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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,841 - It's only a hundred. - Nothing to them. 2 00:00:28,921 --> 00:00:31,801 - I said I'd pay it back in six weeks. - Or knock it off your wages. 3 00:00:31,881 --> 00:00:34,481 - She said it would be all right. - Poll! 4 00:00:35,081 --> 00:00:37,201 If he would have said "No" three weeks ago when I asked him, 5 00:00:37,321 --> 00:00:39,881 - I could have gotten the money somewhere else. - Ask him this morning. 6 00:00:39,961 --> 00:00:42,161 I've asked him three times, it's embarrassing. 7 00:00:42,241 --> 00:00:44,361 Tell him if he won't let you have it, you'll go. 8 00:00:44,441 --> 00:00:47,161 - I've got to have it this weekend. - Well, ask him. 9 00:00:47,241 --> 00:00:50,321 Me and you practically run the bleedin' place for him. 10 00:00:50,401 --> 00:00:53,081 Ah, Polly. Your paintings brushes. 11 00:00:53,601 --> 00:00:54,641 - Thank you, Manuel. - Here. 12 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,561 Your change is 44p. 13 00:00:57,641 --> 00:00:59,081 What's all that? 14 00:00:59,161 --> 00:01:02,041 I make a paella, a surprise tonight. 15 00:01:02,241 --> 00:01:04,361 My mother's recipe is mm-mmm. 16 00:01:04,841 --> 00:01:08,081 - But does Terry know? - Perhaps Mr Fawlty say? 17 00:01:08,161 --> 00:01:09,761 (MANUEL SHUSHES) 18 00:01:14,561 --> 00:01:16,001 Anything wrong? 19 00:01:16,081 --> 00:01:19,361 - Nothing you could do anything about. - Are you sure? 20 00:01:19,761 --> 00:01:22,321 Our 15th wedding anniversary today... 21 00:01:22,401 --> 00:01:23,761 Guess who's forgotten? 22 00:01:23,841 --> 00:01:25,161 Oh, no. 23 00:01:25,561 --> 00:01:27,641 I didn't think he'd forget this year. 24 00:01:27,721 --> 00:01:30,761 Not after what happened when he forgot last year. 25 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:33,561 I shouldn't be so thin-skinned about it. 26 00:01:33,761 --> 00:01:36,921 I'm just cursed with a sensitive nature. 27 00:01:37,401 --> 00:01:40,881 Still that's the way I am. We all have our cross to bear. 28 00:01:40,961 --> 00:01:42,481 (BASIL HUMMING) 29 00:01:45,961 --> 00:01:47,761 Do you know what poem that's based on, Polly? 30 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,401 - No. - Ode to Joy. 31 00:01:49,481 --> 00:01:50,881 Hello, dear. 32 00:01:51,401 --> 00:01:54,841 Polly, you won't forget to put some more splits in the bar, will you? 33 00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:56,601 I don't expect Polly will forget, Basil. 34 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:58,241 - Just reminding her, dear. - Oh, were you? 35 00:01:58,321 --> 00:02:00,961 I thought so, yes. It sounded like it to me. 36 00:02:01,041 --> 00:02:03,881 You don't have to worry about Polly forgetting anything important. 37 00:02:03,961 --> 00:02:05,161 - Don't I? - No, you don't. 38 00:02:05,241 --> 00:02:06,401 Good. How splendid. 39 00:02:06,481 --> 00:02:08,761 - She doesn't forget things. - Doesn't she? 40 00:02:08,841 --> 00:02:11,081 Can you remember the last time she did? 41 00:02:11,161 --> 00:02:13,841 No, but then, my memory isn't very good. 42 00:02:13,921 --> 00:02:15,721 You can say that again. 43 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,001 Can I, dear? Thank you. 44 00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:18,601 (BASIL CLEARING THROAT) 45 00:02:18,681 --> 00:02:20,761 I've forgotten what it was. 46 00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:22,761 Don't worry, Basil... 47 00:02:22,841 --> 00:02:26,361 Provided you can remember the things that matter to you. 48 00:02:27,721 --> 00:02:30,481 Do I detect the smell of burning martyr? 49 00:02:30,721 --> 00:02:33,121 Mr Fawlty, it's your anniversary! 50 00:02:33,201 --> 00:02:35,041 - Don't let on. - What? 51 00:02:35,681 --> 00:02:38,681 I'm pretending I've forgotten. I forgot last year and got flayed for it. 52 00:02:38,761 --> 00:02:41,321 We've got some friends arriving in about 10 minutes 53 00:02:41,401 --> 00:02:42,641 for a surprise drinks party. 54 00:02:42,721 --> 00:02:44,841 Manuel's making a special paella for tonight, 55 00:02:44,921 --> 00:02:46,881 got some champagne, but don't tell her I've remembered yet. 56 00:02:46,961 --> 00:02:49,441 Let's let her have a bit of a fume. 57 00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,241 Wouldn't it be simpler to boil her in oil? 58 00:02:52,321 --> 00:02:54,401 Yes, but not as economical. 59 00:02:54,681 --> 00:02:57,281 Hi, Mr Fawlty, what time for the paella? 60 00:02:57,361 --> 00:02:59,561 Er... 9:00, but, secret, eh? 61 00:02:59,641 --> 00:03:01,001 Ah, sí, sí. 62 00:03:01,521 --> 00:03:03,201 - Oh, Mr Fawlty. - Hm-mmm? 63 00:03:03,281 --> 00:03:06,161 - Have you decided about the car? - The car? 64 00:03:06,241 --> 00:03:07,761 The money for the car. 65 00:03:07,841 --> 00:03:10,001 I spoke to Mrs Fawlty. She said it was all right. 66 00:03:10,081 --> 00:03:11,361 I don't think she quite understands 67 00:03:11,441 --> 00:03:13,801 the cash flow situation vis-à-vis the frozen assets... 68 00:03:13,881 --> 00:03:16,321 It's only 100. I'd pay you back in six weeks. 69 00:03:16,401 --> 00:03:17,401 Let me think about it. 70 00:03:17,481 --> 00:03:19,641 I've got to know this weekend. They won't hold it. 71 00:03:19,721 --> 00:03:22,441 This week? You should have told me. 72 00:03:22,521 --> 00:03:24,481 I told you three weeks ago. 73 00:03:24,601 --> 00:03:28,241 Look, it's my anniversary. I've got friends arriving. We'll discuss it later. 74 00:03:28,321 --> 00:03:31,401 When they get here, give me a hand with the coats and drinks. 75 00:03:31,481 --> 00:03:33,681 I scratch your back, you scratch mine, eh? 76 00:03:33,761 --> 00:03:34,921 What's this, then? 77 00:03:35,801 --> 00:03:38,321 BOTH: Good morning, Mr Fawlty. 78 00:03:38,401 --> 00:03:40,161 Good morning, ladies. 79 00:03:41,241 --> 00:03:43,161 Could I have a word with you, Basil? 