Original subtitles

NARRATOR: In every large city in America, there's a Bureau of Missing Persons...

...where thousands of panic-stricken people seek help to find their loved ones.

Sympathetic clerks record the data of a heartbroken mother and father...

...seeking news of a missing son.

This information is sent to all the police departments throughout the country.

No stone is left unturned in the search for clues...

...that might shed some light on each case.

These efforts to pierce the curtain of oblivion sometimes fail...

...and then, reluctantly, another name is added...

...to the inglorious roster of missing persons.

Sometimes a husband or a wife disappears deliberately because of fear.

Fear of reality, fear of persecution or fear of shame.

Often, because of helpless demoralization, a person will try desperately...

...to escape the binding ties of convention...

...to be discovered eventually in the prison files.

These tragedies strike someplace in these United States...

...each second of every minute in every hour of every day in the year...

...leaving horrible wounds in the hearts of loved ones...

...wounds that only heal with time, courage and unwavering faith.

Too often, words fail to describe the untold horrors...

...that clutch at the anguished hearts of those left behind...

...those who discover their loved ones have been found dead, murdered.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

Hmm? Hmm? Hmm?

"Torso Victim Unidenti--" Hey, Jimmy.

What is a torso victim?

Oh, one that's lost its head, arms and legs.

Hmm. I'm sorry I even mentioned it.

I hope when I get to San Francisco...

...those torso murders won't be multitudinous.

Well, folks, looks like we'll make Emigrant Gap...

...before this thing gives up on us.

I hope they've got a good mechanic there.

-I knew it! Thirteen of us. -Uh-oh.

Thirteen of us? That settles it. Now somebody's got to die.

Old-time superstition, Birmingham.

Numbers cannot control life expectancy.

Certainly not. Thirteen's my lucky number.

This is it. You can all wait in the bus station...

...while I get a mechanic to fix this thing. MAN 1: Oh.

[COSGROVE GRUNTS]

I got all the balance. Ha, ha.

My foot's gone to sleep.

May offer assistance through storm?

Oh, thank you very much. That's kind of you.

JEFF: Of all the rotten luck...

Last time I'll ever take a bus to go anywhere.

DENBY: You said it.

Well, here you are, folks.

That ought to keep you warm while I dig up the mechanic.

PRONNET: I want to get to San Francisco. MAN: Me too.

Look, bud, I don't like sloshing around in this rain any more than you do.

I ought to report that guy.

If I get sick, I'll sue the company.

You ever try to get any money from a corporation?

Lots of times. You see, I'm a lawyer.

Oh, then you better give me one of your cards just in case.

[BIRMINGHAM SNEEZES]

-You'd better get one too, Birmingham. -Whew.

Hey, wait a minute. I've been robbed. My wallet's gone.

BIRMINGHAM: Mm-mm. -Huh. That's funny. Mine's gone too.

Holy smoke. I've lost my watch.

Uh-oh, that's that old number 13 again.

[WOMEN SCREAM]

-Mr. Chan! -Pop!

WOMAN: Do something, somebody! He's been shot!

Now, listen, everybody.

I'm going outside and have a look around.

I don't want anyone to leave until I come back.

Why don't you do something? You said you were a doctor.

I'm a veterinarian.

Even a horse doctor ought to know how to take a man's pulse.

Pulse is still beating.

Momentarily I think United States lose one Chinese detective.

But now...

...| discover I'm living on borrowed time.

You all right, Pop? The bullet didn't hit you?

Bullet intended as one-way journey to join honorable ancestors.

But birthday watch, given by number two son...

...alter trip.

No one out there that I could see anywhere.

Chan, I thought you were shot.

Same thought entertained by person with murder intent...

...but birthday watch spoil plan.

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Hello. You mind if I come in out of the rain?

I'm frozen stiff.

Hot stove make all akin on a night like this. Help yourself.

I was hitchhiking my way to San Francisco and got caught in the storm.

Rough night to be hitchhiking.

How long you been snooping around outside?

I wasn't snooping around. I saw the light and came right in.

You got any identification?

Why, of course I have.

JEFF: You're packing a gun, aren't you?

Say, what's the idea of this third degree?

Someone fired a shot into this station a few minutes ago.

TILFORD: Well, I didn't. -Now, don't get hostile, son.

You're under suspicion. I'm gonna frisk you.

-I wouldn't try it. -Don't let him bluff you. We'll back you up.

We sure will!

Stranger who seek refuge from storm...

...should not object to proving his good intentions.

Okay, I am carrying a gun.

I thought so.

Got a permit to carry this?

I'm a corporal in the United States Marine Corps.

Gun's fully loaded, hasn't been fired recently. Puts him in the clear.

What about the civvies?

Well, I got a 48-hour pass...

...and a blond waiting for me in the city.

Any dumbbell should've guessed that.

Is dumbbell supposed to know...

...how you obtained civilian clothes at Marine base?

Okay, folks. The bus is all fixed. If you'll climb onboard, we'll get started.

Hey, driver.

You got another passenger.

Okay, bud. Cost you 6 bucks.

One moment, please. I wish speak with you.

Surely.

[DOOR CLOSES]

I have been waiting favorable opportunity to give fellow traveler good advice.

Who, me?

Well, thanks, Mr. Chan.

Coming from a gentleman of your accomplishments, I prize it very highly.

