Original subtitles

Alright, speeding.

Untitled, meteor mor... - It's okay. Try it again Mike.

It’s Meteor. Remember... - Meteor. - Meteor, yeah.

- Yeah you got it. - Untitled Meteor Movie, take 1.

Okay, let's all settle now. Jenny, you look amazing.

This is the first shot of the movie, guys. Pictures up.

And action. - That's action, everybody.

And an action on the documentary as well.

Cut. - That's a cut.

Okay there's three different people saying action,

So I don't really know when to go. - Yeah, you’re right.

Okay. So we should have done this officially before.

So obviously guys, I am the director

And I am allowed to be yelling action and cut whenever I want.

Right? I'm also told that Chris, who is my 1st AD,

is also allowed to be yelling action and cut, but only... - Sometimes.

That’s right, cool. And this guy is Tom, uh, he's the DP and he says, speeding.

Yep. - And then, um, Nate over here, he says, sound speeding. Yeah.

Um, back there’s a grip, his name is Murph and he's, um...

Actually my name's Mike, but Murph is cool too, so...

Back there’s Mike, and then this guy is my cousin Devin.

He should not be saying anything at all.

He's recording behind the scenes, so we're gonna ignore

him and his camera going forward. Everyone cool?

Yeah. I've been on a set before.

And that’s why we hired you. So let's just sit back here...

And... speeding.

Speeding. - Speeding.

Action. - That's action. - Action.

Hey man, I need you to take this seriously.

Yeah I am taking this seriously. - Don't undermine me in front of the cast. Okay?

I do want behind the scenes. This is also a huge favor to your mom.

Well that's funny because my mom said this was a huge favor to you.

Stop messing with me. I'm serious. I am. Who the fuck is this?

That’s Steve, he's our second camera operator.

You have two cameras? Hey Steve. You have two cameras?

Okay. You know what? Cut this.

You know what guys? He's kind of right. Let's, let's cut.

No, I say cut. Cut cause I said cut. Cut.

You can cut now.

When did you cut?

So, uh, we'll get to that scene later.

I'm not too worried about you knocking it outta the park.

Okay. Thanks. Appreciate that, Terry.

- Oh!

Hey, Erica. We haven't got to your scene yet.

I brought you guys some peanut butter celery sticks.

Oh... I’m good. - We loved your tape.

Terry watched it like a hundred times.

Oh!

Thanks, that's... yeah, that's really sweet of you.

Um, I'm really looking forward to working with you.

Oh, you too!

Oh my god, these are so fucking good.

Have as many as you want. I can always make more.

Thank you. - Yeah.

Yeah.

It's really cool that you guys are married.

Oh. - Yeah.

Oh, you know what? We should probably shoot this scene.

- Erica, we should shoot this scene now. - Oh gosh. Yeah. No worries.

- I’ll let you work. - Okay. - Okay.

So do you have any like, projects lined up after this?

Uh, I... I think I'm probably gonna try to get an agent.

You know, maybe this will be usable for a reel or something.

This is perfect for a reel. - Hey uh, Terry? - Yeah?

Uh, we really, we're five hours behind on day one. We gotta keep shooting man.

I know. Of course. - Yeah. - Okay.

Gimme one sec. - Sure.

Let's try to keep up appearances for the cast. Okay?

Why don't we keep up appearances for the cast

by shooting the movie?

Then it'll appear like we're working on the movie.

I mean, just don't be a dick to me in front of...

- the cast. - Okay.

A lot of people standing around just waiting to see what’s going on, so...

Oh, ok you know what, why don't we shoot?

Love it. - Yeah. Cool. - Terry had the idea to shoot.

Let's get ready to shoot guys.

Here they are. The dream cast.

Garry, Jenny, Erica, Phil.

Dream, dream,

dream, dream.

All right. Uh, so we just shot an amazing scene upstairs.

Jenny, you absolutely killed it. - Thank you.

Jenny asked me a question

that I think every actor should ask a director.

What was... what was the question again?

I asked you about, uh, my motivation.

My character's motivation.

Bingo. So, you didn't know

what your character's motivation was.

And I had never thought about it.

But now I know this movie is about a big scary meteor

coming to earth.

Right? That's your motivation. A big meteor coming.

Um, awesome. So I'm gonna mess with the camera a little bit,

and then we're gonna get into it

after the crew finishes up upstairs.

Cool? - Cool. - Okay.

This scene here...

So, how far along are you?

Oh gosh. Any day now.

Wait, and you're still working? - Yeah.

I mean, Terry had this dream, so I'm here to support him.

That's so nice of you. - Oh, thanks. - Wow.

I'm happy for him. This is gonna be great.

And you both are from Iowa?

Yeah. Yeah. First time in LA.

It was either now or never.

Uh, everything's gonna change when that baby comes.

So just kind of pursue my dream of making a movie now

Before it's all... over, you know?

Wow. So you're telling me this movie is like

a metaphor.

For what you're going through in real life.

Like, the meteor is like the baby,

and once it hits everything's different.

Ooh yeah. Kind of like uh...

Eraserhead. Yeah?

What? No, it’s about a deadly meteor.

Yeah but I'm saying there's things that I

can read in between the lines.

References. - Yeah. - Subtext. Right.

Okay. It sounds like we’ve got a big problem.

None of you read the script?

You think this movie's about a baby? - No no no.

No we read the script. - Multiple times. - I’m just saying like,

as the reader, we see the subtext.

It’s about a meteor Garry.

Terry, while you're here, um... why am I wearing this?

Well, you're pregnant.

I don’t love that answer.

It's maybe symbolic. Like you're... - Of what?

The... well... you are... of the old... world.

Like Jenny's of the new world. You’re of the old...

You know, of the old...

Isn't this just what pregnant people wear?

Hey guys! I wanted to introduce myself,

uh, before everyone eats. My name's Jasmine,

and I'm gonna be handling The catering. On set.

Uh, couple quick things. Number one,

if you guys could check your phones for local restaurants

to order from, because I am sure you are not gonna be

satisfied with anything I'm providing.

And number two, this is not my fault.

The budget that I was given only allows for food

That is very, very bad.

Okay, thanks. Thank you. - Okay.

All right, everybody, uh, Jasmine's just joking around.

This is one of Jasmine's classic jokes. - No.

I'm dead serious. No.

You need to pay me if you want me to feed them better.

Which is why I happened

to bring my own delicious salad from Crazy Salads.

I suggest you do the same.

Nobody has to order any food.

Oh yeah they do. - We are stocked.

We’re stocked with food here ok? - This is it.

For the whole production,

Jasmine's gonna be providing food, it's gonna be fantastic.

As fantastic as... what... what do we have

before us here? - I don't even know.

If it’s so fantastic you should eat it.

Mm-Hmm. Yeah. - I had a... I'm full now.

I'm full. - Full?

From what? We don't have crafty. - We didn’t eat yet.

Well, I had pancakes.

Pancakes? - I just loaded up on pancakes, so I don't... I...

but you guys should... this is lunch. - No.

We’re not having that. - No, no.

Looking at this...

We're already behind and it's the first day.

I don't think we're gonna be able to make the week.

Alright. What's the solution, man?

The solution is we get you in a time machine

and you land in LA two weeks ago,

and we do meetings, scouts, rehearsals, et cetera.

Alright. What's the real solution?

I... you're gonna have to give up the idea of shooting this thing in order.

I agree. It doesn't make any sense.

You know, we’re moving lights and camera from the bedroom, the living room,

to the kitchen and back again. It’s just killing our days.

Alright. That's a non-starter. All right?

This movie goes in order. Alright?

No one's gonna be able to keep track of

where they are in the story if we just

shoot this thing willy-nilly.

What? These people are professionals.

Most movies are shot this way.

Okay. You know what guys? How about we do that?

And then we'll eat breakfast for lunch.

We'll have dinner...

for lunch.

And then we’ll all sleep during the day. - Two lunches?

Yeah. I mean, this isn't Pulp Fiction, Scorsese.

This movie goes in order.

No, no, no, no. The... yes, the final cut

of the movie will be in order.

But we're talking about like, shooting it in blocks.

like shooting all the kitchen stuff,

then all the bedroom stuff, then all the living room stuff.

And we may even wrap early and save a few bucks.

Yeah. But then it's all outta order.

Holy shit, man. No.

No we.... you put everything back together in the edit.

In the correct order.

Oh, okay. So when I edit it,

I'm the one who has to do all the work.

Got it.

YOU’RE editing this?

Okay Phil, this is a huge moment for your guy.

It's where you learn that Toronto, where you're from,

has burned to the ground Okay?

Okay. And I'm... I'm hearing it off the tv?

Exactly. So I'll be the newscaster. Right?

You just react. The more tears the better.

Yeah. I got this. I think I can do that.

Okay. Picture's up. You're watching the TV...

And...

Hello and welcome to the Six O’Clock News.

I am Becky. In sad news today the city

of Toronto is burned to the ground

after a lot of people decided to start fires there.

Why did they do it? The earth is gonna be destroyed

and people are panicking.

They're... cut! Phil, what the hell is going on, man?

You're not crying. Your character's FROM Toronto.

It’s just not working for me. That voice that you're doing is just not landing.

