Original subtitles

Wanna go soft on the python, mate.

Well, I wouldn't go making too many jokes

about snakes around here, mate.

Tommy!

You alright?

What the fuck?

Fuck. No.

Fuck, no.

No.

No, no.

No, don't.

No, no, no!

-Hey. -Hey!

Oh, you could have made an effort, Jazz.

Is that the only menu they gave you?

Sorry, we have three more menus, please?

So, apparently, right, they do this kayak tour down the river,

it's meant to be amazing.

You get to see the real jungle. So, I don't know.

Maybe we can do that tomorrow while the girls go shopping.

Yeah, sure.

What makes you think we'd rather go shopping than kayaking?

Because you insisted that there be a walk-in wardrobe

in every single room in the new house,

not just the bedrooms either, I mean the kitchen has one.

I'm serious.

Are you listening to these two?

They're saying a couple of girls can't go on this boat trip

with them.

Well, I mean there's gonna be snakes.

Probably crocodiles

You jump on the sofa when you see a spider.

Maya, are we just gonna sit and take this?

-I'll go. -That's settles that then.

That settles that then.

Brilliant, thank you very much.

Right, so, actually I wanted to say a little something.

So, there we go.

Alright, I don't wanna make a big thing about it.

But um, first of all, thank you both so much for coming.

Um, we're both so glad that you're here with us

on this trip.

You're our best friends in the whole world

and there's no one that we'd rather spend this time with

than you guys.

Second thing is we're actually having a bit of a celebration,

because today finally...

Finally, I've sold the company.

-The money's in the bank. -Oh, wow.

No way.

So, to celebrate,

got a little bit of a gift for you guys.

This trip, everything, we're picking up the tab.

Okay, it's all covered.

Wow, Ritchie.

That's so generous of you.

Thank you.

Isn't it, AJ?

AJ?

Say, uh, a toast then to best friends.

-Cheers. -Best bros.

He's paying for our vacation.

Does he think we can't afford it?

He's been your best friend since school

and he's just sold his company for a lot of money.

He just wants to share it with you.

Share it?

He started that company in our dorm room.

Maybe he should have asked me to be a part of it then,

instead of keeping it to himself.

That way I wouldn't have to rely on your dad for a job,

would I?

-Babe. -No, come on.

Everybody at the office knows I got the job just

because I married the boss' daughter.

I bet these walls are paper thin.

Should we try and make more noise then?

Ah, signal.

Oh, it's work.

Hey Felix, how you doing?

Yeah, we're like in the middle of nowhere.

Say hi to daddy for me.

Really?

Yeah, sorry, um, yeah madness.

There's just no coverage anywhere.

Morning, morning.

I'm Nick.

I'm gonna be your river guide for this trip.

Any of you been on a kayak before?

Nope.

-No. -No.

Not a problem.

You are all gonna need life jackets.

There you go.

Thank you.

-There we go. -Thank you.

That's for you, and yeah, that's for you.

There you go.

-Pink? -Yeah, it's your size.

-I think I'll give it a miss. -Well, no jacket, no kayak.

Right, you're all gonna need wet shoes.

I should have your sizes.

Don't worry, it goes with your eyes.

Hey, by the way, um, this trip cost a little bit extra,

but uh, got you, okay.

Oh.

Alright.

Yeah, that's it.

Alright, and your partner?

Oh, right.

Beg your pardon.

-Thanks. -Right, okay.

So, you two free.

Are there crocodiles in here?

The idea is to stay in the kayak.

That wasn't really a yes or a no, was it?

Maybe this isn't such a good idea.

Don't worry, you'll be fine.

-Wooh. -Oh.

Oh my God.

Ritchie!

Get off, get off!

Stop it!

Okay, just stay nearby.

Hey, he gets his own boat?

It's called a "kayak".

Nice and slowly.

You've gotta stay in perfect rhythm, okay?

-Wow. -Perfect rhythm, Okay.

Try to make a right angle with your elbows.

That is roughly where your hands should be.

A right angle there.

That's it.

You're a natural, that's fantastic.

Quit showing off.

Okay, good. Good, good.

Sit down!

That's it, you're a natural.

Whoa.

