Original subtitles

[IN SPANISH] 1780, let's go!

Domingo, I am a foreign guest in this Iberian

penal building and you must call me "Mr. 1780".

- "Vamos", the director does not wait. - He will wait. I've waited a long time!

- Vamos! - With the "nightie" ? - Which one beats?

Ah, the robe! The director is at home, but... anyway...

You are welcome.

Well, then you leave our institute.

From today he is free with his accomplice.

One moment, director, I don't like the word "accomplice".

Calm down, José, I understand you don't like the term.

Director, he is not my accomplice.

I met him in the "plaza de toros" which was selling candy.

Since that day he has become my driver, secretary.

We know everything about him: waiter, driver,

scam and some armed robbery prior to your meeting.

Then he will know that since he met me, this rascal has

forgotten the past and devoted himself to a more noble job.

- The scam! - Why use these terms?

I would say the art of exploitation

of naive man by intelligent man.

Too bad his intelligence brought her here, Laspada.

It wasn't intelligence that brought me here, but the "carabineros".

Intelligence has made me reach the highest peaks of the profession.

Like the attempted removal of Botticelli's "The Spring"

- from the Uffizi in Florence. - It failed.

Failed because the Uffizi has a timetable.

I arrived, but it wasn't OFFICE

hours, so I found the Uffizi closed.

Laspada, you are a particular, original person.

Now that you are free, are you going to start over?

Never again, Mr. Director, will I retire to the countryside.

In the country side ? And how will she live?

- Chickens! Chickens, manager! - Good idea.

- Best wishes ! - You too.

Adios, amigo!

- Freedom is beautiful! - The countryside makes me sad.

- What campaign? - The one where we will raise the chickens.

You did not understand ! The only chickens that interest me are those from the city.

- Eva! - Paul!

- Honey, why are you here? - I heard you were going out today.

- Surprised ? - A bit'.

Let me watch you! Three years away, did you suffer?

It was hard without you. I didn't get a good shot!

- You're an irreplaceable partner. - Only as a partner? - Yup.

- Ours were just business relationships. - That's the trouble!

- For me no ! - For me yes ! - Don't start again, where can I take you?

To the post office, I have to send an urgent telegram.

- Do you already have any ideas? - More than an idea.

I have prepared the biggest hit of the century!

- Tell me what it is. - Works of art, as always!

This time the most important pawn will be a certain Scorcelletti.

- Who is he? - A great copyist.

I will have him come from Italy.

You smile.

A beautiful mysterious smile. Even more mysterious.

Cretin, does that look like Mona Lisa's smile to you?

- That's a grimace! - Master, I do what I can!

Oh yes ? For you that paranoid stupid smile is the

famous smile of the Mona Lisa? I would look at you!

I am not and I do not want to be the Mona Lisa.

If you want to copy the Mona Lisa, go to Paris, to the Louvre.

Is it written joyful here?

If you had the money, I'd be in Paris copying the Mona Lisa.

- Copy a copy and... - I don't have a copy!

I'm doing everything by heart, by ear!

I only miss the smile and modestly, not to brag...

It is necessary to know in Art all that I have the smile of the Mona Lisa here.

That's all, see?

- The smile... - Yes, yes...

- No. - What is it? - A boil. - Where is it ?

But what are you making me say? And I stupid who listen to you!

"Here" means in the skull!

- Maestro, will I do a touch-up? - For charity !

Grab it! Arrest that madman!

The Mona Lisa is neither touched nor touched up!

Before touching it, you have to go over my corpse!

I've been in this studio for 20 years and you never let me paint!

- Raise your voice? - No.

Do you even allow yourself to make gestures with your fingers?

Oh yes ? Do you make "baskets"? Silence !

In this atelier I am in charge!

The teacher, the professor, the famous Scorcelletti! Clear? Silence !

You are the idiot pupil.

Let's say... I'm going crazy!

- Who pays the studio rent? - lo!

- Who does the shopping? - lo!

- Who buys brushes, colors, etc. ? - Always me !

You see it ? You are fool! So you don't have the right to paint. Silence !

- Yeah, I hadn't thought of that. - You have to think about it!

I can not stand it anymore ! If the colors weren't poisonous, I'd eat them!

- Then I don't need. - You don't need it.

BELL - Sometimes yes. Open the door !

So you want to learn how to be a painter?

- Is Scorcelletti here? - The teacher.

I am the teacher, but if there is something to pay, I am not there!

Telegram. Sign the lady or the husband?

Not a husband! Are you blind, can't you see it?

Would I marry him? But where is your head? Who hired you?

Go get changed!

Don't mind him, he's a fool. He is stateless.

How does it come to your mind to ask who signs?

He does not sign the student, but the teacher!

Do we want to devalue this receipt?... and let's devalue it!

Do we want to deliver it to posterity or not?

- They don't look at these things in the office. - They don't! But I look at it!

- Excuse me, the tip? - Tip ?

- Seven floors! - Do you dare to ask for a tip?

Then you are greedy, greedy! Do you know what's written up here?

Scorcelletti! Do you know who Scorcelletti is?

It's me ! This signature is worth a treasure!

- Do you know what an autograph hunter would do for this signature? - No.

- He Would Shoot! - Then he kills me. - Not killing!

He "he would shoot" an exorbitant amount to have it.

This signature in two or three hundred years will be worth millions, billions!

Well, okay, you found me "good" today.

Give me 10,000 lire and let's not talk about it anymore.

10,000 lire? I have 100 lire!

Only 100 lire? All right, you owe me 9,900 lire.

As soon as you earn them, bring them to me.

Go and don't waste that signature that is worth a treasure!

- Wretch, what are you doing? - Anything !

- You're violating the Mona Lisa! - No ! - You don't have to touch the brushes!

You are a house painter! You can only touch the beard brush!

Did you understand ? Your hands to yourself !

Look at them ! Rascal!

Silence ! Let me read.

- Let me read and not look. - No !

So...

Huh?

- We really wanted it! - Good news ?

Excellent! Pack your bags! Let's go!

- Where do we go ? - In Spain, in Madrid!

- What are we going to do? - To copy the work of a great painter.

- Painter-Stop. - I do not know him.

Of course, you are ignorant, you cannot know Stop.

Stop is a great artist, he is in all encyclopedias

with the elevation photo, in profile, in all ways.

He is a painter who will have made "insignia" works! Stop, read.

"Please join me Madrid, copy important picture - stop.

- Follows money order. "- How nice! I have become an international artist.

I'm going to Spain to Madrid to work!

- In Madrid there is the Prado! - In Madrid...

- Is there a "meadow" in Madrid? - Yes. - Is there a "meadow" only in Madrid?

- Only in Madrid. - You are stupid!

Have you ever been to Villa Borghese?

That big meadow where dogs go...

Only Goya could paint such a masterful work.

Inspired by a tragic episode of the Napoleonic invasion, he

created a masterpiece of extreme moral and spiritual value

and permeated with shocking realism.

