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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,970 -Previously on This Is Us... -REBECCA: I'm not gonna 2 00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:05,139 do that trial, Randall. 3 00:00:05,173 --> 00:00:06,307 And I really don't want to hear 4 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,808 what either of you has to say about it 5 00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,211 because I have made the decision for myself. 6 00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:12,246 RANDALL: This could've saved her life. 7 00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:13,981 Don't you ever wonder what it would've been like 8 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:15,183 if Dad hadn't died? 9 00:00:15,216 --> 00:00:18,552 No. I don't, Randall. Do you? 10 00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,921 Dad, if you go back in that house, so help me, God, 11 00:00:20,954 --> 00:00:23,657 I'll go through that front door and get you myself! 12 00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,658 (Rebecca exclaims) 13 00:00:24,692 --> 00:00:26,727 (siren wailing) 14 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:29,263 Every single day. 15 00:00:30,564 --> 00:00:33,867 (siren wailing in distance) 16 00:00:33,901 --> 00:00:37,171 (mouthing) 17 00:00:37,205 --> 00:00:39,340 RANDALL: I haven't been able to stop thinking about it 18 00:00:39,373 --> 00:00:42,543 since I asked my brother, 19 00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:46,980 what my life would be like if my dad hadn't died. 20 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,386 What do you think would've been different? 21 00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,092 * 22 00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,303 It's all just... 23 00:01:09,337 --> 00:01:11,972 gone? 24 00:01:12,005 --> 00:01:13,974 Yeah. 25 00:01:14,007 --> 00:01:16,144 You're lucky you weren't there. 26 00:01:16,177 --> 00:01:18,045 -(footsteps approaching) -MIGUEL: All right. 27 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,447 Here you go. 28 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:21,749 -RANDALL: Thank you. -Waters all around. 29 00:01:21,782 --> 00:01:23,984 Hey, uh, you guys need anything else? 30 00:01:24,017 --> 00:01:26,287 -I can heat up some food for you to eat, or... -RANDALL: No, thank you. 31 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,655 -No. Thank you. -Mom, Dad. 32 00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,723 -Guys... -Hey, Kev. Is everyone okay? 33 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,492 -Hi, sweetheart. God... -Are you okay? -Yeah, no, no, no, I'm fine. 34 00:01:31,525 --> 00:01:33,594 Yeah, no, I'm fine. I'm okay. 35 00:01:33,627 --> 00:01:34,995 -Hi, baby doll. -Hi, Mom. -JACK: Just some minor burns. 36 00:01:35,028 --> 00:01:37,064 Hey, the doctor said I'm gonna be fine. 37 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:38,732 He said the smoke inhalation was minimal. 38 00:01:38,766 --> 00:01:41,302 Yeah, thank God you didn't go back in the house. 39 00:01:41,335 --> 00:01:43,637 Well, thank God that fireman actually got to Louie. 40 00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:44,838 I wouldn't be able to live with myself. 41 00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:47,074 -He okay? -KATE: Yeah, I think so. 42 00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:48,476 Okay. 43 00:01:48,509 --> 00:01:52,513 Hey, guys, listen to me. 44 00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,948 We're all gonna be fine. 45 00:01:54,982 --> 00:01:58,286 -REBECCA: Yeah. -Right? We're here, together. 46 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,920 That's all that matters. 47 00:01:59,953 --> 00:02:03,291 This family is the only thing that matters. 48 00:02:05,993 --> 00:02:08,696 So, I just got off the phone with the police. 49 00:02:08,729 --> 00:02:10,698 They have officially cleared the house. 50 00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:13,801 I'm gonna go over there and see what's left, 51 00:02:13,834 --> 00:02:17,171 see if there's anything salvageable. 52 00:02:21,309 --> 00:02:22,876 Bec. 53 00:02:22,910 --> 00:02:24,512 We'll find temporary housing. 54 00:02:24,545 --> 00:02:25,779 -No, no, no, babe, it's-it's... -Okay? We... 55 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:27,715 It's not about the house. 56 00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:30,050 I mean, we, we could have died. 57 00:02:31,985 --> 00:02:34,355 And it just... (stammers) 58 00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:37,391 it-it puts things in perspective, you know? 59 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,860 Like what? 60 00:02:39,893 --> 00:02:42,896 (sighs) Like... 61 00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:50,538 Things you know you should share, 62 00:02:50,571 --> 00:02:55,008 but you don't because it's hard. 63 00:02:55,042 --> 00:02:58,812 And... time goes by. 64 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:03,251 And then more time goes by, and eventually you're... 65 00:03:07,521 --> 00:03:10,891 (whispers): I have to tell you something. 66 00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:13,894 Randall? 67 00:03:13,927 --> 00:03:17,865 Hey, uh, Miguel took Kate and Kevin to go buy some essentials. 68 00:03:17,898 --> 00:03:19,400 I'm looking up that info you asked about, 69 00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:20,534 the fire insurance policy, 70 00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:22,736 -you know... -Son, just... 71 00:03:25,406 --> 00:03:26,507 What's wrong? 72 00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:28,108 What happened? 73 00:03:28,141 --> 00:03:30,911 (sighs) 74 00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:33,113 Mom, you're really freaking me out. 75 00:03:34,214 --> 00:03:36,216 REBECCA: Sweetheart. 76 00:03:38,085 --> 00:03:40,488 When you were a baby... 77 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:46,327 ...I met your father. 78 00:03:47,595 --> 00:03:49,597 Your birth father. 79 00:03:52,232 --> 00:03:54,234 My... 80 00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:56,637 My-my what? 81 00:03:58,238 --> 00:03:59,940 How? 82 00:03:59,973 --> 00:04:03,777 He, he was hanging around outside the hospital, 83 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:07,147 and I followed him back to his apartment. 84 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:09,817 But, sweetheart, you have to understand, 85 00:04:09,850 --> 00:04:11,719 he was not well, okay? 86 00:04:11,752 --> 00:04:16,924 He was an addict and I, I-I got out of there 87 00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,959 and I never said anything to anyone. 88 00:04:18,992 --> 00:04:20,394 And then I tried to go back years later... 89 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,262 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 90 00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,332 (cries) 91 00:04:28,001 --> 00:04:31,204 This whole time, you knew who he was? 92 00:04:33,507 --> 00:04:36,143 You just kept it secret from me? 93 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:41,949 -All these years. -No, no, no, no, no. 94 00:04:41,982 --> 00:04:45,686 He just found out five minutes ago, okay? 95 00:04:45,719 --> 00:04:47,455 (sighs) 96 00:04:48,489 --> 00:04:49,990 What's his name? 97 00:04:51,024 --> 00:04:53,026 What is his name?! 98 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,795 William... (exhales) 99 00:04:54,828 --> 00:04:56,464 William Hill. 100 00:05:00,334 --> 00:05:02,302 (quietly): I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 101 00:05:02,336 --> 00:05:04,972 -Stop, stop. -Okay, okay. 102 00:05:05,005 --> 00:05:06,974 Do you know where he lives? 