You gotta stay in rhythm.

Okay.

That's it, opposite side.

Ding-a-ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Whee!

Who's feeling adventurous?

We could stay out overnight, make this a two-day trip.

-In the jungle? -Yeah.

We'd need some more equipment, they'd need to meet us further

downriver with the jeep, but...

Uh, yeah, sure, Let's do it.

At least, we know who's in charge here.

Yep.

Right.

There's a bit of white water where we're going.

It can get a bit bumpy, so you might want to put

your phones and valuables in here.

Yeah, sure.

It's waterproof, floats if it falls out of the kayak.

We like to think it's part of the experience, you know,

letting go of technology for a couple of days.

I'm good.

Come on, mate. Wall Street's not gonna fall over just

'cause you're off your phone for two days.

Who's gonna miss you?

There's no signal where we're going anyway.

Okay, thanks.

AJ, it's two days.

Okay. Alright.

Must be some pretty incriminating stuff

on that phone, mate.

Oh, I'm excited.

Look through there.

Well, the legend is that this river was created

from the tears of a goddess who wept

when she saw the unspoilt beauty.

You're so lucky to be out here every day.

It's so peaceful.

Oh, well, it's peaceful now,

but wait till we camp out tonight.

Jungle's a different place at night.

How long have you been out here for?

I've been coming here all my life.

My dad was a tour guide for 40 years,

and his granddad, my great-granddad,

was one of the first outsiders to come here.

But unfortunately, he, um...

He what?

Well, he, um...

He disappeared.

-Disappeared? -Yeah.

He discovered a tribe out here, and one day he just...

He didn't come back.

No one did.

If he didn't come back, how do they know

there's a tribe out there?

Well, eventually they found some of his belongings,

and they also found human feces

with traces of human bone inside it.

Bullshit!

No, come on, be fair.

Human shit.

So, you're saying this tribe are cannibals?

Yeah, but it's fine we're not going near where they live.

Oh, what a relief.

Wait, you're saying they're still here?

Yeah, well, they were here first.

This is their home.

Look, left alone, they're no danger to anyone.

For the past hundred years or so,

the outsiders have been trying to take their land,

steal their precious minerals, and log their trees.

Deforestation has pushed them further and further

into the jungle.

They've got less and less animals to feed on,

so, yeah, you know, they're getting desperate.

Hungry.

But their area is protected now.

It's off limit.

That's it.

You'll be fine.

That's it.

Good stuff, good stuff.

I really, really need to pee.

Alright, okay.

You guys good?

Seriously, AJ?

Told you to go easy on that water.

Apparently, you can be seasick on a river.

You alright?

You ready to go back?

Hm.

Woo!

Let's do this.

Yeah, baby, coming at you live from the jungle.

Hi, mom!

Hey, this is the channel that takes you places.

Ooh.

Others don't dare.

You see that crap?

Maybe they got some protected flowers.

Boo-hoo, poor little flowers.

Screw that.

We're going in.

Stay tuned, folks.

How many views have we got?

Oh.

30,000 viewers.

Cool.

Should we tear it up?

Yeah.

You're right.

Danny?

Danny?

Danny, what are you doing?

Danny?

Hey, Jasmine.

I reckon after this trip, next holiday,

we charter a yacht, go to the Caribbean.

I think it's gonna be a bit more clear there, right?

-Oi! -Oh, I'm sorry, bro.

-My bad. -AJ, please.

I know you brought your mom with you.

It's just...

a baby python couldn't hurt you, okay?

Couldn't hurt you, alright.

Could have told us that bit sooner.

You were too busy screaming like a little girl.

You're an idiot!

Yeah, but I'm a dry idiot.

Oh, yeah? Yeah, you're dry.

But not for long.

No, Ritchie.

No, no, no, Ritchie. No, no, no!

-Fuck! -Ritchie!

Who's dry now, huh?

Oh, shit, my phone.

-Freaking phone. -That's it, come on, come on.

Come on. I got you, I got you.

Thank you.

It's over that way.

He dives into the water full of God knows what

and you're worried about your phone?

Hey!

It's waterlogged.

Yeah, what's on that phone, man?

Fuck!

