Original subtitles

Sub synced and edited by: PEEAN91

It seem like only yesterday the party would go on forever

but in just 12 short months the place known as America's Spring Break Capital

has become a virtual ghost town.

Who can forget the devastating attack on Lake Victoria that left scores of young

people dead and a community in shocked and who

could've guess that this hell on earth

would be rocked by a species of Piranha believed to be

extinct for the 2 million years

A massive eradication program have left these waters once teeming with life

silence and dead after a massive exorcist most property abandoned

the local economy

fell in ruins. Lake Victoria is now a quarantine area only weeds grow on

beaches where thousand once soaked-up the sun and the only boats that remained

are dusty relics littering the shoreline.

As we look back from the anniversary of this tragic event, we left to wonder

if it happened here can it happen again?

and if so, where?

I got my foot stuck

-There she is right there -Is she dead?

You got big

Yeah, I took second place in gunning last year

Oh hell, it something around its belly, find out whats going on down there

There's something in there

-Holy-fine-baby-shit -God-damn-piece-of-crap

I got a lighter, that smell is awful

That's just a gas you damn coward

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Get away

Hey, it's time to get wet again

Come on down, all my girls are hot and single

and ready to party with someone like you

-You! -Put her down boys

So, if you want to cool off, come on down to the hottest hole in town

3 words for you, THE BIG WET

Remember double D's swims free

-Oh boy, hold on. Shut it!, shut it! -Cut!

-Hey! -Hai

I've to cut some off the pass, here you go

Keep them wet

-and are you guys friends of someone -Maddy

Get over here and give your step dad a hug

Chet, tell me you did not fire our old

life guards and replace them with strippers

-Water-certified strippers -Really?

-More than that pumpkin -Unbelievable

Hey listen, before you sweet mother died God-bless her soul,

she made me promised her to keep this water park running

I am just going to make sure that I provide

for you as well as she did, I'm your daddy now, we're so lucky to have each other

Wow Chet sometimes I think you really believe whats coming out of your mouth

Believe me doll, you're going to love this

Adult pool?

We are going to make BIG on this

-What do you think? -I think this is very expensive joke

World's first strip club in a water park, that's a stroke of genius

No, no, no

Oh, don't worry about that, we put a little bit of

chlorine, sulfuric acid into the pool,

it sanitizes everything

Hey Kiki, why don't you get your ass out of the pool

Russian, she's a doctor

Keep you eyes over there on the flat screen TV

Check it out

That is disgusting

-Do not touch it -I'm getting rid of it

Don't you touch it

That's not your call

Don't you forget that i'm still half owner of this place

Oh! Is that right? Raise your hand if you own 51% of this Water Park

Now, raise your hand if your 49% minority on it, that's you

-Hey guys -Hey Maddy

How are you

Well this is a summer show she finally obtained from accidents

Shut up!

She's afraid to have sex because her slutty cousin

Stop it!

Here he comes, the boy is going to pop her cherry

He just doesn't know it yet

Stop it

Hey Maddy, what do you think of all the changes around here?

-Josh meet Monique. Hi -Come on

What am I? The last guy to know you're back?

Hi

-How are you? -I miss you Me too

Bet you wish you were in grad school this summer huh?

-I can't believe what Chet done -I know

This place is everything to me, working here, hanging out

I know, I miss those moments too

So look now that you're back

Hey you guys are you sure that such a good idea?

Better not be any underage drinking going on here

Come on man, I'm on duty

We got fireworks, decent exposure, probable drugs, definite drugs

Major had to rate you off

I don't see what he has that I don't have

6 inches and a badge?

I heard you're back in town so I figured I stop by and say hi

and I also feel that I should say something about that time we talked

You don't have to, long distance relationship real.....

-but you're back now -For the summer

Shouldn't you be interested in something

-I got be on duty, so... -Okay

Welcome back

-I have a little party tonight -Yeah. Yeah me too

I love the water

It's a really...

wet

-What are you thinking about? -Nothing much

Lets take off all our clothes and go swimming

Okay cool, sure

-Turn around -Right, sorry

Shelby

Shelby

Shelby

-Are coming in or what? -Yeah, I'm coming

No funny stuff, okay?

Alright

-What are you doing? -You want some of this?

-You want some? -You're not suppose to splash me back

-What? -I just felt something

-Is that you? -What are you talking about?

-What're you doing? -I didn't

-Well what ever it is I don't like it -I didn't do anything

-Shelby, where are you going? -I'm cold, I'm getting out

-You have to do it -Okay fine

Dear Lord,

-Come on -Okay, dear Lord

Please forgive us for what we are about to do

We each know that having relations before marriages is a sin

but

We know that we'll be forgiven for it

because...

we're praying about it

-Amen -Amen

-You can fuck me now -Amen

-Look at this -What?

