Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:03,916
Just come, Nick. Why not?
2
00:00:03,960 --> 00:00:06,180
Angie and I are not
romantic weekend types.
3
00:00:06,223 --> 00:00:08,704
Sounds like you need
some fresh air in a cabin
4
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,488
[blows raspberry]You're dating a stripper.
5
00:00:10,532 --> 00:00:12,055
I'm dating a tall,
handsome doctor.
6
00:00:12,099 --> 00:00:14,275
We're both kind
of living the dream.
7
00:00:14,318 --> 00:00:15,276
We're not "dating."
8
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,233
What Angie and I have together
9
00:00:16,277 --> 00:00:18,148
is pure anarchy
10
00:00:18,192 --> 00:00:20,063
in like, a sexy, cool way.
11
00:00:20,107 --> 00:00:22,065
Oh, yeah?Look at what she did
while I was sleeping.
12
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:23,414
Look at how cool that is.
13
00:00:23,458 --> 00:00:25,199
She doodled on your armpit?
14
00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,157
It's not a doodle, it's a tat.Of poodle hair?
15
00:00:27,201 --> 00:00:28,724
It's not poodle hair.
It's like the, uh...
16
00:00:28,767 --> 00:00:31,205
Anyway, no to the cabin.
17
00:00:31,248 --> 00:00:33,294
All right.And why do you want us to come
18
00:00:33,337 --> 00:00:34,773
on your romantic weekend anyhow?
19
00:00:34,817 --> 00:00:36,297
I thought it was just supposed
to be you and the doctor.
20
00:00:36,340 --> 00:00:38,081
Okay, I'm a little nervous.
21
00:00:38,125 --> 00:00:39,213
I just need backup.
22
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:40,431
I want this weekend to be fun
23
00:00:40,475 --> 00:00:42,781
and perfect
24
00:00:42,825 --> 00:00:45,523
and lovely, and I want him
to look at me at the end and go,
25
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:48,091
"Jess, that was the best weekend
I ever had."
26
00:00:48,135 --> 00:00:50,137
I'm glad you're keeping
your expectations at
a reasonable level.
27
00:00:50,180 --> 00:00:51,790
Come on, it'll be fun.
28
00:00:51,834 --> 00:00:53,227
Roast marshmallows,
Yeah.
29
00:00:53,270 --> 00:00:55,272
make a fire,
Oh, yeah.
30
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,143
and sleep on a bear rug.
31
00:00:56,186 --> 00:00:58,275
You in?
Ooh, no.
32
00:00:58,319 --> 00:00:59,798
Jess, I'm sorry.
We're not going
33
00:00:59,842 --> 00:01:01,104
this weekend.All right.
34
00:01:01,148 --> 00:01:02,149
But it's free.
35
00:01:02,192 --> 00:01:03,280
You say free?
Yep.
36
00:01:03,324 --> 00:01:04,586
Yeah, we're 100% in.
37
00:01:04,629 --> 00:01:06,109
I'll go pack now.
Okay.
38
00:01:06,153 --> 00:01:08,155
♪ Who's that girl?
39
00:01:08,198 --> 00:01:10,287
♪ Who's that girl?♪♪ It's Jess.
40
00:01:13,247 --> 00:01:14,291
[whistles]
41
00:01:16,163 --> 00:01:17,947
Oh, wait, wait, wait,
keep this in mind, right?
42
00:01:17,990 --> 00:01:19,688
Now, I have a spatula in
my hand the entire time,
43
00:01:19,731 --> 00:01:22,125
and I'm looking her directly
in the eye, and I say,
44
00:01:22,169 --> 00:01:23,300
"You're damn right
I want some cake."
45
00:01:23,344 --> 00:01:25,172
[laughter]Kind of weird.
46
00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:26,825
Hey, what's up?
Guys, this is Schmidt.
47
00:01:26,869 --> 00:01:27,826
SCHMIDT:
Hey.
48
00:01:27,870 --> 00:01:29,045
Ready to go?
49
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,307
Yeah, no, let's do it.
50
00:01:30,351 --> 00:01:31,308
It's nice meeting you all.
51
00:01:31,352 --> 00:01:33,484
Hey, uh, Winston,
52
00:01:33,528 --> 00:01:35,312
who are those guys?
53
00:01:35,356 --> 00:01:36,922
I don't know, I just met them
on the way to the bathroom.
54
00:01:36,966 --> 00:01:38,315
But you were so light
and charming.
55
00:01:38,359 --> 00:01:39,316
You were like Pixar Winston.
56
00:01:39,360 --> 00:01:40,839
Yeah, we were
just chilling, man,
57
00:01:40,883 --> 00:01:42,319
just having a conversation.
58
00:01:42,363 --> 00:01:43,320
We can stay, if you want.
59
00:01:43,364 --> 00:01:44,147
No, Schmidt,
I don't want to stay.
