Original subtitles

(VO:1) There is nothing more exciting

than the connection to another human being

followed by most amazing sex.

It is the ultimate connection.

All the stories you are about to hear are real.

Some of the voices have been re-recorded to preserve anonymity.

Just after the decriminalisation happened,

London had clubs which were open to members only.

(VO:2) I remember one particular club

which used to be off Bond Street,

and was around, I think, until the early 80s.

And you would have a lot of older men

with their younger partners, jackets and ties.

So it really was the gay equivalent of a

sort of quite formal Mayfair straight nightclub.

(VO:1) The prohibition effectively meant

that if you were found out to be gay

your life would be destroyed

and those clubs were the only

places where you could safely dance,

or indeed, connect,

with another person.

(radio) It's Saturday the 1st of June 1972

The first gay pride march

will be taking place in London later today.

Police presence is expected to be high

as officials do not want a repeat

of the Stonewall riots in America.

(VO:3) What I know about the hanky code

is that it was a way of attracting

people that were into doing stuff to you

and finding people to do what you wanted to do to them.

(funky music)

(VO:4) The three main ones:

yellow, blue and red,

(laughs) that's all I,

that's all I need to know, there's a lot of other ones

that are just far beyond my imagination.

Blue tends to turn towards anal,

or just sort of top bottom sex in general.

Red tends to be on the more extreme side of things.

Be it, fisting, or other things of the sort.

And yellow is water sports,

which is obviously represented by the colour.

(laughs)

(VO:3) It was a visual kind of signal,

it was like peacocking

but like in your back pocket, for your kink...

I think!

( VO: 1) The positioning of it,

whether it was left and right was absolutely critical

and because I'm dyslexic

I would have finished in serious trouble

because I never quite knew where to put the handkerchiefs so

I preferred not to do that.

(VO:3) I think I got with a guy once

who had a hanky in his back pocket

and I don't really remember anything more about it.

Apart from the fact that it was

there and he was a really good kisser.

So maybe he was a kissing kink?

I don't know. I don't know.

(groovy music)

(VO:2) There was a guy with a red hanky

in one of his pockets,

and he did come up to me

and tell me that I had really nice hands,

small hands and lovely wrists.

And I took the compliment and said thank you

without really understanding what he was talking about.

And it took me some days

until it was pointed out to me why

he was complimenting me on

my small hands and wrists.

The place was very rundown, stank of urine,

which for me was a very exciting thing,

it was... seedy.

The idea of cottaging and cruising

made me feel that what I was doing was a subversive act,

was undermining heterosexual society.

It was a political act

as well as just a purely sexual act.

You would stand at the urinal,

and you would get your dick out.

They would realize that you weren't there to relieve yourself.

They would start looking at you

and you would start looking at them.

If they looked down at your dick

they would indicate that they wanted to go into a cubicle,

or if they had the courage,

they would sink to their knees there and then.

Everything was done really by eye contact.

There was no verbal communication.

There was also a massive military base up the road

and if you went in at night, the place was crowded.

It was literally standing room only.

And that was thrilling. That was thrilling.

So if somebody else came in.

Everybody would stop what they were doing.

Until, they got an idea of where this person stood.

And yes it was, again, scary.

The idea of getting caught.

But it sort of added to the excitement of it all.

I started cruising in my mid late teens.

I was walking home to my parents' house

through some woods and came across an older man

sitting on a park bench

who started a conversation with me.

I noticed that I was attracted.

He ended up sucking me off.

I found it the most thrilling thing that had ever happened to me.

And after that there was no stopping me.

(VO:3) For some people,

it was instead of going to the bars and the clubs.

( VO: 1) If somebody looks away

you know where you stand.

But if somebody looks back, and you look back,

the the first connection has been established.

(VO:2) The excitement of the...

the possible danger of being caught.

The possible danger of meeting someone dangerous could

add an edge to the whole situation.

(VO:4) I always am slightly worried about

the eye contact thing

and being like, um,

is this a staring because we're into each other

or are you about to hit me because I'm looking at you

and you can tell I'm gay?

I don't know what's going on here.

So no, I'm not very good at that.

(VO:3) I met an MP up in a cruising area

in Brighton once as well.

(laughs)

I've got to be careful here!

But they weren't the MP for the constituency where the

meeting area was, it was an entirely different constituency.

(laughs)

(VO:4) I sort of just went into the forest

and, you know, I walked around like I owned the place.

I was like, "No. Don't touch me."

(VO:2) It would be a millisecond,

a millisecond.

That person clocks you, you clock them.

They could only be a gay person, they could only be...

straight people would never do that.

(modem dial-up tone)

(radio) Last night George Michael was

caught engaging in a lewd act by an

undercover police officer.

The popular singer is yet to provide a statement.

(VO: 5) Feeling so isolated,

the internet really helped me

communicate with people who weren't near me.

I kind of was able to engross myself

in gay culture without

ever having met a gay man.

(VO: 4) Must've been when I was about 18,

I think, when I was still at school. I got Gaydar.

I think it is really good

especially for a young gay man,

to suddenly see this world of possibility,

whereas, for straight people

you just have the normal thing of fancying people in school,

"Oh, am I going to ask them out?"

It's embarrassing, whatever... But we never have that, obviously.

(V0: 6) Small places

that still don't have much of a gay community,

It was an absolute lifeline to so many people.

This was not only their only means of communication

but their only hope of finding either sex, or love.

(VO:2) I think Gaydar very much brought online

a lot of people who didn't consider themselves gay.

They thought of themselves

as people who had sex with men.

If you weren't a member you only had eight messages a day

so you had to make those messages count.

(VO:6) He looked like a porn star,

with a stunning body and a gigantic cock.

His thing was to have entirely anonymous sex.

The door was on the latch

I would be face down on the bed

with something over my top half,

so I couldn't see anything.

All the other senses at that point, become heightened,

all the noises he was making,

the sound of him tearing the condom packet with his teeth.

He was incredible. I made the fatal mistake

and decided, you know what, let's actually meet and talk.

Fuck me, he was boring!

(laughs)

(VO:4) There was one time where

I was sent a dick pic

by another guy and I was like,

"Are you sure that's your dick?"

And he was like, "Yes",

and I was like, "I really, really don't think it is sir,

because it's mine."

