Original subtitles

Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his 35th

year.

Over the next decade, he and his wife had three children, and then they

separated.

Are you getting divorced?

At the moment, no.

But it doesn't look good.

Do you still love us?

Of course I do.

Do you still love Mom?

Yes, very much, but your mother's asked me to leave, and I must respect her

position on the matter. Was it our fault?

No.

Obviously, we made certain sacrifices as a result of having children, but no,

Lord, no.

Then why'd she ask you to leave?

I don't really know anymore.

Maybe I wasn't as true to her as I could have been.

Well, she says... Let's just drop it, shall we? They were never legally

divorced.

Thank you.

Etheline Tenenbaum kept the house and raised the children, and their education

was her highest priority.

Yes, I'll hold, please.

Thank you. I need $187.

Write yourself a check.

Bene. Si.

She wrote a book on the subject.

The gentleman in the blue cardigan, please.

Thank you. I have a two-part question.

Go ahead.

In the sixth grade, he went into business breeding Dalmatian mice, which

he sold to a pet shop in Little Tokyo.

He started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost

preternatural understanding of international finance.

He negotiated the purchase of his father's summer house on Eagle's Island.

Hold it, Chazzy.

Hold it right there.

What are you doing? You're on my team.

There are no teams.

The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chaz's left hand.

Margot Tenenbaum was adopted at age two.

Her father had always noted this when introducing her. This is my adopted

daughter, Margot Tenenbaum.

She was a playwright and won a Braverman grant of $50,000 in the ninth grade.

She and her brother Richie ran away from home one winter and camped out in the

African wing of the public archives.

Hi, Eli.

You said I could run away too.

No, I didn't.

And don't tell anyone you saw us. They shared a sleeping bag and survived on

crackers and root beer.

Four years later, Margo disappeared alone for two weeks and came back with

half a finger missing.

Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion tennis player since the third grade.

He turned pro at 17 and won the US Nationals three years in a row.

He kept the studio in the corner of the ballroom, but had failed to develop as a

painter.

On weekends, Royal took him on outings

around the city.

These invitations were never extended to anyone else

Richie's best friend Eli cash

lived with his aunt in the building across the street It was a regular

fixture at family gatherings holidays mornings before school and most

afternoons

The three Tenenbaum children performed Margot's first play on the night of her

11th birthday.

They had agreed to invite their father to the party.

What'd you think, Dad?

Didn't seem believable to me.

Why are you wearing pajamas?

Do you live here?

He has permission to sleep over.

Well, did you at least think the characters were well-developed? What

characters? There's a bunch of little kids there dressed up in animal

costumes. Good night, everyone.

Well, sweetie, don't be mad at me. That's just one man's opinion.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. He had not been invited to any of their parties since.

In fact, virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums had

been erased by two decades of betrayal, failure.

Go, Mordecai!

I've been instructed to refuse any further charges on your room account and

to direct you in writing to please vacate the premises by the end of the

month.

What about Sing Sang?

I will wear a hundred.

Royal had lived in the Lindbergh Palace Hotel for 22 years.

Can you pay her in cash?

He was a prominent litigator until the mid-80s, when he was disbarred and

briefly imprisoned.

No one in his family had spoken to him in three years.

Read it back to me so far, Pietro.

Dear Eli, I'm in the middle of the ocean. I haven't left my room in four

days. I've never been more lonely in my life, and I think I'm in love with

Marco.

New paragraph.

Richie had retired from professional tennis at 26.

His last match had been widely discussed in the media.

Your friend Richie, end of letter.

For the past year, he had been traveling alone on an ocean liner called the Cote

d'Ivoire and had seen both poles, five oceans, the Amazon and the Nile.

The crickets and the rust beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sage

thicket.

Vamanos, amigos, he whispered and threw the busted leather flint craw over the

loose weave of the saddle cock.

And they rode on in the friscalating dusk light.

Eli was an assistant professor of English literature at Brooks College.

The recent publication of his second novel had

earned him a sudden, unexpected literary celebrity.

Well, everyone knows Custer died at Little Big Horn. What this book

presupposes is... Maybe he didn't?

Let me ask you something. Why would a review make the point of saying

someone's not a genius?

You think I'm especially not a genius?

I don't... You didn't even have to think about it, did you?

Well, I just don't use that word lightly.

I have to go, Eli.

Margo?

Uh-huh?

May I come in, please?

How are you, my darling?

Margot was married to the writer and neurologist, Raleigh Sinclair.

I'm fine, thank you.

You need to eat something.

May I make you dinner?

No, thank you.

She was known for her extreme secrecy.

For example, none of the Tenenbaums knew she was a smoker, which she had been

since the age of 12.

Nor were they aware of her first marriage and divorce to a recording

artist in Jamaica.

She kept a private studio in Mockingbird Heights under the name Helen Scott.

She had not completed a play in seven years.

17 October, third examination of Dudley Heinsbergen.

All right, Dudley.

Make yours like mine.

Raleigh's next book was on the subject of a condition he called Heinsbergen

syndrome.

Where's that red one gonna go?

