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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:03:42,102 --> 00:03:46,664 I'm sorry, Steve. I�m truly sorry. 2 00:03:50,611 --> 00:03:55,913 I�m not sorry. I am not sorry. Don't be sorry. Never be sorry. 3 00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:08,859 -Wake up! -Wake up! 4 00:04:09,062 --> 00:04:12,122 -Happy birthday! -Happy birthday! 5 00:04:12,332 --> 00:04:13,230 Thank you. 6 00:04:13,433 --> 00:04:17,301 Thank you. Give us a snuggle. Give us a kiss, sweetheart. 7 00:04:17,504 --> 00:04:19,028 -Thank you very much. -Happy birthday. 8 00:04:19,239 --> 00:04:21,935 -Oh, thanks! -Thank you. 9 00:04:22,142 --> 00:04:24,667 -C'mon, me first! -No, read the card first. 10 00:04:24,878 --> 00:04:26,038 -Why? -It's from both of us. 11 00:04:26,246 --> 00:04:28,544 Okay. well, look, I don't know if I�m going to be able to read this. 12 00:04:28,749 --> 00:04:32,344 My eyes aren't working too well at the moment. How do you get these open? 13 00:04:32,553 --> 00:04:37,820 -Oh, come on! Let's get to the present! -Alright! Hang on, let's have a look. 14 00:04:50,103 --> 00:04:53,436 He's out there watering already. 15 00:04:55,742 --> 00:04:57,937 All he does is water. 16 00:05:02,149 --> 00:05:04,549 -Does he water all day? -No. 17 00:05:05,986 --> 00:05:08,784 He's a fat, fuckin' hairy... 18 00:05:08,989 --> 00:05:11,457 ...watering garden gnome. -What? 19 00:05:11,658 --> 00:05:15,890 I said he's a fat, hairy, fuckin' watering garden gnome. 20 00:05:19,800 --> 00:05:23,292 You were dead to the world when I came in last night. 21 00:05:25,472 --> 00:05:27,030 Are you on those sleeping tablets again? 22 00:05:27,241 --> 00:05:30,039 -Sometimes. -Last night? 23 00:05:35,983 --> 00:05:39,111 I wish you'd try without them. 24 00:05:39,987 --> 00:05:42,148 I�m alright. 25 00:05:42,356 --> 00:05:44,085 Thank you. 26 00:05:53,500 --> 00:05:57,163 Am I taking the kids to school? 27 00:05:58,405 --> 00:06:02,899 Alexandra? Am I taking the kids to school today? 28 00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:06,807 No, that's alright. Jane's picking them up. 29 00:06:11,752 --> 00:06:13,652 -Sam? -Yep! 30 00:06:13,854 --> 00:06:16,322 -Down here this instant! -Coming! 31 00:06:19,459 --> 00:06:21,927 -Sammy, Sammy. -Oh, my head! 32 00:06:22,129 --> 00:06:23,687 Buddy, are you okay? Give us a look. where? 33 00:06:23,897 --> 00:06:24,556 what happened? 34 00:06:24,831 --> 00:06:27,823 Oh, he fell into the doorjamb. He's all right. Alex? 35 00:06:28,035 --> 00:06:30,333 -It hurts! -He's alright. 36 00:06:32,339 --> 00:06:34,273 -Aren't you, little buddy? -It hurts! 37 00:06:34,474 --> 00:06:37,068 Yeah, I know. Look at that dent in the wall! 38 00:06:54,928 --> 00:06:58,887 -A couple of bills. Happy birthday. -Thanks. 39 00:07:00,267 --> 00:07:02,963 The phone's overdue. 40 00:07:17,584 --> 00:07:21,680 I don't know why you don't let me do the bill paying. 41 00:07:22,489 --> 00:07:23,786 Yeah, I'll do it. 42 00:07:52,586 --> 00:07:55,555 -Hey, dad. -Hey, princess. 43 00:07:56,723 --> 00:07:59,658 -Done your teeth? -Yeah. 44 00:08:03,864 --> 00:08:05,422 well, don't come out here when I�m smoking. 45 00:08:05,632 --> 00:08:06,929 Don't smoke. 46 00:08:07,134 --> 00:08:09,261 It�s my birthday. I�ll smoke if I want to. 47 00:08:09,469 --> 00:08:15,339 what, like someone on death row before they die forever? 48 00:08:22,482 --> 00:08:25,315 -Is that better? -Yep, that's better. 49 00:08:25,519 --> 00:08:28,716 Now we're gonna brush our teeth, then. 50 00:08:28,922 --> 00:08:33,325 -Yeah, I�ll do it. -''Yeah, I�ll do it''. 51 00:08:47,040 --> 00:08:50,874 -What's in there that's so secret? -Nothing. 52 00:08:51,645 --> 00:08:54,409 It�s a surprise. 53 00:08:54,614 --> 00:08:56,809 You'll get the rest of your birthday present tonight. 54 00:08:57,017 --> 00:08:58,882 I�ll look forward to it. 55 00:08:59,086 --> 00:09:01,748 -I couldn't have a sneak preview? -Tonight. 56 00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:03,547 Okay. 57 00:09:04,191 --> 00:09:05,954 Gotta go. 58 00:09:06,159 --> 00:09:08,753 See you tonight. 59 00:09:16,336 --> 00:09:20,705 Oh, that's a great hug, tiger. You have a great day and I�ll see you tonight. 60 00:09:20,907 --> 00:09:23,341 Bye, dad. See you. 61 00:09:23,543 --> 00:09:27,877 You too, treasure. You have a lovely day. I�ll see you this evening. 62 00:09:30,016 --> 00:09:33,281 -You're not gonna be late, are you? -No way! Not tonight! 63 00:09:33,954 --> 00:09:35,216 -See you, dad. -Bye, dad. 64 00:09:35,422 --> 00:09:37,788 See you, kids. 65 00:09:41,695 --> 00:09:44,721 This is getting ridiculous. 66 00:09:45,799 --> 00:09:48,131 we'll all burn to death in here one day. 67 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:57,843 Deadlocks are for when you're out of the house, not to lock yourself inside. 68 00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:09,248 -Good day, Bill. How's the garden? -Good, Steve. Growing. 69 00:10:09,856 --> 00:10:12,484 How's The Complete Home Security Company? 70 00:10:12,692 --> 00:10:14,683 It�s growing too. 71 00:10:18,565 --> 00:10:19,862 I�ll bet it is. 72 00:10:29,843 --> 00:10:32,175 It works, eh? 73 00:10:32,379 --> 00:10:35,644 Your house makes me very proud. 74 00:11:02,842 --> 00:11:04,867 Okay. 75 00:11:05,078 --> 00:11:07,911 There's a change of plan. You're not going to school today. 76 00:11:08,114 --> 00:11:10,344 Yeah! Really? 77 00:11:10,550 --> 00:11:13,246 More of dad's birthday surprise? 78 00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:16,115 -That's naughty, mum. -Isn't it? 79 00:11:16,323 --> 00:11:18,314 Okay, so come on, out of those school uniforms! 