If you just stay quiet I can just knock this one out.

Just let me do my thing. Just say action. I'll go.

Okay. Wow. Action.

Okay, this was better when I was talking.

Just admit you can’t cry on cue. - I can definitely cry on cue.

I'm professional.

- Sure. - Okay. Watch this.

Speeding.

If this is an act of God...

why would God allow this to happen?

Good. Now keep that energy...

And instead of that weird stuff you just said,

say what's in the script.

I can't believe Toronto's gone.

Drake died.

I can't believe Drake died.

Toronto's gone. I can't believe Drake died.

Okay. Now it's “I can't believe” for both those sentences.

So “I can't believe Toronto's gone.”

“I can't believe Drake died.”

I can't believe Toronto's gone.

I can't believe Drake died.

Alright, cut. That was perfect.

Alright, hold for roomtone.

Tom, you're breathing like a tired dog.

Me? - I can't hear the breathing, but I can hear you talking.

Like a tired dog?

Yeah, you're breathing loud. - Okay hands up, voices down.

Okay. - Hands up voices down.

We'll try this. - Oh, easy! - Oh god.

Hey, Devin, come here. Pretty cool, right?

I read online that West Underson has his whole

cast live in a house.

Uh, but we're doing it even cooler than him

because we're all living in

the house that we're shooting in.

So it's... well, the crew's in a motel nearby, but yeah.

Hey guys, what's up?

That's the cast right there. Oh my god.

And, uh, yeah, we've been having... oh my god, Erica,

this smells so good.

Wow. You know, I think people are getting pretty hungry.

Nobody touched their lunch. - Terry can you please give me some space?

I'm... I'm trying to cook for MANY people,

and it is extremely stressful.

Please.

Hey. Oh, hey. Must be that time of the month!

I'm pregnant.

What, pregnant people don’t get periods?

Idiot.

You guys like Rodney Dangerfield?

You guys like Caddyshack?

Terry, can you please help me? Can you do something?

I can't... - Could you chop? Could you... could you set the table?

Could you put the plates and forks and the napkins out Terry?

Could you do something? - No, I... - Could you help me?

No I have... - This is extremely stressful.

I have germs on my hands.

You have germs on your hands? - Yeah, I have germs on my hands.

Can you wash your hands? - I’ll wash ‘em. Yeah I’ll wash ‘em.

But there's no... soap?

- Come on. - Don't, please.

Space.

Please. - Alright.

So uh...

How much money does everybody make?

Terry!

For a living.

Yeah, don't ask that! - Okay.

How does everyone like the food? - Mmm, so good.

My god, Erica, you did an amazing job with this.

Really, really good.

Thank you so much. I'm so glad you like it. - Cheers.

Take it easy Garry. That's my wife.

It's beautiful, Erica.

But I, I honestly, um, I'm not eating nightshades right now,

which include eggplants and, uh, tomatoes. So...

They contain lectins and anyways... - Damnit. God damnit.

Sorry. I knew we shouldn't do lectins right now.

And I was talking about it and I said it.

It's okay. It's okay.

Lectins are in eggplant and tomato, right? - Yeah.

I remember saying that.

I remember saying, no eggplant or tomato.

There's so many lectins.

No. What? You didn't say that.

No, I did. Okay. You... fine.

- I've been talking about lectins all day. - It’s totally fine.

I’m just gonna eat... salad.

So, Terry, uh... how did you get into filmmaking?

So, um, so I was trading these meme stocks.

And I didn't know what the hell I was doing, you know,

and I was losing money like crazy.

Then I read about this Paranormal Activity guy.

Did you guys hear about this guy?

He made that movie for like nothing.

And then he sold it for like a bajillion dollars.

So I said, hey, raise some money.

Make a film, sell it for a fuckton.

- Cheers.

Phil, what about you? What got you into acting?

You talkin’ to me? You talkin, to me?

- Oh! - Taxi!

I see what he did. - Yeah. Yeah.

That's great.

What is that from?

It’s just a movie I saw. I... I studied the movie actually.

Like, a lot of my friends got into musical theater,

but I thought that was boring so I did “movie theater.”

That's where... you learned a lot of scenes from movies in the ‘90s.

Hmm. - I love nineties movies.

Yeah. - Yeah. - Yeah a lot of my friends,

they're classically trained, but... honestly,

I kind of think classical theater is boring.

Yeah, it’s... - Oh wow.

- Yeah, it's just too, it's too... - Interesting.

It's too simple, honestly. It's like TOO simple.

Classical theater is simpler? - Seems like Garry has a different take on theater.

Oh no. I just, you know, I...

come from a theater background.

Well he did “you talkin’ to me,” can you give us some Shakespeare?

Oh no, no, you don't...

You guys don't wanna hear me do... - No. Come on. - Alright, fine. Fine, great.

Um, this was my audition piece.

To be... or not to be.

That... is the question.

Whether ‘tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings

and arrows of outrageous fortune...

or to take arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing...

End them.

Thank you. That's... that's all.

Did you write that? - Woo!

No, that's Hamlet. William Shakespeare.

Oh, so you're not a writer? - I've written a few things, but...

But you didn't write that.

- You didn't write that. - No. - Cool.

- No. - Great. - So, um, what's for dessert?

What?

No, it was just like, a funny thing to say right now.

You like funny guys? - Maybe.

I know a joke. - Okay, let’s hear it.

Really? - Yeah. - Okay um...

Are you guys okay with me telling this joke?

Of course! - It's an old one, we used to say this at dinner too.

- Is it appropriate? - It's... yeah, yeah, yeah, it’s very appropriate.

It’s, uh...

Two, two muffins are in an oven, right?

And one muffin turns to the other muffin

and he says, “Oh my god, it's so hot in here.”

And the other muffin turns and says,

“Oh my god, a talking muffin.”

Right? Was that it?

That's the punchline.

Hey Garry... what color is your toothbrush?

Purple. Oh, no, no, no, no. Orange.

Have you been using this toothbrush? - Yeah!

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the one. Why?

This is my toothbrush.

Oh, that's gross. We've been using the same toothbrush.

No, you've been using MY toothbrush.

Hey!

Whoa, dude. Maybe if you didn't steal my lines yesterday,

maybe I wouldn't have used your toothbrush.

Dude, Terry gave me that line. Take it up with him.

No, not taking it up with Terry.

You don't steal my lines and I won't use your toothbrush.

So you're telling me you intentionally

and maliciously used my toothbrush

because Terry gave me one of your lines?

Maybe?

You see this right? I can't work under this...

That was a perfectly good toothbrush!

Hey, what the hell happened last night?

What do you mean?

The cast, they're all stressed and upset.

They're wondering what's gonna happen

with the movie after it's done.

Well, tell 'em not to worry.

I read online that these streamers are

buying like any completed movie.

I don't think that's true, dude.

Well, it is. - No man.

I did this, uh, Rosemary's Baby found footage thing last year.

Everyone thought it was gonna go big.

It's up on Vimeo for $5 rentals right now.

Dude that's not gonna happen with this.

You need to be prepared for if it does.

I know I'm gonna get paid regardless.

But the cast is stressed, man. It's only day two.

You gotta talk to ‘em.

Devin, cut this.

Just put your hand in front of the camera

so I know to edit this out please? - Oh, no.

You're editing the behind the scenes footage too?

Hey, lunch. - What? Jasmine it’s...

9:00 AM. Lunch isn't for five or six hours.

Just stick it in the oven. It's pizza!

But it... it would make my day and all of our days

a lot easier if you could bring lunch... at lunchtime.

Hmm. - You feel me on that, like lunch at lunchtime?

You know what? I’m just gonna leave my number.

And if you need anything...

ANYTHING. - Well, I think I need you to come...

at lunchtime.

Okay. No. Sorry.

Oh. You just, you need me to come. That’s...

At, at... - What, you said you need me to come.

I can come.

Well, no, no, no. I meant like, uh, come, ARRIVE at...

Devin you can take all this out.

Uh, you come... whenever you want! Uh...

just... I’ll see you later.

Okay. - At lunch, lunchtime.

Okay. Well, I didn't, I... was I the driver of that?

No. Right? Christ, my ex-wife is gonna kill me.

All right, everybody. Hey everyone.

I just wanna nip this in the butt cause I don't want any negative tension on set

disrupting our workflow. Alright? Cool.

So it seems like some of you are concerned with

where the movie's gonna wind up.

Yes. Terry, I think I speak for all

of us when I say this thing has been a lot more work

than we thought it was gonna be.

And since all of us are getting paid on the back end,

we just wanna make sure you have a real

plan for distribution.

I’m sorry but Phil doesn't speak for me,

but I do agree with him.

I think a lot of us don't want this to be like one

of those found footage Rosemary's Baby type things.

It's not gonna be one found footage,

Rosemary, whatever that is.

It's not gonna be that. Alright,

We have a star attached to this.

Well, the Rosemary's Baby found footage

thing also had stars.

Did everybody see this movie? - Yes. - Yeah.

We all watched it last night together.

And you know what, maybe this would be a great time

to tell us who our star is gonna be.

Well, I can't do that because

that would ruin the big surprise.

Ooh you know what, what if we could get our money up front?

Like, how, how many of you would just let go of the

backend and trade that for your money up front?