60
00:01:44,191 --> 00:01:45,627
I want to eat.
61
00:01:45,670 --> 00:01:47,629
Come on, man.
62
00:01:50,327 --> 00:01:52,329
White Nick, brown Cece.
63
00:01:52,373 --> 00:01:54,853
I'd like to have
a frank discussion about race.
64
00:01:54,897 --> 00:01:56,551
[groans]Do you think that we're
65
00:01:56,594 --> 00:01:58,640
allowing Winston
to be his blackest self?
66
00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,990
I'm not gonna do this.Okay, make sure Jess
gets these, okay?
67
00:02:01,033 --> 00:02:02,034
Guys, please, I'm being serious.
68
00:02:02,078 --> 00:02:03,210
Okay, Schmidty,
69
00:02:03,253 --> 00:02:04,559
I know that you're
being serious,
70
00:02:04,602 --> 00:02:08,171
but look, Winston has been black
his entire life.
71
00:02:08,215 --> 00:02:09,825
I think he knows how
to handle it.
72
00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:11,305
We were out
the other night for drinks,
73
00:02:11,348 --> 00:02:15,309
and well, he encountered
some members of his own,
74
00:02:15,352 --> 00:02:17,224
and you should have seen
the way that he lit up.
75
00:02:17,267 --> 00:02:20,183
I mean, he was like
a glow stick.
76
00:02:20,227 --> 00:02:22,272
This is terrible.Whatever you were gonna
do, please do not.
77
00:02:22,316 --> 00:02:23,969
Just don't do it.I want to create
78
00:02:24,013 --> 00:02:26,233
an environment within this loft
where Winston feels free,
79
00:02:26,276 --> 00:02:28,235
where the gates are open.
Let's let Winston
80
00:02:28,278 --> 00:02:30,628
turn on his-his black switch
81
00:02:30,672 --> 00:02:32,848
and let his black light shine.
82
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:35,807
JESS:
This is perfect.
83
00:02:35,851 --> 00:02:37,853
Yes, it is a weekend
in the woods.
84
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,594
I'm just glad that we get
to spend some time together.
85
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:40,725
Yeah.
86
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:44,381
Hey.
87
00:02:44,425 --> 00:02:45,339
Yeah!
88
00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,905
Oh, look, it's Jackie O.
89
00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:48,907
Me? All right, thanks.Yeah, you.
90
00:02:48,951 --> 00:02:51,345
Sorry we're late. I had to stop
and buy this bitch-ass a helmet.
91
00:02:51,388 --> 00:02:53,216
because he wouldn't
stop being a bitch-ass.
92
00:02:53,260 --> 00:02:54,913
The helmet we got
at a rest stop,
93
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,350
the shades are mine.
94
00:02:56,393 --> 00:02:57,351
[laughter]Yeah.
95
00:02:57,394 --> 00:02:59,614
Free cabin! Whoo!
96
00:02:59,657 --> 00:03:01,224
It's actually
my boss's cabin.
97
00:03:01,268 --> 00:03:04,140
That's great! Whoo!Yeah! USA, USA!
98
00:03:05,881 --> 00:03:08,362
Indian food, dinner? You down?
99
00:03:08,405 --> 00:03:09,841
I thought maybe
we'd eat at a place
100
00:03:09,885 --> 00:03:11,582
where you wanted to eat
at tonight, Winston.
101
00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:14,455
As a strong black man.
102
00:03:14,498 --> 00:03:15,847
What?
What are you talking about?
103
00:03:15,891 --> 00:03:17,414
Hey, man, I get it.
104
00:03:17,458 --> 00:03:19,024
There are just some nights
where I'm dying
105
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:20,461
for my zadie's egg salad,
106
00:03:20,504 --> 00:03:23,246
pastrami piled a mile high,
107
00:03:23,290 --> 00:03:25,335
some matzo, kreplach...
108
00:03:25,379 --> 00:03:27,163
Let's eat some soul food.
109
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,817
Schmidt, I want Indian,
southern Indian.
110
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,210
Also, I got you something.
111
00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:39,262
Jah rastafari.Take this damn
thing off my head.
112
00:03:39,306 --> 00:03:41,743
Okay, I'm sorry.
You're right.
113
00:03:41,786 --> 00:03:43,440
Forget the hat.
Just, I made a mistake.
114
00:03:43,484 --> 00:03:44,441
I just...
115
00:03:44,485 --> 00:03:45,703
[sighs]
116
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:47,401
Winston, tonight is about you.
117
00:03:47,444 --> 00:03:49,881
I want to be the black friend
that you never had.
118
00:03:49,925 --> 00:03:51,448
I have black friends, Schmidt.
119
00:03:51,492 --> 00:03:52,319
I want you to feel supported.
120
00:03:52,362 --> 00:03:54,321
I want you to be able
to do
121
00:03:54,364 --> 00:03:56,236
the things that you don't feel
like I understand.