It's not like I have an incredible penis,

it's a good dick, I'm happy with my dick,

but it's not like, made of gold.

(VO: 7) I went into the living room

and my Mum was sat by the computer

so I guess she'd gone through my browser history

because she'd left up one of the websites that I'd went on to,

and she just looked at me, and said,

"Is this what you're into? Into this hardcore porn?"

Let me say, it wasn't really hardcore.

(laughs)

But, I didn't really know what to say

so I just sort of denied it,

but it's very hard to deny something

as in-your-face as that.

(VO:8) All the possibilities

that Gaydar had given men,

Grindr made them so much more so.

(VO: 9) It's a momentary distraction.

Typically I'm just about to go to bed,

or I've, perhaps I've just woken up in the morning,

or it's a weekend, or...

I'm bored in between doing something.

Suddenly the idea of then meeting up with them,

the vast majority of the time,

it's like I can't be arsed!

I can't be bothered.

(laughs)

_ (V0.-10) Tinder Qr Chappy

there's more of an expectation that you're

going to have a conversation and that it's going to be datey.

Grindr is much, much more functional.

_ "Hi." _ "Hi."

- "You look good." - "Thanks."

- "More pics?" - "Sure"

"lnto?"

(VO:5) You had your Uber Eats

to order your pizza,

and you had Grindr to order a man if you were feeling like it.

And I very much thought of it as like,

I don't know, going on Amazon

and ordering myself a man for the afternoon.

( V0: 7) Everyone goes there first

and then as you find the other ones,

you sort of find the people that are more catered towards

what you're looking for:

Scruff is more scruffier guys, bearded or whatever.

(VO:11) People just start with sending pictures,

sometimes explicit pictures.

(VO:12) I remember the first time it came out,

I was like, "I've logged on,

and within 200 meters

there's like 90 gays." Like, what!?

And I think it also unleashed the fact

that there were hundreds

more gays than you knew there were.

(VO:13) The rare time I meet is just for sex

and it has to be now.

If you're trying to make a plan for in two days

they're going to have chatted

with someone else in between

and they'll have forgotten about you.

(VO:2) It's the modern form of

electronic cottaging or

the electronic form of outside cruising grounds,

and many people don't even want to talk.

I think this leads to a feeling of ruthlessness about it,

that people are disposable

and they're not even people, that you haven't even...

there isn't even time for courtesy

and for good manners.

(VO:7) There's people who fetishize

black people or people of colour in general,

going off stereotypes of them being...

of them having big dicks,

I feel like you're being looked at as

a thing for sex and that's... that's it.

(VO:5) And it was also quite...

a great equalizer.

They might be quite an accomplished barrister and I was a student

and didn't feel like there was any gap between us.

(VO:2) Anything that used to be

a hanky code is now just super up front

because then if you, when you do meet someone

you kind of get straight to what you're into

and what they're into.

(VO:10) It's like playing battleships,

you know... it takes a while,

but eventually, you might get a hit.

(laughs)

(grindr beep)

(VO:2) The Internet, it's a surprise.

(VO:4) It's essentially opened up a world

that used to be very quiet and very silent.

(VO:10) I think it's made it easier for people

to meet other gay people which is a great thing.

(VO:13) I just hope that the future of it is

going to be more about connecting people

than disconnecting people.

(VO:12) I just think the Internet is great.

And it's really gay, and that's really good!

(Big Ben chimes)

KENNETH ROBINSON MP: I beg to move that this house

calls upon Her Majesty's Government to take early action

upon the recommendations contained in part two

of the report of the Wolfenden Committee.

I fully appreciate that this subject

is one which is distasteful and even repulsive to many people -

including, no doubt, some honourable members.

Do you need me for anything else?

Off out somewhere nice?

Me and the girls on the switchboard

are heading up West.

Going dancing.

ROBINSON: It is a subject that touches deep

and, perhaps, primitive instincts

and which rouses strong emotions.

But it is also a topic of some importance.

First of all, I should like to clear up,

in the briefest possible way,

some of the misconceptions that are common about homosexuality.

It is widely held, for example,

that all homosexuals are effeminate,

depraved and exhibitionist.

Much the same could be said, mutatis mutandis,

of a small minority of heterosexual people.

The majority of homosexuals are useful citizens,

who go about quite unrecognised and unsuspected by most of us.

(iauflty music)

♪ There is a tavern in this town ♪

♪ In this town ♪

♪ Where every waiter wears a gown ♪

♪ Wears a gown ♪

♪ It's such fun you'll never want to leave ♪

♪ And when it's raided you will grieve ♪

♪ You will grieve ♪

♪ All the laws are getting rougher ♪

♪ The police are getting tougher ♪

♪ If they raid this bar again we'll have no ♪

♪ Place to play... ♪

The first 'omi that crossed my path... Oh!

I thought, "In for a ha'penny -

"you may as well see his front room."

Well...

fully furnished it was.

And curtains and drapes to match.

(he chuckles)

Caught you down the docks, did they,

sucking on a Fisherman's Friend?

Yes, you may.

Buy me a drink.

Emmeline, hard liquor for me and the 'omi.

Christabelle, a splash of water.

Never a word spoken.

History.

Edna May Gladys Anne.

Duchess.

Matthews.

Mr.

Well...

take the weight off your stillies, Mr Matthews.

We are all family here.

♪ Just behave as though you just were voted queen. ♪

(music fades)

(footsteps)

(grunting)

Mr Matthews.

- Agh! - Mr Matthews!

Unless there's rats in the floorboards...

(grunts)

Yeah!

Ah! Ah!

(Groaning, grunting)

(Panting)

Don't. Don't...yet.

Please.

ROBINSON: Homosexuality is seldom a matter of choice

for the individual.

I understand that it is largely an involuntary deviation.

Not hereditary but often due to

some emotional factor during childhood.

However, environmental conditions

and family relationships succeed in attracting

most of us in the direction of normality.

We could go...

I was thinking - if you'd like...

I've got tickets.

Orfeo. Covent Garden.

It's an opera.

Do you like...? Have you ever been?

Oh, all the time.

The hero, Orfeo,

goes to rescue his wife. From Hell.

That's me done.

She's been murdered, you see.

And...death has stolen her from him.