103 00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:10,778 Um, I don't know if he still lives there, but I can, 104 00:05:10,811 --> 00:05:12,780 -I can show you where he lived years ago. -No, no, no. 105 00:05:12,813 --> 00:05:14,448 Just give me the address. I'll go by myself. 106 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:17,217 -JACK: No, you won't. -No. I need to do this, Dad. 107 00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:20,888 I know. I know. 108 00:05:20,921 --> 00:05:22,556 I'll go with you. 109 00:05:24,525 --> 00:05:28,328 -(exhales) Hey, Dad? -Yeah? 110 00:05:28,362 --> 00:05:30,297 This isn't-- I... 111 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,500 This isn't about you. 112 00:05:32,533 --> 00:05:34,968 Uh, l-like, wanting to meet him. I... 113 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,804 Yeah, no, I know. 114 00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,473 Yeah, it's okay. 115 00:05:39,507 --> 00:05:42,743 I think this is it. 116 00:05:42,776 --> 00:05:45,012 You ready? 117 00:05:47,047 --> 00:05:48,281 -(quietly): Uh-huh. -Yeah. 118 00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:56,356 (mutters) 119 00:05:57,891 --> 00:05:59,893 Can I help you? 120 00:06:00,928 --> 00:06:02,095 Are you William Hill? 121 00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:04,297 Last I checked. 122 00:06:05,933 --> 00:06:08,736 My name is Randall Pearson. 123 00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,203 I think I'm your son. 124 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,748 Wow. Top of your class. 125 00:06:20,781 --> 00:06:21,949 That's something. 126 00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,717 RANDALL: Hey, what can I say? 127 00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:25,118 -I work hard. -(chuckles) 128 00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,120 Not trying to brag or anything. 129 00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,122 -We're very proud of him. -Yeah. 130 00:06:29,156 --> 00:06:30,624 Mm. 131 00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:35,062 Well, so, uh, do you play any instruments? 132 00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,697 RANDALL: Oh, well, 133 00:06:36,730 --> 00:06:38,799 I'm not really the musical one in the family. 134 00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,568 My sister Kate is. 135 00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:43,403 She gets it from my mom. My adopted mom. 136 00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:45,138 Randall. 137 00:06:46,339 --> 00:06:48,742 RANDALL: Uh, speaking of, 138 00:06:48,776 --> 00:06:53,246 I was wondering if you could, uh, tell me more about 139 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:56,316 -my biological mom? -WILLIAM: Oh... (exhales) 140 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,786 Well... 141 00:06:58,819 --> 00:07:00,454 Do you know the feeling you get 142 00:07:00,488 --> 00:07:03,290 when you take a sip of something hot? 143 00:07:03,323 --> 00:07:05,325 That was Laurel. 144 00:07:05,358 --> 00:07:09,096 She was a warm drink straight to your soul. 145 00:07:10,698 --> 00:07:12,432 She stopped using when she was pregnant, 146 00:07:12,466 --> 00:07:15,402 but right after you were born... 147 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,238 Old habits. 148 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,641 She didn't make it. 149 00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:23,343 And me, I... I didn't know the first thing 150 00:07:23,376 --> 00:07:26,013 about raising a baby on my own. 151 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:33,186 You were never not wanted. 152 00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:36,223 In fact... 153 00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:45,633 ...I wrote these for you a long time ago. 154 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:49,903 I never thought anyone else would see it besides me. 155 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,479 Maybe I can go back next week? 156 00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,884 You know, Randall, I really think you should 157 00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:07,621 temper your expectations of this guy, just a little bit. 158 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:08,822 What do you mean? 159 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:11,224 He was a very nice man. 160 00:08:11,258 --> 00:08:15,996 But I think, I think he might still be using. 161 00:08:16,029 --> 00:08:19,399 -So? -So I'm really not too comfortable 162 00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:21,034 with my son spending time with a guy who's... 163 00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:23,070 -Come on, Dad. -...involved with that. 164 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:26,273 Dad, you're an addict, too. 165 00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,580 Please. 166 00:08:43,223 --> 00:08:45,358 JACK: It's been 167 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:49,329 a tough time for my family lately. 168 00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:51,732 * 169 00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,100 WILLIAM: From the, uh, 170 00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,102 American Songbook, these are riffs that I've been... 171 00:08:55,135 --> 00:08:57,070 It's been a long time since I've spoken 172 00:08:57,104 --> 00:08:59,907 to a room full of people like this. 173 00:09:01,041 --> 00:09:02,743 RANDALL: So I've been thinking, 174 00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:06,446 I'm probably gonna stay home for college, go to Carnegie Mellon. 175 00:09:06,479 --> 00:09:07,781 But you got into Howard. 176 00:09:07,815 --> 00:09:09,282 I thought that was your top choice. 177 00:09:09,316 --> 00:09:12,185 It was, but... 178 00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:15,756 I-I thought it'd be nice to spend more time together. 179 00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:16,957 Right? 180 00:09:16,990 --> 00:09:19,727 Right. 181 00:09:19,760 --> 00:09:20,961 That's cool. 182 00:09:20,994 --> 00:09:22,630 (car door closes) 183 00:09:22,663 --> 00:09:25,098 REBECCA: Hey, sweetheart, if you did forget anything, 184 00:09:25,132 --> 00:09:26,900 we'll be happy to drive it over to you. 185 00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:31,538 You sure you don't want me to come with you guys 186 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:32,740 and help you move in? 187 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:34,541 The car's pretty packed, 188 00:09:34,574 --> 00:09:36,476 so there's only really room for two of us. 189 00:09:36,509 --> 00:09:38,612 Okay. 190 00:09:38,646 --> 00:09:41,248 I'm gonna go say bye to Kevin and Kate. 191 00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,482 Okay. 192 00:09:45,185 --> 00:09:48,155 Hey. He's just sorting through everything. 193 00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:50,157 -Yeah. -Okay? 194 00:09:50,190 --> 00:09:52,192 He'll come around. 195 00:10:00,533 --> 00:10:02,770 -Oh... -Oh, oh, I-I'm sorry. 196 00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:04,638 No problem. 