80 00:11:18,525 --> 00:11:21,289 -And hang them up! -Alright! 81 00:11:21,494 --> 00:11:24,986 -We've got out of school! Cool! -No homework! 82 00:11:25,198 --> 00:11:27,758 No more homework for today. 83 00:11:29,369 --> 00:11:32,497 -Morning, Steve. -Good morning, Duncan. 84 00:11:32,706 --> 00:11:35,675 -Hi, Steve. -Good day, beautiful. 85 00:11:47,254 --> 00:11:49,154 Sorry, kids. 86 00:11:50,757 --> 00:11:52,190 Hello, Steve. 87 00:11:52,392 --> 00:11:54,383 -Your appointments for this afternoon. -Thanks, Chris. 88 00:11:54,594 --> 00:11:56,960 Don't forget you can't use the boardroom today. 89 00:11:57,163 --> 00:11:59,028 -Why not? -Board meeting. 90 00:12:03,536 --> 00:12:05,766 Yeah, that's good. 91 00:12:06,306 --> 00:12:08,604 Here you go. 92 00:12:08,808 --> 00:12:10,366 Hold it still, Emma. 93 00:12:10,577 --> 00:12:14,069 It�s meant to be the same as yesterday, isn't it? 94 00:12:14,281 --> 00:12:18,342 -Well, it is. -Good on you, Sam. 95 00:12:22,489 --> 00:12:24,582 Here you go. 96 00:12:26,526 --> 00:12:31,156 -Are you okay, mum? -Yeah. I�m just a bit sentimental. 97 00:12:45,845 --> 00:12:48,006 where's mum? 98 00:12:49,749 --> 00:12:51,614 Mum! 99 00:12:55,322 --> 00:12:57,882 Go get her, will you? 100 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,327 Mum! 101 00:13:25,952 --> 00:13:29,479 -Well? -Door's closed. 102 00:13:33,893 --> 00:13:36,953 -My room's a mess. -So? 103 00:13:37,530 --> 00:13:41,159 So it wasn't before and it is now. 104 00:13:41,368 --> 00:13:44,701 You are a reject. 105 00:13:46,673 --> 00:13:48,800 No, no, no, backspace, not return. 106 00:13:49,008 --> 00:13:51,169 why doesn't this bloody thing do what I tell it to? 107 00:13:51,378 --> 00:13:53,369 Steve, you're wanted in the boardroom. 108 00:13:53,580 --> 00:13:54,604 Shit! 109 00:13:54,881 --> 00:13:58,180 -Why ''shit''? -That can only mean one thing: 110 00:13:58,518 --> 00:14:03,285 promotion, demotion. I�m fired or I�m retrenched. 111 00:14:03,490 --> 00:14:04,479 well, that's four things. 112 00:14:04,691 --> 00:14:07,353 But only one of them's acceptable to me. 113 00:14:10,263 --> 00:14:13,255 -Will you still talk to me afterwards? -Steve. 114 00:14:34,921 --> 00:14:38,357 we might be a little while, but I'd still like you to wait. 115 00:14:38,558 --> 00:14:42,187 At 40 cents a minute, you can take as long as you like. 116 00:15:06,586 --> 00:15:10,886 There's been another change of plans. A big change. 117 00:15:28,842 --> 00:15:31,709 Bye, mum. See ya! 118 00:15:31,911 --> 00:15:33,879 Bye! 119 00:15:35,315 --> 00:15:37,545 Bye. 120 00:15:37,750 --> 00:15:39,445 See ya! 121 00:15:46,893 --> 00:15:49,418 Bye. 122 00:17:33,800 --> 00:17:36,394 what the fuck? Not another one! 123 00:17:36,970 --> 00:17:40,633 You fuckin' little hairy garden gnome! 124 00:17:48,147 --> 00:17:51,480 No, no, no. This is too much, Alexandra! 125 00:18:25,785 --> 00:18:27,446 Christine! 126 00:18:28,921 --> 00:18:30,684 where have the photos of my kids gone? 127 00:18:30,890 --> 00:18:35,293 -I couriered them to your wife. -You what? why? 128 00:18:36,029 --> 00:18:38,998 It�s a surprise, Steve. 129 00:19:33,252 --> 00:19:35,482 I�m ready. 130 00:19:37,590 --> 00:19:41,117 You're wanted in the boardroom, Steve. 131 00:19:42,729 --> 00:19:45,630 That bloke from the bank's gonna be here in less than five minutes. 132 00:19:45,832 --> 00:19:47,857 They said to come now. 133 00:19:49,035 --> 00:19:51,595 -Happy birthday, Steve. -Yeah, yeah. 134 00:19:51,804 --> 00:19:54,398 we've had that. This one's different. 135 00:20:03,516 --> 00:20:06,212 Is that all? 136 00:20:07,053 --> 00:20:08,748 Yes, that's all, Steve. 137 00:20:26,606 --> 00:20:29,803 Come on, Alex, pick up the phone! 138 00:20:48,060 --> 00:20:50,858 Can I buy you a drink? Double celebration. 139 00:20:51,063 --> 00:20:54,226 No way. Absolutely have to be home on time tonight. 140 00:20:54,433 --> 00:20:57,493 Can't be late for my own surprise party. 141 00:20:57,804 --> 00:21:00,773 what? Haven't been invited? 142 00:21:01,574 --> 00:21:04,543 Geez, you're a good actor! 143 00:21:04,844 --> 00:21:07,608 See you tonight! 144 00:21:07,814 --> 00:21:10,783 Let's party Come on, it's gonna be a big party 145 00:21:11,184 --> 00:21:16,588 Hey baby, don't tell me no lies This birthday party is a big surprise! 146 00:21:16,789 --> 00:21:18,723 Hey, Bill, what's happened? Not watering tonight? 147 00:21:18,925 --> 00:21:20,222 I don't know, I don't know... 148 00:21:20,593 --> 00:21:25,462 I tell you, in this weather, those plants are just going to shrivel up and die. 149 00:22:58,491 --> 00:23:00,356 Surprise! 150 00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:10,034 Shit. 151 00:23:15,875 --> 00:23:18,639 Anybody here? 152 00:24:00,019 --> 00:24:02,112 Shit. 153 00:24:37,490 --> 00:24:40,186 Jesus! 154 00:28:36,595 --> 00:28:38,790 -Is it going now? -Yep. It�s on. 155 00:28:38,998 --> 00:28:41,330 Going? 156 00:28:45,404 --> 00:28:47,269 Honey? 157 00:28:47,473 --> 00:28:52,604 -Emma! Over here! We're over here! -I've nearly done it. Yes, I know. 158 00:28:53,445 --> 00:28:57,176 -Video us! -You'd better hang on then! 159 00:28:59,585 --> 00:29:02,748 -No, not yet. -You got us? Yeah? 160 00:29:02,955 --> 00:29:06,356 -No, not yet. -Can you see me? 161 00:29:07,126 --> 00:29:09,959 -Gotcha! -You right? 162 00:29:11,430 --> 00:29:15,389 -Hello, darling. Happy birthday. -Happy birthday, dad! 163 00:29:15,601 --> 00:29:20,436 Yeah, yeah. Happy birthday. Now tell me what's going on. 164 00:29:21,340 --> 00:29:23,308 Now, before we get too far into this... 165 00:29:23,509 --> 00:29:25,443 I want you to go to the fridge and get yourself a beer... 166 00:29:25,644 --> 00:29:28,112 and then sit down and watch. 