Do you like that?

It's mine

Don't make me cuff the other one

-We're moving ,Travis -I know

-I know -No

Look, you idiot

-Ashley, are you okay? -Yeah, the water coming in

-Give me the key for the cuff -Ah! It must have fallen out

-Find it now -Where is it?

Shit! Shit! Shit!

Damn it!

-Key for the damn cuff -I should go for help

-No -I cannot see anything

I'm sorry

Ashley, hit the door light and keep looking

damn

What are you doing? Get over here

-Ashley! -I going to call for help

Get back here What are you doing?

Ashley! Damn!

Travis

Travis

Travis

Help

There's something in the water

Help! Anybody

Ashley! Help!

Travis, What's going on?

Are you there?

Travis! Travis!

Ashley...

Oh my God

Oh my God, help

Oh my God. Please! Is anybody out there?

Anybody?

-I am sorry, I'm just... -No It's cool, I don't mind hanging out

You know, it's not you, it's just that..

Do you think that Ashley is prettier than me

-No -Most guys do

Well I never liked girls with big breasts

Welcome back Maddy

-Dave -Yo man

-What the fuck are you doing? -The hole where the water comes out

-Oh God man -It's so wet

Hey Shelby, have you seen Ashley or Travis?

-Neither one of them punch in this morning -No, I haven't seen either of them

I don't know

Just a sec

-You okay? -I just feel a little weird

-It's okay -Here, let me help you

No no I'm fine, really

Are you okay?

Well look who has morning sickness

Nice work papa

Nobody was inside Shel

-I'm sure they're just fine -Probably shaken up and..

scare they're going to get in trouble

No

Come on, Ash, pick up

-Hello its Ash, leave a message -Shit, call me

Is there anywhere else they might have gone?

No, I don't think so

I'm just going to go

Ashley is my best friend

I know she kinda of a slut

She's still in love with my ex-boyfriend

I'm pretty sure she also stole a pairs of

earrings that my grandmother gave me before she dies

but we kinda like sisters

What is that?

Oh my God

We have to get off this thing right now, hurry

Come on, Shelby

Come on Shelby

grab my hand

Alright, come on, I got you

Oh my God, come on

Oh my God

Quickly

Lets go, we're almost there

No, no, no

Come back Shelby

Come here

You going to have to jump

Come on

You going to have to jump

Let go

Hurry it's just a foot

Alright, I got you

Oh my god

-What is this thing? -Maddy?

What the fuck is that?

-Oh my God -Shit

-Is that a fucking Piranha? -My father

worked construction of a dam

they found fossil like this when they first broke ground

-He gave me on my birthday -I telling you man it was a Piranha

How did they get from Lake Victoria to our lake?

That what we got to find out

What?

Look at us the cop and the marine biologist

I'm sorry but it sound like a shitty sitcom

The cop and the marine biologist

You're still wet

A little, yeah

Can you open the door?

Kyle, Open the door

Just fooling around

It's funny

dick

Who are you? Why are you here?

Sir, we saw you on YouTube

You and 11,486,000 other people

I have 700 more hits than the laughing diarrhea baby

We need your expertise Mr. Goodman

Why?

We think they're back

Cross Lake isn't even connected to Lake Victoria

The Piranha must be migrating through underground lakes and rivers

I have studied this specimen for almost a year

You evil

I think you might find this interesting

Okay, this is galvanized steel

like ordinary household plumbing

there we go

now with some incentive

-No, no, not the Frog -Sorry

I sold out of puppies as a boy

Now I think this is quite resourceful

watch

Now just something to grab

-You fuck -Barry, are you crazy?

-You almost lost a hand -I had a pet frog once

-Come on, help me -Really?

-Now, lets check some data -What're you thinking?

These Piranha spent eons living in underground

lake and rivers full of sulfur dioxide

from all the geothermal activity

that's how they come back to spore

-They follow the rotten eggs smell -Yes

Problem is sulfur dioxide is

commonly released during the shipment of chlorinating water

So its inconceivable that the fish could become confused

and to enter man-made drainage systems

especially with those shocking abundance of back yard pools

Our water park drain directly into Cross lake

That's like equivalent to thousands of swimming pools

That would be a very bad thing

Did you tell anyone that this could happen?

I tried, but unfortunately

I lost some credibility after my last book "Foretold Dreadful..

Plague of Walking Fish"

Oh that’s right, you wrote fish walk among us

I loved that book

This is really great

Well thank you

Thanks

Barry

You read a marine biology book?

