Original subtitles

My stepmom, Crystal, struggled to move on after my dad passed.

But she's about to step back into the dating world and needs my help.

She's my stepmom after all.

And I love helping her pick her outfits.

It's just me and her now.

I don't even know why she wants to date anyone.

Like, we're fine just the way things are.

Just the two of us.

Are you done yet?

Yes, yes.

Okay.

What do you think of this one?

Oh, um... You think this is good for the speed dating?

It's a little revealing, don't you think? Revealing? I mean, I thought it

was sexy.

Um... You don't think so?

I don't know. It's like... I think it just shows a little too much skin.

Well, sweetheart, I'm not a nun. I mean, I'm going to try to get a date.

Yeah, but...

Why are you even going to that? You know, those speed dating things are for

losers.

That's rude.

I'm sorry.

I mean, you know I've been lonely ever since your dad's passing, and this seems

like a good way to meet a bunch of people in a really safe environment.

Um, I mean, I guess.

So you don't like this outfit?

I mean, do you have anything else?

Yeah. Yeah, give me a second.

Um, okay.

Fucking speed dating.

Who even goes to that shit?

Fucking speed dating. You have like two minutes to talk to someone. How are you

going to make a connection in two minutes?

How's this?

Is this better?

Um. Yeah, you know. Yeah? You like this one more? I do like that one a lot more.

Yeah, I think this one is really nice. This is definitely the one.

Will you help me put on my necklace?

Uh, yeah, sure. Stand up.

Here.

Oh, oops.

Oh. Oh, gosh.

Oh.

Uh. Oh.

Um, sweetheart.

I'm sorry.

Um, you should probably handle that.

Um. Yeah, sorry about that. I probably should. It's not appropriate to, you

know, be getting those around me anymore.

Well, I mean, was it appropriate after the funeral?

You're right.

You know what?

Here, I'll just, I'll help you before I go. Okay?

Really? Yeah.

I'll help you.

Okay. We just, we can't keep doing this, you know.

After the funeral, I was vulnerable.

I was sad. I just lost your dad. I feel like you felt the same way.

I just, you know, we just can't keep doing this.

Especially, you know, now that I'm ready to start dating.

It feels really good when you do it.

Thanks, sweetheart.

I mean, I am going to miss our time together.

I promise, though, we will still always have Friday nights together, even if I

start dating. And who knows? I might not even find anybody at this thing.

You promise?

I promise. I might not.

I mean, like you said, these speed dating things always have so many

losers, like you said. Not that I'm one of those sad losers. No.

But... You know, maybe I'll find someone, maybe I won't. It's something

to do. Plus, my friend Sharon's going to go with me.

That's good.

Sharon's cool.

Yeah.

Oh, shit.

I'm getting close.

You're getting close?

Yeah. Oh, fuck.

Are you going to come?

Okay. Well, I'm going to finish getting ready and get to the event, okay?

Yeah, yeah.

So you think this one?

Yeah, definitely.

Thank you, sweetie.

Yeah. Good luck out there.

Are you still getting ready?

Okay, what do you think of these shoes with the straps? Do they go together?

I mean, yeah. I'm so nervous. I can't believe I'm going on my first date in,

like, years.

Since I was dating your father.

I mean, yeah, it looks fine, I guess. Yeah? You like it?

Do you think he's gonna like it?

Oh, I bet.

Yeah?

Um... I don't know, I just... You're kind of just... Ditching me tonight.

What do you mean? I'm not ditching you.

Yeah, you're ditching me to go out with some stranger.

He's not a stranger, Bruce Dan. I met him at the speed dating thing, and we've

been texting.

I mean, I guess that still makes him a stranger, but I'm getting to know him.

I don't know. I think the whole thing sounds really lame.

Well, I mean, he invited me to a really nice dinner tonight.

It'd be rude to turn it down.

I really like him.

Well, I just don't get it. I mean, like, for the past year, it's been you and I.

I just don't understand, like... I mean, sweetheart, you have to understand.

I'm still your stepmom, and I kind of have needs, too.

I've been really lonely since your dad's passing, and really just kind of want to

see someone...

My own speed, you know, in my age range.

Well, I guess. I was going to say that's what I'm here for.

I know, but, you know, you're in college now.

I'm sure there's tons of girls at your university that you would love to spend

time with, you know. So I appreciate that you want to spend time with me. And

you've been an incredible pillar of support since your dad. But, you know.

It's just nice to go out with someone who's a little older.

I guess. I just... I'm afraid you might, like, give him something you haven't,

like, given me.

What do you mean?

You're my stepson. I'd give you anything.

Um... I don't know. I just don't know how I feel about this one.

Sweetheart. I mean, would it make you feel better if I had him come inside and

he picks me up?