You will return wallet which you lift from lawyer.

Also, gentleman who say he lose watch.

I'm most curious to know what you take from him.

-Did you see that too? -Mm.

Oh, I must be slipping.

Bullet from this not in birthday watch.

You will return same to rightful owner in same manner which you obtain it.

You--

You mean you're not gonna expose me? Are you gonna give me a break?

I let you go this time, but see it does not happen again.

Goods returned, crime prevented.

Thanks, Mr. Chan.

Maybe I can return the favor sometime, eh?

Well, always grateful for favors. We join others in bus.

Yeah, sure. Sure.

[COSGROVE GRUNTS THEN CHUCKLES]

-Oh, I'm so sorry. -You should be.

[COSGROVE GRUNTS]

MAN: Why don't you learn how to walk?

Well, it's isn't easy in a swaying bus.

Do you know, Mr. Chan, she had to sell her house...

...to get the money to go to San Francisco...

...and have a search made for her missing granddaughter?

Please, Kate. Don't bother Mr. Chan with my troubles.

Lending sympathetic ear to lady in distress is pleasure, not trouble.

Please continue, Miss Johnson.

How long has her granddaughter been missing?

Two weeks. And now we're afraid...

...that the torso victim might be Mary.

Perhaps I can allay your fears somewhat on that score.

Was your granddaughter a widow of wealthy man who dies suddenly?

She wasn't married.

Did her employment include handling large sums of money?

Oh, no. She worked for an escort bureau.

Then you may as well forget canyon victims.

Mutilation is usual pattern when motive is murder for profit.

ROGAN: San Francisco. Transcontinental bus terminal.

So long, folks. Better luck next time.

[ENGINE STARTS]

HOBART: Any of you see which way your driver went?

- Saw him get off inside the terminal. -Anything wrong? I came in from Salt Lake.

-Would you come to my office? I'd like to talk. -Very glad to. See you later, Mr. Chan.

Oh, excuse, please.

Would me most happy to drive you ladies to the hotel.

Thank you very much, Mr. Chan.

Sitting assistants will kindly take baggage.

We will visit Bureau of Missing Persons later.

This way, ladies.

Hey, Jimmy.

What does he mean about Bureau of Missing Persons?

-That's where you find things that are missing. -I'm missing my breakfast. Let's find that.

What you gonna do, give me all these things?

CLERK: I'm sorry, but there's nothing new on your missing brother.

Come back in the next few days.

Uh... Just a minute. Uh, Joe, will you come here and help me?

-Any luck? -Nope. Much obliged.

Oh, pleased to see you again, Mr. Tilford.

TILFORD: Just shooting the breeze with a friend in the bureau.

I trust you make the most of your 48-hour pass.

Please, please.

My sitting assistants will take chairs...

...and again practice art of relaxation until I return.

Oh, gee, Pop. How can we help you when we don't know what you're looking for?

Your pop also in same boat.

I am looking for something.

When I find what, I return and tell my assistants.

Excuse, please.

Hey, Jimmy. How can we look for something if we don't know what we're looking for?

-Looking for what? -What's "what"?

That's what Pop's looking for, "what."

Well, what? What is "what"?

I don't know, what?

Don't you know what what "what" is?

-What's he looking for? -What? Oh, "what."

Ha, ha, is that what he's looking for?

-Hello, chief. -Charlie.

It's sure good to see you again.

As nurse say to father of newborn twins:

"Pleasure is double."

[ALL CHUCKLE]

Sit down.

I assume from your telegram you're interested in this headless torso.

Ah.

Sure be glad for your help on that one.

My help? Excuse, please.

You have shoestring on wrong foot.

I come for your help.

Ha, ha. Kidding aside, so far it's got us baffled.

Over a thousand people have viewed the body and no one's been able to identify her.

Victim mutilated in same fashion...

...as case known as New Orleans Trunk Murder...

...where widow disappear...

...after collecting life insurance of husband who dies suddenly on honeymoon.

What's the connection between that and the Torso Murder of Emigrant Gap?

Insurance association interested...

...in another rich man who dies suddenly on honeymoon.

Widow who collect insurance also missing.

This time from San Francisco.

What's her name, Charlie?

Grace Gortner, age 30.

Wife of...

...Homer B. Pendleton, last known address, Avon Apartments.

I'll show you what we've got on Grace Pendleton.

GEORGE [OVER PHONE]: Yes, captain?

Get me the Jane Doe files, Volume G.O.

-Uh, one moment, please. -Held it a minute, George.

I'm also interested in young lady named Mary Conover...

...missing granddaughter of venerable old lady.

Uh, this one, labor of the heart.

ALLEN: Did you get that, George? MAN: Yes, sir.

CHAN: Excuse, please.

May examine portrait of United States Marine?

-Certainly. -Thank you.

ALLEN: Much obliged, George.

Why, the Conover girl's photo is gone!

What?

Would suggest you conduct diligent search...

...for Corporal Joe Thompson...

...who goes under alias of Jack Tilford.

ALLEN: What's the idea, Charlie?

Missing corporal leaving here just as I arrive.

Was also present with me on bus which bring me here this morning.

You recall where he got on the bus?

He joined bus party last night 100 miles north of here at place called Emigrant Gap.

That's not far from the canyon where the girl's torso was found.

So...

...perhaps murderer revisit scene of crime.

