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1
00:00:00,210 --> 00:00:02,210
Larry David is back
in the news again.
2
00:00:02,211 --> 00:00:03,795
That's right, the co-creator
of Seinfeld
3
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:05,797
has returned
to his contentious ways,
4
00:00:05,881 --> 00:00:07,883
this time in the retail arena.
5
00:00:07,966 --> 00:00:10,260
Here's NBC's Josh Mankiewicz
with more.
6
00:00:10,344 --> 00:00:12,888
Look, we've all experienced
bad service before,
7
00:00:12,971 --> 00:00:15,224
but for most of us, there's
not much you can do about it.
8
00:00:15,307 --> 00:00:17,017
Maybe write a negative
Yelp review,
9
00:00:17,100 --> 00:00:19,144
or maybe you just don't
go back to the place.
10
00:00:19,228 --> 00:00:22,231
But Larry David has chosen
a different path.
11
00:00:22,314 --> 00:00:24,107
This is Mocha Joe's,
12
00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,486
a small coffee shop serving
the Westside of Los Angeles,
13
00:00:27,569 --> 00:00:30,155
and this is Latte Larry's.
14
00:00:30,239 --> 00:00:32,783
Why two coffee shops
right next to each other?
15
00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:35,661
We went to the man himself
for answers.
16
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,913
I was wronged.
I was mistreated.
17
00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:39,998
I ordered a cup
of coffee next door,
18
00:00:40,082 --> 00:00:43,001
at this Mocha Joe's,
and, Josh,
19
00:00:43,085 --> 00:00:45,379
the coffee is cold.
20
00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:48,507
I politely asked for
another cup of coffee.
21
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:51,093
He banned me from the store.
I couldn't live with it.
22
00:00:51,176 --> 00:00:53,971
So you're operating this place
just out of spite?
23
00:00:54,054 --> 00:00:56,348
Yeah.
It's a spite store.
24
00:00:56,431 --> 00:00:59,017
I called him an old, bald nut.
I mean, I cop to that.
25
00:00:59,101 --> 00:01:00,435
But the guy comes in here,
26
00:01:00,519 --> 00:01:02,104
complains about the tables,
complains about the coffee.
27
00:01:02,187 --> 00:01:03,689
Do you have
wobbly tables?
28
00:01:03,772 --> 00:01:05,857
Eh, one or two. But what's the big deal?
You put your foot on it.
29
00:01:05,941 --> 00:01:07,484
Nobody else is complaining.
30
00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,944
If he apologized,
31
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:11,363
would you get out of
the coffee business?
32
00:01:11,446 --> 00:01:13,574
If it was a deep,
heartfelt apology,
33
00:01:13,657 --> 00:01:15,617
with maybe a little tear--
34
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:18,453
"Larry, my scones
are like muffins."
35
00:01:18,537 --> 00:01:20,080
That would have to be
included, of course.
36
00:01:20,163 --> 00:01:23,000
Okay, Larry says that
if you would just apologize...
37
00:01:23,083 --> 00:01:25,127
- (laughs)
- ...he could get out of business.
38
00:01:25,210 --> 00:01:27,921
Apologize? Me? Never.
A ban is a ban.
39
00:01:28,005 --> 00:01:30,340
You ever think that
maybe the problem is,
40
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,758
you were complaining
too much?
41
00:01:31,842 --> 00:01:34,803
I don't like to tear people down.
I want to help.
42
00:01:34,886 --> 00:01:36,722
Look, this pocket square
you got going, there,
43
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:38,223
it looks out of place.
44
00:01:38,307 --> 00:01:40,142
That's for some
English dandy.
45
00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:41,393
It's not
for a journalist.
46
00:01:41,476 --> 00:01:42,894
You don't think
that's kind of insulting?
47
00:01:42,978 --> 00:01:44,521
No, not in the least.
48
00:01:44,605 --> 00:01:47,399
Hey, if you told me you didn't
like my jacket or something,
49
00:01:47,482 --> 00:01:48,817
well, I,
I wouldn't care.
50
00:01:48,900 --> 00:01:51,445
Actually, I, I really
don't like your jacket.
51
00:01:52,029 --> 00:01:53,530
Oh, is that so?
52
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:57,284
And while Larry was the first
to open a spite store,
53
00:01:57,367 --> 00:01:59,911
he's since started a trend
here in Hollywood,
54
00:01:59,995 --> 00:02:02,164
with other celebrities
following suit,
55
00:02:02,247 --> 00:02:03,582
like Jonah Hill,
56
00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:05,959
who's now operating
a spite deli.
57
00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:07,878
Hill: So, you know,
I used to go to Irv's Deli,
58
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,047
right next door,
two, three times a week.
59
00:02:10,672 --> 00:02:13,425
And I found a hair
in my sandwich.
60
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:14,926
- Not your hair?
- No.
61
00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:17,179
This was a gray hair.
It wasn't my hair.
62
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:19,431
And this guy Irv's going,
"Oh, it's yours."
63
00:02:19,514 --> 00:02:21,141
And I'm, like,
what can I do, you know?
64
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,977
I, I can't sleep. I'm taking four
or five Ambien to get to sleep,
65
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,896
'cause all I see is
this guy Irv's face.
66
00:02:25,979 --> 00:02:29,983
- So what changed? - What changed
was I had seen Latte Larry's.
67
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:31,985
The idea of a spite store's
such a brilliant idea.
68
00:02:32,069 --> 00:02:33,362
I'm gonna open
a spite deli.
69
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,197
Mankiewicz:
What started off with spite
70
00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:37,616
has now become
a passion project.
71
00:02:37,699 --> 00:02:39,409
Thanks for dining
with us.
72
00:02:40,035 --> 00:02:41,578
Three dollars?
73
00:02:41,661 --> 00:02:45,040
And you're turning down acting
and directing gigs for this?
74
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:46,333
What's left for me
in Hollywood?
75
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:48,418
Win some award
or something, you know?
76
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,546
Any time I see a customer walk in
here that used to go to Irv's,
77
00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:55,175
it's like my own tiny little
human Oscar walking in here.
78
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:56,468
So this is your life now?
79
00:02:56,551 --> 00:02:57,636
I might actually open
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00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:58,887
a spite deli out in New York.
81
00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:01,390
There was a spot
on 42nd Street
82
00:03:01,473 --> 00:03:04,309
that was a bit disrespectful
that I'm looking at taking out.
83
00:03:04,393 --> 00:03:08,480
Jonah Hill is not the only
celebrity with spite on his mind.
84
00:03:08,563 --> 00:03:10,774
This is Ray's Exotic Birds,
85
00:03:10,857 --> 00:03:12,818
and this is Sean's.
86
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:14,444
It's become the place
87
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:18,031
to get a macaw,
or a hummingbird nester.
88
00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:21,159
- (birds squawking)
- I had always wanted a talking bird.
89
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,828
So I go to Ray,
90
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,830
just next door,
91
00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,832
and he sells me the bird.
92
00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,626
And the bird doesn't talk.
It just sort of grunts.
93
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:32,462
So I go back to return it.
He says, "No returns."
94
00:03:32,546 --> 00:03:34,214
I said, "Bullshit."
95
00:03:34,297 --> 00:03:36,717
'Cause he knew,
he knew it was a mute bird.
96
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,511
And I'm on a kind
of slow burn,
97
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:41,304
not knowing
quite what to do.
98
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:43,765
Then Larry opens up
the coffee place,
99
00:03:43,849 --> 00:03:46,143
and it was like,
ding, ding, ding.
100
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,645
Sean's Exotic Birds.
101
00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,689
It put Ray right
out of business.
102
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,234
Here, this is a hyacinth
macaw, from Brazil.
103
00:03:54,317 --> 00:03:55,652
Would you like
to hold him?
104
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,737
Sure.
105
00:03:56,820 --> 00:03:58,280
Does all the time
you're spending here
106
00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:00,198
take away from,
you know, acting?
107
00:04:00,282 --> 00:04:04,119
I was never a very,
Zen sort of personality,
108
00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:07,122
but I find myself very,
very calm now.
109
00:04:07,205 --> 00:04:09,082
I think, you know,
it's the birds.
110
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- (loud squawk)
- (screams): Shut up!
111
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,335
(squawks)
112
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,670
So the next time you see
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00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,757
two similar stores
right next to each other,
114
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there's a pretty good chance one
of 'em's doing it out of spite.
115
00:04:21,136 --> 00:04:23,388
Savannah and Hoda,
back to you.
116
00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:25,615
(theme music playing)
117
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Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
118
00:04:34,941 --> 00:04:36,860
- Larry: Aah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Seiderman: It hurts right there?
119
00:04:36,943 --> 00:04:39,529
- Now we're gonna bend it. - Anyway,
the guy in the motorized wheelchair,
120
00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,239
he's on line at my store--
121
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,908
- Aah, that's plenty. Yeah.
- Right there. Okay.
122
00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:45,577
And all of a sudden,
he gets beep panic,
123
00:04:45,660 --> 00:04:47,579
- and rolls right into me.
- Seiderman: Unbelievable.
124
00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,123
Okay, so here's the bottom line
with your knee. Okay?
125
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:52,334
- Larry: Yeah.
- You have a tear in your meniscus.
126
00:04:52,417 --> 00:04:55,003
You know, if you want to fix this thing
once and for all, you need surgery.
127
00:04:55,086 --> 00:04:56,546
- Uh-huh.
- All right? I go in there,
128
00:04:56,630 --> 00:04:58,924
I, uh, I repair the tear
in your meniscus,
129
00:04:59,007 --> 00:05:00,467
you're back home
the very same day.
130
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:01,676
You'll be in bed
for about a week.
131
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:03,595
Okay, then we'll get
you on crutches.
132
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,806
Then after about two months
of intensive everyday rehab,
133
00:05:05,889 --> 00:05:07,933
you'll be back to normal,
good as new.
134
00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:10,018
- How does that sound?
- Not so great.
135
00:05:10,101 --> 00:05:11,561
You could do other techniques,
but you're gonna be
136
00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,980
right back in this chair
in a few months, I guarantee it.
137
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:18,151
What if I got a...