167 00:29:29,048 --> 00:29:31,209 Go on. 168 00:29:31,417 --> 00:29:35,513 Put us on pause, get yourself a beer. We'll still be here when you get back. 169 00:29:37,156 --> 00:29:40,819 -Go on! -Are we on pause now? 170 00:29:42,561 --> 00:29:45,189 Okay. 171 00:30:46,792 --> 00:30:48,987 Yes? 172 00:30:49,194 --> 00:30:51,253 I�ll assume you've paused us before now... 173 00:30:51,463 --> 00:30:53,693 and that you're back with your beer. 174 00:30:53,899 --> 00:30:58,029 -Emma? The drinks, darling. -Can I have the blue one? 175 00:30:58,237 --> 00:31:00,467 -Cheers! -Cheers, dad! 176 00:31:00,906 --> 00:31:02,965 -Cheers! -Go on! Cheers! 177 00:31:04,109 --> 00:31:06,407 -Cheers! -Cheers! 178 00:31:18,190 --> 00:31:20,852 -Cheers! -Cheers, dad! 179 00:31:21,059 --> 00:31:24,495 -Cheers! -Go on. Cheers! 180 00:31:25,130 --> 00:31:27,394 Cheers! 181 00:31:34,239 --> 00:31:37,299 -This is nice. -Say goodbye to your father now. 182 00:31:37,509 --> 00:31:40,069 I�m going to come up with the adults only bit. 183 00:31:40,412 --> 00:31:42,346 Bye, dad. We hope you have a happy birthday... 184 00:31:42,548 --> 00:31:45,779 and hope you like your presents as much as we liked making it for you. 185 00:31:45,984 --> 00:31:47,576 Thanks, Emma. 186 00:31:48,787 --> 00:31:53,554 Bye, dad. We hope you liked your birthday and you liked your presents... 187 00:31:53,759 --> 00:31:57,217 -As much as we... -...as much as we liked... 188 00:31:57,429 --> 00:31:58,589 ...making it for you. -Thanks, Sam. 189 00:31:58,797 --> 00:32:02,198 -Bye, dad. See you. -Bye. 190 00:32:08,874 --> 00:32:11,468 They've gone. 191 00:32:13,912 --> 00:32:16,107 Steve, I decided a different sort of birthday present... 192 00:32:16,315 --> 00:32:18,306 was in order this year. 193 00:32:18,517 --> 00:32:21,714 So here it is. 194 00:32:22,554 --> 00:32:26,957 The tape machine! Just hold on a minute. 195 00:32:36,101 --> 00:32:38,126 It�s a pity I don't know how the camera remote works... 196 00:32:38,337 --> 00:32:39,964 or this'd be smoother. 197 00:32:43,542 --> 00:32:46,306 Right. Your present. 198 00:32:56,889 --> 00:32:58,083 Fuck! 199 00:32:58,290 --> 00:33:02,590 I�m not very good at this, but I�ll try my best. 200 00:34:56,708 --> 00:34:58,869 Alex... 201 00:35:06,585 --> 00:35:08,746 The...? 202 00:35:27,906 --> 00:35:30,841 where has this come from? 203 00:35:58,136 --> 00:36:00,070 I didn't time that very well, did l? 204 00:36:02,541 --> 00:36:06,341 what are you doing? Don't stop! Turn it back on! 205 00:36:09,114 --> 00:36:10,672 I�m still here, Steve. 206 00:36:10,882 --> 00:36:13,112 -I�m just thinking about what to do. -Well, turn it back on! 207 00:36:13,318 --> 00:36:16,344 No, I can never think with you watching me. 208 00:36:16,555 --> 00:36:18,113 Should I rewind the music and continue? 209 00:36:18,323 --> 00:36:20,621 Yes! Yes! Rewind the tape! 210 00:36:21,159 --> 00:36:24,526 I can't think, 'cos I know you'll be listening. 211 00:36:24,730 --> 00:36:26,925 And I hope you're not laughing at me. 212 00:36:33,371 --> 00:36:35,931 Oh, come on, Alex! 213 00:36:38,376 --> 00:36:41,174 Rewind the tape! 214 00:36:43,882 --> 00:36:46,908 No, I don't think I�ll rewind the music yet. 215 00:36:47,119 --> 00:36:50,179 Let's talk for a minute, first. 216 00:36:52,524 --> 00:36:54,287 Now, just a moment. 217 00:37:05,837 --> 00:37:09,238 It�s our wedding photo, Steve. 218 00:37:10,375 --> 00:37:14,072 I just wanted to show you that before we started. 219 00:37:22,654 --> 00:37:25,748 First of all, I want to thank you for being... 220 00:37:25,957 --> 00:37:31,122 by most definitions, such a good father and provider. 221 00:37:31,329 --> 00:37:33,820 The kids love you, and you love them. 222 00:37:34,032 --> 00:37:38,435 And you do try your best with them. I see that and I recognize that. 223 00:37:38,637 --> 00:37:40,264 Thank you. 224 00:37:43,942 --> 00:37:46,968 They're good kids, aren't they? 225 00:37:50,916 --> 00:37:55,114 If there's one thing we've sort of done right it's the kids. 226 00:37:59,991 --> 00:38:01,982 But it's not enough, Steve. 227 00:38:02,594 --> 00:38:05,927 ''Good kids'' is not enough. 228 00:38:09,034 --> 00:38:13,061 You can hardly fail to have noticed that I�m not very happy. 229 00:38:13,271 --> 00:38:15,205 -That's an understatement. -That's an understatement, really. 230 00:38:15,407 --> 00:38:19,571 The truth is I�m actually very unhappy. 231 00:38:22,013 --> 00:38:24,140 I�m feeling a bit cold. 232 00:38:27,052 --> 00:38:31,113 I never used to be unhappy so I must have a lot to be unhappy about. 233 00:38:41,867 --> 00:38:44,961 Darling, I�ve heard all this before. 234 00:38:45,804 --> 00:38:49,740 There's nothing going on here that a little Prozac wouldn't fix. 235 00:38:51,009 --> 00:38:54,137 Or some effort at helping yourself. 236 00:39:24,342 --> 00:39:27,334 Happy birthday. 237 00:41:48,453 --> 00:41:49,715 Jesus! 238 00:42:16,714 --> 00:42:20,946 ...and I know you're a consummate liar, Steve. 239 00:42:21,152 --> 00:42:24,451 So don't think I don't know you get a bit on the side. 240 00:42:29,761 --> 00:42:32,753 Who is she, Steve? 241 00:42:32,964 --> 00:42:36,900 Or more politely, who are they? 242 00:43:19,477 --> 00:43:24,972 You've run my life into the ground, Steve. 243 00:43:26,684 --> 00:43:30,916 And what have I got? No choices. 244 00:43:31,122 --> 00:43:33,818 No rights. 245 00:43:34,025 --> 00:43:37,552 No money other than what you make me beg for. 246 00:43:37,762 --> 00:43:39,627 I�ve got nothing! 247 00:43:40,398 --> 00:43:43,299 Not even me! 248 00:43:46,604 --> 00:43:49,300 I don't exist! 249 00:44:03,555 --> 00:44:07,685 So I may as well not exist! 