Original subtitles

[rattlesnake rattling]

[suspenseful music playing]

- [grunts] - SUNNY: [laughs]

Well, well, well. Danny Doom.

Take a good look, boys.

The infamous outlaw on his knees,

just like I promised.

- [laughing]

- Didn't I promise you that? [laughs]

Our game has reached its end, Doom.

- Oh, come on, Sunny.

We're not trading wristies here.

Why are you trying to get your shot off so quick.

- I... I only partially understand that.

But I know it's gross.

- Look, I know my brains are gonna be

razorback nibbles in about five minutes

so why not indulge me one last bit of fun, yeah?

- And what did you have in mind? - Oh, nothing too wild.

Just a... little bet. - PEOPLE: Oh!

- About that... Okay. [chuckles]

- Thing is, Doom, ah--

- Something wrong with that, Sunny?

- No, the thing is that, uh, you know

very well that I've got an addiction.

- Oh, do you? - I opened up to you.

And now you're using this against me.

Now, I, I... I made a promise to my wife.

- [groan]

- Don't groan in there! I'm sick!

You don't think I don't want to?

I do! I want to, too much.

- Oh, no, no, no, I get it, Sunny.

He's right, boys. It wouldn't be fair to his wife.

- [laughter] - [speaking indistinctly]

-That's not funny. It's not funny at all.

It's patriarchical.

- Say the word again, Sunny. - Patriarchical.

- You're, ha... you're adding a syllable.

- Patriachal?

It doesn't matter. What do you have in mind?

- Oh, I guess I bet I can make you kill

every last one of your mates there.

- [laughs] It's la... It's laughable.

You think you can make me kill--

- Rar! Aah! - Aah!

- You need to do a slight better than handcuffs

for old Danny Doom, my friend. Yah!

- [groaning] - [gunshot]

- Oh, God!

Oh, you're making me shoot

all my friends! - [shrieks]

- You're currently making me shoot...

- Sunny, no, no!

- ...all my friends. - ...you're doing.

- SUNNY: I did not have in mind any of this.

- Sunny, sorry I'm late, man. I got your email--

[gunshot]

Aah! Aah! - SUNNY: No!

He was-- He was a nice acquaintance.

He was gonna be a friend.

- Oh, don't worry, Sunny. I'll be sure

to check in on the wife for you.

- I know you're just trying to upset me

but you should examine how you talk about women...

- [car engine revving] - [tires squealing]

Ah... Ha!

If anyone is still alive, I'm... I'm so sorry, okay?

[dramatic music playing]

- And that is how I bested

the vile marauder/gambling addict,

Sunny Munn Sinclair.

- Oh-ho-ho, yeah, yeah, it's good, Danny.

- Oh, man!

Danny has just got so many amazing stories, hey?

- Did it seem like Sunny had fewer teeth

this time around, don't ya, Onorato?

[speaking]

- Sometimes you gotta juice a few details

to make a story pop.

Jep knows what I'm talking about.

- Have I ever told you the one about the lonely farmer

and his very attractive cow?

- I feel like that's less a story

and more a socially alienating joke, Jep.

- Oh, no, it's fine. - Okay, okay,

you wanna field this, Lhandi? - So there's this farm...

- I'd rather not deal with this by myself.

Yes? Okay.

- And then one day he finds himself

lingering on the teat as he milks her.

- Oh! Does the farmer--

- So, I don't know if you knew this...

but cows sleep standing up.

- LHANDI: Oh, God.

[rock music playing]

[indistinct chatter]

- Hey there! Hi, everyone.

Oh, wow. Okay, park it here, Xanth.

Right across from the competition.

What's up, Phil?

- Come on! - Hi, Danny!

- Danny, they're obsessed with you.

It must be your bad boy rep, hey?

I've never had a rep.

Except for when I was a teenager.

I... I was just blind for a bit.

- Yeah, well, Lhandi-- What? Wait, what?

- Huh? Oh, uh, I went blind when I was 15.

I'm not sure how.

I think I just got scared. Or maybe it was thunder.

- Is that your whole story? - SUNNY: Hello, Danny.

- Hey, man. Come to The Oasis all weekend.

- Danny, it's me.

- DANNY: Anyone else want a flyer?

- Danny, Sunny Munn Sinclair. - DANNY: Hmm?