I find it terribly romantic.

He's willing to risk his very soul, and hers...

...just to hold her in his arms again, just...

...one more time.

Has it got guns?

No guns. Just a lute.

I thought... now that we're friends...

Cos you left the door unlocked?

More than friends. Not just friends. We're...

partners in crime. (laughs awkwardly)

Not actual crime.

Well... I suppose, actual crime.

Not that our kind of crime hurts anyone.

Not if you spit on it.

We could... have supper after.

Or drinks before.

On me, I mean, of course.

Can I kiss you?

♪ Oh, Fanny boy ♪

♪ You've left me sad and lonely ♪

♪ There is no end... ♪

He will be down the Dilly...

...sucking on a Fisherman's Friend.

ROBINSON: I have no wish to suggest

that I regard homosexuality as a desirable way of life.

It entails, in many cases,

heavy burdens of guilt and shame

and it seldom provides a basis

for a stable emotional relationship.

I do not have £5.

I just got two buses!

This is just a joke to you, isn't it?

- I need my rent and... - And what?

Quiet, is it, tonight, down the Dilly?

I ain't worked this week. They're laying men off and...

I thought...

I was hoping...

if I got a place, you could live with me.

I ain't your little project.

You can keep a room for yourself.

And at night, when the rest of the world is asleep,

you can creep up and lie next to me.

- You really don't get it! - I like you...

...a lot.

We allow ourselves to have friends.

And... And sex with strangers that doesn't mean anything.

And I am tired of feeling like that is what life is.

Because people like you and me...

I ain't like you.

I want more.

Hook at you...

...and I want more.

And maybe I don't.

You won't get this good again, you know.

I seen ten of you just now, tongues hanging out.

You've got nothing. No education. No family.

Nothing to fall back on, apart from your arse.

You wanna be careful how you talk to me.

I appear to be in love with you.

And I can't just turn it off.

(door closes)

ROBINSON: According to most medical opinion,

homosexuality is not a disease.

The generally accepted view

among doctors and sociologists

is that this is a disability,

a deviation of the same sort

as left-handedness or colour-blindness.

These unfortunate people

deserve our compassion

rather than our contempt.

NOW!

I haven't... I haven't done anything.

Please. No. Please, just let me explain.

ROBINSON: I now turn to the arguments

commonly advanced against reform.

If we relax the law in any way relating to private acts,

homosexuality will "spread like a prairie fire",

to use the somewhat emotive phrase

of the honourable member for Cheadle.

Homosexuals will feel free to proselytise

and young men in particular

will be endangered to a greater extent than at present.

I said "no appointments".

Is it because of the £5?

That I wouldn't give you the £5?

- They was just there. - WAS they?

They're interviewing me again.

I'll take the blame.

For leading you into it.

If...

...at the other end...

Will you wait for me?

I told you.

I ain't like you.

I am quite aware of what you told me.

Kiss me.

Yes, I confirm it is my writing.

So, you wrote it?

It is my writing.

It's a simple question, sir.

You were keen to see Mr Moran?

I told you last week.

He was someone I believed I could help.

How is it proof of criminal actions on my part?

Do you think this is a normal way...?

Am I being questioned about what I do or...?

Or what I am?

Your job is to decide whether or not I have committed

acts of indecency and should be removed from society.

- I am aware of what my job... - Am I an invert?

Yes, I am!

I am not the only invert in this country.

We are your... your child's teacher,

your doctor, your bachelor uncle.

We're invisible unless we find the courage to speak out.

And in that act - not the act which you accuse me of...

...but the simple act of speaking out...

In this act...

...we change the world.

ROBINSON: The main argument adduced against reform

is that public opinion is opposed to it.

I've turned the mattress.

Not that it's catching.

ROBINSON: Does it mean that we can never

make a change in the law

until an overwhelming majority of the people

demand that change?

If that criterion had been adopted in the past,

we should still be hanging men for stealing sheep.

A government are entitled

to take into account public opinion,

but it is frequently the duty of government to lead

and not to follow public opinion,

and to do what they know to be right.

(iauflty music)

♪ I met myself a charming guy ♪

♪ Down by the river drive ♪

♪ Down by the river drive ♪

♪ Down by the river drive... ♪

I said, "I am not the slightest bit interested

in your big blue eyes."

I said, "I am not going to spend all night bumping fannies

with you when there's a whole world of real men out there."

You see...

I am just waiting for my prince.

My hero to come and rescue me from hell.

No of fence, darling.

I do appreciate I'm in a somewhat difficult situation,

given that my ideal man...

is a policeman, probably.

And he would want children. And, well...

...I am barren.

♪ Up on the river drive ♪

♪ Where he could sit and rest ♪

♪ Up in my cosy nest ♪

♪ He then took off his clothes and vest ♪

♪ I asked him for the rest ♪

♪ Up on the river drive ♪

♪ He asked me if I had a beer ♪

♪ I said, "That's tacky, dear ♪

♪ "if you must have a drink ♪

♪ "I'll fix you something pink" ♪

♪ We toasted while our glasses clinked ♪

♪ But he turned out a fink ♪

♪ Up on that river drive ♪

♪ He ain't gonna cruise that drive no more... ♪

(music fades)

Can I kiss you?

♪ Gotta get me some real tight britches ♪

♪ Gotta get me a date ♪

♪ Gotta be like those real wild bitches ♪

♪ And I can hardly wait ♪

♪ I'd rather swish than fight ♪

♪ Hm-hm-hm ♪

♪ I'd rather swish than fight ♪

♪ Hm-hmm ♪

♪ When I see a fella ♪

♪ I get kinda mellow ♪

♪ And if I see a guy ♪

♪ Well, I just give him the eye ♪

♪ Hm-hm ♪

ICosAam gay?

TV: It's mysterious, it's deadly,

and it's baffling medical science.

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

Once thought only to affect promiscuous, homosexual males,

AIDS is now spreading in epidemic proportions

to other segments of the population.

(clock ticking sounds)

(wall bang)

(wall bang)

(whispers) One, two, three, four

One, two, three, four

One, two, three, four

One, two, three, four

(music pulsing through walls)

VO: First Position.

VO: Second.

VO: Now third.

VO: Use your entire body.

VO: Fourth position.