Oh, I’m down. - Yeah. I'd do that.

Guys, listen, I'm not having this conversation right now.

Okay? I'm not gonna give you money when the backend's

gonna give you MONEY, right?

So, um, everyone like watched a movie without me last night?

Terry. Is there

a budget for this movie?

Yeah, I have financing in place,

but none of us should worry about that

'cause I'm very confident it's gonna sell. Cool?

How do you know that?

Because it's got a lot going for it. It's science fiction.

We have a great crew and we got the diversity angle.

I'm sorry, what? The diversity, what?

What the hell's the diversity angle, Terry?

Well, you know, it's when a film is cast like this,

it makes it an easier sell.

I'm sorry. Are you saying that you cast

us because of our race?

Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, obviously. You know, I read online that movies

to be diverse these days or they're not gonna sell.

Wow. I just can't believe

that you’re actually saying that out loud.

You guys know. When you turn on the TV you see

all these interracial couples, right?

But how many interracial couples have I actually met? Zero.

What? - Holy shit. - I know a bunch of

interracial couples. - Well yeah you live in Hollywood.

So there's real reality, and there’s Hollywood reality.

And this movie has to reflect that other fake reality,

where, you know, people of color hang out with white people

or, you know, whatever Jenny is, which we all...

Whatever Jenny is?!

You're, you're racially ambiguous.

No, I'm not. My last name is Suzuki.

I'm 50% Italian.

Okay. - Terry, let's table this conversation.

You know, I wish I wasn't white. Yeah, I said it.

How could I be racist if as the director,

I wish I wasn't white.

You guys, we could all agree that it's really hard

to get something sold as a white guy, right?

Wow. - Oh my god. - Absolutely not.

The ignorance. - And that's good, is what

I’m saying. You don't believe me?

Name a white director who's working right now.

I bet you can't. - James Cameron.

PT Anderson. - Michael Moore. - Christopher Nolan.

Rob Zombie.

Ooh... Michael Moore!

Okay. Alright. Point taken.

But you know, this is a different time

and those guys are also established and old

Terry. That's the dumbest

thing I've ever heard.

After years of systemic racism, people

of color are finally making a little bit

of progress in this business.

And you're saying they're taking white people's jobs?

The little bit of diversity that you see on TV isn't

nearly as diverse as America really is.

You're mad at me 'cause I

cast you 'cause you're black and gay.

Is that why you cast me? Okay. I'm also a veteran too.

Does that make the movie better?

Chris? Is it good or bad to have a veteran?

Let's just wrap this meeting up dude.

It's not going the way you planned, I'm assuming.

Look, Phil, I didn't cast you

Just 'cause you're black and gay.

And a veteran. - And a veteran.

I cast you 'cause you were the best black gay veteran

who sent me a self tape.

Guys this is Terry's first time

in LA maybe someone should just explain to him very slowly

why what he's saying is incredibly offensive.

It's not our job to educate him.

Thank you Jenny. Exactly.

You know, I wanted the movie to be MORE diverse.

I wanted to hire a disabled person.

Well I am disabled.

Really What's your disability?

I have PTSD.

Oh my god, that's great. From what?

That’s none of your business.

I have PTSD too. - Well, yeah, I mean, obviously.

Obviously? - You’re a gay black veteran.

Yeah. You know, there's three reasons...

Hey. sorry to interrupt... whatever this is.

But the toilet's clogged again.

Yeah. Looks like shit.

Terry, come on.

You need to call the AirBNB host.

I’m not calling the Airbnb host because

then they're gonna know we're shooting a movie in here.

Okay well you need to handle this.

Well, looks like I gotta do everything myself. Huh?

Maybe I'll be the one who winds up with PTSD.

Oh, ew.

Ugh.

What is that?

Oh Jesus.

Bet you Zack Snyder never had to

plunge Mike’s shit out of the toilet.

Hey man, what's up?

Hey, what's going on man? How are you?

I’m good. How are you? - Good. What's this?

Oh, um, it's just a behind the scenes thing

for the DVD. - You're doing a DVD?

That's awesome. - Yeah.

I feel like a lot of young directors don't do that anymore

because it's old and insane.

And like no one will see it or hear it.

So I'm gonna be on a DVD?

Yeah. Is that okay?

Yeah. - Okay.

That's Devin. - Hey.

Oh, I'm the Visual Effects Supervisor here, I guess.

Um, I feel like all of the sudden I have to...

Do... - We can just pretend they're not here.

I'm Rick, I'm the Visual Effects Supervisor here,

and I've got a little something to show you here.

Uh, these are a little rough,

but it'll give you the general idea

and I think you're really gonna enjoy it.

Wow. This is really cool. I've never had to do this before.

I'm actually nervous. - It's pretty fun, right?

Ready? - Yep.

Okay!

This is nuts, watch this.

That's the meteor? - That's the meteor.

Karrang!

And then obviously you’ll put music over this so it’ll be like:

Hum dah dum dah!

And then...

And then ALL the boats explode. And then watch this...

Why is there a boat here?

I was going for like a Master And Commander vibe.

Who's that kid? - That's not a kid. That's an old man.

Okay. Now this one is a little bit different,

but I think you're gonna like this one just as much.

Now the meteor’s coming at night? A different one?

And then... - What is that?

Why is there a face?

It looks like a face but it’s not a face.

I didn't know how to remove it, so I left it.

What are the helicopters doing?

They're not fucking, but like I wanted it to seem like

you didn’t know if the helicopters were fucking or fighting.

It's like a B-plot love story

between the helicopters. Watch.

Wait, why is this boat back? Rick? We don't need a boat.

Who's that? - Watch? That IS a kid.

It's an old man.

It looks like a kid with a big beard.

A big grey beard. - It’s supposed to be an old man. Are you ready?

What the fuck is this?

What is this? Rich, what IS this?

It's an alien.

What is he... dancing? - Mm-Hmm.

Does the motion capture look familiar?

This is motion capture? - Yeah I did motion capture for this.

What is... Why did you do this part?

Well, it was an alien... - What is THIS part?

This one... is private actually. This one is not supposed to be...

What is this Rick? - This is... you don’t have to, I just pressed pause.

So could you not touch my computer?

Well I just... - This is a visual

effects computer, so please don't touch it.

It's more expensive than

regular computers. - Well, I wanna see the sequence.

This is a sequence that isn't for the film.

This is a sequence... a different sequence, uh...

Did you use the money that I gave you for this sequence?

No. - You didn’t?

It's a different, it's a different project. This is...

And this was a MoCap suit as well?

This was you?

No? - But you said the other part was the MoCap suit Rick.

I... do you... what do you think of it? First of all.

Do you think... - It's really weird. It’s really strange.

Okay well you don't have to use it for the movie, but, uh...

Yeah I’m not gonna use ANY alien for the movie.

I thought you've done this before. I thought you were a professional.

I am a professional.

I... I'm drinking coffee.

When? Who have you done THIS for?

Uh... Z Lanes, uh, Pit Stop Lanes,

Buck-Buck’s Bowling Extravaganza.

Uh... “Lanez” with a “z.”

Okay. Those are all off-brand bowling alleys?

So what? - Rick, you work for off-brand bowling alleys?

Why are you yelling at me? - Why am I yelling at you?

It’s not illegal to work for a bowling alley.

I paid you $20,000 to do this, Rick.

I know. - And I'm getting an alien who's stripping

and a kid with a beard on a ship.

Well like I said, this was part of my file,

that's not, I didn't press the...

Ow!

Ow!

I'm sorry. Did I hit your knee?

I'm fine. I'm more concerned about you to be honest.

That was so weird. That was SO weird. - That was weird.

Sorry about that, Rick.

Okay, I'm really looking forward to seeing V2.

Nice. - Alright. - Awesome.

DVDs! Still a thing.

Terry, did you touch this? - Yeah!

Yeah? - Yeah.

Don't do that. I have this preset, man.

What do you mean don't touch it? I'm just learning.

Okay. You can touch the camera if I'm here.

Just ask me a question. I'm more than happy to help you, okay? - Okay.

So if you're not here, what shouldn't I touch?

Everything. Don't touch anything.

That's not realistic. Alright?

It is TOTALLY realistic to... - I’m GOING to touch it.

I'm gonna touch... - Okay yeah go ahead. Touch whatever you want then.

Okay. - Okay.

Did you get the shot list I sent you?

Not yet. - Terry!

You said you needed it ASAP yesterday.

I was up all night making this thing, man.

I can look at it now.

You can get it... ok yeah. - I can look at it now. - There it is. Yeah sure.

Oh man. This is perfect. Thanks, man.

You didn't even look at it.

You just glanced at it. - It looks REALLY good.

What do you mean it “looks?” I just wanna make sure you're reading the words.

What is this? What is this?

That's just like, um, I thought it'd be cool

to have like a top-down shot over the bed.

How do we do that? - Oh, I talked to Mike already.

We're just gonna cut a hole in the ceiling. Right?

We just kind of put the camera up there

and mount it to a support beam.

Cut? No, I can't do that. - Why not? - I don't own the house.

I don't own this house. We can't saw a hole in the ceiling.

Okay. Terry, what do you wanna do then?

I wanna shoot it on this thing.