80 00:03:43,241 --> 00:03:45,041 Could it wait a few minutes, dear? 81 00:03:45,121 --> 00:03:46,161 No. 82 00:03:50,241 --> 00:03:53,481 Is everything all right? You seem a little tense. 83 00:03:54,161 --> 00:03:56,001 Do you know what day it is today, Basil? 84 00:03:56,081 --> 00:03:58,641 It's the 16th today, dear. 85 00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:02,201 - It's the 17th, Basil. - It's the 16th today, dear. 86 00:04:02,681 --> 00:04:04,881 It's the 17th, Basil. 87 00:04:04,961 --> 00:04:06,841 We'll soon settle this. 88 00:04:08,561 --> 00:04:11,521 Oh, yes, you are right. The 17th of April. 89 00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,321 Well, well, well. 90 00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:16,041 Does that stir any memories in you? 91 00:04:16,561 --> 00:04:18,121 Memories? 92 00:04:18,361 --> 00:04:19,801 (BASIL GASPS) 93 00:04:19,961 --> 00:04:21,321 Agincourt? 94 00:04:24,281 --> 00:04:26,641 - What? - Anniversary of the Battle of Agincourt. 95 00:04:28,881 --> 00:04:30,241 Trafalgar? 96 00:04:30,881 --> 00:04:33,081 Crécy? Poitiers? Yom Kippur? 97 00:04:33,881 --> 00:04:34,881 (BASIL CHUCKLING) 98 00:04:34,961 --> 00:04:38,241 Mr Fawlty, Manuel says he's cooking a paella. 99 00:04:38,321 --> 00:04:40,121 It's for Mrs Fawlty. Anniversary... 100 00:04:40,201 --> 00:04:42,401 - I can do paella, you know. - Yes, I know. 101 00:04:42,481 --> 00:04:43,681 I have been to catering school. 102 00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,961 Yes, but he is Spanish. I thought it would be... 103 00:04:46,081 --> 00:04:50,521 Gazpacho, chicken andaluz, eggplant español, Franco Fritters, I can do it. 104 00:04:50,601 --> 00:04:51,561 Of course you can. 105 00:04:51,681 --> 00:04:57,401 But he's wanted to do it ever since he got here. I thought it would be rather nice. Just tonight. 106 00:05:01,361 --> 00:05:03,521 I don't want to cause trouble. 107 00:05:03,601 --> 00:05:04,921 Yes, you do. 108 00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:06,601 Now, don't you start. I don't want an argument. 109 00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:08,241 - No, please, please! - Be quiet! 110 00:05:08,321 --> 00:05:09,961 I've told him I want you to do it. 111 00:05:10,041 --> 00:05:11,801 Mrs Fawlty, she go! 112 00:05:12,521 --> 00:05:14,721 - What? - She leave! She go out! 113 00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:16,601 What? 114 00:05:17,641 --> 00:05:18,801 Sybil? 115 00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:23,001 Sybil! Sybil! Sybil, no! 116 00:05:23,081 --> 00:05:25,561 You don't understand! I remembered. 117 00:05:26,361 --> 00:05:30,361 There's a party. I've invited people over. It's our anniversary! 118 00:05:43,161 --> 00:05:44,961 Everything all right? 119 00:05:46,121 --> 00:05:48,721 Bit of a bump. Just smoothing it out. 120 00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:52,961 - Are we too early? - Oh, not at all. Come on in. 121 00:06:02,721 --> 00:06:03,921 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 122 00:06:04,001 --> 00:06:06,161 They're here! What do I say? 123 00:06:06,241 --> 00:06:07,881 Say she's, um... 124 00:06:07,961 --> 00:06:11,321 "She's um"... Oh, brilliant! 125 00:06:11,401 --> 00:06:13,201 - Is a surprise party. - Yes! 126 00:06:13,281 --> 00:06:14,601 - She no here... - Right! 127 00:06:14,681 --> 00:06:16,361 That is surprise. 128 00:06:18,441 --> 00:06:19,561 Hello, Bas. 129 00:06:19,641 --> 00:06:20,681 - Say she's ill! - She's ill. 130 00:06:20,761 --> 00:06:21,841 - What? - She's ill, Sybil. 131 00:06:21,921 --> 00:06:23,041 What would you like to drink? 132 00:06:23,121 --> 00:06:24,281 - Syb, ill? - Yes. 133 00:06:24,361 --> 00:06:25,881 What's the matter? 134 00:06:25,961 --> 00:06:28,241 Did you hear that? I said, "Syb-ill?" 135 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:29,801 - Yes. - Have you got it? 136 00:06:29,881 --> 00:06:30,921 No, I'm fine. 137 00:06:31,001 --> 00:06:35,161 No, I call her "Syb." So, "Syb-ill." 138 00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:37,041 "Bas-well." 139 00:06:38,001 --> 00:06:39,481 Man-well. 140 00:06:41,361 --> 00:06:44,321 - What's the matter, Basil? - What have you done to her, eh? 141 00:06:44,401 --> 00:06:46,201 - Roger! - She knows my name. 142 00:06:46,281 --> 00:06:47,601 She's been learning it all night. 143 00:06:47,681 --> 00:06:50,601 - What's the matter, Basil? - Nothing. 144 00:06:51,081 --> 00:06:54,641 - With Sybil? - Oh, with Sybil... Quite a bit, actually. 145 00:06:54,721 --> 00:06:56,801 - Oh, dear. - She's fine. Absolutely fine. 146 00:06:56,921 --> 00:07:00,441 She's feeling dreadful, but she'll live. That's what counts in the long run, doesn't it? 147 00:07:00,521 --> 00:07:01,881 I'll pop up and see her. 148 00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:04,001 You don't want to bother. Come on, have a drink. 149 00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:07,201 - No, you go on. I'll see you in a minute. - No, Alice. I wouldn't actually. 150 00:07:07,281 --> 00:07:09,441 - Let them have a natter. - No, I mustn't. 151 00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:12,561 She's up there on her own. I'm sure she'd like a little company. 152 00:07:12,641 --> 00:07:13,761 - Uh-huh. - I know I would. 153 00:07:13,841 --> 00:07:15,081 You wouldn't if you looked like her. 154 00:07:15,201 --> 00:07:19,761 She's very swollen up. She's looks very... You know what Sybil's like about her appearance. 155 00:07:19,841 --> 00:07:22,561 Don't be silly. She won't mind me seeing her. 156 00:07:22,641 --> 00:07:23,961 She would. I think she would. 157 00:07:24,041 --> 00:07:26,841 It's her anniversary. She's up there all on her own. 158 00:07:26,921 --> 00:07:29,081 Aghh! 159 00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:32,161 The old leg, bit of a gyp. 160 00:07:32,321 --> 00:07:34,401 Better have a drink. Come on through. 