Original subtitles

Thank you.

Yes. Good morning.

Put it back.

Certainly.

But you'll never unload.

This is a set-up.

He's with you, isn't he? He's not with me, you idiot.

If he's not with me, he must be with you. He's not with us.

Well, if he's not with you, shoot him.

Gentlemen, please, there's no time.

In fact, you've only got 55 seconds before the police arrive.

I think we're ready, Teal.

Go.

Take a look.

This cop's all over.

Forty-five seconds.

I have a suggestion to make.

There'll be no evidence, so no prosecution.

I'll take it for you.

Interested?

35 seconds.

I don't know about you, but nothing amuses me more than an irritated

policeman.

25 seconds.

Agreed?

Oh, no, no, no, no, no!

Sir?

Teal? Oh, dear, sir.

One of them was babbling, sir, about another man.

Another man?

Yes, sir, another man. He vanished into thin air, sir.

A fourth man?

But that's impossible.

Well, well, well.

What do you mean, Teal?

Nothing, sir.

Teal?

Simon Templer, sir.

They call him the saint.

Allow me. Oh, thanks.

Ah, flying the flag, I see. Yeah, that's a future president of the United States

in there.

Well, he gets my vote.

She? Touche.

She certainly has the voice for it. But hates shopping.

What are children coming to?

Jenny, what are you doing?

It's the parents I worry about.

The unmistakable hand of the Tang Potters.

Early 8th century. I mean, look at the perfect contours, the subtle,

translucent glaze.

Count Skinowitz, tell me, where did you find them?

They were part of my late father's estate, Mrs. Cummingham, brought back to

Warsaw by my great-grandfather.

Where he got them from, I don't know.

But their provenance is indisputable.

The figures were buried with the Princess Yung Tai.

The figurines are unique, sir. You don't know how it breaks my heart to see them

go, but... Excuse me.

Extraordinary texture.

That animate glow deep inside the porcelain.

We can't afford it, but we've just got to have one.

The Adoptive Parents Association is such a good cause.

May I help you, Mr... Templer.

Yes, I'm looking for something rather special.

Special? Ah, that's just the thing.

Look, I say, do be careful. Very nice.

No price tag.

Price tag?

That's a $10,000 figurine you're holding.

Ah, that could put it a little out of my reach.

Why don't you put it down and we'll discuss it later, all right?

Do you two know each other? Yes, the Count and I went to the same finishing

school.

What have you done?

I'm most terribly sorry.

It just sort of slipped.

But that was the Princess Yung Tai and her husband. They were a pair,

inseparable. You mean this one?

That's not worth anything without the other.

Oh, well, in that case... But no!

Actually,

I was looking for something a little less delicate.

Now, just put that down. You don't know what you're doing. I wouldn't get so

worked up if I were you.

It's late 20th century Taiwan.

It's worth nothing.

A forgery?

That's an affront to forgeries. He's got a caseload of these back at the castle.

If you can call a lock-up garage a castle.

It's junk.

And that's about as Chinese as it gets.

Simon, what are you trying to do to me? You're an insult to Polish intelligence.

What have I ever done to you? Nothing personal, Sammy.

By the way, Sir Hugh sends his compliments.

Sir Hugh?

The Ming vases?

His daughter tells me you took him for 12,000.

Sure does she know?

She works at the British Museum.

My lords, ladies and gentlemen, there seems to have been a terrible

misunderstanding.

No matter.

He's all yours, Inspector Teal.

I must warn you that you're not obliged to say anything unless you wish to do

so, but what you do say may be... Of course, in daylight, I would have been

able to tell.

I suppose you had to do what you've done, but 5% of that was going to

charity. Yes, I know. So please accept this check on my behalf.

It's what Sir Hugh paid me.

You're a saint.

We've met.

Hi, how are you?

I'm fine.

Jen, would you go and wash your hands? Sure, yeah.

What's the trouble then? Somebody's stolen a baby.

Okay, Governor, yeah, I'll do that.

Now, how long would you say the baby was left unattended? The baby was not left

unattended. In that case, how could someone have taken it? I was in the

store. The baby was outside with her mother.

In other words, you don't know whether the baby was left unattended. Ask her.

Ask Mrs. Huxley.

We'll come to that in a minute.

Now, you say the pram was gray.

Dark Grey? Please, we should be looking for her.

No point in running around like headless chickens till we've got all the details,

is it?

It was her.

She let them take my daughter.

Who was pushing the pram? I was.

Well, maybe that's why Mrs. Hawksley assumed you'd taken the baby with you.

She couldn't have. It's what she said. I know, but... It's not possible.

I'm just trying to clarify what happened.

I'm telling you what happened.

I was sent into the store to get a magazine.

She left her. She allowed the baby to be kidnapped.

No one allowed Samantha to be kidnapped. No one allowed it.

No one's blaming you, Jenny.

I'm sorry.

Thank you. Is there anything else you need?

No. We've issued a full description of the pram and the clothes the baby was

wearing.

Chris, I'm sorry. I've got to go.

I've given her something. She'll sleep for a while. I'm taking her to the

country. Her mother's there.

She won't get much use here.

She may want to stay in London.

I'd rather she didn't.

Thanks for coming over. I'll show you around.

Can I see the picture?

Right.

Now, try and describe everyone you saw.