138
00:05:18,235 --> 00:05:20,195
second opinion?
139
00:05:20,862 --> 00:05:22,781
- Why?
- Just to see...
140
00:05:22,864 --> 00:05:25,075
what somebody else
might have to say about it.
141
00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,910
If you want to get a second
opinion, by all means.
142
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,204
It's your right.
I encourage it.
143
00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:31,581
Oh, okay.
So we're cool, then?
144
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:33,833
Yeah, Larry.
I'm cool.
145
00:05:33,917 --> 00:05:35,961
Get your second opinion.
Let me know how it goes.
146
00:05:36,044 --> 00:05:37,712
You know, a lot of people
are gonna say to me,
147
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:39,005
"You should get
a second opinion."
148
00:05:39,089 --> 00:05:41,299
So I can say, "Yeah.
I got a second opinion."
149
00:05:41,383 --> 00:05:43,343
So it's just so you can
tell your friends you did it.
150
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,886
It's not even saying it
to my friends.
151
00:05:44,970 --> 00:05:46,471
It's saying it
to my late mother.
152
00:05:46,555 --> 00:05:48,682
Okay, while here in my head,
153
00:05:48,765 --> 00:05:49,933
"Larry, what are you doing?
154
00:05:50,016 --> 00:05:52,102
Get a second opinion.
Are you stupid?"
155
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:54,104
- Why do I need to hear that?
- Yeah, you don't wanna hear that.
156
00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:57,482
- No. Even though she's dead, I need
to shut her up. - Got it. All right.
157
00:05:57,566 --> 00:06:00,068
Um, you can validate
your parking up front, there.
158
00:06:00,151 --> 00:06:01,861
Careful. Uh...
159
00:06:04,573 --> 00:06:05,782
Hey!
160
00:06:05,991 --> 00:06:07,617
- Larry!
- Larry: Joey!
161
00:06:07,701 --> 00:06:09,536
- How's it going?
- Not terrible.
162
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,162
How's your, uh,
coffee shop doing?
163
00:06:11,246 --> 00:06:12,914
- Doing quite well.
- Really?
164
00:06:12,998 --> 00:06:16,209
- Yeah. - You lookin' for,
uh, you know, any people?
165
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:19,254
- You're looking for-- - I, I am. I've
been really unhappy where I am,
166
00:06:19,337 --> 00:06:21,673
- and I'm looking for something new.
- Joey.
167
00:06:21,756 --> 00:06:24,217
- You think I'm gonna turn
down a Funkhouser? - Larry!
168
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,344
- Yeah, of course. Come on.
- Yeah, that'd be great.
169
00:06:26,428 --> 00:06:28,972
Thank you, really. Terrific.
I can't wait to start.
170
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:32,350
- All right, well, maybe even, uh,
maybe even tomorrow. - Perfect.
171
00:06:32,434 --> 00:06:33,810
- Joey?
- Mm?
172
00:06:33,893 --> 00:06:35,270
What's going on
over here?
173
00:06:35,353 --> 00:06:37,939
Oh, I'm just waiting
for it to get hot.
174
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:39,691
You're waiting
for it to get hot?
175
00:06:39,774 --> 00:06:42,360
- I don't think you respect the drought.
- I do respect the drought.
176
00:06:42,444 --> 00:06:44,279
- Do you respect the drought, Joey?
- I do. I really do.
177
00:06:44,362 --> 00:06:46,656
I do respect the drought. I--
178
00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:48,617
- Whoa.
- What?
179
00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:49,701
What?
180
00:06:49,784 --> 00:06:52,120
- Woo! Whoa!
- Okay.
181
00:06:52,203 --> 00:06:53,580
Joey!
182
00:06:53,663 --> 00:06:54,789
Larry.
183
00:06:54,873 --> 00:06:55,874
Yikes.
184
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,542
I mean, I support
your transitioning,
185
00:06:57,626 --> 00:07:00,462
but you gave yourself
quite a large penis there.
186
00:07:00,545 --> 00:07:02,172
Yeah, I wanted to,
187
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:06,217
you know, follow in the
Funkhouser tradition of penises.
188
00:07:06,301 --> 00:07:07,802
Can you handle, uh,
something like that?
189
00:07:07,886 --> 00:07:10,430
- That's, that's enormous.
- It is, yeah.
190
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:13,058
But, I mean, it seems like
a lot to, to lug around.
191
00:07:13,141 --> 00:07:15,393
- No, it isn't actually.
- But--
192
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:17,312
You've tried it out
on some dames?
193
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,565
- I've had no complaints about it.
No complaints. - No complaints.
194
00:07:20,649 --> 00:07:22,192
Okay. All right.
195
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,569
- Enjoy your big penis.
- (laughs): I am.
196
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:28,031
- And, uh, you know, go to town with it.
- Thank you, Larry. That's--
197
00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,658
- We'll be in touch about the store.
- Yeah. I'll call--
198
00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,493
I'll call you,
and you just let me know
199
00:07:31,576 --> 00:07:33,536
- when I can start. I can't wait.
- Larry: Fantastic.
200
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:36,164
- All right. Thank you, Larry. Okay.
- Excited to have you.
201
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:41,294
- Larry: Hey! Whoa!
- Look who I brought.
202
00:07:41,378 --> 00:07:43,505
- Country club shit right here.
- Yeah.
203
00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:45,423
How you, uh, doing?
What's going on?
204
00:07:45,507 --> 00:07:49,052
Uh, I just saw Joey
Funkhouser's new penis.
205
00:07:49,135 --> 00:07:51,262
- Who?
- Jeff: Marty Funkhouser's daughter
206
00:07:51,346 --> 00:07:53,264
has transitioned
into being a man.
207
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:54,474
- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.
208
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:57,978
Had the surgery,
and, uh, it's big.
209
00:07:58,061 --> 00:07:59,312
- Leon: Mm.
- How big?
210
00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,106
- Really big.
- Wow.
211
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:03,608
Yeah. He gave himself
a giant penis.
212
00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,276
- Did you see the balls? - No.
213
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,113
Completely taken with the penis
that I didn't get to, you know,
214
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:09,823
look at the scrotum at all.
215
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,450
So wait a minute. This is what
happens at country clubs?
216
00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,619
White guys walking around showing
each other their Johnson?
217
00:08:14,703 --> 00:08:16,538
No, no, no.
I saw it in the bathroom.
218
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:17,706
He was wearing
a terrycloth robe.
219
00:08:17,789 --> 00:08:19,124
He turned
and the robe opened up.
220
00:08:19,207 --> 00:08:20,792
People don't tie robes properly.
221
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,962
- They do not. - They're very
cavalier about a robe, you know?
222
00:08:24,045 --> 00:08:26,089
You can't just fling
one side over the other.
223
00:08:26,172 --> 00:08:27,882
- Cinch your robe.
- Cinch your robe.
224
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:29,718
- Right. - I don't see how he
can wear underwear with that thing.
225
00:08:29,801 --> 00:08:31,803
It's so big there's no way
he can fit in underwear.
226
00:08:31,886 --> 00:08:33,304
- You can't.
- Right?
227
00:08:33,388 --> 00:08:35,557
Everybody in the big Johnson
community knows that.
228
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,851
You can't wear underwear.
I don't wear underwear.
229
00:08:37,934 --> 00:08:40,311
- There's a big Johnson community?
- Of course there is.
230
00:08:40,395 --> 00:08:43,982
We meet once a month. We talk about the
pitfalls of having a big-ass Johnson.
231
00:08:44,065 --> 00:08:45,984
I've had several at the house.
232
00:08:46,067 --> 00:08:49,320
You... You've had a big Johnson
meeting at, at the house?
233
00:08:49,404 --> 00:08:51,948
When you're fuckin' out of town, the
whole community shows the fuck up,
234
00:08:52,032 --> 00:08:54,617
and we sit around the table,
and just talk.
235
00:08:54,701 --> 00:08:56,661
- Do you have officers?
- Fuck, yeah, we do.
236
00:08:56,745 --> 00:08:58,246
Who's the president?
237
00:08:58,329 --> 00:09:00,832
My man,
Horse Cock Williams.
238
00:09:00,915 --> 00:09:03,168
Look, I don't have
a big penis,
239
00:09:03,251 --> 00:09:06,463
but I'd like to see if I could
join the big Johnson community.
240
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:08,715
How are you getting in
the big Johnson community
241
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:10,091
without a big Johnson?
What--
242
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,218
I know somebody there
who could vouch for me.
243
00:09:12,302 --> 00:09:14,387
What do you mean, vouch for you?
They, they, they gotta look at it!
244
00:09:14,471 --> 00:09:16,890
You can't just show up. You gotta
flash that motherfucker at the door.
245
00:09:16,973 --> 00:09:19,893
- Yeah. See?
- Well, what happens if I get caught?
246
00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,811
They'll throw you out of there
by your little-ass Johnson.
247
00:09:21,895 --> 00:09:24,064
Larry: But maybe this would
be a good thing for Joey,
248
00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,941
because it's way too big,
and he can't handle it.
249
00:09:27,442 --> 00:09:29,444
I foresee...
250
00:09:29,527 --> 00:09:32,739
big problems with that penis.
251
00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:34,199
Big.
252
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:35,366
To be honest,
I always tell people
253
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,701
they can fix up the house.
I don't--
254
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:39,037
Hey, Larry!
Hey!
255
00:09:39,120 --> 00:09:41,539
Larry David. Hey.
256
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:42,916
Great news.
257
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:46,753
I am the listing agent
of the house next to yours.
258
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:48,213
- Oh, really? You're selling it?
- Yeah.
259
00:09:48,296 --> 00:09:51,007
Ka-ching! Ka-ching!
(chuckles)
260
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,051
- Make some money on that one, right?
- Yeah.
261
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:55,053
Okay. You know,
I should buy it myself,
262
00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,721
so I can avoid
asshole neighbors.
263
00:09:56,805 --> 00:09:59,891
- (laughs) I like that.
- You, you would never buy it, would you?
264
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:02,602
It's a little bit out of my, uh,
prince range, you know, right now.
265
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:03,895
Oh. That's good.