Perhaps torso that of Mary Conover.

Pendleton file can wait. I will visit city morgue at once.

-I'll go with you, Charlie. -Thank you.

-See you later, chief. LANNIGAN: Right, Charlie.

Hey, there go your father now.

We'd better follow him. You never can tell. He might need our help.

Yeah, now you're cooking on all burners.

Hey, maybe Pop found out what he's looking for.

That's good. Let's go home.

Oh, no. We gotta find out first. Come on.

"Got to find out.” You always rushing into something. Jimmy, why--?

-Come, on. -All right.

Gee, I wonder where Pop went. He came right down those stairs.

Don't ask me. I'm so worried, I can't take care of myself.

Let's try this office over here.

Oh, oh. Wait a minute. Whoa, whoa. No, that says "stay out."

Oh, no. It says "private.”

That's the same thing to me.

Let's try this door over here.

Okay.

Whoa.

Hey, this must be a dormitory. Look at all these cots.

Whew. Good gracious, it's cold.

I don't see how they can sleep in a cold place like this, heh.

This isn't a dormitory, it's the morgue.

Oh, well, if it's the morgue, it's a-- It's a what?

-The morgue. -Morgue?

-Yeah. -M-O-R-G?

-That's right. -Well, I'll be seeing you.

Uh, goodbye.

[MUTTERS]

Where's the key?

Who's got the key? You? Come on, give me the key.

Give me the key! Don't be dirty, Jimmy. Give me the key!

Mr. Chan! Mercy!

Let me out of here, Mr. Chan!

[BANGING ON DOOR]

BIRMINGHAM: Mr. Chan!

Better rescue Birmingham from vivid imagination.

Where are you going, Birmingham? That's not a door.

It will be in a minute.

JIMMY: Whoa. Wait a minute. Sit down.

There's not much to go on, is there?

Sometimes surgeon's scars speak louder than fingerprints.

I go now to visit venerable old lady...

...who await news of her missing granddaughter.

Uh, Birmingham, you will get yourself some lunch.

Then get my car and park it outside. I may have use for same very soon.

Yes, sir. I'll have the car right outside. Space permitting.

Mr. Chan.

Oh, Mr. Hay.

I've got a hot one for you. Our bus driver was a phony.

-Not even a company employee. -I am not surprised.

What became of original driver?

Someone slugged him in Salt Lake, took his uniform.

The company's asked me to look into it.

Oh, then rainstorm blow some good after all.

Excuse me, I'm very busy. I have appointment.

I shall be grateful for further information regarding phony bus driver.

Right.

Oh, Mr. Chan. I'm so glad to see you.

Thank you.

When you knocked on the door, I thought it was Miss Johnson.

She went down to the coffee shop about an hour ago to...

Tell me, have you found Mary?

Please, sit down.

I'm afraid you flatter humble Chinese detective.

Only wish I could measure up to part of your confidence in me.

But do not be disheartened, I may have good news. Tell me...

...did your granddaughter ever have appendectomy?

No, but she had measles once.

[CHAN CHUCKLES]

No, I mean, was she ever operated on for appendicitis?

-No, never. -Good.

Then torso found at Emigrant Gap was not Mary Conover.

-How do you know? - I have just come from city morgue.

The torso have operation scar several years old.

Oh, I'm so thankful.

-Now maybe I'll be able to sleep tonight. -Heh.

Confucius say, "Sleep only escape from yesterday."

I hope to see you again with very good news.

-Thank you, Mr. Chan. -Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Where are you going, Pop? What are we looking for?

At moment, I'm looking for pot of tea...

...and believe I'm about to find same.

Pop, you've got me going around in circles.

How can I help you if I don't know what you're doing?

When I need you, will let you know.

In meantime, business conversation at table very bad for digestion.

What will you have, gentlemen?

Uh, pot of tea, please.

Cream or lemon?

No, please.

-No cream? -No.

No lemon?

Just tea.

I think I'll have some chop suey.

Chop suey. I shudder to think what Confucius say to that.

Oh, it's good stuff, Pop. You ought to try it sometime.

Also, I'll have some ice cream and a cup of coffee.

Excuse, please. Number two son try his best to ruin his digestion.

Time has come when you work.

This is picture of missing person.

You ever see that girl before?

Nice-looking gal. But I've never seen her before.

Number two son require his eyes examined.

When waitress return, take good look.

Without thought of chop suey.

Will you have your coffee now or later?

With my ice cream, please.

Hey, you're right, Pop.

Excepting for the blond hair, she's the girl in the photograph.

Blond hair can be obtained from bottle...

-...or from wig maker. -What are you gonna do now?

Bring anxious grandmother here.

You remain. Keep sharp eye on girl.

Will there be anything else?

No, thank you.

Hiya, babe.

Thanks, babe.

Well, if it isn't our little Mary.

Mike.

So this is where you've been hiding out.

You're smarter than I thought you were, picking a spot as obvious as this.

Please, Mike, not so loud. I don't want to get fired.

So what?

You can always go back to work for the boss.

-Shouldn't have walked out on him, babe. -Please, Mike...

...don't tell him you saw me.

Well, I'm always ready to talk business...

...when there's a few bucks to be made.

Oh, I'll make it right for you. I've saved up $50.

Oh, please, Mike. Give me a break.

Okay, babe.

Supposing I drop over to your house tonight sometime.