What is THAT?

Are you guys sawing stuff already? - No!

What’s that drywall then?

It's nothing. - Okay.

Yeah, that's just for something else. - Fine!

I don't want anything to do with this. - What's up, Terry?

Mike, what's up? - Hey.

We gotta put it back.

We gotta put everything back.

Where should I saw then?

Nowhere. We can't saw anywhere.

He said we can't saw anywhere.

He said we can't saw anywhere or...

YOU’RE saying we can't saw anywhere?

Mike, what are you talking... who cares?!

Just put it back please. - Okay.

It’s just, I know Terry.

It's just, it's not something he would say. So.

He JUST said it, Mike. - Okay. - He just said it.

That's all I'm saying. I know the guy.

I don’t... you dont... you JUST met him. Okay.

I think I'm falling in love with you. This is crazy.

No, no. I...

I think I'm falling in love with you too.

Cut. - CUT!

Jesus, man, would you stop screaming everything I say in my ear?!

Sorry that's my job. We literally discussed this.

Alright. I'm cutting this kiss.

What? Wait, why, why, why?

That's a... that's such a HUGE moment. - Yeah.

I just feel like you know, the chemistry's off.

From now on no more chemistry between you guys. Sorry.

It's just not reading. - I feel like our chemistry is really good!

Don’t you? - Yeah.

Chemistry wasn't off when you had us do a chemistry read.

Right?’ - Talk about it!

I know, but look at... when you look at it here...

It looks like... - Oh! We look cute together.

No, no, no, no, no. - Terry, we really gotta keep moving.

Okay. Wait, wait, wait.

He... he has been talking about taking control

of his life this entire time, ‘cause of the meteor and...

Mm-Hmm. - And all that.

And this is the moment where he actually DOES something about it.

So why are we cutting that?

Yeah. We literally just said:

“I think I'm falling in love with you.” - Yeah.

You know what? Good point, Jenny.

I think we cut the “I love you” lines.

WHAT?! Why are we on the bed then?

Yeah. Aren’t... we're like the central love story of the whole thing?

Why don't we do one where the meteor knocks Gary on the bed

and Jenny hates it?

Wait, what? We REALLY gotta move on.

Actually, I could use one more.

There was some boom shadow in there.

Yeah well maybe don’t move the camera without telling me first?

Okay, Nate. Christ.

Hey man. How's everything uh, sounding by the way?

I mean, it SOUNDS fine.

On a technical level. Fine.

Let’s get you guys away from each other

and we're gonna, um... did you say you need...

Ooh! You hear the leaf blower? Everyone, leaf blower.

- Don’t hear it. - You know what let's come back to the scene later.

We gotta wrap this. - I can’t even hear that in here.

So we’re fine. We can keep moving.

I'm just gonna, I'm gonna adjust that flag.

We’re gonna need props to come in.

You got dirt on the sheets. - Yeah.

Look, I'll just go talk to the leaf blower guy.

I'll, I'll get him to stop. Don't worry about it.

Boss, I hear you man, if the vibe's off, you know what I mean?

Thanks Mike. - What can you do?

It sounds fine. Why is no one even

listening to me? I listen to everyone all day.

and then no one listens to me.

That’s literally your job.

Okay. If you keep talking to me like that,

then I guarantee no one's gonna

hear anything you say the rest of the movie.

Whoa, whoa! - Is that a threat?

Hey what are you doing, man? - No that was a, it was a joke, I was joking.

Alright great so we all agree the chemistry's off.

We're not gonna shoot this.

I mean, our country needs healthcare reform. - Mm hmm.

Like, okay, take me for example.

Besides my PTSD, I'm a really healthy person.

You know, I obviously take care of myself.

Now, is it fair then

that the dues I pay into a healthcare system go towards

someone else's healthcare bills?

Yeah. I couldn't have said it better myself.

Right? - Yeah.

Really? You agree with that? - Yeah.

I just think that we should have two different

healthcare funds.

You know, one for the healthy, attractive actors

and the other one for the fat sick ones.

That's, that's not how things work. You know that, right?

Yeah, I know. That's not how it works.

I'm saying that's how it SHOULD work.

No, the healthcare fund can't just be full

of sick people, then it will go bankrupt.

Well then maybe they would finally learn their lesson

and say, oh, we don't have enough

money to take care of ourselves.

Maybe we should try a diet or something?

You know what? I agree with everyone.

You can't agree with both.... You know what? Nevermind.

You know what I think we can all agree on is

that this country likes to punish attractive people.

It really does. - You can stop arguing.

Terry nailed it. You're both right.

Hope I'm not interrupting anything!

Russel! - Had to come and see my favorite client!

Hey guys this is my agent Russel.

Oh my god!

Holy shit! - Somebody call 911! Call an ambulence...

April Fool!

You're not getting rid of me that fast.

This Is my guy. This is my ticket out of the Valley!

Oh shit I made a mess. - You did.

Sweetie could you get this too?

Yes. Yes I... yes I can.

Sure. - Erica, make sure you get all that glass.

So there we were on the the back deck

of this old steam ship.

It was just me and Marj Dusay.

Oh yeah. Lemme tell you something.

That lady had the creamiest legs you ever laid eyes on.

I mean, creamy legs.

Back then you could say that to a broad and she'd say, “Thank you.”

Not anymore.

Where was I? Oh yeah, creamy legs.

Back then...

Back then an agency had perks. Perks.

Jesus Christ I was knee-deep in pus...

Okay! Uh, everybody, we gotta shoot now.

Hey, don't let me distract you.

I just came here to support my favorite client.

Look at that face. You picked a winner!

This kid is gonna be huge. Huge!

You can tell, you can feel it. You know?

I once represented Roland Gunson.

And we all knew that he was gonna bust out really big.

Oh yeah.

He never did. But you could tell, you know, you could tell.

He had... he had... size... he had...

That was it. He had size.

Okay, everyone, we gotta shoot right Chris?

I don't give a SHIT.

Wow. I can't believe it. In one hour,

everything we love is gonna be gone.

Everything. Shakespeare, the Beatles,

the World Wide Web... gone.

We can't think like that. We have to live for right now.

What we have right now.

And right now we still have those things.

Shakespeare, the World Wide Web, all of it.

There's gotta be something we can do? Isn't there?

Something we can do about a Texas sized meteor about to

crash into our coastline? Don't be dumb.

Maybe we could leave.

Get in the car and just...

Uh, just...

Is sound picking that up?

One second.

Oh yeah. Yeah. Big time.

- Cut. - Cut! That’s a cut!

Are you making a mayonnaise sandwich?

Uh, so far yeah. I might throw

some chips on here too. For texture.

Dude, I just don't get it.

If this thing has financing, why are we eating...

this. - Bro I have no clue.

Every time I try to talk to Terry about it,

he won't even let me SEE a budget.

Are your checks clearing? - Checks?!

I'm getting an envelope full of cash

with my name on it in my car.

Jesus.

Hey Jasmine. Uh, great work.

The food is top notch.

Thanks babe.

Thank you.

She said “babe” right?

Yeah. She said babe.

Whew, I’m gonna have to... nip that in the butt.

I can't believe you've never been in anything before.

You're, you're just a natural. You're a natural.

That's very nice of you to say. - Yeah.

You, I didn't even think I'd be able

to memorize the lines. - Listen,

If you, if you ever think about getting an agent...

I think you and I would be a great fit.

No, I, I'm serious. I'm serious.

Hey, ask around, I got a great reputation as a negotiator.

I'm a shark.

Oh, I gotta take this.

Excuse me.

Carla! How are you, darling?

So we got an offer or what? Oh, good!

- $200 a day. - Hey, come on.

I can't ask man to work for scale. Come on.

I know it's in indie,

but there's gotta be a little wiggle room somewhere!

No, huh?

Yeah don’t worry. I’ll get him to do it.

Send me the details.

Yeah. Bye Carla.

Shit.

Hey Ter.

W-what are you looking at?

Huh?

Nothing. I was just thinking

1, 2, 3, 4...

FIVE!

Come on!

Oh! Help!

Erica! Erica!

Hey.

Hey.

Everything okay? You seem more... stressed than usual.

I’m fine.

Okay. Can you at least talk to me?

Okay. What do you wanna talk about?

I don't know. I just, I...

I kind of feel like I have been doing my best to help you,

you know, live your dreams. Right?

First it was the day trading, then it was the concert promoting stuff.

Then it was making a movie.

And you're here, you're doing it.

We are in Los Angeles making a movie

and you just seem absolutely miserable.

No, I'm... I'm having fun.

I don't think you are. - I am having fun.

This is what fun looks like for me.

Every day is more fun than the last.

And these guys on set, you know, we’re friends,

we're buddies, we razz each other.

They're like, “Terry, you're so far behind.”

Chris is always saying that I'm late, you know,

and Tom called me a fuck face, and...

That's mean. That's a mean thing to say.

No, the way Tom said it... it was like, a brother.

Okay. - You know? - Yeah.

I'm just saying, this is a blast.

Anyways, I just, I don't... - Alright, fine!

Yeah it's more stressful than I thought it would be.

But that's normal, right?

Like, it's not the process that anybody likes.

It's the awards, the premieres, the parties.