266
00:10:03,978 --> 00:10:05,188
'Cause you're the
last person in the world
267
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,815
I want living next door to me.
268
00:10:06,898 --> 00:10:08,733
Clients love me, Larry.
269
00:10:08,817 --> 00:10:11,361
(Larry whistling)
270
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:14,239
- (whistling continues)
- (siren blaring)
271
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:17,158
(fire truck horn honks)
272
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:23,289
(horn blaring)
273
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,043
(siren continues)
274
00:10:41,141 --> 00:10:43,685
(chuckling)
275
00:10:44,686 --> 00:10:47,605
(indistinct chatter)
276
00:10:47,689 --> 00:10:49,399
- Mm-hmm.
- How's the coffee?
277
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:50,942
- It's good.
- It's good.
278
00:10:51,025 --> 00:10:52,402
Yeah. Good. You know,
279
00:10:52,485 --> 00:10:54,904
it's interesting, 'cause,
uh, I was in my car earlier,
280
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:57,198
and all of a sudden,
I hear a siren,
281
00:10:57,282 --> 00:10:59,117
and I look in
the rearview mirror
282
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:00,910
and there's a fire truck
behind me, and I...
283
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:03,621
Wow, a fire! And I better get
over to the side of the road.
284
00:11:03,705 --> 00:11:05,415
Those guys are really
in a hurry.
285
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:08,459
I pull over to the side of the road,
and it... shwoo! Goes past me.
286
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:11,546
And then I pull in here,
and I see the fire truck.
287
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,048
Where's the fire?
288
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:16,134
- (fireman clears throat)
- Larry: Where...
289
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:18,928
Where is the fire?
290
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:20,805
- We needed coffee.
- Oh, oh.
291
00:11:20,889 --> 00:11:22,182
- We don't do it often.
- No.
292
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,142
- Like, it's not a frequent thing.
- Yeah, no.
293
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:26,144
You abused your siren.
294
00:11:26,227 --> 00:11:28,813
- Abused our siren?
- You're siren abusers.
295
00:11:28,897 --> 00:11:32,108
I completely get it. I had a
handicapped placard once.
296
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,360
And I could only imagine
what it's like to have a siren.
297
00:11:34,444 --> 00:11:36,446
'Cause that handicapped placard,
that was fantastic.
298
00:11:36,529 --> 00:11:38,573
Enjoy the coffee.
299
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:40,658
Hey!
300
00:11:40,742 --> 00:11:43,161
- Look at this. Joey Funkhouser.
- Hey, Larry.
301
00:11:43,244 --> 00:11:44,495
- How you doing?
- Larry: Hey.
302
00:11:44,579 --> 00:11:45,955
- So have you shown him the ropes?
- Joey: Yeah.
303
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,498
- We're gettin' it down. Yeah.
- Fast learner.
304
00:11:47,582 --> 00:11:49,334
- Oh, yeah?
- The only question I have is,
305
00:11:49,417 --> 00:11:50,919
where's the, uh,
the tip jar?
306
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:52,503
Oh, no. No tip jar.
307
00:11:52,587 --> 00:11:54,422
- No tipping?
- No, that's, that's demeaning.
308
00:11:54,505 --> 00:11:56,257
It turns us into...
beggars.
309
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,843
- Yeah? You think? - Yeah. We might as
well be outside with a, with a cup.
310
00:11:58,927 --> 00:12:01,012
- Uh-oh. Know what happens now?
- It's a-- What?
311
00:12:01,095 --> 00:12:02,597
- No.
- (chuckles)
312
00:12:02,680 --> 00:12:04,307
- Ah. Look at that, see?
- Ah. (laughs)
313
00:12:04,390 --> 00:12:06,017
Oh, boy. This,
this is a big moment.
314
00:12:06,100 --> 00:12:07,560
- Joey: That's it? - Leon: Oh,
the big moment. Yes, indeed.
315
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,687
- Let's go to the back. To the storeroom?
- Um-hmm.
316
00:12:09,771 --> 00:12:11,105
- And get changed there.
- Okay. Great. Right.
317
00:12:11,189 --> 00:12:12,982
Hey, as long as you're going
to the storeroom,
318
00:12:13,066 --> 00:12:16,027
- show him how to charge the, uh, the
self-heating cups. - Yes, indeed.
319
00:12:16,110 --> 00:12:19,072
I kind of talked Larry into
putting up "no lamping" signs
320
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:21,449
all over the fuckin' place. People
would stay too fucking long.
321
00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:38,299
- Are you in line?
- What?
322
00:12:38,633 --> 00:12:41,427
- Are you in line for coffee?
- Oh. N-No. No.
323
00:12:41,511 --> 00:12:43,596
Sorry, we haven't met,
have we?
324
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:46,766
- No. Uh-uh. No.
- Okay.
325
00:12:46,849 --> 00:12:48,810
No, we haven't.
326
00:13:01,572 --> 00:13:03,408
Okay. I'm Alice.
327
00:13:03,491 --> 00:13:05,785
Um, I'm... Buck.
328
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:08,079
- Nice to meet you, Buck.
- Nice to meet you.
329
00:13:08,162 --> 00:13:10,248
Leon: Hey, Larry!
Where are the aprons?
330
00:13:10,331 --> 00:13:11,749
They're behind the Purell!
331
00:13:11,833 --> 00:13:14,252
Leon: I can't find
the fuckin' aprons!
332
00:13:14,335 --> 00:13:16,462
Are you...
Latte Larry?
333
00:13:16,546 --> 00:13:17,755
- Yes!
- Oh.
334
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:19,465
Buck's my nickname.
That's what my friends call me.
335
00:13:19,549 --> 00:13:21,759
How'd you get to Buck
from Larry?
336
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,469
I like to watch
a lot of Westerns.
337
00:13:23,553 --> 00:13:26,347
What's your favorite?
338
00:13:26,431 --> 00:13:28,266
Blue Skies Over the Canyon.
339
00:13:28,349 --> 00:13:30,476
Well, I just moved
in the neighborhood, so...
340
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:32,854
- I'll see you around.
- Oh, great.
341
00:13:32,937 --> 00:13:35,773
Um, hi. Can I get
a medium latte--
342
00:13:35,857 --> 00:13:37,692
(continues indistinctly)
343
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,652
Larry:
You know, it's so crazy.
344
00:13:39,736 --> 00:13:43,156
She's completely normal, but she
just doesn't seem to remember... me,
345
00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,324
or ever working for me,
or anything to do with me.
346
00:13:45,408 --> 00:13:49,245
So she suffered memory loss
from the choking on the scone?
347
00:13:49,328 --> 00:13:51,122
And that got me out of the
lawsuit, the whole thing.
348
00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:54,375
- (knocking on door)
- Oh, that's Tara and Will.
349
00:13:55,877 --> 00:13:57,795
All:
Hey!
350
00:13:57,879 --> 00:13:59,922
Oh, look, you're getting
bigger every minute!
351
00:14:00,006 --> 00:14:02,383
- I know, I know.
- Oh, my God. I have to touch it.
352
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,260
- (laughs) Please.
- Come on in.
353
00:14:04,343 --> 00:14:05,470
- Hello.
- Tara: Hello. Hi.
354
00:14:05,553 --> 00:14:07,180
I'm the Larry you've
heard so much about.
355
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:08,806
- Tara: Oh.
- Susie: Yes.
356
00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:10,391
- Tara: It's so nice to finally meet you.
- Hi.
357
00:14:10,475 --> 00:14:12,435
- How you doin'? Hi.
- Will.
358
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,686
Larry:
Will.
359
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:15,730
- Any minute now, I think, huh?
- Yeah.
360
00:14:15,813 --> 00:14:16,814
Yeah. Any minute.
361
00:14:16,898 --> 00:14:17,982
- Oh, boy.
- Susie: Jesus.
362
00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:19,650
You know, I impregnated
somebody once.
363
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:20,985
- Will: Yeah?
- Yeah.
364
00:14:21,069 --> 00:14:23,321
We broke up
in the abortion clinic.
365
00:14:23,404 --> 00:14:25,323
- How about that?
- Jeff: You've never told me that.
366
00:14:25,406 --> 00:14:27,116
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- Jeff: Wow.
367
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,576
Just so you know,
while you're here,
368
00:14:28,659 --> 00:14:30,369
- I don't know how to deliver a baby.
- Okay.
369
00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,746
How do you,
how do you induce labor?
370
00:14:31,829 --> 00:14:33,414
Can you scare someone
into labor?
371
00:14:33,498 --> 00:14:34,832
- I don't know.
- Larry: Is that possible?
372
00:14:34,916 --> 00:14:36,334
- I--
- Uh, maybe it's possible.
373
00:14:36,417 --> 00:14:37,794
I think it's something
we want to avoid.
374
00:14:37,877 --> 00:14:38,920
Why would you
wanna do that?
375
00:14:39,003 --> 00:14:40,046
A baby should come
376
00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:41,547
when it's naturally
supposed to come.
377
00:14:41,631 --> 00:14:43,049
Who needs Mr. Buttinski
over here?
378
00:14:43,132 --> 00:14:45,009
It's a hypothetical.
It's just a hypothetical.
379
00:14:45,093 --> 00:14:47,678
Let's say you had a bet
with a friend.
380
00:14:47,762 --> 00:14:49,180
You see a pregnant woman
who, uh--
381
00:14:49,263 --> 00:14:50,598
big pregnant woman
walking down the street--
382
00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:52,558
you make a $50 bet
with this friend,
383
00:14:52,642 --> 00:14:54,143
that you can induce labor
by scaring her.
384
00:14:54,227 --> 00:14:56,020
You go into the bushes,
she's walking down the street,
385
00:14:56,104 --> 00:14:57,522
and all of a sudden
you jump out. Aah!
386
00:14:57,605 --> 00:14:59,732
- Uh, you in the bushes?
- Yeah.
387
00:14:59,816 --> 00:15:01,651
For 50 bucks you're
going in the bushes?
388
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,778
Yeah, but it's hypothetical.
See if you can induce labor.
389
00:15:03,861 --> 00:15:05,404
Well, what happens if
she goes into labor?