Note the originality of the composition of the two opposing groups.

Look at the firing squad group and the condemned group.

We said the condemned... admire the vigorous design...

The vigorous, intensely dramatic

design and the warmth of color...

The intense color, but not sad...

If you compare the Goya with any other painter, you will have no doubts...

- Who's the one who talks a lot? - One who can speak!

He is the famous Professor Francisco Montiel, a great scholar of Goya.

If he says that a painting belongs to Goya, no one doubts it.

If I say so, three years in jail!

- But if the painting is true... - I'm talking about a fake painting.

Stop your attention on one of the most

characteristic points of this canvas: the blood!

This blood that impregnates the soil and tinges it with tragic purple.

Do you smell the acrid smell of blood gushing from open wounds?

- The Goya even managed to paint the smell! - Teacher...

- Don't bother, miss! We said the smell of blood... - Professor!

It seems to come out of the canvas and pour onto the floor...

Beware of the Goya! back!

- Where are you going ? - He feels bad. -He looks great.

- I do not understand anything ! - I know, it's normal! Come and shut up.

Don't get crowded, you take away the air! Get away!

Gutierrez, go get a cognac!

- Professor, are you feeling bad? - Two cognacs!

- In the meantime, I'll take care of the lady! - Miss!

I will try to explain, but you will not understand anyway.

Paul, tell me the truth, I don't like working without knowing.

These are things that don't interest you.

This is the Maja Desnuda. You like ?

And you say this doesn't interest me?

- [RAUL] Come here. - That stuff interests me a lot!

- That's the Maja Dressed. - I'm interested in that!

This or that... are two famous Goya masterpieces!

Hyperbolic figures are worth!

Think what value a third Maja could have, if it existed.

Do you think it exists or not?

- He's on his way. - The third Maja? - No, the man who will make it exist.

To say: "I want you, I long for you". How do you say ?

- "I ask you". - No ! No ! No !

Te chie... te chie... With the "who", with the "who".

- With whom ? - With whom? With nobody ! With who ? With you ?

"YOU QUIERO."

TE QUIERO as GLASS, CARABINIERRO.

- Te quiero! - Very well.

To say: "kiss me a lot, that is a lot" as they say?

Ba...

Well...

- Ba... - Well...

Well? Then ?

Here!

- "Besame..." - "Besame MUCCIO".

PILE, fine.

To say instead: "soul of my heart", as they say?

"Alma de mi corazòn."

- Cora... zòn! - It's 11 o'clock. - Alma de mi... - Corazòn!

I told you ! I've been teaching you Spanish for 5 hours...

How do you want to be a painter? I don't know!

I'd take books in the face!

"Alma de mi corazòn", not CORE SON! "Corazòn"!

You have to put your tongue between your teeth. Corazòn. Pull over.

Look at me, look at the mouth. Corazòn!

- Master, you spat in my face! - You deserve it !

Young man, we have to learn Spanish,

otherwise he won't "stick" with "cows"!

We continue without a book, go!

- [SPANISH IN] Is that seat occupied ? - How?

- [SPANISH IN] Are you busy? - Well... - Thanks.

Master, what did the lady ask?

- What lady? - The one who entered now.

This ?

- You are not a lady. - Who is she?

You will be one of the equestrian circus.

We don't take care of her, let's go back to the lesson.

- "Esta muchacha me gusta mucho." - "I like this girl very much."

- "Te quiero." - "I love you."

- "Besame mucho." - "Kiss me very, very much."

- "Alma de mi corazòn." - This is easy...

[IN SPANISH] # It is the story of a love

as there is nothing else, which made me understand

all the good and all the bad. #

- Excuse me, what do you want? - [SPANISH IN] Did you tell the truth?

- I don't understand it. - He does not understand Italian, you speak in Spanish.

- It's not easy ! - [SPANISH IN] Are you not deceiving me?

I only know the words to conquer, not to reject!

- [SPANISH IN] What luck, I finally met love!

- [SPANISH IN] I love you! - Help ! Sound the alarm!

- Stop, we'll go to jail! - Better the jail!

- Muchacha, this barge man is there! - "No me gusta!"

- What do you say, master! - Get your bags! Bull is better!

- Shut up, that comes out! - Ah! She closed my foot!

- What happens ? What "passes"? - I was in trouble!

There is an angry beast! When do we get to Madrid?

- "Magnana por la magnana at 10." - You "tycoon" something?

- No ! - We have not "tycoon" anything!

- He says we're arriving at 10 tomorrow. - Thank you very much. - "De nada".

Who is Renata? She will be the beast!

We look for a free compartment,

so in the morning we change,

otherwise the Spaniards will think we are peasants.

We have finally arrived!

- Hurry up, the train starts again. - No, the train dies here!

- You kill me! - Easy, I can't do it!

- How can you not do it? - They're heavy !

- Are you ricotta? - Oh yeah !

- So you want to be a painter? - For now, I'm a porter.

- Slowly. - So you want to be a painter?

One moment. What does it have to look at?

Have you ever seen two foreign gentlemen? You go away!

- You have to help me. - They're heavy ? - Yup.

- I'll take one. - He made the effort!

Someone has to help me, call a porter.

- For two suitcases, do I call a porter? - Not two!

- Do you have the money to pay the porter? - Yes sir!

- DE FACCHINOS! - "Hello, senor".

Take... PRENDOS...

- What do you have to look at? - "Como?"

Not Como! We come from Rome!

- Como? - She said "dresser"!

Dresser? Then she is angry with you because you look like a dresser.

- "No abla espanol?" - Yes, I had the "Spanish" as a boy.

And she ? This is more stupid than you. See you later.

- [SPANISH IN] I don't understand. - Go to the madhouse!

- If he goes away, where do I go? - Let's go up ! - I can not do it !

- Mamma Mia ! - The foot! On the little finger!

LAUGHS

Master, I have a feeling that these are angry with us.

Did you notice now? They come after us from the station!

- They make fun of us! - How dare you ? They are fans.

They follow us because they understood that I am a great painter.

It's all sympathy. You'll see they'll ask for my autograph.

- [SPANISH IN] Hey, you. - You see it ?

[SPANISH IN] You have stopped the traffic, the carnival is over.

- He wants you. - Are you Italian? What is this masquerade?

Sir, you made a mistake. We are not masked.

We dressed in the Spanish style because we are in Spain.

All right, you'll explain everything to the police station.

- We are honest people! - yes! - And not me? - I do not know !

- General. - I'm not a general. - Colonel... - Not even.

I am an Italian abroad, I don't know these things!

We are here for work, at least me, he is my pupil.

Called by the Marquis of Castelviscardo, right?

He is a very good person, a gentleman, then he is a Marquis!

- We came here to paint. - Then let's go to the Marquis.

We must go there! Have you seen?

- Who shot? - lo, put that knife away.

- Against who ? - the worms!

Do you kill them with the shotgun?

My dear and naive José, try to understand.