Done.

Good. Very good.

Oh my goodness.

How interesting.

How bizarre.

Dudley suffers from a rare disorder combining symptoms of amnesia, dyslexia

and colorblindness with a highly acute sense of hearing.

There is also evidence... I'm not colorblind, am I?

I'm afraid you are.

Uzi! Emergency!

Let's go!

Uzi!

What did I just say? Look alive!

Liar! Chaz's wife, Rachel, was killed in a plane crash the previous summer.

Chaz and their two sons, Ari and Uzi, were also on the flight and survived.

As did their dog, who was discovered in his cage several thousand yards from the

crash site.

Four minutes, 48 seconds.

We're all dead. Burned to a crisp.

Over the last six months, he had become increasingly concerned with their

safety.

Doesn't matter.

Apropos of my question regarding I-40 slash I-9 adjustments...

It would probably be advantageous for your marital status to be legally

established as single in light of the circumstances.

What do you mean?

I mean for tax purposes.

But I thought... Ethelene.

Yes? Will you marry me?

I love you.

Did you already know that?

No, I didn't.

Since her separation from her husband, she had had many suitors.

had not considered a single one until this moment.

This isn't really a tax issue, is it?

That's true.

I don't know why I put it that way.

Let me think about it, Henry.

Hello, please.

Tell Mr. Royal this is the Pagoda.

Lobby. Thank you, Dusty.

You're welcome.

Good morning, Jerry.

Oh, there's a call for you, Mr. Tenenbaum.

Who is it, Frederick?

A Mr. Pagoda?

What do you got?

The black man asked her to be his wife.

What death will say?

She thinks about it.

I don't like the sound of this one damn bit. I mean, Lord knows I've had my

share of infidelities, but she's still my wife.

And no damn two-bid chartered accountant is going to change that.

Hey, Pagoda.

Give us a hand, huh?

Chaz?

What's going on?

We got locked out of our apartment.

Did you call a locksmith?

Uh-huh.

I don't understand.

Did you pack your bags before you got locked out, or how did you... It's not

safe over there.

Excuse me for the moment.

What are you talking about?

The apartment.

I have to get some new sprinklers and a backup security system installed.

But there are no sprinklers here either.

Well, we might have to do something about that too.

Okay. Isn't this fun, huh?

Isn't this great?

Just like we're camping.

When are we going home?

Huh? Hey, look at this.

Pretty cool, huh?

Let me put that in here.

Okay.

Well, I will see you boys in the morning.

Goodnight. Goodnight.

You know what?

I think I'm gonna sleep in here with you.

That way, we can all be together.

What kind of side effects can be expected?

Well, there are a number of possibilities.

Severe nausea and dizziness are standard.

A certain percentage of patients may also experience seizure.

You mean like flopping around on the floor and everything?

In some cases.

You have a visitor, my darling.

Who is it?

It's me, sweetie.

Raleigh says you've been spending six hours a day locked in here watching

television and soaking in the tub.

I doubt that.

I don't think that's very healthy, do you?

Nor do I think it's very intelligent to keep an electrical gadget on the edge of

the bathtub.

I tied it to the radiator.

Well, it can't be very good for your eyes anyway.

He and Aria knows you're going to stay with me for a little while.

Why are they allowed to do that?

I don't know exactly, but I think he's being very depressed.

So am I.

So are you, Wood.

But why is this necessary?

Because I'm in a rut and I need a change.

Hang on.

That cab has a dent in it.

You don't love me anymore, do you? I do, kind of.

I can't explain it right now.

Another dent here, and another dent here.

I'll call you, okay?

Hello.

Hello.

Hello, beautiful.

Got a minute?

What are you doing here?

I need a favor.

I want to spend some time with you and the children.

Crazy. Well, wait a minute, damn it. Stop following me. I want my family

back.

Well, you can't have it. I'm sorry for you, but it's too late.

Listen, baby, I'm dying.

Yeah, I'm sick as a dog.

I'll be dead in six weeks.

I'm dying.

What are you talking about?

What's happening?

Oh, I'm sorry.

I didn't know.

Okay, I'm not dying But I need some time

a month or so, okay, I want it I want us to

Are you crazy?

I thought, baby, I am dying.

Are you or aren't you?

What? Dying?

Yeah.

Have you told your children?

More or less.

And are they alright?

It's hard to say.

Who's your father?

His name is Royal Tenenbaum.

You told us he was already dead.

Yeah, well now he's really dying.

Ready? I'm very sorry, Margot.

That's okay.

We're not actually related anyway.

True.

I'd like to send a response, please.

Yes, go ahead.

Dear Mom, I received your message. I'm coming home as soon as possible.

What do I see about that?

The ship's porter arranged for Ritchie to disembark at Halifax and transfer to

a third-class stateroom on board the Queen Helena, destined for the eastern

seaboard.

His trunks would not arrive for another 11 days.

Hey, bomber.

Do you mind if we get a picture with you?

Not at all.

He had made a request for his usual escort, the one from his days on the

circuit, to meet him at the pier by way of the Green Line bus.

