Original subtitles

It was the nicest little whorehouse you ever saw.

It lay about a mile outside the city limits, so everybody could feel real

friendly. Sheriff Jack Roy Wallace picked it out for Miss Wooligine in

1910, and she moved there with her girls from over the hardware store on Main

Street.

Hold up.

Little house lay in a green Texas blade Where the trees were

as cool and as fresh as they Soft summer wind

had a trace of perfume And the fan was turning

in every room Twenty fans were turning, they were turning Twenty fans

were turning in every room Peepers were a-furnin', they were burnin', and they

had to have a way to cool down.

Right from the beginning, the little house was kind of special, like a home

away from home.

Miss Wooler-Jean put a piano in the parlor to sort of help break the ice.

A fella could ask a girl to dance.

or if he held back a little she'd ask him and pretty soon they'd get a little

business going two dollars were it wasn't long before

the place became one of the better known pleasure palaces in all of texas so much

so that the fellas who visited during world war one sent their sons back in

world war ii the hospitality and friendliness never changed And neither

did Miss Woologene's strict set of rules.

She liked her ladies, as she called them, to treat her customers real good,

but never in an unladylike way.

And she insisted that each girl check her gentleman for the clap and wash him

off with soap and warm water.

Some of the fellas claimed that that was the best part.

It was only during the Hoover Depression that the little house had a spell of

tough times.

Miss Woologene put in a jukebox to spark up business.

But it wasn't always easy in them days to come up with hard cash.

Well, you just keep that in the bag and I'll take it out back as soon as we're

finished.

So for a while, as the story goes, the girls begin accepting poultry in trade.

One bird, one lay.

And that's how the place got its name, the Chicken Ranch.

Of course, if you grew up anywhere in Texas, you knew at an early age they

were selling something out there.

And it wasn't poultry.

They were turning, 20 pets were turning in every room. This is for a friend.

They were burning, and they had to have a way to die.

20 pets were humming, they were humming. 20 pets were humming in every room.

Customers were coming, they were coming. And they had to have a way to die.

Y'all come back now, do you hear?

And I have a way to go down.

20 bucks a giant, they're returning.

20 bucks a giant in every hood. You can start burning, you're burning.

And I have a way to go down.

So, for over three generations, the chicken ranch went peacefully about its

business, while the people here in Gilbert went about theirs.

That is, until about seven years ago.

I was a deputy back then, working for Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd. He wanted me to

remind you about your two o'clock appointment.

That was right after I had lost the fried chicken franchise here in town,

while Ed Earl had been sheriff ever since old Jack Roy Wallace retired.

Everybody liked Ed Earl, especially Ed Earl.

Of course, he sure didn't know his job, and he was a big influence on me, taught

me everything I know.

He used to like to run a quiet town with plenty of time off for socializing and

coffee over at Dulce May's Cafe.

Oh, now and again, there'd be a problem, and we had some tough ones.

Like the time the mule sat on Miss Modine's car. But he just buckled up his

legs and sat right down.

She was really having a hissy fit, but it didn't faze Ed Earl.

He just walked over to that jackass and laid down the law.

You see, Ed Earl always believed in talking first.

Cool reasoning, he used to tell me, could solve any problem.

Of course, he did have a bit of a temper.

Anyway, just about the time he became sheriff, Miss Woologene passed on.

She left the chicken ranch to her favorite working girl, Mona Stangley,

who saw the little house as a Texas institution and aimed to keep it that

way.

It's just a little bitty pissing country place.

Ain't nothing much to see.

No drinking allowed.

We get a nice quiet crowd.

Plain as it can be.

It's just a bitty squatting old time country place.

Nothing too high tone.

Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small trio.

But there's nothing dirty going on.

Nothing dirty going on. We get simple farmers, local businessmen,

congress folks from Austin, young boys looking for sin.

Now we used to get a lot of roughnecks when the oil boom was high.

Hey there, get a little rowdy. Thank God the field run dry. It's just a little

bitty pissant country place.

Nothing much to see.

No drinking allowed.

We get a nice white crop.

Plain as it can be. It's just a bitty squatting old time country place.

Nothing too high tone.

Just lots of good wheel and maybe one small thrill. But there's nothing dirty

going on.

Keep your language clean, girls. Keep your bedrooms neat.

And don't hang around the town cafe and say hi on the street.

Mind your P's and Q's and manners, and you don't need no other tools.

Cause every girl that lives here knows my special no-no rules.

Yeah, every girl that lives here knows Miss Mona's no-no rules. Ruby Ray

stardom. There's a night to be wallowed in, that's the kind of thing that big

fat lazy hogs do.

Don't make money, Beatrice. And I won't tolerate no tying up my telephone with

other people's business.

Eloy's honey.

And please don't show us no tattoos, no hearts and flowers on your thigh.

It's downright tacky.

Brands belong on cattle, and that ain't what we're selling at Miss Motors. Do

you catch my drift?

I pay the food and the rent and the utilities. You keep your mind on your

work responsibilities.

Don't let your mouth.

And we can get along.

Don't.

Any bad habits you come in with, get rid of right now. Tattie Jo. I can't stand

no chewing gum. It looks just like a cow.

Linda Lou. Anyone taking sick leave ought to be real sure they're sick.

And every time you hear that bell, you better get here double quick.

And as for pimps, pimps are something you don't need to get your daily

business done.

Are you listening good?

Keep that bleaches and bloodsuckers off the back roads. I know how to use a gun,

and nobody messes with my girls.

And any questions you might have about the way I run this place, don't gripe

and whine behind my back.

Just tell me face to face, I'm open-minded. Say it all, then go

upstairs and pack the doors that-a-way.

She pays the food and the rent and the utilities. We keep our mind and our work

responsibilities.

Don't let your mouth overload your capabilities.

And we can get along.

Well, howdy, boy.

It's good to see you. Nice to meet you. Come on over here. I'd like you to meet

my girls.

It's just a little bitty piece of country play.

Much to see.

No drinking allowed.

We get a nice, quiet crowd.

Playing as it can be.

It's just a bittersweet, old-time country place.

Nothing too hot at all.

Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill.

But it's hot and dirty going on. It's just a little bitty, pissy country

place. Nothing much to see.

No drinking allowed, we get a nice, quiet crowd.

Plain as it can be, it's just a busy, spotting old-time country place.

Nothing too high-toed, just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill.

Just lots of goodwill and maybe one small thrill. Just lots of goodwill and

maybe one small thrill. But there's nothing dirty going on.

Nothing dirty going on.

Everything was going along fine, just like always, until that famous college

football celebration.

Some folks think that that's when the trouble started.