VO: Now fifth.

(music growing louder and clearer)

(sounds of applause and music changing)

Hi.

You good? You look a little lost.

I thought you might be in here on accident?

I'm new here.

Some people I'm with said this would be a good place to start.

Zachary.

I would shake your hand, but I feel like we're past that.

Zach.

No Zachary.

My name is Zachary Campbell.

Alright. Zachary.

It'll read better in a Playbill... Promise.

Is that what brings you to San Francisco?

Dancing... ballet.

I'm trying to find a company that'll take me.

It's a pipe dream.

No, not a pipe dream.

I'm a choreographer.

I run a space over on twenty-first with some other guys.

That's not funny.

Let's find some place quieter.

(music cuts into silence)

(hard coughing)

Hold on I got you.

Open your eyes, you're not going to fall.

[ZACHARY] Nope.

I'm letting go.

No, no you're not.

Perfect, see?

Almost good enough to be in one of your pieces.

Uh huh, baby steps.

You don't need me to hold you now.

I didn't need you before.

[JAMIE] Keep telling yourself that.

Can you mark the first movement for me again?

That one's still a work in progress though.

I haven't finished it yet.

Just one more time, please?

You choreograph a lot better when I do it with you.

Not what I had in mind for a date.

One, two, three, four, five, six. Two, two, three, four, five, six.

(uplifting music plays)

(lowered music)

(train door slides shut)

Your stop's coming up.

Already?

Uhuh.

I like this.

The Mum'?

It runs all night so... so (laughs)

No... No...

This.

(ballet music plays) (door knocks)

(door knocks)

[ROBBIE] Hey Hun, I got your mail.

(door knocks)

(door knocks)

Come on sweetie, I heard the music down the street,

and I can hear it now.

[ZACHARY] It's not a good time Robbie.

You think you're the only queen in the neighborhood

that's got no furniture?

(music cuts off)

I brought you food.

Haven't seen you out in a while.

I've been busy.

Busy?

Practicing.

Oh that's right, Jamie was telling me that--

It's really not a good time Robbie.

Okay, well...

your mail's been gathering downstairs--

I can get my own mail.

(shower running)

When did it happen?

I don't know when it started, I saw them two days ago.

Them?

There's more than one?

Jamie...

Hold on. Two days...

Two days and you didn't say a word to me.

It's really not anything to get worked up over Jamie.

You're actually minimizing this.

Especially after everything we've been hearing about, reading about?

It's just a reaction,

I'm probably allergic to something.

And you were gonna keep it from me until what?

You book a room in the hospital downtown?

Knock it off.

How did...

You know Richard had the same things and--

And what?

It's fine.

I'm gonna be fine.

(music bursts)

(dial tone rings)

[SARAH] Hello Twelfth Street Ballet?

Hey Sarah, it's Zachary, is Jamie around?

[SARAH] He's been on a private lesson all day,

he should be back some time later today.

[SARAH] Do you want me to--

No, no it's fine. I'll catch him later.

[SARAH] Okay, alright.

[SARAH] Oh how was your trip home, everyone misses you at rehearsal.

Jamie said you were visiting your parents?

Trip?

He was here before--

[JAMIE] What are you doing here?

It's seven in the morning.

It's the only time I can have the studio.

[JAMIE] You didn't tell me.

[SARAH] I should go.

[JAMIE] No it's okay Sarah.

Zachary take your shoes off.

[ZACHARY] I can't just sit in the apartment and do nothing,

there's no room. I can't move at all there.

[JAMIE] You should be at home.

[ZACHARY] So should you.

Take them off.

Now Zachary.

I'm doing this with or without your permission.

You think this is gonna make you better?

[ZACHARY] I don't need a parent right now.

Could've fooled me.

If I don't at least stand up in here right now!

I can't just sit around and wither away.

It's only gonna get worse, that's it.

And all I'm supposed to do is sit and watch it happen?

No.

No.

This is all I have.

You have me.

[SARAH] (telephone): How was your trip home?

[ZACHARY] Trip?

[SARAH] We heard you went back home?

(phone slams against ground)

It's fine. (muffled)

(disorienting music)

♪ Hold me like a bird ♪

(muffled female vocals)

(muffled female vocals, piano)

Zachary! (muffled)

(male voice) One, two, three, four...

...five, six, seven, eight.

(silence)

(sobbing)

TV: It's mysterious, it's deadly, and it's baffling medical science.

Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome.

Once thought only to affect promiscuous, homosexual males,

AIDS is now spreading in epidemic proportions

to other segments of the population.

(banging wall)

(banging wall)

(clock ticking)

One, two, three, four.

(classroom talking and piano music)

Hey, are you okay?

(kiss)

I'm here for a private.

Can you give us a sec?

Zachary I've got classes scheduled all day.

Count me in.

You're not gonna warm up?

No, I did this morning.

Count me in.

Five, six, seven, eight.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Zachary I told you--

Don't touch me!

Again.

Count me in, Jamie.

Five, six, seven, eight.

(orchestral music)

(door slams)

♪ You lay your kiss on my lips. ♪

♪ We fake the emotions again. ♪

♪ I pull you closer to my hips. ♪

♪ Pretend that we're more than just friends. ♪

♪ Wrap your arms around my neck. ♪

♪ We can sway to the music. ♪

♪ We both agree, it's a wreck. ♪

♪ But right now we're just too human ♪

♪ Wrap your arms around me. ♪

♪ We can sway. ♪

♪ Hold me up, darling. ♪

♪ Just dance with me. ♪

♪ Just dance with me. ♪

Hey.

You have to go.

(doorbell)

(kitchen pots clanking)

You need any help?

It's okay, Dad, thanks.

These are some nice floors you got in here.

Thanks.

Don't move!

This is gonna be a fierce corset.

Sure, girl!

Ready for a nativity scene, my angel?

- It's a very virgin-like color. - I know!

You know what I just remembered?

That time you had to shave your eyebrows.

You bitch!

Well, it's part of the job.

Imagine if we make it onto that TV show though.

- They're coming off. - Really?

- I'm not doing that again. - Why not? It's faster!

Watch out, I'm cutting this.

- I don't wanna stab you, fag. - Dead, girl!

- Done, I love it. - Yeah.

It's coming together.