161 00:07:34,481 --> 00:07:36,801 Poor Basil. Let me call her. 162 00:07:37,001 --> 00:07:38,121 What? 163 00:07:38,201 --> 00:07:40,521 Let me call her from down here and see what she says. 164 00:07:40,601 --> 00:07:43,441 - There's the phone. - Come on, Bas. Let's have a drink. 165 00:07:43,521 --> 00:07:45,841 - No, please. - Come on. 166 00:07:45,921 --> 00:07:48,561 - Why not? - She's having a bit of a sleep. 167 00:07:48,641 --> 00:07:50,281 She can sleep all day, Basil. 168 00:07:50,361 --> 00:07:52,401 - She won't mind me... - But she's lost her voice. 169 00:07:52,481 --> 00:07:54,321 - Lost her voice? - Just like that. 170 00:07:54,401 --> 00:07:57,441 - Come on. - Coming, Roger. After you, Alice. 171 00:07:59,841 --> 00:08:02,881 All right, Alice... What would you like to drink? 172 00:08:02,961 --> 00:08:06,041 Gin and it, Basil. Has the doctor been? 173 00:08:06,481 --> 00:08:08,481 What's yours, Rog? 174 00:08:08,561 --> 00:08:10,841 - Gin and tonic. - Oh, yes, of course. 175 00:08:10,921 --> 00:08:12,841 Basil, has the doctor been? 176 00:08:12,921 --> 00:08:14,241 Er... Nuts? 177 00:08:16,321 --> 00:08:19,401 They've had a row. She's refused to come down. 178 00:08:20,241 --> 00:08:21,481 You were just asking about the doctor? 179 00:08:21,561 --> 00:08:23,521 - Yes. - He hasn't been. 180 00:08:23,601 --> 00:08:26,921 - I expect we'll get him over this afternoon. - Well, what a shame. 181 00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,681 Poor old Syb. On your anniversary, too. 182 00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,841 - Hello, Polly. - Hello, Mrs Tarry. 183 00:08:31,921 --> 00:08:33,961 Isn't it a shame about Mrs Fawlty? 184 00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,481 Isn't it? The doctor said she's going to be in bed for a couple of days. 185 00:08:37,561 --> 00:08:41,561 The doctor hasn't actually been yet. I don't know who you were thinking of. 186 00:08:41,641 --> 00:08:44,721 But that man this morning, he looked like a doctor. 187 00:08:44,801 --> 00:08:47,521 He did, actually. That's true. But he wasn't, unfortunately. 188 00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:49,641 - He wasn't a doctor? - No, he was a dentist. 189 00:08:49,721 --> 00:08:51,161 - A dentist? - Mm-hmm. 190 00:08:51,241 --> 00:08:52,721 What was a dentist doing here? 191 00:08:52,841 --> 00:08:56,201 Staying in the hotel. He's a guest, you see? Dentists do stay in hotels. 192 00:08:56,281 --> 00:08:59,801 But they don't go telling people's wives to stay in bed. 193 00:09:00,321 --> 00:09:03,561 - He must have been talking about his wife. - His wife? 194 00:09:03,641 --> 00:09:06,121 Jolly good luck. Nice to see you both. Cheers. 195 00:09:06,201 --> 00:09:08,201 - Cheers. - Up yours, Basil. 196 00:09:09,441 --> 00:09:11,801 - I hope she's better soon. - Yes, yes. 197 00:09:11,881 --> 00:09:14,321 (CHUCKLING) Who, Syb, or the dentist's wife? 198 00:09:14,801 --> 00:09:16,281 Ha! Ha! 199 00:09:16,721 --> 00:09:19,921 - You're both keeping well? - Couldn't be better. 200 00:09:20,001 --> 00:09:21,441 - And you, Basil? - I can't complain. 201 00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:24,121 I could, but it wouldn't do any good. 202 00:09:24,201 --> 00:09:26,641 No, shame. On your anniversary. 203 00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:28,561 All comes out in the wash, doesn't it? 204 00:09:28,641 --> 00:09:30,521 We're thinking of having this room done up. 205 00:09:30,601 --> 00:09:32,001 - Really? - Sort of a Captain's cabin. 206 00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:35,001 Charts on the wall, ropes, wheel in the corner, that sort of thing. 207 00:09:35,081 --> 00:09:36,841 Give it a bit of class. 208 00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,801 Wasn't my idea, Roger. 209 00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:39,921 Poor Sybil. 210 00:09:40,001 --> 00:09:43,001 Hello. How are you? Hello, Basil. 211 00:09:43,081 --> 00:09:45,081 BASIL: Hello, Virginia. 212 00:09:45,161 --> 00:09:47,801 - Happy anniversary. - Thank you. 213 00:09:47,881 --> 00:09:49,161 We've brought you a little surprise. 214 00:09:49,241 --> 00:09:51,481 Oh, can I see? 215 00:09:52,321 --> 00:09:53,801 Oh, cake? Lovely. 216 00:09:53,881 --> 00:09:56,081 - Jolly nice. - Did you make it? 217 00:09:56,161 --> 00:09:57,241 (ALICE EXCLAIMING) 218 00:09:57,321 --> 00:09:59,041 Lots of extra marzipan. 219 00:09:59,121 --> 00:10:00,361 She's not well. 220 00:10:00,441 --> 00:10:02,281 - Sybil. - Not well? 221 00:10:02,441 --> 00:10:05,121 - She's in bed. - That's not like Sybil. 222 00:10:05,201 --> 00:10:06,921 She's lost her voice. 223 00:10:07,001 --> 00:10:08,801 - What is it? - We're not absolutely sure. 224 00:10:08,881 --> 00:10:11,081 I bet she'd like a bit of that marzipan. 225 00:10:11,161 --> 00:10:12,601 - Roger. - Cheer her up, Bas. 226 00:10:12,681 --> 00:10:14,641 Good idea. We'll take her up a slice. 227 00:10:14,721 --> 00:10:16,761 - I don't think we'd better. - Well, why not? 228 00:10:16,841 --> 00:10:18,001 She really ought not to be disturbed. 229 00:10:18,081 --> 00:10:21,201 - Oh, just a minute, Basil. - It's not a very good idea. 230 00:10:21,281 --> 00:10:23,801 What on earth's the matter with her? Has the doctor been? 231 00:10:23,881 --> 00:10:26,481 No, but the dentist's had a good look. 232 00:10:27,641 --> 00:10:30,001 - The dentist? - We called the doctor. 233 00:10:30,081 --> 00:10:31,561 We described the symptoms to him over the phone. 234 00:10:31,681 --> 00:10:35,201 He said she ought to stay very quiet... Ah, Polly. What would you like to drink, Virginia? 235 00:10:35,281 --> 00:10:36,961 Medium sherry, please. 236 00:10:37,041 --> 00:10:38,161 Mr Fawlty... 237 00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,401 What are the symptoms? 238 00:10:39,481 --> 00:10:41,921 She's lost her voice and she's very puffed up. 239 00:10:42,001 --> 00:10:43,321 Yes, what is it? 240 00:10:43,401 --> 00:10:44,881 It's Terry. He being very difficult. 