197 00:10:07,340 --> 00:10:09,777 -(laughter) -Beth, we are so thrilled to have you here tonight. 198 00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,411 This is the first time we've had 199 00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,947 all of our kids home from college at the same time. 200 00:10:13,981 --> 00:10:15,515 BETH: Oh, thank you for having me over. 201 00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:19,853 (chuckles) Oh, I-I brought, uh, a little something. 202 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:21,621 -Oh, you didn't need to do that. You don't... -It's just a little gift. 203 00:10:21,655 --> 00:10:23,791 You don't need to bring us a g-- whoa! Hot sauce? 204 00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:25,893 -No, no, give that here. -(laughter) 205 00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,962 Uh, my-my dad loved hot sauce, too. 206 00:10:28,996 --> 00:10:31,865 Uh, he always brought it with him 207 00:10:31,899 --> 00:10:33,500 to every house we went as a gift. 208 00:10:33,533 --> 00:10:35,202 But it wasn't actually a gift, he just wanted 209 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:37,137 to make sure he always had hot sauce. (laughs) 210 00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,172 Randall told us that, um, 211 00:10:39,206 --> 00:10:40,941 that he passed last year. 212 00:10:40,974 --> 00:10:43,043 We were very sorry to hear that. 213 00:10:43,076 --> 00:10:45,645 Yeah, I can't imagine going through 214 00:10:45,679 --> 00:10:47,881 all of that stuff at your age, sweetheart. 215 00:10:47,915 --> 00:10:49,850 Yeah, we really shouldn't make her 216 00:10:49,883 --> 00:10:51,651 talk about it right now, Mom. 217 00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:53,553 -I'm sorry. -BETH: No, it... 218 00:10:53,586 --> 00:10:55,455 -No, no, no, no, it's-it's fine. -I'm sorry. 219 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:57,124 -It's fine. -JACK: Thank you. 220 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,526 -This is, uh, wonderful. -BETH: Yeah. (chuckles) 221 00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,361 REBECCA: Sweetheart, 222 00:11:01,394 --> 00:11:03,330 how do you like your salad? I added those 223 00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,833 little slivered almonds in there just for you. 224 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:08,168 Don't really like almonds. 225 00:11:09,402 --> 00:11:10,804 What? 226 00:11:10,838 --> 00:11:12,372 Since when? 227 00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:14,708 Never have. 228 00:11:14,742 --> 00:11:18,078 Could you show me where the bathroom is? 229 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,747 It's right through the kitchen. 230 00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:21,782 Can you show me? 231 00:11:23,283 --> 00:11:24,417 It's good, Mom. 232 00:11:24,451 --> 00:11:25,753 JACK: I like the almonds. 233 00:11:25,786 --> 00:11:28,488 Was that a "rescue me" head nod 234 00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,157 or a "I want to go sneak in a quick make-out" head nod? 235 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:31,358 That was a "quit being such 236 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,427 a dick to your mom" head nod. 237 00:11:34,461 --> 00:11:37,597 -You need to forgive her. -Beth, you don't know what you're talking about. 238 00:11:37,630 --> 00:11:39,767 -You don't know how I... -Look, I carry bottles of hot sauce 239 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:42,936 because they remind me of my dead dad. 240 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:46,606 And you get not one, but two, 241 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,009 living, breathing, really freaking 242 00:11:49,042 --> 00:11:50,911 cool dads, okay? 243 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:53,513 Li... life is short, Randall. 244 00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,848 It's too damn short. 245 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:56,950 (laughter, clamoring) 246 00:11:56,984 --> 00:11:59,887 -So Dad hops in to grab Kevin out of the pig pen. -Uh-huh. 247 00:11:59,920 --> 00:12:03,123 And he's screaming because he's decided he loves this pig... 248 00:12:03,156 --> 00:12:04,724 She won best in show at the county fair. 249 00:12:04,758 --> 00:12:06,559 It was a big deal when I was five. 250 00:12:06,593 --> 00:12:08,461 So-so me, Kate and my mom 251 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,198 are outside the fence, terrified... 252 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,866 We were screaming. 253 00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:14,201 -JACK: You remember that, crying? -Yes. 254 00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,803 You remember that? 255 00:12:15,836 --> 00:12:17,304 KATE: Yes, how can I forget? 256 00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:18,738 Actually, do you want to tell this part? 257 00:12:18,772 --> 00:12:19,940 You tell it better. 258 00:12:23,676 --> 00:12:26,814 Um... 259 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,816 the, um... 260 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,384 the little pig started squealing and then 261 00:12:31,418 --> 00:12:34,054 muddy little Kevin over here 262 00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:36,256 started squealing right back. 263 00:12:36,289 --> 00:12:38,758 And then Jack started squealing... 264 00:12:38,792 --> 00:12:41,694 * 265 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:50,503 I remember picking Randall up from school 266 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:53,406 one day in, uh, sixth grade. 267 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,277 And he was studying the periodic table. 268 00:12:57,310 --> 00:13:00,580 He was so excited to tell me about Marie Curie 269 00:13:00,613 --> 00:13:03,350 and her husband Pierre... 270 00:13:03,383 --> 00:13:07,254 who had discovered radium and polonium 271 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,422 together. 272 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:10,790 Kid's 11. 273 00:13:10,824 --> 00:13:12,359 (laughter) 274 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:13,994 And I-I remember him saying to me, 275 00:13:14,027 --> 00:13:17,097 "Dad, I want to marry someone 276 00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:19,299 I can discover elements with." 277 00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:22,435 Lets raise our glasses. 278 00:13:22,469 --> 00:13:23,703 To Randall and Beth. 279 00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,038 ALL: To Randall and Beth. 280 00:13:28,375 --> 00:13:31,611 And that is how you got the name Tess. 281 00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,782 Because of a ceiling fan of all things. 282 00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:38,685 Pretty perfect first grandkid, huh? 283 00:13:38,718 --> 00:13:41,388 No complaints here. 284 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:44,791 Mind if I join? 285 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:47,527 -(gasps) -Come on in, Grandpa. 286 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,930 (chuckles) 287 00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,068 Hey, beautiful. 288 00:13:55,102 --> 00:13:56,403 RANDALL: All right. 289 00:13:56,436 --> 00:13:57,537 Ham's in the oven. 290 00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:59,506 Everyone's arriving at 2:00. 