Original subtitles

Thank you.

Good morning, Maisie.

Good morning, Miss Lane.

There's a young lady over there who wants to see you.

I'm Rose Riley. The Acme Employment Service sent me.

Oh, yes. You're to relieve Maisie. Well, I'm Ray Lane, Mr. Lawton's secretary.

I hope you'll find your work agreeable.

Maisie, this is Rose Riley, your relief. Will you explain your duties to her?

Yes, ma'am.

Yeah, I'm going on a vacation tomorrow.

Really? Well, I may as well show you Mr. Lawton's personal whaling cabinet first.

That's the most important thing in this office.

Whaling cabinet?

Gee, what's that?

Nothing but doctor's bills and x-ray pictures.

Now, this is the stomach department.

This is for the teeth.

And this one's for the eyes. And this one's for other miscellaneous aches and

pains. What's more, he ain't even sick at all. He just imagines he is. He's a

sucker for every new pill that hits the market.

Oh, a hypochondriac.

This one goes in the x-ray department.

This one's for the teeth.

Here, this one's for the stomach.

Is he married?

Married? I should say not.

Why, he couldn't take his mind off his phony stomachache long enough to give

even Miss America a tumble.

Too bad, too.

Ray's been crazy about him for so long.

Who's Ray?

Ray Lane, the girl who just hired you.

She's swell.

Her face wouldn't win no beauty prize, but she's got a figure that'd make Venus

blush with shame.

There she is.

Isn't she graceful? Yeah.

Strange face.

Looks like an Indian or something.

Yeah, that's what everybody thinks. Maybe that's why the boss doesn't fall

for her. Shh.

Do you think she heard?

Dr. John, no medical aid seems to help him. It's doctors, medicines from

morning till night. But Ray, our method of obtaining members is not by

solicitation. I know, but his going means so much to me. My happiness.

You see, I'm very fond of him, Dr. John.

In fact, I'm in love with him.

Well, that does make a difference.

Ray?

As an old friend, I must warn you that you'll never find true happiness with a

man like Robert Lawton. Do you mean because of his mental state? His

imaginary ills? No, not because of that, Ray.

I know that your mother and father were Caucasians.

So perhaps were their parents and grandparents.

But you, Ray, have a cast of another race.

Your features will cause his relatives and friends, possibly, Someday he

himself to say that East is East and West is... Well, you know the rest.

But why must I always lose my chance for happiness?

Haven't I a right to expect... Oh, Dr.

John, please go and see him.

I'm sorry, Ray. I... I'll

call on him this afternoon.

Thank you, Doctor.

And he must know my talking to you. I understand, my dear. Thank you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Just this morning, my doctor told me there was nothing wrong, but he was

mistaken. I know how I feel. I feel nervous.

That pain's just under my heart.

Imagine him telling me there was nothing wrong. Of course there must be something

wrong. Your doctor simply gave one man's opinion.

We doctors often differ.

However, there are other and older remedies than pills and powders. For

instance? Well, a complete change from this world of business and society.

An escape, not to some resort with its formalities, but a place where sunshine

and good fellowship will make you forget your upset nerves and stomach aches.

Well, I've tried everything else, but this seems so different.

It seems there should be absolute privacy. There is.

The camp is located in several hundred acres of secluded beauty, and membership

is exclusive.

The identity of members is restricted to... First names.

You really believe this is what I need?

Definitely. I've known many with the same problem.

After you return from months vacation up there, why, you'll be like a new man.

Doctor, I think I'll try it.

You can reserve a suite at the hotel for me, and where do I send my luggage? Oh,

there's no hotel.

We're going to live in a cabin or a tent, whichever is available.

And I don't know just what you're going to use any luggage for.

Well, perhaps not.

You see, this is quite a new experience.

If you'll present this card to the director of the camp, he'll register

your application for membership.

Good day, Mr. Lawton.

Good day, Doctor.

Thank you.

You know, Ray, Miss Lane, I've decided to take a little vacation.

Get away from business and society.

Escape into fresh air and sunshine and good fellowship and all that sort of

thing.

You know, that doctor was just here.

Yes, Robert?

The doctor, that is...

What was I going to say? I can't remember.

I guess it isn't important.

Oh, I know.

I decided to go away.

Isn't this rather sudden?

