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What I'm about to tell you now is only what the mountains have told me.

They say that many a war was waged at the foot of these mountains.

Man slaughtered man brutally. Blood was shed.

So much blood was shed that the mountains could sleep no more.

In the end, the mountains' beloved clouds took flight.

The mountains were heartbroken and began to weep.

One day, they say, a white bird kept circling the mountains.

The highest mountain seized the bird and asked, "What are you doing here, bird?"

And the bird said, "I'm looking for somewhere to build a nest."

The mountain said, "Go to the plains and build a nest there."

The bird replied...

"No. The plains are ablaze with your fires. I can't build a nest there."

The mountain said, "Then go to the ocean."

The bird said, "The ocean, too, is simmering with your fire."

"Then try underground," said the mountain.

The bird said, "I can't live there with your thunderous roar."

So the mountain asked, "Where do you want to build a nest then?"

The bird said, "I want to build a nest on your summit."

The mountain said, "I'm a ferment of fire inside."

"I'm tormented by grief. My beloved has deserted me."

"Who is your beloved?" Asked the bird.

"My beloved?" said the mountain. "The clouds. And they've left me."

Said the bird: "What if I found your beloved and brought her back?"

The bird flew off, stitched a wedding dress of white...

And draped it over the mountain.

And it's said - but again, I'm saying only what the mountains have told me...

It's said the mountains have been white with the wedding dress ever since.

Besides, what do the troubadours say?

We have winter here for eight months, frosts for three and summer for one.

I'm relating only what the mountains and the troubadours have told me.

And again.

Well, that's Ardahan there, Kars over here and Çıldır over there...

They say many a civilisation has flourished on these plains.

Many a bridge has been raised, many a bridge torn down.

Many a building has been built, many a building destroyed.

And they all lie beneath this snow.

Sometimes the shepherds stumble on them.

Sometimes they burst forth as flowers.

And sometimes they find us through words,

through the music of a troubadour's saz .

As I said, I'm telling you only what the mountains have told me.

TALES OF INTRANSIGENCE

No one pays to listen to the saz any more. The days of the troubadour are over.

Fuel's expensive. And I've sold my motorbike.

Don't worry. The Americans will come. They're crazy about the saz, believe me.

You think I should become a showman at this age?

Well, at this age, you'll have to learn American.

Hello, Daşo Ağa. What are you up to?

Hello there.

Look, isn't it time you stopped this stubbornness?

Travelling by sleigh in this weather with saddlebags, carpets and kilims?

It's madness when we're about to join the EU.

When there's a fabulous minibus here with heating, the radio, the news...

Why don't you worry about yourself first?

You'll soon get stuck in the snow, while I ride along without a care.

I'll get to Ardahan and back before you're out of the snowdrifts.

With that bearskin of yours you'll terrify anyone who sees you.

For God's sake, stop being so stubborn and let me give you a ride in this.

Climb in now! Don't get left behind!

- Don't listen to them. - Climb in, troubadour.

- Hello there. - Hello.

Look at the capitalist!

Just wait till your tyres burst!

Daşo will be the end of you when the blizzards start.

What are you saying? We'll take the short cut across the lake.

- I'll be crossing the lake, too. - You can't go across the lake!

Driver, we have cattle to sell. We're late.

This is some red minibus. Lüks Ardahan. Four wheels. A giant corporation...

Was it supposed to have eight wheels? We're late. We have things to do.

I have a wedding to play at. I'll be late.

Is there anything quite like a sleigh, Daşo Ağa?

Crazy Daşo, your passengers will freeze!

- Mind your own business! - Come on, don't be so stubborn.

Worry about yourself first. I can go anywhere in this sleigh.

I'm crossing the lake, too. And I'll be in Ardahan before you.

If I'm not, I'll torch this minibus!

Look at the capitalist! You'd set light to the minibus? You?

- Yes. I'd do just that. - What bullshit!

You're an old man, Memiş. What about you? You'll freeze in that thing!

Pay no attention, Daşo. Now come on, let's get going.

Harness the horses, come on! They'll be left behind.

Go on! We'll overtake you in any case.

Amazing! Just look at that engine!

Hey, look at the snow! Look at the mountains!

And Daşo, what a great driver you are! But don't be stubborn. Don't tire the horses!

We're OK, but the minibus can't take this route. I know these things.

Don't think that by going so fast you'll catch up with the minibus.

Just slow down a bit.

Why did you go to Korea?

It took us 30 days and 30 nights to sail there.

But you know those Americans? Don't be fooled. They're cowards.

They're only any use when there are Turks around.

If there are no Turks around, they're completely useless.

Now look, they go into Iraq and they want the Turks.

One time during the war those Koreans surrounded us.

We broke through. We got out.

But those Americans kept retreating.

We Turkish troops stay put, then broke through the Koreans.

It's because of our troops that something happened in Korea.

Just think... Maybe we could have taken Korea back then.

Times are bad. It's not about you, or me, or Korea.

Here we are talking about things we think we know. But they're beyond us.

What do we do? Do we have opinions? Do we get these from the television?

Or is it all nonsense? I have no idea.