Well I want to see what you so interested in

Look guys, we got to check the drains of the outflow pipe to the lake

tonight

I could get a dive team up here of 10 people by tomorrow

No, that's too late.

The water park opens tomorrow

That place is going to be packed

if the fishes are getting through the drain system

that would make Lake Victoria look like an appetizer

Guys we got to get out there right now

Thank you so much for your help Mr. Goodman

Thank you

-Thank you, sir, It's an honor -Okay, be well

11,888,000 hits

Take that laughing diarrhea baby

The two teen Ashley Sowerby and Travis Mitchell

were reported missing this morning after their van was pull out of

Cross Lake. No bodies were found

-Thanks for letting me stay here -No, it was totally cool

How are you felling?

-A little better -You don't seem any better

Hey what is it?

It just this stress of the whole Ashley thing

Make love to me

-Please -Right now?

Please Josh, right now

I think something is really wrong with me

I feel a little bit better

I don't want to die a virgin

Josh, I want to be with you

Come inside me. I'll do what ever you said after that

The outflow pipe down there lead directly to the water park

I got to check them out

Considering how bad-crazy this is, right?

I got to take a look

I'll be quick

Look about what I'm trying to say last night

Are you coming in? Because I could really use a spotter

-What? -I mean if you're

-It's okay -No no I'm not scared

I can't swim

You work in the water park and you can't swim?

What about all the beach parties in high school or the parties at the park

You never

My god Barry, I totally would've taught how to swim

I know, you seemed kinda busy at the time

not a big deal

Toss me that torch light

Yes, I know, that is what I said Chet

Chet Chet listen

I'll find you

Are you sure you want to do this?

No

You let her go in there alone?

-Fuck off Connor -Oh yes, Barry can't swim

Maddy

-Maddy -Maddy

Dive, Maddy

No

-Shit -Get out of the away, get back

-Are you okay? -I think so

Yes

Don't worry, I wont break

-I'm sorry, I'm sorry -No, It's ok

I like it. Keep going

-Oh god Shelby -Fuck me

Oh my God, yes

-Oh my God -Oh my God

-Come on -Oh my God

-Oh my God -Something's wrong

-Oh my god -Something's wrong

Almost there, almost there

Fuck

What the fuck is on my dick?

Oh my God

Oh my God

Damn, what's this?

Damn it

Oh my God

This is disgusting

Oh Jesus

Josh

I feeling a little better now, Josh?

Josh

Josh

I think I had an accident

Josh

Josh, what are you doing?

Oh my God

Josh

Josh

Josh

Josh

Josh

What the hell did you do to me?

You're going seventy miles there buddy

Don't you have some place else better to be?

-Like boning my step daughter -I'll get to that

First thing first

-You're all good, for now -Well you're looking for a raise?

With any luck your little theme park is going

to take off and i'm going to live off deputy salary forever

So, we're good here?

Yeah, did you check those outflow pipe at the lake?

Maddy did

She almost got herself killed

How about the grades, they're still intact?

Should be good, unless there are another way in the park

-Like that boot leg weld you drilled -Don't you worry about that

I do worry Chet

I'm the one protecting your unlawful ass

Let me tell you something

Why don't you worry keeping Maddy and Johnny law off my ass

-I'll take care of my Water Park -Okay

-Have a nice night deputy -You too Chet

-Oh by the way -What in the hell is this?

-I told you were speeding -Are you shitting me?

Just doing my job

You're a crooked cop

What a night huh

So um..

You an Kyle, I guess you get back together

No, definitely not

I don't think so, probably not

must be hard to make that decision

Kinda did, didn't I

Josh cut off his penis because something came out of my vagina

Should we coming too short the nurses are going to take you guys back

You guys can probably go Josh is still sedated

and I'm going to stick around to take a statement

I'll let you you guys know if I found anything out

How's Shelby?

She's not making a lot of sense right now but

I'll keep an eye on her too

How about you, you alright?

I'm pretty tired

Get some rest and I'll call you

I'm a Love Hunter, hear what I say

Get on your knees learn how to play

Cause a Love Hunter is coming to take you away

Love Hunter coming today

That is so sad

Come to bed, Hoffy It's nappy time

I'm a Love Hunter hear what I'll say

Looks like Donna is ready to play

I'm Rachel

-I'm Donna -Right

I'm a love Hunter

Two chicks for me

because I am the brightest stars on TV

Yeah, lets party

Welcome to Rock Bottom

Sorry, can you get this thing open?

Wait

I do not know if I can do this

All you is keep baby steps, little baby steps

What the hell are talking about baby steps for?