As always, she was late.

I've been out walking I don't do too much talking

these days These days

These days I seem to think a lot about the things that I forgot

to do

Stand up straight and let me get a look at you.

What's so funny?

Well, it's nice to see you too.

Atheline found all of her children living together under the same roof for

the first time in 17 years.

The next morning,

Richie woke at dawn.

He had decided birds should not be kept in cages, fed Mordecai three sardines,

and set him free.

I've missed the hell out of you, my darling.

Well,

you know that, though, don't you?

I hear you're dying.

So they tell me.

I'm sorry.

Well, I've had a good run.

You don't look so sick, Dad.

Thank you.

What have you got?

I got a pretty bad case of cancer.

How long are you going to last?

Not long.

A month? A year?

About six weeks.

Let me get to the point. The three of you and your mother are all I've got,

and I love you more than anything.

Chaz, let me finish here.

I've got six weeks to set things right with you, and I aim to do it.

Will you give me a chance?

No. Do you speak for everyone?

I speak for myself.

Well, you've made your views known. I'll let somebody else do some of the talking

now. What do you propose to do?

I can't say, really.

Make up for a lost time, I suppose.

First thing I want to do is take you out to see your grandmother at some point.

I haven't been out there since I was six.

I haven't been out there at all. I was never invited.

Well, she wasn't your real grandmother, and I never knew how much interest you

had, sweetie.

Anyway, you're invited now.

Thanks.

You know, Rachel's buried out there, too.

Who?

My wife.

Oh, that's right, isn't it? Well, we'll have to swing by her grave, too.

I'll be right back.

Chaz?

Chaz?

Can I see my grandsons?

Why?

Because I finally want to meet them.

Don't give me that guff.

I think we'll pass.

Pagoda.

Where's my javelina?

I'll say goodnight to you now, children.

Dad.

Thank you, my sweet boy.

I'll contact you in the next 12 hours with further instructions.

Look at that old grizzly bear.

Hello, Athol.

Good evening, sir.

Hold the cab, will you, driver?

Royal, this is Henry Sherman.

Hey, lay it on me, man. How do you do?

Not too well. I'm dying.

How's Richie?

I don't know. I can't tell.

Yeah, me neither.

He wrote me a letter.

He says he's in love with you.

What are you talking about?

That's what he said.

I don't know how we're supposed to take it.

Sugar, it's Eli.

What are we doing, Eli?

Oh, I just got to pick something up.

Don't repeat that, by the way, about Richie.

He's told to me in confidence.

Good.

Now just remove the loose soil.

And note the decomposition levels.

I'm sorry to interrupt your work.

Don't be silly.

I just want to apologize for the other day when I proposed to you. Why? I

thought it was very sweet.

I know I'm not as accomplished as some of the men you've been involved with.

Franklin Benedict, General Cartwright, your ex-husband.

Oh, that's ridiculous. But I feel...

I can offer just as much as them.

I know I went about it backwards, but... Henry, I have no interest in Franklin

Benedict or Doug Cartwright. I never did. And as far as Royal's concerned,

he's the most... Henry?

Henry, are you all right? Yeah, I'm fine.

Anyway,

let me know when you make up your mind.

Henry, wait a second.

I'm sorry. I'm very nervous.

Yeah, that's okay.

Thank you.

Why are you so nervous?

Well, to tell you the truth, I haven't slept with a man in 18 years.

La la la

That's a hell of an old hound dog you got there.

What's he go by?

Buckley. Buckley.

Sit.

You know who I am?

I'm royal.

Have you heard of me?

I'm very sorry for your loss.

Your mother was a terribly attractive woman.

Thank you.

Which one are you?

Ari.

Uzi, I'm your granddad.

Hello. I'm sorry we haven't gotten to know each other. I don't get invited

around very much.

What do you think of that, by the way?

You don't have to say anything.

It's kind of a fuck you to the old man, I guess.

How's your daddy?

Fine. You think so?

How often has he got you working out?

Sixteen times a week.

Do me a favor.

Tell him you want to meet me.

But we just met.

No, we didn't.

Look, I'd like us to have a relationship, but we have to pull some

strings to make it happen.

Now, here's what you tell him.

You say... Well, I bet Mom would have wanted us to meet him before he died.

Wouldn't she?

Don't you think?

She's a tough old broad, wasn't she?

I wouldn't know.

Excuse me.

Oh, that's right. We've got another body buried here.

Hold on.

Take some of these.

So what do you think of this big old black buck moving in up there?

Who?

Henry Sherman. You know him?

Yeah.

Is he with her, Dan?

I believe so.

What happened to your finger?

Lucy, shh.

It's okay, I'll tell you. I'm adopted, did you know that?

Well, I am.

When I was 14, I went to find my real family.

They live in Indiana.

All right, now, just set one of them hickory chunks right up top there,

Sister Maggie.

Did you try to sew it back on?

Wasn't worth it.

Hell of a damn grave.

Wish it were mine.

It's a shame, isn't it?

What? You probably had another good two or three years of competitive play in

you.

Probably.

I had a lot riding on that match, you know.