250 00:44:35,553 --> 00:44:37,953 Not loaded. 251 00:44:38,156 --> 00:44:40,249 More's the pity. 252 00:44:46,831 --> 00:44:48,765 Now just give me a minute. 253 00:44:49,834 --> 00:44:53,668 But keep watching. There's some really good bits coming up. 254 00:44:53,871 --> 00:44:55,270 Jesus Christ! 255 00:45:04,649 --> 00:45:08,346 Being a bit rough on you, aren't l? 256 00:45:11,556 --> 00:45:13,820 Getting a bit tight. 257 00:45:14,025 --> 00:45:17,119 Must be a size too small. 258 00:45:27,805 --> 00:45:31,241 That's better. Isn�t it, Steve? 259 00:45:32,410 --> 00:45:36,176 Get the blood circulating a bit better. 260 00:45:36,381 --> 00:45:38,178 I have to look after them... 261 00:45:38,383 --> 00:45:41,045 they're one of the few assets I have, aren't they? 262 00:45:45,657 --> 00:45:48,387 But unfortunately they're not. 263 00:45:48,593 --> 00:45:53,428 They're not an asset, Steve, they're liability. 264 00:46:10,948 --> 00:46:14,076 The thing I�ve been leading to with all this... 265 00:46:14,285 --> 00:46:17,516 and please forgive my erratic behavior... 266 00:46:18,556 --> 00:46:23,255 is that three days ago... 267 00:46:23,461 --> 00:46:27,124 this biopsy confirmed... 268 00:46:27,332 --> 00:46:29,425 that I have breast cancer. 269 00:46:34,172 --> 00:46:38,973 Left breast is absolutely riddled. 270 00:46:39,177 --> 00:46:41,805 Right breast on the way. 271 00:46:42,180 --> 00:46:46,640 It�s already in my lymph nodes. 272 00:46:51,589 --> 00:46:55,548 I left it too late. I was scared. 273 00:46:59,063 --> 00:47:03,056 I�m a mess, as you can see. 274 00:47:05,303 --> 00:47:09,103 I have a 50-50 chance of surviving it. 275 00:47:11,275 --> 00:47:14,733 My breasts have no chance. 276 00:47:16,447 --> 00:47:20,884 You'd better take a good look at them now... 277 00:47:22,987 --> 00:47:26,354 because they're coming off next week. 278 00:47:26,557 --> 00:47:29,355 Both of them. 279 00:47:32,130 --> 00:47:36,533 A double radical mastectomy. 280 00:47:40,171 --> 00:47:41,934 I�m scared, Stevie. 281 00:47:42,140 --> 00:47:44,836 I tried to tell you, but I didn't know where to begin. 282 00:47:46,577 --> 00:47:49,512 But I�m being brave about it. 283 00:47:49,714 --> 00:47:55,152 I�ll send the kids away for a few weeks, Jane will look after them. 284 00:47:55,453 --> 00:47:58,684 We'll see what happens. 285 00:48:00,825 --> 00:48:05,319 Will you come and visit me, Steve, in the hospital? 286 00:48:11,169 --> 00:48:15,572 You won't want to see me without breasts, will you? 287 00:48:15,973 --> 00:48:20,034 I won't be a real woman anymore. 288 00:48:44,936 --> 00:48:47,166 Steve! I�m cured! 289 00:48:47,371 --> 00:48:49,965 Look! No biopsy, no cancer! 290 00:48:50,174 --> 00:48:52,233 They're almost as good as they ever were! 291 00:48:54,212 --> 00:48:59,377 Had you going then, didn't l? Hope you can take a joke. 292 00:49:00,518 --> 00:49:02,179 But, you know, it does make me think... 293 00:49:02,386 --> 00:49:04,354 maybe I should have a breast makeover. 294 00:49:08,025 --> 00:49:13,793 Jesus, you are sick! You are fucking sick! 295 00:49:53,871 --> 00:49:54,963 ...makeover? 296 00:49:55,172 --> 00:49:58,107 Bigger. Silicone? 297 00:49:58,309 --> 00:49:59,833 No, I don't think so. 298 00:50:00,044 --> 00:50:03,605 ''More than a handful's a waste.'' Isn�t that what you say? 299 00:50:03,814 --> 00:50:05,281 Have them lifted. 300 00:50:06,350 --> 00:50:10,411 They stand up quite well, don't you think? 301 00:50:10,922 --> 00:50:14,653 I know! Maybe I should have my nipples pierced. 302 00:50:14,859 --> 00:50:18,955 Would you like that? Pierced nipples? Yes? 303 00:50:19,664 --> 00:50:21,962 Well, that's even something I could do myself. 304 00:50:22,166 --> 00:50:25,567 In fact, I could do it now so you can watch. 305 00:50:28,039 --> 00:50:31,497 Found one and I�ve burnt the end of it already so you wouldn't have... 306 00:50:31,709 --> 00:50:35,270 to sit through the boring bit. Considerate, aren't l? 307 00:50:35,479 --> 00:50:39,882 Now, let's see... see if I�m brave enough to do it. 308 00:50:41,152 --> 00:50:44,246 I think... I think they stick it in the side. 309 00:50:53,898 --> 00:50:56,162 I think I have to push harder. 310 00:51:20,992 --> 00:51:23,893 There's blood here, Steve. 311 00:51:24,562 --> 00:51:27,292 I don't know if you can see it, but there's blood. 312 00:51:27,632 --> 00:51:29,793 Can you see it? 313 00:51:41,479 --> 00:51:44,915 I don't know how anyone can do it. 314 00:51:45,116 --> 00:51:47,141 -Not yet. -What the fuck...?! 315 00:51:47,351 --> 00:51:50,115 Ignore that, honey. It wasn't meant to happen. 316 00:51:50,988 --> 00:51:54,583 Ignore it? How the fuck can I ignore that? 317 00:51:58,162 --> 00:51:59,322 That's him. 318 00:52:00,731 --> 00:52:03,859 It�s that fucking hairy-handed, watering garden gnome! 319 00:52:07,605 --> 00:52:11,041 I don't know how anyone can do it. 320 00:52:11,242 --> 00:52:12,402 -Not yet! -Shut up... 321 00:52:12,610 --> 00:52:14,874 Ignore that, honey. It wasn't meant to happen. 322 00:52:16,781 --> 00:52:17,770 Shut up. 323 00:52:40,404 --> 00:52:42,304 Right. 324 00:52:42,506 --> 00:52:45,771 That's it. This is enough! 325 00:52:45,976 --> 00:52:48,968 Enough is enough! 326 00:52:50,548 --> 00:52:53,244 You bastard! 327 00:53:35,926 --> 00:53:37,689 Fuck! 328 00:53:45,336 --> 00:53:47,531 Fuck! 329 00:54:52,136 --> 00:54:55,230 This is not funny, Alex. 330 00:56:07,811 --> 00:56:10,006 Fuck! 331 00:57:13,644 --> 00:57:17,205 I can hardly go outside and have one, can l? 332 00:57:30,894 --> 00:57:32,521 I wonder what other tricks you've got hidden away... 333 00:57:32,730 --> 00:57:35,426 in that sick little mind of yours. 