Original subtitles

�Hey, how's it going? �Hey, how's it going?

�I'm good, man, how are you? �I'm good, man, how are you?

�(laughs) �(laughs)

�Uh... �Uh...

�Oh, my God. �Oh, my God.

BOTH: ♪ Gonna change things up a little bit ♪

(vocalizing)

♪ And I say ♪

♪ Here's a song ♪

♪ That you never heard ♪

♪ Before ♪

�This is wild. �This is wild.

BOTH: I don't really know what to do now.

(mouthing words)

(electricity crackles)

(birds chirping distantly)

Cake.

[phone ringing]

Cake.

(electronic music)

♪ ♪

(yelling)

Breathe, honey! Breathe!

Keep pushing, Mrs. Jenkins.

I can see the head.

�(panting) �Here it comes.

�I'll get the helmet. �What helmet?

The VR helmet!

�Push! �(yells)

Push!

And...yes.

HUSBAND: Perfect!

Seamless transition.

(helmet beeps)

Wh�what's going on?

Oh, he's gotta learn about VR early, honey.

It's the future!

This way, the first thing he'll see is a virtual world.

He'll be miles ahead of his peers.

He could be the next Elon Musk.

Oh.

What can he see right now?

He thinks he's still in the womb.

How funny's that?

(both laugh)

That's awful. Change it!

Okay, okay.

(baby crying)

What's happening?

Oh, now he's fighting aliens.

They're attacking from all sides.

(baby shrieks)

Oh, he just died.

What?

Well, how many lives does he get?

Three.

(eerie music)

♪ ♪

(groaning)

(lasers pulsing)

CREATURE: Yo, yo, yo! What's up?

Who goes there?

(electricity crackling)

Ta�da!

Who are you?

Do you like it here?

It's okay.

Okay? All right.

Tell me what you did today.

Um, I defended a space station

�from incoming evil drones. �Yeah?

Then I fought an aerial battle

in an apocalyptic desert wasteland.

Uh�huh.

And now I'm defeating a horde of a thousand zombies.

�Fuck me dead! �What's the matter?

Don't you ever wonder why there isn't anything

more interesting to do around here than shoot zombies

and have lame�ass space battles?

What could be more interesting than that?

Oh, where do I start?

There's MDMA.

Orgies. Dogs!

Alcoholic milkshakes. (slurps)

Snorkeling. Jazzy house music.

(humming)

Lying by the pool while the love of your life

rubs you down with coconut oil.

What are all those things?

What's coconut oil?

Maybe it's time you found out.

How do I do that?

Maybe check your face.

Later!

�Oh! �(electricity crackles)

Hey, wait! Come back!

What do you mean, "check your face"?

Hey, hey��

Aww...

Aw.

What'd he say?

Check my face?

Hmm.

What's�� is...

(grunting)

(grunts)

What��

What the...

Help. Help!

Help!

Richie! Calm down, son.

Calm down.

Who's Richie? Who are you?

I'm your father, Richie. And this is your mother.

Father? Mother?

Am I dreaming?

No, son.

A creature, inside the mask��

he told me there was interesting stuff out here.

I know, Richie.

He was a bug in the system.

A faulty piece of code, love.

But was he right?

Yes, son.

So out here is...

Out here is real, Richie.

Is there MDMA?

Is there dog orgies?

Oh, of course.

So many.

You're free now, son.

But...why did you do this?

Because now you're a VR native.

And you'll become the CEO of a successful tech startup.

I don't know what that means.

You will.

It's good to have you back, son.

We love you, Richie!

I love you too, Mum and Dad.

Thank you for freeing me.

Now I get to be a real boy.

Now I get to be a real boy.

Oh, this fake awakening simulation

will really help him prepare for real life.

Well, when do you think he'll be ready for real life?

Oh, the technology moves so fast.

He'll need to stay in there just to keep up with it.

Oh. So, maybe never, then?

Yeah. Maybe never.

(upbeat electronic music)

(upbeat music)

BRADEN: Okay.

Big alert, everyone. Big alert.

Tim, bad news.

Just got word that a bunch of sharks

are making a show called "Tim Fuckers."

Apparently, they're hunting you with the intention

of dominating you on the ocean floor.

�KENNETH: (laughs) �Good one.

