joyce.

Hey, that's your mother?

This is a bad dream,

a very, very bad dream.

- Hey, dream or not, I'm gettin' the hell outta here.

Oh, Mother, how could you?

Come, Joyce.

Give your mother a great big hug.

Shh!

Right behind us!

- Shit, what the fuck, come on, this way!

Oh my God.

Are they out there?

Shh!

I think it's clear.

Are you sure?

I don't know!

Well check, damn it!

My God, Joyce?

Oh my God.

Joyce?

Rinaldi, you son of a, you scared the shit out of me, Joyce!

Get off, you're ruinin' this week's pay.

- Look, something fucked up is happening.

- Oh, no shit, this chick's got a cannibal for a mother.

And her mother's friends, man-eaters, all of 'em.

- Don't talk about my mother that way.

- Sorry, babe, but you saw it for yourself.

What is happening?

- Don't be surprised if I don't call you anymore.

- Listen, everybody's mother is after our meat.

We gotta get outta here.

Come on.

Come on, move your ass!

- Look, I don't know if I can go through with this.

- Don't worry, Timmy, just do exactly as we planned.

- All right, let me see if I got this straight.

I call out to my mother, and say, Mommy, come and get me.

And when my mother comes out.

- Linda and me will be by the doorway.

Now when she comes toward you,

I'm gonna hit her over the head with this baseball bat.

Yeah, but not too hard.

She's still my mother, you know?

Nah, I won't hit her too hard,

just enough to knock her out.

- And then we tie this chain around her, right?

Yeah, but not too tight.

No, I know, not too tight.

- Then we go and do the same to your mothers?

Right.

You bet.

All right, I think I'm ready.

Mom.

Louder.

Mommy, oh, Mommy!

Timmy, is that you?

Yeah, Mom, it's me.

Where have you been, Timmy?

You had Mommy all worried.

Come inside, Timmy.

No, Mom.

Come inside, Timmy.

Your brother has no one to play with.

Mom.

Look out, Mom!

Ah, you stinking,

edible, little children.

- What's the matter with you, man?

You could've had us killed!

- Schwartz, Officer Hitchcock here.

What's going on at that high school over there?

- They called into the station

couple of minutes ago.

Said the place is full of cannibals or somethin',

I don't know.

Cantaloupes?

- What's the matter with you, cantaloupes?

Cannibals!

Cannibals,

what the hell are you talking about, cannibals?

They're cannibals,

cannibals at the high school.

The kids eatin' the teachers, the teachers,

I don't know what the hell it is.

- Cannibals, what do you mean

they're people eatin' other people at the high school?

- What did you think I mean,

they're playin' chess?

Yeah, they're eatin' teachers.

- Schwartz, what've you been drinkin', Schwartz?

This way.

- What's goin' on, Rinaldi?

Tell me.

- Don't worry about it now.

Let's just get out of here.

- What's happening with my mother?

- I don't, it's not just your mother, Joyce.

It's my mom, Jeff Nathan's, and Timmy Nolan's old lady,

and Linda's mom, too.

Mrs. Douglas?

But why, I mean, how?

I don't know.

All I know is we've got to stop them.

- I have to go to the bathroom.

What?

I gotta take a leak, real bad.

Really, Frankie.

- Couldn't it wait until we're safe?

- Look, there's a bathroom right up here.

I'll be back in one minute.

- For once in my life I try to do something nice,

like save a couple lives, but no, you have to.

- Hey, thanks for your permission, man.

Stupid asshole.

Oh, great, just great.

Let's split.

What about Frankie?

He's a big boy.

Made it to the bathroom on his own, right?

- Well I can't just leave without him.

He's my date, it wouldn't be right.

- Look, you're not leavin' without him.

You're just leaving, and it's not because he isn't with you,

it's because he couldn't hold his piss for a couple minutes,

so we could've gotten the heck outta here.

Let's get outta here.

What about Frankie?

I thought he was your date.

Frankie who?

We'll be eaten alive.

Oh, sure, sure, eaten alive.

You know, you girls crack me up.

You pretend to be standing by your man,

but when it comes to leaving with the man you came in with

and being eaten alive.

Hey, what's all the commotion?

Run!

Whoa!

- How nice of you to join us for dinner.

- Pleased to meet you, Mrs. Shepard.

My name is Frank Lemmonjello.

I'm sure Joyce has told you so much about me.

Whoa! - Well, come on!

Shit!

Ah-ha, ah-ha!