Financially and personally.

Why'd you choke out there that day, bummer?

Mr. Gandhi leads 40-15.

That's 72 unforced errors for Richie Tenenbaum. He's playing the worst tennis

of his life. What's he feeling right now, Tex Hayward? I don't know, Jim.

There's obviously something wrong with him. He's taken off his shoes and one of

his socks.

Actually, I think he's crying.

I think you're right.

Who's he looking at in the friend's box, Tex?

That's his sister Margo and her new husband, Raleigh Sinclair.

They were just married yesterday, Jim.

Oh, yeah.

I've never seen anything like

this. Neither have I.

Strange day out here at Windswept Fields.

They kind of disappeared after that, didn't they?

But I understood.

I know you're not very good with disappointment.

You still got that little BB in your hands, has he?

Why'd you shoot me?

It was the object of the game, wasn't it?

No.

We were on the same team, were we?

Well, you sued me twice, got me disbarred. I don't hold it against you,

do I?

And how is it possible for Mr. Tannenbaum to withdraw these funds

without your written authorization?

Objection, Your Honor, damn it. Why don't you leave the objections to me,

Royal? Because I started the corporation when I was a minor, so my father was the

primary signatory on most of my accounts.

He also stole bonds out of my safety deposit box when I was 14.

You think you could start forgiving me?

Why should I?

Because you're hurting me.

Come on.

Were you in prison?

Kind of.

Minimum security. I got jacked by the IRS.

Should we split?

Yes, sir.

No, call me Mr. Tenenbaum.

Okay.

No, I'm kidding. Call me Pappy.

Okay.

Come on, let's check this.

Well, just let me know if you need somebody to talk to, okay? I like

Raleigh very much.

I know he's a lot older than you are, and you two are having some problems.

But, anyway, maybe I can help.

Okay. Thanks.

Hey, Bama!

All right!

All right!

By the way, I heard about that letter you sent to Eli.

I dropped some cigarettes.

Those aren't mine.

They just fell out of your pocket.

My lord, look at you.

Come in.

Did you tell Marco about that letter I wrote to you?

Why? Did you mention it?

Yes, I did.

Why would you repeat that, I wonder?

Well, I would ask you the same question.

Rightly so.

What'd you say?

Hm?

What?

I didn't say anything.

When? Right now?

I'm sorry, don't listen to me.

I'm masculine.

I've been spaced out all day.

Did you say you're on mescaline?

I did indeed.

Very much so.

How often do you, uh... I'm worried about you, Richie.

Why?

Well, actually, Margo is for some reason.

But I did find it odd when you said you were in love with her.

She's married, you know.

Yeah.

And she's your sister.

Adopt him.

Where are my encyclopedias? They've been placed in storage.

Well, damn you. You're taking my encyclopedias. This is humiliating. I'm

sorry. Would you like to make a complaint? Where am I supposed to go?

You're turning me into a damn hobo. I'd be happy to make a reservation for you

at another hotel. You son of a bitch. Frederick.

Hello there, Dusty.

Hello.

Could you spot me a quarter?

Of course.

Richie? Hi.

It's your dad.

I think he's very lonely.

Lonelier than he lets on.

Maybe lonelier than he even realizes.

Have you spoken to him about this?

Briefly. And he agreed that... I'm sorry. Maybe I'm a little confused here.

What are you suggesting?

That he'd come here and stay in my room.

Are you out of your mind?

No, I'm not.

Anyway, I think that he'd be much more comfortable here than he was... Who

gives a shit?

I do.

You poor sucker.

You poor, washed-up papa's boy.

All right, listen, I can get out of here. Please don't get in the middle of

this, Mr. Sherman. This is a family matter. Don't talk to him like that.

Call me Henry.

I prefer Mr.

Sherman. Call him Henry. Why?

I don't know him that well.

You've known him for ten years.

As your accountant, Mr. Sherman, yes.

Where are you going to sleep?

I'm just going to camp out upstairs.

We don't mind, Dad. We like him. Who, Pappy?

Pappy?

He can sleep in the room above us. Ari, it's not your decision.

Nor is it yours.

Well, he's already up there.

What?

I think he's asleep because of the medication he's on, but I guess you can

wake him up and throw him out.

If mom says it's okay.

Get out.

All right.

Let me just collect my thing.

Would you mind handing me my cane, Richie?

Let me see. Where's my suitcases?

Thanks.

Dad!

Grab me a Nemetol, will you, son?

Are you okay?

The fuck you care?

Oh, my goodness.

Magoga, call Dr.

McClure.

Take a breath and hold it.

Now cough.

His condition is stable. The attack was just a side effect.

I recommend you push fluids and continue the stomach cancer medication.

Can we move him?

Absolutely not.

For how long?

We'll have to wait and see.

Is he gonna be all right?

That depends.

Is he a fighter?

Yeah. Then that's the best we've got.

The goat is in possession of a parcel containing my will and some instructions

for the funeral, including my epitaph for when the time comes.

Proofread it for me before they carve it on the headstone, okay?

Okay.

I never did stop loving you, by the way.

