Original subtitles

(horn blows)

♫ He's Vic the Viking

♫ Sailing the seas, it's Vic the Viking

♫ Full of ideas, it's Vic the Viking

♫ Say, won't you take us with you, please

♫ He's Vic the Viking

♫ With new adventures, Vic the Viking

♫ Battle the dangers, Vic the Viking

♫ Bring every enemy to his knees

♫ Vic the Viking

(whimsical music)

(trumpet music)

♫ Oh, stout vikings brave and bold

♫ From foreign lands claim their gold

- Mute that lute, Ulme.

I can't hear myself count.

One piece of eight, two pieces of eight.

- Get your tentacles off.

My wife's always wanted a pickling box.

- It's an onion mincer, you cod brain, and I saw it first.

(grunting)

- [Both] Huh?

(sighs)

(music box chimes)

(snoring)

(humming)

- I miss Mum's bedtime songs.

But Flake's still a week away.

- Cheer up, tadpole.

Your dad knows a shortcut.

(group grumbling)

- Here we go again.

- Hey, hey, hey!

Thor's boots!

What's got into you all?

- We all know your shortcut

is a canal controlled by the Danes.

They won't let us pass unless we pay them a hefty toll.

- Ha! What a bunch of cowardly cutthroats.

The Danes can't charge us if they can't see us.

- [All] Huh?

- You're gonna make us invisible?

How?

- Ah, a little old Viking magic. (laughs)

To wars, men!

We'll see Flake tomorrow morning.

(cheering)

(splash)

- Quick, men!

Pretend to repair the drakkar.

Snorre, fake sewing.

Ulme, feign painting.

And Tjure, oh, hammer something.

Those gold-grubbing, herring boners!

No one should own a shipping route.

- It's not fair.

- What are they waiting for?

- I'm stuck!

We can't!

It's not sailworthy.

- We'll wait for you, Vikings.

(grunts)

(grunts)

(singing)

- Uh, what are we fixing again, Chief?

- Nothing, dull man's skull.

We're just pretending so the Danes don't get suspicious.

- Ship ahoy!

- Ah, ha ha ha!

Perfect!

We'll be like a barnacle on a whale's belly.

- Huh?

- Go around, good sir.

- Sir, I couldn't possibly leave you in distress.

- Sir, I insist.

Go around.

We're waiting on a new sail from our village.

- Sir, I wouldn't dream of it.

Please allow me to tow you home.

- Odin's tooth!

Go around, sir, before I scuttle you.

- Oh! How very rude.

- Follow that ship, Vikings.

Time for your old dad's little disappearing trick.

- Halt!

This canal is property of the Danish chief, Olaf One-Eye.

The toll is two barrels of treasure.

Prepare for the inspection.

- Oh! Two barrels.

- Are you sure about this, Papa?

- Ha! Like taking candied cod from a baby wolf.

On my signal, men.

(whistles)

(chain rattling)

- Go! That's it!

Faster! Not too fast!

(grunting)

(music box chimes)

(humming)

- Are the fish singing to me?

Oy! Where is that coming from?

Oh, no, you don't!

Halt in the name of Olaf One-Eye!

(whistles)

- Stop! Stop! Stop!

(groaning)

(boat skidding)

(sighing)

- (laughs) Going somewhere, Vikings?

Prepare for inspection.

(sighs)

Toll dodgers, eh?

Trying to sneak past without paying.

The toll is three barrels of treasure.

(gasping)

- But it was two before!

- It's gone up,

plus an extra bag of gold for having an unseaworthy vessel.

- No, no, no.

We were only pretending to make repairs.

- Oh, ho ho, really?

Then I will take another bag of gold for contempt.

- Scuttle back to your crab hole, Dane.

We Vikings will take up farming before we give you our loot.

- Oh, then, I cannot help you, I'm afraid.

(groaning)

Enjoy the scenic route! (laughs)

- Oh!

- Having to take the long way home

because of that jumped-up lemming counter.

I'll make Danish sausage out of him.

- See you in a week, Vikings!

- (sighs) Beaten by a Dane.

- Cheer your thoughts.

The stones predict much excitement on our journey home.

(thunder rumbles)

- Look! A storm!

(gasping)

- Some excitement.

(whimpers)

We'll be sunk with all this loot weighing us down.

- Turn around, Halvar.

The canal is the only way to avoid the storm.

- Never!

I'd rather give our loot to a pirate like Sven

than pay that Dane a penny.

- Hmmm.

Aha!

I know how we can save the loot and avoid the storm,

but you'll all have to follow Dad's lead

and I'll need our second sail.

- To outrun the storm?

Don't worry, little one.

The stones predict it is but a passing shower.

(thunder rumbles loudly)

- My seagull exploded!

- We're sailing back to the Dane.

- One for Olaf, one for me, one for Olaf, one for me.

(groaning)

One for Olaf.

Aha!

(chuckles)

Well, well, look what the catfish dragged in.

(Vic groans)

- Owwwww!

(groaning)

- Holy Roman empires!

What happened to you, Vikings?

- (groans) Ow! Pirates.

Sven the Terrible attacked us just outside the canal.

He took everything.

All the other Vikings are going to laugh at me.

(crying)

- Aha!

(moaning)

(grunts)

- Uh, hmmm.

(gasps)

- Doh!

Huh? A fish?

- Sven even stole our food.

Now we proud Vikings have to scour the seas for our supper.

Maybe we could pay you in fish, noble Dane?

- Don't trifle with me, Viking.

I want gold, not goldfish.

- Huh?

(grunts)

Don't upset the Dane, Papa.

He has enough to worry about.

After all, he's in charge of the canal

and should ensure safe passage to all travelers.

Maybe we should tell your chieftain

about our lack of protection?

(gasps)

- Olaf One-Eye?

No, please.

He'll filet me into salmon strips.

(giggles nervously)

We're all honest Norse here, yes?

You are free to go.

(sighs)

(whistles)

(whimsical music)

(sail ripping)

- Smart lad!

That's what I call a disappearing act.

- Viking swindlers!

After them!

- Row, men, and don't spare the seahorses!

(grunting)

(dramatic music)

(laughing)

- No one escape the Danes!

- No one pillages a Viking!

(whistles)

(yelling)

- Pull the sail and the loot back on the deck, Faxe.

- Ohhh!

Get me down, you jelly backs, and watch my medals, will you?

(laughing)

- He's a clever boy, this one.

He made a drakkar load of treasure disappear,

with a little help from his dad, of course.

(moaning)

- It really does work, my little rollmop.

There must be some water in it.

(screams)

(giggles)

Poo-chin, I didn't know!

(laughing)

Wait, manatee!

I'll make it up to you!

Please!