241 00:10:44,961 --> 00:10:46,281 Puffed up? 242 00:10:46,361 --> 00:10:48,881 He moved my pot. He put his pot where my pot is. 243 00:10:48,961 --> 00:10:51,521 Polly, what's "puffed up"? 244 00:10:51,601 --> 00:10:52,601 Beer for me. 245 00:10:52,721 --> 00:10:56,441 - Put your pot somewhere else. - I put it somewhere else, he move it again. 246 00:10:56,521 --> 00:10:58,161 - What's puffed up? - (MUMBLING) The eyes. 247 00:10:58,241 --> 00:11:00,001 Tell him I said not to do it. 248 00:11:00,081 --> 00:11:01,121 - What? - (MUMBLING) The eyes. 249 00:11:01,201 --> 00:11:04,721 I tell you he want to make trouble. He push mop at my feet. 250 00:11:04,801 --> 00:11:06,161 Her thighs. 251 00:11:07,081 --> 00:11:08,521 Thighs? 252 00:11:08,681 --> 00:11:10,161 Most of her legs, actually. 253 00:11:10,241 --> 00:11:11,561 Just tell him. Go on. 254 00:11:11,641 --> 00:11:12,801 Basil! 255 00:11:13,481 --> 00:11:15,481 Polly says her legs are all puffed up. 256 00:11:15,561 --> 00:11:16,801 Are they? 257 00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:21,681 No, Sybil's. 258 00:11:22,161 --> 00:11:24,081 - What? - Sybil's legs. 259 00:11:24,161 --> 00:11:26,441 - Sybil's legs? - Her thighs. 260 00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:28,881 Oh, yes, just a bit. A tiny bit. 261 00:11:28,961 --> 00:11:31,801 Mainly around the face... Around the eyes. 262 00:11:32,641 --> 00:11:36,161 Her face is puffed up, she's lost her voice, and her legs are a bit... 263 00:11:36,241 --> 00:11:39,721 Expanded. Sad, isn't it? Poor old sow. Ha! Ha! 264 00:11:40,001 --> 00:11:42,681 - When's the doctor coming? - Later. Soon. 265 00:11:42,761 --> 00:11:44,121 - When? - I don't know exactly. 266 00:11:44,201 --> 00:11:46,201 - I'd better go up and have a look. - What? 267 00:11:46,281 --> 00:11:48,201 - She sounds ill. - She is ill. 268 00:11:48,281 --> 00:11:50,761 That's why we don't want people talking to her. 269 00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:53,921 I'm not going to talk to her, Basil. I'm going to look at her. 270 00:11:54,001 --> 00:11:55,801 Look at her? She's ill, isn't she? 271 00:11:55,881 --> 00:11:58,721 What's the bloody point of looking at her? 272 00:11:59,201 --> 00:12:01,321 I am a nurse, Basil. 273 00:12:01,401 --> 00:12:03,241 Oh, no! I know! 274 00:12:03,321 --> 00:12:04,921 (BASIL LAUGHING) 275 00:12:06,401 --> 00:12:07,481 Did you hear that, everyone? 276 00:12:07,561 --> 00:12:10,841 All the years that I've known old Virginia, she thinks I've forgotten she's a nurse. 277 00:12:10,921 --> 00:12:12,521 You're a marvel. 278 00:12:13,641 --> 00:12:15,281 - Please let me go. - Hmm? 279 00:12:15,361 --> 00:12:16,481 I want to look at Sybil. 280 00:12:16,561 --> 00:12:17,881 - Well, you can't. - Why not? 281 00:12:17,961 --> 00:12:20,281 Because... 282 00:12:20,361 --> 00:12:23,121 You've lost weight, haven't you? Isn't that absolutely marvellous? 283 00:12:23,201 --> 00:12:26,121 Mr Fawlty? I think you ought to tell them. 284 00:12:26,921 --> 00:12:29,121 Oh. Right. 285 00:12:29,201 --> 00:12:31,801 About the doctor coming this morning? 286 00:12:32,561 --> 00:12:34,881 He came this morning. First thing. 287 00:12:34,961 --> 00:12:36,841 Why didn't you say? 288 00:12:38,161 --> 00:12:41,801 - He didn't want to worry you. - I didn't want to worry you. 289 00:12:42,201 --> 00:12:43,721 Is it serious? 290 00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:46,241 - It might be. - ALICE: Oh, dear! 291 00:12:46,321 --> 00:12:48,321 Not completely serious... But, slightly serious. 292 00:12:48,401 --> 00:12:50,241 ALICE: Poor Basil. 293 00:12:50,321 --> 00:12:53,161 It's all right. I'd just rather we didn't talk about it. 294 00:12:53,241 --> 00:12:55,001 REG: Hello everyone! KITTY: Hello. 295 00:12:55,081 --> 00:12:56,561 Hello, Basil. 296 00:12:58,041 --> 00:12:59,441 Hello, Reg. 297 00:12:59,761 --> 00:13:01,841 - Sybil's not here, is she? - No, no. 298 00:13:01,921 --> 00:13:05,281 I told you so. I just saw her in town. 299 00:13:05,481 --> 00:13:06,801 What? 300 00:13:07,681 --> 00:13:09,441 In her car. In the high street. 301 00:13:09,521 --> 00:13:12,241 (STUTTERING) No, no. That's another woman. 302 00:13:12,321 --> 00:13:15,521 - What other woman? - That woman who looks slightly like Sybil. 303 00:13:15,601 --> 00:13:17,441 You know her, don't you? 304 00:13:17,521 --> 00:13:18,521 Like Sybil? 305 00:13:18,601 --> 00:13:20,481 Yes, very broad here. She's from the north. 306 00:13:20,561 --> 00:13:21,841 Drives a red maxi? 307 00:13:21,921 --> 00:13:23,601 Her husband does. I think she borrowed it. 308 00:13:23,681 --> 00:13:26,201 Perhaps she stole yours? It's not out there. 309 00:13:26,281 --> 00:13:27,601 It's in the garage, Rog. 310 00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,241 - She looks like Sybil? - Yes. 311 00:13:29,321 --> 00:13:30,401 She comes from the North? 312 00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:33,361 She has a Northern accent. I assume she's from the North. 313 00:13:33,441 --> 00:13:35,281 - You've spoken to her? - Mm-hmm. 314 00:13:35,361 --> 00:13:36,681 - What's her name? - I don't know her name! 315 00:13:36,761 --> 00:13:39,041 I only met her once. At a fete. 316 00:13:39,121 --> 00:13:42,081 - Sorry, Basil, I didn't mean. - No, of course. 317 00:13:42,361 --> 00:13:43,961 By the way, where is Sybil? 318 00:13:44,041 --> 00:13:45,921 - She's in bed. - Oh, dear. 319 00:13:46,001 --> 00:13:48,201 She's really not well. She really mustn't see anybody. 320 00:13:48,281 --> 00:13:49,521 - What? Not at all? - No. 321 00:13:49,601 --> 00:13:51,361 Can't we put our heads around the corner? 322 00:13:51,441 --> 00:13:53,161 She mustn't have any excitement. 323 00:13:53,241 --> 00:13:55,721 - Oh, Basil. - What do you mean, "Oh, Basil"? 