291 00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:02,342 The Pearson Christmas Feast is right on track. 292 00:14:02,375 --> 00:14:03,911 Fruitcake? 293 00:14:03,944 --> 00:14:05,979 Nah, stomach's a little funny. 294 00:14:06,013 --> 00:14:08,481 Again? 295 00:14:08,515 --> 00:14:09,883 DOCTOR: We rarely catch 296 00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,152 stomach cancer in its earliest stages. 297 00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:14,854 You are a very lucky man. 298 00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,557 Lucky my boy here's a relentless son of a gun. 299 00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,026 RANDALL: Hey, guys, gather round. 300 00:14:19,059 --> 00:14:20,760 Let me get this picture real quick. 301 00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:24,331 Everybody say, "Thanksgiving hot dogs wrapped in cheese." 302 00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:27,734 ALL: Thanksgiving hot dogs wrapped in cheese! 303 00:14:27,767 --> 00:14:29,002 Yeah! (laughs) 304 00:14:29,036 --> 00:14:30,070 REBECCA: Okay, wait, no. 305 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,404 I want to get one, too. 306 00:14:31,438 --> 00:14:33,740 -On my phone... -(all clamoring) 307 00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:35,708 Where did I put my phone? 308 00:14:35,742 --> 00:14:37,744 No, wait, hold on a sec. It was just here. 309 00:14:37,777 --> 00:14:39,379 -What's wrong, hon? -Can't find my phone. 310 00:14:39,412 --> 00:14:40,847 BETH: I'll help you look for it, Rebecca. 311 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,782 I just had it. 312 00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:45,418 She misplaced her phone again. 313 00:14:50,823 --> 00:14:53,126 LEIGH: I'm sorry to interrupt you, 314 00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,728 Randall, but I suspect 315 00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:57,264 that you and your father are about 316 00:14:57,297 --> 00:14:59,399 to band together to save your mother? 317 00:14:59,432 --> 00:15:01,468 So I'm just trying to keep track here. 318 00:15:01,501 --> 00:15:04,737 In the version of your life 319 00:15:04,771 --> 00:15:06,306 where your father lives, 320 00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:09,109 you immediately find your birth father, 321 00:15:09,142 --> 00:15:11,144 get him clean, 322 00:15:11,178 --> 00:15:12,745 your parents' marriage survives, 323 00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:14,447 you have the same wife and kids, 324 00:15:14,481 --> 00:15:16,449 cure stomach cancer, 325 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:19,152 and you get your mother into this clinical trial? 326 00:15:19,186 --> 00:15:21,854 Yeah, that's what I think would've happened. 327 00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:24,257 Gotcha. 328 00:15:25,858 --> 00:15:28,495 Hey, there's, um, 329 00:15:28,528 --> 00:15:30,497 Scrabble and Connect Four 330 00:15:30,530 --> 00:15:32,499 in the cabinet behind you. 331 00:15:32,532 --> 00:15:34,801 You're in that chair for another half an hour. 332 00:15:34,834 --> 00:15:37,404 We could either play games or you could be honest. 333 00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:39,472 Your choice. 334 00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:47,014 I don't understand. 335 00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:48,681 You asked for my version. 336 00:15:48,715 --> 00:15:50,117 Rose-colored or not, 337 00:15:50,150 --> 00:15:51,484 that's what I gave you. 338 00:15:51,518 --> 00:15:54,587 Randall, when we started working together, 339 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:57,524 you asked me to challenge you. 340 00:15:57,557 --> 00:15:59,359 Now let's try this again. 341 00:15:59,392 --> 00:16:03,263 This time tell me what scares you the most 342 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,831 about what could have happened 343 00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,167 if your father survived that night? 344 00:16:09,669 --> 00:16:11,704 * 345 00:16:28,688 --> 00:16:31,058 Please say something. 346 00:16:33,026 --> 00:16:35,162 What do you want me to say? 347 00:16:38,598 --> 00:16:40,733 That you... 348 00:16:40,767 --> 00:16:43,203 understand why I did it? 349 00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:47,006 You met our son's birth father 350 00:16:47,040 --> 00:16:50,210 and then you lied to me about it for 17 years. 351 00:16:50,243 --> 00:16:52,845 What am I supposed to understand about that? 352 00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,915 That I was trying to protect him. 353 00:16:55,948 --> 00:16:57,817 Protect him from what? 354 00:16:57,850 --> 00:16:59,219 William was sick. 355 00:16:59,252 --> 00:17:00,353 He was an addict. 356 00:17:00,387 --> 00:17:01,854 I was, I was worried 357 00:17:01,888 --> 00:17:03,656 he would want to take Randall away from us. 358 00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,525 Well, then we could have dealt with that 359 00:17:05,558 --> 00:17:07,994 together as a family. 360 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:10,897 But you made that call on your own. 361 00:17:10,930 --> 00:17:12,399 (short laugh) 362 00:17:12,432 --> 00:17:13,900 You... 363 00:17:13,933 --> 00:17:16,236 You were wrong, Bec. 364 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:17,904 My God, you were so wrong. 365 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,406 I wanted to tell you so many times. 366 00:17:19,439 --> 00:17:20,540 Then why didn't you, huh? 367 00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,609 Because I was scared. 368 00:17:22,642 --> 00:17:24,544 And I-I knew that you would want to do 369 00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:25,845 what you thought was right. 370 00:17:25,878 --> 00:17:27,747 And I'm-I'm sorry. 371 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,349 I'm sorry, Jack. 372 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:30,917 I'm so sorry. 373 00:17:33,253 --> 00:17:35,688 I can't even look at you right now. 374 00:17:35,722 --> 00:17:37,790 The Rebecca that I know? 375 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:40,560 She isn't capable of something this cruel. 376 00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:43,463 She is not capable of keeping our son 377 00:17:43,496 --> 00:17:45,632 away from his birth father. 378 00:17:45,665 --> 00:17:46,866 (door creaks) 379 00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,601 -Oh, my God... -Stop! 380 00:17:48,635 --> 00:17:50,470 Randall... 381 00:17:50,503 --> 00:17:53,506 I will take care of our son. 382 00:17:58,311 --> 00:17:59,779 (knocking) 383 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:03,950 (jazz playing) 384 00:18:11,090 --> 00:18:13,593 Look, if it's bibles you're selling, I've got several. 385 00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:16,263 William Hill? 386 00:18:16,296 --> 00:18:18,898 I don't love it when people know my name 387 00:18:18,931 --> 00:18:20,600 and I'm not familiar with theirs. 388 00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:25,004 I'm Randall Pearson. 389 00:18:25,037 --> 00:18:27,340 17 years ago, I was left at a fire station 390 00:18:27,374 --> 00:18:29,276 in Bethel Park. 391 00:18:30,710 --> 00:18:32,812 I'm your son. 392 00:18:40,453 --> 00:18:42,522 That's impossible. 393 00:18:42,555 --> 00:18:45,158 My mom says she saw you at the hospital the day that I was... 394 00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:46,493 I said that's impossible! 