Original subtitles

Having a hard time waking up in the morning?

Try our new Dethklok Norwegian blackened blood coffee.

Served in special collector's skull.

Only $14.

Dude, let me borrow 14 [bleep]ing bucks

so l can get a coffee.

No way, wanker.

My mom only gave me 60 bucks.

Dude, you can use my parents' Duncan Hills card.

Dude. Cool, bro.

l'll let you use my parents' Hot Topic card.

- Yeah! - All right! Right on!

Yeah, l was at the original batsfjord Massacre Fest.

lt was insanely brutal.

No way. brutal, man.

l stole my kid's trust fund to get there.

l got frostbite. Check it out.

That's so brutal.

My little sister didn't really like Dethklok,

so l made her drink motor oil, and she got real sick.

Whatever.

Call me when you got a real story, you [bleep]ing dildo.

♪ And scream for your cream ♪

[ car alarm blaring ]

♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪ ♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪

♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪ ♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪

♪ Do anything for Dethklok ♪

♪ Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! Dethklok! ♪

♪ l'm...ticking...for...the... Dethklok! Dethklok! ♪

♪ Skwisgaar Skwigelf, taller than a tree ♪

♪ Toki Wartooth, not a bumblebee ♪

♪ William Murderface Murderface Murderface ♪

♪ Pickles the drummer ♪

♪ Doodily doo, doodily doo ♪

♪ Nathan Explosion ♪

The odds of another natural-gas explosion

are so remote that you have a better chance

of being killed by a bee sting inside the belly of a whale.

So come on down to Duncan Hills and try a new Dethklok

Norwegian blackened blood coffee.

lt's totally safe, totally safe.

Gentlemen, as you know,

these bombings are deliberate and not accidental.

We've got to find out who it is.

General Crozier.

This mysterious car was seen leaving the last bombing.

We did a face-recognition scan.

lt came up with former

Dethklok superfan and webmaster Edgar Jomfru.

And the suspect who planted the bombs?

He appears to be a young boy wearing

a dead-skin mask of Eric Jomfru.

The Jomfru brothers have been missing since

lnternational Fan Day.

lt's been rumored that they were being held prisoner in Mordhaus.

We believe that Edgar Jomfru is the brains

behind the anti-Dethklok terrorist organization

known as the Revengencers.

And the gentleman with the silver face?

He's the brother of a man

we sent into infiltrate Mordhaus some time ago.

lf he wants Dethklok dead, l'm sure he can make it happen.

The victims of these Duncan Hills coffee

natural-gas-coincidence explosions need your help.

Even l had my legs blown off

when several pieces of shrapnel --

All right.

So, you all know that we are in the middle of building

a hospital for the victims of this public-relations disaster.

Oh, god. That's pandering.

Pandering!

Well, l don't see it as pandering.

lt's a hospital for horribly

injured victims of, uh, these explosions.

Hell, that's not our fault.

We didn'ts do that.

Well, they are your fans, and they, uh,

have been badly injured and some of them killed, uh,

trying to buy your collectible coffee cups.

Maybe you could show a little compassion.

Compassion?!

Oh, no, no, no, no.

l got no sympathy for anyone.

l got one of these darn summer colds.

l mean, where's my benefit concert?

l mean, is there anything worse?

See, that's something we

have compassion for is summer colds.

You can -- you can relate to -- see,

you can't relate to your arms being blown off.

You can't.

Well, uh, maybe being blown to bits

is worse than a summer cold.

Oh, come on.

When did yous comes so carings about stuffs?

Does your drunks or something?

No, l'm not drunk.

l'm just, uh, trying to, you know, repair your image.

Repair our image with healthcare.

Why we gots to spends our hardened-earneds money

on medical stuffs for people's --

Oh, god, this mother [bleep]ing eye-gouging [bleep]

sucking, mother [bleep]ing summer cold.

lt's driving me crazy over here.

MURDERFACE: Stay away from me,

'cause l can feel my throat getting scratchy.

l don't want to get sick.

They're hard to get rid of.

They don't go away.

l was gonna say that's psychosomaticals,

but l thinks my throats gets scratchy, too.

Ahh...

ahhhh...

ah-choo!

Oh [bleep] l'm sneezing.

[bleep]!

These are the moments that define us.

You seem preoccupied.

What bothers you?

This man.

He must be killed and made an example of in front of the world.

l will crucify him.

be patient.

We must strike at the right time

or we can risk losing everything.

Excuse me. l need to get by you.

Do you want a burrito, also?

No?

Two burritos for me.

lf we kill him, they will have no one to hide behind.

And when Dethklok plays at the hospital,

we will be there and we will take them down!

You're not dying.

lt's just a cold.

lndeed, we are dying.

l really don't feel great.

Did you ever have colds before?

Can't you gives us injections?

Come on, use your fancy degrees, asshole!

Take it easy, all right?

No drinking, no partying.

Give me that cigar.

Just take it easy.