God forbid. If God would only end this war...

Why did you go to Korea? Who did you fight against?

We just went. They told us to fire; we fired.

They told us to lie flat; we lay flat. They told us to get up; we got up.

I don't know... We just went there.

What's up?

The ice shards... They've cut the horse's legs.

That wind will whip across the lake. He'll take the short cut over the lake now.

- What are you going to do? - I'm going to cross the lake, too.

The minibus is coming!

I'm going across the lake to overtake that crazy Daşo's sleigh.

Kaiser will be the death of us! He'll have us drowning in the lake.

We're onto the lake now. Our worries are over.

Run boy! Run!

They say it's not good to be stubborn. So take it easy. Slow down.

Troubadour, why are you going to town?

I have business at the court. I'm going to the court.

Why do you have your saz with you?

I need it in town. I play in the cafés. That pays for my fare.

If Daşo gets us there in one piece, that is.

- Got any good fish? - Yes. We'll bring it to you.

- How much a kilo? - 3 million lira.

But go to the ice-houses and we'll bring it to you fresh.

Has the Kaiser's minibus been past?

Haven't seen it, no.

Didn't I tell you he'd never cross the lake?

Drive on, Daşo.

Drive the horses!

Ah, the size of a lamb! Mashallah!

God have mercy on them all.

That grave at the top belongs to Koço.

He was a lot like you, Daşo. A brave man. A fine man.

But all brave men have their faults, don't they?

And Koço fell victim to his own stubbornness.

Now Cezo, one of the Ardahan gentry, was a wealthy man with two wives.

But neither wife had produced him a son and this grieved him.

So, thinking three a lucky number, he took a third wife at the age of 55.

He implored, laughed, cried, prayed and finally in winter was given a son.

Elated, he threw a feast lasting seven days and seven nights.

If only we'd been there...

He invited the notables of Ardahan, Kars, Posof and Damal.

He summoned the best poets, troubadours and dancers...

And told them to show off their talents for seven days and seven nights.

God rest his soul...

But would a feast be complete without Latif Şah?

So Latif dressed in his finest clothes,

put on his silver-chained pocket watch...

Tucked his gold-handled pistol into his waistband...

Climbed into a sleigh like us and set off on his way to Ardahan.

May you eat and drink your fill! Guests should be shown hospitality.

Anyone who shies this hospitality will miss a good spread!

Now please, begin eating.

A ceremonial brew for the Ağa! Congratulations on an auspicious day!

- Congratulations! - Thank you.

- God bless us all. - Amen.

We've feasted on goose. I hope you enjoyed it.

We've had pilau, too. Now who's going to play wishbones?

It's a tradition, of course. We can't not play wishbones.

One of the players is decided. Latif Ağa... Now we need another ağa.

I reckon Koço Ağa is a good match. What does everyone say?

Yes. Yes, you're right.

Everyone agrees. Koço Ağa is a good match for Latif Ağa.

That's right.

They make a good match.

Other cities will hear about this.

He's young. He's smart. I'm past it.

Don't put yourself down, Latif Ağa.

Don't disappoint the guests.

Latif, you're an Azeri Ağa. And you, Koço, you're a Kurdish Ağa.

Well go on then. If that's what everyone wants.

Good luck to you both!

Go on! Go on!

Wait! Hang on! The bone hasn't snapped yet.

Yes, gentlemen. Pulling the wishbone is one thing...

But what are you playing for?

What's the deal? We need to know that.

Latif Ağa is famous for his gun. And Koço is known for his horse.

But guns and horses are sacred round here.

You can't play wishbones for guns or horses.

What does everyone think?

Just the guns! The guns!

OK, whatever you all say.

Oh, come on! Let's not get into that!

They'll be talking about the Ağas' guns everywhere.

They'll hear about it in the villages. In the cities even.

In fact, word will even reach Istanbul!

So here's my gun.

We've seen Koço Ağa's gun. Now what about Latif Ağa?

I suppose there's nothing for it. Here's my gun, gentlemen.

As Koço Ağa was returning after seven days and seven nights of feasting...

The burden of his wishbone wager with Latif

was already beginning to weigh on him.

Sometimes the two would meet in town, in the fields or on the road.

But neither managed to catch the other out and say 'wishbone'.

Of course, playing wishbones for guns was no easy business.

After all, guns mean honour... Well, the weeks and months went by.

When Koço grew ever more preoccupied, the villagers started gossiping.

They even teased Koço with wishbone jokes.

Time to sharpen the blades...

Koço, you had a wishbone wager going with Latif Şah. What happened?

What happened to your wager, Koço?

Koço, you're miles away there, sharpening that blade...

What happened to that wager, Koço?

Mind your own business. What's it got to do with you?

Hey, you know a gun means honour. Right, friends?

- Right. - Come on! Get on with your work!

Koço, I hear you're dreaming about it...

Nice... Let's see that one, too. What's that like?

And this is the headscarf kind... Hand-painted.

Let's have a look at that one.

That's a classic headscarf.

- Don't you have anything in red? - Yes, we do.

Hello there, Latif Ağa.