(distant club music)

(distant audience chatter)

(Upbeat pop music)

♪ Put upon me ♪

(mouths lyrics)

♪ a crown of thorns. ♪

♪ And free me from ♪

♪ this infinite torture. ♪

♪ I surrender without remission. ♪

♪ Like an offering in your temple, ♪

♪ and with wild passion, ♪

♪ desperate, I implore you, ♪

♪ I pray that you, I urge you, I beg you ♪

♪ Kill me, darling... ♪

(distant traffic, sirens)

(door shuts)

- How's it going, Nico? - Alright.

That Javier is nice, huh?

I guess...

He told me about this seafood place close by.

I've never been.

I fixed your shower head,

come see it, in case it ever clogs again.

I'm kind of tired, Dad. I'll see it when you come back.

I'd rather do it now, we might not be here later.

I'm really tired, Dad...

It won't take long, it's all fixed.

Don't you have an appointment?

Right, I should...

I should get going, be early and--

Good luck.

(gentle piano music)

(birdsong)

- I love it, bitch, it's fierce. - Really?

Let me just tweak this.

Right here.

Sickening.

Pose for me, queen.

- So fierce. - It won't stay up though.

We'll tighten this up.

Better?

- Look at the back! - Move your foot.

- Done? - It's amazing.

- Is the length okay? - Yeah, I... I don't know.

- It totally fits. - You do it then!

You fit here, honey, of course the dress fits.

I'm just a skinny legend.

- Unlike others... - Hold on.

Here's your ticket for the show, and here's one for your Dad.

Let's close this thing.

Mind that corner.

Yes, Fairy Godmother.

Hello!

- How did it go? - Fine.

Nico!

Nico!

Is the shower head working?

I cleaned up your stove, I found some lye, gave it a scrub.

So, you wanna go check out that seafood place?

Huckm' hate seafood.

You can eat something else there, let's go.

Alright then.

Rusty was an actual mutt,

a very playful dog.

I was distracted, talking to my mom,

she told me to turn around, and there you were, like puppies,

peeking through the gate, and then we realized,

you had Rusty's bone in your mouth,

I thought: “If Mom sees this, she'll kill me!”

There's a preschool around the corner from Grandma's,

you went there,

and one day, at recess,

I walked by and saw you,

by the gate, almost as if you wanted to leave.

And I thought, "I shouldn't distract him,

he might wanna come." You hadn't seen me.

You were hesitating, maybe you wanted to leave,

you were so young.

Someone kicked the ball towards you,

you turned around and left.

I thought: "He's safe now, I'm just going to leave.”

I wanted to tell you,

what the doctor told me.

He found metastasis in my lungs.

- I'm sorry, what? - Metastatic bone activity,

in the thyroid, and God knows what else.

However, I've made a decision.

I won't take the treatment.

It's best for the family.

(heels clack on ground)

- Hey... - Well, I'm going now.

- I'm leaving. - You want me to call you a cab?

No, I'll just get one downstairs.

Okay, erm...

- Let me help you with that. - No, thanks, I got it.

Okay...

(Sighs)

Erm...

Don't forget to visit your mom, she misses you a lot.

Yes.

I'll go as soon as I can.

(dogs bark in distance)

You look good.

(gentle piano music)

(silence)

(soft music)

(suspenseful music)

I'm very sorry, sir.

Sit back down Martin.

I just, I thought everyone had left for the night.

You're working until 11:00 PM.

I find you in here of all places in the dark

and that's what you have to say for yourself.

Yes, sir.

Okay, then.

I want this office.

And there it is.

Tell me.

Why should I give it to you

instead of one of the other juniors?

- Because I deserve it. - So do they.

I work harder than them.

Is that my speech?

Yes, sir.

Well, let's have a look at it then.

(light music)

It's good work, Martin.

Thank you, sir.

You'll be giving this presentation at the meeting tomorrow.

And if the meeting's successful then this office

and the salary that comes with it are yours.

Really, sir?

Now let's go.

What, I mean, where, sir?

I'm not having you representing the firm at one

of the most crucial junctures of the process,

looking like a six former in his first cheap suit.

But it's nearly midnight, sir, all the stores are closed.

Yes, which is why you'll be borrowing one of mine.

Keep up, Martin.

Suit's in the bedroom down the hall, help yourself.

I'll fix us some drinks.

[MARTIN] No, thanks, I'm fine.

[CHRISTOPHER] Suit yourself.

(suspenseful music)

(indistinct)

(light music) (Polish radio)

So... what time did we get home last night?

Late.

What is going on Maciej?

Mum...

These eggs are raw.

That's absurd! I've just boiled them.

Well, I'm really sorry.

I could have sworn these were boiled.

It's okay. I need to go now anyway.

Wait... I'll cook fresh ones. Just wait a moment.

No, no, no!

Stop fighting me and eat your breakfast.

Ah, so this is where I left the boiled ones!

I'm getting old!

Maciej, is that a new suit?

Erm...

Yes it's for the meeting.

Aha.

(she sighs)

Maciek...

Why do you care so much about working for this firm?

Mum, that's enough, okay?

Don't tell me what to do in my own home!

Well, at least for as long as I can call it my own.

- What's this? - Mum!

I already told you. I won't sign any documents.

I know...

Then why is my name on this?

Well I was hoping that...

Here... Here's to your hope!

Maciej is that a new suit?

Yes, I borrowed it, for work.

You know, with that dark tie.

It's like you're going to a funeral.

Well, maybe I am going to a funeral.

Okay, child! Don't sin in front of God!

What now? I was only joking!

(Sighs)

(light piano music)

This tie belonged to your father and I want you to have it.

I can't, Mum.

Take it, Maciej!

Your father wore it for 20 years.

Dad wore this for 20 years?

Stop being a smart ass!

Okay?

Your father would always provide for this family.

So maybe this tie will remind you of what's really important in life.

- Mum... - Oh, Maciej!

I suppose you know best.

Hove you.

I love you too, Maciej.

I would firstly, I would firstly, like to thank each

and every one of you for coming down here this afternoon

and it is promising to see so many of you here today.

This is the largest redevelopment project in central London

since the repurposing of the Heygate Estate,

- which started in-- - And the residents

of that estate are still homeless.