324 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,801 We are her oldest friends. It can only do her good. 325 00:13:58,881 --> 00:14:00,641 We've all come over here to see you both. 326 00:14:00,721 --> 00:14:02,601 Sorry if you've been put out. 327 00:14:02,681 --> 00:14:05,361 You have some drinks, plenty of nuts, see your old friends, have some laughs. 328 00:14:05,441 --> 00:14:08,721 If that isn't good enough, I'll refund your petrol. 329 00:14:09,561 --> 00:14:11,441 - Steady on, Basil. - I'm sorry. 330 00:14:11,521 --> 00:14:13,921 We understand. You're a bit upset. 331 00:14:14,001 --> 00:14:15,041 Well, you know... 332 00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:17,641 You know us well enough. 333 00:14:17,721 --> 00:14:19,281 You should've called it off. Waited until she's better. 334 00:14:19,361 --> 00:14:22,121 - There just wasn't time. - Wasn't time? 335 00:14:22,201 --> 00:14:23,801 She only began to puff up about an hour ago. 336 00:14:23,881 --> 00:14:26,761 But you said the doctor came first thing this morning. 337 00:14:26,881 --> 00:14:31,161 Yes, that's right. That was for the throat. The puffing up started after he'd gone, okay? 338 00:14:31,241 --> 00:14:34,241 - After? - Yes, after. Are you taking notes? 339 00:14:34,321 --> 00:14:36,841 - Where are you going? - I'm going to see her. 340 00:14:36,961 --> 00:14:41,761 There is something very peculiar about all this. I won't stand here while an old friend like Sybil... 341 00:14:41,841 --> 00:14:44,761 It's perfectly Sybil. Simple's not well. 342 00:14:44,841 --> 00:14:46,481 She lost her throat and her voice hurt. 343 00:14:46,561 --> 00:14:49,521 The doctor said it was a bit serious. Not a lot, a bit. 344 00:14:49,601 --> 00:14:52,961 He went away, she started to puff up, he's coming back later this afternoon, 345 00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:54,881 and it's best for her to be on her own. 346 00:14:54,961 --> 00:14:57,241 What is so peculiar about that? 347 00:14:57,801 --> 00:15:00,121 Her driving around in the town. 348 00:15:01,681 --> 00:15:03,041 What did you say? 349 00:15:03,121 --> 00:15:05,761 Sorry, just a joke. Can I have another gin? 350 00:15:05,841 --> 00:15:09,001 Just a joke? She's down there, in town, driving around? Is that what you think? 351 00:15:09,081 --> 00:15:10,641 Of course it isn't. 352 00:15:10,761 --> 00:15:15,561 Obviously, I've been standing here making up crackpot stories about my wife being seriously ill. 353 00:15:15,681 --> 00:15:19,801 No, of course not... It was just a bit funny Kitty seeing that northern woman in the car. 354 00:15:19,881 --> 00:15:22,521 Funny? Oh, I see. 355 00:15:22,601 --> 00:15:26,361 You think that was Sybil in the car and not upstairs? 356 00:15:26,441 --> 00:15:29,521 Oh, I understand. I've got it now. 357 00:15:29,601 --> 00:15:31,361 What are we all waiting around here for? 358 00:15:31,441 --> 00:15:33,561 Come on, everybody upstairs. 359 00:15:34,001 --> 00:15:35,881 - Come on. All of you. - No, Basil. 360 00:15:35,961 --> 00:15:38,081 Everyone who thinks I'm a liar, come on up. 361 00:15:38,161 --> 00:15:39,961 Of course, we don't. 362 00:15:40,041 --> 00:15:42,481 - Hang on, old man. - Don't get like that. 363 00:15:42,561 --> 00:15:44,561 - Come and see Sybil. - We don't want to. 364 00:15:44,641 --> 00:15:46,401 It's best to leave her, we'll see her another time. 365 00:15:46,481 --> 00:15:47,921 When she's feeling better. 366 00:15:48,001 --> 00:15:50,041 - Roger wants to. - We mustn't disturb her. 367 00:15:50,121 --> 00:15:53,201 - If Roger wants to... - He doesn't, Basil. 368 00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:57,161 - We could just say hello. - Oh, Roger! 369 00:15:57,241 --> 00:15:59,161 Right. All right! Fine! 370 00:15:59,241 --> 00:16:01,321 Okay, then. Fine! 371 00:16:01,401 --> 00:16:04,241 No problem! Suits me. Good idea. 372 00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:09,001 I'll just pop upstairs and ask her to stop dying then you can all come up and identify her. 373 00:16:09,081 --> 00:16:10,641 - Basil! - Polly, give me a hand. 374 00:16:10,721 --> 00:16:14,041 Help yourself to a drink. Make yourself at home. Relax! 375 00:16:14,121 --> 00:16:15,161 Any more nuts? 376 00:16:15,881 --> 00:16:17,601 - What are you doing? - You won't have to... 377 00:16:17,681 --> 00:16:19,161 What? Oh, no. 378 00:16:19,241 --> 00:16:20,601 - Come on. - No, no, no. 379 00:16:20,681 --> 00:16:22,561 No! I won't. 380 00:16:22,641 --> 00:16:24,001 Yes, you will. 381 00:16:24,081 --> 00:16:27,601 It's easy. Put on her dark glasses, and one of her wigs. 382 00:16:27,681 --> 00:16:28,921 (POLLY SCREAMING) 383 00:16:29,001 --> 00:16:31,361 - I'll keep them away from you. - Will you listen to me? 384 00:16:31,441 --> 00:16:34,761 - We'll draw the curtains. - They'd never believe I was Mrs Fawlty. 385 00:16:34,841 --> 00:16:37,321 - Seeing is believing. - I don't look like her. 386 00:16:37,401 --> 00:16:38,401 You're a woman, aren't you? 387 00:16:38,481 --> 00:16:40,681 - My face is too long. - We'll shorten it. 388 00:16:40,761 --> 00:16:42,641 You've lost your voice. All you have to do is wave. 389 00:16:42,721 --> 00:16:44,641 - Wave? - Put one hand up and jiggle it about. 390 00:16:44,721 --> 00:16:47,041 You'll soon get the hang of it. 391 00:16:47,441 --> 00:16:48,801 Mr Fawlty... 392 00:16:48,921 --> 00:16:52,441 I know you're very excited, you might even be having a nervous breakdown. 393 00:16:52,521 --> 00:16:54,161 I don't know. I'm no expert... 394 00:16:54,241 --> 00:16:56,681 You must really see this isn't going to work! 395 00:16:56,761 --> 00:16:58,521 - Get that on. - It isn't going to work. 396 00:16:58,601 --> 00:17:00,881 - What's the matter? - I'm not doing it! 397 00:17:00,961 --> 00:17:04,321 You want to be in a Marx Brothers film, that's your problem. I'm not interested. 398 00:17:04,401 --> 00:17:05,641 - Not interested? - No. 399 00:17:05,721 --> 00:17:07,161 - This is all your fault. - My fault? 