It's not the present. It's the future.

The future's gonna be the good stuff.

Okay. Um, I think...

I think a lot of people like the process.

Well, so you don't think we should be in Los Angeles?

No! I... I did NOT say that.

I just think that you keep moving the bar.

Well, it's kind of true, you know, to be...

a player in the entertainment industry,

You don't really have to be located in Los Angeles anymore.

You could be anywhere. - Great!

'Cause our families are in Iowa.

And maybe after all this wraps up,

we can just go back there.

Nooo! I mean, like, PEOPLE don't need to be in Los Angeles.

Directors do.

Okay. Why did you bring that up then?

Because you don't like my body.

What? - Yeah. You think that I'm in LA now,

I don't have this LA body type. Right!

That I should go back to Iowa.

Like I should join the gym or something.

I mean... no! I, I think I'm all for you being healthy...

Of course. - There it is, you hate my body.

What?! - And that's exactly why I brought it up.

This conversation is over. We're staying in Los Angeles.

Okay. I think we can all agree,

The vibe felt pretty weird the other day.

So I think I came up with the perfect solution.

Okay?

You didn't tell him there's gonna be steps.

Who’s this?

I'm Brett. - Who is Brett?

Brett.

That's Brett. - Hi Brett. - No, I mean I know he's Brett.

I'm saying like, what are you doing HERE?

Oh, got it. I am Brett. B-R-E, double T.

Intimacy Coordinator.

You gotta be fucking kidding me. - Brett don't joke around.

Alright?

I know what you're thinking. Oh. oh, but he's a guy.

Yes. Right. Exactly.

I found out almost NO men worked this job,

so I sued SAG-AFTRA to get it. Now...

- Who's porking? - Whoa.

Wow. - No one. No one is “porking.”

Not yet. You’re bad!

Okay. Brett's just here to make sure,

you know, everyone feels comfortable.

We wouldn't want any Me Too situation happening on set Garry.

What? - Exactly. Because if another one does happen,

I'm out of the union.

So you've been in trouble before for that kind of thing?

No, I have been “convicted” in an “arbitration proceeding”

for “turning a blind eye” to

“repeated and unrepentant sexual harassment on set.”

Hey, the EPK crew. Huh?

I gotta sign something? We hanging it out later?

Okay guys, now everyone's feeling a little safer,

I say we shoot. - Yeah let’s, lets do it.

Yeah, let's just, yeah.

Real safe.

Untitled Meteor Movie,

scene 15A take one.

Speed. Action.

Okay.

I think I’m...

falling in love with you.

I think I'm falling in love with you too.

Okay can we hold for one second? - Whoa!

Yes, yeah, of course. - Just a second.

I don't mean to give you a line read here,

but I thought maybe at this point, before the kiss,

you could say, “Hey babe, what do you say we...”

“slap nasties.”

What?! - Yeah. Not, not, not saying that. Not doing it.

No lines, no lines. You don't want a line read. I hear ya.

So maybe you can sort of inch...

your hand out towards her collar.

I don't think she... - To sort of suggest,

that maybe,

things are gonna get a little rough?

I honestly, I was feeling a lot more comfortable

before uh, you started intervening.

Yeah, me too. I felt so... - Oh!

Ah ah ah ah, “Me Too.” He said it!

Really? Really?

Not it!

How much are we paying this guy Terry? - I didn’t know he was going to

be like this. Alright, how about we do another one

and Brett, you just tone it down about 100%? - Okay!

Mm hmm. - Alright. Alright. - Cool.

You don't need to take it personally, it's just... - I don’t take it personally.

I'm a professional.

Okay. Okay.

Lady, I'm doing this for you. - Lady?!

I'm doing this to keep you comfortable and happy.

I don't feel comfortable around you.

For the record.

Here it is! - Your energy needs to change Brett.

I’m sorry, your energy... - MY energy needs to change?!

YES your energy needs to change and

I'll fucking change it. - Oh, you're gonna change MY energy?

Oh yeah, I’ll change it!

Alright Terry, that was a lot of fun.

Hey, you paid for the day. You sure don't want me to

hang around a couple more hours?

Nope. Definitely sure.

That was the only intimate scene

so thank you very much. - Yeah, well, you know,

it's not really your job to determine what’s intimate or not.

Okay. You take cash? - Yeah of course.

Cash is king, baby.

Ooh, Garry. Can I talk to you for a second?

Uh, yeah!

See you Garry. - Ha ha ha alright we'll see ya!

I told him to leave. - Yeah.

What would you say if I asked you... your character,

to gain like 50 or 60 pounds for this role?

You want me to get fat?

I mean you know how we talked about like the meteor

being liberating and stuff? - Y... yeah? Yeah.

Why would your guy be so ripped?

You know, would you keep going

to the gym if you knew you were gonna die?

I mean, okay?. I mean, I, I, I... okay.

I, yeah, that, that's gonna be kind of hard with the,

you know, stuff that you're giving over at crafty but...

Yeah, I can, I can do it. It's totally fine.

This is a serious discussion.

I don't know. I, I think that the only

thing I can do is just

try to get this guy fat.

Terry, what does that have

to do with what I just asked you?

What's good for the movie is good for the baby.

How is Gary being fat good for our baby?

Because it's good for our movie.

Does this have something to do with the weird

body dysmorphia thing that you mentioned the other day?

This has nothing to do with my body.

Yeah, no. Like you tried to work out to compete with Gary

and you realized it was too hard, and now...

you're just trying to make him fat.

Uh, why are we talking about this?

Terry? Because I JUST asked you

what we were gonna do if this baby comes before the movie is done shooting.

and you for some reason brought up making Gary FAT.

And you for some reason are mad that Gary MIGHT get fat.

I am not mad. Okay? I am... I'm, I'm frustrated. Okay?

I'm frustrated that I'm talking about our baby

and you are talking about the whole Gary thing.

And, and, and Devin is, Devin is here. I'm sorry Devin.

No offense. - Just pretend I’m not here.

- I'm sorry. - I'm sorry.

- I didn't mean to yell at you. - Sorry.

Sounds like somebody needs an intimacy coordinator.

What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you left.

I left my iPad. And I wanted to say goodbye.

It was great chatting with you.

So good to chat with you.

Really, god bless that little baby.

Aw! - These are the best years of your life.

Just treasure every moment alright? - Thank you.

What the fuck is going on?!

You guys know each other or something?

We had a coffee at craft service!

Yeah. Terry. I have conversations.

You... need... a bath. - Thank you Brett! Thank you!

Seriously. I came up here to say...

I have family in Toronto

and that scene was...

incredibly moving.

Oh, thanks. - Yeah. Okay. Thank you.

How much did that guy cost?

Why is everybody asking me that?

Because I know you're really worried about money.

Shhh! Don't say that out loud.

Well, it's pretty apparent.

Look, I've got a solution to the money problems.

Don't worry about it.

Okay Erica, during this scene, I want you to hold this Diet Coke.

Have that logo facing the camera. Alright?

Garry, during this scene,

you're gonna be just going to town on that cake.

What? - I said during this scene, you're gonna be going

to town on that cake. - Alright.

Perfect. - Yeah. - Alright.

Nate, can we hear this helicopter at all?

No, not at all. Good to keep moving.

Okay, it’s not picking it up? - No, not... not at all.

You're not picking up this chopper?

Can't, can't hear a thing in my headphones.

Alright, we are behind, we are shooting with the chopper.

It adds value. Let's go.

I can’t hear my cues though.

We’re doing this one with the chopper. - Okay!

We'll do another one later without the chopper.

We'll see which one is better. - Should I yell? - Yeah. Yell.

Everyone's gonna be yelling over the chopper for this one okay?

Yeah, okay! - Okay here we go. Rolling, and....

Here we go, yell over the chopper. And action.

I can tell something's wrong!

LITTLE LOUDER PHIL!

I CAN TELL SOMETHING’S WRONG!

No shit, something's wrong! I've wasted my entire life!

Aw, Come on. That's not true.

Alright, let's bring the Coke can up

into frame a little bit more.

Perfect.

No, it, it is true. It is true. Okay?

I've spent my entire life too afraid

to follow any of my dreams.

And this meteor's coming

and now I won't ever, I won't make anything of...

I won't make anything of myself.

Okay cut!

And we'll do the dance sequence later.

Now let's do one with these potato chips.

Alright get that label right. Garry, absolutely perfect.

What? - Looks absolutely perfect. - Okay.

Keep... you can even add some, you know, “mmm, yummy!”

“Mmm this is good!” Okay. - Exactly right. - Cool.

Alright, here we go. And we're still rolling.

Action!

Mmmmm mmmm.

And I listened to them. - Yeah.

For what? - Mmmmmm.

GREAT! OKAY NOW WE’RE GONNA DO ANOTHER ONE

WITH A DIFFERENT PRODUCT!

ERICA NOW YOU HOLD THIS ONE!

ATTA GIRL!

AND I LISTENED TO THEM!

FOR WHAT?!

Why am I holding a sponge?

Don't call it a sponge!

It’s... called “The Original Scrub Mommy flex texture scrubber.”

If you can fit that in, great. - Okay.

Chopper's gone. Is that okay? - Yeah.

Again, let's just get through this.