In case you haven't know fish ate my damn legs

I hate water, I hate it

Remember what doctor Smith's said

This is all about the road to recovery strut out with harmless little kiddy pool

I mean, what the worst that could happen

Couple of kids will do to you, that's all

Kids...

I can handle that

I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water

I'm not afraid of some punk-ass water

I can't

Don't worry about it, we'll figure out something else

No, this is weak

-Dump me in the water -What?

You heard what I said, get behind the seat, grab the handles

and dump my sorry ass in the water

The way the parent toss their kid into the pool

when they want to swim

This is a great idea

Alright I can do this

-One, two -Stop

-Okay okay right, what happened? -Why you stop?

-You said stop -Don't listen to my pussy-ass-mouth

No matter what I'll say, dump me into the water

Okay got it

Not going to listen to your pussy-ass-mouth

I mean you don't have a pussy-ass-mouth

Dump me in the water

Okay, here we go One, two..

Ah shit, no no I changed my mind

No, no you're going in

I changed my mind, I don't want to go in the water

I don't want to go in the water

-You're going in -Hey

Leave him alone

No no he wants to go in

No, no the hell I do

I don't want to go in

What's wrong with you? Don't push that poor legless stump in the pool

Yeah, that's right don't push this poor legless stump in the pool

Okay, you know what, you going to go in the water....

No, I don’t want to go

Not cool man

I'm not afraid of some punk-ass-water

Not cool at all

Ladies and gentlemen Boys and girls

Hot moms of all ages

Welcome to the BIG WET

and now the moment you all been waiting for

The most famous life guard of all time

Who wants to party with the Hoff?

Welcome David Hasselhoff

David Hasselhoff

Ladies

You know ladies if you play your card right

You may get private mouth to mouth resuscitation

Alright without any further a do

Lets all get wet and wild

How are you doing? feeling good?

Come here, gorgeous, my dear

You're beautiful, you're beautiful

kiss of life

Goodbye now

I knew it

What are you doing back here Maddy?

I saw this when I was taking inventory but

But I didn't think to ask why it's here until now

Well we pumping our own water now fuck the utilities right?

You can't fill this Water Park off a well

It's not a standard well

We drilled down a whole lot further hit an underwater lake

We got enough water to last until forever

You have no idea what you've done

Oh sure I did, got us a nice big fat profit

You don't understand, you could be

pumping out Piranhas straight through the water intake pipes

Maddy, its opening day

I have shelled out a hundred thousand dollars

And you want me to close shop because there might

Might be Piranha in the pipe. What else?

Ghosts? Boogieman? Sharks? Snakes?

You're laughable. Laughable Come on kid..

You been watching too many movies little girl

You should read romance novels

Are we done? I got work to do

-Mommy I got bit -Let me see

Oh honey, you just scrape yourself on something

Go tell a life guard, he'll get you a bandage

-No mom, it was a Piranha -It was not a Piranha

What too many people been talking about Piranha

Now scoot

Hello, hello

-Hello, hey -Hey

-I got bit by a Piranhas -What's your name, kid?

-David -David

That's pretty cool that my name too

Here you go

-What's this? -Autograph

-Can I just have a bandage? -Wait a minute

-You don't know who I am? -No

You never saw Baywatch? Running in slow motion

-How about Night Rider? -No

Talking car? Anaconda 3?

Jekyll and Hyde on Broadway?

-What? -Mr. Hasselhoff

Hey back off, I'm talking to my made man here

-You really have no idea who I am? -Yeah, you're a life guard

and I need a bandage

Can I have a bandage for my made man David here please?

Sponge bob?

I just going to get the bandage tomorrow

I'm a life guard

-Are you okay? -I saw a fish in the splash pool

I know this is crazy but it was a Piranha.

Like the one on the news. I swear to god

Everybody out of the pool

You got to get them out of the pool. Right now

Hey, no running

Game over Chet, we got to shut the Water Park down right now

What sort of no fucking way don't you hear?

A woman saw a Piranha in the splash pool

Did you see it? Did you see it?

-No -You got nothing

I'm evacuating this Water Park whether you like it or not

Maddy, Maddy, Maddy

Chet's right, okay

You just going to cause more panic

-I'm sorry, whose side are you on? -I'm on a side that being calm

-Lets just go check things up okay? -You don't believe me

I'm the one who called you and you don't fucking believe me

Come on kids get out of the pool, please get out of the Water Park

Please just get out of the water

Maddy, I can't let you do this

Let go of me

What the fuck are you doing man? Let her go

What are going to do shark boy huh?

