Original subtitles

[peppy music playing]

- ERIC: We see you, Wastelanders.

You're the resourceful scrap salvagers.

You're the hard-traveling trade route marauders.

You're the brave kidnappers of the children of the wealthy.

And after a hard day of work,

you deserve the best refreshment

the Wastes can offer... Doomshine!

Good day. I'm Edric Shiner,

proud owner of Doomshine brewery.

What's that, Hopps? - [whispers]

- Ha! That's right.

As ol' Hopps the mangaroo here will tell you,

Doomshine is brewed with authentic Aurion hopps,

just like our family...

- LHANDI: Ugh. - JEP: Aaah!

[grumbling]

I don't wanna look at this. - That's a good ad.

Gotta hand it to him,

but can someone explain to me why he is still running ads

for a beer he stopped distributing?

- Because he wants us to suffer!

We're all suffering! Are you happy now?

- No, Jep, Jep, Jep-- - Are you happy, you bastard--

- Okay, hush now, baby.

I know. I know. - [snoring]

- That's good. That was...

That's quick work. - Hush now, baby.

- So cute. - ♪ Hush now, baby... ♪

- Hey, you know what? People want all kinds of drinks.

Why don't we have a, uh...

A Phil's cider?

- [all groaning]

- Oh, okay... Okay. No, come on,

it is not that bad! It's... [chuckles] Um...

- PERSON AT BAR: You're gonna regret that!

- Eh...

Fuck... yes.

- I heard a rumor that old man Shiner's daughter ran off

and he won't start selling Doomshine again

until she comes home to Aurion.

- [grunts] - Oh, okay.

- I am so sick of you

and Toad Man's bullshitting lies!

- Me? What? - All right.

- You get the fuck out of here, okay?

You go spread your manure somewhere else, all right?

- I just walked in! - Gonna show myself the door.

- You little shit-talking freak. - Please, I have a broken ankle.

- Get out of here! [sobs] - [Toad Man groans]

- So you are the runaway daughter, then?

Did I sort of figure that out?

- Tipped my hand there, didn't I?

- All right. Let's go see Lhandi's dad.

- I didn't say anything! W-why?

- You've got a victim's mentality.

- I am a victim. - Exactly, see?

Yeah, there we go.

- [groans, groaning]

[theme music playing]

- Hands off. Hands off. - [mumbles] Come on...

No. Uh... Danny, please, I'm begging you, don't do this.

He seems nice and smiley in the commercials,

but when he wants something, he gets... kill-ey.

- Sorry, Lhandi. People who hid the truth

about their rich daddies don't get a vote on this one.

[thud]

What was that?

- [Onorato speaking]

- [crowd shouting indistinctly] - Let us in!

- Let us in! - DANNY: Jesus,

I knew people love Doomshine,

but these folks look rough.

Hey! Hey!

Hey! No!

Fellas, you mind opening up?

We got business with Edric

and, uh, these people are, uh, dinging my bar.

- EDRIC: Oi, cunts.

Kindly open the gate for my daughter.

Lhandi! [laughs]

My love. - Hi, Dad.

- What do you think of the band?

- LHANDI: What happened to your old jam band?

- Uh, they're writing new arrangements as we speak.

- That's really great.

- Look, I know it was extreme,

but you can't argue with results.

Would you rather I put together a squad to hunt you down,

kill your friends and drag you back?

Though I thought of that, too.

- No, obviously not. - EDRIC: Well, then,

I'd call it a successful compromise.

- Wha-what about those people outside?

Hey. Do you think that they consider this a compromise?

I mean, I'm surprised

you haven't brought out the gallows

to string 'em all up.

- And get rid of all that free publicity? No, no, no, no.

I'm gonna send cameras out there

and make a commercial out of it.

Doomshine!

See what all the fuss is about!

The budget will be minuscule. - That's not even a good tune.

- Come on, sweetie... - Oh.

- ...give your dear old dad a hug.

- Okay, okay, okay. - Come on, Di-Di. [laughs]

- I'm hugging you, I'm hugging you,

I'm hugging you. - Ah!

- Touching scene. - Huh?

- Mr. Shiner, if I could just say, a big fan!

My name is Danny Doom. I own the Oasis here,

where Lhandi works.

- So, you're the one who kidnapped my daughter.

- Oh... Uh... Oh, you can get much, much bigger. Uh...

The si...The situation is... she... she came in one day,

and my... uh, my last bartender had just had an unfortunate

"being-on-fire" incident, so...

- You might wanna run, Dan.

- [laughs] I'm flicking ya, son! - Oh. Oh!

- I'm flicking ya! - Oh, you're joking. O-ho. Ow.

I really thought I was gonna... - Hoho, flicked you again.

- ...gonna die there, but...

- Flick, flick, flick! [laughs] - Yeah. Yeah.

Flick, flick, flick. Flick, flick.

- You love flicking.

- I hope this means you like me. [chuckles]

- Nah, forget about flicking.

You've all been through so much to get here.

What say we get you back to the house to clean up,

and you, you have to tell me how to get your beard so full.

- I spit in it. - Spit? Whose spit?

- I just let it all just dribble out.

- Wow. Come on, sweetie, hurry up, darling.

- [laughs] - And there's Lhandi,

trying to convince all my workers

to unionize!

- [Danny and Jep laugh]

- That sounds like Lhandi. Yeah.

- I don't even know what a unionize is

and it's hilarious!

- Okay, you've buttered us up,

now we have to talk, Dad, right, Danny?

- Talk? - Yes, yeah.

As long as that doesn't anger you, Edric.

What do you think?

- I was just about to take you all

on a very VIP special privilege tour of the brewery.

- [gasps] Brewery? [mumbling]

- Oh. Uh...