Talk things over.

All right.

Anything you say.

Get me some of those breaded veal chops.

Hello. This is Mike.

Boss, I found the girl.

Right here at the Mayfair Coffee Shop. How do you like that?

She was scared to death when she saw me.

Sure, she knows too much.

Yeah. Yeah.

Hold it, boss. That dizzy dame's beating it.

I'm awfully sick, Myrtle. I'm going to a doctor.

She won't get away. I'll take care of her.

Come on, Birmingham. We gotta shadow that girl.

What girl?

Going down the street. See her?

My eyes ain't seeing so good this morning.

Oh, come on.

Mr. Chan told me to stay here so he can use his car when he comes.

-Oh, stop quibbling. -Who's quibbling?

You're quibbling. It's important. And it's Pop's orders.

Oh, if it's Mr. Chan's orders, I'll quit quibbling.

[BIRMINGHAM CHUCKLES]

You don't expect her to serve you if she's sick.

That's not the idea. She's sick because she knows I'm looking for her.

Oh, really?

Get the point? Chief wants to ask her a few questions.

Well, why didn't you say so?

I suppose you'll want her address.

There it is.

Mary McCoy--

Thanks, babe.

I'll borrow this for a couple hours.

You're the third person who's inquired about Mary McCoy.

There was an elderly lady, a Kate Johnson, who said she knew Mary's folks.

Then there was a detective who wanted to question her...

...but he walked off with my personnel book, so I can't give you her address.

Most peculiar situation.

Waitress gone, honorable number two son disappear.

Uh, you know any cause for waitress sudden illness?

No, but the detective seemed to think she was afraid he would arrest her.

CHAN: Hmm.

Well, many thanks for kind cooperation.

So sorry most promising clue turn out to be wild-goose-chase.

Next time, perhaps we have more success.

Oh, boy. Whew.

Come on, Birmingham. Shake a leg.

Who do you think I am, Man o' War? I ain't run this fast since I run into a hornet's nest.

Say, we'd better disguise ourselves.

So she won't know we're following her.

Yeah, change our personality, ha, ha.

That's what I've been wanting to do all the time, is change my personality, heh.

I bet ain't nobody gonna know us when we get in this.

Wait till I put these on. Ha, ha.

Ah. Now, you all right?

I'm all right. You all right?

Mm-hm, come on, let's go.

Well, the canary's in her cage, heh.

Now, Jimmy, what would Confusion say about this?

Not Confusion. You mean Confucius.

I mean Confusion. That's what we're in, ain't it?

Oh, of course not. I'll stay here and keep her cooped up.

You go back and get Pop.

What must I tell him?

Tell him we've located the apartment house where the coffee-shop waitress lives.

"We've located the apartment house where the coffee-shop waitress lives."

-That's right. Now hurry. -Okay.

Jimmy, you know what they call me? Lightning Brown. Ha, ha.

We've located the apartment where the coffee-shop waitress lives.

Tell him we've located the apartment where the coffee-shop waitress lives.

We've located the apartment where the coffee-shop waitress lives.

We've located the compartment-- Apartment...

...where the coffee-shop waitress lives.

Give me Mr. Chan's suite.

-Hello. -Hello?

Birmingham, why are you all disguised with glasses and false mustache?

Mr. Chan, you must be a mind reader.

How do you know I'm in disguise?

You are told to remain within call, yet you're not here when needed.

I'm sorry, Mr. Chan. You see, we was shadowing a girl, I mean, uh--

Yeah, go on.

You see, we located the compartment where the coffee shop is.

I mean, uh, the apartment where the coffee shop-- Heh.

Just tell you the truth, Mr. Chan...

...Jimmy's outside and she's at home. He's waiting for you.

Sitting assistants deserve pat on back.

All right, Birmingham, you will be pleased to drive me to apartment house...

...where coffee-shop waitress lives.

Yes, sir. The car will be ready just as soon as you get down here.

Heh. Howdy do.

Mr. Chan, how did you get down here so fast?

Birmingham, disguise has served its purpose.

Please, you will put same in pocket.

Hmm. Sure is a fast man.

I can't understand it.

Jimmy was standing right in front of this apartment when I made my departure.

Number two son like flea on dog...

...always must have fine-toothed comb to find same.

Mr. Chan, do you know where we're going?

Name on mailbox say young lady you follow live on third floor, Apartment 36.

-Oh, 36. -Yeah.

Hmm.

Miss McCoy?

Miss McCoy?

Ain't nobody here, Mr. Chan.

-We search apartment. -Yes, sir.

Heh. You know, Mr. Chan, something always happens to me.

The last time that I was down by the place...

...and while I was down there

Mr. Chan! Good gracious, Mr. Chan!

Every time I open a door, a dead body drops out.

I ain't gonna never open no door no more.

-Birmingham. -Yes, sir, Mr. Chan, I'm coming.

-It's Jimmy. Come here. -Is he still alive?

Well, he have very thick skull.

Blow only stun and make swelling. Here, make wet.

Yes, sir.

-Crazy. -What was he doing in that closet?

Who let him in that closet?

Who slugged him?

-Quick, quick. -Yes, sir.

Birmingham.

Pop.

What am I doing on the floor?

That is question for you to answer.

Where am I?

I've never seen this place before.

Don't you remember? We was following the canary and she come up into this apartment.