Fuck me with your fucking child-ding?

Let me give you a piece of advice buddy

You going to need a bigger one

Come on

Oh my God

Come on, go, go

They're back, they're back

They'll find you, they always fucking find you

No matter where you go

Bring me my legs son

Titanium motherfuckers

Eat this

-I hate the water -I hate fish

Help, help, help me

Heffy, people are dying You're a life guard, do something

I'm not a life guard, never was one

Help, help me, help

-When are you going to help? -Once these idiots get out of the water

Its not like the fish are going to follow them home

Help me, help

Help me

You went back into the water, you little ginger moron

Heffy, you're a life guard man

Holy fuck, I'm getting old

I got you

I'm here to rescue

I actually am doing the rescue

Can you put me down now?

Chet

Chet

You see them? You see them now?

We got to drain the pool

Hey Barry, Barry

I need you to go and pump out and force drain a pool

I've never done that before

It's easy, there are levers, they are down

You push them straight up

-I got it -Thanks

Wait, no matter what happens

I loved you since 7th grade. I always will

I thought you were gay

Really?

I have to get out of here

This is not my fault

-You fucking slut -Help me

Get off me

Hey yo, come over here

Hey man, look at my ass

-Holy shit -What ever it is, just get it out

This is going to hurt. You ready? One, two

Ahhhh...

Okay, come on, come on we got to get to the pump

Sorry, kid

It's not my fault

Holy shit

Out of the way

Okay, listen, listen.

I want you to get all first aid supply and bring them outside

Got it?

You got it? Go

I need first aid

-Maddy -Help

Maddy, Maddy. Come here

-Help me -I'm promise you I didn't know

-What are talking about? -The well

Chet promised that he gives me 35% of the profits

-If I turn a blind eye -Just help me get out of here please

-I did not know it -Help. Please

-Please just help me -The park

-The park -Please help me

Kyle, please

-I can't do this -Please help me

No, no, don't don't

Please help me

-Maddy, where's Maddy? -She's gone I couldn't save her

-Help me. Help me -Maddy. Maddy

Okay

Be a man, Kyle

Maddy

This was a bad idea

Barry?

Save a Life. Save a life, Kyle

Need a hero?

I got you, oh my god

Get out of the pool Oh my God

Medic

I need a medic

Maddy?

Maddy

No body munches something off Dave ass

Adios evil fish

How the hell did you bought a shotgun leg?

The money I paid off socks

Hello

Maddy, you're not going to believe this

I was right. They are evolving

They learning to walk

Yes, I know

David

-David, get away from that thing -Mom, it's okay

It's slow on land

Oh my God

Little ginger moron

Sub synced and edited by: PEEAN91

David Hasselhoff

FISH HUNTER

Rivers fulls of sulfur oxide

Look guys we got to check the drain outflow pipe...

Look guys we got to check the drain outflow...

Fuck me

Fish-hunter

Okay

Can we get a little tighter?

He's going to take his glasses off

Alright, either that or I'm going

to wait for the drums to come

do that

You ginger little moron

You..you ginger

-You little ginger moron -Fuck

Alright. You ginger little moron

Why are you laughing?

I'm a love Hunter

-Oh God, shit -Hello

Camera's crazy, where is it?

This is good

Where's the place where no fish.. Here we go again. One, two, three

Where's the place with no fish but plenty of tails

Piranha? What?

That's the wrong places for it right?

Okay here we go once again

What's the line

Come on down and cool off the hottest hole in town

Ready? Come on down... Are you serious?

Fifteen dollar, fifteen dollar

Are you serious? Tell him now

Just keep your hand in the middle like that, yeah

Okay, don't do the hand because that get two 3D

-Do you want me to start with it out? -It was 3 double D

Test

How the hell did they get in here?

Even if they're the same grizzly bears

Twinky face

High five son

That?

Mom

-She's kinda cute -Yeah, she got some talent

-She's what? -She has some talent

-She's what? -She has some talent

Your mother has talent?

She's pretty hot

Yeah, don't even think

best in the business

a few years ago

I'm wet all the time

If you want to wetter come on down and

cool off in a hottest hole in town

Mine. That wont make the movie

We should add that to the movie

Two chicks for me

because I'm the brightest star..

How are you?

What are doing? Oh my god you're not done

A flying squirrel

Hoffman

That why I need you to sit on the chair

-The camera is rolling -For God sake

-Settle down -Calm down

Action

David, get away from that thing

Mom, It's okay it slow

The fish is flying

Stand up. stand up

Help me

-Help me -And..

Cut

That my darling is all what natural selection is all about

Sub synced and edited by: PEEAN91