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

If... if anybody sees this, if...

they killed Danny.

I don't know who they are, but...

No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

-That's it, you alright? -Think so.

Yeah, just hop up.

We're heading that way.

You need to put it in a bowl of rice.

Oh, yeah.

I'll just pop to the shops and get some, shall I?

How does he expect us to do this?

Nobody in the history of the world

ever showed up in the jungle and was able to...

Did it.

Thank you, Nick.

It's good to have a man who can.

Thank you, Nick.

Maybe next you could use your massive penis

to chop down a tree for firewood

to keep us warm at night.

What was that?

No idea.

-You're kidding, right? -I've got no idea.

I'm from Romford.

I don't know what that was.

No one knows half the stuff that's out here.

That's why they call it "the jungle".

Most women love that line.

Yeah, well, I'm not most women.

Are you married?

Who'd want to be with someone who just keeps disappearing off

into the jungle?

Maybe someone who'd want to go with you.

Do you ever get lonely?

So, how'd you meet, you two? You and AJ?

Well, he needed a job and my father was hiring.

And that's all you're gonna tell me?

-Yeah. -Okay.

So, Romford?

Mm-hmm.

What's an Essex boy doing all the way out here?

Told you earlier about my great-grandfather.

Well, there he is.

George Robinson.

Pretty famous back in his day.

Growing up, I was obsessed with him.

I used to stare at his pictures.

Just wanted to be like him, you know?

Then I got a bit older, came out here a lot more,

and turns out he came out here for the diamonds,

and sapphires,

and whatever he could get hold of.

So, your great-grandfather, he went missing, right?

Do you really think they...

Well, something happened to him.

And there are other stories.

There's a guy who was working for a logging company.

They were clearing forests, got too near

where the tribe was.

You seen the way spiders keep live flies in the web sometimes?

The way that a cat plays with a mouse.

Sometimes the killer whales, they'll take a little nip

out of the sea.

Ages before they can slow them down.

All you have to remember is there's no electricity

where the tribe is, okay?

They've got no refrigerators to keep the meat fresh.

So they keep their prey alive and close at hand

till they need it.

Well, why don't they just tie them to a tree

or lock them in a cage or something?

So, that they can slow them down enough,

so that they can train their young to...

Anyway, this logger, he finally made it back to the river.

Help me!

Somebody, help me!

His heels had been cut all the way through,

and he was screaming about being chased by children.

Flesh-eating children.

-What's going on? -You scared me.

Ah, telling ghost stories again, is he?

All part of the immersive experience,

sit around the campfire trying to scare

the shit out of tourists?

You coming to bed?

Yeah.

Night.

-You alright, babe? -AJ?

I'm fine.

Uh.

Oh.

Night, babe.

Night, night, darling.

Goodnight, Jazz.

Night, AJ.

-Night, Maya. -Night, Jazz.

Night, Ritch.

Night, Jim Bob.

Night, John Boy.

Night, Mary Ellen.

Night, cannibals.

Goodnight.

Give us a kiss.

AJ.

You scared me.

I need you.

Not here.

Why not?

Because your wife is about 20 feet away.

Well, what am I gonna do about this?

I've been walking around with it all day.

Nearly took somebody's eye out.

AJ.

I thought the whole point of this trip was to tell them.

AJ?

What is it?

What's wrong?

Maybe we should wait a little bit longer.

Wait?

I can't go on like this, AJ.

Meeting in hotels,

sneaking around thinking Ritchie might find out.

Well, that's just the thing, okay?

Ritchie and I, we go way back.

Look, I knew him long before you even met him.

And he's still my best mate.

The best friend whose wife you've been sleeping with.

Things have just got a bit out of hand, haven't they, Jazz?

A bit out of hand?

Look, all I'm saying is this is not a good time at the company

for me right now, okay?

Maya's dad's planning on leaving,

which means somebody is gonna have to step into his shoes.

This could be good for both of us.

But you're leaving the company.

How can you leave her

and expect to stay working for her father?

Oh my God.

You're not leaving her, are you?

You're never gonna leave her.

'Cause being somebody means more to you

than being with me.

Jazz, listen to me.

Don't.

What have I been doing all this time, AJ?