You see, for years, the winning seniors of the Texas Aggie-Texas U football game

at Thanksgiving, they were treated to a night out at the chicken ranch by their

alumni association.

But actually, the real trouble started brewing about three days before.

I can't tell you how thrilled we are with your contribution.

Here's your receipt.

Thank you, Vita.

Those kids will be so excited, and the mayor, too. Why, the town council will

probably vote you another plaque.

Lord, I hope not. I've got a closet full of them now.

Hello, Dulcimer.

You know Miss Mona.

Oh, yes, of course. We've met.

Morning. Good morning.

Isn't this wonderful?

Miss Mona has just capped the goal for the Little League Fund campaign.

Oh, how nice.

Well, on behalf of my son and his teammates, I want to thank you. You tell

them I'll be well repaid when they take the championship next year.

Goodbye, Rita. I'm sorry the sheriff wasn't here to thank you. He drove over

to Merritsville. He'll be gone all afternoon.

Well, you tell him I said hi.

Bye. Bye.

Bye.

Hey, Miss Mona. How you doing, Deputy Fred?

It's nice to see you.

Well, it's good to see you. You keeping an eye on my place at night?

Sure are. The sheriff's real particular about security out there.

Well, one of these nights when you ain't on duty, you drop in out there. My girls

will love to show you a little appreciation.

Shoot, Miss Mona, you know I'm a married man.

Oh, Fred, you mean to tell me you don't think the cows don't appreciate the time

off when a bull goes over to another pasture?

Miss Mona.

See you later, Miss Mona.

Okay.

Goodbye.

So?

So I told you a hundred times, watching you get undressed is the best part.

The best part?

Well, maybe not the best part, but in the top two.

Now, would I want to disappoint my little honey?

I'm glad I was late.

You just hold your horses. I've got a surprise for you. I went by the post

office this morning. I picked up a package, the very latest thing, from

Fredericks of Hollywood.

Well, something sexy I thought you might like.

A little? What do you think?

You don't look too little to me. Well, it certainly ain't a training bra, but I

do believe I can fill it out. I don't think you got any problem with that.

I'll be back with more.

You know more?

I've known a lot of women in my life.

None of them have ever been exciting to me like you are.

Really? Even after all these years we've been meeting like this?

I'll tell you something.

A year with you is like a minute of sheer happiness.

Well, now, that is just about the sweetest thing anybody ever said to me.

I know.

You know, honey, you bring out the romantic in me.

Well, honey, I've had a lot of practice getting in and out of my clothes.

How do you like the outfit?

Hot damn.

Makes me feel real sexy.

Well,

you don't look real sexy.

What do you mean? I look like I always look.

Well, that's just it. It's them damn droopy boxer drawers. I just hate the

looks of them things. I've worn boxer shorts for years.

And they look like it.

These are a brand new pair.

I don't know what you're talking about. I don't look sexy. People tell me I have

a real sexy quality about me. Well, you do, but them boxer shorts don't. But you

know, when I was getting me some sexy things, well, I thought about you

because they have a his and hers sexy part in the Fredericks, and I thought

you might want to try that on for size.

What the hell is it, a Japanese slingshot?

No. It's jockey shorts with little silver snaps on the side. Little is a

key word here.

Very little.

In fact, the guy could hurt himself wearing those things. I don't think so,

thank you very much.

Ed Earl, I paid $20 for these, plus postage, and I want you to wear it.

Oh, you paid $20 for these? Yes.

Well, you got screwed.

Come on, Ed Earl.

half as good on you as I think they're going to. You ain't gonna have to wear

them but a second, maybe less.

They're ridiculous. They're impossible.

They're sexy.

No, no, no.

Well, fine. Then I'm getting dressed and going home. Well, fine. I'm going in the

bathroom and put these on.

Be like putting two bowling balls in a marble bag.

Bragging, bragging, bragging.

Dulce May in town today.

Oh, yeah?

I guess you'll be going over there for Thanksgiving dinner.

Well, don't I always?

You know, you better check that turkey of hers because there's a hook in there

that's going to drag your ass to the wedding chapel.

No way.

I don't believe in matrimony. It screws up a relationship.

Amen to that, Ed Earl.

Ready?

Oh, I'm always ready.

Well, hell for it. Is that it?

How'd you like it?

I didn't hardly get to even see them.

Well, that's all you're gonna see, because I ain't gonna parade around like

no model.

Oh, come on, Ed. No!

No!

Come on.

What are you doing?

Now, that's what the little silver snaps are for.

They work, don't they?

Just like a snap.

Come on over here and give me a little lip lock.

Oh, got a brush for teeth.

You know how I am about my breath.

Oh, Ed Earl, I like a lot of things, but these afternoons with you have got to

top the list.

Sing it to me, honey.

I like fancy, frilly things, high-heeled shoes and diamond rings, ragtime bands

and western swing and sneaking around with you.

Well, I like beer and rodeos, detective books and dominoes, football games and

Cheerios and sneaking around with you. Sneaking around with you, going around

the tube.

I like lots of cash on hand and dirty jokes about the fuller brush man.

I like stuff I understand like sneaking around with you.

You know, I like a thrill that has no strings.

Friendship that don't ever change.

And laughter from the joy of things and sneaking around with you. Sneaking

around with you. Going around the tube.

Oh, I like driving picture shows, kissing long and loving slow.

Secret places lovers go whenever they're sneaking around.

Oh, I like the crazy things we try. And the sexier things we fantasize. Just

making out.

And sneaking around with you. Sneaking around with you. Keeping it all brand

new. Getting the best of you.

Whenever we're sneaking around. Sneaking around.

That's all.

I'm gonna lay down my law. Watching the rise and fall.

Of my sneaking around.

We're just sneaking around.

Oh, we're just sneaking.

Sheriff! Sheriff!

It's Deputy Fred.

Hold that position.

Don't move.

I'll be right back.

This better be important.

Well, I think it is. I saw your car parked from the highway and I figured

your phone was out because what are you wearing it for?

Taking a shower.

Oh, really? I always take my shower in the morning. I read in the Reader's

Digest once if you take it in the morning... I don't care.

What do you want?

Oh, it's the mayor. He wants to speak to you. Rita's been calling all over the

county for you. He wants a meeting right away.

Can't it wait?

You mean till after you take your shower?

Mm-mm.

You go to your radio.

You tell him I'll be there when I get there.

Nothing can be that important. I can't wait till this afternoon.

Right, sir.

Nice man, but...

Ain't that funny? All this time, Miss Mona was at the back knocking on the

screen door. She says she's in a real big hurry, but just dropped by to give

you this.

This is a Japanese slingshot.

Oh, look at that.

At last.

Okay, Rufus, what's on your mind?