What can I do? What can I do? I just don't understand what I could possibly

give him that I haven't given you. You could stay in and we could just hang

out. Sweetheart. I mean, look, you know what?

We could do that tomorrow night. We could do that tomorrow night. We can

stay in and watch a movie together.

Just like, you know, our usual Friday night.

I guess. I don't know. It's just, I don't know. You're just kind of leaving

me here all alone.

I know you're not trying to, but you are. You're just kind of ditching me,

and then I'll be here by myself all night.

Sweetheart, that's not my intention.

But, you know, someone needs a little time to do other things.

I mean, I guess. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around it.

Well, I mean, what would make you feel better about this?

What is it you're so stressed about and feeling so insecure about?

You're not going to lose me.

Yeah, I guess.

You're right.

Yeah, I don't know. It's just like, I don't know. It just sucks to see you get

so excited for someone else.

Lady.

Well, you're probably going to suck his dick, too.

Sweetheart. What? I saw you practicing on your dildo over there.

You what?

Yeah, you were like, gawk, gawk, gawk.

That's so inappropriate.

And that's none of your business.

Well, I don't know.

Well, I mean, what does me... One, it's the first date. So who said I'm even

going to do that anyway? What kind of girl do you think your stepmom is?

And second, I don't know why that would be any concern to you. It's not like I

haven't you enough.

Well, I don't know. I think you're going to suck his dick.

And that's what you're feeling so insecure about?

That's what you're jealous about?

No.

Sounds pretty convincing.

You know what? Fine.

If it makes you feel better, I'll suck your dick before I go on the date.

Yeah, I'll suck your dick right now. I'll give you something you've never

gotten before. If that makes you get over whatever this is and be okay with

me dating someone my own age.

Stand up. Stand up. Okay.

But you have to promise never to mention this ever again. We're already really

pushing it close.

We're really pushing it close already with...

The hand jobs and stuff.

Yeah, totally.

You have to promise you'll never tell anybody about this. No. You've already

been doing a lot of inappropriate stuff.

Yeah, but of course not. And you definitely can never mention this to my

date. No. I don't know where this is going to go, but... I can't believe

you're doing this.

Well, I mean, if it makes you feel better about me going out into the world

and starting to date...

I mean, I'll do anything to make you feel better.

Like you do for me.

Anything? Mm-hmm.

Will these help a bit?

yeah that

was really good

I haven't even done this in so long.

Are you happy now?

Can I go on my date without feeling guilty?

Yeah, of course you can.

Yeah.

All right.

I'm going to go fix my makeup a little bit, and then I think I'm good to go.

Awesome. Yeah, have fun.

All right.

Thank you, sweetheart.

Yeah. Bye.

What do you think of this one from my first adult slumber party? I'm so

excited. I can't believe he invited me to stay the night so he can make me

breakfast in the morning.

What is that?

Pajamas.

Don't you think they're sexy?

They're very silky.

Um... Yeah, I don't know. I don't... I mean... You don't like them?

No, I think they look kind of dumb, to be honest.

Oh.

Like... Like, you thought, like, he would like those?

Or... Well, I mean, they were silky. I thought they were sexy.

They kind of look like scrubs. Like you're going to work or something.

Oh.

I have more pajamas.

You want to see?

Do you? Okay, yeah.

Okay. All right. You will see.

All right. I have something so sexy, any man would want me to sleep over and

bring me...

I think this one is great. We'll see.

If it's anything like the last pair, I'm not sure.

Adult sleepover.

Who wears pajamas to an adult sleepover?

What? What does that even mean?

Hurry up.

Okay, okay. Jeez.

What do you think of this?

Whoa. Yeah?

It's a little much.

You think this is a little much?

I think it's sexy.

Would you want to make me breakfast?

I mean, I would, yeah.

You don't think he would?

I don't know.

I just think it's not my favorite, you know?

I have one more. I need one more.

Oh, okay.

Can you hurry up, please?

I don't know why you're being so grumpy about this.

Okay, so take a deep breath. This one's kind of... I mean, if you thought the

other one was revealing, this one's a lot revealing. But it is really sexy,

and I don't know necessarily if it's sleeping clothes, but... What

do you think?

Do you think you'd like this?

Are you serious?

You like it?

Um... I mean... Fuck.

Um... Are you sure you gotta go out on this sleepover date?

Well, yeah!

I mean, I'm so excited. It's like an adult sleepover. We're gonna wake up. He

wants to make me breakfast.

I think it's sweet.

But I mean, I could make you breakfast.

True, you have. You've made me breakfast.

Yeah, like, I don't understand why, you know, like, you gotta go and find

another guy to go make you breakfast.

Sweetie, I mean, it's more than just the breakfast.

Like, I'm excited to share a bed with someone. You know, it gets kind of

lonely sleeping by myself.

Well, you know, I'm always down to come sleep with you. You just gotta tell me.