Do you believe that?

Not really.

You look terrific.

The dress is stunning.

Lights out, old man.

Thought I'd read for a while, Chaz.

Sorry, 11.30.

Lights out.

I'm right in the middle of a sentence.

You have to finish it in the morning.

Them's the rules.

Chaz.

Good night, my boy.

Looks like you and dad are back together again, huh?

He's your dad too, Chaz.

No, he's not.

Yes, he is.

You really hate me, don't you? No, I don't. I love you.

Well, I don't know what you think you're gonna get out of this, but believe me,

whatever it is, it's not worth it.

Chaz, I don't want to hurt you.

I know what you and the boys have been through. You're my brother, and I love

you. Stop saying that.

What's that jackass doing?

I know you, asshole!

Did Eli send you that?

Mm-hmm.

He always sends me his clippings.

What for?

I think he just likes the encouragement.

He's done it for years. He used to send me his grades in college.

That's ridiculous.

How long do you intend to stay here?

I don't know.

Are you ever coming home?

Maybe not.

You're joking.

I want to die.

Raleigh, please.

Have you met someone else?

I couldn't even begin to think about knowing how to answer that question.

I don't like the way you're treating Raleigh.

What are you talking about? You don't even know him.

Well, I've met him and I don't think he deserves... Stay out of it.

You're two-timing him with that bloodsucker Eli Cash.

That's just not right, damn it.

You used to be a genius.

No, I didn't.

Well, that's what they used to say.

Richard, I know you're terribly close to Margot and probably understand her

better than anyone.

May I confide in you?

Okay.

I believe she's having an affair.

I'm utterly devastated.

I don't know where else to turn.

Will you advise me?

What do you want to do?

I don't know.

Perhaps... Find the guy and get him?

Well, no. I thought... What do you

think it might be?

I don't know at the moment.

Let's look at the actual, okay?

I agree with you 100%. That's why we have marketing grids.

Hey.

What do you say we go down to Little Tokyo and get some fireworks?

What do you need?

Nothing.

I see you got them crunching numbers for you.

Please don't come in this room.

Jez has those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits, Ethel.

He has his reasons.

Well, I know that, but you can't raise boys to be scared of life. You gotta

bruise some recklessness into them.

I think that's terrible advice.

No, you don't I'm not talking about

dance lessons.

I'm talking about putting a brick through the other guy's windshield.

I'm talking about Taking it out and chopping it up

It's against the law.

It was against the law.

I read your mama's song.

It was against the law.

Mama looked down and spit on the ground every time her name gets mentioned.

Papa said, oh, if I get that boy, I'm going to stick him in the house of

detention.

Well, I'm on my way.

I don't know where I'm going.

I'm on my way.

I'm taking my time, but I don't know where Goodbye to Rosie, the queen of

Corona See me and Julio down by the schoolyard See

me and Julio down by the schoolyard

He saved my life, you know.

30 years ago, I was knifed in a bazaar in Calcutta. He carried me in the

hospital on his back.

Who stabbed you?

He did.

There was a price on my head, and he was a hired assassin.

Stuck me right in the gut with that. Shoot.

Where have you been?

Well, we just stepped out to get some air.

What's that?

Holy shit. That's not... What is that?

Oh, no, no. That's, uh, dog's blood.

What?

You stay away from my children. Do you understand?

My God, I haven't been in here for years. Hey!

Are you listening to me?

Yes, I am!

I think you're having a nervous breakdown.

I don't think you recovered from Rachel's death.

There you are.

How are you feeling?

I'm having a ball.

Scrapping and yelling and mixing it up.

Loving every minute with this damn crew.

I want to thank you for raising our children, by the way.

Okay.

I'm not kidding.

You always put them first, didn't you?

I tried to.

Lately, I feel like maybe I didn't do such a great job.

God damn it. Don't do that to yourself.

I'm the one that failed or anyway, it's nobody's fault plus that Why didn't you

give a damn about us royal?

Why didn't you care?

I Don't know I'm ashamed of myself

I'll tell you one thing though

You got more grit fire and guts than any woman I've ever met

What what do you smile about nothing look I know it what's so funny nothing

these little expressions of yours I Don't know what you're talking about,

but I'll take it as a compliment You're true blue Ethel you

really are How's your love life

none of your business

I'd like you to talk to Roy about us, if you don't mind.

I don't think the timing's right for that, Henry.

Well, I'd agree if I thought he was really gonna die in six weeks.

But I don't.

Well, I hope you're right.

Actually, I don't believe I'll join you tonight.

I'll call you in the morning.

She said that?

Great.

Got the sucker on the ropes.

Can I ask you something, Hank?

Are you trying to steal my woman?

I beg your pardon?

You heard me, Coltrane.

Coltrane?

What? Did you just call me Coltrane?

No.

You didn't?

No.

Okay.

But if I did, you wouldn't be able to do anything about it, would you?

You don't think so?

Listen, Royale, if you think you can... You want to talk some jive?

I'll talk some jive.

I'll talk some jive like you never heard. Oh, yeah?

Right on.