- Oh, my gosh, bring it in, would ya?

- Eh... No. Hey, don't!

- That's lit. Come on. - Please.

- Who's this? Are these your new friends?

- I had to hire a new gang, okay?

My friends won't see me

because of those lies you told about me.

- I'm not sure what you're referring to, eh.

Come to The Oasis later. It's gonna be hot.

- Hey, listen to me! Do you know

how hard it is to put together a gang

when people think that you shoot your own men?

- Oh, you should have thought of that

before you shot your own men.

- It never happened! - Right. You know what?

It's... It's always fun to catch up--

- And on top it all--

Listen, I'm not through. - Oh, okay.

- Everyone now thinks I've got a gambling addiction.

"Ooh, Is he gonna gamble?" "Oh, don't go near the pokies."

Can't go into politics, that's out.

- You... You were hoping to... - Yes!

- A pivot from marauding to politics?

- It was my second option.

Careers Day: Marauder, politics.

Third, looking after sick puppies.

- Well, listen, I'm really sorry to hear all of that. But I--

[groans]

- Listen, Doom, a marauder

makes his reputation in two ways.

By being a good guy that people want to work with

or through force.

And if you're not willing to admit you lied about me,

then I'll have to use the latter.

- I always forget what that means.

The latter is...

- The second.

- ...the most recent thing you said?

- Yeah. - Yes.

- Force. - You heard.

- What? I... I don't think we need to escalate.

- No, no, no, no, you go ahead, you big baby bitch!

Danny whipped your ass once and he can whip it again.

Right, everyone? - [crowd laughing, cheering]

- Fine, tomorrow at sunup.

We'll have ourselves a nice duel.

- Sunup? Are you kidding?

- LHANDI: A nice duel to the death...

- DANNY: Not to the death.

- SUNNY: Fine, to the death.

- To the... To the death it is! Good!

- Um, just... Let's just be clear, what time is sunup?

- Sunup, Lhandi.

- She's got a good point. It does change.

You're looking at around about 5:40 a.m. at the moment.

- Right. Okay. 5:40 a.m., everyone.

- Safe bet, 5:30 a.m.

Let's get up at 5:30 a.m. - Let's get up and at 'em.

Get some oatmeal in the belly and get out there. Okay?

- Yeah. A bit of energy. I won't have a shower.

I'll just get up and go. - Shower tonight, you know.

- No, good point. Helps you sleep, too.

So... - I can do the... town bell.

If anyone wants, I can do the town bell.

At like 5:45 a.m.--

- No, I think that some people would want to sleep.

And Larry's working late tonight.

- [indistinct chatter]

- I'm not gonna sleep tonight. It's like...

- [Danny grunts]

God, damn it! Uh... [grunts] - Hey, Danny. Whatcha doin'?

- Sunny booted the bar. You don't have any

super quiet power tools, do you?

- Uh, no, no. You know, I... I was thinking...

if you did lie about that time with Sunny,

why don't you just admit it?

- You think people come to The Oasis for the beer?

They come to hear cool stories from a badass hero.

If that goes away, it's over. So, if you please.

- Yeah, yeah. Mind if I sit? - Ugh.

- I would actually really prefer if you left.

- You know, Danny,

I used to have a reputation myself.

A reputation for being blind.

- You very recently told me this story.

- For years after I became blind...

- Okay, go on.

- ...I pretended that I could still see.

- [Danny grunting]

- Then one morning, I was like,

"I'm sick of this. I'm sick of living a lie."

So I gathered everyone up and I said, "Hey, I'm blind."

And do you think those people forgave me?

- Did they? - No.

- DANNY: What? - They were really mad about it.

- Uh, but-- - It was like a lot worse.

- S-So that's my exact fear!

- And I'll counter that by saying

if fear is what you're afraid of...

then you got it okay.

- I don't-- All right, you know, what?

I feel like...

- It's hard to make those up. [chuckles]

I thought-- I started it and I thought

this was gonna be good.

And then...

- I'm gonna need to be alone now.

- Am I still, like, gonna get paid if you don't--

- Not if I'm dead.

- Right, okay. [chuckles] Good luck.

- He's late. Maybe he's ran away.