390
00:15:05,488 --> 00:15:06,531
- Yeah, what happens if you win?
- Susie: Yeah.
391
00:15:06,614 --> 00:15:07,865
I, I'd drive her
to the hospital.
392
00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,576
Okay, let's say you're
driving her to the hospital,
393
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,620
and along the way
to the hospital,
394
00:15:12,703 --> 00:15:14,247
she starts giving birth
395
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,998
- in your car?
- Well, that's a problem.
396
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:18,251
You gotta really think
these hypotheticals out.
397
00:15:18,334 --> 00:15:19,877
'Cause they always
end poorly.
398
00:15:19,961 --> 00:15:21,212
Okay, I won't scare her.
399
00:15:21,295 --> 00:15:22,588
- Jeff: Okay.
- Susie: Yeah, thank you.
400
00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:24,799
So, I'm so glad you guys
finally came over.
401
00:15:24,882 --> 00:15:27,426
- Sorry we're late.
- Yeah, that's-- that's on me.
402
00:15:27,510 --> 00:15:29,846
I, you know, I refuse to
look at the phone, and like,
403
00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:31,556
I try and go off the watch.
I forget,
404
00:15:31,639 --> 00:15:33,057
and it always, like,
runs a little late.
405
00:15:33,141 --> 00:15:34,809
- Tara: Yeah, hard to guess it.
- You can't get that fixed?
406
00:15:34,892 --> 00:15:36,853
I've tried,
but, you know,
407
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,397
- it always just, like, goes back, you know?
- I know a guy who can fix that,
408
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,315
easily. He's, he's great.
409
00:15:41,399 --> 00:15:43,442
- You sure?
- KL Jeweler, yeah.
410
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:44,861
- Oh, yeah?
- Oh, really?
411
00:15:44,944 --> 00:15:46,612
I drive by there every day.
I can just bring it in.
412
00:15:46,696 --> 00:15:48,739
- Ah, all right. Yeah.
- That's so nice.
413
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:49,949
I guarantee it.
414
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,242
Yeah, it's my
grandfather's watch.
415
00:15:51,325 --> 00:15:52,410
Gave it to me, like,
right before he died.
416
00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,245
Oh, yeah?
You should get it fixed.
417
00:15:54,328 --> 00:15:55,830
And believe me,
if anybody can fix it,
418
00:15:55,913 --> 00:15:57,081
- it's this guy. He's great.
- Tara: Oh, good.
419
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:58,291
- Will: I appreciate that.
- Susie: Aah!
420
00:15:58,374 --> 00:15:59,625
Where are my manners?
421
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:00,877
You want something to drink?
422
00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,336
That would be great.
I'm, I'm...
423
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:03,796
really craving ginger ale.
424
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:05,423
- Oh, we have ginger ale. Right, Jeff?
- Tara: Do you?
425
00:16:05,506 --> 00:16:08,342
I cannot stock up enough ginger ale.
I love ginger ale.
426
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,553
Hey, how 'bout--
I'll get in on the ginger ale.
427
00:16:10,636 --> 00:16:13,264
- You sure you got enough?
- Oh, no, we have tons of ginger ale.
428
00:16:13,347 --> 00:16:14,682
Susie: Two ginger ales, Jeffrey.
429
00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:16,225
- Thank you, Jeff. Thank you.
- Thank you.
430
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:18,728
So, um, do you know the
sex of the, of the child?
431
00:16:18,811 --> 00:16:20,521
We're gonna have
a little baby boy.
432
00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,607
- Larry: A little baby boy. How about that?
- Susie: Oh, so cute! Yeah.
433
00:16:22,690 --> 00:16:25,776
Have you thought about the,
um, the skin color at all?
434
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,904
- I'm sorry?
- Larry: You know. The tone?
435
00:16:27,987 --> 00:16:30,448
Would you prefer it's,
it's a, it's a little darker?
436
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:32,783
I would imagine you might
prefer it to be a little darker,
437
00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:34,243
as opposed to lighter, no?
438
00:16:34,327 --> 00:16:35,995
Well, I mean, I've never
even thought about it.
439
00:16:36,078 --> 00:16:38,789
- Larry: Huh.
- But, I guess like, darker, I guess.
440
00:16:38,873 --> 00:16:40,625
- Larry: Yeah, I would think. Right?
- What?
441
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:41,834
Yeah, that makes sense.
442
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:43,503
- (laughs) Uh, I...
- What?
443
00:16:43,586 --> 00:16:45,129
- You'd prefer him to be darker?
- Prefer it--
444
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:46,923
I mean, if someone's asking me,
like, if I had to choose,
445
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:48,382
- I'd say, like darker.
- Why are you choosing?
446
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:50,343
You'd probably like it
a little lighter maybe, no?
447
00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:52,803
Tara: No, I, I
don't, I don't think
448
00:16:52,887 --> 00:16:54,514
I want my baby to be lighter.
449
00:16:54,597 --> 00:16:56,265
I haven't thought
about that at all.
450
00:16:56,349 --> 00:16:57,975
- I'm surprised that you've
thought about it. - Oh, yeah.
451
00:16:58,059 --> 00:17:00,269
I mean, well, I,
I hadn't thought about it,
452
00:17:00,353 --> 00:17:01,521
but asked the question,
I mean--
453
00:17:01,604 --> 00:17:03,314
I know, but what you
could have said,
454
00:17:03,397 --> 00:17:04,607
I don't have a preference,
455
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:06,400
but you said you'd
prefer him to be darker.
456
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,319
- You don't have a preference at all?
- No, I don't have a preference.
457
00:17:08,402 --> 00:17:10,196
Say somebody put
a gun to your head.
458
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:12,990
Said, "Do you want you baby
to be lighter or darker?"
459
00:17:13,074 --> 00:17:14,408
What would you choose?
460
00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:17,078
Why is someone holding a gun
to my head and asking me
461
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:20,331
- what shade I would prefer my son to be?
- It's a hypothetical.
462
00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,500
- I don't know, see--
- Why is somebody putting a gun to her head?
463
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:25,044
He wants to-- He wants to find
out what your preference is.
464
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:27,129
So you're walking
down the street with Will,
465
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,090
and he snatches you into
the backseat of the car,
466
00:17:29,173 --> 00:17:30,341
and now he's got
a gun to your head.
467
00:17:30,424 --> 00:17:32,218
"Do you want a lighter
or a darker baby?
468
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:34,345
- What shade? What shade?"
- Get away from me!
469
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,763
What color is the guy
holding the gun?
470
00:17:35,846 --> 00:17:37,181
He's mocha.
Right down the middle.
471
00:17:37,265 --> 00:17:38,766
- Right down the middle.
- Fifty-fifty.
472
00:17:38,849 --> 00:17:41,018
- Do you want it lighter or darker?
- (stammers): I...
473
00:17:41,102 --> 00:17:43,604
I would say
on the lighter side.
474
00:17:43,688 --> 00:17:45,940
- Ah.
- Mm-hmm. See?
475
00:17:46,023 --> 00:17:48,985
- So you have a preference.
- But I had a gun to my head.
476
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:50,111
You didn't have
a gun to your head.
477
00:17:50,194 --> 00:17:51,404
We're sitting
in a nice living room.
478
00:17:51,487 --> 00:17:52,738
We're getting ginger ales.
479
00:17:52,822 --> 00:17:54,532
Will: I'm proud to be black.
I think you'd be
480
00:17:54,615 --> 00:17:56,200
- proud to be black, too.
- Oh, of course--
481
00:17:56,284 --> 00:17:57,493
Okay, I'm sorry.
482
00:17:57,577 --> 00:17:59,328
- I don't feel--
- I'm not wrong.
483
00:17:59,412 --> 00:18:01,205
- I don't feel good. Okay.
- Okay. I'm--
484
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,707
- I'm so sorry.
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
485
00:18:02,790 --> 00:18:04,834
- Thank you. Nice to meet you.
- Yeah. Thank you so much.
486
00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:07,211
- Okay, thanks for coming.
- Thank you very much for your hospitality.
487
00:18:07,295 --> 00:18:08,879
- Sorry about all this.
- Aw.
488
00:18:08,963 --> 00:18:12,258
- Thanks for having us.
- Larry: I'll get that watch fixed.
489
00:18:13,593 --> 00:18:15,803
What the fuck is
the matter with you?
490
00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:17,638
What?
491
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,807
Larry:
Let me ask you something.
492
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:23,227
What is so hard about being a matador?
I don't get it.
493
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:25,062
- They have the cape, right?
- Right.
494
00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,897
The bull seems to run
into the cape.
495
00:18:26,981 --> 00:18:28,399
They don't run into the guy.
496
00:18:28,482 --> 00:18:30,526
- How hard is it to go like that?
- Right.
497
00:18:30,610 --> 00:18:31,902
- Ow. Aah.
- Oh.
498
00:18:31,986 --> 00:18:33,112
- It's right there.
- Yeah.
499
00:18:33,195 --> 00:18:34,196
Here's the deal.
500
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,741
You do have a tear
in the meniscus.
501
00:18:36,824 --> 00:18:38,451
But it's the outer edge
of the meniscus,
502
00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,786
and that area will heal itself.
503
00:18:40,870 --> 00:18:43,080
I think some rest,
some ice,
504
00:18:43,164 --> 00:18:46,751
some ibuprofen. Uh,
I'd put you on a PT course.
505
00:18:46,834 --> 00:18:48,044
Physical therapy.
You can come here,
506
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,754
or you can, um, have 'em
come to your home.
507
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:51,547
- Whatever you'd like. Yeah.
- What?
508
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:54,759
What a relief. I just was
led to believe that I--
509
00:18:54,842 --> 00:18:56,218
I was gonna need surgery.
510
00:18:56,302 --> 00:18:59,722
- Oh. Were we a second opinion?
- Yeah.
511
00:19:00,222 --> 00:19:03,434
Do you mind me asking
who the, uh, other doctor is?
512
00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,227
It's Dr. Seiderman.
513
00:19:05,311 --> 00:19:06,604
Good doctor.
514
00:19:06,687 --> 00:19:07,813
Oh, you know him?