Sit down.

What? What did you say? I said sit down. Oh, I heard you. I want you out of my

house. I'm just about to break your ass out.

Don't talk somatics. No, that's just not it. What's going on here?

Nothing.

Hello, I'm calling in regards to a Dr. McClure. Yes, at Kobe General.

The name of the patient is Royal Tenenbaum.

Hmm.

Is that a Tic Tac?

I'mma jizzy pee in here.

I don't know what you're talking about.

Well, I grew up with the Tenenbaum family, you know.

Right. Across the street.

They've fallen on hard times now, haven't they?

I can't say no.

This is bullshit. Change it.

What did you do to your hand?

Nothing.

Can we get somebody over here to kill these mice for us?

No.

They belong to Chaz.

Or anyway, he invented them.

Well, get him to stick them in a fucking cage or something.

Ethelene, you mind coming up here for a minute, please?

What's cooking, Pops?

You'll see.

Now, your previous novel. Yes.

Wildcat. Right.

Not a success.

Why?

Well, Wildcat was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular.

Wildcat.

Wildcat.

Wildcat.

I'm gonna go.

I'm taking this off and I'm going.

I'm stepping out.

What the hell kind of way to act is that? Open the door.

He's on drugs.

I'll be right back.

James, Fred.

Hold on a minute, please.

What's going on?

Pagoda has something to say.

He has the cancer.

No, he doesn't.

I know what stomach cancer looks like.

I've seen it.

And you don't eat three cheeseburgers a day with French fries if you got it.

The pain is excruciating.

How would you know?

My wife had it.

Not only is there no Dr. McClure at Kobe General, there is no Kobe General.

It closed in 1974.

Oh, shit, man.

Oh, shit, man.

Yes, can you send a taxi to 111 Archer Avenue right away, please?

Thank you.

I guess we're back out on the street now, pal.

Were you part of this pagoda?

Of course he was.

No. Well, yeah, he was, but, I mean, he wasn't that involved.

Don't you get all these medical supplies?

The guy at St. Pete's owed me a favor.

I did some malpractice work for him.

I do have high blood pressure, though.

Look, I know I'm going to be the bad guy on this one.

But I just want to say the last six days have been the best six days of problem

in my whole life.

Immediately after making this statement, Royal realized that it was true.

Why'd you do this to us, Royal?

What was the point?

I thought I could win you back.

And then I thought I could get rid of Henry.

At least keep the status quo.

But we hadn't spoken in seven years.

I know.

Plus, uh... I was broke.

And I got kicked out of my hotel.

You're a bastard.

Goodbye, Royal.

Take it easy on those boys, Jesse.

I don't want this to happen to you.

Oh, Richie, this illness, this closeness to death has had a profound effect on

me. I feel like a different person. I really do.

Dad, you were never dying.

But I'm going to live.

He's not your father.

Neither are you.

You son of a bitch!

God damn!

That's the last time you put a knife at me, hear me?

The 375th Street Y, please.

Everyone's against me.

That's your fault, man.

Yeah, I know, but damn it.

I want this family to love me.

How much money you got?

I don't have.

What?

You broke?

You've got to be kidding me.

How are we going to pay for this room?

All right, we'll think of something.

I'm not in love with you anymore.

I didn't know you ever were.

Let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.

Okay.

Okay what?

Okay, I'm not in love with you either.

Yes, I know you're in love with Richie, which is sick and gross

Do you send my mother your clippings

and your grades from college Please

stop belittling me

You never gave me the time of day till I started getting good reviews.

Your reviews aren't that good.

But the sales are.

Gentlemen, how much do you already know?

Very little, I'm afraid.

Would you like to examine the report?

Yes.

Oh, yeah. Oh,

yeah.

Oh, yeah.

She smokes?

Yes.

All right. Well, everything seems to be in order.

I'll contact you in the next 24 hours.

I appreciate that.

Which way are you leaning, by the way?

I'll inform you of my decision at the appropriate time.

I get it.

Dusty, put in a good word for us, will you? I already did.

You wanna play some word games or do some experiments on me or anything?

Well...

Needle in the hay Needle in the hay

Needle in the hay

God, you can't mess it up tomorrow.

It all in the head

Dudley, where is he?

Who?

He'll probably sleep for several hours, and then I'll come back to check on him.

Alright?

How are you feeling?

Fine, thanks.

Are you in any pain?

Not really.

Why'd you try to kill yourself?

Don't press him right now.

I wrote a suicide note.

You did?

Yeah.

Right after I regained consciousness.

Can we read it?

No.

Can you paraphrase it for us?

I don't think so.

Is it dark?

Of course it's dark. It's a suicide note.

All right, that's enough.

Doctor said to let him sleep.

What? Cover for us, will you, Dusty?

Yes. Yes, Will.

You've made a cockle of me.

I know.

Many times over.

I'm sorry.

And you nearly killed your poor brother.

What's he talking about?

Doesn't matter.

She's bawling Eli Cash.

Oh my goodness.

May I have a cigarette?

What?

Shall I repeat the question?

You don't smoke.