400 00:17:07,241 --> 00:17:08,721 You said to say she was ill! 401 00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:11,561 You invited them to come up here. They didn't even want to! 402 00:17:11,641 --> 00:17:13,361 You be Sybil. You get into the bed. 403 00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:15,241 I'm too big! I've got a moustache! 404 00:17:15,321 --> 00:17:17,561 What's this supposed to be? A great big hairy bogey? 405 00:17:17,641 --> 00:17:20,441 It's something you get when you're puffed up! 406 00:17:20,881 --> 00:17:24,321 I'll ruin you. You'll never waitress in Torquay again. 407 00:17:24,761 --> 00:17:26,801 Waitress? That's a joke. 408 00:17:26,961 --> 00:17:28,761 I help out at reception. I clean the rooms. 409 00:17:28,881 --> 00:17:32,321 I deal with the tradesmen, I man the switchboard, I change the fuses, 410 00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:35,921 if you think my duties include impersonating members of your family, 411 00:17:36,001 --> 00:17:38,721 you have one more screw loose than I thought. 412 00:17:38,801 --> 00:17:40,321 I'm not doing it. Do you understand? 413 00:17:40,401 --> 00:17:42,761 You get yourself out of it. It's nothing to do with me. 414 00:17:42,841 --> 00:17:44,361 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 415 00:17:44,801 --> 00:17:46,081 (GASPING) 416 00:17:55,641 --> 00:17:57,521 A hundred for the car. 417 00:17:59,281 --> 00:18:00,641 All right. 418 00:18:01,361 --> 00:18:02,361 - Now! - What? 419 00:18:02,441 --> 00:18:03,761 - Now! - Now? 420 00:18:03,841 --> 00:18:05,361 (KNOCK AT DOOR) 421 00:18:08,561 --> 00:18:09,681 Hello. 422 00:18:09,761 --> 00:18:10,961 - Is not possible. - What? 423 00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,521 Is not possible for me. Please come. 424 00:18:12,601 --> 00:18:14,761 - What is it? - It's Terry. Please come. 425 00:18:14,841 --> 00:18:18,121 He tell me I not know how to make a paella. 426 00:18:18,201 --> 00:18:19,681 - He tell me... - You tell him... 427 00:18:19,761 --> 00:18:23,441 I tell him paella is Spanish, not cockney stinking eel pie! 428 00:18:23,681 --> 00:18:25,841 I make paella like my mama... 429 00:18:25,921 --> 00:18:27,041 I'm not interested. 430 00:18:27,121 --> 00:18:28,761 My mama's recipe is big in Barcelona. 431 00:18:28,841 --> 00:18:30,521 - Go away. - Please, you come! 432 00:18:30,601 --> 00:18:33,681 He called me ignorant wog motherboy crump. 433 00:18:33,761 --> 00:18:34,881 Let go of me. 434 00:18:34,961 --> 00:18:36,441 - REG: Basil? - Yes? 435 00:18:36,521 --> 00:18:38,081 You tell Terry let you alone. 436 00:18:38,161 --> 00:18:39,321 - Basil? - Yes, Reg. 437 00:18:39,401 --> 00:18:40,921 Go on. Go away. 438 00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:42,641 Not you, Reg. 439 00:18:42,721 --> 00:18:44,721 MANUEL: Is big in Barcelona. 440 00:18:44,801 --> 00:18:47,961 - Are we supposed to come up now? - In a moment, Reg. 441 00:18:48,041 --> 00:18:49,801 No, come on up now. 442 00:18:50,921 --> 00:18:54,561 She's just touching up the worst bits. 443 00:18:54,841 --> 00:18:56,201 How is she feeling? 444 00:18:56,321 --> 00:19:00,121 I woke her and told her that you'd come over and she's very pleased. 445 00:19:00,201 --> 00:19:02,161 But she's very weak and her throat... 446 00:19:02,241 --> 00:19:03,921 She has great difficulty expressing herself. 447 00:19:04,001 --> 00:19:05,601 (GUESTS SIGHING) 448 00:19:05,921 --> 00:19:07,481 Makes a change. 449 00:19:09,521 --> 00:19:11,961 She'll be out to see you in a moment. She's pretty quick with the ol'... 450 00:19:12,041 --> 00:19:13,761 She's not bothering to make up for us, is she? 451 00:19:13,841 --> 00:19:16,001 No, no, no. Just, you know... 452 00:19:18,961 --> 00:19:20,761 She asked me to thank you and to say how very much 453 00:19:20,841 --> 00:19:22,361 she's looking forward to seeing you all. 454 00:19:22,441 --> 00:19:24,001 That's nice. 455 00:19:24,081 --> 00:19:26,921 She can speak a little, then? 456 00:19:28,121 --> 00:19:30,321 Not really, no. I see what you mean. 457 00:19:30,441 --> 00:19:34,441 She wrote that down on one of the postcards that she keeps by the side of the bed. 458 00:19:34,521 --> 00:19:36,121 Did she stamp it? 459 00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,121 Do you have an ashtray? 460 00:19:41,201 --> 00:19:42,441 Yes, I'll get one. 461 00:19:42,521 --> 00:19:45,521 - There's no need to... - No bother. Just a second. 462 00:19:55,841 --> 00:19:57,241 Mr Fawlty! 463 00:19:59,361 --> 00:20:02,281 He put mince in it. He put bloody mince in it. 464 00:20:02,361 --> 00:20:03,521 Look what you've done! 465 00:20:03,601 --> 00:20:04,961 (GASPS) Sorry! Sorry! 466 00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:07,081 I tell him paella is fish dish. 467 00:20:07,161 --> 00:20:09,041 - Go away! - What I do? 468 00:20:09,121 --> 00:20:10,321 Arriba! Vamos! 469 00:20:10,401 --> 00:20:11,401 (MANUEL SCREAMING) 470 00:20:13,881 --> 00:20:16,441 - This is fun, isn't it? - Roger! 471 00:20:16,561 --> 00:20:21,561 Who wants to go to the boozer or play golf, when you can come to one of Basil's do's? 472 00:20:21,641 --> 00:20:23,521 Come on, Roger. 473 00:20:23,601 --> 00:20:26,521 It can't be easy for him with Sybil lying there ill. 474 00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,361 - You know what I think about that? - What? 475 00:20:29,601 --> 00:20:30,641 Shh! 476 00:20:31,321 --> 00:20:33,361 Here we are. I brought some nuts. 477 00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,841 You shouldn't have. 478 00:20:34,921 --> 00:20:36,361 If you could just take the ashtray. 479 00:20:36,441 --> 00:20:37,881 - Oh! - Sorry. 480 00:20:37,961 --> 00:20:40,161 - Never mind. - I'll get some more. 481 00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:41,841 - We've got the crisps. - I don't mind. 482 00:20:41,921 --> 00:20:44,881 - VIRGINIA: The crisps will be lovely. - Really? 483 00:20:44,961 --> 00:20:47,361 - Crisp, Alice? - Thank you. 484 00:20:47,441 --> 00:20:48,881 - Arthur, would you like... - Not for me. 485 00:20:48,961 --> 00:20:50,761 - Would you like a crisp? - Thank you. 486 00:20:50,841 --> 00:20:52,561 Hold them a moment. I'll get a brush. 