I can assure you that all those who sign,

they will be guaranteed a quality, temporary accommodation

- as well as-- - So we're getting

kicked out no matter what, if we don't sign,

we won't get housing?

That's fucking blackmail, that is.

That is not blackmail but the benefits of signing

far outweigh the risks.

What benefits?

There aren't enough units to house us all and you know it!

You're taking away our homes.

You might not know this but I grew up on this estate

and I still live here with my beautiful mother, Marta

and it is as much a part of who I am as it is a part of you.

So if I'm honest, when I look around, I want more.

We deserve more.

Nobody gives a shit about what we deserve.

Council's just happy to watch us burn just to--

Mullen and Associates are not your government.

We want what is best for this community.

New solid infrastructure, clean streets, new businesses,

a place for you and your children

could be proud to call home.

You can trust us on this.

Please come down for more information from my colleague,

Christopher, we already have thousands of signatures from

the neighbors and only need a handful more, thank you.

Those who sign are guaranteed first look at offers,

as well as second generation right to buy options.

(sirens blaring)

(Polish TV)

I thought that after this evening you'd change your mind.

You have no shame, Made.

Shame?

Shame. Shame!

I look at you and I can't believe it.

My own son cares more about himself

than the good of this family.

(chair creaks)

Mum, this project will happen regardless...

But if you sign the papers now you'll get better compensation.

(she laughs)

I may not live long enough for this project to finish!

And even if I do,

there won't be a home for us here.

I've seen the project plans...

...they're only for millionaires!

So if you really believe

that there'll be space for us here...

...then I really have raised an idiot in my own home.

I will not rot in some halfway house!

Mum, this is a halfway house!

Since Dad died you won't even leave the neighbourhood.

You refuse to learn English, you refuse to assimilate...

- How dare you! - Mum, you're ill!

- I am not ill. - You're ill and it's getting worse!

And I'm not able to provide the right care for you.

I'm doing this for you, Mum!

I am not ill!

And you are not doing this for me.

You father, God bless him, supported me his whole life,

and he never lost his dignity.

He was a real man.

Not some naive, silly boy!

I always felt there was something wrong with you!

Dad was a joke!

I'm not going to apologise for wanting more than this,

for deserving more than what he left us!

Nothing!

Get out!

(dramatic music)

(inaudible)

(inaudible)

Oh Jesus, the Saviour, our Lord, our God.

Through his sacrifice on the cross, he triumphed over Satan.

I beg you for my son's release

from any devilish presence.

From all influence of Satan!

Please strengthen his soul,

so that all demons may leave his body.

Take his sins!

And transfer them all to me!

To me the great sinner.

Give me strength!

Give me strength, let it all pour down on me!

(gasps)

(dramatic music)

Who are these men?

What on earth, are you talking about?

These, what are these?

Those are cuff links, take a seat.

Not until you tell me what's going on.

Well, what's going on is we've collected the required

number of signatures from those neighbours of yours

and the project's going ahead.

- Yes'.

No, you used me.

I chose you to speak yesterday because you have an in.

I knew they'd listen to you because you're one of them.

Why do you think I hired you in the first place?

Because of your talent?

No, you're easily manipulated and you do what you're told.

You cannot stop change, Martin.

Change is inevitable.

You sought out this job for a reason.

Because you know you're more than where you come from.

And through your own sheer will, you have placed yourself

at the centre of your community's rebirth.

You're literally ushering in change that will benefit

generations to come and yet here you are ready to burn

that to the ground and for what?

What, because of honour?

Well, let me reiterate my point, Martin.

Your change is inevitable.

Now we don't need your mother's signature but it would look

ridiculous for you if we proceeded

without it, so I suggest you get it.

I quit.

Don't do it, Martin.

My name is, Maciej.

(chuckling)

(fir: beep)

Hello? Mum, it's me. No, wait!

Mum, I quit my job.

Really! I quit my job, yes-

I am so sorry about everything.

I don't know what got into me...

I'm coming back home, okay?

Okay, thanks. I love you, bye.

(dramatic music)

("Four Seasons" - Vivaldi)

[SUITED MAN] Downstairs, please.

Through the door, Martin.

(dramatic music)

(groaning)

(choking)

(dramatic music)

Maciej?

("Four Seasons" - Vivaldi)

(relaxing music)

(inaudible chatter)

I didn't know where I was going, didn't know the language.

I got lost at the train station, because I was late.

I was standing there when a woman passed by.

I think she noticed I was Brazilian because

I had a Brazilian button on my bag.

My goodness!

What?

You and that guy.

What guy? There is no guy.

Now there is, hun.

I don't even know him.

That can be arranged.

We went to the station the next day,

she drove me there.

I took the train, went away, enjoyed my trip.

Are you serious?

It's my hobby at parties.

This and petting dogs.

And are you having fun?

Oh yeah.

Nothing says fun like a party on a Monday.

Don't underestimate the thrill of a Monday night in Sao Paulo.

Of course not.

Must be better than the thrill of Tuesdays in Sao Paulo.

Daniel is your name, right?

Danny.

I came with Arthur, we live together.

Are you a couple?

No.

We're friends.

And that's it.

I see.

But do you have a boyfriend?

Do you want my ID? My social security number?

No, just your zodiac sign, your ascendant,

and your moon sign. That's also important.

No, I don't have a boyfriend.

- Is it Seji? - Seiji.

There's an in the middle.

Seiji.

You have a nice house, Seiji.

Thank you.

Comfortable. Isn't it?

Yeah.

You know, there's a pretty view of the city from the roof.

Look...

Usually people flirt more before mentioning the roof.

Well I'm not other people, so...

I save all my best lines for the roof

because it's much more romantic.

We're going through the window?

It's an entrance that's...

Unconventional.

009$!

Be careful with those loose roof tiles.

Is it safe here?

Well, the worst...

The worst that could happen is we fall off and die.

Okay. I got it!

At least it's for a good cause, right'?

Of course, anything for romance.

(motorbike in distance)

(dog barking in distance)

Sometimes I photograph from up here.

Your windows series, right?

Yeah.

I walk around looking at the windows and I imagine what

it would be like to live in each one of them.

I do the same thing.

I imagine myself living on other people's balconies

They're all so different.

Yeah, totally.