Yeah, that's right.

After I sent you to get Pop, I got tired of waiting, so I---

Ah, so you allow curiosity to get better of reason.

I was only trying to help you, Pop. Besides, I didn't think it would do any harm.

Only harm done is to your head by sticking neck out too far. Go on.

Well, I saw the name Mary McCoy on one of the mailboxes...

-...so I came upstairs and rang the doorbell. -Who answer bell?

Well, a man's voice said "come in," so I just...

So you walk in path of descending blackjack. Uh-huh.

Well, I guess so. That's all I can remember.

Well, you're all right now. Come, we search apartment.

-Birmingham. BIRMINGHAM: Yes, sir.

Stick them up.

Oh, Mr. Chan, am I glad to see you.

Mr. Hay, also very glad to see you.

What you do here?

I've been trailing that phony bus driver.

I thought he looked familiar. I couldn't place him till I saw his picture in the police files.

You trailed phony bus driver here?

Yes, but lost him when he came in. I climbed up the fire escape, came through the window.

As I did, I thought I heard some noises in this room. Then I was going to...

Mr. Chan.

It's the lady who was on the bus with us.

She's dead.

Miss Johnson evidently victim of murderer.

Why would anyone wanna kill a nice lady like her?

Believe murderer make mistake in dark.

Knife evidently intended for young lady who live here.

Missing granddaughter of Mrs. Conover.

Oh, so that's how it is?

Quick. You will call police headquarters.

Presence of phony bus driver in this house not mere coincidence.

Believe it's some way connected with disappearance of Mary Conover.

All right, right away.

You get headquarters?

Yes, Homicide will be right over. I'll stick around, see what police make of it.

Good. If you need me tonight, will be at Mayfair hotel.

My assistants and self will make second visit to Bureau of Missing Persons.

Time now of utmost importance.

You will drive as rapidly as possible to Hall of Justice.

Yes, sir, Mr. Chan. Speed Brown, that's what they call me.

[ENGINE SPUTTERING]

What is the matter with this motor? It never acted like this before.

Come on, motor, come on now, don't act like a balking mule.

Come on, shake up on one of your pistons. Get us out of here.

-Have you choked it? -Yeah. I didn't choke it...

...but somebody else choked it to death.

Mm. Come on now, motor, don't be mean to me.

Come on, give me some cooperation.

You keep stepping on the starter, you'll run the battery down.

And if I stop, then what will happen? Mm. I wonder what Confusion would say about this.

-Confusion say, "I take taxi." JIMMY: Want me to go with you, Pop?

No, I prefer peaceful association of own thoughts.

Sitting assistants sit here and try to get car started.

Here are the full files on the Pendleton girl.

Program say Grace Gortner one time featured chorus girl with Bon Ton burlesque company.

Grace one time almost break mother's heart.

She ran away with Bon Ton burlesque company.

She was stuck on manager.

-Hmm. -Did you find something, Charlie?

Perhaps voice from dim past may lift curtain to oblivion.

Would like you to send out inquiry concerning Craig Winfield...

...former manager of Bon Ton burlesque company.

Also would like photograph of same.

Twelve years is a long span Charlie, but we'll certainly try to do it.

[PHONE RINGS]

Allen speaking. Jenkins. What's that?

You have? Bring him up here.

We just picked up your missing Marine corporal.

Excellent. Will be most pleased to hear his story.

Hi, Mr. Chan.

I believe I am addressing Mr. Joe Jack Thompson Tilford.

-Well, I -Mr. Thompson...

...deception is bad game for amateurs.

You're telling me. Look where I landed.

Jail is only small part of trouble ahead for breaking military regulations.

I had to do it, believe me. The worry was driving me crazy. |--

I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep.

I presume you refer to state of mind caused by charming young lady known...

...as Mary Conover?

How did you know it was her?

I'm also looking for Mary Conover.

I wondered why her photograph was taken from missing-persons book...

...at same time you visit bureau.

I also wonder what Marine with 48-hour pass for San Francisco area...

...was doing last night 100 miles north of here in lonely canyon...

...where body of mutilated woman found.

I thought it was Mary they'd found. That's why I overstayed my leave.

Morbid curiosity sometimes draw murderer back to scene of crime.

No, no. Do you think I'd kill the girl I loved?

Why, I was trying to get her to marry me.

She would not say yes?

No. I was certain she would the next time we had our date, but she wrote me...

...that our friendship had been a mistake and that I'd better try and forget her.

-What'd you do about that? -I came to San Francisco as soon as I could...

...but she'd quit her job at the escort bureau and moved without leaving an address.

Think, please.

What first give you idea torso was Mary Conover?

Just a hunch, I guess.

The last few times we were out together, she seemed frightened about something.

She didn't say what she was afraid of?

No, she said I was imagining things...

...but I knew differently.

Was anyone at escort bureau annoying her?

Yes, she mentioned a guy there that was always making wisecracks at her...

...but she said he never made any passes.

Can you recall name of wisecrack comedian?

Yes, I believe she said his name was Roberts. Mike Roberts.

Mike Roberts.

Mike Rogan, Mickey Rogers, Marty Roman, Mike Roberts.

Believe all four men have same face.

Yeah, all signs seem to point toward the Bay City Escort Bureau.

I expect to visit same soon but not to engage social companion.

Many thanks for willing cooperation.