395 00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:49,362 I've never had children. 396 00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:50,597 And I don't got a son. 397 00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,031 JACK: Mr. Hill! 398 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,639 Hey, listen to me. 399 00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,342 That man may not know he has a son, 400 00:19:02,375 --> 00:19:04,444 but you have a father. 401 00:19:04,477 --> 00:19:06,846 You hear me? 402 00:19:09,749 --> 00:19:12,285 Howard has summer classes. 403 00:19:12,319 --> 00:19:14,587 I think I might go early. 404 00:19:18,558 --> 00:19:21,328 Okay. 405 00:19:21,361 --> 00:19:23,730 RANDALL: That's why we take care 406 00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:26,299 of our community, 'cause family is everything. 407 00:19:26,333 --> 00:19:29,068 (applause) 408 00:19:29,101 --> 00:19:30,203 Now my brother Quinton here's gonna lead us 409 00:19:30,237 --> 00:19:31,538 by "setting owt" a march. 410 00:19:31,571 --> 00:19:34,541 Let's clap it up for Brother Randall 411 00:19:34,574 --> 00:19:36,543 for leading a great group 412 00:19:36,576 --> 00:19:38,077 and being a great example. 413 00:19:38,110 --> 00:19:40,146 (rhythmic clapping) 414 00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,349 What's the motto of this group? 415 00:19:42,382 --> 00:19:43,850 ALL: Lifting as we climb! 416 00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:46,819 -We lift! We lift! -We climb! We climb! 417 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:48,020 -Que team! -(all bark) 418 00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,021 Que team! 419 00:19:49,055 --> 00:19:50,056 (all bark twice) 420 00:19:50,089 --> 00:19:51,057 Que team! 421 00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,526 (three barks) 422 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:55,061 Que Psi Phi! 423 00:19:55,094 --> 00:19:58,398 (fraternity brothers chanting in rhythm) 424 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,004 * Well, it's time * 425 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:08,007 * For us to throw down * 426 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,843 * For my Que Psi Phi * 427 00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:14,514 * Omega Psi Phi, for my Que Psi Phi * 428 00:20:14,547 --> 00:20:15,648 * Que Psi Phi! * 429 00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:39,972 It is the first time we have all the kids 430 00:20:40,006 --> 00:20:41,541 home from college at the same time. 431 00:20:41,574 --> 00:20:43,543 It's nice, isn't it, Jack? 432 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:46,112 Yeah. 433 00:20:49,115 --> 00:20:51,250 Uh, Rebecca, 434 00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:53,986 this Cornish hen is delicious. 435 00:20:54,020 --> 00:20:55,822 Oh, thank you, Sophie. 436 00:20:55,855 --> 00:20:57,724 -Yeah, Mom, really juicy. -Thank you. 437 00:20:57,757 --> 00:20:59,592 KEVIN: Hey, I helped. How about 438 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:00,927 throwing some compliments my way, guys? 439 00:21:00,960 --> 00:21:02,562 KATE: Oh, okay, Kevin. 440 00:21:02,595 --> 00:21:04,831 You're-you're the next Iron Chef. 441 00:21:04,864 --> 00:21:06,399 KEVIN: Dad, think I should 442 00:21:06,433 --> 00:21:08,901 quit Lundy and, uh, go to culinary school? 443 00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:12,104 You make one decent piece of chicken, and you want to 444 00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:13,773 abandon your old man on the job? 445 00:21:13,806 --> 00:21:15,942 (soft laughter) 446 00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,785 So, Randall, how's school? 447 00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,120 It's fine. 448 00:21:30,857 --> 00:21:33,225 Just... just fine? 449 00:21:41,368 --> 00:21:43,936 I can remember your first day of kindergarten. 450 00:21:43,970 --> 00:21:45,872 You burst through those front doors, 451 00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:47,774 you couldn't wait to get to the car and tell me 452 00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:50,276 everything about your day, and now you've been gone 453 00:21:50,309 --> 00:21:52,879 for a whole semester, and all I get is a "fine"? 454 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:54,981 Bec, please. 455 00:21:56,749 --> 00:21:59,085 (clears throat) 456 00:22:08,361 --> 00:22:11,831 I'm gonna go. I'm gonna catch a bus back to D.C. 457 00:22:11,864 --> 00:22:12,865 JACK: What, wait, now, Randall? 458 00:22:12,899 --> 00:22:15,034 Hey, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait... 459 00:22:15,067 --> 00:22:16,869 Dad, no. I thought I could do it. 460 00:22:16,903 --> 00:22:19,071 I thought enough time had passed and I'd be able to come back 461 00:22:19,105 --> 00:22:21,574 and things would be normal, but they're not. 462 00:22:21,608 --> 00:22:23,976 And they're never going to be. 463 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:26,813 -I'm sorry. -KEVIN: Randall, don't leave, man. 464 00:22:26,846 --> 00:22:27,947 Randall, please stay. 465 00:22:42,895 --> 00:22:48,000 And my son, just 11 years old, he walks clear across town 466 00:22:48,034 --> 00:22:53,506 just so he can get his favorite girl her favorite doughnuts. 467 00:22:53,540 --> 00:22:56,776 -ALL: Aw... -It was in that moment, Kevin, that I knew you'd spend 468 00:22:56,809 --> 00:22:59,879 the rest of your life going the extra mile 469 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,681 just to make Sophie happy. 470 00:23:01,714 --> 00:23:03,516 -I'm proud of you, son. -KEVIN: Thank you. 471 00:23:03,550 --> 00:23:05,885 -Hear, hear. Cheers. -(applause) 472 00:23:07,787 --> 00:23:10,189 Your dad is kind of a hottie. 473 00:23:10,222 --> 00:23:12,692 Uh, see, this is why I didn't want you coming with me. 474 00:23:12,725 --> 00:23:16,028 (laughs) I'm just teasing. 475 00:23:16,062 --> 00:23:19,098 You're a lot to unpack, RP. 476 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,399 Two years, and I've never once 477 00:23:20,433 --> 00:23:22,435 heard you talk about these people. 478 00:23:24,437 --> 00:23:26,639 RANDALL: Hey, let me show my face real quick, 479 00:23:26,673 --> 00:23:29,308 then we can get out of here, all right? 480 00:23:29,341 --> 00:23:30,543 Mmm. 481 00:23:30,577 --> 00:23:31,944 (inhales) 482 00:23:31,978 --> 00:23:33,480 KEVIN: Thank you very much for coming. 483 00:23:33,513 --> 00:23:35,748 Hey, Kev. 484 00:23:35,782 --> 00:23:37,216 -Hey. -Congrats, man. 485 00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:39,151 -Oh, thank you. Thanks. -Really happy for you. 486 00:23:39,185 --> 00:23:41,754 -Happy you came. -Yeah, man. 487 00:23:41,788 --> 00:23:45,958 (sighs) Um, Dad told me Big Three had a killer quarter. 488 00:23:45,992 --> 00:23:47,960 -That's great. -Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, we did. 489 00:23:47,994 --> 00:23:49,596 We got the city to commission two houses. 490 00:23:49,629 --> 00:23:51,498 -Okay. -And, uh, yeah, we've been doing great. 491 00:23:51,531 --> 00:23:54,166 -I'm trying to convince the old man to retire. -Ah. 492 00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:55,902 -Good luck with that. -Probably die with a hammer in his hands. 