Something that could have serious implication to the health of this town.

Well, tell him, C.J., just like you told me. Well, Sheriff, I have this friend

that works in a TV station down in Houston, and he tipped me off that

Melvin P. Thorpe's planning an expose on the chicken ranch.

Who?

Melvin P. Thorpe. He's that crazy consumer advocate. He has a report on

the late-night news.

He's got a new show now, a half-hour once a week, the Watchdog Report. It's

on tonight.

The chicken ranch on TV.

Now, come on, fellas.

Television is a family medium. But he's a sensation, I said, Earl. He shows up

with his TV cameras every time a consumer has a complaint.

He's a menace to the business community.

He's that fella that put the peanuts back in the chocolate bar.

What? He made the makers of the Peanut Delight candy bar admit that they put

less peanuts in each bar than they advertised, and he made them change

their ways.

Sounds like a tough customer.

Well, he's got a lot of influence out there.

If he brings his cameras out to the chicken ranch, we can... Come on, Rufus.

I'll make some phone calls.

I got a little influence around this state myself.

It's no use talking to me about it, Sheriff.

Melvin P. Thorpe is now the biggest attraction at this station.

High ratings, lots of letters.

He doesn't listen to anybody.

Hell, he wants to go national.

Wants to be watchdog for the whole U.S. of A.

Love to help you, Ed Earl, but it's like you don't want to mess with the chicken

ranch. I don't want to ruffle this old bird's feathers.

Here in Houston, he's becoming a regular Texas attraction.

Now, now, wait a minute, Ed Earl. I'd tread easy on this one. Them TV boys

could be mighty powerful and mighty useful if you get my men.

Senator, roll call.

Excuse me, Ed Earl. I got to go. It's that damn bilingual bullshit again.

Let me give you a word of advice from one elected official to another.

Be careful of the box.

Son of a bitch. What the hell's going on? This goddamn Melvin P. Thorpe's got

the whole state bamboozled.

Now, this is serious, Ed Earl. You gotta do something.

I intend to.

Deputy Fred, I want you to hold down the fort for a while.

Me? Yeah, you.

Where are you going?

I'm going to Houston. I'm gonna take care of that little peckerwood myself.

This is it. Thank you.

Mr.

Thorpe? I know you.

You do?

Sheriff Ed Earl Dodd. They told me you were here. Come on in.

I hope I'm not interrupting anything.

Oh, please. It's my pleasure. My honor. What brings you here to Houston?

Sit down. Anyway, over here. I, uh...

I'm getting dressed.

Sit down. I've got my TV show to do, and I'm running a bit behind time.

It's the show I wanted to talk to you about, Mr. Thorpe. Oh, Melvin.

Melvin. Please, you watch the show, Ed? Well, I have. Last week was the best

rating we ever had.

The city planning commissioner was driving a city car while... Just hold

that for me, will you?

While he was on vacation, caught him dead to rights.

That pitiful putz, would you just pull that up? You what? Just pull that up.

And we broke a 30 share.

It's affecting my pieces on the late-night news.

Up, up, up.

They just love my little report.

I hear you're very popular.

The power of television, of public exposure, is so great, it scares me, I

swear. I could get the mayor's own children to throw rocks at him.

Which show did you like best, Ed?

I think the one about the nuts in the chocolate bar.

It's one of my favorites.

Three score means 60, like the Bible says. So if it says 60 nuts on the

wrapper, I want to see 60 nuts inside.

And I'm talking full nuts. I'm not talking a half nut or nut bits or nut

chips.

I'm talking a full nut.

I can see that.

Thank God we still live in a society where anything that's phony or dishonest

can't stand the light of day.

Suck. Big one.

Uh, suck.

Thank you. Yeah.

Most corporations involved in false advertising would just laugh at a $50

fine, but you show up with your TV camera and give them a little bad

publicity. and they shape up faster than goose shit slides through a tin horn.

Well, Melvin, it's that bad publicity I want to talk to you about. That could

hurt people.

You take that report you're doing on the chicken ranch.

That place is older than rocks and water.

I wouldn't be surprised if your granddaddy took your daddy out there to

learn about the birds and the bees.

I'm from New Jersey.

See, I moved to Houston six years ago.

Texas suits my style.

The point I'm trying to make is that every schoolboy in the state knows about

it.

Most of the politicians have slept there. And the mayor and the people in

my county that voted for me, they want to keep things just the way they are.

Hmm. You know something, Sheriff? It just struck me.

We are in the same profession.

What's that? Law enforcement.

I'm out there fighting for the rights of the public just like you.

Both of us are interested in protecting the public. You in the old way and me in

the new.

The new?

Television.

I'm the electronic bounty hunter.

I use a camera, you use a gun.

Yeah. Well, Melvin, everybody would be happy if you just dropped the whole

thing. I mean, those ladies out there, they...

They perform a necessary function. I mean, right or wrong... Right or wrong

don't interest me.

I'm no moralizer. I leave all that to the preacher.

Well, I'm glad.

Anyway, the mayor was thinking maybe you'd want a little unnecessary

publicity.

Unnecessary publicity?

Well, he's got me all wrong. I'm not one of those sensation mongers out to boost

his own ego.

Clear.

How do you like it?

It's different.

I designed this myself.

No, you tell your mayor. He's got nothing to fear from me and that score.

He'll be happy to hear that. I'm a lawman. That's my interest, the law,

right, partner?

Oh,

come on, friend Ed. I gotta go.

That's my cue.

Come on.

I'll free boo.

Come to think of it, I'd love to do an interview with you.

I don't think I'm as tight. Oh, nonsense. You're exactly what the public

would like to see. Really? Look, we'll discuss it after the show.

I want you to be my guest.

This is the sponsor's booth. Just go in there, make yourself comfortable,

bourbon beer, make yourself at home. See you later, partner. Thank you.

He's out on the prowl Guards and checks the best he can

Watchdog is a fighting man Watchdog will

throw his beam of light

And now, the watchdog man himself, the eyes and ears of Texas, Melvin P.

Thorpe.

Thank you, fellow Texans, and welcome to the Watchdog Report with yours truly,

Melvin P. Thorpe.

Keeping an eye on what's going on in this beautiful state of ours.

This week's spotlight will shine on a shameful situation that has been allowed

to exist for close to a hundred years.

I'm talking about the chicken ranch, my friends.

The proprietor of this innocent-looking ranch house is a woman known only as

Miss Mona.

And the man who turns his back on her illegal operation is Sheriff Ed

Earl Dart.

Did I say illegal?

Yes, I did.

Now, I know that this is TV, so I'm going to try to be as delicate as I can.

Here goes.

And may God forgive me.

