Original subtitles

Are either of you on dating apps? And if so, what does your profile say?

Mine says, this is my first rodeo.

I don't have any dating apps because last time I was on one, I got catfished

pretty bad, so.

Blind Date from Balessa Plus.

Unscripted moments, sex the way they want it, and performers as their most

real selves.

Hey guys, welcome to Balessa Blind Date. You guys can now talk.

Oh, yay.

Hello. Oh, God.

Has anybody ever set you guys up on a blind date before?

No.

First time. Do you trust that I set you up with someone good?

Fuck!

I feel the same way.

Wow, I would never do either of you wrong.

Oh, okay.

Anything that you want your partner to know about you sexually, of things that

you like sexually?

I don't know.

I mean, this is so hard.

What would you normally say?

Neck kissing, eye contact, I kind of.

Wow, you sound thrilled to be here.

I'm nervous.

What about you?

I kind of like the same stuff.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I'm kissing some necks. Wow.

Okay, go ahead and ask your question.

Are either of you on dating apps? And if so, what does your profile say?

Mine says, this is my first rodeo.

I don't have any dating apps because last time I was on one, I got catfished

pretty bad.

What?

Yeah, tell us about that.

How did they fool you?

They just didn't show up as they appeared in their pictures. It's

probably like that.

Yikes. Can you expand now?

Photoshop's a hell of a thing.

Photoshop's a hell of a tool.

Wow.

Yeah, so that was the last time I did it. I was like, I can't do this anymore.

It's bad.

What did you do when you showed up and they didn't look like their picture? Did

you leave immediately or did you go through with the date?

Well, after a couple of tequilas.

You went through with it.

Okay, I feel a little less nervous.

What would you have done, person one, if you showed up to a date and they didn't

look like they presented online?

Well, probably same thing. Just get super drunk and then see where that

goes. Because sometimes uggos have good personalities.

Uggos? Yeah.

Just checking. So for the record, catfishing does work.

as a good strategy for people out there yeah it's a good way to get in the door

so sean tells me that you guys both travel in circles with some famous

people is that true oh i guess you don't have to say who they are can you

maybe explain like how it is that you found yourself in these circles or will

that give it away i feel like just uh with work and

networking and then just met people through other people but i feel like i

don't know i can't speak for him but i'm pretty like well behaved around famous

people like i'm not making a big deal no okay i guess maybe not so much him

well i might have brought some to a porn set a couple times and they told their

friends and word got her out is that really true yeah yeah that's kind of how

like I got to know a lot of them as inviting them to porn sites.

Oh, my God.

They're like, oh, I want to check that out.

Is this a red flag for you?

Yeah.

I'd say a red flag, no, because I brought people today.

Yeah, there are people here. You're not going to see them yet, but there are

going to be some observers today.

You should have told me I could have brought some observers, too.

Knowing you, I think you'll be happy with the observers that are here. Ah.

Yes.

These are beautiful observers.

These observers rhyme with luffers?

No, they do not.

Anything that you guys want to ask each other aside from who it is? I feel like

I already know who it is. Oh, okay. Okay, hold on.

So I'm going to ask you, you do not.

Confirm or deny. Just say nothing. Okay.

Why do you think you know who it is?

Just the energy I'm feeling and the answers he's been giving.

Okay. Now, will you be offended if she's wrong?

No. Okay. Who do you think it is?

Damon Dice. Okay. And you think it's just because of the energy of this

person? Or like his answers from... That's interesting.

Okay. What about you? Do you have any... I'm getting a Lumi Ray energy.

Really? Why?

I don't know. Just the giggle kind of sounds like... Does it sound like her?

I heard a giggle is kind of like... And hanging out with certain famous people,

so... Well, do you want to see if you're right or wrong?

Yeah. Will you be happy if it's that person? Yeah.

Well, what if it's not? Will you be disappointed?

I'll still fuck them.

We both obviously will fuck ugly people.

Get a point.

Okay, wait.

Don't take them off yet because I don't want you to hear each other's voice

because I cannot confirm or deny if you guys are right or wrong. Okay. So if you

hear the person's voice, I just don't want you to know who it is. Okay. So

take them off. Do not speak at this point.

No more talking.

Okay.

All right. You can step down if you need to.

Okay.

And slowly step forward and meet your blind date.

Oh, yeah. What's up, friends?

Enjoy yourselves.

Everyone good, huh? Yeah, I was like, honestly, once he said famous people, I

was like, well... Really?

Kind of. I didn't say it. She said it.

think i would think that like there's so many people well you say like i kind of

i saw someone talking i was like who would sean know that hangs about famous

people we almost saw each other yesterday are you serious yeah have you

worked one-on-one oh yeah i just missed you yeah yeah yeah yeah we did a photo

shoot for for this company same same company

Not for companies, though. Yeah, we did one. It was, yeah. Yeah.

Hi, guys.

Hi. How are you? Yeah.

Yeah. All right.

Did we just go right into it?

There's a lot of cameras on us. Yeah, no, I'm okay. I get camera shy.

Oh, no. This creepy guy with the camera right here. I don't know.

This guy's cool, but this one's giving me weird vibes.

I would

have felt like an idiot if I was like, if

I guessed wrong, I was like, hmm.

Well, nope.

Take your shoes off.

Wow, all the water and lube.

Oh, nice.

Nice.

I like it.

I like my cat socks. Yes. It is.

It's been a while. Mm-hmm. I have.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Come on.

Take a pillow. Take a pillow. Take a pillow.

Have you ever done a blind date before? No.

Shit doesn't just blindfolded.

Good. Very good.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, you got my pussy.

Get my eyes all watery.

Wow.

This is happening.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Shit.

I don't want to miss that.

I don't want to miss that tight little pussy.

Look at gripping your cock.

Oh, fuck.

You're a little mess aren't you?

Always. You're a little mess aren't you?

Oh, shh, shh.

I can't see a thing.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah.

Oh, fuck.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah.

Yeah, it's just like that. Just like that.

Yeah. Yeah, it's just like that. Fuck.

Oh my god.

Fuck. Oh,

fuck.

Don't get it.

Oh shit.

Oh, my God. Just like... Oh,

shit.

Oh, fuck.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Oh, shit.

Oh,

fuck.

Oh, my God.

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck.

You can't do a squirrel over your face if you do that.

Fucking... Oh, my God.

Oh, fuck.

I didn't get as bad as the camera guy did.

Come suck your skin.

Yeah.

Look at that.

It's okay.

It's okay.

Uh-huh.

Yeah.

You're important.

Oh, yeah.

This is gonna make you cry

You can choke me.

Rehydrate. Uh-huh.

Oh, man.

Oh my god. Oh my god.

Getting me back.

Oh, it's hot in here. Yeah.

Cope.

Holy shit.

I want you to fucking go over there.

oh my god oh

my

god

Check. So fucking good.

Yeah, it's so good.

You're just fucking making me dehydrated.

That's all you're trying to do. You selfish.

Oh my god.

Mhm. Mhm.

Mhm.

Oh, my God.

yes yes yes yes yes

yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes yes

yes yes yes yes

Time we actually Might have been some tequila involved in that

one The first time we met was at a rooftop bar Well

thank you guys for trusting us Yeah, I trust you

I've never done you wrong

I mean, if you can organize good orgies, I trust you for this.

Great choice.

Yes, thank you.