In all honesty, though, we did just get a fax

just saying that your grandmum passed.

That's not funny.

Yeah, your loved one's just died, mate.

Why on earth would that be funny?

�So sorry, mate. �Oh, my God.

Just wanted to lighten the mood

before delivering such devastating news.

Luckily, she had a heart attack,

so she did not feel any pain.

She just went like that.

Actually, heart attacks are extraordinarily painful.

Okay. No use in painting a peach.

She suffered.

KENNETH: Look, I'm sure she's down there

just really wanting you to fuck the shark with us.

Why do you say "down there"?

Are you implying my grandma's in hell?

Oh, no, mate, no, I just thought, you know,

she's in a box six feet underground looking up.

Oh, thanks.

Well, that was a bit of a downer,

but I think I know how I can turn those frowns upside�down.

I think it's time for a dance and clean!

(upbeat jazz music)

Come on, let's dance and clean to the rhythm of the beat.

Get those spirits up.

Oh, no, sweeping limbo!

Oh, go, Kitty!

�(whispering) Sorry. �Go, Dr. Evelyn!

NARRATOR: Since the dawn of time,

sharks have ruled the seas.

Now two men will fight

to take their kingdom by force.

Recently, I told the boys

that sharks are attracted to churning waters.

Whoo!

But I'm not really sure

how effective this is gonna be.

�Oh! �BRADEN: Oh, yeah!

Go, mate!

Holy shit, mate, this is fucking awesome!

Uh, yeah, it should be!

It was a hundred thousand dollars!

Yeah, so we heard about all this churning water thing,

and we thought, well, why not churn water

and do something totally badass at the same time, you know?

Yeah, but, like, also, up that high,

get us a good vantage point, so, like,

we're really seeing a good view of the sharks

and, like, doing research and whatnot.

Exactly, exactly, we're getting shit done

and having a rip�a�dip doing it.

Uh, yeah, we are. (laughs)

(upbeat jazz music)

(singers vocalizing)

Whoo!

Look, we have splurged a little bit, but��

but it improves morale quite a lot.

And plus, we got our old schoolmate Kevin,

who, uh, who works for the government,

so he's been hooking us up, you know?

Uh, here it is, mate.

�Oh. �Mm!

To government research.

Uh, to the government. To the government.

Wow. Is that Cointreau in that?

No, mate, it's a bit of paint thinner.

Uh, we're running low on tequila.

♪ ♪

�Whoo! �Yeah!

Go, Kitty!

�BRADEN: Whoo! �KENNETH: Whoo!

BRADEN: Yeah! Go, Kitty!

Oh, no, it's not as easy as it looks.

�KENNETH: No. �BRADEN: Is it?

�Hey, can I have a try? �No, definitely not, Tim.

It's not a toy, mate.

You've gotta be ready to catch the shark,

but you're doing a great job.

Uh, Dr. Evelyn, do you want a churn?

I thought you'd never ask.

BRADEN: It's so much fun.

(man speaking indistinctly)

(slurps)

Mmm. Cake.

(robotic voice #1 singing)

�(screeching) �(glass shattering)

ROBOTIC VOICE #2: ♪ Crash, crash, crash, reboot ♪

♪ Reboot, crash, crash ♪

♪ Reboot, crash, crash, reboot ♪

(robotic voice #1 singing)

(applause)

(robotic voice #2 singing)

(woman singing operatically)

(upbeat music)

They think that the dolphins can tell when they're��

the other one is pregnant because of their sonar.

�Is that right? �Yeah.

So it's like an ultrasound.

Braden?

Kevin's on video chat for you.

We're right in the middle of something.

Can you tell him to call back?

He seems to really want to chat now.

About the budget and everything.

Okay.

Hey, here he is.

Kevin.

So good to see your face, mate.

You know, we were just going over

all of the, like, Great Barrier Reef

and its impact on the shark��

Are you having sex with these sharks?

What?

I asked a pretty straightforward question.

Are you having sex with sharks?

Sex with sharks? Sex with the sharks?

Are you having sex with the sharks?

I don't think you should be able to even ask me that.

I don't think it's any of your business

who I'm having sex with.

Braden, you are an unbelievable

piece of shit, mate.