493 00:23:55,935 --> 00:23:57,504 -That's what I always say. -(laughs) 494 00:23:57,537 --> 00:23:59,338 Yeah. 495 00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:02,308 Uh-- Oh, hey, I read in the paper you got the Brunel, 496 00:24:02,341 --> 00:24:04,310 uh, teaching award. That-That's-that's huge, man. 497 00:24:04,343 --> 00:24:06,145 -Thank you very much, man. -Yeah. 498 00:24:06,178 --> 00:24:07,146 No, work's been good. 499 00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,649 My students have been good. 500 00:24:09,682 --> 00:24:11,417 KEVIN: Students are g-- I can see that. 501 00:24:11,450 --> 00:24:14,286 Uh, she's my T.A., man, it's nothing serious. 502 00:24:14,320 --> 00:24:17,189 -Well, it's never serious with you, brother, is it? -Ah... 503 00:24:17,223 --> 00:24:19,325 -KATE: Well, hey. -Look at this. 504 00:24:19,358 --> 00:24:22,328 -When did you sneak in? -Yeah, oh, just a sec ago. 505 00:24:22,361 --> 00:24:23,663 -Yeah? -And hi to this little lady. 506 00:24:23,696 --> 00:24:26,365 -Say hi. -Not so little anymore, huh? 507 00:24:26,398 --> 00:24:29,201 No. You want to go see Daddy? 508 00:24:29,235 --> 00:24:30,803 -(laughs) -Here, you go see Daddy. 509 00:24:30,837 --> 00:24:32,539 -That's a yes. -(Kate laughs) 510 00:24:32,572 --> 00:24:34,340 -RANDALL: See you later. -Go see Daddy. 511 00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:37,710 -Oh, man. Time flies. -KEVIN: Mm. 512 00:24:37,744 --> 00:24:40,379 I know. Oh, wait, did Kev tell you? 513 00:24:40,412 --> 00:24:42,448 -Tell me what? -About going to the cabin for Fourth of July? 514 00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:44,784 We're gonna have a big blowout. 515 00:24:44,817 --> 00:24:47,019 -Ah... -Ethan said he'd watch the girls, so, you know, 516 00:24:47,053 --> 00:24:49,188 I thought we'd have a Big Three soiree? 517 00:24:49,221 --> 00:24:53,025 No, that sounds great. Um, but with schedules and... 518 00:24:53,059 --> 00:24:55,027 I don't know, let me think about it, yeah? 519 00:24:55,061 --> 00:24:57,229 All right. 520 00:24:57,263 --> 00:24:59,231 -Okay. -Just let him think about it. 521 00:24:59,265 --> 00:25:02,001 -Kev... -What's wrong with saying I'll think about it? 522 00:25:02,034 --> 00:25:04,036 Nothing. Nothing. You do it all the time. 523 00:25:04,070 --> 00:25:06,305 You think about it and then you never show up. (chuckles) 524 00:25:06,338 --> 00:25:08,875 -Mm-hmm. -I'm-I'm curious, like, why did you even bother coming today? 525 00:25:08,908 --> 00:25:10,843 -'Cause Dad asked me to. Yeah. -Uh, Dad asked you to? Oh, well, glad you came. 526 00:25:10,877 --> 00:25:13,012 -Thank you for gracing us with your presence. -KATE: Guys. 527 00:25:13,045 --> 00:25:14,413 -KEVIN: Thanks, Randall. It's been wonderful. -Guys. 528 00:25:14,446 --> 00:25:16,415 -I'm not talking about... -REBECCA: Hey, boys? 529 00:25:16,448 --> 00:25:18,417 Whatever you're talking about can probably wait 530 00:25:18,450 --> 00:25:20,720 until our guests leave. 531 00:25:20,753 --> 00:25:22,421 Yeah. 532 00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,757 Hi, Randall. 533 00:25:24,791 --> 00:25:26,258 -Hey, Mom. -Hi. 534 00:25:27,459 --> 00:25:29,328 You know, I was just about to leave, anyway. 535 00:25:29,361 --> 00:25:31,363 I got a lecture in the morning, so... 536 00:25:31,397 --> 00:25:33,365 KEVIN: Right. 537 00:25:38,571 --> 00:25:40,573 (exhales) 538 00:25:48,380 --> 00:25:50,416 (grunts) 539 00:26:16,275 --> 00:26:19,011 * 540 00:26:48,540 --> 00:26:50,509 * 541 00:26:50,542 --> 00:26:51,778 (door opens) 542 00:27:08,294 --> 00:27:10,629 -Ah. -(laughs) 543 00:27:10,663 --> 00:27:12,832 So, lesson plans are on your nightstand. 544 00:27:12,865 --> 00:27:15,467 -Mm-hmm. -And I've uploaded the fall semester grades. 545 00:27:15,501 --> 00:27:17,369 -You're the best. -Mm-hmm. 546 00:27:18,570 --> 00:27:19,806 -Mm. -(phone buzzing) 547 00:27:22,041 --> 00:27:23,209 (sniffles) 548 00:27:23,242 --> 00:27:25,044 Hey, Dad. 549 00:27:25,077 --> 00:27:27,313 JACK: Hey, son. Catch you at a bad time? 550 00:27:27,346 --> 00:27:29,648 No. Just got in from a run. 551 00:27:29,682 --> 00:27:32,551 I don't have a lecture till noon. What's up? 552 00:27:33,585 --> 00:27:37,990 Well... Thanksgiving is next week. 553 00:27:38,024 --> 00:27:41,193 I was hoping you'd come home. 554 00:27:41,227 --> 00:27:44,496 -Dad. -You're just-- y-you're so far away. 555 00:27:44,530 --> 00:27:49,201 You should be with your family for the holiday. 556 00:27:51,871 --> 00:27:53,505 Randall, 557 00:27:53,539 --> 00:27:55,708 it's been a long time. 558 00:27:55,742 --> 00:28:00,913 You're gonna have to forgive her at some point, son. 559 00:28:01,948 --> 00:28:05,551 She's not well, Randall. 560 00:28:05,584 --> 00:28:08,654 Not well? What do you mean? 561 00:28:08,687 --> 00:28:10,489 A few months ago, 562 00:28:10,522 --> 00:28:15,762 I started to notice things-- just little things. 563 00:28:15,795 --> 00:28:20,199 She'd forget where she put her keys or her phone. 564 00:28:20,232 --> 00:28:22,334 (fading): She couldn't remember the name of a movie 565 00:28:22,368 --> 00:28:24,203 that we had just seen... 566 00:28:51,330 --> 00:28:53,332 * 567 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:00,706 I'm done. 568 00:29:00,739 --> 00:29:03,776 I don't want to do this anymore. 569 00:29:10,616 --> 00:29:12,451 I mean, what exactly are we doing here? 570 00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:14,653 What is the point of this exercise? 571 00:29:14,686 --> 00:29:18,490 I need you to acknowledge that even if your father had lived, 572 00:29:18,524 --> 00:29:20,993 that every moment in your life after that 573 00:29:21,027 --> 00:29:22,628 could have gone a million different ways. 574 00:29:22,661 --> 00:29:25,564 -I'm aware of that. -You're aware that you don't 575 00:29:25,597 --> 00:29:28,835 control the outcomes of every situation in your life? 576 00:29:28,868 --> 00:29:30,837 Yes. 577 00:29:30,870 --> 00:29:34,273 In your fantasy, you were the one 578 00:29:34,306 --> 00:29:37,309 who stopped your father from going back in the house. 579 00:29:37,343 --> 00:29:40,446 Why are you so sure you could've stopped him? 580 00:29:40,479 --> 00:29:43,249 Dad, if you go back in that house, so help me, God, 581 00:29:43,282 --> 00:29:45,784 I'll go through that front door and get you myself! 582 00:29:49,989 --> 00:29:52,825 (Louie barking) 583 00:29:52,859 --> 00:29:54,326 Just stay there, I'll be right back! 584 00:29:54,360 --> 00:29:56,362 Jack! Jack! 585 00:29:56,395 --> 00:29:58,464 ADULT RANDALL: But it wasn't the fire that killed him. 586 00:29:58,497 --> 00:30:00,532 It was his heart. 587 00:30:00,566 --> 00:30:02,268 I could've gone to the hospital with him. 588 00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:04,971 I should've been there. 589 00:30:08,807 --> 00:30:10,442 (exhales) 590 00:30:10,476 --> 00:30:13,145 I'm gonna try and go find a pay phone and call Kate, 591 00:30:13,179 --> 00:30:15,014 -see if they've found Kevin. -Okay. 592 00:30:15,047 --> 00:30:16,682 Okay. 593 00:30:20,652 --> 00:30:22,654 (chuckles) 594 00:30:22,688 --> 00:30:24,690 (exhales) 595 00:30:25,892 --> 00:30:27,159 JACK: I can't believe 596 00:30:27,193 --> 00:30:29,728 the Broncos won the... 597 00:30:29,761 --> 00:30:30,997 (grunts softly) 598 00:30:32,698 --> 00:30:34,333 Dad? You... 599 00:30:34,366 --> 00:30:36,468 -(grunts) Something's wrong. -(monitor beeping rapidly) 600 00:30:36,502 --> 00:30:38,170 Something's not right. 601 00:30:38,204 --> 00:30:42,508 You said he had a widowmaker heart attack, right? 602 00:30:42,541 --> 00:30:44,510 That's right. 603 00:30:44,543 --> 00:30:46,512 So, even if you were there, 604 00:30:46,545 --> 00:30:48,580 you might not have been able to save him. 605 00:30:48,614 --> 00:30:51,083 Unless you're gonna tell me that, as a 17-year-old, 606 00:30:51,117 --> 00:30:54,020 you were trained in emergency cardiac resuscitation. 