487 00:20:52,641 --> 00:20:54,121 A "Basil brush." 488 00:20:54,201 --> 00:20:55,681 BASIL: Ha! Ha! Very good! 489 00:20:55,761 --> 00:20:57,201 Broom, broom! 490 00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:59,841 Roger, what did you mean? 491 00:20:59,921 --> 00:21:02,641 They've had a row. She's refused to come down. 492 00:21:02,721 --> 00:21:05,441 - Roger! - He's embarrassed her into seeing us. 493 00:21:05,521 --> 00:21:07,321 BASIL: I'm not interested! 494 00:21:07,401 --> 00:21:08,761 I'm not interested. 495 00:21:08,841 --> 00:21:10,481 (MANUEL SCREAMING) 496 00:21:12,161 --> 00:21:14,561 Don't you bother. Leave it to me. 497 00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:17,201 Basil? 498 00:21:18,681 --> 00:21:21,481 Basil, perhaps she's ready now? 499 00:21:22,001 --> 00:21:24,921 Oh, yes. Good idea. I'll just have a look. 500 00:21:28,121 --> 00:21:30,641 Not quite. Nearly. 501 00:21:32,321 --> 00:21:34,081 Anyone care for another crisp? 502 00:21:34,161 --> 00:21:35,321 No, no. 503 00:21:36,601 --> 00:21:38,561 Have you got a choc ice? 504 00:21:39,481 --> 00:21:41,521 I'll put them there, just help yourselves. 505 00:21:41,601 --> 00:21:44,481 - Nice carpet, Bas. - Thank you. A bit worn now. 506 00:21:44,561 --> 00:21:47,241 I thought that was part of the pattern. 507 00:21:47,841 --> 00:21:50,761 - Nice paper, Basil. - We got it to go with the carpet. 508 00:21:50,841 --> 00:21:52,521 - To go with it? - That's right, Roger. 509 00:21:52,601 --> 00:21:55,241 One of them will have to go. My money's on the carpet. 510 00:21:55,321 --> 00:21:56,401 Please! 511 00:21:56,481 --> 00:21:58,481 You read a lot of Oscar Wilde, do you? 512 00:21:58,561 --> 00:22:00,841 I don't know if you've ever seen the moulding up there... 513 00:22:00,921 --> 00:22:02,121 (CRISPS CRUNCHING) 514 00:22:02,201 --> 00:22:05,241 - Oh, dear! - It's all right. I'll clean it up. 515 00:22:05,521 --> 00:22:07,041 What time's the main feature? 516 00:22:07,121 --> 00:22:10,481 Morning, Fawlty. Lovely day for a round of golf. 517 00:22:10,561 --> 00:22:11,721 Morning, Major. Yes. 518 00:22:11,801 --> 00:22:15,321 - Anyone care to make up a four? - No, we're going to see Sybil. 519 00:22:15,401 --> 00:22:18,601 - Playing a match, is she? - No, she's ill. Really quite ill. 520 00:22:18,681 --> 00:22:20,441 She should be in bed. 521 00:22:20,521 --> 00:22:22,401 Yes, she is. We're going to see her. 522 00:22:22,481 --> 00:22:25,241 Another lot in there with her, is there? 523 00:22:25,321 --> 00:22:28,401 May I introduce Major Gowen, our oldest resident? 524 00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,841 - Good morning, Major. - Delighted to meet you. 525 00:22:30,921 --> 00:22:32,241 Welcome to Torquay. 526 00:22:34,401 --> 00:22:35,601 How do you do? 527 00:22:35,681 --> 00:22:37,761 BASIL: She's ready now. Come on in. 528 00:22:37,841 --> 00:22:39,081 Not you. 529 00:22:40,481 --> 00:22:44,321 ALICE: Sybil? VIRGINIA: Hello, darling, don't try and speak. 530 00:22:44,401 --> 00:22:46,321 KITTY: The gang's here. ALICE: Sorry you're not well. 531 00:22:46,401 --> 00:22:47,481 KITTY: Such a shame. 532 00:22:47,561 --> 00:22:49,721 VIRGINIA: We thought we'd come wish you happy anniversary. 533 00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:50,881 ARTHUR: Happy anniversary! 534 00:22:50,961 --> 00:22:51,921 (CLATTERING) 535 00:22:52,041 --> 00:22:54,641 VIRGINIA: What's happened? ARTHUR: Reg has fallen over. You all right, Reg? 536 00:22:54,721 --> 00:22:55,721 REG: Done my ankle. 537 00:22:55,801 --> 00:22:57,041 ALICE: Oh, dear. ROGER: You all right, Reg? 538 00:22:57,121 --> 00:22:59,521 VIRGINIA: Careful! KITTY: It's so dark in here. 539 00:22:59,601 --> 00:23:01,681 BASIL: Bloody light's not working. REG: I tripped over something. 540 00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:02,761 (CLANGING) 541 00:23:02,841 --> 00:23:04,561 BASIL: Who's that? KITTY: It's me. 542 00:23:04,641 --> 00:23:06,441 ALICE: It's Kitty! VIRGINIA: Where are you, dear? 543 00:23:06,521 --> 00:23:09,001 REG: Can't we have some light in here? BASIL: All right, hang on. 544 00:23:09,081 --> 00:23:12,041 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 545 00:23:12,121 --> 00:23:13,241 BASIL: Okay. 546 00:23:13,321 --> 00:23:15,281 ROGER: Now the light's on we can see the screen. 547 00:23:15,361 --> 00:23:18,161 BASIL: Oh, dear. VIRGINIA: Are you all right, Kitty? 548 00:23:18,241 --> 00:23:19,521 (KITTY SQUEALS) 549 00:23:19,601 --> 00:23:21,121 You shouldn't have gone to all this trouble. 550 00:23:22,081 --> 00:23:25,481 Come on up here. You both all right? Come on round there. 551 00:23:25,561 --> 00:23:27,681 You can see her from there. 552 00:23:27,801 --> 00:23:29,921 Is everything all right? Here she is. 553 00:23:30,001 --> 00:23:31,321 Hello, Sybil. 554 00:23:31,401 --> 00:23:32,441 (ALL AGREEING) 555 00:23:32,521 --> 00:23:34,961 ROGER: There's something there. I can see it moving. 556 00:23:35,041 --> 00:23:37,761 - It's a bit dark. - Her eyes are very sensitive. 557 00:23:37,841 --> 00:23:40,561 - She's got her glasses. - I'll just draw the curtains. 558 00:23:40,641 --> 00:23:42,161 Yes, I know. Trust me, dear. 559 00:23:42,241 --> 00:23:43,481 (MUFFLED) 560 00:23:46,561 --> 00:23:47,721 There we are. Is that better? 561 00:23:47,801 --> 00:23:48,801 (ALL SIGHING) 562 00:23:48,881 --> 00:23:50,521 Happy anniversary. 563 00:23:50,601 --> 00:23:52,241 (ALL WISHING) 564 00:23:52,321 --> 00:23:54,401 ALICE: You poor dear. 565 00:23:55,481 --> 00:23:57,721 VIRGINIA: How are you feeling? 566 00:23:58,561 --> 00:24:00,521 Oh, shame. 567 00:24:00,601 --> 00:24:02,401 You're very swollen. 568 00:24:02,521 --> 00:24:03,841 (AGREEING) 569 00:24:04,721 --> 00:24:05,921 Her thighs. 