I know I don't.

Anna White.

How long have you been a smoker?

22 years.

I think you should quit.

Richie Tenenbaum, please. Your name? Royal Tenenbaum.

I'm afraid visiting hours are over, sir.

Why, what does it say there? They don't want me? I'm sorry, I have to refer you

to Dr. Burroughs. He'll be in tomorrow afternoon.

Right.

We could shimmy up that gutter, jump over that window ledge, and then pry

open that ventilator shaft.

There he is.

Richie!

Richie!

Where's he going?

Richie!

Well, I have to say, he didn't look half bad for a suicide.

Attempted, anyway.

Thanks.

Please, give me a second grace.

Please,

give me a second face.

I've fallen far down.

The first time around, I just sit on the ground in your

way.

Now, if it's time for a compense for what's done.

Who's there?

Come.

Come sit down.

Hello?

What are you doing

in my tent?

Just listening to some records.

Aren't you supposed to be in the hospital?

Check myself out.

How many stitches did you get?

I don't know. You want to see?

Jesus. Reggie, that looks horrible.

I heard about your ex-husband.

Desmond? I guess so. I didn't get his name.

Yeah.

I met him in the ocean.

I was swimming and he came out to me in a canoe.

We were only married nine days.

And I heard about Eli.

No.

Poor Eli.

Anyway, we mostly just talked about you.

You did?

Yeah.

I guess that was the attraction, if you know what I mean.

I have to tell you something What's that?

I love you I love

you too

I can't stop thinking about you.

I went away for a year and it only got worse and I don't know what to do.

Let's lie down for a minute.

This is the sleeping bag we took to the museum, isn't it?

Why'd you do it?

Because of me?

Yeah, but it's not your fault.

You're not gonna do it again, are you?

I doubt it.

I think we're just gonna have to be secretly in love with each other and

leave it at that, Richie.

Lobby floor.

I deserve it.

Coin up.

Yeah.

The floor, sir.

Doesn't matter.

So you're elevator operators now? Yeah, just started.

We'll get a bump as soon as we join the union.

What made you decide to do that?

We're broke.

But in answer to your question, I wanted to prove I could pay my dues and

whatnot. I just hope somebody notices.

You asked me why I choked out there that day.

I think I may know the answer, and I wanted your advice.

Sure.

Margot Tenenbaum?

Yeah. Well, since when?

Since always.

Does she know?

Uh-huh.

Well, what does she feel about that?

I think she feels confused.

Well, I can understand that. It's probably illegal.

I don't think so. We're not related by blood.

That's true.

Still frowned upon.

But then what isn't these days, right?

I don't know. Maybe it works. Why not? What the hell? You love each other.

Nobody knows what's going to happen, so... You know something?

Don't listen to me.

I never understood her myself.

I never understood any of us.

I wish I could tell you what to do, but I just can't.

That's okay.

No, it's not.

Do you still consider me your father?

Sure I do.

I wish I had more to offer in that department.

I know you do, Pop.

I don't blame you, by the way.

She's a great looking girl and smart as a whip.

Mordecai.

Stephanie says...

that she wants to know why she's given half her

life to people she hates now.

Holy shit.

You came back.

Jiminy Crickets, that damn bird must have radar in its brain.

Is that you, Mordecai? I'm not so sure this is Mordecai. What do you mean? You

flew right in here.

The spirit has much more white feathers on him.

Well, this sandwich must be malted.

Oh, I need your help with something else. You got it. What's the situation?

Well, um, I think Eli may be... Hold it.

Pagoda, meet me in the lobby.

Let's hit it.

I didn't mean right this second, but it's okay.

I don't think it was Ramsey's.

I believe it was Tootin' Common.

Tutton come.

Tutton come? Yeah, Tutton.

Yes?

Hey Richie.

We want to take you to get some help.

Is it just you guys?

Would you excuse us, please?

Are

we

still friends?

What do you mean?

Are we?

Of course. How can you even ask me that?

It doesn't matter.

It doesn't matter. It does matter. I heard about you and Margo.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what to say. You don't have to say anything.

I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum, you know?

Me too.

It doesn't mean what it used to, though, does it?

I wish you'd done this for me when I was a kid.

But you didn't have a drug problem then.

Yeah, but it wouldn't have meant a lot to me.

Anyway, I'm glad you're here now.

I recognize that I have a problem.

And I'm gonna get better.

I'll just grab my stuff.

There he goes.

What? There he goes.

Doctor!

Excuse me. Excuse me.

I'd

like

to order some ice cream for my daughter, please.

What would you like, Martha?

Nothing. I told you I have to go in five minutes.

I'll have a butterscotch sundae, I guess.

Your brother's all torn up inside.

Well, so am I, but I'm not going to discuss it with you.

Well, can't somebody be a shit their whole life and try to repair the damage?

I mean, I think people want to hear that.

Do they?

You probably don't even know my middle name.

That's a trick question.

You don't have one.

Helen.

That was my mother's name.

I know it was.

Anybody interested in grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery?

I got something for you, Ethel.

Actually, I made it.