607 00:30:54,053 --> 00:30:56,022 I don't know, damn it, but I could've done something. 608 00:30:56,055 --> 00:30:58,590 That's what I do. I fix things. 609 00:30:58,624 --> 00:31:00,726 -You couldn't fix this. -Yeah, well at least I could've spent 610 00:31:00,759 --> 00:31:03,162 the last 20 years knowing that I tried. 611 00:31:03,195 --> 00:31:05,164 (sniffles) 612 00:31:05,197 --> 00:31:06,765 LEIGH: So, 613 00:31:06,798 --> 00:31:08,667 so you think that would've made a difference 614 00:31:08,700 --> 00:31:11,437 in how you processed his death? 615 00:31:11,470 --> 00:31:13,272 Knowing that you tried to save him? 616 00:31:13,305 --> 00:31:15,307 Yes! 617 00:31:16,808 --> 00:31:18,945 Why do you think that? 618 00:31:20,879 --> 00:31:23,049 Because I tried with William. 619 00:31:23,082 --> 00:31:26,685 And when it became clear to me that it was hurting 620 00:31:26,718 --> 00:31:31,023 more than it was helping, I was okay letting him choose to stop. 621 00:31:31,057 --> 00:31:32,824 Because we had tried. 622 00:31:36,262 --> 00:31:38,264 Okay. 623 00:31:39,298 --> 00:31:40,599 What? 624 00:31:40,632 --> 00:31:43,402 -Nothing, I said okay. -Mm-mm. 625 00:31:43,435 --> 00:31:46,772 Mm-mm. No, you don't think it's the same, right? 626 00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:49,241 But you don't think it's the same because I knew my dad 627 00:31:49,275 --> 00:31:51,743 my whole life and I knew William for less than a year, 628 00:31:51,777 --> 00:31:53,545 so the bond was different. 629 00:31:53,579 --> 00:31:56,548 Obviously it was easier for me to make peace with his death? 630 00:31:56,582 --> 00:31:58,917 Is that what you think? 631 00:31:58,951 --> 00:32:02,121 I-I think I lost two fathers. 632 00:32:02,154 --> 00:32:04,256 And I think if I'd had it my way, 633 00:32:04,290 --> 00:32:07,559 obviously I wouldn't have lost either one of them. 634 00:32:07,593 --> 00:32:09,828 So to answer your first question, yes, 635 00:32:09,861 --> 00:32:13,232 I'm fully aware that I'm just a-a cute little pawn 636 00:32:13,265 --> 00:32:15,834 on the universe's big giant chess board. 637 00:32:15,867 --> 00:32:17,269 I don't need an exercise 638 00:32:17,303 --> 00:32:19,338 from some overpriced therapist in cheap shoes 639 00:32:19,371 --> 00:32:20,839 to prove it to me. 640 00:32:24,176 --> 00:32:26,478 That was uncalled for. 641 00:32:26,512 --> 00:32:28,147 Sorry. 642 00:32:28,180 --> 00:32:30,849 Oh, please, I live for this stuff. 643 00:32:34,220 --> 00:32:36,588 It's interesting, Randall, 644 00:32:36,622 --> 00:32:38,857 how you see this entirely as 645 00:32:38,890 --> 00:32:41,260 an exercise about losing your father. 646 00:32:41,293 --> 00:32:43,129 Your fathers. Plural fathers. 647 00:32:43,162 --> 00:32:44,930 I don't follow. 648 00:32:44,963 --> 00:32:50,202 Actually, this whole exercise began because of a disagreement 649 00:32:50,236 --> 00:32:55,941 that you had with your brother over your mother's care. 650 00:32:55,974 --> 00:33:00,712 If you think about it, your life has really been defined 651 00:33:00,746 --> 00:33:02,948 by your mothers, hasn't it? 652 00:33:02,981 --> 00:33:05,351 The mother you lost at birth, 653 00:33:05,384 --> 00:33:07,853 who is barely a footnote in your story, 654 00:33:07,886 --> 00:33:11,890 -and the mother who lied to you for 36 years. -All right, look. 655 00:33:11,923 --> 00:33:15,394 William told me everything he knew about my birth mother. 656 00:33:15,427 --> 00:33:18,964 It was a romance that was sweet for a time, 657 00:33:18,997 --> 00:33:21,867 but it was short-lived and drug-addled. 658 00:33:21,900 --> 00:33:25,003 I'll never know much about her, 659 00:33:25,037 --> 00:33:28,840 I've accepted that long ago. 660 00:33:28,874 --> 00:33:31,343 As for my mother Rebecca... 661 00:33:33,379 --> 00:33:36,582 ...yeah, she lied to me. 662 00:33:36,615 --> 00:33:38,584 But I forgave her for that. 663 00:33:38,617 --> 00:33:41,587 And we've moved on. I've accepted that, too. 664 00:33:43,222 --> 00:33:44,190 LEIGH: Have you? 665 00:33:44,223 --> 00:33:45,591 Absolutely. 666 00:33:45,624 --> 00:33:47,359 It's behind us. 667 00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:49,995 It's... 668 00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:52,198 It's curious, though, 669 00:33:52,231 --> 00:33:56,235 that in both your scenarios of how your life 670 00:33:56,268 --> 00:33:59,037 would've played out if your father had lived... 671 00:33:59,071 --> 00:34:01,940 the first thing that happens after you save him, 672 00:34:01,973 --> 00:34:03,842 the first thing, 673 00:34:03,875 --> 00:34:06,978 is your mother tells the truth about William. 674 00:34:14,153 --> 00:34:17,022 Why do you think you're here in my office right now? 675 00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:18,290 I know, I know, 676 00:34:18,324 --> 00:34:20,459 because everybody who comes to therapy 677 00:34:20,492 --> 00:34:22,928 has these deep-seated mommy issues, right? 678 00:34:22,961 --> 00:34:26,031 I didn't say therapy. I said my office. 679 00:34:26,064 --> 00:34:27,466 My office. 680 00:34:28,667 --> 00:34:30,636 Do you know how many black men 681 00:34:30,669 --> 00:34:34,273 who can choose whatever therapist they want choose me? 682 00:34:34,306 --> 00:34:36,942 It's a very low number. 683 00:34:36,975 --> 00:34:39,578 You were highly recommended. 684 00:34:40,612 --> 00:34:43,382 Your mother and I are the same gender, 685 00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:44,783 we're the same race, 686 00:34:44,816 --> 00:34:49,255 I'm probably around the same age she was when your father died. 687 00:34:49,288 --> 00:34:51,157 Another therapist-- 688 00:34:51,190 --> 00:34:54,226 a good one, not an overpriced hack like me-- 689 00:34:54,260 --> 00:34:57,629 might say you're looking for someone like your mother 690 00:34:57,663 --> 00:35:00,999 to help you process her. 691 00:35:01,032 --> 00:35:02,901 What she's done. 692 00:35:02,934 --> 00:35:05,171 Her illness. 693 00:35:12,043 --> 00:35:14,180 I'm not a neurologist, Randall, 694 00:35:14,213 --> 00:35:16,282 and I don't know your mother's condition. 695 00:35:16,315 --> 00:35:19,318 But I'm pretty sure you don't have all the time in the world 696 00:35:19,351 --> 00:35:23,489 to heal from the wounds that you have from her. 697 00:35:25,824 --> 00:35:27,293 So, what are you saying? 698 00:35:27,326 --> 00:35:31,697 (sniffles) What is the exact advice that you're giving me? 699 00:35:31,730 --> 00:35:33,632 I'm a therapist. 700 00:35:33,665 --> 00:35:35,334 I don't give advice. 701 00:35:35,367 --> 00:35:39,971 I offer observations and I pose questions. 702 00:35:40,005 --> 00:35:42,341 Observation. 703 00:35:42,374 --> 00:35:45,844 Even in the worst version of your life, 704 00:35:45,877 --> 00:35:48,347 you still protect your mother, 705 00:35:48,380 --> 00:35:50,816 you still redeem her in the end. 706 00:35:52,083 --> 00:35:54,286 Question. 707 00:35:54,320 --> 00:35:57,989 Have you ever really confronted your mother 708 00:35:58,023 --> 00:36:01,059 about what she did to you? 709 00:36:01,092 --> 00:36:03,395 About what she kept from you? 710 00:36:14,005 --> 00:36:15,407 Hey. 711 00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:19,645 It took six episodes, but it finally makes sense. 712 00:36:19,678 --> 00:36:21,880 -And, baby... -Huh? 713 00:36:21,913 --> 00:36:23,882 I might be leaving you for Yahya. 714 00:36:23,915 --> 00:36:27,719 Ah... I thought we was gonna binge Watchmen together. 715 00:36:27,753 --> 00:36:30,188 You okay? 716 00:36:30,222 --> 00:36:31,923 You look exhausted. 