You mean to tell me you're using government funding��

Okay, Kevin, calm down, mate. You don't understand.

I mean, yes, we're forging new ground with an extreme sport��

What the fuck is wrong with you?

But we're also doing the research.

We're tagging them and we're charting their migrations.

Oh, it sounds like you've been tagging them,

all right, mate, and I'm pretty sure

their migration patterns are gonna change

once they start telling their mates,

"Hey, there's a little pocket of ocean over there

where human beings are raping us."

Oh, my God, you are ignorant, mate.

No, with all due respect, these are top predators.

We're just showing 'em what it's like to be prey, mate.

And are you an animal predator or a sexual predator?

Take that back.

I wish I could take back

the hundreds of thousands of dollars

the Australian government has committed to bestiality.

Kevin, it's not bestiality, you moron.

We're not ejaculating.

Okay, this is an act of dominance, you pervert.

Oh. Keep forgetting it's salty.

BRADEN: You fucking shit�ass.

What are you fucking talking about, all right?

What do you think this is, mate?

Kevin, how about this? Shut up.

What do you mean�� don't��

you don't tell me to shut up.

Shut your mouth, idiot.

Stop telling me to shut it, all right?

�No, you shut up. �You're a fucking dickhead.

You know that? You're a dickhead.

Yeah, I know you are, but what am I?

You're a fucking moron.

Whatever. Shut up, mate.

Your funding's cut off. Your funding is cut off.

Good, no, don't give a shit.

We're done here, okay? We're done.

It's been a real pleasure. Kevin, I hope you drop dead.

KEVIN: Thanks, mate, and can I just ask,

what actually attracted you to the sport?

Was it bestiality or just the incest with your brother?

Oh, piss off, you wanker!

God damn it!

We're so fucked!

Oh, yeah!

�Hey. �Hey.

Are you having�� you're having margaritas, cool.

Cool.

�Right. Uh, Braden? �Yeah.

Is everything all right with the funding?

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

That was�� that's Kevin.

We're old friends. We'll make up.

Uh, yeah, I'm gonna go talk to, uh��

just chat with Kenneth real quick.

Shit!

♪ ♪

(crunch)

(squelching)

MAN: Cake...

(whimsical music)

♪ ♪

(sultry music)

♪ ♪

(quirky music)

♪ ♪

(pan sizzling)

(birds chirping)

(pan sizzling)

(bird chirps)

(dramatic music)

(shell cracks)

♪ ♪

(bird shrieks)

♪ ♪

(bird shrieks)

(pan sizzling)

♪ ♪

(birds chirping)

♪ ♪

Keep my babies alive, Walt.

You know what to do.

(dinging)

♪ ♪

(uplifting orchestral music)

(flesh squishes)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(funky music)

♪ ♪

(beeping)

♪ I'll bake it, I'll kill it ♪

♪ I'll cook it, I'll dry it ♪

♪ But we'll never go hungry again ♪

MATT: Okay.

That was good. Okay.

�AARON: Thanks. �MATT: So let's see here.

You got a lot of special skills on this résumé.

�Yeah. �MATT: Yeah.

See here gymnastics.

Yeah.

MATT: So what's that entail?

Um, well, I can do, like, somersaults,

cartwheels, roundoff��

MATT: Can you do a backflip?

Yeah.

MATT: Okay.

Oh, you want me to do it?

MATT: Yeah.

Okay. (exhales sharply)

�You all right? �Yeah, no, I got it.

Just...

you know, mental preparation.

�(quiet ripping) �(sighs)

That's concrete.

Just carpet on concrete.

(exhales sharply)

�Sir? �Right.

Oh, fuck.

Okay, you seem like you can't do it,

�and that's okay. �No, no, no.

�MATT: Not everyone can do it. �No, I got it, I got it.

(yells)

�(bones crack) �Ow!

(whimpers)

Okay.

We'll let you know.

�(tape whirs) �(tone chimes)

♪ ♪

Cake.

(alarm beeping)

(squishing)

KENNETH: (grunting)

(laughs)

This is awesome, man.

Yeah. Take it off. We gotta return it.

Wait, what?

Yeah, the goddamn Hitlers over in the government

found out, so they cut our funding.

�That is unbelievable. �I know.