See ya!

Fucking cannibals!

You know, my mother told me never to deck a lady,

but she didn't say shit about a cannibal.

Come on, this way.

Help me!

Help!

Help me, please, help me!

Do something, Rinaldi.

Help me!

I can't.

Hmm.

What?

- Along with bacteria, uric acid,

to destroy the body's structural defects.

Note the increase in precipitate acetate.

This isn't exactly my field.

- Well, Lee, it seems that this virus is inactive in males,

but, but horribly active in females who've had children.

- So, does that mean it's sexually transmitted?

Not a doubt.

Hey, are you all right?

Fine, no luck, but we're okay.

How 'bout you?

I never made it to my mom's.

We were trapped in the school.

Rinaldi saved my life.

Oh, Joyce.

Oh, Linda.

Oh, brother.

- Look, we have to pull ourselves together.

There must be something we can do.

What was that?

It's the butcher!

Officer McCormick?

Calm down, I'm innocent.

You kids don't realize what's going on here.

Yeah, we do.

- Yeah, we should go to the police.

- You can't, they're in on it.

It's along story.

Go to Dr. Grouty, he will explain everything.

I don't know.

- Look, I'm going on to the school.

If you go to Dr. Grouty,

I want you to give him this message.

- Thought I heard some kids talkin' out here.

All right, I know who each and every one of you are.

Hey, who's the big kid?

Run!

All right, freeze, McCormick!

Hey, you kids, stop, stop, stop!

Kids.

Kids, I know what they're up to,

hah, sex, drugs, rock-and-roll.

Hmm, just like me when I was a kid.

Boy, I hate 'em.

What are we gonna do?

- There's only one thing left for us to do.

We have to destroy our mothers.

Kill your mother?

- They are not our mothers anymore, Joyce.

Let's face it.

They've become monsters.

- Look, I don't want to see anymore bloodshed.

I've made up my mind.

It's what we should all do.

I agree with Timmy.

Remember what we said earlier?

We are all responsible for our own mother's actions.

Right?

It just doesn't look like

there's anything left for us to do.

Look, there is an alternative.

We can go to Dr. Grouty.

No, thanks.

- McCormick said he had some answers.

- I don't want to hear anything he's got to say.

Why not?

- I just don't like the way adults handle things,

that's all.

I mean, they're to blame for this whole mess

in the first place.

All right, I agree with you,

but I don't think we should make any drastic decision

when there's still some hope.

Look, if they, our mother's were fully liable

for what they did,

I could agree with Timmy, but they're not.

McCormick said they're suffering from a disease.

Now, if that's the case, there could be a cure, man.

Don't you see that?

There's still hope for them.

What if there isn't a cure?

I mean, what hospital would actually take them?

No, I love my mother,

but I don't like seeing her like this.

She's suffering.

They're all suffering.

We have to kill them.

We have to put them out of their misery.

Timmy!

Timmy, wait!

Forget it.

The kid's got his head set.

He's gone.

What's it gonna be then?

I'll get it.

Oh, Lee.

Who is it, Felicia?

What can I do for you?

- Officer McCormick said you could help us.

Clyde, where is he?

He was shot,

Officer Hitchcock.

I told him not to go.

Sorry, Lee.

God, did he say anything?

He told us to come to you.

And he had a message.

Well, tell me.

- I don't know what he meant by it,

but he said Dixon's wife had the virus.

Dixon's wife!

That bastard!

I wanna know why, Dixon.

- Well, Dr. Grouty, oh, what a surprise.

Why?

I don't know what you mean.

- There is an epidemic out there.

Mothers are eating their children!

Oh my God.

You knew it all along.

You could've prevented it from the start, couldn't you?

When it happened to your wife!

- I couldn't have stopped it.

- And then when it happened to Clyde,

one of your own, one of your finest men,

again you turned away from it,

and you tried to use me to cover up for you!

I had to, Lee.

How could I have prevented it?

It was inevitable.

What do ya mean?

- I committed adultery against my wife.

Everybody knows Mrs. McCormick was guilty of infidelity,

that's why Clyde divorced her, don't ya see?

What are you getting at?

- Thou shalt not commit adultery.

It is written in the Bible.

One of the 10 Commandments that has been overlooked

and thought little of, of in society.

But now God has drawn the line, no more!

Commissioner Dixon?

What is it?

- You wanted me to keep you posted on McCormick.

Yes?

He's been found, sir.

Officer Hitchcock just called.