717 00:36:33,359 --> 00:36:38,096 Turns out I'm still holding on to some residual resentments 718 00:36:38,129 --> 00:36:40,499 about my mom keeping William from me. 719 00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,668 Well, hell, I could've told you that. 720 00:36:42,701 --> 00:36:45,504 -How much we paying this lady? -Mm-hmm. 721 00:36:45,537 --> 00:36:46,872 (laughs) 722 00:36:46,905 --> 00:36:48,907 * 723 00:37:03,255 --> 00:37:05,924 What was that for? 724 00:37:05,957 --> 00:37:08,827 I am very proud of you. 725 00:37:15,434 --> 00:37:16,702 -TOBY: Okay. -KEVIN: Okay. 726 00:37:16,735 --> 00:37:18,737 -All right. -Here we go. 727 00:37:20,005 --> 00:37:23,475 Uh... half of a square? 728 00:37:23,509 --> 00:37:26,044 I'm gonna need more than that. That's-- that's nothing. 729 00:37:26,077 --> 00:37:28,747 It's, uh... it's the train tracks from, 730 00:37:28,780 --> 00:37:30,215 -uh... (stammers) it's... -(exasperated sigh) 731 00:37:30,248 --> 00:37:31,950 -TOBY: How do you...? -KEVIN: What is it?! 732 00:37:31,983 --> 00:37:33,719 It's Mission to Mars. Mission... Mission to Mars. 733 00:37:33,752 --> 00:37:35,754 Of course, obviously, yeah, it's Mission to Mars. 734 00:37:35,787 --> 00:37:37,623 -MIGUEL: It looks like an 11. -There's no mission, there's no Mars. 735 00:37:37,656 --> 00:37:40,125 My turn, but you're gonna go for me, because my phone's ringing. 736 00:37:40,158 --> 00:37:41,893 -Okay? Do me proud. -Okay. 737 00:37:41,927 --> 00:37:43,895 I will definitely do better than Toby's impressionistic 738 00:37:43,929 --> 00:37:45,096 -spaceship. -(stammers) Clearly, it's a r-- 739 00:37:45,130 --> 00:37:46,498 it's a rocket ship going up into... 740 00:37:46,532 --> 00:37:48,434 You know what? I would kill it on Fallon, I don't care what... 741 00:37:48,467 --> 00:37:50,068 Hi, sweetheart. 742 00:37:50,101 --> 00:37:51,803 RANDALL: Hey, Mom. 743 00:37:51,837 --> 00:37:53,805 Wow, it's late out there. 744 00:37:53,839 --> 00:37:55,841 Is everything okay with Beth and the girls? 745 00:37:55,874 --> 00:37:57,443 Yeah, yeah, they're fine. 746 00:37:57,476 --> 00:37:58,477 Asleep. 747 00:37:58,510 --> 00:38:01,079 Was just calling to talk. 748 00:38:01,112 --> 00:38:03,449 Haven't really done that since New York. 749 00:38:03,482 --> 00:38:04,616 Yeah. 750 00:38:04,650 --> 00:38:06,752 I know. How are you? 751 00:38:06,785 --> 00:38:08,787 I'm good. 752 00:38:08,820 --> 00:38:12,791 I just, uh, have been thinking a lot about your decision. 753 00:38:12,824 --> 00:38:15,361 Oh, Randall, come on, sweetheart, 754 00:38:15,394 --> 00:38:17,028 I thought we had put that to bed. 755 00:38:17,062 --> 00:38:18,497 I told you, 756 00:38:18,530 --> 00:38:20,832 I have no interest in being away from the family. 757 00:38:20,866 --> 00:38:24,670 Okay? I-I respect the fact that you're passionate about it, 758 00:38:24,703 --> 00:38:25,937 but I really don't want to talk 759 00:38:25,971 --> 00:38:27,339 about the clinical trial anymore. 760 00:38:28,840 --> 00:38:30,809 RANDALL: Dr. Leigh, 761 00:38:30,842 --> 00:38:34,880 everything you've said makes sense. 762 00:38:36,382 --> 00:38:39,117 And I've probably known about it all for a while 763 00:38:39,150 --> 00:38:42,354 but haven't been able to... 764 00:38:42,388 --> 00:38:44,255 find it. 765 00:38:45,691 --> 00:38:48,627 I'm grateful to you for your help today. 766 00:38:48,660 --> 00:38:50,228 Mom, 767 00:38:50,261 --> 00:38:52,998 I've been a good son. 768 00:38:53,031 --> 00:38:55,501 And I never say stuff like that, 769 00:38:55,534 --> 00:38:58,570 but I know that I have been. 770 00:38:58,604 --> 00:39:00,839 After Dad died, 771 00:39:00,872 --> 00:39:02,741 I stayed at home. 772 00:39:02,774 --> 00:39:04,910 I took care of you. 773 00:39:04,943 --> 00:39:07,913 I have been a good son. 774 00:39:08,947 --> 00:39:10,081 I know you have. 775 00:39:10,115 --> 00:39:11,917 You've-you've always been. 776 00:39:12,951 --> 00:39:15,921 And I've let things go, Mom. 777 00:39:15,954 --> 00:39:17,355 (exhales) 778 00:39:17,389 --> 00:39:18,924 Things... 779 00:39:18,957 --> 00:39:21,927 that were kept from me. 780 00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:24,029 Things that I should have resented you for, 781 00:39:24,062 --> 00:39:25,597 but I never did, 782 00:39:25,631 --> 00:39:29,701 because I knew that it would be painful for you. 783 00:39:29,735 --> 00:39:32,137 So I didn't. 784 00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:35,373 I know. 785 00:39:35,407 --> 00:39:37,909 RANDALL: I lost my father, 786 00:39:37,943 --> 00:39:41,246 and I couldn't stop it. 787 00:39:41,279 --> 00:39:43,248 I lost a second father, 788 00:39:43,281 --> 00:39:46,251 and I couldn't fix that either. 789 00:39:46,284 --> 00:39:49,688 And now my mother is sick, 790 00:39:49,721 --> 00:39:51,590 and there are options. 791 00:39:51,623 --> 00:39:55,026 I have never asked you for anything, Mom. 792 00:39:55,060 --> 00:39:57,028 Not in my entire life. 793 00:39:57,062 --> 00:39:59,230 I've never asked you for anything. 794 00:39:59,264 --> 00:40:03,769 But I'm gonna ask you for something now. 795 00:40:03,802 --> 00:40:08,440 Mom, you have to do this clinical trial. 796 00:40:08,474 --> 00:40:11,042 And I know you don't want to, 797 00:40:11,076 --> 00:40:12,944 but you have to. 798 00:40:12,978 --> 00:40:15,947 (inhales sharply) 'Cause I don't want to be in a therapy session 799 00:40:15,981 --> 00:40:19,150 20 years from now, playing out scenarios, 800 00:40:19,184 --> 00:40:20,752 wishing that I had pushed harder, 801 00:40:20,786 --> 00:40:22,153 wishing that I had done more, 802 00:40:22,187 --> 00:40:23,589 'cause, maybe if I had, 803 00:40:23,622 --> 00:40:25,691 you would still be alive. 804 00:40:27,025 --> 00:40:29,995 I can't live with that, 805 00:40:30,028 --> 00:40:32,998 even if you can. 806 00:40:33,031 --> 00:40:34,299 I will come to therapy 807 00:40:34,332 --> 00:40:35,967 to work this through. 808 00:40:36,001 --> 00:40:39,004 I won't take it on alone. 809 00:40:40,005 --> 00:40:42,307 But I will not... 810 00:40:42,340 --> 00:40:47,145 relitigate what my mother did to me with William. 811 00:40:47,178 --> 00:40:50,582 I won't reopen that wound for her. 812 00:40:50,616 --> 00:40:53,819 I understand you think that hashing it out 813 00:40:53,852 --> 00:40:56,154 will bring me some kind of peace. 814 00:40:56,187 --> 00:40:58,256 Maybe you're right. I... (exhales) 815 00:40:58,289 --> 00:41:00,458 I don't know. 816 00:41:01,860 --> 00:41:06,164 But I've already lost three parents. 817 00:41:06,197 --> 00:41:10,636 I know that losing my mother would break me. 818 00:41:12,403 --> 00:41:14,873 I can't lose her. 819 00:41:14,906 --> 00:41:16,708 (exhales) 820 00:41:16,742 --> 00:41:21,412 I will do anything to keep that from happening. 821 00:41:22,413 --> 00:41:23,982 I'll do whatever 822 00:41:24,015 --> 00:41:25,817 it takes. 823 00:41:25,851 --> 00:41:27,819 I've been a good son, Mom. 824 00:41:27,853 --> 00:41:29,888 I've been a good son, 825 00:41:29,921 --> 00:41:31,990 and I've never asked you for anything. 826 00:41:32,023 --> 00:41:33,024 But I am 827 00:41:33,058 --> 00:41:36,394 asking you for this now. 828 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:39,898 And I need you to say it. 829 00:41:40,999 --> 00:41:43,969 You are going to St. Louis. 830 00:41:44,002 --> 00:41:47,505 You are going to do this clinical trial. 831 00:41:49,040 --> 00:41:52,711 * 832 00:41:55,747 --> 00:41:58,183 (shuddering) 833 00:42:05,256 --> 00:42:06,491 (whispers): Okay. 834 00:42:06,524 --> 00:42:08,326 (shudders) 835 00:42:08,359 --> 00:42:12,864 I will go to St. Louis, and I will do the trial. 836 00:42:59,978 --> 00:43:02,513 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 55927

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