Well, can't we just keep things the way they are for now

-and then... -The way they are?

You want me to get back in a boat

and pretend like none of this happened?

Kayaks.

They're called, "kayaks".

AJ!

Jazz, where are you going?

We're in the middle of the jungle.

You don't know what's in there.

It can't be any worse than what's out here.

Oh!

Why does my back feel like concrete?

Maybe it's because I slept between two fricking trees!

Have you seen Ritchie?

What?

He's gone.

What do you mean gone?

Gone as in not here anymore, AJ.

No, he's taken my kayak.

-What? -What happened last night?

Something must have happened for him

to do something so stupid.

Oi, wind your neck in.

That's my best mate you're talking about.

Ritchie!

You're the hired hand who's supposed to show us the sites.

Fair enough, fair enough.

Maybe one of you guys can call ahead to the jeep,

tell 'em we're gonna be late for the rendezvous,

so we don't get stranded out here all night.

Oh no, we can't do that, can we?

Because your phones are in the dry bag on my kayak

with your best mate.

Maybe we could use your phone.

Shit, no, we can't do that either, can we?

'Cause you dropped it in the river

and it's not working anymore, is that right?

You left the phones in the kayak?

I wasn't expecting someone to take off in it.

Please, can we just find Ritchie?

Could be hours away.

Well, there's only one river.

Right, let's pack up, quick.

How did someone like you end up with someone like him?

He's just worried about Ritchie.

Being married isn't always perfect, you know.

When was the last time it was perfect, do you remember that?

Come on, let's get moving.

Shit, no way.

We're too late.

What do you mean too late?

Before yesterday, he'd never even been in the river, right?

He'd never even been in a kayak.

Not go that way.

So which way would you go?

He'll go that way.

-Can't go that way. -Why not?

It's ancient land.

-It's protected. -Who gives a shit?

We go to the jeep and tell them he's missing, they'll have a...

To hell with the jeep.

We're not leaving Ritchie out here.

No, we go the way we planned.

It's them, isn't it?

The people you were talking about.

What people?

Not this crap about a bunch of psychos

living in the jungle again.

Who are they?

They're people you don't want to know, okay?

They don't believe in good and evil.

To them, we're just outsiders, and if they're in need,

we're just food, you understand?

Do you really want to be the guy that left a bunch

of tourists out here?

We don't go in there, they don't come out here.

That is the way it's always been, ever since...

Since granddaddy was slowly roasted over the campfire.

Let me ask you something.

Have you ever seen them?

No.

Do you know why?

Because they don't exist.

-You do what you want to do. -No!

I'll smash a hole in that thing before I let you leave us

out here.

We're going that way to find our friend,

and we're taking the boats.

Excuse me, the kay-fucking-yaks.

So you either come with us or you swim the rest of the way.

Do you understand what I'm saying?

We can't leave Ritchie.

We find your friend, then we get out of there?

Yeah.

Look!

Where is he?

Where is he?

Dry bag's gone.

The phones, they're not here.

Ritchie!

His life jacket.

I'll stay, alright?

We lose the kayaks, we'll never get out of here.

Are you scared, Rambo?

Yep.

I'll give you an hour.

You can stay the night if you want,

but if you're not back in an hour, I'm gone.

We'll be back.

Come on.

Ritchie!

Ritchie?

Ritchie?

Listen.

Ritchie?

That way.

Guys!

I'm over here!

Hey!

So your great-grandfather went missing, right?

Do you really think they...

Ritchie?

Is that you?

Ritchie?

What's that?

God, it's creepy in here.

-Oh my God! -Oh, you bastard.

-What are you doing? -Your face.

Ooh, hello.

Why did you leave the camp?

Ah, I couldn't sleep.

My stomach was doing somersaults all night.

I don't know, maybe I drank too much of that river water

earlier.

Anyway, I know it was stupid, but I was tired.

I got in the kayak, thought I'd power on ahead,

I was trying to find the jeeps to get us out of here earlier.

To be honest, I was so glad

when I saw you guys come in this cave.

Is it just me, by the way,

or is Action Man getting on everyone's nerves?

Well, maybe you should have listened to him.

You took the wrong river, apparently.