The ancient frames have woodworms and woodworms make holes!

This frame is not ancient and has no holes. I made them myself.

They are 3 or 400 dots. Now you will take them off with this tweezers.

- Okay, but it's years of work. - Shut up!

Ancient things take centuries to do!

This is the prelude to that magnificent symphony of my piano.

Give the world a Scorcelletti and make it count for a Goya!

Can't you hear the melody of the shot organization?

The professor is already fascinated by Eva, this house,

which belonged to Goya, paid for by me regularly...

in bills of exchange that will soon go into protest, but I will leave first.

This authentic canvas, of the time, and the woodworms in the frame.

Everything is perfect, I can sleep peacefully.

You don't know who I am!

Oh Mama, what do the guards want?

- "Intercity!" - Silence ! - No silence!

We can get in ? Is the Marquis at home?

Come on.

- The Marquis of Castelmoscardo? - Yes. - Do you know these two? - No.

He sent me a telegram. I am the famous Scorcelletti.

- Ah, Scorcelletti! - He is Tobia, my pupil, let's put it this way!

- I know them, but what did they do? - Nothing, but look at the clothes.

- Why these clothes? - We are in Spain and we have conformed.

"Country you go... uniform you find!"

Marquis, look at this how he dressed!

Master! They are my guests, I will be responsible for them.

If so, that's fine. But be careful, I'm a little...

"Carabineros", then? Do you know who I am?

I am an Italian abroad! I can also have you arrested!

- Master! Excuse me... - I do not apologize, he offends!

The artists are extravagant. He accompanies the gentlemen to the door.

- Thank you. - Goodbye.

At the door and close it well!

- [TOBIA] Don't be angry, master. - They make me angry!

- Good morning. - Master, this is my wife.

Wife of him? What a beautiful wife!

Madam, my compliments. She is very pretty, but a lot!

She had good taste!

How cute she is! How did she marry a...

- Scorcelletti. - I was paying compliments to your wife.

Very pretty. I'd like to copy the picture right away, so then I'll go.

- He's not here, he's at the Prado. - [RAUL] At the Prado.

Don't get distracted, let's talk business.

I had it come to copy Goya's famous "Maja Desnuda".

What did you say before? "The painting of the painter Stop"?

- You said so! - I must have escaped.

Marquis. I wanted to tell you something, he is shy and ashamed.

- Say. - We have been on a very long journey,

here in Madrid the air is good and we have a little appetite.

- Just talk, you are my guests! - Thank you. - José!

- A little appetite. - José! - A little appetite! - José!

He is hungry! We are hungry ! We are starving!

- I understand ! - You say "what is it"!

I get it, I was calling my waiter.

- It's called "What is it"? - José. - What is he, a waiter?

José, accompany the gentlemen, let them be refreshed.

Has he already had us shot once?

- Teacher, refresh... - Ah!

You could have chosen a less stupid copyist!

Impossible, he wouldn't be as good as this.

Only those who have emptiness in their brains can perfectly copy a painting without

putting something of them into it. The more stupid a copyist is, the better he is.

- Then this is the Raphael of the copyists! - Yup.

Scalpel.

Solvent.

Plier.

Quick!

Gauze.

- What gauze did you give me? - The sterilized one. - Mah!

Binoculars.

This is the Maja of thing... of Goya. It's like mine.

- Master. - What's up ? - Are we having surgery?

You said right, it's the first time you've guessed.

Surgery. It's the Maja operation!

Why did we put the bandages on?

You are a repeat offender, you have no extenuating circumstances!

Silence !

Silence ! Who is it ?

- What did we eat today? - Onions.

You must know that the "cipollino" breath alters the colors.

According to my system, the Scorcelletti

method, I need the color to be sterilized

and BACTERIOLOGICAL pure!

Give me the lens.

What does the microbe do under the antibacterial

action of the antibiotic PENNICILLIN? He dies!

In fact, several corpses are seen.

How does that saying go?

"One microbe dead, another is made." In fact...

Who is it ? Speaking of anything else... what are you doing?

- Are you talking to me? - How do you allow me to copy my copy?

Nonsense! If the original is there, why copy its copy?

- Because he's a fool! - As he said ?

- He looked smaller. - Fool? - Yes, inquire.

How dare you? Fool it will be her!

- "You speak as you mind!" - I'm painting the Maja of the Goya!

- Leave me alone ! - That would be too comfortable!

You take advantage of it because I am an Italian abroad!

I come from Rome to copy this copy and I do not allow to nobody

to copy my copying art!

- I'm Italian too. - Really ?

- Abroad ? - Native.

Native! I thought he said... instead of native!

Native or not, stop it or I'll have the guards arrest you!

- Don't be ridiculous! - it? - Do you want to know something? - Yup.

- She doesn't make me laugh! - Oh yes ?

- Makes me "mustache"! - Shall I give you a "mustache"? - Yup !

Shall I give you a mustache? So... here it is!

- All right ? - Coward! You gave my Maja a mustache!

I make them too!

- Now I make them! - No, stop!

It has to pass over my corpse first!

I thought my copy was perfect, but her...!

Mine modestly, it was painted by an Man.

- It's wonderful, it would deceive any expert! - Challenge!

Professor, a lady wants to talk to you.

With me ? Impossible, send her away! I am very busy !

- Can not be done ! - Good morning Professor.

- It's me. - It's you, miss!

I came to thank you. Al Prado was very kind.

- It was my duty. - I want to repay.

You are a great art student and you will be pleased to have this book.

You speak of the palace of the Marquis of Cammarata. My uncle bought it.

Did your uncle buy the Cammarata palace? It's wonderful !

The Marquis of Cammarata married on 11 June 1801 Donna Gioachina, daughter

of the Duke of Osuna. The Duke of Osuna was a friend of the Goya!

I think. But my uncle bought the building because it is large and comfortable.

It is interesting to visit the studio of an artist like you!

Who is this ?

Giuseppa Baieux, Goya's wife.

She is ugly. I have heard that Goya painted beautiful women.

He saw them at the Prado! They are the two Maja!

Here they are. La Maja Desnuda and the Maja Dressed.

The Maja Desnuda is one, the Maja Dressed is the second...

but where is the third?

Excuse me, miss... the third what?

- The third Maja! - It doesn't exist, miss!

There are only two, La Maja Desnuda and La Maja Dressed.

No, there is also the Maja in Shirt.

- What are you saying? - That there is also the Maja in Shirt.

I'm surprised you don't know.

Of course I don't know! It's not true !

Who told you, excuse me, such nonsense?

Nobody told me, I read something a long time

ago where there was talk of this painting.

It was a book, a newspaper, what?

It was a handwritten piece of paper that I found

in the library while leafing through a book.

In his palace library?

Why do you want me to make a shirt for you?

- The reason does not concern you, I pay you! - Ah! Do you pay me?

Do you think that with vile money you can

buy the conscience of a great artist like me?

- Not an artist! - Careful, Marquis. - You are a copyist!