570 00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:07,521 We brought you a cake. 571 00:24:07,601 --> 00:24:08,681 VIRGINIA: Yes. 572 00:24:08,761 --> 00:24:10,401 Have a bit, dear. 573 00:24:10,481 --> 00:24:11,961 (BASIL CHATTERING) 574 00:24:12,041 --> 00:24:13,681 (MUFFLED GRUNTING) 575 00:24:14,481 --> 00:24:16,561 (CHUCKLING) Fifteen years, eh? 576 00:24:16,641 --> 00:24:18,281 Happy anniversary. 577 00:24:18,441 --> 00:24:20,241 (ALL CONGRATULATING) 578 00:24:21,121 --> 00:24:23,041 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 579 00:24:23,441 --> 00:24:25,601 I think she's feeling a little tired now. 580 00:24:25,681 --> 00:24:27,681 Yes, all that waving would wear anyone out. 581 00:24:27,761 --> 00:24:30,281 Perhaps we'd better all... 582 00:24:30,761 --> 00:24:33,401 What's in her mouth? That white stuff? 583 00:24:33,561 --> 00:24:36,521 Just foam. From the excitement. 584 00:24:37,561 --> 00:24:39,041 Fifteen years, eh? 585 00:24:39,121 --> 00:24:40,921 (VEHICLE APPROACHING) 586 00:24:41,481 --> 00:24:42,561 Aghh! 587 00:24:42,641 --> 00:24:44,401 What is it? 588 00:24:44,481 --> 00:24:47,601 I just remembered something downstairs. You stay here, have a chat with Polly... 589 00:24:47,681 --> 00:24:50,001 Sybil! Sybil! Shan't be a moment! 590 00:24:50,361 --> 00:24:53,081 A chat? Does anyone know semaphore? 591 00:24:57,241 --> 00:24:58,481 Hello, dear. 592 00:24:58,561 --> 00:25:00,881 I came back for my clubs. I'm not staying. 593 00:25:00,961 --> 00:25:02,721 Oh, aren't you? Okay. 594 00:25:03,281 --> 00:25:04,361 What? 595 00:25:04,681 --> 00:25:06,281 I'm sure you know best. 596 00:25:06,361 --> 00:25:08,761 You don't even want me to, do you? 597 00:25:09,681 --> 00:25:11,121 What's that? 598 00:25:12,521 --> 00:25:15,761 Fifteen years I've been with you! When I think what I might have had. 599 00:25:15,841 --> 00:25:17,961 Fifteen years. 600 00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:19,601 (BASIL SIGHING) 601 00:25:19,801 --> 00:25:21,001 You want me to go, don't you? 602 00:25:21,081 --> 00:25:24,001 No, but you've obviously made your mind up. 603 00:25:24,761 --> 00:25:27,041 - I won't forget this. - Won't you, dear? 604 00:25:27,121 --> 00:25:28,481 No, I won't. 605 00:25:29,801 --> 00:25:32,161 I'm going now. I think it's best. 606 00:25:32,241 --> 00:25:33,801 All right, dear. 607 00:25:35,481 --> 00:25:37,201 (CRYING) Bye, Basil. 608 00:25:37,401 --> 00:25:38,921 Cheerio, dear. 609 00:25:39,961 --> 00:25:41,561 Drive carefully. 610 00:25:42,081 --> 00:25:43,841 REG: Get well soon. ARTHUR: Look after yourself. 611 00:25:43,921 --> 00:25:47,361 We'll have a little party when you're feeling better. 612 00:25:47,521 --> 00:25:50,201 I don't like leaving you like this. 613 00:25:50,961 --> 00:25:54,201 Let me just have a little feel. Just to see if... 614 00:25:55,761 --> 00:25:58,281 Don't be frightened. I'm not going to hurt you. 615 00:25:58,361 --> 00:25:59,441 (POLLY WHIMPERING) 616 00:25:59,521 --> 00:26:02,081 I'll just feel your glands. 617 00:26:02,441 --> 00:26:04,241 Don't be silly, Sybil. 618 00:26:04,321 --> 00:26:06,881 Just trust me. It's for your own good. 619 00:26:06,961 --> 00:26:08,601 Don't be silly... Aghh! 620 00:26:08,681 --> 00:26:09,841 (VIRGINIA GROANING) 621 00:26:09,921 --> 00:26:11,041 What's going on? 622 00:26:11,121 --> 00:26:13,321 She hit me, Basil! 623 00:26:13,401 --> 00:26:14,481 What? 624 00:26:14,561 --> 00:26:17,281 I was trying to examine her. She lashed out. 625 00:26:17,361 --> 00:26:19,081 Don't hit our friends. 626 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:21,401 I know you're not feeling 100%, but control yourself. 627 00:26:21,481 --> 00:26:22,801 I'm sorry, she's not herself today. 628 00:26:22,881 --> 00:26:27,401 The doctor will be over here soon. I'll give you a call, tell you what he says. 629 00:26:27,481 --> 00:26:29,761 Anyone care for another drink? 630 00:26:30,081 --> 00:26:33,041 - We ought to be going. - That would be quite nice. 631 00:26:33,121 --> 00:26:34,561 (VIRGINIA CRYING) 632 00:26:34,801 --> 00:26:36,041 (SYBIL CRYING) 633 00:26:36,121 --> 00:26:41,001 They're all the same, dear. They're all the same. Believe me. 634 00:26:41,081 --> 00:26:42,961 Oh, I know. 635 00:26:43,201 --> 00:26:45,241 Now you forget all about it. 636 00:26:45,321 --> 00:26:49,121 We're going to have a nice game of golf and go out to dinner. 637 00:26:50,161 --> 00:26:51,641 Did you get your clubs? 638 00:26:51,961 --> 00:26:53,881 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 639 00:26:59,561 --> 00:27:03,201 Awfully nice to have seen you all. Thanks for coming over. 640 00:27:04,001 --> 00:27:05,481 Not at all. 641 00:27:05,561 --> 00:27:07,841 We must do this more often. When they're fit again. 642 00:27:07,921 --> 00:27:10,081 Sorry about all the injuries. 643 00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:14,041 Perhaps when Sybil's better, we can all get together. 644 00:27:19,841 --> 00:27:22,961 How extraordinary. We were just talking about you. 645 00:27:23,041 --> 00:27:25,401 Basil Fawlty. We met once at a fete. 646 00:27:25,521 --> 00:27:29,401 Let me show you where it is. How is the north? Have you been there recently? 647 00:27:30,121 --> 00:27:31,641 (BOTH GRUNTING) 648 00:27:34,001 --> 00:27:36,041 (TERRY AND MANUEL ARGUING) 649 00:27:37,881 --> 00:27:40,441 I'll explain everything in a moment. 650 00:27:40,521 --> 00:27:42,281 (UTENSILS CLANGING) 651 00:27:42,801 --> 00:27:44,281 (BOTH ARGUING) 652 00:27:47,281 --> 00:27:48,441 (BASIL EXCLAIMS) 653 00:27:48,561 --> 00:27:51,601 What a coincidence. She's thinking of buying one of our fridges. 654 00:27:51,681 --> 00:27:54,921 Lovely to have seen you, and sorry about the ankle. 655 00:27:55,121 --> 00:27:57,681 Yes, keep the head back. 656 00:27:59,081 --> 00:28:00,481 (CHATTERING) 657 00:28:01,441 --> 00:28:02,801 Great fun. 658 00:28:07,441 --> 00:28:08,841 BASIL: Whew. 659 00:28:09,841 --> 00:28:11,321 Piece of cake. 660 00:28:11,761 --> 00:28:13,761 Now comes the tricky bit. 49506

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