Each one has its peculiarities and I love that.

Actually, I imagine myself...

Climbing the side of a building, going in through a window

and stealing all the family jewels.

You really are the romantic type!

It's my best rooftop line.

[NEIGHBOUR] Hey! What's all that noise over there?

People are trying to sleep!

Please forgive us, sir!

Please forgive us, sir!

Sorry!

Sorry!

Our bad!

FUCK you!

(dogs barking)

Let's go!

(clattering)

Are you hurt?

No.

I'm so sorry.

That was terrible! The guy yelled at us.

That guy is an idiot.

Seiji... hashtag worst date, right?

God, this is awful...

You have to get used to the taste.

Why would I get used to something so terrible?

Want to stay the night?

I don't think so...

Are you not in the mood?

It's not that, it's just that...

I'm not interested in sex.

We don't hear that every day.

Yeah.

Are you asexual?

You know what that is?

I had a friend in college who was asexual.

Really?

Yes, Monica.

It's the first time I don't have to explain what asexuality is.

See?

Did I earn your respect now?

Tell me more about it.

Like what?

Like...

Do you like to kiss?

What else do you like to do?

I like to kiss.

It's nice.

So you think kissing is nice?

Yes, I like it.

So I would like to ask for your consent to kiss you again.

What is that formality?

I'm serious.

I think all parties need to be in accordance

with the proposed activities.

Seiji, you have total permission...

Arthur?

Is it you there?

Yes, sir.

Come help me here?

Then it's not me who is here.

I'm going to leave your sheets drying on the ground.

Man, I had the worst meeting in history today.

They killed me there.

Oh, that sucks.

Yeah, I'm going to be a designer so I can spend all day at home like you.

I can draw well, you've seen.

And I'm going to get a job from 9 to 5 just to avoid you.

What's with all the housekeeping?

I finished my job early.

So I thought I'd get a few things done.

Seiji kissed me last night.

Oh, really?

Then what?

Then I kissed him too, we're even.

Okay, but where did that come from?

I don't know. He looked at me, I looked at him.

And this and that.

This and that'?

I don't know, Arthur. We talked the whole night.

I like him.

I think we are gonna go out.

But did you tell him about you?

I did, Arthur.

He's totally okay with it.

Okay, look, it's not really any of my business but...

Yeah, it really isn't.

Okay, Danny, but Seiji has had long-term boyfriends.

I've also dated-

You get what I'm saying.

He has sex.

That's not going to change.

Look, I think it could really work, truly.

If he was more like you in this sense, but...

Now he says it's going to work, but...

What about in a month?

It's not gonna work, man.

And then you'll end up binging Supernatural' all weekend.

(dogs barking)

(gentle music)

(gentle music, female Spanish vocals)

Bu“!

I'm sorry I'm late.

No problem, sweetie, come in, make yourself at home.

Take this off.

I brought this for you

I hope you like it.

Aw, that's so sweet, thank you.

(low pop music, chatter)

I invited that guy for you.

I saw that.

No need to thank me.

Just make me maid of honor and it's all good.

Btu...

Actually...

What?

You look beautiful today.

Honey, I'm always beautiful.

Are you gonna stay to wash the dishes today as well?

It's nice here, isn't it?

I wish I had an apartment downtown.

You never answered my messages.

I messaged you on WhatsApp, you didn't answer.

I'm sorry, I was busy this week.

No, it's okay.

Since you were busy, I wanted to ask you out again.

Look, it's not...

Tomorrow there's a Japanese animation festival.

A what festival?

Japanese animation.

What?

You.

Asking me out to see cartoons.

What do you have against Japanese animation, boy?

It's high culture, okay?

Miyazaki, Satoshi Kon...

I'm sorry.

Why would someone go out on a Sunday morning to see cartoons?

God, what is this contempt?

What has Miyazaki ever done to you?

Look...

The idea is that I'll correct the Portuguese subtitles

So you notice that I can speak Japanese

Then you'll look at me and say:

"WOW! "

(chatter, laughter)

Oh, shut up!

I didn't even say anything.

But you were thinking it.

I'm not going to apologise for thinking.

Danny!

Danny...

Your scarf.

Thanks.

Is that it?

Is that it what?

Are you leaving just like that? What happened?

I'm tired, I wanna go home.

If it's because of my friend, he hits on everybody--

It has nothing to do with that guy.

Seiji, we're completely different.

I thought we were having fun.

Okay! But...

I don't want to talk about this here.

Danny...

Seiji, how is it gonna be in a month?

In a month, if you don't get sick of me, we'll be on my couch

Watching Netflix...

I don't know.

Even Arthur doesn't think this will work.

Arthur?

And what does Arthur know?

He's always frustrated, hates his job, can't get a girlfriend...

Arthur is my friend--

He's your friend but he knows nothing about us.

He doesn't speak for me.

And what about the fact that I like you?

That doesn't matter, right'?

Danny...

I can't guarantee anything, man.

I could be killing, I could be stealing.

But I'm here, freezing.

Saying that I like you.

I also...

I also like you.

What are you doing?

Cartoons?

Anime.

And it's an art form, you disbeliever!

Okay.

No, no. I don't know if I wanna go back.

After I left like that...

What if we pretend we left to buy bread, then?

That's a good idea.

Then let's go.

Let's go.

[DANNY] I feel like getting some chocolate.

[SEIJI] Then you'll have to buy some for everyone.

[DAN NY] Oh... then no.

INFINITE WHILE IT LASTS Or we could just eat it down here.

Nice!

[DANNY] No one will know there was any chocolate in the first place.

[SEIJI] Smart boy.

(laughs)

[DANNY] What kind do you like?

[SEIJI] Dark, of course.

[DAN NY] God, the worst one.

[SEIJI] Why?

[DAN NY] Because it tastes terrible.

[SEIJI] You know it's healthy, right'?

It's the healthiest one.

[DANNY] Chocolate has to be tasty, not healthy.

(voices fade)

(soft music)

(skateboard)

[JAXON] Dysfunctional truth flows inside of me.

Doubt and fear will square you up undeniably.

Scared to look, scared to shout,

life will sting you like a bumble bee.

Loud, roar, quick and bright,

follow the lightning like the thunder.

Wheels of force, blood and fire,

set ablaze these highways of stretched out desire.