Go to the sauna, sweat it out, and relax, okay?

Take it easy.

ldiots.

Sure is hot in here.

You know, he's right about that.

lt is a sauna, you know?

lt's supposed to be hots.

l did a little sneaking around,

and l found some booze, and l got some shots.

Who wants to do some shots?

l'm in.

Yeah, l'll do a couple shots.

Yeah, buts isn't we not supposed to do this?

That's what he said.

Ah, bull[bleep] Toki.

You don't listen to doctors.

Yeah, you don't need doctors.

l don't want any of your [bleep]ing money, anyway.

Hey, l got a medieval medical remedies.

Check it out.

That's pretty awesome.

Well here.

All's we got to do is pass a baby under a horse three times,

and we're cured of a cold.

That doctor didn't say that.

He doesn't know anything.

Dude, l see a documentary,

where they make you put leeches on yourself.

Dude, we should have leeches.

Yeah.

You, go get us some leeches.

Yeah, go get them [bleep]head.

Hey, guys, how are your guys doing?

You know, your leeches.

Looks at me.

l'm Elvis Presley.

[ laughs ]

Hey, look at me.

l'm that guy from, uh, that movie where the guy wore

that mask, and, uh, Natalie Portman was in it.

Yeah, it's just likes him.

NATHAN: Check it out.

Hey, guys, look at me.

l'm a professional NFL football player.

Looks at me.

l'm leech Charlie Chaplin.

You're leech Hitler.

Hey, Murderface, do, like, a leech Al Jolson.

Okay, leech Al Jolson coming up.

Give me more.

Mammy, l'm from Alabamy.

Leech Al Jolson.

Now, that guy was an entertainer.

Yeahs, he's the first greats blacks entertainer.

l don't feels no better.

Does anybody else?

Hey, sorry about the leech idea.

Hey, maybe we ought to up the ante,

as they say in the medical business.

bloodletting is the ancient medieval art of draining all

the bad blood from you and letting

your body regenerate new blood.

You, go -- go get a bucket and some bloodletting knives.

Guys, l got to be honest.

l feel like [bleep]ing [bleep] right now.

Hey, yo, l got to be honest.

l really doubt this is working.

lt is working.

Look, you're bleedings into a bucket, and that's working.

[ slowing down ] lt's just, you know, gives it chance.

[ distorted ] Yeah, l feel like l'm...

[ distorted ] lt's pretty brutal.

l mean, check it out.

[ groans ]

Would someone stops the bloods drains all out of me?

Would someone stops the bloods before it drains out of me?

Would someone stops the bloods drains all out of me?

[ monitor beeping ]

Uh, you guys ready to do the concert?

[ beeping continues ]

[ crickets chirping ]

[ beep ] Hey.

Dr. bender to the mental ward.

Hey.

Hey, wake up.

Somebody's talking to you, and it's me.

lt's Nathan Explosion at a hospital.

l'm making a public appearance.

Hey, wake up! Oh, look, look, look, look.

Hey, hey, l don't think this show's gonna be very good

that we're gonna do, 'cause l don't feel good.

l got a summer cold.

Okay, you go back to sleep now.

Was you a little girls or little boy?

Hi.

l'm Nathan Explosion from Dethklok.

lt's really good.

Thanks for buying our records.

Hey, l don't think this show's gonna be very good.

Dude, it's a free show.

What do you want? Us to feel great about it?

Well, uh, regardless, you guys do have to go onstage.

NATHAN: Hey. Hey, you.

Hey, listen, it's gonna be a bad show.

l got a cold, so does Pickles, so does Skwisgaar,

so does Murderface, and, uh -- and, uh...

We don't even want to be here.

PlCKLES: Tell them just to lower their expectations.

lt's not gonna be great.

Let's cut the set list in half.

l should just do one song.

Ready?

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ Pull the plug ♪

♪ l drove my truck into a moving van ♪

♪ lt was all filled up with jet fuel ♪

♪ And l crashed right in and explosion ♪

♪ Smash through the window and ripped off my hands ♪

♪ Medical team drove up and found me ♪

♪ bleeding in pieces picked up off the street ♪

♪ Drove me into a filthy hospital ♪

♪ Horror experienced financially ♪

♪ Woke up in pain in a gown in bed ♪

♪ lnternal hemorrhaging inside my head ♪

♪ l really think that l should be dead ♪

♪ l saw the bill, and then l cry, bled ♪

♪ To keep me alive, it is costing me ♪

♪ National deficit times three ♪

♪ There is no way to avoid this fee ♪

♪ Please pull the plug and kill me ♪

What are you doing?

Revengeance.

MAN: No way.

They're trying to kill Dethklok.

♪ Pull the plug ♪

Get away.

♪ lt's costing too much ♪

Why should you care about this?

They made you this way.

They turned you into monsters.

[bleep] you, fat ass.

No!

[ groaning ]

[ groans ]

[ groans ]