And this part of the jungle?

Full of zombies.

Zombies?

That's what he's been telling you?

What a knob.

He's been telling stories long enough about this place,

I think he's actually begun to believe 'em.

Guys, we should be going.

We need the phones.

You took the wrong turn in the river,

and we've got to call the jeep to tell 'em where we are.

No, no, I haven't got the phones.

Well, they weren't there. We thought you had them.

No, no, I haven't seen them.

Maybe they're still in the kayak.

I bet Rambo left them back at the camp.

He's been telling the girls all kinds of shit,

trying to scare 'em.

Oh yeah, you weren't scared though, right?

With these guns?

Come on, guys, we've got to go.

-You alright? -Yeah.

The kayaks.

-Over here. -Oh, forget it.

So we're good, yeah?

Yeah, we're good.

Then why did you try and leave us?

I mean, that's what you were trying to do, right?

Find the jeep?

You know, for a guy who acts all cool,

you're pretty paranoid, you know.

What's that supposed to mean?

Alright, look.

I worked hard at everything I've got.

While you were busy chatting up girls.

Yeah. AJ, the stud.

Meanwhile, mate, I was grafting my nuts off building something.

You had a good idea, it was good timing, that's all.

Right, yeah, right place, right time, yeah?

Sheer dumb luck.

Let me ask you something, man.

My success, the business, does it...

Does it piss you off?

-Couldn't give a shit. -Hmm.

Oh, I see.

You want me to sound proud of you or something.

Is that it, huh? Yeah?

Just never was enough for you, was it, Aaron?

Don't call me that.

Just look at her, man. Look at Maya.

Look how beautiful she is.

You married into a family who gave you a job on the board.

No working your way up from the mail room, no...

no learning the ropes like the rest of us had to do.

No.

But still, that, that wasn't enough for you.

Even someone like her wasn't enough for you.

Your phone's working. It's dried out.

You should really lock that thing.

Son of a bitch. He's gone.

He's taken the food and water.

Everything.

He didn't take everything.

Well, why would he leave that?

Alright, let's get out of here.

Nick's kayak.

Nick!

Where are you, you macho bastard?

What is it?

Let's go, let's go, let's go. Come on, come on, go. Go!

They're eating him, aren't they?

If you hadn't taken his kayak,

his head wouldn't have been in a fucking pot.

This is on you, man.

You really want to talk about who's fucking fault, this is?

-Yes! Come on, then! -Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

They know we're here.

Get in the kayak!

-Get in! -Really?

You're just gonna sit in it right now?

-Great! -Let's get out! ♪

Let's get out!

Come on, we've got to get out.

Get it out!

Everybody, alright?

The kayaks! The kayaks are gone!

They're gone.

-Alright. -What do we do?

Come on, let's go!

Wait.

We're loosing them.

Follow the river!

This way!

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait.

We can't do the river anymore.

So, what way now?

How the fuck are we supposed to know where we're going?

We don't even know how we got here in the first place.

Um, we were travelling southwest before we took the other river.

It must be this way.

Come on.

Fuck.

Jazz!

Stop!

We've got to sort this out.

Not so beautiful out here now, is it?

We need a bandage.

Give me the knife.

Okay.

Oh, fucking hell.

-Fuck. -Is that alright?

Yeah.

That's much better, thanks.

Fucking hell!

Stop, stop.

Did you hear that?

I can hear someone.

Hey, I, uh, forgot to thank you for paying for the trip.

I've loved it.

Especially, the part where we, uh,

found the guy's head in the pot.

And uh, the part where you pissed off

and left us in the camp in the middle of the night.

Oh, yeah.

Want to talk about why I pissed off in the camp

in the middle of the night?

-Fuck you. -Yeah, fuck you.

Oh, you fucking idiot!

-Jazz. -You've done enough!

-Hey, are you okay? -Leave me alone!

Jazz, let me see.

I said, leave me alone!

AJ, the knife.

What are we doing?

They're gonna kill us.

No, they won't.

What makes you so sure?

Nick.

Something he...

Alright.

What did action man tell you that you're not sharing

with the rest of us?

They keep us alive until they're hungry.

Nick said they wound their prey.