Koço, hello!

We have a wedding soon. And as you know, there are a lot of us.

We're here to pick up a few things, too.

Good.

- Hello. - Welcome.

The fabric there... No, the one underneath.

That one. I'll have a good length of that.

Is that enough?

I'm making... You know, for the kids...

Four metres of that.

No, not that... That's the one.

You want this one...

Four metres of this one... And two metres of this.

Go on, Koço. Have a smoke.

I know what's on your mind.

Don't worry, I know it's on your mind.

Yes. I'll have some of that, too.

That's a print.

- Hah, the print... - Yes, it's lovely.

And look at that green one. That's nice.

Those two and this one.

And let's have a look at that one.

Two metres of that. And four of that.

- Hello there! - Hello!

This is no time to be sitting around. Have your tea and get back to work.

You're right. It was raining so we had to stop work. OK?

We got chatting. Then you arrived and that cheered us up.

- Play a joke on Koço. - OK.

Have some tea, Koço. Here you are...

Wishbone!

Shame on you! Keep out of my wishbone wager...

Don't be angry, Koço. Sit down. It was only a joke.

I'll have my tea, but this has nothing to do with you.

OK, but we were just curious. We wanted to have a laugh.

Just wait till winter's here. Then I'll sort this out.

We thought we'd remind you, that's all. Have a laugh...

- Why get so angry? - There's no harm in it, Koço.

Look, people. This is my business.

This wishbone thing has done something to you... OK, Koço. Calm down.

Koço's really changed, you know.

He treats the wishbone wager as a matter of honour.

Why?

He wakes up and gives his wife a hard time.

What's happened now?

He keeps dreaming about Latif.

They ran into Latif in town the other day.

- When they got home he beat her. - But I don't understand...

He dreams about Latif being with his wife then wakes up and gives her a hard time.

He's horny, the rascal! What does he do to her?

No, not like that! He beats her. That's how he gives her a hard time.

Ah, poor woman!

Tamara, come back!

Don't leave me! Tamara!

Oh my God!

Koço, what's up? What's the matter?

- Koço, are you all right? - Get on with your work.

Hold the reins, will you? Wishbone! Wishbone... Wishbone... Wishbone...

Koço, don't be crazy! You can't go out in this blizzard!

Koço, please! You'll make me a widow! Please don't go!

Out of my way! I'm going!

Koço! Please! Don't be crazy! Not in this blizzard! I beg you!

OK! Leave me alone!

Son! Run! Stop your father! Bring him back!

Wait, Dad! Don't go!

Koço! Koço! I beg you! Not in this blizzard! Run, son!

Koço, please! You'll freeze to death. What will we do without you?

Who is it? Who are you?

- Hold the reins, will you? - It's on my mind! Now come inside.

Come on... Come inside, Koço.

Koço, there's a blizzard out here. Come inside, my friend.

Come on, Koço!

For God's sake!

Koço, a man of the mountains...

Was defeated by his stubbornness.

He couldn't swallow his pride.

He was stubborn as a frozen lake.

The white snow enfolded this man of the mountains.

And he was defeated by his stubbornness.

Dad, there are sleighs coming!

Welcome! ...Welcome!

Come on! Come and sit down!

- Where have you come from? - Ardahan.

I brought my passengers here for some tea.

We'll have a glass of tea, if there is some.

Put it down there.

- Guess it was cold where you've come from. - Yes, it was really bad.

- Where have you come from? - Çıldır. The town centre.

They say Kaiser was insisting on crossing the lake in his minibus.

- Really? - Have you seen it? The minibus?

No, it hasn't been this way.

We didn't see it either. It was freezing. A blizzard was blowing. It was bitter.

- Enjoy it! - Thanks. Thank you.

The journey was fine, but we froze in that blizzard. It's mild here.

Girls, did you run into blizzards on the way?

- It was pretty bad. - It was over our way, too.

- Anyway, the minibus won't make it. - Not a chance.

Memiş Emmi, you didn't finish the story. Tell us how it ended.

I'd like to hear it from a master story-teller like you.

I won't spin it out. We don't want our tea to get cold.

So what happened to Latif and Koço? What do you reckon?

Koço was defeated by his stubbornness and never made it home.

As for Latif, he never laid his hands on Koço's gun.

They both died, didn't they?

All that's left of their stubbornness are two graves and a story.

And I've told you the story. If you ask who gained from the story...

It was the wolves who go hungry on those long winter nights.

And me. I roam from feast to feast telling Koço and Latif's story...

Like I have here, hoping that people may learn a lesson.

Hoping to spread a little wisdom here and there.

Now drink up your tea or we won't get there till nightfall.

Let's get going again.

This wretched mortal world Has surpassed me. Why is that?

I'd play football in my youth. Now the pitch has outdone me.

Is it time I left this world?

Kaiser, what's happened to that sleigh? Where are the passengers?

Crazy Daşo insisted on racing against technology, on racing the minibus.

The passengers froze and the horses sweated.

The road's closed and they've gone to a nearby village.

They'll stay there in the village.

Stop this stubbornness! It'll cost lives. It's time you came to your senses.