515
00:19:07,897 --> 00:19:10,024
We've crossed paths
a time or two.
516
00:19:10,107 --> 00:19:11,567
Yeah.
517
00:19:11,651 --> 00:19:14,945
You are gonna tell
the other doctor about me.
518
00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:16,280
Yeah. I already did.
519
00:19:16,364 --> 00:19:17,365
- Oh, you did?
- Yeah.
520
00:19:17,448 --> 00:19:19,784
Did you mention me by name?
521
00:19:19,867 --> 00:19:22,453
- No.
- Okay.
522
00:19:22,536 --> 00:19:24,622
(sighs) I don't know how
I'm gonna tell him.
523
00:19:25,039 --> 00:19:27,541
(sighs)
It's gotta be done.
524
00:19:27,625 --> 00:19:30,544
(siren blaring)
525
00:19:36,342 --> 00:19:37,718
No patient in there?
526
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:39,136
No. No patient.
527
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:40,971
Just a lot of traffic.
528
00:19:41,055 --> 00:19:44,225
Really. So you just
put the siren on?
529
00:19:44,308 --> 00:19:45,643
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- Really?
530
00:19:45,726 --> 00:19:47,144
Another siren abuser.
531
00:19:47,228 --> 00:19:48,646
It's not abuse. I--
532
00:19:48,729 --> 00:19:50,398
It's more of,
it's more use.
533
00:19:50,481 --> 00:19:51,691
If word gets out
534
00:19:51,774 --> 00:19:53,818
that all of you people
are just putting sirens on
535
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:55,319
to get to places faster,
536
00:19:55,403 --> 00:19:57,780
nobody's gonna pull over to
the side of the road anymore.
537
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,573
And then you know
what's gonna happen?
538
00:19:59,657 --> 00:20:01,492
You're gonna have
some dead people.
539
00:20:01,575 --> 00:20:03,786
- Gotta get these inside, sir.
- Ugh. Of course!
540
00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,413
Enjoy your coffee.
541
00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,458
Uh... (clears throat)
542
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,670
According to this doctor, uh...
543
00:20:12,753 --> 00:20:16,632
he said I didn't need
to get the... surgery.
544
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:17,842
No surgery.
545
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,677
He said I just needed
some physical therapy,
546
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:21,887
and some ibuprofen.
547
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:24,932
And everything will just magically
return to, uh, to health, huh?
548
00:20:25,015 --> 00:20:27,643
- Yeah. - So, I think it's
worth giving a shot, no?
549
00:20:27,727 --> 00:20:28,936
- And, uh...
- Yeah?
550
00:20:29,019 --> 00:20:30,187
...who was the doctor?
551
00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:32,189
Uh, Dr. Fuller.
552
00:20:32,273 --> 00:20:33,607
- Mark Fuller.
- Yeah.
553
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:35,985
Hmm. Nice doctor.
554
00:20:36,068 --> 00:20:37,319
Good energy.
555
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,238
I know how it goes.
556
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,157
- Well, good luck with your, uh--
- Aw, come on.
557
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,284
Don't... don't be mad. Come on.
558
00:20:43,367 --> 00:20:44,869
Mad? I'm not mad.
I'm just--
559
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:46,871
You're...
you're a little peeved.
560
00:20:46,954 --> 00:20:48,664
Well, good luck
in your journey, Larry.
561
00:20:48,748 --> 00:20:50,583
And, uh, I wish you
and your knee all the best.
562
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:52,960
I have a few patients
I need to see, so...
563
00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:54,962
if you don't mind.
564
00:20:56,046 --> 00:20:58,257
Okay, let's do the surgery.
565
00:20:58,340 --> 00:21:00,801
No. I'm not, I'm not
doing the surgery, Larry.
566
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,012
- What? Come on. Come on, we'll
do the surgery. - I'm not doing--
567
00:21:03,095 --> 00:21:04,555
You'll get no surgery from me.
568
00:21:04,638 --> 00:21:06,807
Nothing. Nada. Not a stitch.
Do you understand me?
569
00:21:06,891 --> 00:21:08,809
I don't want anything
to do with you or your knee.
570
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,561
- Come on, I said I'll get the surgery.
- No!
571
00:21:10,644 --> 00:21:12,062
- Let me just get the surgery.
- There's no surgery.
572
00:21:12,146 --> 00:21:13,814
- Don't be like that! I'm sorry!
- Like what, Larry? No.
573
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,400
- Sorry's not good enough.
- Why are you acting like such a baby?
574
00:21:16,484 --> 00:21:18,652
I'm the baby? You're the one going
around town getting a bunch of opinions!
575
00:21:18,736 --> 00:21:20,696
Okay, you know what? I don't
need any more opinions, okay?
576
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:23,908
Just be on the record, though,
that I said I'd get the surgery.
577
00:21:23,991 --> 00:21:25,576
- It's on the record, Larry. Thank you.
- You don't wanna give it to me.
578
00:21:25,659 --> 00:21:27,077
You blew it!
I don't know why I ever
579
00:21:27,161 --> 00:21:28,204
went with you
in the first place.
580
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,414
You sicken me!
I'm leaving.
581
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,082
Okay?
And you'll regret it!
582
00:21:32,166 --> 00:21:35,294
Dominic will validate
your parking at the front desk!
583
00:21:49,850 --> 00:21:52,561
Hi. Welcome to MK--
584
00:21:52,645 --> 00:21:53,604
Hey.
585
00:21:53,687 --> 00:21:55,606
- Larry.
- Mila?
586
00:21:55,689 --> 00:21:56,899
- Yeah.
- What are you doing?
587
00:21:56,982 --> 00:21:58,317
- What is this?
- This is my store.
588
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,652
What do you mean,
your store?
589
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:02,446
I opened up this store
because of you.
590
00:22:02,530 --> 00:22:03,572
Get this, Larry.
591
00:22:03,656 --> 00:22:06,492
KL Jewelers fucked me over.
592
00:22:06,575 --> 00:22:08,160
I went in, I bought a watch.
593
00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,371
I started wearing it, I started
noticing I was late everywhere I went.
594
00:22:10,454 --> 00:22:12,456
I would go to like, a meeting, and
I was, like, five minutes late.
595
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:14,875
So I walked in,
I asked for a refund...
596
00:22:14,959 --> 00:22:16,418
They said no.
597
00:22:16,502 --> 00:22:17,753
Bastards.
598
00:22:17,837 --> 00:22:19,630
So I said,
"Fuck you, KL Jewelers,"
599
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,216
and I opened up
MK Jewelers.
600
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:24,134
Spite store, Larry.
601
00:22:24,218 --> 00:22:25,803
Because of you.
602
00:22:25,886 --> 00:22:27,137
I can't tell you how--
603
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:29,348
- how pleased I am to hear this.
- Well, thank you.
604
00:22:29,431 --> 00:22:30,808
- Anyways, Larry!
- Yeah.
605
00:22:30,891 --> 00:22:32,184
- All right. Yeah.
- You came in here. What's up?
606
00:22:32,268 --> 00:22:34,228
- Well, I got this watch--
- Yeah.
607
00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,604
I was gonna bring
it over there.
608
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,189
- Gone now.
- Gone now, huh?
609
00:22:37,273 --> 00:22:39,525
- What are you gonna do?
- Here you go.
610
00:22:39,942 --> 00:22:41,360
Well, what do you
want me to do?
611
00:22:41,443 --> 00:22:42,444
Fix it.
612
00:22:42,528 --> 00:22:44,113
Well, I don't--
I don't do that, Larry.
613
00:22:44,196 --> 00:22:45,823
You can't fix the watch?
614
00:22:45,906 --> 00:22:48,367
No. Sorry.
I'm just here for spite.
615
00:22:48,450 --> 00:22:50,870
- Mm.
- Yeah.
616
00:22:50,953 --> 00:22:52,746
Jeff:
Will and Tara?
617
00:22:52,830 --> 00:22:55,165
Still not talking.
Still not talking.
618
00:22:55,249 --> 00:22:57,293
- All because of me?
- All because of you.
619
00:22:57,376 --> 00:22:59,003
- Who cares what shade?
- Yeah.
620
00:22:59,086 --> 00:23:01,422
What do you think, like, ten years
down the road he's gonna go,
621
00:23:01,505 --> 00:23:03,507
"You know, he was never
as dark as I wanted."
622
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:05,342
- (laughing)
- (chuckles)
623
00:23:05,426 --> 00:23:07,386
- You know that's never happening.
- Yeah.
624
00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:09,430
Hey, you know what?
I still have his watch.
625
00:23:09,513 --> 00:23:11,181
- You're kidding me.
- No.
626
00:23:11,265 --> 00:23:13,100
I couldn't get it fixed. Look.
627
00:23:13,183 --> 00:23:15,269
So now you gotta carry that thing
with you everywhere you go?
628
00:23:15,352 --> 00:23:17,354
- I gotta find a jeweler.
- Oh, jeez.
629
00:23:17,438 --> 00:23:19,023
Hey, hey, fellas.
630
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:20,232
Oh, my God.
631
00:23:20,316 --> 00:23:22,276
Frank: You watch,
uh, Channel 5 news?
632
00:23:22,359 --> 00:23:24,904
Well, there's a real smokeshow
who does the weather on there,
633
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,488
and, uh,
we had a date last night.
634
00:23:26,572 --> 00:23:30,034
Mm. Where'd you go, to the
asylum where she's staying?
635
00:23:30,117 --> 00:23:32,161
Go fuck yourself, Larry.
636
00:23:32,953 --> 00:23:36,165
I've never felt such antipathy
towards a bald man in my life.
637
00:23:36,248 --> 00:23:39,543
- He's a shanda for the bald.
- He's a shanda for the bald.
638
00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:42,504
(water running)
639
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,423
I'll be right back.
640
00:23:44,673 --> 00:23:46,008
Larry:
Aha!
641
00:23:46,091 --> 00:23:47,885
(chuckles)
There's the water police.
642
00:23:47,968 --> 00:23:49,261
- Aha!
- Right on cue.
643
00:23:49,345 --> 00:23:51,847
Larry: Look at this.
Disrespecting the drought again.