Roll out this day now, fist pump sky high.

We'll find the freedom that we so desperately need.

- What'd you think? - That was rad.

- Do you like it? - Yeah that was sick.

Thanks man.

- Through ball, through ball! - No.

Fly tackle him or something!

You still won't score. Shoot.

Here we go, here we go!

Suck shit!

That's not fair.

I asked someone,

what they would do to your face if they could fix it,

they said they'd need to lift up the left eye.

Because the other one sagged.

And the other eye,

they need to bring a bit more in towards your nose,

but your face isn't so bad.

[COREY] Who were you asking?

[JAXON] I was just talking to Mum.

Your mum said the exact same thing to me.

- That my face is messed up? - Yeah!

Really?

She secretly doesn't want to tell you.

I'm actually sweating.

That knee needs to re-adjust to your side of the couch.

The middle of the couch is literally here!

Bang...

He's good! He's good.

That's what I'm talking about.

A nice perfect goal.

Right into the set.

That's what I'm talking about.

Oh my god.

(burps)

Just look, smell me. Breathe me in, take me in.

I'm winning.

Oh my god why am I friends with you?

Because you're a lame skater and you need me to teach you.

(gentle music)

[COREY] You know I hate you.

[JAXON] You know I hate you too.

It's so scary.

[JAXON] So you going to live with your Dad?

[COREY] Nah I'm going to leave with Mum.

[JAXON] I'm pretty sure I asked this girl out over MSN.

I was like sitting with a friend at home,

we were like on MSN and I was like,

screw it, I'll just ask this girl out.

She said yes.

We were like the coolest couple, we would like sit together,

like next to each other in class. Everyone was like:

"Oh, look at these two!"

She broke up with me after a week for another guy!

I was devastated!

(laughs)

Just gutted.

But it's cool. I don't hate her that much.

It sucks you're leaving...

D (Phone) [ AD] You good?

[COREY] Yeah.

[DAD] Your mum and I...

I really don't want you to worry about it.

I'm not.

Maybe...

come and visit next summer? We'll do something then.

- Yeah, sure. - Yeah.

So we'll...

see each other next time, we'll do something then.

- Okay. - Alright.

- Bye mate. - See you, Dad.

(hangs up phone)

Hey, I got another one for you.

This one's going to be sick.

Drop me a beat.

- I can't. - Just a simple one!

(drops beat)

Here's a little story all about how

Corey's life got switched, turned upside down.

And he had to move away...

(fades, gentle music)

(inaudible)

(music builds)

(dog barking)

(music soars)

(music fades)

(Sighs)

(distant sirens)

(distant train tracks rumbling)

(Grindr message alert)

(message alert)

Hey. Nice abs. What about the face?

(message alert)

Handsome. What are you up to?

Just woke up.

Wanna get a coffee?

Sorry, not looking for anything serious.

(message alert)

- Can you host? - Yes.

- Shall I come over? - Yes.

61 Clara House. Gimme 10.

(knock at door)

Hi.

Hey.

(heavy breathing)

(moans intensifying)

(intense moans)

- So, what you up to after this? - Not much, you?

I've got a bit of work to do but, just a meeting.

Can I take you for breakfast?

Oh I forgot.. I do have some work to do too, actually.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Or maybe just a coffee?

Sorry, maybe another time yeah?

So... what do you do?

I'm a student.

Interesting... What are you studying?

English.

Nice.

I'm in digital marketing.

Cool.

Well... I always think it sounds cooler than it actually is.

I, uhm..

I saw your meds, by the way.

The cod liver oil'?

Nope. Your meds.

Which ones?

You must have put them away whilst I was in the shower.

Are you HIV positive?

I'm undetectable.

That means I'm not infectious.

I can't pass the virus on.

Okay.

- Sorry I didn't tell you before. - I get it.

You're scared of people rejecting you.

- Has that happened a lot? - Well I...

I recently met this guy that I really liked, but...

I didn't tell him.

I haven't told anyone yet.

How long's it been since you found out?

A month.

Do you know who gave it to you'?

Yeah.

He thought he was negative.

Lerm...

I caught it from someone who thought he was negative too.

No.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, it's just that...

In 11 years this has never happened to me.

I've never been in this situation and I guess, I just...

I wanted to see how someone else handled it.

11 years?

Have you had much rejection?

At first, yeah. A lot.

Then I was in a relationship for 9 years.

- Is he positive? - Negative.

- Is he still negative? - Yep.

Eventually we stopped using condoms.

- Really? - Yeah.

Did you tell him straight away? Before you had sex?

No. No, no...

No.

I was terrified.

Up until that point, any guy I met that I liked,

I'd have sex with them, and then...

Well I couldn't bring myself to see them again.

Hm...

This time I just decided to carry on seeing him.

- For how long? - Before I told him?

3 months.

- Wow. - Yeah.

How did he react?

He ignored me...

until he got tested and his results came back negative.

I used to struggle with telling people too.

I still do.

Sometimes I imagine how much easier it would be

if they just didn't call it HIV anymore.

Why?

Because we have to carry the whole history of it.

How else would they tell you?

Well...

Sit down and erm...

I'll show you what I mean.

Okay.

So...

Forget when you were diagnosed, if you can.

I'm going to give you your diagnosis how it should have been done.

Okay.

Alright. So, Joe...

We've got your test results back...

and you've caught a certain virus.

Okay.

But we're going to give you some medication

that should stop the virus from spreading

And also stop you from passing it on to anyone else.

You will have to take a pill every day for the rest of your life...

But other than that,

your life shouldn't change too much.

Does this virus have a name?

Uh, no... No it doesn't.

But your medication is called the every morning ever-after pill.

I'm glad you left your medication out.

Yeah, me too.

And I'm sorry for forcing you to come out.

- For the second time. - For the second time.

Okay.

Well erm... I better go.

Thanks for having me over.

Thanks for coming.

(lift doors open)

(guitar music)

♪ I walked away ♪

♪ From everyone I know ♪

♪ I looked around and thought ♪

♪ This must be what it's like to be alone ♪

♪ Awareness fell on me ♪

♪ My bones, my bones ♪

♪ I felt my ribs ♪

♪ My bones, my bones ♪

(music fades)