334 00:57:36,000 --> 00:57:38,594 Ignore that, honey. It wasn't meant to happen. 335 00:57:38,802 --> 00:57:40,770 That was not meant to happen. 336 00:57:40,971 --> 00:57:42,871 Perhaps we'd better forget about the nipple piercing... 337 00:57:43,073 --> 00:57:45,371 and get down to serious business. 338 00:57:47,778 --> 00:57:50,372 I hope you're still watching. 339 00:57:52,383 --> 00:57:55,682 You remember our wedding night, Steve? 340 00:57:58,455 --> 00:58:00,787 I do. 341 00:58:01,325 --> 00:58:04,988 Almost every minute of it. 342 00:58:06,797 --> 00:58:11,325 You wanted me. You needed me. 343 00:58:11,535 --> 00:58:13,833 You touched me everywhere. 344 00:58:14,571 --> 00:58:17,597 Even in my heart. 345 00:58:18,409 --> 00:58:21,435 And the next morning it was the same. 346 00:58:21,645 --> 00:58:25,604 You didn't let me get dressed the whole day. 347 00:58:25,816 --> 00:58:28,546 You wanted nothing but me. 348 00:58:29,019 --> 00:58:32,352 You made me feel so special. 349 00:58:32,556 --> 00:58:34,319 And that night... 350 00:58:34,758 --> 00:58:39,092 And it was even more adventurous. 351 00:58:39,296 --> 00:58:44,029 And then the next day you still didn't want us to get dressed. 352 00:58:44,234 --> 00:58:47,795 You wanted to see my naked body always. 353 00:58:48,205 --> 00:58:50,867 To feel it on and on. 354 00:58:51,608 --> 00:58:54,941 To touch it and to explore it... 355 00:58:55,145 --> 00:58:57,875 and pleasure it. 356 00:59:00,417 --> 00:59:04,877 And the next day... and the next... 357 00:59:05,889 --> 00:59:10,849 until I realized it had nothing to do with me. 358 00:59:11,261 --> 00:59:15,994 That it was just between you and my body. 359 00:59:17,868 --> 00:59:21,861 You hadn't married me, you'd married my body. 360 00:59:22,539 --> 00:59:27,340 You didn't need me, you only needed my body. 361 00:59:29,346 --> 00:59:32,247 Isn�t that right? 362 00:59:47,531 --> 00:59:50,694 And then, only weeks later... 363 00:59:50,901 --> 00:59:56,032 before I could do anything l discovered I was pregnant with Emma. 364 00:59:56,807 --> 00:59:58,832 Then what could I do? 365 01:00:08,719 --> 01:00:12,985 It�s a long time since you made them talk to each other, Steve. 366 01:00:18,462 --> 01:00:21,659 ''Hi. I�m Alexandra.'' 367 01:00:21,865 --> 01:00:26,063 ''Hi. I�m Steve.'' 368 01:00:32,476 --> 01:00:37,379 Do you have any idea how I felt whenever you did that? 369 01:00:38,916 --> 01:00:40,850 I don't suppose you do. 370 01:00:41,051 --> 01:00:43,576 I felt like a cow. 371 01:00:43,787 --> 01:00:47,655 I felt like a mother ape in a zoo! 372 01:00:49,626 --> 01:00:51,924 It wasn't like that. 373 01:00:56,233 --> 01:01:01,227 That's our marriage, Steve. You and my naked body. 374 01:01:01,438 --> 01:01:04,339 And as long as I gave you access to my body... 375 01:01:04,541 --> 01:01:07,339 you were satisfied that the marriage was going well. 376 01:01:07,544 --> 01:01:11,241 And you were content to give lip service to all those other things... 377 01:01:11,448 --> 01:01:13,006 that are supposed to be part of a marriage... 378 01:01:13,217 --> 01:01:18,780 like affection and respect, and mutual support, and togetherness... 379 01:01:19,356 --> 01:01:20,687 ''Togetherness''! 380 01:01:20,891 --> 01:01:23,826 You think togetherness is both of us naked in the same bed... 381 01:01:24,027 --> 01:01:28,191 while you grope my tits and ass and finger my cunt! 382 01:02:01,965 --> 01:02:06,527 Groping is easy, Steve. Anyone can do it. 383 01:05:33,009 --> 01:05:35,807 Okay, that's enough. That's enough. 384 01:05:40,851 --> 01:05:44,617 Sorry, Steve. I got a bit carried away there. 385 01:05:50,660 --> 01:05:53,754 I think you should look carefully now, Steve. 386 01:05:53,964 --> 01:05:55,955 Pay attention. 387 01:05:56,166 --> 01:05:58,896 Because I�m going to take my panties off... 388 01:05:59,102 --> 01:06:02,594 and you know where that usually leads us. 389 01:06:14,050 --> 01:06:16,348 See, Steve? 390 01:06:16,553 --> 01:06:19,283 My naked body. 391 01:06:21,358 --> 01:06:25,556 The body you used to love so much. 392 01:06:26,162 --> 01:06:29,188 The body you're still married to, for better or for worse. 393 01:06:29,499 --> 01:06:34,266 a little the worse since the kids. But still your body. 394 01:06:34,471 --> 01:06:37,463 Take a good look at it. 395 01:06:37,674 --> 01:06:39,266 You'll be able to look at this body... 396 01:06:39,776 --> 01:06:43,576 this tape, again and again. 397 01:06:51,421 --> 01:06:53,548 So... 398 01:06:53,757 --> 01:06:58,387 Right down to nothing. Nothing hidden anymore. 399 01:06:59,829 --> 01:07:02,764 Time to talk about ''the tunnel of love''. 400 01:07:04,234 --> 01:07:07,829 Hard for me to call it anything else after all this time. 401 01:07:13,977 --> 01:07:17,174 It�s precious to me, Steve. 402 01:07:18,315 --> 01:07:19,646 It�s private. 403 01:07:19,849 --> 01:07:22,215 It�s mine. 404 01:07:24,788 --> 01:07:28,121 So what do you do? 405 01:07:28,325 --> 01:07:33,353 At first you just look for opportunities to stick that thing of yours in. 406 01:07:33,563 --> 01:07:36,054 That's what you do, Steve, you stick it in and move it round a bit... 407 01:07:36,266 --> 01:07:39,360 at every available opportunity. 408 01:07:39,603 --> 01:07:41,798 And then when there aren't enough opportunities... 409 01:07:42,005 --> 01:07:47,341 to satisfy your endless need, you begin to pressure me. 410 01:07:47,544 --> 01:07:50,240 Never so much as to be offensive. 411 01:07:50,447 --> 01:07:53,143 You're too smart for that. 412 01:07:53,350 --> 01:07:54,942 But a constant pressure. 413 01:07:55,151 --> 01:07:59,713 Always knocking on the door, asking to come in. 414 01:07:59,923 --> 01:08:03,359 Never waiting to be invited in. 415 01:08:04,394 --> 01:08:08,455 Then comes the finger. 