And now in return, I will banish some of the worry from your mind.

-Mary Conovor is still alive. THOMPSON: Alive?

I expect you will see her soon.

THOMPSON: You mean I can see her? ALLEN: Not only that...

...we'll speak a good word to your commanding officer.

Thank you, Mr. Chan. You can lock me up any time. It'll be a pleasure.

Mr. Aldrich is waiting for you in the supper room of the Biltmore Plaza Hotel.

-All right, thanks, Joan. -Have a nice time.

-Good evening. -Good evening.

Excuse, please, I'm not here to engage social companionship.

Would like to make few inquiries regarding former employee, Miss Mary Conover.

I'm sorry, but we don't give out information about our employees.

Also should be quite sorry if I am forced to escort you to police headquarters...

-...to make inquiries. -What would you like to know?

CHAN: Why did Mary Conover quit job in escort bureau?

I haven't the faintest idea.

Would like to speak to manager of bureau.

I'm sorry, but Mr. Kerney is in New York.

Oh.

If Mr. Micky Rogers here will speak to him instead...

Oh, you must mean Mike Roberts. Well, he only drops in occasionally to see Mr. Kerney.

Oh, yes. You perhaps could give me Mr. Roberts' telephone number and address.

No. I'm sorry.

Also very sorry. Excuse, please.

-Good night. -Good night.

Did you find out anything, Pop?

Not enough to fill ear of gnat.

Oh, gee, that's too bad. Where do we go from here?

To Mayfair hotel if you can keep motor running.

Ain't no chance for it to stop this time. Ain't no motor in the world...

...gonna make a fool of me twice in the same day. I've seen to that.

-I was still keeping it running. -Let's go. Let's go.

Yes, sir.

[ENGINE STOPS]

Well, I'll be doggoned. Now what's the matter?

JIMMY: We're out of gas, that's what. -It can't be.

What Confucius say to this too terrible even for Charlie Chan to repeat.

Sitting assistants may still remain sitting. Goodbye.

There was a gentleman inquiring for you a few moments ago.

Ah, that's him over there reading the newspaper.

Oh, thank you.

Why, Mr. Hay, good evening.

-You were looking for me? -Yes.

I got a tip on where Mike Rogan's hiding out. It's in Chinatown.

-Oh, you have informed police? -Yes, Captain Allen's waiting for us.

Oh, excellent. I will accompany you at once. Come, let's go.

[ENGINE STOPS]

-Hi, buddy. -Hello.

Hello, Mr. Chan, how are you? Glad to see you.

Mr. Cosgrove, pleasure is mutual.

-Thanks. -This way, gentlemen.

Hey Jimmy, that's it. They're in there eating chop suey. Come on, let's eat.

We arrive too late. Someone here first.

Sure looks like it.

Body's still warm.

Somebody put a slug in him.

Yeah, at close range too. Must have been somebody he trusted.

Afraid he talk too much if arrested.

That settles one point. He's the guy that knifed Miss Johnson.

Please, must not jump to conclusions.

-Many criminals carry knife. -You're right, Charlie.

And this might have been planted after Rogan was murdered.

JEFF: That clinches it.

Must've gone to Randolph Apartments to kill the Conover girl and made a mistake.

Perhaps you're right. I think, captain, we best search apartment.

-Gee, I wonder where they went. -I don't know. The car's still here.

-Hey, maybe they went in there. -Come on, let's see.

Oh, curio shop.

Yeah, I'm curious enough now, but come on, let's go see.

Ha, ha. Lookie here, Jimmy. Ha, ha. Now, ain't this something? Ain't it pretty?

I'll bet she could do a good job scratching her back.

[JIMMY AND BIRMINGHAM LAUGH]

JIMMY: While eating and playing the piano at the same time.

Yeah. Ha, ha.

Say, Pop's liable to get away from us.

-Look around and see if we can find him. -Okay.

Good evening. Mm!

Uh, hello, uh, have you seen Mr. Chan?

No? Thank you.

Have you seen Mr. Chan?

Well, he just said no, he didn't see him.

Did you?

Well, now, wait a minute. All of y'all can't--

[CHUCKLES]

I thought it was a fake. Ain't that something?

Hmm. Sure look like you're real.

I'd hate to meet with you in the dark anywhere. I'd tear all of you apart.

Where's Mr. Chan? He ought to be around here somewhere.

Whew. I sure is tired. I know I been sitting here waiting all--

Unh! Good gracious, somebody done give me a hot foot.

Mm. Sabotage.

[BIRMINGHAM SCREAMS]

Good gracious.

[YELPS]

Ow!

Whew.

Mm! Good gracious, look.

Mm! Look at that knot growing on my head.

What a mess I done made out of myself in here.

Mm!

Mm-mm!

Now it's gone way down here. Oh, my goodness.

Mr. Chan.

[WHIMPERS]

My arms are drawed up on me.

Mr. Chan.

Mr. Chan?

-Oh! Man, get away from me. -Birmingham!

-Get away from me! -What's the matter? It's Jimmy! Birmingham!

Jimmy, is that you? Hey, look, am I a midget?

Am I a little giant? There's something the matter with me.

-Everything's happening in here. -What are you--?

Are you gentlemen interested in buying any curios?

I'm curious enough to make my departure.

Would you tell me where the door is, please?

So sorry, the door is over there.