644
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:53,223
I'm, I'm about to shave.
645
00:23:53,307 --> 00:23:55,726
- Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
- Like you, you...
646
00:23:55,809 --> 00:23:57,436
you'd need the hot water
with the shaving.
647
00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,563
All right. Here's how you
save water when you shave.
648
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:01,565
- Yeah. Uh-huh.
- You put the water on,
649
00:24:01,649 --> 00:24:03,776
you rinse the blade, and
then you turn the water off.
650
00:24:03,859 --> 00:24:05,945
- Right.
- Then you, then you shave a little bit.
651
00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:07,738
- Yeah.
- Then you put the water on again.
652
00:24:07,821 --> 00:24:09,740
You rinse it out,
you turn it off.
653
00:24:09,823 --> 00:24:11,325
I appreciate
the shaving lesson.
654
00:24:11,408 --> 00:24:12,785
- Is that how you do it?
- That's how I do it, yeah.
655
00:24:12,868 --> 00:24:14,244
- All right, that'll be $10.
- Yeah.
656
00:24:14,328 --> 00:24:15,746
You know, I think there
are probably better ways
657
00:24:15,829 --> 00:24:17,498
to save water than
following me around here.
658
00:24:17,581 --> 00:24:20,668
- You're right, Joey. You're 100
percent right. - Exactly. Okay.
659
00:24:20,751 --> 00:24:23,837
- (chuckles)
- (water running)
660
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:29,677
(toilet flushes)
661
00:24:41,772 --> 00:24:43,565
(Larry groans)
662
00:24:50,322 --> 00:24:52,950
(indistinct chattering)
663
00:24:53,033 --> 00:24:54,827
Larry:
So, um...
664
00:24:55,869 --> 00:24:58,706
I found my watch...
(clicks tongue)
665
00:24:58,789 --> 00:25:00,541
...on the ground.
It's broken.
666
00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:03,127
I see that. That's,
uh, that's too bad.
667
00:25:03,210 --> 00:25:05,796
Any idea
what happened to it?
668
00:25:05,879 --> 00:25:08,340
- No. No idea.
- Ah, uh-huh.
669
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:11,677
- I'll tell you what I think, Joey.
- Yeah?
670
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:14,596
I think you turned abruptly,
your robe opened up,
671
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:16,223
and you knocked it over
with your big penis.
672
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:17,683
That's what I think happened.
673
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:20,060
Okay, I'm sorry. I knocked it over.
But it-- I just,
674
00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,312
I just turned around,
and I, I hit it.
675
00:25:22,396 --> 00:25:24,314
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
- I'm sorry, okay?
676
00:25:24,398 --> 00:25:27,818
But I, you know, I told you
it's a tough thing to handle.
677
00:25:27,901 --> 00:25:29,319
Accidents happen,
you know?
678
00:25:29,403 --> 00:25:30,863
- Accidents happen. Hey!
- Yeah.
679
00:25:30,946 --> 00:25:32,281
- No worries.
- Yeah.
680
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,074
- No worries. And listen, Joey...
- Yeah.
681
00:25:34,158 --> 00:25:37,036
- ...if you ever knock anything over
again with your penis... - Yeah.
682
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,746
...you can always
come to me.
683
00:25:38,829 --> 00:25:40,748
Thank you.
684
00:25:40,831 --> 00:25:42,249
Okay.
685
00:25:44,168 --> 00:25:47,212
- And cinch that robe, Joey.
- Okay, Larry.
686
00:25:48,547 --> 00:25:50,799
Uncle Freddy,
the Robust, uh, Select,
687
00:25:50,883 --> 00:25:52,468
just the way you like it--
extra hot and sweet.
688
00:25:52,551 --> 00:25:54,053
You're tremendous.
This is maybe
689
00:25:54,136 --> 00:25:55,679
the best I've ever had a
coffee brought to me.
690
00:25:55,763 --> 00:25:57,598
- No. Come on. Thank you.
- You're killing it, here.
691
00:25:57,681 --> 00:25:59,683
- Hey, Joey, do me a favor, will ya?
- Yeah. Yeah.
692
00:25:59,767 --> 00:26:01,977
- I knocked over some beans
in the storeroom. - Oh.
693
00:26:02,060 --> 00:26:03,979
- They're all over the floor.
- Of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
694
00:26:04,062 --> 00:26:05,439
- See you later. Okay.
- You're killing it here.
695
00:26:05,522 --> 00:26:06,857
- Hey.
- Hey.
696
00:26:06,940 --> 00:26:08,901
- He's doing a tremendous job.
- Yeah, he's doing great.
697
00:26:08,984 --> 00:26:10,611
- Speaking of Joey.
- Yeah.
698
00:26:10,694 --> 00:26:12,863
Knocked a watch
off the bathroom counter
699
00:26:12,946 --> 00:26:15,157
with his, with his giant
penis at the club.
700
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,993
Can't repair it. I knew that
penis was gonna cause trouble.
701
00:26:18,076 --> 00:26:20,204
It was an accident, all right?
Did he feel bad about it?
702
00:26:20,287 --> 00:26:21,580
- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Well, that's all that matters.
703
00:26:21,663 --> 00:26:22,873
He's not used to
moving around with it.
704
00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:24,333
- Yeah. Yeah.
- I can only imagine.
705
00:26:24,416 --> 00:26:26,376
You gotta break some eggs
to make an omelet, right?
706
00:26:26,460 --> 00:26:27,878
Gotta break
a couple watches to...
707
00:26:27,961 --> 00:26:29,379
know how to handle
a big cock.
708
00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:32,132
- Sure. - Anyway, you're terrific.
Congratulations.
709
00:26:32,216 --> 00:26:34,092
See you, Freddy.
710
00:26:37,971 --> 00:26:39,598
- Hey!
- Hi, Buck!
711
00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:41,725
Hi. Alice, right?
712
00:26:41,809 --> 00:26:43,227
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Yeah.
713
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,520
What can I do for you?
714
00:26:44,603 --> 00:26:46,563
Oh, I will have
a cappuccino to go, please.
715
00:26:46,647 --> 00:26:48,732
All right. Joey will
take it from here.
716
00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:50,609
Thank you.
717
00:26:50,692 --> 00:26:54,238
- Anything else? - Um, how are these?
I've never had one before.
718
00:26:54,321 --> 00:26:56,365
- Joey: Oh, the scones?
- Alice: The scone. Is it good?
719
00:26:56,448 --> 00:26:57,866
Joey: Oh, I think
they're great.
720
00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,827
- Joey: Mm.
- Mm.
721
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:10,170
- (Larry groaning)
- (Alice choking)
722
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,172
- Aah!
- (body thuds)
723
00:27:13,507 --> 00:27:15,092
You!
724
00:27:15,175 --> 00:27:18,470
- You!
- No! (stammering)
725
00:27:18,554 --> 00:27:21,181
Larry:
No! I didn't do anything!
726
00:27:28,188 --> 00:27:29,439
Oh, my God.
727
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:33,026
- Are you okay?
- I think so.
728
00:27:34,403 --> 00:27:38,240
- I'm Mocha Joe.
- I'm Alice.
729
00:27:38,323 --> 00:27:40,868
Why don't you come inside and sit down?
I'll get you a cup of coffee.
730
00:27:41,660 --> 00:27:43,245
Okay.
731
00:27:49,042 --> 00:27:51,837
- Larry: Did you guys make up?
- I mean, kind of.
732
00:27:51,920 --> 00:27:53,380
It's been rough.
733
00:27:53,463 --> 00:27:55,757
- Yeah, we've been fighting.
- Oh. So sorry.
734
00:27:55,841 --> 00:27:56,633
She's pissed at me.
735
00:27:56,717 --> 00:27:58,635
- Have a seat.
- Here?
736
00:27:58,719 --> 00:27:59,887
Yeah.
737
00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:01,471
Will: You know, like,
things you've said,
738
00:28:01,555 --> 00:28:02,931
it's not like you
don't mean them,
739
00:28:03,015 --> 00:28:04,975
it's just the type of stuff
you don't say.
740
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:07,019
You don't wanna
make her cry,
741
00:28:07,102 --> 00:28:09,897
but at the same time,
you're also not wrong,
742
00:28:09,980 --> 00:28:11,273
you know?
743
00:28:11,356 --> 00:28:12,858
Eh-- Are you okay?
744
00:28:12,941 --> 00:28:14,234
- Yeah.
- Okay.
745
00:28:14,318 --> 00:28:16,278
And like, like, race is
always gonna be an issue.
746
00:28:16,361 --> 00:28:19,156
- Like, it's a part of being in an interracial
relationship. - Yeah, yeah, of course.
747
00:28:19,239 --> 00:28:21,658
Like, and then, having
a baby is another--
748
00:28:21,742 --> 00:28:24,620
- You good? - Yeah.
What is this thing? It's like--
749
00:28:24,703 --> 00:28:27,873
half-chair, half-couch.
It's a like a furniture centaur.
750
00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:29,333
It's a daybed.
751
00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:31,418
I hope-- I... I never want
to blame hormones,
752
00:28:31,501 --> 00:28:34,379
'cause then that's just like a
typical overly masculine thing.
753
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:37,257
- Just sit down!
- Okay.
754
00:28:38,425 --> 00:28:40,052
(sighs)
755
00:28:40,135 --> 00:28:41,553
Oh, shoes okay
over there?
756
00:28:41,637 --> 00:28:43,305
I'd rather
you didn't.
757
00:28:43,931 --> 00:28:45,140
Thank you.
758
00:28:45,223 --> 00:28:46,558
Let me try that again.
759
00:28:46,642 --> 00:28:48,352
- (pillow thumps)
- Oh, fuck. Okay.
760
00:28:48,435 --> 00:28:51,063
So, Larry, do you have my watch?
761
00:28:51,146 --> 00:28:53,190
- I'm assuming that's why you
came over, yeah? - Yeah.
762
00:28:53,273 --> 00:28:54,900
So I brought it
into KL Jeweler,
763
00:28:54,983 --> 00:28:56,777
like I told you
I was going to,
764
00:28:56,860 --> 00:28:58,111
but it's closed up.