416 01:08:10,700 --> 01:08:14,431 The finger that's like an octopus that suddenly manages... 417 01:08:14,638 --> 01:08:16,731 to find its way into the ''tunnel of love''... 418 01:08:16,940 --> 01:08:18,567 at the most unexpected moments... 419 01:08:18,775 --> 01:08:22,267 when maybe all I�m wanting is some affection... 420 01:08:22,479 --> 01:08:26,609 or I�m in the shower and suddenly you're in there too... 421 01:08:26,816 --> 01:08:29,876 with your finger, or I�m at the sink washing up... 422 01:08:30,086 --> 01:08:34,284 and suddenly you come up behind me and there's the finger. 423 01:08:34,791 --> 01:08:39,285 Why do you think I never wear skirts or dresses anymore? 424 01:08:40,964 --> 01:08:46,698 Worse is when I�m asleep and l wake up to find your finger inside me. 425 01:08:46,903 --> 01:08:49,599 Sneakily trying to get me excited... 426 01:08:49,806 --> 01:08:54,539 so that you can stick your thing in and move it round a bit. 427 01:08:55,278 --> 01:08:59,578 Then, Steve, there's this: 428 01:09:04,120 --> 01:09:07,385 you smuggle one of these into bed with us... 429 01:09:07,590 --> 01:09:12,254 and when I�m ready to receive you into my ''tunnel of love''... 430 01:09:12,462 --> 01:09:17,422 you insert the cucumber, pretending it's you. 431 01:09:18,034 --> 01:09:21,595 The cucumber was a turning point, Steve. 432 01:09:21,805 --> 01:09:26,640 Because I realized how far gone you were, how obsessed. 433 01:09:28,478 --> 01:09:32,915 Did you select the right sized one at the supermarket... 434 01:09:33,116 --> 01:09:37,018 knowing what you were going to be doing with it? 435 01:09:38,421 --> 01:09:44,917 And when you paid for it, did you think about sticking it up the cashier? 436 01:09:45,829 --> 01:09:49,287 How many previous nights had you smuggled it into bed... 437 01:09:49,499 --> 01:09:52,297 hoping to be able to use it? 438 01:09:53,436 --> 01:09:56,405 What goes on in that mind of yours... 439 01:09:56,606 --> 01:10:02,704 to think it would be okay to stick it in me without asking me? 440 01:10:06,883 --> 01:10:10,410 That's what I should have done to you then. 441 01:10:11,387 --> 01:10:15,016 And that's the beauty of this video, Steve. I can say what I want to say. 442 01:10:15,225 --> 01:10:17,819 I can say the things you never let me say. 443 01:10:18,027 --> 01:10:21,087 I can say them without being interrupted or without being... 444 01:10:21,297 --> 01:10:24,664 talked over the top of, without being told I wouldn't know... 445 01:10:24,868 --> 01:10:27,393 or I have peculiar ideas. 446 01:10:29,272 --> 01:10:31,832 Then, finally, there's this: 447 01:10:37,447 --> 01:10:41,213 Nice birthday present, Steve. I really appreciated it. 448 01:10:41,417 --> 01:10:42,679 ''What did you get for your birthday, mum?'' 449 01:10:42,886 --> 01:10:45,946 ''Oh, a vibrator, darling.'' 450 01:10:46,156 --> 01:10:48,420 ''Your father's trying to improve our sex lives... 451 01:10:48,625 --> 01:10:51,219 but he wouldn't have a clue.'' 452 01:10:58,568 --> 01:11:00,661 Do you know what this is, Steve? 453 01:11:01,671 --> 01:11:06,165 I�ll tell you what this is. This is a machine. 454 01:11:06,376 --> 01:11:12,110 It�s a machine you bought to go inside me so that you can get your rocks off. 455 01:11:12,315 --> 01:11:14,340 Don't say it was for me because it wasn't. 456 01:11:14,551 --> 01:11:18,351 If I wanted one I would have bought myself one long ago. 457 01:11:18,555 --> 01:11:24,551 What does this thing make me in your eyes? Just another machine. 458 01:11:25,829 --> 01:11:31,096 You can stick this up your ass if it gives you so much pleasure! 459 01:11:34,404 --> 01:11:36,702 Who are you, Steve? 460 01:11:36,906 --> 01:11:41,866 How can you need this part of me and not this part. Not me? 461 01:12:01,698 --> 01:12:03,757 But I�ve learnt from you, Steve. 462 01:12:05,568 --> 01:12:09,197 I don't need you anymore. 463 01:12:09,405 --> 01:12:12,374 See? I�m doing it myself. 464 01:12:18,748 --> 01:12:22,707 I don't need any part of you. 465 01:12:27,357 --> 01:12:30,224 I don't even need your money. 466 01:12:30,426 --> 01:12:32,360 I�ve made some money of my own. 467 01:12:32,795 --> 01:12:35,423 Yes, really! 468 01:12:40,470 --> 01:12:43,268 Don't you ever wonder what I do all day? 469 01:12:43,473 --> 01:12:47,603 When the kids are at school, day after day? 470 01:12:47,810 --> 01:12:50,677 I�ll tell you what I do. 471 01:12:51,281 --> 01:12:53,545 I make money. 472 01:12:53,750 --> 01:12:56,981 And I�ll show you how. 473 01:12:57,186 --> 01:12:59,177 I�m ready. 474 01:13:02,292 --> 01:13:03,554 Don't. 475 01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:06,354 Don't do this. 476 01:13:21,644 --> 01:13:25,671 This is how I�ve made my money, Steve. 477 01:13:32,555 --> 01:13:37,857 Although this one's free, for services rendered. 478 01:13:48,738 --> 01:13:50,000 Don't do this! 479 01:13:51,507 --> 01:13:56,535 It�s my choice, Steve. That's the difference. 480 01:14:27,210 --> 01:14:29,678 I�m going to kill you. 481 01:15:21,597 --> 01:15:26,159 We'd better do it again, Steve. Better go on. 482 01:15:26,369 --> 01:15:30,169 Can never have too much of a good thing, can we? 483 01:15:34,343 --> 01:15:37,244 Same again? 484 01:15:37,447 --> 01:15:40,177 Or something different? 485 01:15:41,017 --> 01:15:47,013 You want to see me ''cop that up the ass'', as you so delicately put it? 486 01:15:47,223 --> 01:15:51,887 ''I�d like to see that bastard next door cop it up the ass some day.'' 487 01:15:52,428 --> 01:15:54,362 Isn�t that what you say? 488 01:15:55,498 --> 01:16:01,960 Well, here's your chance to see that bastard next door give it up the ass. 489 01:16:06,375 --> 01:16:08,741 No? 490 01:16:10,179 --> 01:16:12,807 What's the matter? 