We have to go get insulin for Garry.

Yeah. Yeah. This is getting intense.

Hey!

Hey! - Who are YOU?

I'm Toby. I'm the owner of the house. What is all this shit?!

Oh... it's not... Hey!

What... the... hell!

What? Why are you filming me?

Oh my god.

You're shooting a porno in my kitchen?!

No.

And you got a hole in my wall? Why?

Why? - Hey!

That is not Terry’s fault okay?

If you wanna blame anyone, blame me

and my stupid fucking ass. Fuck. Terry. I'm so sorry, dude.

It's cool. Everyone calm down.

Hey, no one's shooting a porno in here.

Okay. Well you still all have to get outta here NOW, okay?

- RIGHT now. - Okay.

No, no, no, no! Guys, guys.

I think we can come to some type of agreement, alright?

No! No, we can't come to an agreement.

You've all gotta be outta here

before my girlfriend gets back from her audition.

Or she is gonna flip her shit if she sees all this.

No coasters?! What is wrong with you?! - I’m sorry.

Oh my god. - I’ll get those out of the way.

Oh I suppose you three are the ones gonna have an

orgy on my antique kitchen table.

No, no, no, no, no. There's no orgy being shot here.

Ha, yeah, not anymore there's not.

WHAT ARE YOU ALL STILL DOING HERE?!

Toby! We have a proposition for you.

Okay. What?!

Could you just step over here for a minute?

We’re all mad about this. Alright crew, take five!

We'll be right back. - Don’t touch me. - Sorry.

We are prepared to offer your girlfriend a role in a film.

What? - Well, You said she was at an audition.

So I'm assuming she's an actress?

I mean...

she wants to be.

Perfect. We’re gonna put her in a movie.

You don't even know if she can act.

It does NOT matter. Can she?

Hell if I know.

It’s fine. You know, well find a place for her.

You just have to let us keep shooting.

We’re almost finished.

I don't know... I mean...

Why are there holes in the walls?!

I'll take care of that.

What is that guy’s deal?

I'm gonna fire that guy. Alright? He creeps us all out.

I don't know why he put the holes in the walls...

Alright.

Honey.

Hey, do you want to be in a movie?

I, I don't know what it's about. What's it about?

It's about a space meteor.

It's about a space meteor.

Okay, well, well come on home then. Alright.

Sure. She'll do it.

It's fictional by the way.

Good news, bitches.

So, you know that guy who just yelled at us?

His girlfriend is gonna play Jenny's sister in the movie.

What? How's that gonna work?

Well your girl is gonna have a sister.

Yeah we've already established that

my character is an only child.

I had that whole monologue about feeling

alone in the world. because I'm an only child. Like, what?

And we have no idea what Toby's girlfriend looks like.

Her age, her height, you know?

Okay. So she can't play Jenny's sister. Good point.

Is he... having a stroke? - Oh no. He's... thinking.

This happened at Chipotle the other day.

Eventually I just had to order barbacoa for him.

- Ter? - I got it.

Chris.

I need you to run to Spirit Halloween. I got it.

I... I don't think he got it I don't think he got it.

Spirit Halloween? It’s like fucking April.

Where is he going? - I got it!

You are gonna run into the couch if you...

keep walking like that.

The mail is here!

Okay, let's cut. - Okay.

Alright. Let's go again. That was great.

Thank you.

Uh, this time just don't look directly into the... lens.

Okay? Got it. Yes!

Lens is a big no-no spot. Okay. Oooh!

Um, I'm ready. Let's do this.

Resetting, back to one.

This doesn’t make any sense. Why would

she still be delivering mail when a meteor's coming?

I have so many questions.

And action.

Hey, it's time for mail why don't you.

Cut? It was great.

But you were looking in the

lens almost the whole time that time.

It's like, it's just, can it be a part of the character?

Okay. How about we do one

where you DO stare at the camera,

but we just pretend it's right here?

Can you pretend the camera's here?

Wow. You guys are stretching me. Okay.

You're the last mailman alive.

Okay. - No lens. And action

Mail is here.

- Oh God. - I love my job delivering mail.

Okay, I think we got it.

Okay. - That's the one.

Thank you both so much.

And Darby, excellent work today.

Thank you. It... was a blast.

So, uh, how should we handle payment?

Payment? - Yeah. Darby’s SAG.

Yeah.

Well see this isn't a SAG picture.

This is more of a... micro budget.

Ooh. That might be a problem.

Yeah, we do not want her getting into

any trouble with the union.

How much is SAG minimum?

Like 5,000? - Two hundred bucks.

Really? - Yeah.

That's low. Ohh...

Alright. Well we've... we've got a dinner.

You can just mail us a check. Alright.

Where to?

To here. Our house.

You’re shooting in our house.

Alright. Come on babe.

Bye. - Is she looking in the lens again?

God that’s low.

Hey guys, I got some AMAZING news.

Russel just called me.

I booked a movie.

Way to go bro!

Whaaaat? - That’s amazing!

Wow! - Yes! Congratulations!

That's awesome. - Thanks bro, appreciate it.

Good work. - Hey uh... this IS a movie.

This is a movie.

Uh, yeah. No, no. But like a... like a real one.

Yeah! - Gettin paaaid!

Alright when does it shoot? When does it shoot?

Uh, yeah see that's, that's kind of the... the issue.

Uh, they need me...

in five days.

Five days? - Yeah. - Absolutely not, man.

Terry! He’s got like four scenes left.

We could shoot him out tonight if we had to.

I'm not shooting out of order!

How many times do we have to go over this?

We’ve already shot out of order.

We’ve been shooting a bunch of stuff out of order.

Yeah, but then it goes back in order in the edit

and everybody knows that. - Exactly. So shoot him out.

Dude, you signed a contract.

Dude we were supposed to wrap AGES ago.

And we’re not. Okay?

And I just stuck my neck out for the film for a place

to shoot by putting Darby in it.

And you're just gonna bail on us?

Okay wait wait. Let me... let me ask you a serious question.

Do you have a problem with me?

No. - No? You don't?

Cause it feels like it. You’ve been riding me since day one.

Bullshit - Bullshit? - Bullshit.

You know what funny enough, I didn't even want

to do this film in the first place.

Russel's not really bringing in much work

and it's not much going on out there

so I was like, you know what? Fine.

Let me just go ahead and do this nice little indie project.

See what might come of it. You know? - Exactly.

Yeah. But that's not gonna happen.

Because we're not gonna finish this fucking movie.

Alright? The script was incoherent when we all first

read it, and now it was just some fucking metaphor

for your wife being pregnant.

This movie's about a meteor.

Stop psychoanalyzing me, idiot.

Yeah. - I'm not an idiot.

You're an idiot.

- Oh you wanna go? - Terry. Terry! - You wanna do this?

No!

- You really wanna do this? - Don’t, come on yall.

- Chill! - No, no, no, no.

Jesus. Get off. - No, no! - Get off me, dude.

Should we break this up? - No.

I think it’s time Terry learned a lesson.

Oh, you made a mistake by pinning me. - Oh, I did?

Yeah 'cause I'm gonna flip it on you. - Oh, good luck. Try.

I’m gonna flip it. - Try.

This isn’t about the movie Devin, you can just cut on this. - Keep going Devin.

Keep going. - Don't listen to Garry. He’s not the director. Okay?

Are you done? - I'm done.

Are you calm? - I'm calm. - Take a breath.

I’m calm.

I'm calm. Okay it’s a draw.

Ain’t no fucking draw. Get up.

I'm sorry guys.

Jesus. - I'm cool.

You son of a bitch...

- Ahhhh not again! - Yeah, again.

- Hey man. What’re you gonna do now that Garry left?

Devin. No, Devin. Not right now.

Oh good. There you are. Uh...

We should probably talk about what you

wanna do now that Garry left.

No.

Everything’s fine.

Okay. Well, this is probably not as important,

but Mike left too.

I think he felt some guilt about all the sawing?

He wanted me to give you this.

Alright, well, see you tomorrow.

Give it a rest. You're having your baby.

I'm having my baby. - This? This baby is YOUR baby.

Alright exactly. Then I'm having two babies. Alright?

I need you to back me up on this stuff.

Support me like I'm supporting you.

This entire fight is about you not supporting me.

Well, isn't it interesting

that now it's about YOU not supporting ME.

No. It's not interesting.

Everything's fucking riding on this movie.

You don't think I know that? All of our savings.

the money from my parents, our friends?

Terry, you’re the one that's messing this all up.

How am I messing this up?

I...

I can't believe I even have to say it.

Okay your crew hates you. The cast can't stand you.

Garry walked.

God Terry, it’s like I don't even recognize you at all anymore.

I don’t want people to recognize me anymore.

Alright? They don't give blockbuster

franchises to nobodies from Iowa.

Well, I like that nobody from Iowa.

Yeah you would, you’re from there.

SO ARE YOU!

Keep your voice down. - Okay. God damnit Terry.

I am not an idiot. Alright?

I know you've got a thing for Jenny. Okay?

Pssh, Jenny? What?

She's ugly.

You know what? It doesn't even matter anymore.

Because...

Her and Garry have been sleeping together all week.

What? - Don't mess with me. Alright?

I’m serious.