- You're underestimating the copyist. - It's not true.

You have underestimated him, dear Marquis!

If a copyist were to create, any

scruffy painter could copy the copyists!

- Where will we end up? - Where is it ?

- I'll ask you! - Tell her!

- Master... - Get this stuff off!

- The Marquis says I must pose. - I said it.

- She is not beautiful ? - I'll tear it! - Stop!

- It's precious, it's from the Goya era! - This ? - Yup.

- Authentic? - Sure.

- You hear it. - Thing ? I don't know if it's him or the shirt, but you can feel it.

Dear Marquis, why does he want to wear Maja Desnuda's shirt?

- If he had said to take it off .. .- It's time to tell the truth.

I have to inherit a large sum!

- Like ? - From a very fearful aunt.

If my aunt sees Maja Desnuda in the house, she will defeat me.

If, on the other hand, he paints the shirt...

No ! The Maja in Shirt is a blasphemy! And I don't swear.

But the Goya is dead!

He is dead, but I am alive! I'm alive, do you understand?

- I'm the copyist here! - Yup !

I would like to see this Mr. Goya

copy a Maja as I copied it!

Everyone is able to do, copying is difficult!

I would like to see Mr. Goya. This Goya!

They tell me... the Goya!

Go over there!

- Here is the palace. - Shall we start the search right away?

- No, I need to talk to my uncle. - All right. - I'll phone you.

Lightning the sky!

Master, don't make me angry, do you paint the shirt or not?

I don't make the shirt, I don't make it, no!

- And I don't pay it! - Really ? Have you heard ?

- Really ? - Yup ! - Then I'm not going away!

The food is good and the lady... too.

- The lady has nothing to do with it! - I know, but it's good!

- Insists! - Yes, the lady is good.

- Thank you that we are abroad! - Otherwise ?

- Otherwise... - What?

The lady is good, layman!

- The lady is good! - She is good yes!

- "Woh" if the lady is good! - It's good !

She's good... what's that got to do with you?

Do not make appreciation in the house of others!

- You said so! - I am the master!

For me she is good, you are the student and for you nothing is good!

Oh yes ! Oh yes ! She said she doesn't pay me!

I'll show you! Take the paper and write!

- You wrote ? - No. - What did you write? - Anything !

What do you write if I haven't told you anything?

Now let's do the invoice for the Maja. Write: invoice.

- With a capital "F"! - Yup.

No ! I changed my mind.

That's an animal and I capitalize "F"?

Lowercase "F"! FATURA!

- For this... "For" with the "P". - Sure.

Sometimes, being abroad one can get distracted.

- What happens ? - That imbecile refuses, he will ruin everything.

The professor had believed in everything, it was enough to find the painting.

- Shirtless? - No.

- Have you tried to insist? - I've tried everything.

I was hoping he was stupid, but not like that! I won't be able to convince him.

Wait, I'll try.

- Colors, brushes and solvents? - Yup.

- Did you put any palettes? - No. - Put it on.

How much it does ?

150 thousand.

Few! Few! Make 300 thousand!

- It's expensive ! - Don't you consider "dear Spain"?

> Dear teacher! -Who is he?

Sorry if I made you wait.

Those 150 thousand lire, cash them in!

- Here I am, I'm ready. - To do what ?

To pose for her. My husband told me she missed the model.

- As a model am I okay? - "Wow"!

You can also stay in this way. Mrs...

pre... pre... we specify.

I told your husband that on principle I would not paint it.

Obviously I misunderstood. It is useless that he has put on the shirt.

- No, it's very useful! The shirt fits her. True? - Yup.

- You shut up ! - If he doesn't want to paint, I'll go get dressed.

- No ! Listen to me, let's think. - Let's think. - Good.

She wouldn't paint the shirt for anything in the world.

Exact. For nothing in the world!

Not even if...

- Master. - What's up ?

VOICE NOT AUDIBLE

I understand ! I understand ! Lady, you repeat and articulate the words well!

Yup ! Yup ! Really ?

Madam, this changes things!

- Tòbia! - Tobia! - Tòbia or Tobìa is the same!

Palette, brushes and colors! The picture must be finished.

- The picture is finished. - The shirt is missing!

- But he doesn't go there! - And who says that?

- You said that for nothing... - There are things and things!

- True? - Sure, master. - You go !

Here it is.

That little foot!

Goya's little hands...

Let's see... yes!

So !

How happy I am!

- Eva, what is said, is it said? - What is said, is said.

- Word of honor? - Word of honor.

He said yes! I copy her a shirt that the so-called Goya...

she would never have dreamed of it!

They tell me the Goya!

Stop !

Very well ! It was difficult, but finally...

- How did you convince him? - It was easy.

I promised him a gallant adventure.

You make me look good with that!

You are my husband as a joke!

Yes, but he'll think I'm a real cuckold.

Don't worry, I had an idea to get rid of him.

- Which ? - I'll have him arrested.

- Like ? - I've set a trap.

- Tell me. - I made an appointment with him at "Le due castanets".

That place is frequented by Pablo, a fiery bullfighter.

He'll start a fight between them and call the police.

FLAMENCO MUSIC

SING THE "GRANADA" SONG IN SPANISH

[SPANISH IN] The first bull I kill, I dedicate it to that girl.

[SPANISH IN] Pablo, the first bull is reserved.

[IN SPANISH] Then the second.

Olé!

- Do you like it, master? - Very.

I am thrilled with these quaint places.

- Good evening, lady. - Good evening.

- Good evening. - We want to eat, dance, drink. - One moment.

Not here FRONTAS A TODOS LO MUNDOS, do you have a SEPARETTAS?

- [SPANISH IN] I don't understand. - Me neither.

Let's sit here first, it's thrilling... fascinating.

- Follow me, please. - Yes... yes!

[SPANISH IN] How wonderful! Cancel the reservations,

tomorrow I dedicate all the bulls to her.

- Careful, she is with a man. - I don't care, she looked at me.

Waiter, listen... Do you have a room?

- Huh? - A room. - [SPANISH IN] I don't understand!

A room. I can't scream, the lady hears me.

- A room. - I understand, a "hospedaje".

How dare you? Go away, scoundrel!

What ways, she is sending me to the hospital!

She was telling you "hotel". In Spanish it is called "hospedaje".

Really ?

I would like to have a chronic illness to stay seven,

eight, ten, twelve years with her in the hospital!

FLAMENCO MUSIC

- May I introduce myself ? Pablo Segura. - The famous bullfighter?

- Have you heard? - No, I was "above the thought".

- The gentleman is Pablo Segura. - Are you sure it's Segura?

- Of course ! - Be safe...

that I don't give a damn, "nada de nada"!

- How dare you? - We don't need bullfighters.

Come back another day, but not Friday, it brings me bad luck.

I wanted to know if she wanted to dance this flamenco with me.

- Very gladly! - No ! Here it is misunderstood!

The bullfighter needs a bull, but I don't play the part of the bull.