- Well that's fine, have him brought in.

There's, uh, some things I-

No can do, sir.

He's been shot.

Dead.

Self-defense.

Oh, I see.

Thank you, Officer.

I'm sorry, Lee.

- I am going to the papers tomorrow,

and I am telling them everything.

Hello, Hitchcock?

Hey, Commissioner,

you're gonna be real proud of me.

I know about McCormick.

Listen, Grouty's on his way to his office.

I want you to take care of him,

like you did the other coroner.

- Right, you can rely on me, sir.

Hey, hey, what are you doin'?

Let go, let go!

No!

Let me go!

Oh God!

Oh, Lee!

What is it, Felicia?

Look!

What is it?

The cells, they're responding.

Let me see.

This could be it.

This could be the cure.

Are you sure?

- There's only one way to find out.

- I'm giving you each a loaded syringe.

I want you to come with me and Felicia.

We're gonna track down your mothers,

stick it to them.

- I'm telling you, he was torn to pieces.

Poor Hitchcock didn't have a chance.

- Couldn't have been McCormick's doin', man,

'cause he's already dead.

That's the truth.

Gentlemen.

Officer McCormick did not go out of his mind

when he shot his wife.

Mrs. McCormick was indeed a cannibal.

What?

- Okay, guys, quiet down now, okay?

You all saw Officer Hitchcock.

Even as I speak these women cannibals,

these beasts are terrorizing our streets.

I am authorizing a manhunt for them.

Don't even try to bring them in alive.

In fact, I want you to shoot to kill.

Scared?

Oh, why do you say that?

You're trembling.

I'm cold.

Nighty night.

Princess!

Hello!

Does Mommy know you're out here?

You know it's way past your curfew.

Who, who's your new friend?

What the hell do you care?

Princess!

Linda!

What are you doing?

Don't get any ideas.

Thanks for savin' my life.

Yeah, so what?

So what?

Everybody always said you were a rotten kid,

but now I know different.

Don't be fooled, kid.

I am rotten.

Who says I'm rotten anyway?

Oh, dear.

What is it?

- I don't remember if I unplugged the iron

before I left the house.

Oh, I hate when that happens.

Don't you hate that?

- Yes, I hate when that happens.

- I can't stand when that happens.

- Well what are you going to do?

About what?

The iron, silly.

- Suppose I'd better take care of it, shouldn't I?

- Yes, you wouldn't want the house to burn down.

No.

Let's eat first.

- Yes, we wouldn't want to starve either.

This is car number one.

Car number five,

what's up Commissioner?

- Patrolling the spot where Hitchcock was found.

There's no sign of him.

How are you doing?

Negative.

Just keep your eyes open,

and let me know if you see something.

Over and out.

- Look, there's my mom with Rinaldi's mother.

What do we do?

- You're gonna have to preoccupy Mrs. V.,

so I can get my mom alone.

Right.

Yes.

Look, I'm sick of you picking at my food.

- Well, you never said anything before.

But I'm telling you now.

Stop it or leave.

- Well, don't expect me at your house for coffee tomorrow.

- Hey, look, mister, this ain't what it looks like.

You must be Timmy.

♪ Something here is wrong

♪ Hunting down the flesh

♪ You could hear its stomach growl

♪ But there's no trying to escape it

♪ Because it wants one thing

♪ It wants that special

♪ When it's hungry

♪ It wants to eat raw meat

♪ Eat raw meat

♪ And something that's diseased

♪ Going after what it leaves

♪ So hungry it can't be pleased

♪ There's no trying to escape it

♪ Because it wants one thing

♪ It wants satisfaction

♪ When it's hungry

♪ It wants to eat raw meat

♪ Eat raw meat

Hon, are you okay?

Take it easy.

- Joyce, your mother is right behind me.

♪ Ow

Get ready, Joyce.

♪ Dinner at night

♪ Up in your neighborhood

♪ Something just ain't right

♪ There's no trying to escape it

♪ Because it wants one thing

♪ Just wants satisfaction

♪ 'Cause when it's hungry

♪ It wants to eat raw meat

- How'd it go? ♪ Eat raw meat

Piece of cake.

Hey, Timmy.

- Timmy, are you all right? - Where have you been?

- Yeah, yeah, I'm all right, you guys.

Hey, the Doc came through for us.

I guess I was wrong about before.

But, Doc, how long before this stuff takes effect?

What was that?

Gun shots.

Came from over there.