- Greetings, gentlemen! - Greetings! Welcome, Memiş Emmi.

İso, the troubadour, is here, too.

Good evening, Kaiser! I see you're here before us.

But don't forget, there's always the return journey.

- We'll race Crazy Daşo again tomorrow. - He'll get stuck in the snowdrifts

- He dug the minibus out. - We thought he'd got stuck.

No! The sleigh would never have got down that road.

Daşo said he'd arrive first.

One of Daşo's horses sweated. The horse fell. The sleigh almost turned over.

You've landed us in trouble with your stubbornness, Kaiser.

And what about Crazy Daşo?

Daşo isn't stubborn. He looks after his horses. He's with them now.

We've been hearing about Daşo's sleigh and Kaiser's minibus all day.

Nothing but stubbornness!

Now let's cheer things up and sing a few words about stubbornness.

Troubadour İso, I'll get a girl Out of Troubadour Memet

With that embroidered face of his And his dyed eyelashes...

I'm not daunted by your naive challenge Or your coarseness

Or the scalp of your bald head I'll tease out the salt from that scalp

Now it's time for you two to listen. Thank you.

You're both masters.

This repartee is a tradition. You could both go on for ever.

If you don't mind, let Memiş give you a theme to work on.

Then you two can give us a show of your talents.

OK. Bayram, bring me a board and some matches.

So there's Kerem and Aslı, Ferhat and Şirin, Tahir and Zühre...

There's the rose and the nightingale... Thanks.

Now, friends, I'm going to set you a puzzle.

Five broken matchsticks and one broken heart...

How do you get these to form a star without touching them?

That's my question. There's the puzzle for you.

He should give us an explanation. A few hints.

This is a love story. The story of a girl and a boy.

There was once an Ardahan noble,

Şamil Bey, who had a son, Yusuf.

Şamil Bey was keen for his son to get married.

He suggested some names to Yusuf. The daughters of local gentry...

But whoever Şamil Bey suggested, Yusuf said no.

My mind's made up. You're to marry Ur Bey's girl.

I set you up with the Shah of Iran's girl but you turned her down.

Now Ur Bey's girl will be the bride. I want to have grandchildren.

This castle, these mountains belong to us. They're our legacy.

They're the legacy of my ancestors. And you'll carry on this legacy.

Now will you marry her?

I don't want her either.

I'm in love with someone else, father.

What do you mean by that?

You don't want the Shah's girl.

I've set you up with Ur Bey's girl and you don't want her either.

Who do you want then? Who have you fallen in love with?

Şahsenem, a village girl from Cambaz.

What? A village girl? I say one thing, you do another!

What do you mean? How can you fall in love with a peasant girl?

I want you to marry into a noble family

and you want a peasant girl!

It's scandalous!

You want to be a bachelor forever? You're to marry the Bey's girl.

- Bahar, have you heard? - What?

Your boy's fallen for a village girl. And she's ugly, too.

So what if he loves her? His father's a Bey, mine's an Ağa.

Beys and Ağas are a good match. Do you think his father wants me or her?

I'll pretend I never heard, Sevda. Don't tell me things like that again.

- Welcome, Ağa! Welcome! - Thank you. Thank you...

- Hello! Hello, Piro! - Welcome! Come in!

How are you, Piro Ağa?

- Welcome! ...Welcome! - How are you, Bacı?

- Come in! Come in! - Thanks. Thank you...

- Welcome, Şamil Ağa! - Thank you, Bacı.

I'm a troubled man, Piro Ağa.

We'll share your troubles then. Salman, bring us some raki.

Thanks. Thank you. You take your raki neat, don't you?

- For as long as I can remember. - As long as you can remember, huh?

- Now, to your health! Welcome! - Thank you.

Mashallah! ...Mashallah!

- You still drink like the old days. - More or less.

More or less, huh?

Now Piro,

if you want to know my problem, it's my son.

I tell him he has to marry. Marry who? Someone worthy of us.

I tell him I'm going to marry him to Ur Bey's daughter. She's rich.

- Ur Bey has money, property. - And you don't?

I do. And that's why it's a good match.

But he says he'd rather have Şahsenem, some village girl from Cambaz.

How can I get him to change his mind? Ur Bey's girl is ready and willing.

I'll set the girl a puzzle. I'll make the boy give up on her.

- She'll never solve it. - She'll never solve it?

- Not a chance. - You really mean that?

- Then he'll change his mind? - He'll have no choice.

So we tell the girl you're setting her a puzzle.

That if she solves it, they can marry. If not, they can't.

She can't possibly solve it! Not even in 40 years!

- Then let's drink to it. - Let's drink.

- And welcome to you! - Thanks, Piro Ağa.

Let's drink to the puzzle.

- To the puzzle! - To the puzzle then!

- Poor girl! - Yes, poor thing!

- Cheers! Thanks! Come on, let's drink. - OK. Let's drink to your health.

Won't you tell me how to solve the puzzle?

Absolutely not!

Let's have a re-fill. Then maybe you'll tell me.

Let's have a re-fill. But I certainly won't tell you.