You're late.

You were on time?

Where to?

I thought you were cooking me lunch. I was.

Among other things, yes.

Oh, yes. I remember the other things.

Teal!

Get in the car.

I was just about to, sir.

I just read the charge sheet on Sammy Morris, alias Count Skienovic.

I want to know how you got on to him.

It was a tip-off.

Tip-off from who? I want some names, Teal.

Simon Templer.

Templer.

And you just went along with it on the off chance that Morris was going to turn

up? Well, he did turn up, didn't he, sir?

I know he did, Teal.

I'm aware of that.

I just want to know why you put so much faith into a known criminal.

I wouldn't exactly call him a known criminal, sir. He's a confidence

trickster. It's a kind of salesman. He just doesn't always own everything he

sells.

I'm talking about Templer, too, not Morris.

Oh.

I don't know whether you know this, but I've been after Morris for nine months.

I don't expect someone from my division to stroll down to Knightsbridge and

arrest him.

Not without having informed me, and certainly not on the word of another

known criminal.

No, of course, sir.

It's just that, uh, Templer and I go back rather a long way.

I'm not interested.

We have a kind of understanding.

Yeah, well, not anymore, you don't. This is my division.

We do things by the book, to the letter.

By the book.

Yes.

I want you in my office tomorrow morning, along with Templer's file from

central office.

First thing in the morning, Teal.

In the morning.

Yes, sir.

Simon, I've been trying to talk to you.

I'm all ears.

The Russian tiara.

Yes, I know.

It was returned to the British Museum.

And saved the exhibition from complete disaster.

Which must make you very happy.

Yes, of course it does.

But we don't... Then that's all that matters.

But we don't understand how it was found.

Surely the insurance company know.

They won't say.

Quite right.

You're being evasive.

Does that remind you of anything?

Um... I'm sure it isn't more like this.

Yes, that's right.

What's it for?

I saw it.

Where? On the side of a van.

It's a Quetzalcoatl.

Not the sort of thing you generally see on vans.

Unless you've been in Latin America and didn't tell me.

Aztec? Yes.

The god of the morning and evening star.

Katrina, you're wonderful.

I know.

Shall I slip into something more comfortable?

Yes.

A taxi.

A taxi?

Ah, hello. My name's Simon Templer.

Yes? I saw you outside Harrods this morning.

Look, whatever it is you want, believe me, this is not the time. I know.

But I think I can help.

What are you?

Another cop?

Certainly not.

So, what's in it for you?

That's a very cynical thing to say.

I'm sorry.

It's a little how I feel right now.

Imagine how the mother feels.

Listen, I know how the mother feels. Believe me.

I've been looking after Sam since she was born.

You don't look like a nanny to me.

I'm not a nanny.

So what are you?

I remember asking you the same question.

I didn't get much of an answer.

Yeah, there's a friendly face. Nothing like an oldest.

Charlie, please.

Right,

here we go.

I've gone mad. I've gone completely mad.

That is Givenchy perfume straight from the manufacturers.

And to prove that what can't speak can't lie, that sells for £35 in the shops.

And what do I want for it? I'll tell you. Here, come here.

Never mind about £20.

Never mind about £15.

Here, come here. Give me £10 for it and it's yours. No questions asked.

One for you, dear.

Thank you, love.

Have a good day.

Simon, please, you shouldn't creep up on me like that. You know I've got a bad

heart. Do you want some?

Givenchy. Well, sure, it's the kosher stuff, isn't it?

All right, so it's Jack Givenchy, the second cousin from Hong Kong. What do

you care? Take her box. She'll never tell the difference.

No, thanks, Eddie. I need some help.

Right. George?

Right! You heard what the gentleman said.

He's gone mad. He's gone completely mad.

£10 a bottle.

Everything's changed.

Two kids down the road selling Cartier watches. They spelt it with a K.

No class.

They say you used to know every trademark under the sun.

Well, I was in the trademark office for 25 years, weren't I? Until I got Nick

that time for speeding. Yes, in the getaway cabin.

All right, so I was bored. That was my trouble. What's yours?

This. I saw it on the side of a van.

I registered thousands of these in my time.

It's an import-export company, South America and Mexico. That shouldn't be

too difficult. Where do I find it?

Try the yellow pages.

Thanks, Eddie.

You must have been out of your bloody mind, both of you.

What were you thinking of? What we're always thinking of, Jeff.

Money.

We've got a system, Stephen, you know that. We've got to be careful.

Yes, but the system is a little slow.

And out of date.

Exactement. So when we just saw it there? It would have been a crime not to

take it.

Nobody saw us. That's not the point, Marie.

Where's the baby now?

She's with Lester.

You know he wants another run?

When?

Tonight. Round trip.

Tonight?

Yes, I think we can manage that.

I'll get the hell out of here.

Get rid of the pram. Get rid of everything.

Anything I can do for you?

Ah, Signor Dorado.

Geoffrey Todd, what do you want?

I'm looking for a friend.

Oh, really?

Small, bald, doesn't talk a lot.

Last time I saw her, she was in Knightsbridge.

In one of your vans.

I don't know if you're talking about... Does this belong to you?

Mrs. Dorada?

Call me.

Todd, this is Lester. What the hell's going on?

Call me now.

Adoptive Parents Association.