765
00:28:58,195 --> 00:28:59,947
A spite store took him
out of business.
766
00:29:00,030 --> 00:29:02,991
- Mila Kunis!
- These stupid spite stores.
767
00:29:03,075 --> 00:29:05,619
Do you at least have it, then,
if you didn't get it fixed?
768
00:29:07,788 --> 00:29:09,122
There you go.
769
00:29:10,499 --> 00:29:12,709
- Larry, what the hell?
- Larry: So sorry.
770
00:29:12,793 --> 00:29:14,461
What happened to this watch?
771
00:29:14,544 --> 00:29:19,257
The giant penis of a recent
sex-change recipient
772
00:29:19,341 --> 00:29:21,843
- knocked it off the counter.
- What?
773
00:29:21,927 --> 00:29:24,179
- I'm so sorry. - I should've
never trusted you with this,
774
00:29:24,262 --> 00:29:26,390
but I did. You took it,
and you got it broke.
775
00:29:26,473 --> 00:29:28,600
- That's your fault.
- I'll take 50 percent of the blame.
776
00:29:28,684 --> 00:29:30,185
Fifty percent goes
to that penis.
777
00:29:30,268 --> 00:29:32,562
Larry, this is an
irreplaceable watch.
778
00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,606
- Yeah. - My grandfather gave--
Stop squirming! Please!
779
00:29:34,690 --> 00:29:36,900
- Sorry. - This is my grandfather's watch.
I can't replace this.
780
00:29:36,984 --> 00:29:38,610
I was gonna give it
to my son.
781
00:29:38,694 --> 00:29:42,030
Just get a comfortable spot
and just stay there.
782
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:43,407
- Okay.
- (phone chimes)
783
00:29:43,490 --> 00:29:44,825
- Oh!
- I'm so sorry.
784
00:29:44,908 --> 00:29:47,202
Oh, my God.
Tara's having the baby.
785
00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:48,704
- What?
- I, I gotta go.
786
00:29:48,787 --> 00:29:50,205
Oh, hey, I'll drive you.
787
00:29:57,462 --> 00:30:00,465
Uh, excuse me.
Hey, uh, pardon me.
788
00:30:00,549 --> 00:30:01,967
My, my wife is
having a baby.
789
00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:04,094
- I'm Will Cooper.
- You're the husband. Come.
790
00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:06,471
She's been asking about you.
Everything's fine.
791
00:30:06,555 --> 00:30:08,557
- Okay.
- Larry: I'll be here.
792
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:10,726
- I thought I recognized you.
- Hey, Dr. Fuller.
793
00:30:10,809 --> 00:30:14,271
- How we doing, Larry? - Pretty good.
Pretty good. Oh, my God.
794
00:30:14,354 --> 00:30:15,564
- The knee.
- Yeah?
795
00:30:15,647 --> 00:30:17,065
It's, it's,
it's like a miracle.
796
00:30:17,149 --> 00:30:18,275
So just the PT, yeah?
797
00:30:18,358 --> 00:30:20,110
PT. Some massage.
Yeah.
798
00:30:20,193 --> 00:30:22,529
- Do you mind if I, I give it a squeeze?
- No, please.
799
00:30:24,031 --> 00:30:27,200
- Yeah, it's just there's no
swelling left. - Yeah. Amazing, right?
800
00:30:27,826 --> 00:30:29,911
Hi. How's it going?
801
00:30:29,995 --> 00:30:31,163
- Oh, boy.
- Larry: Oh.
802
00:30:31,246 --> 00:30:32,622
- Hey.
- Um...
803
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:34,624
- Ben.
- Dr. Fuller.
804
00:30:34,708 --> 00:30:36,918
- I know who it is. Yeah.
- Oh.
805
00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,796
- Just getting out of surgery?
- Consultation, actually.
806
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,673
- Oh. Surprising.
- Mm.
807
00:30:42,132 --> 00:30:44,051
What are you doing here, Larry?
Gettin' a third opinion?
808
00:30:44,134 --> 00:30:46,094
- Fuller: Okay.
- Oh, come on. Don't be like that.
809
00:30:46,178 --> 00:30:48,096
- Don't be like what? - He's getting
around great. He's happy.
810
00:30:48,180 --> 00:30:49,890
- Oh, yeah? You feelin' good, Larry?
- Yeah, I'm--
811
00:30:49,973 --> 00:30:51,808
- Knees holding up?
- Yeah, look. You know,
812
00:30:51,892 --> 00:30:54,519
- it's really good. Yeah. - Look at that.
Yeah. We'll see if that lasts.
813
00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:55,812
- Yeah.
- Um...
814
00:30:55,896 --> 00:30:57,564
- Hey. Uh, any of you guys know...
- Yeah.
815
00:30:57,647 --> 00:31:00,150
...where I can get
a, uh, a watch fixed?
816
00:31:00,233 --> 00:31:01,943
Yeah, my brother-in-law
owns a place on Pico.
817
00:31:02,027 --> 00:31:04,404
- Really? - He's the best in the business.
Thirty years' experience.
818
00:31:04,488 --> 00:31:05,739
What do you,
what do you think?
819
00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:08,867
- I actually have a guy, too.
- What? What do--
820
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,952
You think this dipshit knows
a better watch repairman
821
00:31:11,036 --> 00:31:14,164
- It's always so competitive with you.
- 30 years of experience on Pico!
822
00:31:14,247 --> 00:31:15,415
You know a better guy than that?
823
00:31:15,499 --> 00:31:17,000
I know three guys
better than Goldblatt!
824
00:31:17,084 --> 00:31:20,253
- Thirty years on Pico!
- The guy breaks watches for a living!
825
00:31:20,337 --> 00:31:21,755
- What do you know?
- Unbelievable!
826
00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:23,423
He's the best in the business!
827
00:31:23,507 --> 00:31:25,926
Mocha Joe:
You worked for Larry David?
828
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:28,470
Yeah. Um...
829
00:31:28,553 --> 00:31:30,055
Yeah, for a little bit, and...
830
00:31:30,138 --> 00:31:32,557
You know, he was just
so, like, weird and awful.
831
00:31:32,641 --> 00:31:35,227
He was pervy about-- I have
this tattoo here, and...
832
00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,521
he would always grab my hand,
and ask me what it meant...
833
00:31:37,604 --> 00:31:40,941
Mocha Joe: It's just the hand of
Buddha, with the Eye of Providence.
834
00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:43,610
Oh, my gosh.
Yeah, exactly.
835
00:31:43,693 --> 00:31:45,904
Yeah, well...
Sorry, I'm just like--
836
00:31:45,987 --> 00:31:47,864
It's all kind of
coming back to me,
837
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:51,034
'cause I had a bite of his scone,
it was like, crumbly and dry,
838
00:31:51,118 --> 00:31:52,536
and it got caught in my throat.
839
00:31:52,619 --> 00:31:54,037
They're terrible.
That's a scone.
840
00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:56,123
- I can't wait for you to try it.
- Okay.
841
00:31:57,124 --> 00:31:59,126
Oh, my gosh.
That's so moist.
842
00:31:59,209 --> 00:32:00,710
- Right? It's supposed to be moist.
- Yeah.
843
00:32:00,794 --> 00:32:02,379
This whole thing with the dry
scone, it drives me crazy.
844
00:32:02,462 --> 00:32:04,297
- This is really good.
- (chuckles)
845
00:32:04,381 --> 00:32:07,384
You think Larry David knows anything
about making a scone like that?
846
00:32:07,467 --> 00:32:09,719
I'm sorry. Uh, did
you say Larry David?
847
00:32:09,803 --> 00:32:11,096
Yeah, why? You know him?
848
00:32:11,179 --> 00:32:13,557
- He's an asshole, right?
- One of the biggest.
849
00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:14,975
Pull up a chair.
850
00:32:15,976 --> 00:32:17,477
So. How do you know Larry?
851
00:32:17,561 --> 00:32:21,189
Uh, from the club. But we
do not get along at all.
852
00:32:21,273 --> 00:32:22,691
Mocha Joe:
Welcome aboard.
853
00:32:22,774 --> 00:32:24,651
- Oh, my God.
- Mocha Joe: What's wrong?
854
00:32:24,734 --> 00:32:28,155
I just remembered I was gonna
sue him for sexual harassment.
855
00:32:28,238 --> 00:32:30,157
Mocha Joe:
What?
856
00:32:31,992 --> 00:32:34,161
- (baby coos)
- He's perfect.
857
00:32:34,244 --> 00:32:35,996
- He's absolutely...
- He's so--
858
00:32:36,079 --> 00:32:37,747
Hey, hey, hey.
859
00:32:37,831 --> 00:32:39,583
- Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Hey.
860
00:32:39,666 --> 00:32:42,085
Look, aw, look at--
This is so exciting!
861
00:32:42,169 --> 00:32:44,421
- Larry, uh, drove me.
- Oh.
862
00:32:44,504 --> 00:32:46,756
He was a complete mess.
He never would have made it.
863
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,301
- Thank you for driving me. - Thank you.
We appreciate that. Thank you.
864
00:32:49,384 --> 00:32:51,094
Larry:
Yeah. Very cute.
865
00:32:51,178 --> 00:32:52,554
- Tara: Oh, thank you.
- What's his name?
866
00:32:52,637 --> 00:32:54,264
- It's Kwame.
- It's Kwame.
867
00:32:54,347 --> 00:32:55,432
- Kwame.
- Mm-hmm.
868
00:32:55,515 --> 00:32:56,391
Nice name.
869
00:32:56,474 --> 00:32:57,767
- Oh, thank you.
- Thank you.
870
00:32:57,851 --> 00:32:59,060
- I think so, too.
- Yeah.
871
00:32:59,144 --> 00:33:01,813
A little-- A little
light for a Kwame, no?
872
00:33:01,897 --> 00:33:04,149
- What?
- A lot of names to pick, but--
873
00:33:04,232 --> 00:33:05,650
If he was a little
darker, maybe.
874
00:33:05,734 --> 00:33:08,028
- Yeah, can you go, please?
- You need to get out.
875
00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:10,697
- Thanks. Thank you for... Shh, shh!