- So nobody will be able to solve it? - No.

- The girl won't either, will she? - No chance!

Not in 40 years.

Where will you set her the puzzle?

- In the castle. - You mean in my castle?

- So we should ask the girl there? - Yes.

Well thanks, Piro Ağa. You've done me a great favour

Don't mention it. Not at all. I just gave you a little guidance.

- What more could I ask of a friend? - Thanks!

Şahsenem, my father wants to see you.

Why?

He's going to set you a puzzle.

If you solve it, he'll let us get married.

What if I don't?

You will. I have faith in you.

Don't always be so sure of everything. What if I can't solve it?

You'll solve it.

Come in! ...Come in!

Come in... Welcome, dear. Welcome. Have a seat.

Yusuf, you wait outside.

Hello! ...Welcome!

Welcome, my dear. Now this is Piro Ağa and this, Mustafa Bey.

And this is our bride-to-be. Lovely girl, isn't she? Mashallah!

Mashallah... God bless her!

Now, our family has a tradition handed down through the generations.

A tradition as old as this castle.

We set every bride-to-be a puzzle.

If she solves it, she becomes our bride.

And she gets to own this castle.

But if not, tradition holds that she can't join the family.

Now who's going to set the puzzle? That's Piro Ağa's job.

I hope from my heart that you'll solve the puzzle.

Now explain the puzzle, Piro Ağa.

I'm going to set you a puzzle, dear.

There are five broken matchsticks under my hand.

You must get them to form a star without touching them.

You have 40 days. See what you can do.

A star is what we're after.

And you're not to tell anyone else.

May the Prophet Ali guide and help you.

- Is everything clear? - Yes, I understand.

May it all work out for the best, Şamil Ağa.

If she solves the puzzle in 40 days, you must go ahead with the wedding.

And make sure you invite us too. We want to be part of the festivities.

- There you go, my girl. - Inshallah...

Now if you get those matchsticks to form a star

without touching them...

And without asking anyone for advice, I promise you this much.

I promise to give you a wedding that lasts 40 days and 40 nights.

But if you don't solve the puzzle, then by tradition the wedding's off.

Here's some food for you. Eat up now. Don't torture yourself like this.

Damn their sons! Damn them! And damn their castles!

No, Mum. I'm not hungry. Take it away.

Don't waste your time on these matchsticks. Throw them away.

No, Mum. I'm going to solve this.

You have 40 days.

You must get them to form a star.

- What if I can't solve it? - You'll solve it.

If she solves it, she becomes our bride. And she gets to own this castle.

You have 40 days... 40 days...

Damn their castles!

Well, those 40 days quickly passed.

Şahsenem...

Şahsenem spent her days at the table, stubbornly trying to solve the puzzle.

Come the 40th day,

Şamil Bey was overjoyed to have no news of the poor peasant girl.

That day he asked Piro Ağa and Mustafa Bey to the castle

to witness her absence.

And as the hours went by on that 40th day,

he asked Ur Bey's girl to the castle...

He had her kiss his hand and told his men to start the wedding preparations.

Ali Riza, I want drums and 40 cauldrons of food!

Now start the preparations! You have 40 cauldrons of food to cook!

Now come here, my dear. Let me see you close up again.

But as the sun was setting behind the mountains on that 40th day...

A miracle happened at the table Şahsenem had toiled over for 40 days.

She leapt on her horse and galloped off to the Devil's Castle.

Şamil Bey had seen off his guests and was gearing up for the wedding next day.

- What's up, my girl? - I've solved the puzzle.

- You've solved it? - Yes.

You go outside. Go on!

How did you solve it? Come over here.

There are the matchsticks.

Solving the puzzle... It's no easy thing.

Go on, show me how you did it.

- You didn't ask anyone for help, did you? - No.

- Well? It's not working. - It will soon.

- How do you mean? - It will in a while.

What do you mean, in a while?

- There. It's done. - How did you solve this?

Good God!

Piro Emmi!

Piro Ağa!

- Did Piro tell you? - No.

Well, how did you do it then?

I was crying. My tears fell on the matches and it just worked.

Oh God, did this have to happen?

Now I have to stick by my promise. I have to let you marry my son.

No, you don't have to. I don't want to marry him.

How do you mean?

Why not?

I've solved the puzzle.

But if your son really loved me, he'd never have put me through this.

So you're free to marry your son to whoever you like.

Five broken matchsticks suddenly took the shape of a star.

Those matchsticks enveloped a broken heart and stole it away.

Memiş's puzzle really was a tough one.

So according to tradition it's now your turn to take the stage.

Please go ahead.

Girl, if only I knew To what your breasts compare...

Is one the letter G, the other a J? And who was their creator?

Is the one a newly dawned day, The other a swollen full moon?

Is the one a sacred sura, The other a holy letter?

- My husband's sitting on four wheels. - Your husband will never get here.

The sleigh will never get here. My minibus will be here any minute.

- Oh yes?! - Wait and see!

No way! Your husband's stranded. He's stuck in the snow.

He won't get out!

My husband's a real man! Once he gets those horses going...