The lady does LA FLAMENGA with me!

- You don't know how to dance flamenco! - But I'm a copyist.

She dances and I copy. I copy it all! I make the FLAMENGATA!

Are we meant for each other when can we be alone?

Now, but that must be eliminated.

- What did I do ? - You tired me out! - One moment !

- [SPANISH IN] Man, you are dead. - Let's think.

- Defend yourself! - One moment !

Pablo Segura doesn't think... he kills!

[SCORCELLETTl] Pranks of hands, pranks of villains.

- Defend yourself! - Don't be a bastard!

[SCORCELLETTl] This attacks!

- I'm an only child ! She compromises herself! - Defend yourself!

- How is it from the record... - How is it from the record?

- As per the minutes... - I don't know, what is it like? - You don't have to know.

- He asked me. - I didn't ask, shut up.

- So I misunderstood? - Shut up, he misunderstood.

- "We were passing in front..." - Exactly.

- "..A lady shouted that a fight had broken out." - Exactly!

- "We found the famous matador..." - Exactly.

- "..Fighting with a thug." - Exactly. - No !

Thug will be her. I'm not a thug!

I am the famous Italian copyist Scorcelletti, you remember it!

She too, otherwise what will she say to posterity?

- Hey! Hey! Hey! - Don't raise your voice!

- You don't raise your voice! - We're not in the square here!

- We are in front of a commissioner! - It's me ! - Exactly. - Shut up !

- You sit down. - You sit down.

- No, her! - No, her! - Please take a seat and you too!

You have to talk to me!

- And who am I talking to? - With me ! - Who am I talking to ?

- You talk, I listen to you! - Can I say what I want?

- You speak ! - Anything? - You speak !

- How are you ? - Good. - Everybody all right at home ? - What does it say?

He said to speak and I joined...

Don't make me lose my patience!

- That's what I'm saying. - Don't make me repeat it!

I eat it!

- What does he do ? - She's playing checkers!

I want to know why she "got into a fight"!

I have not attacked neither Brig, nor curtain!

He wanted to attack with the lady, but with me he doesn't attack!

- Tell the defendant! - That's not true, I was just looking at it.

She heard? The accused is confessed, on record!

- No verbal. - I demand that...- him Sit down!

- Looking is not a crime. - While he looked at her, he thought her!

- Thinking is not a crime. - But how did he think? - I do not know.

- I know ! Can I tell? - Say it!

- I say ? - Say it! - Commissioner, he thought her naked!

What does a tragedy do? He is calm!

- It's true ? - No, this man is crazy!

- I'm crazy ? - Yup ! - I'm crazy !

- While the two of us were talking, do you know where he was looking? - No.

Stop ! To me the eyes.

- Who is this ? - My wife.

- We talked and he looked at his wife and thought her naked! - Thing ?

- How dare you? - It's not true ! - Prove it! - Sure !

- We feel ! - So, really...

He can't prove it, he doesn't have an alibi!

She looked at my wife and thought she was undressed.

Optimistic ! He thought her naked!

It's not true ! I don't know his wife!

- So what was she thinking? - I was thinking about the bull I have to kill tomorrow.

- How did you think about the bull? - Like a bull!

Naked! He heard ? Record!

- But the bulls are naked! - There are also those dressed.

- Where are they ? - She...

If you allow him to think of his wife, he is a dressed bull.

- Now he's sitting down, he's a sitting bull. - Thats enough !

Stop thinking about my wife, do you understand?

I don't know her lady!

Dear, I was passing this way... Pablo Segura!

- Do you know him ? - Of course, everyone knows Pablo Segura.

- I meant... do you know each other? - I've never seen it!

- Dressed! He is used to seeing her naked! - No !

I don't care about his wife "nada de nada"! - It means naked of naked.

- Neither naked nor dressed. I do not care ! - He was not polite!

- I meant I don't look at her. - Do you mean that she is bad?

- I'm not bad, I was also a stripper! - Catherine!

- They are slander. - What is she doing!

I can immediately deny these slanders!

Catherine, what are you doing? Get dressed immediately!

You don't have to look at it, go! Arrest this man!

You can't arrest me, leave me alone!

You get there, dear. It is necessary to proceed with order and method.

- So, we saw these and these. - This also ?

- Uncle, don't mess! - Sure !

- Did he find something? - No, but I'll search everywhere if necessary.

It is necessary in the interest of culture, of course.

- And yours too. - In my ? Why ?

You are lucky enough to own the house where Goya lived, worked,

created and wept! Wouldn't you like to find a masterpiece by him?

[RAUL] It would be fun.

- What have I done ! - Nothing wrong.

Wait, what is this?

It's a miracle ! Here is the proof that the Maja in Shirt exists!

- I said so! - Look at the case!

It's incredible ! La Maja in shirt is hidden within these walls!

But where ? Where is it ? Listen, listen!

"Madrid February 4, 1798, I receive

from Mr. Francisco José Goya,

20 shields for the execution of the door of the secret passage. "

- Secret Passage ! - Yeah.

".. Secret passage where the Maja in Shirt is kept!"

La Maja is here! In the secret passage!

Impossible, I have never seen a secret passage in the palace!

- Maybe behind a panel, a shelf. - Impossible!

- Uncle, why don't you want to believe it? - These are fictional things.

I've read about disappearing panels, mysterious

doors, frames that hide buttons, revolving libraries.

- Buttons? - Yup.

- Libraries? - The library is there, but the button is missing.

This... what is this?

- This. - Where is it ?

- It's a button! - I do not believe.

- Press? - No.

- Maybe pulling... - Pulling?

Did you see that you had to pull?

The secret passage! Shed some light!

It is written here: "20 shields for the construction of the secret door!"

- The Maja in Shirt! - Here is the light.

- La Maja! - [RAUL] He's not here.

Here she is ! La Maja is there!

- There is the third Maja! - He was right ! - I want to see it better.

Yup ! I discovered the Maja in Shirt!

I discovered Goya's ignored masterpiece!

His presence here is a surprise, master. It's impossible.

Instead it is possible, dear!

He believed I had forgotten the lady!

- José, is your master at home? - Yes, I'm going to call him.

Tell him I came to sign the picture I did yesterday.

- What painting? - The Maja in Shirt!

- Was the Maja in his shirt? - Yup ! - in the shirt.

- Did we come to sign the picture? - It's a trivial excuse!

How do you want to be a painter? You do not understand anything !

I don't want to make the husband understand that I'm here for his wife.

Sublime, perfect! It is the most beautiful Goya I have ever seen!

- Mr. Marquis! - What's up ? Excuse me, professor.

Look at the unmistakable brushstrokes, the cuts of light!

It is the hand of the Goya! I would recognize it among a thousand!

- Is back ? -He wants to sign the picture. - So he ruins me!

- Raul, shall we kill him? - Be quiet ! - You never listen to me.

We have to go close to the Code, not damage it!

- Otherwise they hit our heads with CAROPA. - "The garrote"!