Texas has a horror house in it. Lord have mercy on us all. Texas has a horror

house in it.

Lord, have mercy on our souls. I'll expose the facts, although it fills me

with disgust. Please excuse the filthy dark details.

And carnal lust.

Filthy dark tales and carnal lust.

Dancing, going on inside it. Don't you see they've gone club wild?

I inquired, no one denied it. Now I think I'm getting riled. Bodies close

together, arms and legs all rearranged. And the sheriff does not close it down.

That's very strange.

Just my clothes are down, that's very strange.

Me and I juiced up brilliant teen honky-tonk cowboys. Oh no!

Mixing with green-eyed, thin-lipped, hardest-nailed, prox-art lads. Oh no!

Not to mention some types that you'd never guess would venture near.

Acting all depraved and loose and wild.

Ninety miles from here.

And now, our own Melvin P. Thorpe Sanger.

Oh my goodness, he's talking about us.

It's me, Mom.

Dory! Go get my heart filled!

Good.

And it must stop!

Touch that dial. This is Melvin P. Thorpe saying I'll be back with new and

revealing information about this and other cases.

Watchdog never sleeps.

and a peach orchard sow.

Announcing it straight out on TV.

So you've been saying.

Everybody's talking about it. Not that it's big news to anybody over three

months of age, but they heard it in their living room.

Sung. Sung to music.

And he actually called my name on television.

Worse than that, the son of a bitch called mine.

You know, Ed Earl, seems like ever since I can remember, folks been jumping on me

for one reason or another.

But we're gonna beat this thing. I ain't worried about it. You know why?

Because I trust you.

Because you're my protector.

Do you know he wears a sock in his underwear?

A sock?

Yeah. All rolled up like a Jimmy Dean sausage.

Well,

I bet he's running for office. And that's typical of them crusading

fanatics. They flare up every few months, they're always confusing crime

with sin, and people just get sick of hearing it, and pretty soon, it just

clears out of the air.

You're probably right.

Well, ain't I always?

Mm-hmm.

You know what I was thinking, Adderall? What? Just how much I miss all the

little stuff me and you used to do, like going up the lake.

Wouldn't it be fun just to go up there, get a couple six-packs, and just get

drunker and cootie brown?

Well, girl, that's the best idea you had all year.

What are we going to do with this?

Well, I'd like to do it tonight.

So, uh... Well, I wonder who that is.

Hey, Deputy Fred. Morning, girls.

How's your tally-wacker hanging? Fine.

Well, uh... Hi, Sheriff.

Better be important. I think it is. That Melvin P. Thorpe is setting up his

television show right out in front of the courthouse. Right out in front of

the courthouse.

He's getting some pictures for a piece on the late news tonight. He's got a

whole posse of TV cameramen, reporters. I think you better come take a look.

Right out in front of my... Your office.

Son of a bitch.

I cannot believe this.

You know he even brought his own singers?

Wait till I get my hands on it.

Watch your temper.

Everything's gonna be fine, Mona.

Just leave that little shithead to me.

Howdy again, good neighbors.

Melvin P. Thorpe, the old watchdog himself.

Shining the spotlight on Gilbert, the little town with the big shame.

Who's that fella in them trig britches?

I don't know, but it's too late in the year for a carnival.

What do them TV folks look like to me?

We're here at the Landville County Courthouse to ask some of the local

citizens how they feel about the infamous bordello running wide open in

their American hometown.

Cut. All right, come on. Now, stay with me, boys. And when I start the music, I

want your guests to start with me.

Chris.

Good people.

Good people of Gilbert, may I have your attention, please?

I would like to speak to you about a matter of great importance and concern.

Let's hear it, Melvin. Lay it on us. I'm speaking to you about nothing less than

your community's moral health.

I'm talking to you about official blindness, official corruption,

official... malfeasance he sure is wound up yep i'm just waiting for ed earl to

get here he's gonna kick that boy's ass

it's no big secret

you know what's going on in this town and what's going on is evil immoral

brazen and against the law hit it Texas has a whorehouse in it.

Texas has a whorehouse in it.

City's running rapid like before the fall of Rome.

Someone is permitting you know what.

And it must stop. Stop this copulation.

Stop that copulation.

Stop whimpering, Rufus.

Well, if it isn't the man himself.

Would you care to give me an interview now, Sheriff?

I'm going to give you 30 seconds, you fancified fart, to get you and your

singing chorus the hell out of town. Now, wait a minute. And get those

cameras and the rest of that crap off the street. You're blocking traffic.

The only traffic we're blocking is that headed out for the chicken ranch.

Right, Sheriff?

Little fat buddy, up to now you got two tickets.

One for parading without a license and the other for insulting me.

You better get that traveling circus out of town or I'm going to lock you up so

fast your course is going to pop. Oh, yeah?

We're perfectly within the law.

As a newsman, I have First Amendment protection.

Get this.

The public has a right to know what is going on out there and what kind of

payoff you're accepting to protect that notorious house of ill repute.

First thing, first thing is you're standing in Landville County, which by

my figuring is about 100 miles west of that stinkhole you call Houston.

So I can't see it's any of your business what goes on out here.

Oh, yeah?

First.

Number two, you ain't the law around here, and I am.

So don't be telling me what my goddamn job is, or I'll whip your butt so bad

it'll look like the stripes on a barber pole.

Get him, Sheriff.

He may be mean, but he's ours.

Number three.

No sawed-off little pecker is going to accuse me of taking a bribe and live to

tell about it. Because I wear the badge in this goddamn county. So you listen

and listen good, you over-padded televising turd. If I ever see you or

any of those little bastards that work for you in my town again, I'm going to

knock you so flat you're going to have to roll down your socks to shit.

That's still a new show.

Oh my goodness.

So get out of here, you goddamn wig-wearing, citified son of a bitch.

Move, you schmuck! Move it, mother! Come on!

Good morning partner

I was so proud of you. Didn't I? Yeah.

Look at them stars.

Well,

ain't nothing prettier than a Texas sky.

Ain't that the truth.

Hey, look, did you see that shooting star?

Mm-hmm.

That could have been a spaceship, you know. Yeah. You believe in spaceships?

Sure.

I saw a picture once.

Them fellers from, you know, that's supposed to be from up there, fly

around.

Tiny little fellers.

Ball-headed, little feet, little hands.

Got no peckers.

Got no peckers?

Well, I ain't interested.

I don't think my girls would be either.

When I was a little kid, I used to imagine a flying saucer swooping down

and picking me up and taking me off to heaven like the angels.

Mm-hmm.

I looked, and behold, whirlwind coming out of the north, and out of the midst

of the fire came the likeness of four living creatures.

What the hell are you talking about?