He streaks across the ice like lightning!

- My minibus will be back any minute. - Huh...

The minibus has everything. Heating, a tape machine...

What does yours have? A moth-eaten blanket!

Instead of answering me back, why don't you call the highways?

Get them to rescue your husband. His minibus is stuck in the snow.

The sleigh will be here any minute!

Just get on the phone!

If my sleigh gets here first, what will you give me?

A goose. And if my minibus gets here first, what will you give me?

- A chicken. - It's a deal.

For God's sake! Why are you betting? The sleigh's sure to be back first.

My husband will be back sooner than yours.

Ladies, for goodness sake! What are you arguing about?

My husband's already over the mountains.

Hers is stuck but she still says he'll win.

Who'll be back first? You tell her!

Sevilay, what are they yelling about?

Their husbands made a bet. They're racing.

So the wives are betting, too. One on the minibus, one on the sleigh.

The minibus has taken the road. The sleigh's coming over the lake.

One says her husband will win. The other says her husband will.

Whoever wins gets a goose. That's what they're betting for.

- He's stuck in the snow! - OK! Let's just see who wins.

- The sleigh will get here first! - Good! I hope so! Whoever wins, wins.

- Just you wait and see! - OK.

The minibus is stranded! It's stuck in the snow!

- Look, my sleigh's coming! - So is my minibus!

- Rubbish! It's stuck in the snow! - Dream on! Your sleigh's miles behind!

Daşo, you're torturing those horses!

They say stubbornness is like fire. Chew on it too long and your tongue burns.

Swallow too much and your insides burn. Have you got that, Daşo?

Kaiser, drop us right here or we won't pay.

Kaiser Efendi, drop us here! Where are you taking us?

This is no time to stop! We're all set to gain ground!

You see? Damn it! ...God damn it!

Damn it!

Why the stubbornness? What is this?

- Hang on a minute, Kaiser! - Just wait!

Hey, Kaiser! ...Stranded are you?

Good luck to you! Just watch us fly past in the sleigh!

- Get in! Quick! Trust me! - But we're stuck in the snow!

- Don't worry! Get in! It'll be OK! - Just look at those wheels!

- There's nothing to worry about - You expect us to pay money for this?

Just you see how it gets us home! Now get in for God's sake!

Troubadour, tell Kaiser to be careful or he'll kill us.

Kaiser, look there's a blizzard out there. And you're still racing the sleigh.

Stop being so stubborn! You've gone far enough.

We can't even see the way. We'll end up having to take the sleigh.

Look, we have heating in here. I'll turn the heating on.

We won't get stranded. I can see the way.

It's the sleigh that won't see a thing. Can you trust Daşo? He'd get you stranded.

Look, people. I've tried, but I just can't get this man to listen.

I never met anyone so thick-headed!

You'd expect some sense of modesty. For God's sake, it's only a sleigh!

Did you ever hear of Şaho?

He was a stubborn sort, too.

No. Go on, tell us about him.

He was stubborn and roguish as hell. A master of skulduggery.

He'd make bets with everyone. And he'd always win. He never lost.

You know what he did one day? Or so rumour has it.

He's someone known by all the old folk here.

He became so skilled at what he did... Unbelievable!

He was always putting money in the bank.

God knows where it came from.

He never took any out. But how come? How come he was always depositing?

After a time the bank manager became curious.

He said to Şaho, "Come and have some tea and a chat."

- Come in. Welcome! - Thanks.

- How are you? You're well? - Yes, thank you.

- Thanks a lot. - Not at all.

- How are you? - Fine, thanks. You too, inshallah!

Great, thank you. Now Şaho Bey, there's something I'd love to know.

As a bank manager, I'd like to ask you a question.

You've been coming here for years. You're always depositing money.

But I've never seen you withdraw any.

Aren't banks for depositing money? Besides, I have a little on the side.

Withdrawing money is a bit... So I bank the money.

Well, don't you need the money?

You want me to withdraw it?

- No... Will you excuse me a minute? - No problem. Go ahead.

Hello?

Thank you, my dear. I'll take another sugar, if I may.

OK, add it to the account. I have a visitor with me now... Goodbye.

- Mashallah! - Thank you.

- I hope I'm not disturbing you. - Of course not. This is my job.

Şaho Bey, I'd love to know... Don't you ever need any money?

You're always depositing money. I mean, I'd love to know what you do.

Well, I have a job like everyone else. I work, of course.

But well... I have things to keep me busy.

Are you a farmer? A trader? Do tell me, please. I'm dying to know.

Every profession out there is tough, no matter what it is.

My profession's a tough one, too. Very tough.

- Well, is it a secret? Won't you say? - Of course I will.

You see, I personally...

I go in for betting.

- Betting? - Yes, betting.

- Don't you ever lose? - Never. I always win.

- How do you mean? - I always win.

- Unbelievable! - I always win.

I put the money straight in the bank and keep a bit as pocket money.

So someone says this much and you say that much.

The thing with a bet is you sometimes win and sometimes lose.

No, no. I always win.

I've never lost. After all, my name is Şaho the Better.