So sorry, thank you. Come on, Jimmy, let's get out of here.

[BIRMINGHAM PANTING]

Hey, look, the police car's gone. Oh, gee, we've missed Pop.

-I wonder where they went. - I don't know. I ain't even sure of myself now.

Hey, Jimmy, wait for me!

JENKINS [OVER RADIO]: Calling B.M.P. Car 108.

Jenkins to Captain Allen. Jenkins to Captain Allen.

Allen answering Jenkins. Allen answering Jenkins. Come in, Jenkins.

JENKINS: We've got the Conover girl. Want her locked up?

Take her to my office. Bring Corporal Thompson.

-Chan and I are on the way. JENKINS: Yes, captain.

How do you like that, Charlie?

Pieces of jigsaw puzzle gradually begin to fit together.

Why are you holding me here? What have I done?

You're not under arrest, Miss Conover. We're only trying to protect you.

-Mary. MARY: Oh, Joe.

-Oh. -Why'd you run away from me?

I was afraid. They found out some way that your father was wealthy...

...and Mike Roberts said I'd be a sucker if I didn't marry you.

Well, I'm sorry you didn't take their advice. You do love me, don't you?

You know I do. That's why I ran away.

But |-- I don't understand.

Mike Roberts said it would be very easy for me to become a wealthy widow...

...If I got you to take out a lot of insurance.

You no longer need be afraid of Mike Roberts, Miss Conover.

His criminal career ended by bullet tonight.

At moment, we are interested in finding head of escort bureau.

A Mr. Kerney.

-You can assist us perhaps? -Well, I'd like to...

...but I've never seen the man in my whole life. CHAN: No?

You mean you're afraid of him if you've never seen him?

You didn't have to see him to feel his presence. Especially when Mike Roberts was around.

Do you suppose Kerney was just another alias of Roberts'?

No. One who is head of murder-for-profit scheme much shrewder person.

Miss Conover, why when Mike Roberts suggest you become wealthy widow...

...you not presume he was joking?

Because it actually happened to another girl working for the bureau.

So her husband die suddenly on honeymoon?

Why, yes.

Was her name Grace Gortner Pendleton?

MARY: Yes, but I didn't know she was missing.

Many persons missing every day, Miss Conover.

Some are found, like you.

Others not so fortunate, like Grace Gortner Pendleton.

As Mr. Kerney still unknown...

...| think perhaps we best keep young lovers under surveillance.

-Right. -Well, you're not gonna put us in jail?

No, we think it best perhaps to place you in custody of paternal grandmother...

...who wait most anxiously to see you.

Grandmother? You mean she's here in San Francisco?

Your grandmother is here in Missing Persons Bureau.

-Mary. Oh, my dear, my dear. -Grandma.

Oh, I'm sorry I caused you so much worry and trouble.

Oh, that's all right dear. Nothing matters now that I've got you back.

-Nothing to worry about anymore. MARY: Nothing, dear.

Excuse, please. I regret necessity to inform you...

...that future happiness depends upon capture of elusive Mr. Kerney.

What can we do about that?

Believe if you will consent to bait trap, we may catch same.

I'll be very glad to do anything I can to help.

Thank you. My first thought, of course, was police...

...but ancient proverb say, "Never bait trap with wolf to catch wolf."

Tomorrow evening at 9? Yes, goodbye.

Mary. Don't tell me it's really you. Where have you been keeping yourself?

It's a long story, Joan. I found out one thing, though:

You can't save money working in a coffee shop.

A coffee shop? Why did you quit here for that?

That Marine corporal you kept dating me with got a bit too amorous to suit me.

Like to work for the bureau again?

-If you'll let me. -I'd love to.

-You're Mary Conover, aren't you? -Yes, why?

I'm taking you to the Bureau of Missing Persons. They're looking for you.

Don't get so fresh. They know where to find me.

Will you come peacefully, or do you want me to call the cops?

Why argue? Go along with the dope.

It'll only be a few minutes, and I'll cook up something nice for you while you're gone.

All right, stupid.

[MARY CHUCKLES]

What are you laughing at?

You'll find out, Mr. Wiseguy.

[SIRENS WAILING]

-What's the big idea? -That's what we'd like to know.

Where were you taking this young lady?

To the Bureau of Missing Persons.

This is Mary Conover, the girl Charlie Chan's been searching for.

Was he taking you where he said, miss?

Yes, he wouldn't listen when I tried to tell him he was all wrong.

I'm awfully sorry, Miss Conover. I'd like to apologize to the department too.

I guess I'm the chump of the year.

BIRMINGHAM: You just spoiled a trap to catch the killer.

Mm. Why don't I keep my big mouth shut?

Awfully sorry, captain.

I didn't mean to butt into police business. I was trying to help Charlie Chan.

If you'll excuse it, I'll take Miss Conover back to the escort bureau.

All right, as you were, men. We'll start all over again.

MAN [OVER RADIO]: Jeff Hay claimed he was taking girl to Bureau of Missing Persons...

...to help his friend Charlie Chan.

Miss Conover verified his claim, so he was released.

Will proceed with mission. That is all.

That private detective sure gets around, doesn't he?

Like influenza epidemic, he cover wide territory...

-...but accomplish very little good. -Heh.

[MACHINE WHIRRING]

What is whirring noise?

The wire photo receiver. Somebody's sending a photograph or document.