Well, that's from the Bible. That's what the Bible says about spaceships in

Ezekiel. Don't you know nothing about the Bible? Yeah, I know about the Bible.

I just don't know nothing about no Ezekiel in the Bible.

I knew Ezekiel Peebles once in the eighth grade.

I think I busted his jaw.

Hmm. Well, that's... That was very Christian of you.

Well, most of my family was Baptist.

Well, I never stayed with one family long enough to become anything in

particular. But I read the Bible. I believe in Jesus.

I think Jesus was a real good man.

And he was a heck of a speaker.

Yeah. I knew a woman once that had a vision of Jesus.

He came right into her house, sat right down at the foot of her bed. Hmm?

I don't know what I'd do if it happened to me.

I'll tell you something, honey.

If Jesus comes to your house, all hell's gonna break loose.

You got a point there, Edward.

But you know, Jesus was really good to Mary Magdalene, the fallen woman.

He was always being very sociable.

He went to this big wedding once, and they ran out of wine.

You know what he did? He turned the water into wine.

Well, that's a man that knows how to throw a party.

Now, don't be sacrilegious.

I'm not.

I'm not.

He forgives me.

He knows I was kidding.

Yeah, I know he forgives you. That's funny now, how God can forgive you and

people can't. Now, why is that?

Well, because people are not very godlike.

I know.

I know.

Melvin P. Thorpe is a sorry son of a bitch.

Do you reckon he's gonna run for the legislature?

Why?

I never told anybody at this moment, but... I was thinking of running for the

legislature someday.

Are you serious at all?

Yeah.

They say an honest man can't be elected in this country anymore.

But I don't believe that.

This is a good country.

I believe I could win.

Well, you got my vote.

I might even go register.

Boy, I sure didn't know you had dreams that big.

People really do like you, though.

They like you, too.

Really? Sure.

You ask anybody in town about you. Say, how do you like Miss Bowman? They say,

shoot, she's a fine woman.

Fine. Friendly and nice.

Well,

I always just thought if you see somebody without a smile, give them

yours. I like that.

I like that.

I think I'll use that as my campaign slogan.

See somebody without a smile, give them yours.

Wouldn't have that printed up on a little card.

Oh, you're kidding me, you smartass.

I had a dream once.

Yeah?

I'll tell you if you won't laugh.

Oh, I won't laugh.

Well, I used to dream of being a ballerina.

Now, Ed Earl, I ain't telling you nothing.

A ballerina?

Yes, a ballerina.

Well,

I think that's wonderful.

And I think you still could be a ballerina if you wanted to be. Oh, don't

be ridiculous. No, you could. You could just go into training right now and

start jumping up and down.

Me jumping up and down? I'd black both my eyes.

I couldn't be a ballerina now. I'm too top-heavy.

I have a hard enough time balancing these things now without getting on my

toes.

You know something?

What? You know that I don't see anybody but you anymore.

Of course, now, you can't say the same, can you?

I haven't been to bed with another woman besides you in three years.

You didn't know that, did you?

No, I didn't know that.

Nothing better once you've had the best.

Hey, I like it.

Yeah, I thought you would.

Reckon if I was to run for the legislature, I could put that on my

card.

Up next, Melvin P. Thorpe continues his expose of the chicken ranch with a

violent demonstration in the Gilbert Town Square.

Great. God, from Goldsboro.

Yeah.

Ed Earl, you better turn on Channel 4.

That Melvin V. Thorpe idiot's got you on TV again.

Well, I don't give a shit, Rufus. Well, it's all very well for you to take that

attitude, Ed Earl, but this is serious.

Honey, honey, put on a television air channel.

And Melvin Peethorpe is shitting up in his mouth again.

What the hell could he be saying? It's so goddamn important.

Calm down, Rufus.

It can't be as bad as all that.

What happened to me as an individual is not important.

But is this the kind of man we want running our law enforcement?

Is this the kind of foul-mouthed example we want to set for our young, innocent

children?

Run the film.

Number three.

No sawed-off little...

gonna accuse me of taking a bribe and live to tell about it because i wear the

badge in this county so you listen and you listen good you tell them if i ever

see you or any of those little to work for you in my town again i'm gonna knock

you so flat ed

earl that man has made a

fool out of you

I've had calls from four preachers, six deacons, and the presidents of two

garden clubs. Thank you for calling. The phones have been ringing like that all

morning long.

Sheriff's office.

I don't know why I let people talk me into serving as mayor of this

incorporated sand trap anyway.

What the heck is keeping him? He'll be along.

Well, he'd better.

My wife couldn't believe what she saw last night. They bleeped him out, but

she read his lips on every hell, goddamn, and shit.

You know, there's some folks getting up a petition to close the chicken ranch.

All we wanted to do was keep it quiet.

Now, thanks to Ed Earle, it's the hottest thing on the air since the gong

show. I'll tell him you called. Bye.

Morning, Sheriff.

Maria. Here's your calls.

Reckon you fellows are waiting to talk to me? We sure are. You don't know the

trouble you cause on this chicken ranch business. Don't gum it, Ed Earle, if you

ain't a blue perfect fool.

You may be right.

I got over a dozen messages here from outraged citizens telling me that we got

a whorehouse in Landville County.

Only been one here for about 150 years.

Ed Earl, now you can set up speed tracks to catch the tourists.

You can look the other way when the wrong kid swipes a car to go joyriding.

And you can even let Miss Motor on her place out there. But there's one thing

you can't do, and that's broadcast gutter talk on TV. I didn't know there

was taking pictures.

What did you figure the cameras were for?

Damn it, C.J., you pious pisshamp.

I don't have one tenth the trouble for Miss Mona's that I have from you for one

of your all-night stag parties over at the Legionnaire Hall.

That ain't fair, dang it. It's just one thing to do, and that's close the place

down before we all go to hell in a handbasket. Close it down.

She was just fine as long as she was bringing in the money and making civic

contributions, but the moment her luck ran sour, you wanted to run out on her.

Run out on her like rats from a burning barn.

That's just it, Ed Earl.

Who's gonna put out that fire?

Look, if you won't close her down, at least tell her to lay low for a couple

of months. Yeah, just until the heat wears off a little bit.

Give it two months. What's two months?

Nobody tells me how to run my goddamn job.

And nobody gives me advice.

I'll do things my own way. I'm gonna make up my own damn mind.

Two months.

What's two months?

Shut down for two months.

That is a hell of a lot to ask somebody, Ed Earl.

And that's a hell of a lot of overhead to pay out when a company's cash ain't

coming in.

What do you think I ought to tell my girls?

Well, maybe it won't be two months.