I'm Artful Şaho!

So that's where the word 'artful' comes from...

I know I'll always win. Now look, how old are you?

- 32. - Mashallah!

No grey hairs yet, huh?

Absolutely not! It runs in the family.

- Not a single grey hair? - No, not one.

Suppose I bet you that in one month you'll start going grey?

- In a month? Impossible! - Of course it's possible!

In one month you'll have a grey hair sprouting from an unseemly part of you.

And that hair will be as thick as this finger.

- A grey hair? - Yes.

But my hair's jet black. There's not a grey hair on my body!

I tell you, a thick grey hair will sprout from that unseemly part of you.

Şaho Bey, let's say we make a deal.

But tell me, exactly what unseemly part are you referring to?

Now, Mr Manager...

How can I say? Well, pardon me, I'm referring to your ass.

A grey hair this thick will sprout from your ass in one month.

You're quite a joker!

But look, if we're going to bet, let's make it something feasible.

I mean, I'm a bank manager. I can't bet on something like this.

Why not? I'm telling you, you'll have a grey hair on your ass in one month.

- 10 billion! - No, I won't. Look...

- How do you mean you won't? - Look, my hair's jet black!

- I say you will. - No, I won't!

You will. Honestly... 10 billion. In one month.

- One month? - One month.

- I won't. - You will 10 billion.

- 10 billion? - In one month.

OK, just... Just so I can beat you. It's a deal!

I'm going to win, you know.

In one month a grey hair this thick will be sprouting from your nether regions.

I'll be back in a month with a witness to inspect. OK?

This time you've lost.

- But nobody should hear about this. - I won't tell a soul.

And I'll bring along a witness. He'll take a look. The hair will be there.

- No, it won't. - Yes, it will. It will.

I can see that grey hair already.

Let me see... You say there's no grey but I don't agree.

There's no grey in the family at all.

I can already see that grey hair sprouting at the roots.

But that hair will take a wrong turn and start heading for your nether regions.

I'm absolutely sure of this.

It's the sixth sense. We're talking science.

- Science, huh? - Yes, science. The sixth sense.

I have a highly developed sixth sense. There's no way you'd ever understand.

- No way. - Look in the mirror and you'll see.

- Look, I've had years of education. - Sir, please...

Buy a mirror, take a look in one month and you'll see a hair this thick.

- And I'll have the money in my pocket! - You're dreaming.

- I'll buy you a mirror if you like. - No, I can do that.

Will you manage to see all by yourself?

Listen, Mr Manager...

Now, about this war... Will America win or Iraq?

OK... So look, one side will win and the other side lose.

But there's always going to be a winner.

So who do you think will win? I say America.

- I don't know about that. - Well, they're raining bombs on Iraq.

Actually, at the end of the day the real winner is always someone else.

Whether America wins or Iraq... It's the bomb-makers that really win.

Now I'd never bet with you on whether America will win or Iraq.

I know exactly who'll win in the end. I know exactly!

You're that sure of yourself, huh? You reckon you'll win?

My profession's a tough one. Well, so is every profession.

But mine's the toughest of all. Artful Şaho is a man apart.

- This time you've lost. - Mr Manager, I don't lose.

Well anyway... No, I won't lose. So I'll be here on 25 April.

- And you expect me to grow that grey hair? - Yes.

- Then you'll make money out of me? - That's right.

- Off you go! - Have a good day!

- Hello! How are you? - Fine thanks. Welcome!

- I'm after a mirror. - What sort of thing?

Let's see what you have.

- How's this? - Too big. You have anything smaller?

- This one? - Yes, that's not bad.

- Won't you have some tea, Mr Manager? - No I won't, thanks.

Good. This will do. I'll take this one.

You'll see now. He's made the bet anyway.

Here we go...

Come in!

- Şaho Bey, welcome! - Thanks. How are you?

- Please, have a seat. - Thanks... Thank you.

- It's been over a month now. - Well, that time has only just come.

- How are you? - What's up? You used to make deposits.

- Well, you know... - How are you, Mr Mukhtar?

Well. I'm very well, thank you.

- And you? - Fine, thanks.

Will you have something to drink? Some tea?

- Yes, please. - Tea would be nice.

Ebru Hanım! ...Some tea for my visitors. And one for me, too.

Thanks, Mr Manager.

- You're in good health, are you? - Yes. Busy, you know. You're both well?

- Yes, thanks. - Fine, thanks.

Well, the mukhtar and I have brought along the money.

Now, Mukhtar... The manager's a brave man. Good for you, Mr Manager.

Well, I brought along the mukhtar

so we can finish off this business.

You'll see now. You'll see too, Mr Manager.

- You know you've lost, don't you? - No, no...

Are you really that serious for goodness sake?

I mean, I thought you were joking.

Please, sir! This business is no joke! We'll see, won't we?

There we go. Thank you, my dear.

Mashallah! ...Mashallah!

Şaho Bey, you can back out if you want.

No, no. Come on...

- But it's a crazy bet... - Shame on you, Mr Manager! Right?

- My mind's made up. - We carry right ahead.