Quick, get in.

This is car number one,

what the hell is happening over there?

Commissioner,

we confronted a few of these cannibal mothers.

They tried to attack Biff and me.

We fired at them, but they got away.

- You fools, I told you not to do anything

before you let me know.

- You said we could shoot to kill.

- Never mind, where are they now?

- We believe they're headed into town.

Oh God.

All right, stay where you are.

I'll be right over there.

Isn't that pretty?

I got that last week for

$2 more than it is now.

Oh, look at that.

I saw that on Booty Barnett's dining room table.

Isn't it tacky?

There you are, you mothers.

Go back to hell where you came from!

Let go of me!

No, no, get, get, get.

Let go of me!

Let go of me!

- You have reached the emergency number 9-1-1.

We're not here to take your call right now,

but if you leave your name and number,

we'll get back to you right away.

No!

Somebody help me, please!

Help me!

Get away!

No more, I said!

- What do you kids think you're doing?

What are you waiting for?

Shoot them!

- You're gonna have to shoot us first.

Well shoot them, too!

Lee, do something!

- These kids won't get out of the way

until everybody hears the truth, Dixon.

Get them off!

- Tell us the truth, and the kids will get out of the way.

- I don't know what you're talking about.

- Why don't you start with the cover up?

All right.

I made up the story about the bear.

It was my wife who bit my arm off.

I had to shoot her.

She was goin', she was going to eat me.

Get them off!

I thought, oh my God, that the nightmare ended,

but now it's out of control.

- What happened to the old coroner?

How much you know?

- Enough to put you away for a long time,

but I want you put away longer.

You bastard.

Stop them!

Tell us about the coroner,

or I'll let them eat you.

Hitchcock!

He took care of him for me.

Please get them away from me now.

I think we've heard enough.

- I didn't know it was gonna happen.

I, I, I didn't know.

Please get them away from me now.

Look!

We did it.

My baby.

Jeffrey?

Mom, I want you to meet Linda.

Oh, Jeffrey.

Sorry, Dixon.

Yeah, yeah.

Timmy?

Please don't be afraid of me.

I'm not afraid of you, Mom.

- Rinaldi, what is the meaning of all this?

- What's the meaning of all this?

If you knew what all the shit I went through

to save your ass,

and now you're asking me what's?

Ma, I love you.

- Anything you say can and will be used against you

in a court of all.

If you don't have an attorney,

an attorney will be appointed for you.

Personally, I don't think even Jeffrey Ben

is gonna be able to help you out of this one, Captain.

Tell me, Felicia.

How was it that you were able to find the cure so fast?

- Well, Lee, we ran a lot of tests this evening.

Yes, we did.

- There's one thing we almost overlooked.

Penicillin.

Penicillin?

How simple.

Then the problem's solved.

Nope, not exactly.

You see, penicillin is also used to treat venereal diseases,

and yet there are thousands of cases every year.

Doctors still can't keep it under control.

- Well, Miss Felicia Cod, that only means

that we're gonna have to work twice as hard.

Doesn't it?

You bet.

Maybe it's better this way.

An open marriage, that's what I've always wanted.

I mean, we're not living in the Dark Ages, right?

Let too many bourgeois things stand in our way,

that's where the problem lies.

We should learn how to break out

of this so-called standard of morality.

I mean, if it feels good, let it ride, right?

I'm just so tired of it all.

- We interrupt this hour of music

for a special news bulletin.

Three new cases of cannibalism have been reported

throughout the United States.

Though no reason has been given

to the cause of this terrible phenomenon,

experts insist that all cannibals are female

and are apparently mothers.

Stay tuned to this station for more news as it develops.

♪ Monsters live in people's houses

♪ Monsters sleep and eat and drink

♪ Monsters all have little children

♪ Little faces and little feet

♪ Monsters

♪ I love monsters

♪ Monsters

♪ Yes, I do

♪ Those of you who do not know it

♪ Monsters all they live and die

♪ It may seem like they're immortal

♪ But monsters go to the world beyond

♪ Monsters

♪ I love monsters

♪ Monsters

♪ Yes, I do

♪ Monsters

♪ I love monsters

♪ Monsters

♪ Yes, I do

♪ I love them true

♪ Remember Quasi, the old hunchback

♪ He was as ugly as can be

♪ And many people loved a monster

♪ People just like you and me

♪ Monsters

♪ I love monsters

♪ Monsters

♪ Yes, I do

♪ I love them true