Where are you going?

Where? Oh, well, I don't know just yet, but I'll decide and let you know later.

In the meantime, you carry on in your own capable way.

Well, goodbye, Miss Lane.

Goodbye.

Dr. Melvin, this is Ray.

Yes, he's leaving for camp tomorrow.

Will you be up for the weekend?

Oh, well, I'll see you later then.

Thanks. Goodbye.

Heidi How do you do are you beat that's right, dr. Marvin asked me to give you

this card Pleased to meet you Robert glad to know you Pete.

I've been led in addition to the members. Thank you

You just have time for a plunge before lunch.

Please sign the register.

Just sign Robert members are known by their first names.

Attention, folks.

I wish to announce the arrival of a prospective member.

Let us give Robert a hearty welcome.

Come, I'll show you to your cabin.

Now, this is your new home.

Thank you, sir.

Now, make yourself comfortable.

Thanks, Pete.

Thank you.

You thought you'd get away from Dr. Reed, did you?

Why, you...

Thank you.

This one's for Dr.

Sawyer. Only aches and pains.

Thank you.

Many happy and glorious days may they never end

See I'm gonna have a birthday too

very soon when wouldn't you like to know Will you come to my party? Well, I

Let's go meet him.

Oh, break down, lady. Did you know the prince before he was divorced?

Get out of here.

Will you get out of here?

Oh, it is.

Well, please get me the manager immediately.

Oh, you're very sorry.

Well, what good is that to me? With doormen, detectives, bellboys, and a

thousand servants, the public have a highway to my room, and you're sorry.

Very well, be sorry. I'm leaving.

Did I know Prince Nikola before he was divorced?

Of all the petty, mean, insinuating little beasts reporters are, what they

mean is, am I going to finance the next war, keep their half-baked royalty and

wine women in song?

I am not.

I'm through with panty-waisted puppets, run-down royalty, and bowing buffoons.

Is Madame Barbara... What, you again?

All right, sister, but I'll be trailing you.

Trailing you?

Trailer. Get packed, Marie. I'm getting out of here in a hurry.

Where are you going, ma'am?

Where are you going? As far as I can, away from reporters and scandamongers.

I'm sick of them.

And listen, from now on, the patent medicine queen is dead.

Today, I become ordinary Barbara Smith.

Understand?

Get me Gladstone 9517, please.

Thank you.

Emma, I have a grand idea.

Now, don't ask any questions. Just pack together a lot of ruff and tumble duds,

and we're going to start traveling.

Where? Oh, it doesn't make any difference where.

The disappearance of Barbara Pinky Pound, patent medicine queen, holds a

new spotlight for the third day. Police now fear she may be a victim of the snap

track, although no demand for ransom has as yet been made.

This concludes the 4 p.m. broadcast.

The reporter will be on the air again at 5 p.m.

Johnny Jones, your intimate radio reporter, brings you the latest.

Barbara Pound, playgirl heiress to the patent medicine millions of George

Pound, was reported seen alive today.

Previous reports hinted at kidnapping, but from appearances, Pinky is traveling

incognito.

Let's head up the next side road.

This one looks good to me. Get out and open the gate.

Well, do you think we're on the inside or the outside of the gate? Hmm that

other gate must have been the rear entrance Seems to be nobody in there.

Hey there.

Hey there. Is anyone in there?

Let's try to get in and camp off the road until morning. We'll take no more

chances on the highway Wonder what all the locks are for Maybe I got a key to

fit one Hey there is anybody there

This is the way we wash our clothes so early in the morning.

This is the way we wash our clothes, wash our clothes, wash our clothes.

This is the way we wash our clothes so early in the morning.

You know, the sunbathing Roman style is kind of fetching.

Yeah. Yeah, you'd be fetching if a Roman Romeo roamed over the hills.

Hello.

I wonder who they are. Let's go down and see.

Go ahead.

Let me in.

Let me in. Shall we open the door?

Well, we might as well. They can't be any worse than the highway police.

What's the matter?

Matter?

Who's that naked man out there?

Why, that's Robert.

He's a member.

Haven't you met him? Member? Of what?

Of the nudist camp. Aren't you members?

Nudists? Gosh, no. We're tourists.

Ouch. Well, how interesting.

Can anyone join the camp?