For goodness sake! What's the problem? A bet's a bet, isn't it?

- We'll soon see. - Exactly.

- Look, my hair's still jet black. - Maybe it is...

- Now, we've discussed this at length. - Yes.

I'd say, you shouldn't take on a bet you're sure to lose.

Mr Manager, this business is my profession.

I'm very serious about my profession.

And you go along with Şaho Bey?

- So you've come to see me? - Yes, exactly.

- Shall we have a look? - Yes, let's do that.

- So it's time to take a look. Shall we? - OK.

- You mean you're absolutely sure. - Of course.

- You're joking... - It's no joke. We're here to look.

- That's your final decision? - Are you kidding? We're here to look.

- Let's go then. - Let's go. Come on, Mukhtar.

- You first. - No, please! Go ahead.

Well Mukhtar... Hand over the briefcase then.

- Here... Good God! - Yes, good God!

Come on now! You saw, didn't you? Come on, get out of here! Goodbye!

I told you it was a crazy bet.

Now let's go over here.

For God's sake!

Well, Artful Şaho. You lost this time! The money goes to my account.

Mr Manager...

- You know what's in this briefcase? - 10 billion.

- Now look... - 20 billion!

10 of it's mine. And 10 is yours.

Good. So I get my money...

- You know how this happened? - How would I?

Well, I made a bet with the Mukhtar. I said...

- I said... - What did you say?

I said, I bet you the bank manager will show us his ass.

20 billion. He said, "It's a deal!"

So 10 billion is yours and 10 mine. And I've won again!

Why not...

Why not change it into Euros?

Mr Manager... Just call me Artful Şaho. OK?

Stop the bullshit! You couldn't make music in the sleigh!

- Could you sing? Would you be warm? - That's what I'm talking about.

- Leave it out! - Well, stop this stubbornness then!

I've always won through being stubborn. And that's the way I'll carry on.

That sleigh will fly across that lake. What about you?

That crazy Daşo will be the death of his passengers.

Look, I can't make the guy listen. That's it! I'm not saying any more.

- I'll go across the lake, too! - How?

I'll put on the chains and go for it!

That's kind of hard.

Look, I wasn't going to take your minibus but...

But these guys persuaded me. And now you insist on crossing the lake!

You can't do that! We'll go through the ice! The minibus will sink!

We'll drown!

- You're being downright stubborn! - Stop worrying unnecessarily!

You've no idea what vehicles have crossed this lake. The number of sleighs...

The things that have happened... The ice is a good 4 metres thick here.

Don't argue with Kaiser. You think he cares about us?

Look, Kaiser! Where are you going? This isn't a sleigh, you know.

- Didn't I tell you? - Just look at the guy!

- I can't believe you're crossing the lake! - It's no problem. Don't worry!

Look, planes could even land on this lake! Trust me!

- You won't listen! You're stubborn! - But we can't let the sleigh beat us!

- He's putting us through hell here. - Look, there's 2 metres of ice here!

Shameless idiot! Just look at him! Miserable upstart!

- We've decided. We're taking the road! - Stubborn fool!

I'm not being stubborn! If Crazy Daşo can do it, why can't we?

- Hey, Nezeket! - What is it now?

It's evening. The minibus isn't back. Nor is the sleigh.

You're just worried about that chicken.

Watch your mouth! How can you say that?

- Stop! What's happened to them? - They were behind us. Let's take a look.

Let's hope they didn't fall in the lake. They'll be food for the fish.

There was a hole over there. Maybe they fell in or something.

Didn't I tell you this stubbornness would end in grief?

I can't see them anywhere.

I wonder what's happened to Kaiser...

Look what Kaiser's done! You think they've fallen in the lake?

There's no sight of them. I never saw such stubbornness!

- Come on, let's go and look for them. - But there's no trace of them whatsoever!

I said this stubbornness would end badly! Quick! Let's go back!

You've landed us in the shit! So what now?

Kaiser's downright shameless, that's all! Climb in, Troubadour!

Shameless Kaiser! All he could think about was the lake.

Has the sleigh fallen in the lake or what? My seven kids will be left fatherless!

And still she's talking about the chicken. She can have 5! I just want my man back.

Don't worry, he'll be back. Be patient a bit longer.

It's already night and he's not back. What on earth has happened?

- He'll turn up. Just be patient. - Maybe I should go to the police station.

- Calm down... - Who should I go to? My husband's gone!

My kids will be fatherless. You're OK. You'd find new husbands.

For thousands of years these snow-drenched lands...

Have been home to fabulous stories, songs and epic poems...

Written sung and told on these mountains of virgin snow.

When spring comes, they melt away with the snow and evaporate.

But they don't disappear. No, they don't disappear.

They turn into clouds and drift away to other lands.

There, in those other lands, the clouds break as snow or perhaps rain.

And the people of those lands listen to the tales and poems of our troubadours.

And they tell them among themselves.

Then winter returns again, bringing new tales, legends and songs.

In any case, what is it they say?

They say the first stories on earth, the first legends, the first songs...

Were written, sung and told around here at the foot of Mount Ararat.

So now you know...

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