The holidays are coming up. Maybe in a couple of weeks the whole thing will

blow over and then you can let your regular customers... I warned you

yesterday about losing your temper and carrying on.

Last night you said you was proud of me. Last night I wasn't on the 11 o'clock

news. Well, I didn't know that son of a bitch was going to make an idiot out of

me. I don't know anything about that electronic bullshit. How was I supposed

to handle that situation?

That's your job, Ed Earl. Ain't that what they pay you for?

I know what my job is. Don't be telling me what my goddamn job is. I could close

this place down in a New York minute.

All I'm asking for is for you to give me a little cooperation so I can get

through a difficult situation with as little trouble as possible.

Okay, okay, okay.

I'll shut it down.

You will?

What do you want, a written contract?

You promise?

Ed Earl, I am giving you my word.

I'm sorry, Mona, about the whole situation.

Don't feel sorry for me.

I started out poor and I worked my way up to outcast.

I know what I'm asking you to do is going to turn out to be the best thing

for both of us.

Just trust me.

You know what burns my ass?

What? A flame about three feet high.

Of course, I trust you, you big cowboy.

Ain't I always?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, stop now.

Now get out of here.

Everything's gonna turn out just fine.

Don't you worry about a thing, honey.

Everything's gonna turn out slicker than cat shit on a linoleum floor.

Well, if it ain't the celebrated Cousin Sheriff of Landville County.

How are you, Sheriff? I'm fine.

How are you, Porky? Oh, Sheriff, I've been real good all week. I've lost six

pounds. Oh, yeah?

Well, don't take nothing off them cheeks.

Oh, go on.

Whoa!

Well,

Jewel, I just promised the Sheriff that we're gonna shut the place down for two

months.

What? How can you promise that?

What about the football game celebration tomorrow night?

I forgot all about that.

It's the Thanksgiving game, Miss Mona, and that's real special.

Well, I know it's special, Jewel, but I don't know what to do now. I did

promise.

You think if we just closed the doors to the regular customers, just went on with

the party as planned, that'd be all right?

I'm sure it will, honey. That party is a bigger tradition than the game.

65,000 plus on hand here at Kyle Field, and we have seen an amazing ball game.

Texas A&M, heavily favored. But we're tied 12-12.

Aggies have the ball second down and eight. Time is winding down.

They try the middle of the Texas defense, and again, the Longhorns make

the stop. This University of Texas defense... Woo! Woo!

Woo!

We'll string up the white first, and after we see who wins, we'll put up the

orange or the maroon. Yes, ma'am.

I can't stand it if the Maggie's win.

What do you mean?

They're such animals.

You know, always yelling and jumping about and saying, yee-haw.

They have to go for all the marbles. They will have to throw to the end zone

right now.

Time running out. Miller rolls to the right. Pass.

Caught. Touchdown. It's a goal sign.

Wow!

That's all for today.

Well, who won? Daggy. Aw, shit.

who's going to take us to the chicken ranch, did you? Yeah!

I always keep my campaign promises, right?

Yes, sir.

The chicken ranch is a fine institution, and I'm proud to have it in my district.

And to hell with what Melvin P. Thorpe said.

I'll see all you seniors out at Miss Mona's.

It's even

better

than a Aggie football game.

Better? A football game?

get to the check.

22 miles until we get to heaven.

22 miles until our plans are laid.

22 miles until we get to the chicken land where history...

these ball gowns again?

Yes, you do, and I don't want to hear any more bitching about it.

Miss Mona likes to create something special for the boys.

It's like a graduation dance.

one more mile until we get to heaven one more mile until our plans are laid

one more mile until we get to the chicken ranch where history

and back

district in the Aggie class of 49.

Mighty proud to meet you. To meet me?

Charlie, who you think you're talking to?

How's Mary Margaret and the kids?

Hell, Mrs. Mona, I didn't think you'd remember.

Remember? Did you remember to bring my check?

I got it right here.

Good. You know, it's always a business doing pleasure with you, Charlie.

um

Texas has a war house.

Happy Thanksgiving.

You want a drink?

Oh, no, thank you. That stuff always tears up my stomach. I was reading in

the Reader's Digest one time, if you wouldn't drink... What do you want,

Fred? Oh, I was making my rounds around town, you know, and I saw that Melvin P.

Thornton and a bunch of other fellas, and they was all headed out towards the

chicken ranch.

Melvin P. Thornton? Uh-huh.

Going out to the chicken ranch with him?

Yeah? Yeah.

It's gonna be real disappointing.

See, there ain't nothing going on out there.

Miss Mona promised me to close the place down for two months. Well, she didn't. I

was out there earlier this evening. Those Aggies was just celebrating to

beat the band.

Oh, no.

Uh-huh.

Oh, shit!

Uh-huh.

This may be the most important scoop of my television career.

Run now!

Idiot boy.

Good neighbors, we're about to enter the whorehouse itself.

Cut. Come on.

Stay with me. Come on.

Come on, boys.

No.

There's been a party here. Watch your step.

Thank you.

Oh, sucker!

upon you!

And do you want to know what the law is going to do about that? I can tell you

nothing. They had no reason to do nothing if you had done what you said

you were going to do. I trusted you. That's what hurt. I trusted you. Don't

you talk to me about trust.

I trusted you to protect me. I made a mistake tonight, okay?

If that's your idea of an apology, it ain't worth armadillo crap.

Well, I ain't apologizing. I'm a businesswoman paying out double taxes. I

expect a little protection for my money.

because you gave me your word you were closing down.

Don't you threaten me. I'm telling the truth and you know it.

And all of your big dreams are going to the legislature.

That's all they are. They're just dreams.

Because you ain't never going to be no more than you are right now.

A chicken shit sh...

Legalized prostitution pro or con is in the news today for a report here is Jeff

Gerald in Gilbert, Texas.

The chicken ranch, the legendary long-running body house, is showing

little activity after the disclosure yesterday of the Thanksgiving night

raid. A deputy at the front gate keeps away onlookers and potential customers.

While up at the house, the doors are closed and the principals are not

talking.

The sheriff of Gilbert, Ed Earl Dodd, refused interviews while in Houston, the

man who launched the campaign, consumer advocate Melvin P. Thorpe, held a press

conference this afternoon.

I have a report here that says that the chicken ranch is involved with and under

the influence of organized crime.

I myself am going to take this report to Austin in the hopes that the governor

himself will come out of his long silence on this issue and uphold the

law. And I say, thank you. Thank you, sir. Thank you very much.

At the Capitol today, the governor made no statement, but Senator Charles

Wingwood, who was a principal figure in the watchdog news raid, also held a

press conference explaining his involvement.