- He'll be here, you ugly old addict. [grunts]

- Aah! Hey, I'm not an addict! - [people laughing]

But also, addicts deserve our support.

It shouldn't be an insult. - And yet somehow it is.

Hey! - [people cheering]

- How's it goin', everyone? Sorry I'm late, Sunny.

I, uh, found something on the ground

that I think it belongs to you.

Is it? One second...

[laughter]

Is that yours?

- Yeah, very funny, Doom. Haven't seen that one before.

You know, there's still time to back out.

Just tell the truth. - Okay, well, here's the truth.

I'm gonna beat your ass, Sunny, in front of a bunch of kids,

and they're gonna love it! Right, kids?

- Yeah! - [cheering]

- Oh, Sunny, before we get going here,

I did find something of yours.

Uh, whoops! There it is. It's the same thing.

- Pulling the same prank again?

- I don't know.

- It wasn't funny the first time, mate.

- Pretty funny. All right, how are we doing here, Xanth?

-Uh... - CROWD: Oh!

- PERSON: What? [chuckles]

- I'm gonna stick around for you.

- Get him, Danny! - Ha!

Flinch! Flinch! Flinch! Flinch!

- I'm gonna wear you down, Sunny.

Aah! Oh! Oh!

Oh, my quad. Ow. Ow. Timeout, one second.

I think I pulled a muscle! Oh!

- I'm done with your tricks, Doom.

- Okay, Sunny, wait, I... I did call timeout.

- Is this your hero? - Aah!

- Or is he just a liar who's never won a fight in his life?

- [people gasp]

- Last chance for the truth, Doom.

- Okay, okay, listen. Ow, ow. Okay, everyone, li...

The, eh... the truth is...

- The truth is that Sunny Sinclair got me pregnant!

- [people gasp]

- What? No! Huh. That's not true.

- And then he told me he wouldn't raise the child.

- What is this? - Not even financially.

And I know he comes from money.

- I've never met this woman. Where is that accent from?

- Once he hit it, he just wanted to quit it.

- [people gasp, murmur]

- Don't share a quiet murmur about that!

No, guys!

These guys are friends with my wife.

- Oh, God, it's coming!

- PERSON: Let's rush to her aid. Let's rush to her aid.

- If it's coming, honey, breathe and push.

- It's... Ooh... Aah... the baby!

- Aah! Aah!

Here I am, the baby.

- [crowd gasping, murmuring] - [glugging]

- Oh, come on, that's a fully grown man!

- That's your son, you bastard.

- Yeah... Hey, look. Hey, this guy's a bad guy!

- PERSON: Yeah, that's a bad guy--

- Bad guy!

Bad guy! - Please, stop it.

- CROWD: [chanting] Bad guy... - Look at him.

Even if he was a baby, why would he be born in a nappy?

He's walking! There's no way he'd be doing that so soon?

Not to mention he's got a beard. Come on!

A fully grown, bearded man right out of the shim-sham.

- Well, gang, I'd like to announce that

our first ever Employee of the Week award

goes to Lhandi. - [murmuring]

- For a job well-done, Lhandi. - [giggling]

- Wow, I mean, who'd have guessed

that a blind girl from a small town

would have ended up-- Okay, don't speech--

- Yeah, you just sort of take the award.

- No speech. Right. - There we go.

- Hey, Danny, tell us about the time you bested

that cowardly Sunny Munn Sinclair.

- What, 25 minutes ago? - JEP: Ooh.

- So there I was, standing over the vile

trust-fund creep, Sunny Munn Sinclair.

And let's just say... he had let himself go.

- [laughter] - [Danny speaking indistinctly]

- We'll meet again, Doom. You can count on that.

[cell phone buzzing]

Oh, bloody hell. [inhales sharply]

Hello, darling.

No, no-- Ugh. Please, stop shouting.

No, give me a word.

I never met that girl in my life.

I swear! She was working for Doom.

You know, Danny Doom? The man who wronged me.

What? I have not invented ham-- It's a whole thing.

Well, why can't you be here? If you came outlaw...

No, oh, please, no. - [crow cawing]

- No, no, no, no, no, I don't wanna work

for your father's company.

I don't! I want to be a marauder.

I told you, it's my passion.

Just-- Can you just believe in me? Can't--

I'm not talking to you when you're like this.

[rock music playing]