Shoot me a text.

But you're my stepson, sweetie. Like, we've already been kind of in a...

appropriate this whole year.

Yeah, so sleeping together, just sleeping, that would mean, like,

nothing. I mean, but they have other needs that are more than just sleeping.

Well, I, and I could meet those, too.

But you're my stepson.

I mean. And you're in college.

I mean, am I even, like, your stepson if my dad's dead?

Are we not more like roommates? I mean, I guess.

That is a good point.

I just don't understand why you need someone else. It's like, I'm perfectly

fine and I'm right here, you know?

I mean, are you really upset about this?

I wouldn't call it upset. I'm just kind of concerned, you know, for you and

stuff.

I don't understand. Why would you be concerned for me?

He's a nice guy.

I mean, we barely know him, and you're spending the night at his home.

I mean, I've been dating him this whole month.

I don't know. It's just, it's not sitting right.

Well, what can I do to make you feel better about this, then?

Well, you could not go on that date, for starts.

Sweetheart.

Let's be more realistic.

I'm not going to cancel my date just because you're feeling a little left

out.

I mean, a little left out?

You're going to find a whole new life without me. That's not true. What are

you talking about? Don't say that. That's not true.

I think it is. It's not true. Yeah, you're getting ready to move on.

I'm not.

Yeah, I mean, look.

You know what?

I have an idea. Fine.

Fine, fine, fine. If you're so worried about it.

You're worried about me having sex with him, aren't you?

Well, I mean, we've never had sex, so it's like, um, we

should or something like that, you know?

You're my stepson.

I think it's really lame that this rando gets to.

Well, you know what? Will you stop complaining about it if we try? And then

you'll see it doesn't work, and it's nothing special, and you let me go on my

date. Will that make you feel better?

Um, yes.

Really?

Yeah, I think we should at least give it a try.

Because, I don't know.

I think it's something fair.

Okay.

Fine, fine. Get on the bed.

Yeah, I will.

Get on the bed.

Okay,

sweetie.

Oh, yeah.

Damn.

Can't believe we're gonna do this.

I feel like we've been toying with it all year but

I can't believe we're about to do this.

Shit.

Shit.

You know what?

At the same time, you're still my stepson.

But I feel like it's just so wrong.

What do you say?

Yeah. Please.

Oh, shit.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

Oh, you're really writing me.

Oh, I cannot believe I'm taking this.

That's so sick.

Fuck. Fuck.

You take it so good.

Jeez. Yes.

Oh, shit.

Oh, my God.

Really good Oh

Please, yes.

Oh my God.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck, dude, it feels so good.

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, you feel so good?

Fuck. Oh my god.

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Fuck.

Oh my god, sweetie.

Fuck.

Yes.

That's so good.

Oh, fuck, sweetheart.

Oh, my God, you're so fucking deep.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit, sweetheart.

Oh, fuck. I don't know why we weren't doing this sooner.

It's so fucking good.

Yeah.

So tight. Shit.

Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Yes.

Oh, my God, sweetheart.

Fuck yes.

Oh, yeah.

You should call your date and tell him you can't make it.

What do you mean?

You should call your date and tell him you can't make it.

Yeah? Yeah. Yeah, call him right now.

Oh, fuck.

You're right. This is too good.

I don't need sex with someone else. No. With you.

I'm trying to tell you.

Fuck, it's raining. Oh, my God.

Oh, hey.

Hey, Jonathan.

Yeah, so... No, no, no, no. I'm just at the gym.

I just don't think I'm going to make it tonight for the... Yeah, yeah, yeah. I

know you said you wanted to make me breakfast in the morning, but... No, no,

we don't need to reschedule any time. You know, I'll call you back.

I'll call you back. I just don't think I'm going to make it tonight.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. All right.

Okay. All right. I'll talk to you later.

Okay, buddy.

Fuck. Oh, my God.

Fuck. I cannot believe I just called someone in the middle of having sex.

Fuck. Oh, my God.

Fuck. It's so good.

Yes. Oh,

fuck, sweetheart.

Oh, my God.

Oh,

fuck, sweetie.

Oh, it's so fucking good. What do you say you fuck me now?

Yeah. Yeah?

Oh my God. Yeah.

Oh shit. Sweetheart.

Oh fuck. Yes.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

I'm so glad I'm not going on that date. I just want to stay home and fuck you.

Thank you.

It's so good.

Oh my god,

it's

so good

Yeah.

You fucking come inside me. Yeah. Yeah, I want you to give me all your fucking

cum. Bless your load of me.

Yes, yes, yes.

Oh, I want to be dripping all my stepson's cum.

Yeah, fucking give it to me.

Fucking give it to me.

Oh, I'm coming. I'm coming. I'm coming.

I just did that.

I guess I really don't need to be going on any dates, huh?

No,

I'm right here.