José, the death penalty is no joke!

- What happens ? - Your plan failed.

Scorcelletti is free, stay here!

- Then everything goes wrong! - I do not believe.

We could get the jealous husband in with the gun.

- What do you say ? - Yup !

- We'll scare him and he'll disappear forever. - I'll handle that.

Master, you are reckless. Forget it, there are so many women!

Are there any? Yes, but they don't "fit"!

- There are no women? - Ignorant, learn Italian.

"There are" is the voice of the verb CENESTARE.

Instead "stay there" is the imperfect of the verb make out!

- Why, is she there? - If she is not there, was I here?

But how do you want to be a painter? I still haven't figured it out!

You should have seen it! With her green eyes, her fiery red hair,

- blue dress and yellow shoes. - How did she go? - "In white".

Master, sorry for what happened tonight!

- I was afraid that you had left! - Were you afraid?

Silly!

Because she didn't watch me.

If she had, she would have noticed that I'm a one-piece man!

Lady, I always arrive at the goal. Maybe naked, but I get there!

Master, my husband is suspicious. It is dangerous to stay here.

That, if he gets angry, he sees red!

He meant: "If he sees red, he gets angry and I'm... Dolores!"

Don't joke!

Let's meet outside, do you know "La posada de la chica"?

I do not take the "butts" with

cutlery, but with two fingers or a stick!

- In Spain "chica" means girl! - Really ?

So I stay in Spain and collect all the "ciche" of the street!

How are these "cutlery for the chiche" used?

The "Posada de la chica" is a night club. We will be safe there!

- I'm going to change and we'll be there. - I'll change it right away!

- I have to change. - What do I do? - Wait at the hotel.

I have to go ! But how do you want to be a painter?

TANGO MUSIC

- A booth? Sit down, sir. - Is the place safe?

The lady has a very jealous husband!

Sure, we are equipped. Of course it is a question of price.

- I'll pay any amount. - You will have a husband-proof booth.

Good !

- Finally after a lot of work, tonight we have fun! - Like ?

- We're having fun tonight. - Who ? - We. - We ? I enjoy it!

- I have an appointment! - Yes, but there are so many "cows"!

Young man, calm down! Understood ?

Casanova has arrived! But do me the favor!

- Why did I come? - To pay for the taxi!

- A TV ! - So you can guard the entrance.

She-she will immediately notice the eventual arrival of her husband. - Yeah!

- Where am I running away? - There is no need to escape, we are organized!

Just make the lady sit on this

sofa and press a button, this.

- Done ! - Very ingenious, I like it. - Thank you.

Once the danger has passed, she can press the button again and everything goes back to normal.

- Sit down, sir. - What a beautiful restaurant!

- Is this silver? - Excuse me.

- Will I serve a cold dinner as soon as the lady arrives? - Yup.

But let it warm up. I like cold dinner hot.

- The cold in my stomach hurts me. - The wine, Port?

- Ports. - I mean, Porto?

- Brings! - Should I bring the Port?

Who must send, send and who must bring leads! Ports!

- Bring the port too. - Okay, sir.

- An Italian gentleman is waiting for me. - I get it, in that sitting room over there.

Please, take a seat.

Nice lady. Finally, I am on fire!

- It's true, it's a little hot. - No... Ah!

I meant, I burn with desire.

- He's impatient, I just got here! - Exactly.

We are here for our adventure... let's venture!

Permission?

- Give me a kiss. - Master!

Forward. Forward !

Who is it ? What does it bring? Bring the Port? Why are you wearing it?

- Should I serve cold dinner? - Who told you to come in?

- I asked for permission. - He had to wait for me to say: forward!

- She said it. - I said "come on" to the lady.

- But the lady was already inside. - How dare you?

I can tell back and forth to whoever I want!

You go back! Get out!

Go outside! Fool!

Excuse me, madam, it's long, but it's "round"!

- Finally in my arms! - My dove, my soul!

- Ah! - What's up ? - My husband ! - That's him!

I am embarrassed, this is the first time that...

Poor ! She is down! Do you want to have a drink? So she pulls herself up!

- Now I "pull it up"! - Thank you teacher.

NOT AUDIBLE VOICES

- He's coming ! It will kill us! - Do not be afraid !

Who is this?

- Here it comes! - I found you, cheater!

- How dare you? - Excuse me, I thought it was my wife.

Thanks, she really wanted us!

Why did she turn like this? Come back as before. She was so pretty...

- Shut up ! There is my husband ! - Then she's not her!

- Where did she come from? - From the wall.

The one who was here, where did she go? We don't play jokes!

What is she doing? Did she put a muzzle on me?

- You do not enter like this! You are a villain! - I'm sorry.

- It was a misunderstanding, forgive me. - I forgive you, go away!

There was an exchange.

Dear lady, I lose in the exchange!

Lady, you are bad! The one before she was cute, fragrant!

- You are not a knight! - I'm not a knight and I'm not a commander!

- Get up and go away! - I can not !

She does not want? Then I call the manager and make a scandal!

Here we change the cards on the table!

- Rather ! Women on the table! - I beg you! - Do not touch me !

- Director! - No !

- Master, come here. - She is back!

- I was here... - I discovered you, cheater!

- Sorry. - Who is she? What does she want?

There is a misunderstanding. One moment ! She was in the other booth!

- I ? No ! - Yet I saw it.

You saw my sister.

- Dressed the same? - We have the same tastes, we are twins.

- Are you both dating in the booths ? - What do you want?

- Nothing... what a family! - Don't make compliments!

- "Every limit has a patience!" Get out, get out! - Sorry.

Nosy! Nuisance! Can't you rest easy?

Why, when she went from there, didn't her sister come from here?

- [EVA] It was still me. - Who is there from there?

- The wife of the one who got out. - The cuckold's wife! - Yup.

She is coming back!

- Mamma Mia ! - Soon !

Shall we play the balls?

- Faithless! - You are obsessed!

- I thought my wife... - I already told her your wife isn't here!

- I do not understand ! She weighs my head! - It's natural...

- It's obvious ! - I saw it in the other booth!

You must have seen my twin.

- I surprised you... - Ah!

Madam, he is not her husband!

- She passed out. - Who is he?

- Nuisance, intruder and snoop! - Go away !

Sorry ! Come inside!

Scorcelletti is shouting from there, what's going on?

- There's this damn revolving wall... - What wall?

Mrs. Eva! Mrs. Eva!

The ugly again! She insists!

She insists!

Up ! She passed out!

Do the rackets faint too? What world do we live in?

Come on, beautiful! Come on, beautiful!

Come on, wake up! Wake Up !

Get out, get Signora Eva over here!

There is my husband ! Let me stay here!

Her husband has gone away. Get Eva back here!

- Not by the door, you open the wall! - Thing ?

- You open the wall! - I'm not a bricklayer! Are we kidding?

Don't make me violent, I call the DOG CATCHER.