Oh, Robert, come here.

These girls came here by mistake.

Now they want to become members. Do you think we could sponsor them?

Why not? We can try.

The more the merrier. Well, I'm Barbara, and this is Emma.

How do you do?

More than glad.

I'll drive you up to camp.

members have entered the camp.

They are Barbara and Emma, sponsored by Ray and Robert.

Let us give them a royal welcome.

Now we've arrived at the place where you can bare your body to the healthful rays

of the sun. What? Do you mean I have to take my clothes off to stay here?

Well, in a nude, you have to do as a nudist do.

What? Get my bark all tan?

Nothing doing.

Tan bark, get it?

Why, I shiver and spin in my timbers.

Well, then, I guess there's nothing to do, but you'll just have to go back to

school. Go?

Go?

Wow, that's different.

Hmm, one second thought, I think I'll... I like it here.

Yes. Crazy about it. Why, I'll never leave the Nunes camp as long as I'm

here. I'll never leave the Nunes camp as long as I'm here.

Boy, oh boy, oh boy, oh boy.

I'm all glad we came up here.

Say,

why didn't you think of this before?

This is a swell idea.

Imagine that beast.

Hey, get out of there.

That's my tuxedo.

So you think you're going to like it?

Like it? Why, that's just putting it mildly.

Say John, let's see the meat.

Junior, would you mind handing over the butter?

Please pass the salt, Peter.

Sure, Anthony.

Thank you.

This is to the right of us. This is to the left of us.

More than 600.

Say, you're quite a dishwasher.

Well, I'm glad to know that.

You know, lady, I think I'll recommend you to Pete.

Maybe I can get you a permanent job.

Oh, you will, will you? You bet I will.

Hey!

Cut it out!

That is all of little value when estimated intellectually, and is far

from ebbing science, much less wisdom.

But repeated once more, and three times repeated, it is expediency, expediency,

expediency, mixed with stupidity.

And now, shall we discuss the subject for better understanding?

Professor, isn't it true that this belief was held?

whether it be the indifference or statuous coldness which the Stoics

advise and foster, or the no more laughing, no more weeping of Spinoza,

the destruction by analysis and vivisection.

I can honestly agree with his disparagement of Aristotelianism. I have

always favored the lowering of the emotions to an innocent means where they

can be satisfied.

No, you're wrong there.

I'm convinced that the fullest enjoyment is derived from the symbolism of art.

The hell you're saying?

In this old world, there's a modern trend for analyzing everybody's friend.

What is it?

Psychosis. When your tummy aches, it goes to show there's something wrong

with your so-and-so.

What is it?

Why, even love can be classified as an animal urge to be pacified.

How can we be satisfied?

Introverts, extroverts, disconverts, converts, experts, foolishverts, no

desserts. Oh, nuts.

You're my innovation and you're bad for my condition.

But I'm so psychologically wrong.

you drive me to distraction but biologically i got the gun whoa we knew

you had a complex cause you hadn't any reflex when we didn't register with you

now we're broken hearted cause you said we were retarded there's only one thing

left to do

not so dumb.

Volleyball, are you coming? All right, in just a minute.

Well, what shall I say? Well, say anything.

Well, here's to freedom.

Excuse me.

I didn't know you were having a party.

Hmm. Ain't you exclusive?

Robert and Barbara haven't one, too.

They kicked me out.

Well, three's a crowd anyway.

But I always seem to be third in every place.

Especially since Robert sort of moved in on Barbara.

Oh, I don't mean really, but it's getting mighty serious.

And her just getting rid of a pack of counts and other wolves.

Well, so long.

Leave my bundle of mussels. Tell him I'm looking for him.

here, you folks will have to be very careful.

Because I've got a lot of sisters, brothers, cousins, and aunts around me.

Why, only yesterday, Aunt Maple Tree up there on West Slope told me about

throwing some shade over Robert and Barbara.

Oh, hello, Robert.

Hello, Barbara.

Don't worry, I won't tell all.

little man, you've had a busy day. What do you mean, busy day?

Early to bed and early to rise.

I know. Makes you cock-eyed and unwise.

Oh, well, guess I'll have to go to bed.

I want to go to the sink some night.

Jimmy, won't you sing us a song?

Thank you.

you

Thank you.