What's this?

It's a divorce.

From you?

Yes. This is Sanchez. He's a notary public.

Hello. Hello, sir. You just sign here, initial here, and sign there.

You own this building, don't you, Henry?

Hmm.

It's magnificent.

I used to be a homeowner myself until our son expropriated it from me.

Now here comes my bus.

Thanks, Sanchez. You're welcome.

Are we divorced?

Almost.

Sanchez just has to file the papers.

I love you, Ethelene.

Congratulations, both of you.

I didn't think so much of him at first.

But now I get it.

He's everything that I'm not.

Take back Pagoda, will you?

Slightly uneven.

It's okay.

I'm just nervous.

Henry?

Hello, Richie.

Hi. This is my son, Walter Sherman.

Hi, Walter. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

Henry's your dad?

Yes.

So you've been married before?

Yes. I'm a widower.

Oh, yeah.

Forgot.

You know, I'm a widower myself.

I know you're a jazz.

What are you chewing on?

My nicotine inhaler. It's supposed to help me quit.

Is it working?

Not really.

Well, of course, I'm half Hebrew.

But the children are three-quarters Catholic.

So they were raised in the church?

I believe so. I really don't know.

Here I come.

Boys!

I just crashed his car into the front of the house. Oh, my God.

Where's my shoe?

All right, Pussy, where are you?

They're okay, Chaz. It's okay. They're safe. What?

They're safe. Dad, they ran over Buckley. What? Yeah, I think we lost

Buckley. He saved him. Who?

Dad. He pulled him out of the way.

He did?

Did I hit anyone?

Is everybody okay?

Hey man, try this, it's very tasty.

Did I hit the dog?

Yeah.

Is he dead?

Yeah.

I need help.

So do I.

Go around the other side.

You can stay there. We'll be right back. Yeah.

Can I say something to you, Henry?

Okay. I've always been considered an asshole for about as long as I can

remember. That's just my style.

But I'd really feel blue if I didn't think you were going to forgive me.

I don't think you're an asshole, Royal.

I just think you're kind of a son of a bitch.

Well, I really appreciate that.

Could you let us in your backyard, ma'am? We've got a couple boys back

there. I think he may have broken an ankle.

Well, that's not terribly serious, is it?

Do you have an alternate?

No. Ready?

Are there priests on call?

Why don't you bring the car around, Don?

At which point I apparently lost control of the vehicle, smashed it in the house,

and killed that poor dog.

You're Eli Cash.

Yes, indeed I am.

I love your work. Oh, how sweet of you to say.

I think he's part mutt. What kind of papers

do you have for him?

Smart book. Sit.

Sit.

Good boy.

Put this on.

What's so funny, Dudley? You look great.

Can you see out of it? Not really.

Uh-huh.

Minor corneal damage.

Page me if it spreads to the other eye.

But these aren't structure-bearing ellens, Dad.

It doesn't matter. It's still best to file it under force majeure and recoup

the deductible.

You boys come up here with me.

But Buckley's still under there.

I know, but there's nothing we can do for him at the moment.

I got you a new dog for the boys.

I just bought him.

You did?

Sorry I let you down, Chaz.

All of you, uh... I've been trying to make it up to you.

What's his name?

Sparkplug.

Thank you. You're welcome.

I've had a rough year, Dad.

I know you have, Jazzy.

See, now he has more white feathers on his neck.

I wonder what happened to him.

I don't know.

Sometimes if a person has a traumatic experience, their hair turns white.

Well, I'm sure he'll get over it.

This was one of my first hiding places.

How old do you think those are?

I'd say about ten years.

Come here.

Royal dug a hole for Buckley behind the garden shed and buried him in a canvas

duffel bag. All right, boys.

Say a prayer.

Dear Heavenly Father... I do.

Ethelene and Henry were married 48 hours later in Judge's chambers.

Margot's new play was produced at the Cavendish Theatre.

This is my adopted daughter, Elaine Levinson.

It ran for just under two weeks and received mixed reviews.

Yes, can the boy tell time?

Oh, my lord, no.

No.

Raleigh and Dudley went on a lecture tour to 11 universities in the promotion

of their new book.

Eli checked himself into a rehabilitation hospital in North Dakota.

Oh, hey, this is my sponsor, Runs With Two Horses.

Wind's blowing up a gale today.

This is the grip that Rod Laver used.

Are you familiar with Laver?

Richie started a program teaching competitive tennis to 8 to 12-year-olds

at the 375th Street Y.

Game. Change sides.

Royal

had

a heart attack at the age of 68.

Chas rode with him in the ambulance and was the only witness to his father's

death.

In his will, he stipulated that his funeral take place at dusk.

Among the few possessions he left to his heirs was a set of Encyclopedia

Britannica in storage at the Lindbergh Palace Hotel under the names Ari and Uzi

Tenenbaum.

No one spoke at the funeral, and Father Peterson's leg had not yet mended.

But it was agreed among them that Royal would have found the event to be most

satisfactory.

We shall walk again on a longer

lane down the avenue

just like we used to.

You're free.

Just like we used to