491 01:16:13,082 --> 01:16:16,950 Don't you like your birthday present? 492 01:16:20,857 --> 01:16:22,415 Alex... 493 01:16:25,194 --> 01:16:27,287 Alex... 494 01:16:27,497 --> 01:16:30,898 My name is Alexandra. 495 01:16:31,200 --> 01:16:32,997 what? 496 01:16:33,202 --> 01:16:35,727 How many times do I have to say? I hate Alex. 497 01:16:36,005 --> 01:16:40,135 I hate it when you call me that. I have a name. It�s Alexandra. 498 01:16:55,424 --> 01:16:58,587 This is the tricky part, Steve. 499 01:17:00,062 --> 01:17:02,053 what? 500 01:17:03,166 --> 01:17:07,535 This is where you discover the remote doesn't work anymore. 501 01:17:33,062 --> 01:17:37,362 well, you're here, but... but I rewound you. 502 01:17:37,567 --> 01:17:40,229 I paused you. 503 01:17:40,436 --> 01:17:44,031 It�s one of life's mysteries, Steve. 504 01:17:50,379 --> 01:17:54,145 You're mad. you're completely mad. 505 01:17:54,350 --> 01:17:57,581 Yes, I�m mad, but not in the way you think. 506 01:17:57,787 --> 01:18:01,746 Remember that bullet you received in your mobile phone? 507 01:18:04,694 --> 01:18:08,960 There's another just like it pointed at you this very moment. 508 01:18:11,100 --> 01:18:15,935 So be a good boy and sit down in your armchair. 509 01:18:20,576 --> 01:18:23,443 Do it, Steve. 510 01:18:34,624 --> 01:18:35,750 Thank you. 511 01:18:36,459 --> 01:18:39,917 I just want to finish this the way I planned it. 512 01:18:43,733 --> 01:18:47,100 You need help, Alexandra. You need treatment. 513 01:18:47,303 --> 01:18:48,736 It�s always the first thought, isn't it, when a woman... 514 01:18:48,938 --> 01:18:50,462 takes action against her husband? 515 01:18:51,841 --> 01:18:54,810 Now we come to the best part of your birthday present: 516 01:18:55,011 --> 01:18:57,206 your final humiliation. 517 01:18:57,413 --> 01:18:59,973 Although this one needs to be pretty good and permanent to make up... 518 01:19:00,182 --> 01:19:02,275 for the years that I went through. 519 01:19:02,485 --> 01:19:07,218 This one's different to the one you've just seen, Steve. 520 01:19:07,423 --> 01:19:11,860 That was pre-recorded. This one's live! 521 01:19:13,129 --> 01:19:16,656 It'll all be happening right in front of your eyes. 522 01:19:18,367 --> 01:19:20,927 Are you ready? 523 01:19:21,137 --> 01:19:23,799 Are you ready, Steve? 524 01:19:24,807 --> 01:19:29,506 What? Not playing talkies? It�s alright by me. 525 01:19:29,712 --> 01:19:31,612 You can go, then. 526 01:19:43,159 --> 01:19:46,322 You think I�m watching you, don't you? 527 01:20:06,215 --> 01:20:08,706 Gotcha. 528 01:20:54,130 --> 01:20:57,531 He's back! He's back on the air! 529 01:20:58,934 --> 01:21:00,561 You're back, Steve. 530 01:21:02,505 --> 01:21:06,908 But I can't see you very well. Are you watching? 531 01:21:08,811 --> 01:21:10,972 No. I�m not watching. 532 01:21:11,981 --> 01:21:14,643 At least you're listening. 533 01:21:14,850 --> 01:21:19,184 -Where are you? -None of your business. 534 01:21:23,058 --> 01:21:26,118 You're getting the hang of this a little faster than I�d hoped. 535 01:21:28,197 --> 01:21:30,961 We're gonna have to cut it short. 536 01:21:31,500 --> 01:21:34,526 Looks like you won't get the last part of your birthday present. 537 01:21:34,737 --> 01:21:36,796 Good! 538 01:21:39,775 --> 01:21:43,472 In fact, you'll never get another present from me again. 539 01:21:43,679 --> 01:21:45,874 well, that makes me very, very happy. 540 01:21:47,116 --> 01:21:49,676 And well it might. 541 01:21:49,885 --> 01:21:55,448 What makes you so very happy, Steve, is Emma and Sam. 542 01:22:08,337 --> 01:22:12,774 -There you are. -What about Emma and Sam? 543 01:22:12,975 --> 01:22:17,639 I�ve taken considerable trouble, Steve... 544 01:22:17,847 --> 01:22:21,647 to eradicate them from your life. 545 01:22:23,352 --> 01:22:26,685 You'll never see them again. 546 01:22:27,022 --> 01:22:31,254 Nor will you find a single photograph of them. 547 01:22:31,460 --> 01:22:34,088 I�ve taken every one. 548 01:22:34,296 --> 01:22:38,528 Baby photos, recent photos... 549 01:22:38,734 --> 01:22:40,759 the photos from your office. 550 01:22:42,538 --> 01:22:46,167 Even the photos from your wallet. 551 01:22:47,109 --> 01:22:51,205 There's nothing of them left for you to ever see. 552 01:22:53,482 --> 01:22:55,473 Soon... 553 01:22:55,684 --> 01:23:01,987 Emma and Sam will begin to fade a little from your memory. 554 01:23:02,925 --> 01:23:07,919 You'll start to forget little details about them. 555 01:23:09,498 --> 01:23:16,028 And one day, you won't even be able to remember their faces. 556 01:23:16,238 --> 01:23:20,368 And then your life will be completely empty. 557 01:23:27,917 --> 01:23:31,444 I got promoted today. 558 01:23:32,788 --> 01:23:38,021 Well, it's a pity Emma and Sam will never know. 559 01:23:38,227 --> 01:23:41,663 They'd have been proud of you. 560 01:23:42,331 --> 01:23:46,062 But they'll soon enough forget you too. 561 01:23:48,938 --> 01:23:51,270 what have I done to deserve this? 562 01:23:51,473 --> 01:23:55,000 what have I done to deserve this? 563 01:23:55,210 --> 01:23:58,543 I�ll tell you what you've done, Steve. 564 01:23:58,747 --> 01:24:03,081 You've constantly made me feel the way you do now! 565 01:24:03,652 --> 01:24:07,952 I thought we had an okay marriage. Not perfect, but okay. 566 01:24:08,557 --> 01:24:12,425 I mean, you love me, we both love the kids. 567 01:24:12,761 --> 01:24:16,629 where are the kids? 568 01:24:17,967 --> 01:24:21,130 Oh, my taxi has arrived. 569 01:24:22,671 --> 01:24:25,868 This is goodbye, Steve. 