I came here to stay with Mrs. Eva, we love each other!

You were there!

- My husband ! - I'll kill you!

SHOOT

- I'll kill him! - Give me the revolver!

- Leave me! - Let's not mess with guns!

- Don't be afraid, I don't look! - How dare you?

- Can I dress up? - Those are for "bailar"!

- So this? - "Tampoco" this!

Tell Mr. Tampoco I need it because I'm a poor wretch!

Back ! I am Mr. Alonzo and I have to wash the shame with blood!

Stop!

SHOOTING

- The shame is washed away! - Did he kill him? - Yup.

The honor of the Alonzos is safe! I'm at your disposal.

Poor teacher, it's our fault.

It was an unexpected but fortunate complication.

Calm down, gentlemen! Let's go to the dressing rooms.

NOT AUDIBLE VOICES

- They sold your painting for 200 million and left. - No !

- That's it! - 200 million my painting?

- Read on. - It's true !

Well done! These "Maja" make it!

I didn't think I was worth that much. 200 million! Strawberry trees!

- I have an idea... don't tell me. - I'm not talking!

I say, "don't tell me" to say, it's an interlayer. Let's go to the Prado.

DANCE MUSIC

Ladies and gentlemen, a moment of silence.

Mrs. Harrison has to tell you something.

Finally you can admire my new purchase, the Maja in Shirt!

This way.

Marquis, he made me happy by selling me this wonderful painting.

It is not my merit, but of Professor Francisco Montiel.

The credit is not mine, but only the Goya!

- Goya! - If I'm not wrong.

Start with doubts! We take the check and leave. Distract him.

Professor, I want to teach you a new dance.

- Madam, shouldn't the notary come? - He's waiting for us in the sitting room.

Money is the last thing, the important thing is to sign the deed.

NOT AUDIBLE VOICES

- Remember one of Botticelli's Graces. - what do I remind you?

- Professor, do you want to dance? - I understand perfectly well.

Is that so?

- I am happy to meet you again, do you remember me? - Of course.

I've been looking for her all over Madrid, but this time she won't escape me.

- Professor, this is a friend. - Pablo Segura, the matador!

- Does he want to dance with me? - No, this is already the professor's.

Excuse me, I couldn't talk over there.

Pablo, I like you very much, but unfortunately this is not the time.

Why ? You said I'm a friend, but I want to be more!

- I'm in love with you ! - Now I can't leave the professor.

- I can't explain now. - No ! From now on you will stay with me!

Stop !

- It must be here. Look at the number. - Yup.

Off with that cart! The service entrance is behind.

Excuse me, monsignor. We are not the laborers of the butcher or the milkman.

- We brought some paintings to the lady. - Paintings ? - Yup.

- Is this the lady who bought the Maja in Shirt? - Yup.

- We brought a stock... - The stock and the cod! Shut up !

I brought the cod... you see it?

I wore the Maja in Underpants, in Bra, in Bikini,

- and other smaller "majettas". - Paintings of the Maja!

- Yup ! - The lady will be happy!

Me too ! The lady pays these paintings 200 million each!

I have 6! 6 times 8 is 48! 480 thousand lire!

- No ! Master, can I say something? - Yes, don't tell me.

- I have to say. - Yes, don't tell me! Speaks !

- One billion and two hundred million! - I got it ? - You said 480 thousand!

- 480 thousand lire in advance! - Forget it !

No, you have to say these things! Excuse me, monsignor, you are stupid.

- I'm going to tell the lady. - No ! It would spoil the surprise!

- We go in... - We put the "Maje" in line...

The lady puts on the "maje"... you will see what a surprise! Help me.

Sorry to part with such a masterpiece for money.

The vile money! But that's life, lady.

To you.

- If you want to sign the check... - Wait a minute. First the deed.

- I sign the deed. - I have to read it. - I trust. - It wouldn't be regular.

So...

[TOBIA] Easy! I don't understand why it runs!

Dear sir, I have to do other things.

- He feels bad ? - No ! No, no!

I had a hallucination.

- No ! - You don't like what I wrote?

Fine, but I feel bad. I have to get away for a moment.

- It is not possible to interrupt the reading. - Let's start again later.

[IN ENGLISH] Excuse me, I'll be right back.

Return ! I'll go for a moment... this is a carousel!

The Marquis is strange!

- Have you seen? - Yes, over there!

Then he is not dead! Why ? Dear teacher!

- Hello ! - What are you doing here ? - And you?

- What did he come to do? - You sold my Maja for 200 million

and I said to myself: "These false Maja make it"!

But now let's talk about her... how is the lady?

Don't tell me, don't tell me! How is she? Do not tell me !

- Do not tell me. How is she? - Do I have to tell? - It's an interlayer.

- She is fine and she is here. - Really ?

- Would you like to say hello? - Maybe ! Are you sorry? - No.

I put the paintings in place to surprise the billionaire and come back.

- José, take the teacher to the lady! - Immediately !

[SUBHEADING] Stupid, that's an excuse. Make it disappear.

- If you want, I'll kick him right away. - There are people here.

Take it out.

"Out" ? I understand ! Long last !

José, accompany him. See you later !

- Have you seen the Marquis's niece? - No...

Alt! What is this mess?

This Maja was painted by the same author as the Maja in Shirt.

Don't insult the Goya!

- The Maja in Shirt was painted by Scorcelletti. - Who ?

Scorcelletti, the great Italian copyist.

- It is not possible ! - but yes!

He painted it on the order of the Marquis of Castelmoscardo.

Stop with your hands!

The Marquis of Castelmoscardo! I understood everything !

- Permission! - Excuse me, professor.

I was duped by an adventurer

who pretended to be in love with me!

I have mistaken any copy for a Goya! What will they say about me now?

Stop there!

- I have only one solution left. - Which ?

You will know!

Power !

Weighs. Now that I've got the rope and the stone, what do we do?

- A good game. - Can't we go to the lady first?

- No, it's better right now. - Yup.

- There is a well back there. - A well ? Wow!

- Now I'll put the stone around your neck and throw you in. - Really ?

Is this a game? He puts the stone around my neck and throws me in!

What laughter! It's beautiful !

He ?

Cursed ! Come here, I want to throw you in the well!

- Sorry, a mishap. Shall we sign? - One moment !

- We're not done reading. - No ? - We have to start over.

- In front of her... - "In front of me..."

Do you really want to throw me in the well? I've never been to the wells!

This is a foreign well, I'm used to the Italian ones!

Ah !!!!

Help ! Hey, the ones up there!

Call the fire brigade, I'm drowning! I'm in the well, here it stinks!

"..Read, approved and undersigned."

- I sign the deed and the lady signs the check. - No, lady first.

- Thank you. - One moment.

The phone rings!

- Hello? For her. - For me ? Hello?

Hello, Raul?

I fixed everything. I threw it in the well! You're happy ?

Very happy! Good ! Good boy !

Good.

Wait!... she hung up.

I have to get away for a moment. Meanwhile I take the check...