I only love you.

How do you know they’ve been fucking?

Oh, okay.

I am, I'm, I'm honestly, I'm past the point

of giving a shit about you and me.

You need to make this movie work.

For the baby okay? That means stop hitting on your

lead actress. That means listening to your crew!

And that means keeping your weird racial opinions

to yourself and getting this movie finished.

You need to find a solution for Garry.

Tonight!

- YOU HAVE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! - - Sorry, sorry, sorry!

If it's good enough for James Cameron,

it’s good enough for us.

Ladies and gentlemen...

meet the new Garry.

Oh my god. - Terry that isn't gonna work.

Oh, it's gonna work. Rick?

What's up guys? - Who's this now?

Holy shit.

- Rick? - Oh fuck.

Tom?

Why is this asshole here? - Do you gys know each other?

Know each other?! This freaking penny dick owes me $500.

We used to be roommates. I don't have a penny dick.

I don’t even know what that means.

Yeah. “Roommates.” Roommates pay rent. They're on the lease.

You know what Terry? You can go ahead and just gimme his check.

You're not getting a dime from me, buddy! - Oh yeah?

No! - You're not gonna get... okay. well then I’m not gonna

push the record button.

How do you feel about that? - I don't care. - Okay, great.

Guys, this doesn’t have anything to do with the film.

Yes. Now it does.

Now it does. - Why does it now?

I'm not playing... - Give me his check!

Give me his check 'cause he totaled my bike.

I didn't... You took pictures. You put 'em all online.

You said it was my fault. We all saw the pictures.

Someone needs to reimburse me for my totaled bicycle!

Did you get it fixed?

Noooo! You can’t fix a totaled bike!

I don't like your fucking tone I’m not a child. - Did you buy a new bike?

Yeah, I got a new bike. - Wow. - It's beautiful.

And it's NOT totaled. - Oh, great. - It works.

- Good job. - And I'm a man on it.

Yeah I'm sure you are. What color is it?

Green. In all the right places, pal.

That's my favorite color. Okay.

I know it's your favorite color. - Yeah.

I got you that green sweater for Christmas.

I still wear it. - I miss living with you. - I know.

Fuck, man! - Where are you living now?

Pasadena! - Me too. - Shut up.

What’s your rent? - My rent's insanely high. - Me too, man.

It’s crazy. It's hard to deal with expenses. - It’s like $2700.

Are you kidding me? - No. We were paying what?

$1900. - And we were splitting it.

And we were having a blast and at night we had someone to talk to.

We really should get to shooting something Terry.

And not your fucking Swiffer.

Rick's gonna make it work.

No. You... you fire him. You fire him. - No.

Fire him. - That's a dumb idea. - I, we can't work together.

Don't listen to him. - Guys, we got a movie to shoot!

Okay well I'm not moving a muscle

until you fire this asshole.

Same. I'm not moving a muscle until you fire THIS asshole.

Ok Rick's fired. - Fuck.

Really? - Alright, yeah. - Everyone speeding?

Yeah. Good. Good. Yeah.

Oh, thank god. I'm starving.

Well, don't get too excited.

This is all I could get on short notice.

Short notice? Lunch happens every day.

Okay. Well, what is it? What are we having?

Leftovers from last night's Freeform party.

Yuck, has he still not paid you?

Not a cent. - Are you serious?

Are you serious? - Yeah.

This is dumb. Where’s Terry?

Ham's pretty wet.

Ok I hear you when you say you're under a lot of stress.

And I hear you when you say that.

Terry! Do you hav money or not?

Whoa! What the hell, dude?

Jasmine just brought lunch

and it's a bunch of cold leftovers from some

Freeform wrap party last night.

We're cutting corners where we can so

that we can put all the money on the screen.

Yeah. Well, your screen is about to be filled with a

bunch of very ill actors

if you don't get us any real edible actual food!

In the next hour!

Mary? Hey, we're gonna have to call you back. Sorry.

Uh, maybe you should just tell him?

About the money.

Tell me WHAT about the money?

What about the money?!

Terry! Terry.

Terry. Tell them what you told me upstairs.

You guys are gonna love this. You have the floor.

Alright. You're making way too big a deal about this alright?

Yeah I lied about the money.

We didn't have financing in place technically. - WHAT?!

So stupid right?

‘Cause we DID have money.

And it was the same amount that I said we had.

Uh, I just didn't raise it technically.

Tell 'em where it came from.

Well, some of it was from, uh, Erica's parents.

You know, some of it was our savings. Right?

Um, and most of it was, uh, you know, like, um...

Crypto. You guys know cryptocurrency?

Oh great. - Yeah? - Crypto, I’m familiar.

Um, like Bitcoin.

Dogecoin.

Yeah we know, man, we know.

Terry made a hundred grand off of crypto coin.

That's where the money came from.

Okay. Yeah. Well, that's not so bad. Right?

Exactly Jenny.

Thanks for always having my back.

Ask him what the coin was.

Yeah. Um, so, you know,

I was buying all these little different coins.

It was fun. And some of them did well.

Some of them did bad. The one that really popped off...

it wound up being like an alt- right thing like a Nazi coin.

A Nazi coin! See, I knew this dude was a racist!

Wait, so this whole thing, we're making it with what?

Nazi gold? Or...

No. No. Well....

Cypto is a lot like gold. - No it’s not.

Yeah, it is.

It's more like gold than... regular currency.

Gold is an... element.

Well... right, but right now...

TERRY WHAT THE FUCK MAN?!

Well I’m just saying most financing isn’t backed by

anything, but crypto's real. - Okay, just so you know,

crypto's not what we have an issue with.

Okay. - It’s the OTHER word.

It’s the Nazi stuff man! We’re not Nazis here.

Even though you look like fucking...

Hitler Youth Group, for Christ's sake.

Look, I didn’t know any of this, and I sold it all before

I even knew it was bad.

What was the name of the coin?

- Swasticoin. - SWASTICOIN?

What, Swasticoin? - Swasticoin? - Swasticoin?!

SWASTICOIN? - Swasticoin?

Swasticoin. - You didn’t “get” it?

You didn't understand?

I bought a lot of different coins. - And all those coins did bad,

But Swasticoin went through the roof?

Yeah. And I’m sure some of them were PRO semetic.

Okay well, this article is saying

that Swasticoin was an alt-right Ponzi scheme,

and all the money that went into it was used

to fund a museum that denies the existence of the Holocaust.

What the fuck does that even... they make

a museum for that?!

Wow, I’m so sorry you guys.

I’m just hearing about this as well.

And I am SO embarrassed. I'm mortified.

Well that article had a ton of bias against crypto.

Oh well it's not the only one.

There's multiple articles that basically just say the same thing.

Well journalists hate cryto because they're owned by the World Bank.

You keep saying crypto man. We're talking about Nazis! - Right.

I think journalists in 2023 are allowed to be biased against Nazis.

No, crypto. Because of the World Bank.

Do we wanna talk about crypto?

Or do we wanna make a movie? - Neither right now.

If I'm being honest.

Terry, you said you HAD money.

Keyword HAD. How much Nazi coin is left?

Um, technically nothing. - How?!

The last few days I've been paying for everything

with my Amex.

Wait, what? Our Amex? Terry, where did the money go?

These things pile up. - They pile up?!

Wait, you are never gonna pay me?

Fine. I'm so sorry, guys. I'm so sorry for everything.

I'm sorry, too. - FUCK you, Terry.

I wouldn't take your Nazi shit coin money anyway.

Bullshit. Sorry guys.

You don’t have to apologize. - Mm-Hmm.

That was crazy. - No it wasn’t.

No, she’s not the crazy one right now Terry.

Uhhh, hello?

What is Seal doing here?

Is now a bad time?

Oh, this looks incredibly weird.

This is our celebrity cameo.

What? You didn't tell me that!

Wait, but how's that gonna work? Because...

Aren't all the celebrity cameo scenes with Garry?

Which one of you is Garry?

He's a little tennis ball over there.

Terry, I should have done this a long time ago...

Even with Seal here...

I’m out.

Out. Yeah. You know what? I’m out too. No offense, Seal.

Okay, guys, come on. No, no, no. Guys, guys, listen.

We are SO close to finishing.

Oh boy. I ruined the movie.

No! - No, no. - Oh no! Seal!

Definitely not you. - You’re wonderful - This has nothing to

do with you. - What if I pay you guys?

With what money?

Don't worry about the money. 5,000 bucks.

Split down the middle and you can keep the backend.

I dont want the backend! - Yeah I’m not, were not

interested in backend.

Seal’s in the movie. You're gonna want the backend.

I need this money in my hand.

Or I'm not shooting another scene.

Yeah I'll put it. I'll put it in your hand.

Terry where are you gonna get the money?

Let me worry about the money.

Two days. Come back in two days and we finish the movie?

Okay, we'll see. Two days. You got TWO days.

Or I’ll NEVER talk to you again.

Nice meeting you. - Nice to meet you, too.

Wonderful working with you Seal. - Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you. Thank you. Uh, Terry, what about the crew?

Uh, Terry?

What about the crew?

What about me?

Seal?

Hey, you two look great. So Erica's fine.

I'm just calling... well, you know, Erica wanted me

to call because we do need a little bit of help financially,

um, for the baby.