Leave them wandering around for days.

Even weeks.

Before...

So, they're playing with us.

Keeping us alive until they fancy a fucking snack.

Alright. Okay, well.

We can't keep moving in this darkness.

We can't see anything.

So, let's rest here a few hours until first light.

At least, then we'll know which way east is.

Keep watch.

Two at a time, keep each other awake.

AJ, you got a better idea?

Oh, that's right.

You're not exactly an ideas guy, are you?

Guess I've got first watch.

It's me.

You have to eat something.

Thanks.

Don't worry.

We'll get out of here.

We just need to keep moving, I guess.

I don't see how we can.

You've seen the state of me and Jasmine's...

Pregnant?

Yeah.

Finally.

We've been trying for three years.

It's just a shame I'm not the father.

I, um...

I did some tests.

Jazz doesn't know.

Guess, some guys just aren't meant to be dads.

I'll stand by her.

If that's what she wants.

Ritchie? Shh.

No, sorry.

I promise you.

I promise you I will save Jasmine and Maya.

I promise you.

Okay.

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no, no!

Jasmine!

Please, you gotta help me.

AJ! Oh my God.

What happened?

Are you okay?

Oh my God, AJ, are you okay?

Where's Ritchie?

He's gone ahead.

He's gone to find the jeep.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

He wouldn't do that.

You said that we had to stick together.

Where is he?

AJ, where's Richie?

He's gone ahead.

He's gone to find the jeep.

He's gone to the jeep, down the river.

He's gone to get help.

Yeah.

Okay.

He would do that, wouldn't he?

If he can get help, then we can get out of here.

-Yeah? -Yeah.

Yeah, let's go find him.

The river.

Come on.

He's there! He's there!

-Run! -Run!

Come on!

Come on.

Jasmine! Jasmine!

AJ! AJ!

It's okay. It's okay.

Don't worry.

It's okay, it's okay. Don't worry.

Um, lower me down. I'm lighter than you.

You'll be able to pull me back up.

Just find something!

I'm gonna come down.

Come on, AJ, quick, quick!

It's okay.

Come on.

Help me. Help me. Help me.

Quickly, quickly!

Tie the rope around me.

It's okay, Jasmine.

Ready?

Okay, I'm coming!

Lower me down.

It's okay. I'm here.

I'm here, I'm here. I'm here.

It's okay. It's okay.

I'm so... I'm sorry.

We'll get you out.

I'm sorry.

It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.

Don't worry. It's okay.

I'm... I'm so... I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

-It's okay. -I'm sorry.

I know, I know.

AJ?

AJ!

You ready?

Please.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Come on.

It's okay.

-I can't. -It's okay, it's okay.

I can't.

We have to go.

Take her! Take her!

We have to jump.

You can do it.

Maya!

Guys, come on.

Get in.

I don't know who's gonna find this.

I'm in the jungle.

You know what they tell you, man?

Don't come here. They're hunting us down.

You were my best friend.

I don't think we're not gonna make it out.

There's too many of them.

You know it's true.

There are out here, man.

They'll hunt you down like dogs.

They killed my friend.

There's too many of them.

We're not gonna make it out.

I don't know what language you speak,

but I think you'll understand.

Eat this, motherfucker.

No, Jasmine! Jasmine!

AJ!

We're both so glad that you came with us on this trip.

You're our best friends in the whole world

and there's no one that we'd rather spend

this time with than you guys.

I'm sorry.

Promise you, promise you, I'll save Jasmine.

I promise you.

AJ!

Get in the boat!

AJ, no!

AJ!

AJ!

AJ!

To best friends.

Best bros.

AJ, please don't!

AJ!

AJ, stop, please!

Please stop!

AJ!

AJ!

I always knew I was never good enough for you.

I was just a... a ticket to where you came from.

You were always trying to be somebody.

When all you ever needed was right here.

Even someone like her wasn't enough for you.

You once said you loved me, because I was smart.

At least, let me have that.

J... Jasmine!

Jasmine!

Wake up!

Come on, get out! Get out of the boat.

Come on, come on. Jazz. Come on, come on.

Come on, Jazz you can do it.

Okay.

Come on.