Original subtitles

It's alive!

Yep.

Oh, will it hurt?

Only if God hates you.

Hey, mamma mia!

The cannoli! Eh, lasagna!

Hey, pasta fagioli! A spicy meatball!

Dude, it's time to pimp your sister.

Oh, yeah! Man, I can't believe...

Yo, man, my sister right in there.

Come pimp that bitch out!

Pimp my Sister

Wait! W-wait! Wait! I have homework.

Hey, ladies!

We gonna pimp you out!

Girl, you got serious librarian hair.

You ever see a ho shop at The Gap?

You got the posture of a lamp post, girl.

We got to give you some prosti-tude.

If we go with a leopard print tank top...

that's a little too southeast Newark.

So we're going with more of a cheetah pattern.

Garter belts ain't just for weddings, honey child.

You can tuck a weapon in there.

At first, I was pretty nervous...

but these hos are all about class.

Sometimes a john will want to do that with you...

and that'll cost $10.

This one... $50.

And this one gonna require a credit card.

- Again! - Don't play me!

- Again! - Don't play me!

All right, Alex. Now, we ain't had a lot to work with here...

but, yo, check out your new sister!

Let me see.

Oh, damn!

Oh, you put the heels... Oh, you got this garter...

Damn!

Oh! Check out the fish nets! Oh, damn!

It's the new me...

not just on the outside, but on the inside, too.

Go and make some money.

You just got to spread your...

It's so hard when they leave. It's so hard.

Hey, y'all! Hey, yo, man!

Yo, come get a piece of my sister!

Who wants to get up in my sister's ass?

Oh, hello, Mr. Johnson.

Hello, Amy. Do you take credit cards?

We'll be dead soon.

Ow. I'm telling my dad.

Welcome to The Surreal Life.

Come on, come on.

Get down.

Let's take a look at what The Surreal Life gang...

has been up to recently.

We were really excited to participate...

in the Iditarod dogsled race...

till one of the dogs fell in love with Manny Mo.

Help! The dog...

Let's see what's in store for our Surreal Life folks today.

We have to take the one ring...

and destroy it in the fires of Mount Doom.

Wait, something's coming!

There's no way I'm doing this.

Somebody better get me a cab 'cause I'm going...

We must helps them.

They's our friend.

They hates Manny Mo.

No, they loves us.

If they dies, we go get pizza.

Yep, yep, come and get it, oh, yeah

Back to the fires that forged you, evil trinket!

Corey, you saved me, bro.

You can burn in hell. I just want the ring.

Corey, no!

Oh, bro!

Oh, friends, remember me fondly...

in Stand By Me and in The Lost Boys...

only the first half.

Wait, and Friday the 13th was pretty good...

Next time on The Surreal Life...

Well, Ron and I had to check out a suspicious meteor.

Boo!

You didn't think it'd be that easy, did you?

Chocolate chicken eggs for everyone!

One, two, three, four!

We love it when our players score!

Five, six, seven, eight!

Double entendres are really great!

I want to go to Dallas, but I don't have any money.

We're such good friends...

we'll have sex with people for money and give it to you.

Yeah!

Oh, best friends forever!

We're soaking wet from washing your car, Mr. Thrustbone.

Is there anything else we can do for you?

I'll give you $20 for all of us to go crazy.

Wow!

$20 in 1978 dollars is a lot.

Yeah!

Yeah! Oh, you look just like my daughter's friends.

Oh, yeah.

Watch out for the icing.

Dang it.

We raised $39!

That's exactly enough to get to Dallas.

Yay! I'm finally in Dallas.

Oh, I wonder how much it is to get back.

I'm stepping down the ladder and...

Uh-oh!

Uh-oh, I'm falling.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm falling on the moon.

Yes, I'm...

falling on the moon.

OK, uh, hailing frequencies are open.

Hurray!

Is he gonna do it again?

Wrong, your reservations are.

For us to listen to Ray Griffiths...

the actor who played the power droid in Episode IV...

this is room is scheduled.

I reserved room A-2 to watch the Star Trek blooper reel...

where DeForest Kelley grabs Majel Barrett's chest.

The Prime Directive demands that you leave the premises.

The Prime Directive sucks.

You suck, you nerf herder!

Ooh, Seven of Nine.

I heard one William Shatner...

is going to do a guest spot on Enterprise...

and not as Kirk!

You take that back!

Gentlemen, gentlemen, we could discuss this logically.

Excuse me, I'm Ray Griffiths.

Oh, my face!

You kids stop. No fighting.

Oh! Get off me. Ow.

My neck, my spine. Oh, no, not like this.

Excuse me, but are you gentlemen...

engaged in a game of LARP... live action role-playing?

I happen to be an old hand at it.

Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

Fire! Fire!

Excuse me, that's impolite.

Stop!

Oh, that's it!

All systems ready.

Don't worry, Mr. Schumacher, we'll get you out of here.

Joel Schumacher is history's greatest monster.

- Get him! - Let's get him!

Got him!

I got him!

Keep it coming.

OK, got it. Got it.

Get another one. Get me another one.

Shame on you. You've all forgotten...

the true meaning of fandom.

We should take joy in our loves, not argue about them.

Son of a bitch!