So she's due any day now, and...

we could really use the help, it’s A LOT.

Where's Erica? How come she's

not a part of this conversation?

How much do you guys need?

Well, that's the good news. We only need $10,000.

Ahhhh... go get Erica.

She’s... Erica's busy. - Doing what?

She's resting her... tummy.

What happened to the money we loaned

you about a month ago?

We spent it all on, you know... baby stuff.

There's cribs, nursery, cradles,

diapers, pacifier.

One of those things, uh, run...

where the baby runs in it?

It just... it just piles up. - Wait, wait.

Speaking of...

What is the deal with the baby registry?

I understand the bibs and the silicone bowls,

but what about this T44 Kino Flo FreeSyle tube light?

What is that?

I have no idea what these baby things are.

Um...

Do you guys WANT to help the baby? It's fine if you don't.

Wait let me stop you right there, partner. Okay?

Okay. - This baby will not have to

worry about a goddamn thing.

Good. - But if you think we're giving YOU another penny?

You're outta your mind.

Well, I'm not... it doesn't...

I completely agree with everything he just said.

So, that's final!

How do you turn this thing off? - This... - How do we leave...

Erica wanted me to call.

She was the one who... this was her... - Just hit it hard.

This was her... - Hit it hard.

Sorry. - Swipe. Swipe.

I'm swiping. - Put your face there so they can see you.

No, no. No that's not it.

I can't believe you asked my parents for more money.

Yeah. Well, you know what?

If I had a family with money, I would ask them, but I don't.

Okay. Well, I'm not getting

dragged into this with you again.

What about your family who lives here IN California?

I don't have family in California.

Yeah, you do. - Who?

Your grandma. - Gigi?

Yeah. - She's alive?

Yes! - She's still alive.

She's still alive. - And she lives in California?

Yes she lives in California! - Where?

Seal Beach. At that leisure center.

Seal Beach. At that leisure center. I told you Devin!

Let's go to Seal Beach!

Oh my god look at that ocean! Look at that ocean.

Devin, look at the ocean.

Just... can you look at the road?

- Look at the ocean, dude. - Okay.

When are you gonna see the... forest for the trees dude?

Come on.

Would I say I'm the perfect grandson? Is that the question?

- I did not ask him that. - Just pretend you did Devin.

Jesus fucking Christ. Okay, reset.

And... action.

So funny. I'm going to see my Gigi, who lives in California.

I didn't think I'd get the chance

because the film's been so busy,

but we had the day off.

And I figure I'd be a perfect grandson

and go get lunch with her.

But you're still taking me to In-N-Out, right?

I'm not getting lunch with her Devin! Alright?

I just don't want people to think I'm a total asshole.

Oh, are you gonna ask her for money?

Yeah.

A bunch.

All right. Here we are.

Whoops.

Ooh.

Devin, you would not believe how easy it was to get money from Gigi.

What happened?

Well, I told her it was my birthday.

Iowa’s a shit hole, man.

No stars, no ocean, no power lunch spots.

None of it.

I gotta tell you. No, you know... walk of fame.

No famous directors.

Look at these houses! Look at these houses.

Devin, are you getting these houses?

I bet you famous people live there.

You think I'll ever live in a place like that, Devin?

When the movie's done?

What do you think?

I hope so Terry.

Me too. Me too, big time.

I’m here for the money.

Not because I respect you, okay?

Same. - Understood.

Thank you both so much for coming back.

Alright, let's do a hug. - What?

No. - No! - Last day?

No! - It’s a last day hug.

No, Terry. - Please?

No. - Come On. Gimme a hug.

Come on, man. - Whoa!

All right. Listen up everyone. Okay?

We need to be out of this Airbnb by 2pm sharp.

And we need to leave it the way we found it.

That means filling in the holes in the walls.

No gaff tape, no garbage, no nothing.

So we have about...

an hour to get this all done.

So if you are not in this next scene,

I need you cleaning up your area,

helping other people clean up their areas,

and then getting the HELL out of this house.

Alright? Take it away, director Terry.

Alright. So I think we should take this time,

take a minute to just reflect.

What?! Terry, come on. We're ready to shoot NOW!

Yeah, let's go. - PLEASE!

Look, I just think, you know, we should take a second

to take in what we've done here.

Terry what are you stalling for? Every step of the way,

I've been keeping this production on the track,

and you've just been grabbing the steering

wheel and cranking it towards a cliff, for fuck’s sake, Terry,

we are SO close to finishing this movie.

And you just cannot get out of...

Oooooh!

What’s up guys? Yall shooting a movie here or what?

- Oh man! - Garry!

We missed you man. - Yeah missed y’all too.

Thanks, baby.

Wait...

He's counting longer than... than we counted.

Wait, Terry, is that more than $2,500?

Oh yeah. I paid him more than you.

That's not cool! - It is cool. Everything...

Everything's cool.

God, can we shoot something? Please, please. Am I crazy?

Am I the crazy one here? Can we shoot?

They’re shooting!

When can we shoot? I wanna go home.

I got three fucking kids. Jesus!

Tom's the DP.

They know that by now! They know that.

Okay, here we are. Last shot, right?

The meteor's about to come wipe out the entire planet.

But you guys are fine.

You've made your peace. - Alright, cool. Let's do it.

Alright, I'm gonna check the frames and we’re gonna get into it.

Terry, it’s a static shot. Come on man.

Checking the frames.

Looks great. - Fine.

Action! Holy shit!

- That's not the line. - Holy shit. - Whoa shit!

Whoa my water just broke! - Oh shit! - Oh my god!

Terry! - Whoa, whoa! Don’t cut! Don’t cut, dont cut!

Don’t cut, are you crazy? - Terry I have to go to the hospital!

What! - We just have to do one more scene.

It's one more scene in the movie.

We have one shot left. We have one shot!

Terry!

It's one shot. It's one scene. Come on, hun.

It's one scene. - Jesus! - I hate you.

I hate you so much. - No, we love each other!

- I can’t... - Stand there.

Stand there. - AHHHHHHH! Fine. Just, let's go.

Fine. Go, go, go. Fine. - It’s one more shot. It’s one more shot.

Ok go! - Ok pick it up! - Ok, ok, ok, let’s do it!

LET’S DO IT! - Ok we’re doing it! - Let’s go!

Okay so this is the end of the movie where...

WE KNOW!!!

Okay. You guys look great.

What’d you say? - TERRY! - CALL IT!

JUST CALL ACTION!!

Action.

The meteor. It's coming.

Yeah I don't know about you guys, but I'm okay with it.

Me too.

I'm kind of happy we did this together.

Yeah. So am I.

SCENE! LET’S GO!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Stay, stay, stay!

- WHAT?! - I just need one more. - NO!!!

That was bad.

That was bad, Garry that was bad.

Get the tennis ball. - It's a bad take from Garry!

No, use the tennis... it wasn’t me!!

You flubbed the line! - I DIDN’T FLUB THE LINE!! I did it perfectly.

You flubbed your line! - You need to go check on your wife!

SHE IS HAVING YOUR BABY RIGHT NOW!!

I'm come check on my wife...

Oh my god. I can't believe we're having a baby, Terry.

I can't believe it either. Okay, I’m gonna do these pickups guys.

What?! Are you serious?! - You can’t do that! - Yeah I have to get closeups.

You do not need the fucking closeups Terry!

I’M THE DIRECTOR! I KNOW WHAT I NEED!

Hey! It’s me, or the movie. - What? - It’s ME, or the movie Terry.

This whole time you've been saying finish the movie.

Do whatever it takes to finish the movie.

Well, that's exactly what I'm doing. - Yeah, before the baby came!

The baby is here! - It’s FOR the baby! - You need to make a choice.

Oh my god. - I'll meet you at the hospital.

I can’t. Nope. The baby’s coming.

- Let’s go, easy, breathe! - Oh my god, are you serious?!

I'll meet you at the hospital.

- Love you. - Ugh.

Hey guys! You guys ready to shoot?

We gotta do some closeups.

Come on guys, we gotta go. Let’s do it.

Let's get everyone back in position.

Don't worry. We'll shoot around Erica.

Somehow it all worked out.

Can’t say Im surprised.

I believed in the script.

I believed in the cast.

And I believed in me. I believed in Terry.

So yeah, Hulu acquired the movie and we made a ton of money.

Obviously.

So I'm currently doing a rewrite on a top secret project

I'm not supposed to talk about.

A new Terminator reboot.

It's gonna be woke.

And uh, I'm also working on a new Disney+ series.

I'm one of the directors. It's about...

Boba Fett's cousin or something.

So yeah.

It all worked out, man.

And what about Erica? How's she doing?

Yeah, she's... good.

She, uh...

we split up, she moved back to Iowa.

The... the baby’s good, too.

Awesome, man. Well... I think that's all we need.

Finally done with the doc huh? - Yeah this was the last interview. So...

Very cool, man.

You sure you don't like, want my help with it or anything?

Yeah, man. We're sure. I just wanna make it my own, so...

Yeah, I get it.

Thank you for being so understanding. - Yeah, of course dude.

So uh...

How do you think I come across in it?

Devin?

How do you think I come across in the doc?

Um...

Cut?