-May look at same? -Certainly.

I'll have this developed, Charlie.

-It'll only take a couple of minutes. -Okay.

-Hmm. Back so soon. -Yes, and is my face red.

I told you you were a big dope, but you wouldn't listen.

Don't rub it in. How was I to know I was walking into a police trap?

Really?

I just came to tell you Miss Conover is okay and I'm very sorry for butting in.

Forget it.

I have a nice engagement for you at the Biltmore Plaza...

...and I'm going to see that you arrive there safely. Come on.

I'll tell you all about it while I'm getting my coat.

All right, my dear, take off your coat and dress.

-What? -You heard me, start peeling.

You heard what she said. Do as you're told, and hurry up about it.

Charlie, I've got a surprise for you. Craig Winfield is Jeff Hay.

Jeff Hay. Then police have released real murderer.

Life of Mary Conover in great danger unless Hay apprehended at once.

-You're right. We haven't a moment to lose. MAN [OVER RADIO]: Yes, captain?

Lannigan speaking.

Broadcast a pickup order for Jeff Hay, private detective, suspected of murder.

-This masquerade won't give you much time. -Let me worry about that. Get going.

All right, slip this on.

-When she gets to the corner, follow her. -Yes, sir.

Put your hands behind your back. Turn around.

-That isn't Mary. I'm sure it isn't. -How do you know?

Don't you remember? She didn't have a scarf around her head.

That's right. Pull over to the curbing, Birmingham.

Yes, sir.

What's the hurry, Mary?

Joan Mercer, what are you doing in Mary's clothes?

LIEUTENANT: We pulled a boner, captain, by releasing Jeff Hay.

He's wanted for murder.

So that's the reason for the masquerade. A ruse to keep us away from Jeff Hay.

[JOAN SCOFFS]

We'll go in your car, lieutenant.

MAN 1 [OVER RADIO]: Car 44 reporting. No sign of fugitive red convertible.

Failure to catch suspect prove suspect have illegal radio in car...

...and is altering course accordingly.

MAN 2 [OVER RADIO]: Car 31 reporting. Suspect's car nowhere in mission district.

Sit back here and keep quiet.

MAN 3 [OVER RADIO]: No sign of convertible in North Beach District.

Surely one of our cars will pick him up before he can harm her.

I recall story of farmhand who find cow he had lost...

...by trying to figure out where he would go if he were cow.

Will use farmhand psychology and try and catch suspect.

Go ahead, Charlie. Take my car. It's out in front. And good luck.

Thank you.

MAN 1 [OVER RADIO]: Car 37 to Car 31. Have lost trail of red convertible.

Have you seen it?

MAN 2 [OVER RADIO]: Car 31 to Car 37.

Just covered 10 square blocks in Nob Hill district.

No sign of suspect's car.

Hiya, pal. Ha-ha-ha.

Get away from me, you drunk.

Oh, I'm your pal from the bus, Cosgrove.

[MARY SCREAMS]

[SIREN WAILING]

You had the right hunch, Mr. Chan. There's the suspect's car.

You will please call assistance.

-Cornered rat usually full of fight. -Yes, sir.

[SCREAMS]

[DOORKNOB CLICKS]

[MARY SCREAMS]

Oh, Mr. Chan.

Why, if it isn't my old sidekick Charlie Chan. Come in, Charlie, and shut the door.

Happy to know another criminal career coming to end.

Aren't you being a bit premature? You haven't been taken me yet.

Perfect crime always arouse my interest and admiration.

The Grace Pendleton torso. That was your work, was it not?

Just between you and me, yes. Neat bit of work, wasn't it?

But you can't pin that on me. You can't even prove she's dead.

Very true, very true.

But you make one serious mistake when you kill Miss Johnson in Mary Conover's apartment.

That was a mistake. You see, I thought it was Mary.

-But you can't prove I did that, either. -Contradiction, please.

Can prove you also kill your companion in crime, Mike Rogan.

-You're a very smart person, Charlie. -Go get him, Charlie.

There's no more bullets in his gat. I lifted them.

[SIREN WAILING]

JIMMY: Come on, Birmingham.

BIRMINGHAM: I'm allergic to bullets. I'll stay here.

JIMMY: Come on. BIRMINGHAM: Okay.

Take him, boys.

MARY: Joe. THOMPSON: Mary.

-Nice work, Charlie. -Thanks.

You all right, Cosgrove?

COSGROVE: I'm okay, Charlie. Ha, ha.

I'm not gonna die from that rat's bullets. He couldn't hit the side of a barn.

You will please see my undercover agent have very best medical attention.

He save my life.

Certainly. He'll be treated like one of the boys.

Most happy to end criminal career of Mr. Craig Winfield, alias Jeff Hay.

Still, pretty smart man, huh?

That reminds me, Mr. Chan, of what Confusion says.

Confusion says that you can fool most of the people some of the time...

...and some of the people most of the time, but you can't fool all the people all the time.

No Birmingham, no.

Not Confusion.

Confucius say that.

Oh, no, Pop, you're both wrong. It wasn't Confucius, it was Abraham Lincoln.

Abraham Lincoln was disciple of Confucius.

Is that so? I didn't even know that they knew each other. Did you, Jimmy?

-No, I didn't, did you? -No.

[ALL LAUGHING]

[English - US - SDH]