I have no independent recollection of going to the chicken ranch, and I can

only say as the most dedicated anti-communist in the state legislature

that I must have been drugged by communists or communist sympathizers

and... place there to harm my reputation and good name reaction across the state

is split 50 50 but here in the town of gilbert the chicken ranch has many

supporters i ain't never seen anything bad come out of there yet and i've lived

here all my life why they attract a lot of business to the community they pay

their taxes just like you and me and no one no one was ever forced to go up

there my frank when he was alive used to go up there every saturday i took it as

a blessing

Of course things were different then.

Nowadays, women enjoy doing that sort of thing themselves.

At least so I've been told.

The chicken ranch?

I think it's a good idea.

See, you take a lot of young boys and they're going to be out there looking

for women. If they can't find them, they'll rape them. And if they don't do

that, they'll run to other women and get diseases.

Those girls went to doctors.

Although petitions are being circulated to save the chicken ranch, already this

bumper sticker is beginning to appear around the state.

And so as feminists line up behind the bill for the decriminalization of

prostitution already in the legislature, while traditionalists and

fundamentalists lobby for its defeat, the fate of the chicken ranch rests with

the governor, who today again was unavailable for comment.

Jeff Gerald, ABC News, Gilbert, Texas.

Thank you, Jeff. If there are further developments... Well, I hate admitting I

was wrong, Miss Mona, but with television broadcasting this from hell

to breakfast, we should have done what the sheriff said and kept this place

closed.

It was my fault, Jewel. It was my decision.

He ain't gonna be able to stop it this time, is he?

No. He'd like to.

But he's out of his league.

He don't know how to fight him.

He's just a good old boy that ain't never gonna grow up.

Honey, we see everything in this profession.

But one thing I ain't ever seen, man or woman, is a grown-up.

Don't be too hard on him.

He loves you.

They never said it.

Some men can't say the words, honey.

But that don't mean they don't feel it in their heart.

Well, it's just as well anyhow, Jewel.

I set my course a long time ago.

And I can't go changing now.

Well, I don't know what to do. Seems like folks got nothing else to talk

about but this chicken ranch mess.

Like a broken record. Chicken ranch, chicken ranch, chicken ranch, chicken

ranch. Man, all of this bad publicity's flat-running business. I haven't sold a

car in a week. It's ruining the town.

No one's blaming you, Ed Earl. It ain't your fault.

But we can't just sit around here waiting to grow tits. Now, the way I see

it, the chicken ranch served a purpose once.

But now, everything's opening up. Do you know we are in the middle of a worldwide

sexual revolution?

Why, Miss Mona's ain't... Ain't obscene. It's just obsolete.

She ain't got a handful of supporters left, Ed Earl.

All this publicity's making folks think twice about signing that petition to

keep her open.

Why the hell can't that station in Houston turn its cameras to the cesspool

in their own backyard?

And how about Austin?

Why, two blocks of the state capital, you can have anything done to you for

money that you can get in Tangiers.

Whether it's naked massages, there's tongue baths, there's somebody tickling

your ass with a feather. If you know that for a fact, Mr.

Newspaper Editor, it's your duty to expose it. But now you see here, C.J., I

don't give a damn if folks want their ass tickled with a feather. I'd kind of

like to think that that's what heaven is all about.

Boys, I got myself a pretty good bullshit detector.

And I can tell when somebody's peeing on my boots and telling me it's a

rainstorm.

Now, this thing's gotten way out of hand.

I don't know how, but I figure there's only one thing left to do.

Close it down.

No.

I'm going to Austin.

See the governor.

Tell him Miss Mona's side of the situation.

He sure as hell ain't gonna hear about it from anybody in this room. Well, you

can't go up and see the governor. He don't see anybody.

You'll see me.

You're like the country dog in the city.

I stand still, they screw me. If I run, they bite me in the ass.

I wish there was something I could do.

Thank you.

They want me to close her down.

Run her out of town.

What can I ask her to leave when all I want her to do is stay?

Ladies and gentlemen, his excellency, the governor of Texas.

My friends, I want to thank you for that sincere and heartwarming ovation. No

questions, please.

Governor,

what do you think of the crisis in the Middle East?

I was saying just this morning at the weekly prayer breakfast in the Sistah

capital that it behooves both the Jews and the Arabs to settle their

differences in a Christian manner.

Governor, have you seen the evidence of the disgraceful situation at the chicken

ranch?

Fellow Texans, I am proudly standing here to

humbly say I assure you, and I mean it,

Now who says I don't speak out as plain as day and fellow Texans

I'm for progress and the flag long may it fly

I'm a poor boy come to greatness

So it follows that I cannot tell a lie

What the hell did he say? Same as usual, not a damn thing.

Ooh, I love to dance a little sidestep. Now they see me, now they don't, I've

come and gone. And ooh, I love to sweep around the white step.

Cut a little swath, then leave the beef alone.

Governor, Jerry Robert for the Houston Post. How are you doing today?

Governor? Governor, do you plan to take action against the chicken ranch?

Now, my good friends, it behooves me to be solemn and declare

I'm for goodness and for profit and for living clean

and saying daily prayer. And now, my good friends, you can sleep nights.

I'll continue.

to stand tall.

You can trust me, for I promise I shall keep a watchful eye

upon y'all.

Did you get any of that?

I hear him talking, but he don't come in.

Ooh, I love to dance a little sidestep. Now they see me, now they don't have

come and gone.

And ooh, I love to sweep around the white step.

Start a little swap, then leave the people alone.

There he is. Come on, boys.

Governor, Governor, Melvin P. Thorpe, Watchdog News.

Why has the Chicken Ranch operation been so long ignored?

We seem to be having some acoustic problems in here. Aren't you afraid of

possible payoffs and bribes? Melvin, I'm sorry. Enough of this pussyfooting,

Governor. What do you intend to do about Miss Mona and the Chicken Ranch?

now miss moona i don't know her though i've heard the name

oh yes but of course i have no close contact

so what she is doing i can only guess and now miss

moona she's a blemish on the face of that good

town

I am taking certain steps here.

Someone somewhere's gone. I have to close her down.

Do you believe that, ma'am? Is that a yes or a no?

It's a possible maybe.

Ooh, I love to dance a little sidestep. Now they see me, now they don't. A man

gone and ooh, I love to sweep around the wide step.

Cut a little swath and lead the people on.

Ooh, I love to catch a little sidestep.

Ooh, I love to sweep around the white step.

Cut a little swath and lead the people on.

Sheriff Dodd from Gilbert waiting outside to see you. He's been here since

early this morning and is very insistent.

Swearing, Sheriff Dodd? The one on TV?

No, no, no, no, no. Hi, Sheriff.

Just talking about you.

How are you?