Oh, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Well, wh-why don't Xanth and Onorato

take Jep on a tour while we talk?

- Whatever you wish, Di-Di.

- [laughing]

- All right, I'm gonna need you

to be on Jep leash duty, okay, pal?

It's a new place.

- [Onorato speaking]

- Yeah, good luck. Bye, Jeppie.

- All right, I came back, you saw me,

you got what you wanted. Now get the Doomshine flowing

so we can get outta here.

- Good. Well said, Lhandi. - Di-Di, Di-Di, Di-Di, Di...

that's not what I want. [chuckles]

I want you home. For good. - Curveball.

- But you can't always just get whatever you want.

- Why not? - Why not? Great question.

Lhandi? - Well, because I...

I am my own person, you know.

And, and, and... - Autonomous.

- These people can't give you what you need,

or even protect you. No offense, Sucky Dan.

- Sir, if you offend me, I promise you will never know.

[chuckles nervously] Scared. Scared of you.

- You know what, Dad? You have no idea what I need.

Not at all. - Oh, really?

Well, let me show you something.

- I'll tag along too unless you don't want me to.

- [laughs] What a suck. - Yeah.

- Flick! - Aah, aah. Aah, ow. A-ha.

Yeah, that's our thing now.

- This is a disgusting dynamic.

- You know, Lhandi here

has the most magnificent imagination.

She drew the original sketch for Hopps the mangaroo.

I mean, I loved it so much,

I hired geneticists to create a mangaroo!

- DANNY: Wow! - EDRIC: Just made one!

- I always thought that was a guy in a suit.

But you know what?

There's nothing frightening about that to me,

and I only find it cool.

- Anyway, Sucky-Suck,

one night I found myself

going through your old boxes, darling,

and I found a notebook

full of your incredible drawings,

and I knew exactly what I had to do.

- Dad, what did you do? - Di-Di, I present to you...

LhandiLand!

- Oh, God. - Too much?

- I love it, and I'm gonna go check it out.

- [laughs]

- DANNY: Whoa, Teddy bear alert! - And look.

And if you press his nose...

- Oh, it's blood. - EDRIC: Yeah!

You didn't see that coming, did you?

- No, I didn't. - She drew that as well.

- You did? - Yeah, I guess. Yep.

- Psycho!

- [Jep mumbling] - [Onorato speaking]

[Onorato speaking]

- Did you see their opera house?

Gadge! [laughs]

- Excuse me, what book is that that you're carrying?

- Oh, I don't know if you'll have--

- Because it looks like Diamonds, Latex and Celluloid:

Aurion's Queer Cinema of the Late Recovery.

- That is exactly what this is.

- I was going to meet some friends

to have a salon about it.

You wouldn't wanna join me, would you?

- Oh, wow. You go ahead, friends.

I might be starting a new life. [chuckles softly]

Hey, Jep. Behave.

Please, lead the way. - Get on my bike.

We will hurry away like we're in a movie.

- Oh, I'd like that a lot.

- That was my card. What? - Ugh.

- Lhandi, this gorilla is a genius!

- Lhandi, I talked about all of this with my therapist,

and they thought this was an effective love language.

- Do you know why I sketched all of these things?

To escape all of the shit that you made me a part of.

- Strong things kill weak things.

You don't see that yet. This is where you need to be.

- You drew these, Lhandi?

- What, you think he's gonna look after you?

- You... You're a pervert! Hey, don't tickle there!

- Dad, look. I know you think

you're doing what is best for me,

but it is not. I am not coming home!

Ever.

- [grunting]

- Stop. Don't pull that with me, okay? I'm not gonna... Uh, uh...

- [roars] - Stop!

[mumbles] - [hisses, grunting]

[raspy voice] Lhandi, I wanna be very clear on this.

When I say this is where you'll be living,

I am certainly not asking. [kisses]

[normal voice] Now, make sure to try out the anti-gravity room.

You guys will lose your balls.

- Look at me, dad. I mean, Ed.

- Aah! [Laughs] - Ed. Holy... Heh. Ha.

I called you "dad".

- I'm just gonna get lunch ready.

- [laughs]

- Thanks for the backup, dipshit.

- What, wait. Whoa. One... One sec, guys. One...

I'll be back, come on.

Lhandi, I'm... I'm sorry.

But I have to ask, are you actually complaining

about all of this?

- Listen, what I think we need to do is

we just need to load the Oasis

with as much Doomshine as we can,

and split, you know, get out of here.

- Lhandi, say we cut and run, right?

That beer will run out,

and then we'll be right back where we started.

As long as your dad has the power,

you have to find a way to work things out with him.

That's all there is.

- You're right. I have to stop him.

- Not at all what I said. L-Lhandi, where are you going?

- [grunts] See you on the other side, Danny.

Oh, and don't trust that dragon.

It just wants to eat your secrets!

- Lhandi, wait. Lhandi!

- Sorry to interrupt you, mate, but, um,

you're gonna have to have a yarn to one of your guests

'cause he's acting the fool.

- Aah. Haha. Ooh. [mumbling] - [Onorato speaking]

- How are you guys subtitling this right now?

- [indistinct shouting]

- Doomshine! Give me mine! Doomshine! Give me mine!

.- Come on, just try it. It's not that bad.

- Tell your story, walking filth!

I'd rather drink me own piss.

[rock music playing]

- People of the Wastelands, do you want your Doomshine?

- ALL: Yeah! - PERSON 1: I sure do.

- Then come and get it. - [crowd screaming]

[rock song playing]

- PERSON 2: [gasps] Look, a revolution.

- Is that Lhandi?

Good for her. Arta.

- [glasses clink] - [person screams]

[theme music playing]