- (Kwame fussing)
876
00:33:11,448 --> 00:33:13,283
Hey, any of you guys
want ginger ale?
877
00:33:13,366 --> 00:33:15,202
- Larry, get the fuck out.
- (whispers): Got it.
878
00:33:16,328 --> 00:33:18,622
You guys have
a good night.
879
00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:21,541
You know, if you wanna
take off, I can close up.
880
00:33:21,625 --> 00:33:22,834
- Really?
- Yeah.
881
00:33:22,918 --> 00:33:25,128
- You know how to do it?
- Yeah. Charge the cups,
882
00:33:25,212 --> 00:33:26,963
turn off the lights,
lock the doors.
883
00:33:27,047 --> 00:33:29,507
That's the one I always forget.
Lock the fuckin' door.
884
00:33:29,591 --> 00:33:31,676
Hey. We got that big Johnson
meeting tomorrow.
885
00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:33,595
- Okay. Thanks.
- Leon: Don't forget.
886
00:33:37,557 --> 00:33:40,519
- Pfft.
- (Leon harrumphs)
887
00:33:55,700 --> 00:33:57,911
- (soft smack)
- (cup thuds)
888
00:34:01,373 --> 00:34:02,624
(door closes)
889
00:34:06,503 --> 00:34:08,755
(beeping)
890
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:10,632
(flames whoosh)
891
00:34:16,263 --> 00:34:18,807
- (siren blaring)
- Larry: Oh.
892
00:34:19,599 --> 00:34:22,978
- (fire truck honks)
- Oh. Oh, really?
893
00:34:23,061 --> 00:34:26,481
I'm on to you.
It's not gonna happen.
894
00:34:27,774 --> 00:34:29,859
(horn blares)
895
00:34:30,443 --> 00:34:33,071
Abuse that siren all you want.
I'm not pulling over.
896
00:34:33,154 --> 00:34:35,448
(flames roaring)
897
00:34:36,783 --> 00:34:38,994
(siren wailing)
898
00:34:41,037 --> 00:34:42,998
- (horn blaring)
- (inaudible)
899
00:34:43,081 --> 00:34:45,250
You guys make me sick!
900
00:34:45,333 --> 00:34:48,378
(flames roaring)
901
00:34:48,461 --> 00:34:50,380
(clattering)
902
00:34:50,463 --> 00:34:52,632
(siren wailing)
903
00:34:55,468 --> 00:34:58,930
(flames whooshing)
904
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:02,267
Yeah, uh-huh.
905
00:35:02,350 --> 00:35:05,770
(horn blaring)
906
00:35:05,854 --> 00:35:08,315
Good luck!
Enjoy the coffee!
907
00:35:15,030 --> 00:35:17,365
Fireman:
Get a line on that fire!
908
00:35:19,075 --> 00:35:21,578
Excuse me, sir. You can't be this close.
It's not safe.
909
00:35:21,661 --> 00:35:23,246
No, no. It's my store!
910
00:35:23,330 --> 00:35:25,415
- Oh, jeez, I'm sorry.
- What the hell? What, what happened?
911
00:35:25,498 --> 00:35:27,792
We won't know until we've
got it under containment.
912
00:35:27,876 --> 00:35:30,003
I just wish we would have
gotten here sooner.
913
00:35:30,086 --> 00:35:32,756
Some asshole didn't
respect the siren.
914
00:35:32,839 --> 00:35:36,051
Hey! Let's get a ladder up
and ventilate the roof.
915
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:40,096
Mocha Joe:
No! No! What happened?
916
00:35:40,180 --> 00:35:41,264
Mocha Joe's!
917
00:35:41,348 --> 00:35:42,807
- What did you do?
- I didn't do anything.
918
00:35:42,891 --> 00:35:44,768
- What did you do?
- Hey, look, my store's burning, too!
919
00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:46,686
What do you think I did?
You think I burned my store down?
920
00:35:46,770 --> 00:35:47,937
First you open up
a spite store,
921
00:35:48,021 --> 00:35:50,106
and then you burn
my store down? Huh?
922
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,483
I'm gonna sue you.
923
00:35:51,566 --> 00:35:53,777
I'm gonna sue you
for everything you got.
924
00:35:53,860 --> 00:35:55,528
When I get through with you,
you'll be broke!
925
00:35:55,612 --> 00:35:58,114
- But I didn't do it! - Oh, I don't
give a shit if you did it or not!
926
00:35:58,198 --> 00:36:01,159
We'll let the judge decide!
You hear me?
927
00:36:01,242 --> 00:36:04,412
- (exploding)
- (glass shattering)
928
00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:11,628
(indistinct radio chattering)
929
00:36:11,711 --> 00:36:13,630
Sorry about your place.
930
00:36:13,713 --> 00:36:15,674
(scoffs)
Unbelievable, huh?
931
00:36:15,757 --> 00:36:17,175
We did the best we could.
932
00:36:17,258 --> 00:36:18,802
Tried to break
one of the windows out,
933
00:36:18,885 --> 00:36:20,261
get some more hoses
in there, but...
934
00:36:20,345 --> 00:36:21,888
all the tables were bolted
to the floor.
935
00:36:21,971 --> 00:36:24,307
Yeah, that's to prevent
the table from wobbling.
936
00:36:24,391 --> 00:36:25,934
Oh, you, you did
that yourself?
937
00:36:26,017 --> 00:36:27,560
Yeah, I don't like
wobbly tables.
938
00:36:27,644 --> 00:36:29,270
And you had Purell
on every table,
939
00:36:29,354 --> 00:36:30,563
which is an accelerant.
940
00:36:30,647 --> 00:36:32,565
People love the Purell.
941
00:36:32,649 --> 00:36:34,359
And the tables that
didn't wobble.
942
00:36:34,442 --> 00:36:35,860
Normally in this situation,
943
00:36:35,944 --> 00:36:38,655
if we can't break the windows
to get more hoses in,
944
00:36:38,738 --> 00:36:40,365
we'd access the water
from the toilets,
945
00:36:40,448 --> 00:36:41,908
but we couldn't find them.
946
00:36:41,991 --> 00:36:44,244
- Yeah, there are no toilets.
- What?
947
00:36:44,327 --> 00:36:46,246
Coffee's a diuretic,
and you don't have toilets?
948
00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:48,581
Yeah, I didn't want any
defecating in the store.
949
00:36:48,665 --> 00:36:49,749
We had urinals.
950
00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:51,543
Where? I looked in there.
951
00:36:51,626 --> 00:36:54,170
Oh, no. You gotta press the button.
That opens up a chute.
952
00:36:54,254 --> 00:36:56,715
- What, like a secret compartment?
- Yeah, kinda.
953
00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:59,801
And, uh, the ladies,
they, they hang from a bar.
954
00:37:00,343 --> 00:37:02,887
- Yeah. - I don't get it. I don't
get anything with this place.
955
00:37:02,971 --> 00:37:04,806
Any idea how this started?
956
00:37:04,889 --> 00:37:07,434
Yeah, it looks like it started
in the storeroom.
957
00:37:07,517 --> 00:37:11,104
Someone knocked one of these
self-heating cups off a shelf,
958
00:37:11,187 --> 00:37:13,690
it hit some papers, turned on,
959
00:37:13,773 --> 00:37:16,109
heated up and
ignited the papers.
960
00:37:17,944 --> 00:37:19,154
Joey.
961
00:37:20,029 --> 00:37:23,032
I knew that big penis
was nothing but trouble.
962
00:37:23,116 --> 00:37:24,492
I'm sorry, what?
963
00:37:24,576 --> 00:37:27,162
I knew that big penis
was nothing but trouble.
964
00:37:27,245 --> 00:37:28,455
Okay, I guess I heard
what you said.
965
00:37:28,538 --> 00:37:30,123
I don't know what
you're talking about.
966
00:37:30,206 --> 00:37:32,375
Nah, it's a long story.
967
00:37:32,459 --> 00:37:36,337
Anyway, if I was trying to tell
someone how to burn a place down,
968
00:37:36,421 --> 00:37:39,758
I would suggest every step
you took in your business.
969
00:37:39,841 --> 00:37:42,385
So they're probably
gonna investigate you.
970
00:37:42,469 --> 00:37:45,513
You did so many stupid things,
it looks like arson.
971
00:37:45,597 --> 00:37:47,140
Arson?
972
00:37:56,816 --> 00:37:59,486
(distant music playing)
973
00:38:07,660 --> 00:38:10,872
- (festive music playing)
- (lively chattering)
974
00:38:18,505 --> 00:38:21,257
Mocha Joe: Hey, Larry! Look!
It's Larry David!
975
00:38:21,341 --> 00:38:22,634
Hi, Larry.
976
00:38:22,717 --> 00:38:23,676
Mocha Joe:
I'm glad you're here.
977
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:24,886
You know, we never got a chance
978
00:38:24,969 --> 00:38:25,929
to thank you for the house.
979
00:38:26,012 --> 00:38:27,680
I mean, we love it.
We really do.
980
00:38:27,764 --> 00:38:29,766
I mean, if it wasn't
for the insurance money,
981
00:38:29,849 --> 00:38:32,310
- and the lawsuit settlements--
- Hey, you know what?
982
00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:34,395
It's customary when
people have a party
983
00:38:34,479 --> 00:38:36,439
to inform your neighbors
as a courtesy.
984
00:38:36,523 --> 00:38:39,067
Right, right. You're 100 percent right.
I'm sorry.
985
00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:41,611
Hey, Larry.
We're having a party.
986
00:38:41,694 --> 00:38:43,947
- Oh, we're having one next week, too.
- That's right.
987
00:38:44,030 --> 00:38:46,449
- What are we having? What are we having?
- We're having a luau.
988
00:38:46,533 --> 00:38:48,243
- Mocha Joe: A luau!
- Alice: Isn't that right, Bogie?
989
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:52,163
You know why? Because that's
what spite houses are for!
990
00:38:52,872 --> 00:38:55,583
(theme music playing)
991
00:39:00,713 --> 00:39:03,716
(lively chattering continuing)
992
00:39:05,593 --> 00:39:12,642
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
77186
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