Hey. You know, I don't��

I don't want to be a wallaby scratch or anything,

but you remember Tim's grandma?

I think I overhead Tim saying that she had an estate.

So you're saying that you think Tim's got

some extra pesos coming his way.

Is he Mexican?

No, I just meant money.

He's got extra money.

Yeah.

That's genius, mate.

Okay, we've gotta be tactful and considerate.

Right.

Gather round. Gather round, everyone.

(bagpipe music playing)

What's all this?

We wanted to do something special

for our good friend Tim.

We know that you've lost

someone near and dear to you, mate,

and we just want you to know��

RAPPER: ♪ Ass up, face down ♪

♪ Know I like it doggy style ♪

BRADEN: Sorry, it's just�� it's a mix tape.

Hang on.

(bagpipe music resumes)

Yeah. We know that you've lost someone

near and dear to you, mate,

so we just wanted to pay our deepest respects.

God, this�� thank you.

Thanks, guys.

Well, we know how much she meant to you, mate.

And how important this mission would've been to her.

I'm sure she would've loved to have met all of you.

♪ ♪

�Bring it in, mate. �Oh.

Who is that?

KENNETH: Oh, well, I mean, obviously,

I had no idea what she looked like,

so I just typed "Tim's grandma" into the internet.

�That's what came up. �BRADEN: Yes.

Obviously, it's not her ashes either.

TIM: Whose are they?

Just some shit I found and burned.

But it is hers in spirit.

It's very symbolic, mate.

Right. Cheers.

Okay, Kitty?

You said you had something that you wanted to read?

♪ ♪

(clears throat)

Kings, 2:23.

"So then Elijah went up to Bethel,

"and as he was walking,

"some youths came out of the town and jeered at him.

"'Go on up, thou bald head,' they said.

"'Go on up, thou bald head.'

"He turned around and called down a curse

"in the name of the Lord, and then

"two bears came out of the woods

and mauled 42 of the children."

Amen.

Amen. Thank you, Kitty.

That was very nice.

What a lovely service.

Okay, guys.

I think now would be the appropriate moment

to tell you that,

because of the fascist dictators

over in the government,

the mission's been canceled.

Our funding has been cut.

�What? �Oh, no.

I'm so sorry, guys.

�That's terrible. �BRADEN: Yeah.

You know, I think at this point,

all we can do is just hope to inherit some money.

Couldn't we just sell the jet pack?

It was quite expensive, you could��

Yeah, no.

Probably...

�(mouths words) �No.

I wish I could offer you guys my grandma's inheritance,

but, you know, she died poor, unfortunately, so...

�What about her estate? �Excuse me?

KENNETH: I thought I overheard she had an estate.

She had an estate sale,

but it was just old clothes and whatnot.

Oh, shit.

Were you��

did you guys put this together

just to try and get my grandma's inheritance?

What? No!

What are you talking about, mate?

This?

You did, didn't you?

No, you did.

�(laughs) �Uh, this is from the��

This is unbelievable.

�BRADEN: No, we didn't�� �Hey, Tim.

�Nope, nope, nope, nope. �KENNETH: No, Tim, wait.

Hang on a minute. Hang on!

You're twisting it, mate.

I must say, that was very insensitive.

Well, it was an honest mistake, dawg.

You know, 'cause we thought that she had

golden marbles to spare, so...

Well, then, by definition,

it wasn't an honest mistake, was it?

Don't.

This is what the monsters in the government want.

Yeah, the fascist...monsters.

So, um...

what about the mission?

(melancholy piano music)

♪ ♪

(birds calling distantly)

♪ ♪

KENNETH: Beautiful, isn't it?

♪ ♪

Circle of life.

I'm gonna miss the old girl.

♪ ♪

But nothing lasts forever.

SINGERS: ♪ Amazing grace ♪

�Yeah! �KITTY: Whoo!

SINGERS: ♪ How sweet the sound ♪

I'm coming!

Whoo!

SINGERS: ♪ That saved a wretch ♪

♪ Like me ♪

♪ I once was lost ♪

♪ But now I'm found ♪

♪ Was blind ♪

♪ But now I see ♪

(upbeat music)

(woman singing in foreign language)

♪ ♪

�(clear music) �CHORUS: ♪ Yes ♪