570 01:24:26,075 --> 01:24:28,043 You can't touch me. 571 01:24:28,243 --> 01:24:30,837 You'll never find me. 572 01:24:31,046 --> 01:24:34,641 I�ll be somewhere far, far away... 573 01:24:34,850 --> 01:24:37,580 with the children. 574 01:24:40,522 --> 01:24:44,356 I hope you have a happy life with yourself. 575 01:24:51,100 --> 01:24:53,500 No. 576 01:24:53,702 --> 01:24:57,297 No, don't do this! 577 01:28:57,880 --> 01:28:58,938 Happy birthday, Steve. 578 01:29:01,750 --> 01:29:04,446 I have a license to use this on intruders. 579 01:29:06,989 --> 01:29:10,516 In my line of business it pays to be friendly with the cops. 580 01:29:13,295 --> 01:29:15,024 Please, Steve... 581 01:29:15,530 --> 01:29:18,363 ...make yourself comfortable. -Where's Alexandra? 582 01:29:18,567 --> 01:29:21,434 She's gone, my friend. 583 01:29:22,104 --> 01:29:24,436 Gone. 584 01:29:25,240 --> 01:29:28,403 Sit down, please. 585 01:29:29,411 --> 01:29:31,140 Have this one. 586 01:29:31,346 --> 01:29:35,077 And we'll have another one later, after I call the police. 587 01:29:42,824 --> 01:29:44,985 Duty officer, please. 588 01:29:52,267 --> 01:29:55,668 You've had a bad day. Have another one. 589 01:29:57,806 --> 01:29:59,296 who's that? 590 01:29:59,508 --> 01:30:04,571 Ah, Rob. How are you? It�s Bill. Bill Con. 591 01:30:04,780 --> 01:30:10,150 Listen, I�ve got a bloke bailed up here. He broke into my house. 592 01:30:10,352 --> 01:30:12,786 well, he smashed his way in... 593 01:30:12,988 --> 01:30:17,118 with an idea of doing some damage to my person. 594 01:30:18,393 --> 01:30:20,759 Very funny, really. 595 01:30:20,963 --> 01:30:25,161 No, no, no. I�m not going to press any charges. 596 01:30:28,804 --> 01:30:33,503 He's understandably a little bit drunk and a lot upset. 597 01:30:34,476 --> 01:30:38,606 well, just come over here when you have time. Pick him up. 598 01:30:38,814 --> 01:30:42,443 Hold him overnight and cool him down a bit. 599 01:30:42,651 --> 01:30:46,348 when you're ready. Thank you, Rob. Bye. 600 01:30:48,724 --> 01:30:50,988 He thought it was very funny... 601 01:30:51,193 --> 01:30:54,720 that The Complete Home Security Company was broken in. 602 01:30:56,098 --> 01:30:59,795 Ah, these cops! They've got a sense of humor. 603 01:31:02,537 --> 01:31:06,098 Probably you neglected to bring your own. 604 01:31:11,546 --> 01:31:14,538 You look like shit. 605 01:31:18,987 --> 01:31:21,421 I feel really sorry for you, Steve. 606 01:31:25,193 --> 01:31:29,152 You are going to suffer for a while. 607 01:31:34,970 --> 01:31:39,100 She's a very intelligent woman. 608 01:31:43,278 --> 01:31:45,678 Your wife. 609 01:31:49,017 --> 01:31:50,006 Very clever. 610 01:31:50,485 --> 01:31:54,615 She's not as smart as she thinks she is. 611 01:32:02,397 --> 01:32:05,059 I�ve got the tape. 612 01:32:05,367 --> 01:32:10,532 Oh yes, you are meant to have it. 613 01:32:14,743 --> 01:32:17,541 I�ve got the kids. 614 01:32:17,746 --> 01:32:21,580 She forgot the kids were on the tape. 615 01:32:21,783 --> 01:32:25,048 I�ve still got them. 616 01:32:25,520 --> 01:32:30,457 well, I�m really sorry, but... 617 01:32:31,393 --> 01:32:35,921 when you locked up I must go to your place and... 618 01:32:36,131 --> 01:32:37,894 erase them. 619 01:32:38,100 --> 01:32:42,594 That's the final part of my contract. 620 01:32:44,306 --> 01:32:47,002 She thought of everything. 621 01:32:47,676 --> 01:32:50,975 She's a great woman. 622 01:32:51,813 --> 01:32:54,611 She's mad. 623 01:32:55,750 --> 01:32:58,412 Crazy. 624 01:32:59,121 --> 01:33:04,286 Some years ago my wife left me... 625 01:33:04,493 --> 01:33:08,930 and I was certain that she was mad. 626 01:33:09,764 --> 01:33:12,494 There was no doubt about it. 627 01:33:12,701 --> 01:33:18,571 But then later I met her and I understood that she was not. 628 01:33:19,441 --> 01:33:22,035 For it was I who caused her to be that way. 629 01:33:26,648 --> 01:33:29,481 She was not mad. 630 01:33:29,684 --> 01:33:34,087 I drove her mad, but she was not mad. 631 01:33:35,323 --> 01:33:37,985 It�s a funny thing. 632 01:33:40,228 --> 01:33:42,458 It�s time to go. 633 01:33:45,133 --> 01:33:47,624 wait a minute! 634 01:33:47,836 --> 01:33:49,497 Let's go. 635 01:33:49,704 --> 01:33:51,797 Come on. 636 01:33:57,445 --> 01:34:00,505 I�ll tell you what I�ll do for you. 637 01:34:02,617 --> 01:34:05,552 She will never know this. 638 01:34:07,522 --> 01:34:12,459 I�ll leave a little bit of your kids on the tape. 639 01:34:13,929 --> 01:34:17,524 You'd do that for me? 640 01:34:18,200 --> 01:34:21,601 Just a little bit. 641 01:34:23,572 --> 01:34:26,598 -Thank you. -That's okay. 642 01:34:29,978 --> 01:34:35,644 By the way, come and visit me when they let you go. 643 01:34:35,850 --> 01:34:38,978 I�ll give you your new keys. 644 01:34:39,187 --> 01:34:43,123 After all, you paid for them. 645 01:35:37,812 --> 01:35:39,211 Shit! 646 01:35:46,821 --> 01:35:49,415 Is Alexandra in? 647 01:35:54,829 --> 01:35:57,127 Mistress Alexandra? 648 01:36:06,875 --> 01:36:09,241 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 649 01:36:13,181 --> 01:36:15,649 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 650 01:36:19,587 --> 01:36:22,750 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 651 01:36:26,027 --> 01:36:29,554 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 652 01:36:32,667 --> 01:36:36,068 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 653 01:36:39,207 --> 01:36:41,675 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 654 01:36:45,747 --> 01:36:48,113 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 655 01:36:52,354 --> 01:36:54,914 -Cheers, dad! -Cheers. 53213

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