- No, first you have to sign the 4 copies and the 4 codicils. - Here we drown!

- Who is drowning? - We drown, checks, codicils...

- If you want the check, you have to sign. - Okay, I'll be right back.

- I sign and collect. - All right.

- Ah! - What are you doing here?

I arrived before her!

They threw me into a well and now she had to fall on me too!

- I wanted to commit suicide! - Kill yourself! Nobody forbids it!

What does she do? Help ! She is crazy! She is crazy!

José made a mistake, he threw Scorcelletti into the well.

- Is alive ? - Yes, but she is in the well! It must be saved.

- How do I do it alone? - I can't, they're signing the check.

If Scorcelletti dies, we all end up with the rope here, even you!

Eva, that door to the garden, go to the well. Help me, save me!

- We are waiting ! - Here I am. Shall we sign?

- What is this stuff? - Good evening, Marquis! - Another Maja!

- What's this ? - Another Maja by Scorcelletti. - Be quiet !

- My teacher, Scorcelletti! - his teacher!

[What do I do, do I faint? Yes, I save time.]

- Who is Scorcelletti? - A great teacher!

- This Maja is not in a shirt, but in a bathing suit! - Exactly.

- Who is this Scorcelletti? - Scorcelletti ? - Who is he?

Are you still feeling bad?

She wants to kill herself, but I don't! I want to save it!

Now that I was becoming a millionaire by selling the Maje!

- Like ? Do you make the Maje? - Yup.

Modestly it's me... I'm the MAJARO!

Allows? Scorcelletti.

- Who do I have the honor with? - With the king of idiots.

I would have put my hand in the fire! Help !

- Master, is he alive? - Luckily she came! We are almost alive!

With me there is a professor!

Professor Francisco? What are you doing there?

Anything ! I don't want to be saved by an adventurer!

By whom does he want to be saved? I'll hit you on the head!

- What are you doing ? - Quick, help me!

Finally it mounts!

Do you laugh? Didn't he want to commit suicide? Are you happy to come up with me?

Yes, as soon as we go out, I have her arrested.

She is a bastard! Eva saves us and she wants to report her?

- What are these rumors, the echo? - It's me, Scorcelletti!

Scorcelletti? That rascal from the police station?

- She will never come back up! - [EVA] Stop!

- Stop ! - Help !

Are you crazy ? Do you want to ruin me?

- What are you doing ? - I said you shouldn't trust that!

Joker!

Dear, I don't care! He pulls up!

I would like to believe you, but swear you only love me!

I swear to you, but he saves that poor fellow.

Okay, but you won't see it after!

- No ! - Shut up!

- Shoot! - No !

- Is heavy ! - There are two of them! - Two?

[SCORCELLETTl] Is this the obligatory stop?

- Who's the other? - The professor. Soon !

- Another suitor! - No !

Let's go swooping! We sink! Help !

- He is sleeping. If it's the heart, better not move it. - I'll take care of moving it.

- This is the Harrison mansion, please, the police. - What are you doing?

Madam, this is a scam, I called the police.

- Why ? - The Maja in Shirt is a fake.

- A fake ? - Yup !

Such a distinguished man! So serious!

He had the style of my first husband, the spirit of the second,

- and the bearing of the third. - Three husbands? Why not four?

- When my friends in Los Angeles know! - No !

- Do not move ! - I'm moving!

Lady, even if I die from electrocution, I will speak!

- Nobody will be able to condemn me when we know why! - Why ?

- Yeah, why? - I'm not saying that, lady, because...

Because reserve is the first virtue of a gentleman.

If you forget, I will tell you everything.

- The first time I saw her in Doville... - Never been.

- Maybe in Monte Carlo. - Yup !

When I saw her I immediately wanted to know her, adore her.

- But she tried to scam me. - Do not use these terms.

It was an innocent trick. i love beautiful things.

Will you let me call you Gloria?

- Please. - Why do you pray to me?

If I had been a poet, I would have written verses for you!

But I don't know how to write and so I recreated the beauty...

how from your beauty I would recreate our lives together!

- Gloria, tell me something. - Raul!

- No, for heaven's sake! - Marry me or I'll throw myself in the well!

No ! What does he do ? We are already too many! We are full !

- Okay, I'll do as you want! - Can I believe you?

What's up, are there any obstacles?

[EVA] I couldn't love the professor, he has an idiot face!

- He is angry with her. - [PABLO] And the copyist looks like a moron!

- This is for you. - Mr. bullfighter... Prrr!

[PABLO IN SPANISH] Dear, soul of my heart, I love you.

This I did not expect.

Bad, bad, perverse!

"Who said woman, said damage!"

But go and die killed! How dare you laugh?

There are those two over there. They are right, poor people.

Better this than nothing.

- Madam, the police are on the line. - Police ? Pass it to me.

- Gloria... - Yes, I called.

It was a mistake, sorry.

All right.

- [ENGLISH] Thank you, my dear. - Raul.

- Professor, let me explain! - No explanations!

I have to explain to the owner of the villa that I painted the picture.

- A vulgar copyist! - Vulgar it will be you, teacher from scruff!

- I am the greatest copyist in the world! - Shut up or I'll kill you!

- I don't care, my life is destroyed! - I care about mine!

Happy?

Mrs...

OVERLAPPING VERSES

This is something very serious, my expertise!

- I know, he was wrong. - He knows ? - [RAUL] You know.

- Do you know that the Maja in Shirt is not from Goya? - Sure. - He knows everything!

- I'll pay for it even if it's a copy of... - Scorcelletti, here.

It's absurd, 200 million for a copy of Scorcelletti!

What does she care if she wants to give me 200 million?

- I do what I want with my money. - Of course, right?

- There is a small detail. - Don't tell me. Tell me, lady.

- I won't pay 200 million. - Do not tell me. Tell me, lady.

Do you want me to pay my husband 200 million?

Dear !

- You and... - Yeah, I'm married.

- Very well. - I had the same idea.

Now that everything is in place, that everything is settled, the party goes on!

- Are we moving to the dance hall? - With pleasure.

- [EVA] Shall we go too? - [PABLO] Come on, dear.

Did you understand ? So I worked for nothing! Well no ! No !

And I ? My honor, my reputation, my career!

This is the reward for being honest people!

The crook found the crazy billionaire

and the other one the foolish bullfighter.

In this world only dishonesty pays!

For men like us there is only one thing left, suicide!

He said well, he said well! Suicide.

He decided? Will he commit suicide with me?

To who ? Are you stupid?

Does a great copyist commit suicide like this? Let's not joke!

You said well that in this world you have to be dishonest!

Oh yes ? Oh yes ? Do they want us to be dishonest? We adapt!

Teacher,

with his authority and, modestly, with my skill, we

we can make a mountain of millions! But shut up, huh?

Really ?

But at our age...! If we were 20...!

Professor, with millions you always have 20 years!

- Do you say? - 20 years ! Of course !

20 years !