Governor, I know I'm way out of line coming up here like this, but before you

close down the chicken ranch, I want you to know all the facts.

Well, I haven't made that decision yet. My age is still working on that. Well,

chicken...

Chicken Ranch has been in my county since before I was born.

Its doors have been opened to soldiers and presidents and farmers.

Even governors who can remember what a great institution it is.

You don't need to bring that up, Sheriff.

I ain't threatening you, Governor. Whatever you say, I'm gonna do. But

think of the people out there.

I've known Miss Mona for 12 years. You're never gonna meet a finer woman.

She never refuses a charity. The whole town likes her.

The hospital fund.

A new swimming pool.

Even the little leaguers, she bought them uniforms so they wouldn't have to

play in their overalls.

Well, I wasn't aware of her civic generosity.

But the law is the law. Sometimes it's got to be changed.

I've been fighting crime all my life, but let's not confuse crime with

committing a sin. You can't legislate morality.

Those girls out there have never caused any trouble to anybody.

They're healthy, tax-paying, law-abiding citizens.

who supply a demand and provide an economic asset to the community.

Whew.

Yeah, there we are.

You ever think about running for office, huh?

Why, I swear, you make that whorehouse sound like a damn non-profit

recreational facility.

Governor, if the citizens who elected me found it necessary for me to close it

down, I would close it down.

If Miss Mona... and the girls that work for her were jeopardizing the health,

wealth, or moral scruples of the community, I would close it down.

If the place was just a piddling nuisance, an eyesore, a fire hazard, I

would close it down. But there's nothing, no reason, except the goddamn

cries of a muck-raking sensationalist on television.

Here they are, Governor, what you've been waiting for.

Oh, I'm sorry, Ed Earl, but the chicken ranch loses 42 to 37 with 21% on the

side. What is it? The Poles. You can't expect me to go against the Poles. This

is what the people want.

Melvin's still outside.

They've been catching television cameras before they leave. Good seeing you.

But it's not what my people want.

Show's over, Sheriff.

Close it down.

Oh, I love to dance a little sidestep. Now they see me, now they don't. Oh, I

love to sweep around the wide step. A little swat and a little bee.

I'd love to see that Sharon's face right now.

That chicken ranch is gonna get it in the neck.

And Miss Mona, she's gonna get hugged too.

Hello? Mona, this is an official call.

As a sheriff of Landville County, it's my duty to tell you that... Why don't

you just get to the point, Sheriff?

I gotta close you down.

I see.

Well, how long do we have?

It'd be better to do it as soon as possible.

I understand.

Mona.

About the other night, I lost my temper.

I said some things I shouldn't have said.

I want to apologize.

Oh, it's all right, Ed Earl.

I think we both said a whole lot of things we regret.

If there's ever anything I can do.

No, thank you. I think you've done all you could.

I have to tell my girls.

Well, the news has come.

Just got a call from the sheriff.

And we are closed down.

Immediately and permanently.

What are you doing?

Well, Las Vegas, here I come.

Damn. I thought when the sheriff went up to Austin to speak to the governor, we'd

get a reprieve.

What did you say?

Didn't you know about that, Miss Mona?

He drove up last night.

Well, the whole town's talking about the way he fought for you.

Didn't he tell you that?

No.

No, he didn't.

Hey, maybe I'll dye my hair Maybe I'll

move somewhere Maybe I'll get a car Maybe I'll drive so far they'll

all lose track Me, I'll bounce right back

Maybe I'll sleep real late Maybe

I'll lose some weight Maybe I'll clear my junk Maybe I'll just get drunk

on apple wine Me, I'll be just fine

and dandy Lord, it's like a hard candy

Christmas

Maybe I'll just lie low Maybe I'll hit the bars Maybe I'll count the stars

until the dawn Me, I will go on

Maybe I'll settle down Maybe I'll

just

Just by-

So the girls left, and it was a sorry day for Landville County.

It's kind of like the end of an era.

You know, like when you graduate from high school?

Things are just never the same again.

Ed Earle's up in the state legislature now, and I became the sheriff.

I suppose you're wondering what happened to Miss Mona.

Well, Ed Earl drove up there on her last day.

Hey, sir.

Morning, Jewel.

I'm so pleased to see you.

I knew you couldn't let me leave without a sweet goodbye for your old porky.

Goodbye, Jo.

Goodbye, Sheriff.

I sure hope you come up north to visit Miss Mole and me.

Where is she?

Inside.

So you're taking the old juke with you?

Now, you know I couldn't leave without my bell in my box.

Ed Earl?

This whole place looks kind of funny, don't it?

Ben Sawtuk bought all my furniture and fixtures in Langston downtown.

He's going to sell rest.

There's something I want to tell you.

I want you to thank your boys for me. Those sightseers and reporters would

have got it all out of hand if it hadn't been for your devotees down at the gate.

Mona, you know me better than I do. I believe the thing for you to do is just

to put this whole thing behind you just as quick as you can.

I've made a little money. I've laughed some. I've danced to the music. It's

just time to pay the fiddler. That's all.

Mona, we've been together a long time.

Sometimes I think you know me better than I know myself.

So you know how hard this is for me to say.

Meryl, I've loved you since I was 16 years old.

But I've thought about this for a long time.

And as much as I'd love for it to work, I know deep down in my heart it ain't

never gonna be.

Didn't you hear what I said?

I did, darling.

But it's gonna always be just like it is.

There just ain't no way in this world it can work.

You can make it work.

You just have to give it a chance.

stay well I would only be in your way

and so I'll go and yet

I know that I'll think of you each step of

I guess that's all I'll be taking with me.

Goodbye.

Oh, please don't cry.

Cause we both know that I'm not what you need.

You're gonna get your dream.

And I know you're gonna do a real good job in the legislature.

But if you was to marry me... Wait a second.

I love you.

I don't give a damn what people say.

Oh sure.

Well, that's pretty darn close to the way it happened.

The old watchdog, Melvin P. Thorpe, got what he wanted.

Miss Mona married Ed Earl, and they got what they wanted.

And the people of Texas, well, they got what they wanted.

Another legend.

The legend of the chicken ranch.

It's just a little bitty busy country place.

Nothing much to see.

No drinking allowed, we're getting nice, quiet, proud, plain as it can be. It's

just a bitterswap, no time comes to blaze. Nothing too high tone, just lots

of good wheel and maybe one small thrill. But there's nothing dirty going

on. It's just a bitterswap, no time comes to blaze. Nothing much to see, no

drinking allowed, we're getting nice, quiet, proud, plain as it can be.

It's just a bitterswap, no time comes to blaze.

Y'all come back now, you hear?

Thank you.

Thank you.