122
00:03:59,021 --> 00:04:01,066
Okay. So that means
you're gonna do
123
00:04:01,110 --> 00:04:03,895
whatever I say?
I mean,
as long as it's gangster.
124
00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:05,941
Or not. It doesn't have
to be gangster.Well, Schmidt,
125
00:04:05,984 --> 00:04:08,073
I want to say thank you
for allowing me to be me
126
00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,292
and I look forward to sharing
127
00:04:09,336 --> 00:04:10,511
my people's culture
with you tonight.
128
00:04:12,774 --> 00:04:15,298
I've never played
sexy Boggle before.
129
00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:18,997
I'm gonna get into that later.
130
00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:20,085
Ow-ooh!
131
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,174
Oops. Okay.
132
00:04:22,218 --> 00:04:23,480
Hey, guys.
133
00:04:23,524 --> 00:04:26,178
Sorry, we were just unpacking.
134
00:04:26,222 --> 00:04:28,398
We could hear very clearly.
Very clearly.
135
00:04:28,442 --> 00:04:29,747
Hey, you got
a high-pitched scream, man.
136
00:04:29,791 --> 00:04:31,401
Yeah, I do.
137
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:33,447
So, you guys, we are
playing best of 35,
138
00:04:33,490 --> 00:04:35,579
um, 'cause I thought you guys
139
00:04:35,623 --> 00:04:36,928
were gonna hang out with us.
140
00:04:36,972 --> 00:04:38,887
Oh.
SAM:
Oh, Angie,
141
00:04:38,930 --> 00:04:40,410
this is my boss's cabin.
142
00:04:40,454 --> 00:04:41,455
[yelling]
143
00:04:41,498 --> 00:04:43,152
Oh! This is it!
144
00:04:43,195 --> 00:04:45,154
Where were these
when we were having sex?
145
00:04:45,197 --> 00:04:47,417
That's how I feel. What?
146
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:48,549
Let's go shoot things.Yeah.
147
00:04:48,592 --> 00:04:50,464
Okay.Not scared.
148
00:04:50,507 --> 00:04:53,554
Just be careful, please.Good, yep.
149
00:04:53,597 --> 00:04:54,555
[outside, yelling happily][muffled]: Yeah!
150
00:04:54,598 --> 00:04:56,252
All right, well...
[clears throat]
151
00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,341
That's all right.
Sam,
are you having fun?
152
00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,561
'Cause I really, really
want you to have fun.
153
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:02,432
Course I am.
I'm here with you.
Good.
154
00:05:02,476 --> 00:05:03,390
You know?
Okay, good.
155
00:05:03,433 --> 00:05:04,478
[gunshot]Drink hot cocoa.
156
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,435
It's not much fun
157
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:06,523
without someone firing back.
158
00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:09,439
You're amazing!
159
00:05:09,483 --> 00:05:11,354
ANGIE:
Wow!
160
00:05:11,398 --> 00:05:12,616
That is not safe.
161
00:05:12,660 --> 00:05:15,619
[gunfire continues]That is really reckless.
162
00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:19,057
You want to shoot guns,
don't you?
163
00:05:19,101 --> 00:05:20,624
[gunfire continues]
164
00:05:20,668 --> 00:05:22,452
Go on.
165
00:05:22,496 --> 00:05:24,541
Guys, guys!
Save a bullet!
166
00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:30,025
Could be a little bit closer.
167
00:05:33,463 --> 00:05:35,291
Got to be kidding me.
168
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,466
How do you keep missing?
169
00:05:36,510 --> 00:05:38,555
Come on!
170
00:05:38,599 --> 00:05:39,556
Hey, guys.Hey.
171
00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,558
Hey.No gun safety for us, right?
172
00:05:41,602 --> 00:05:43,473
Want to shoot?No, no, no, do not
173
00:05:43,517 --> 00:05:45,432
give her a gun. She cannot
handle having a gun, trust me.
174
00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:48,522
All right, you know what,
yeah, give me the boom stick.
175
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:50,306
The what?It's not called a boom stick.
It's a rifle. So...
176
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,568
What? Give me the rifle.
177
00:05:51,612 --> 00:05:52,569
Oh, right.
178
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,530
Whoa, yeah, you know what?
179
00:05:56,573 --> 00:05:58,270
I feel powerful.
180
00:05:58,314 --> 00:05:59,576
Whoa! Come on now!
181
00:05:59,620 --> 00:06:00,664
Come on! Hey!
182
00:06:00,708 --> 00:06:01,796
Okay, all right.
183
00:06:01,839 --> 00:06:03,406
Nobody better piss me off.Hey! Jess!
184
00:06:03,450 --> 00:06:04,581
Hey!Jess, thanks.
185
00:06:04,625 --> 00:06:05,800
NICK:
Are you nuts?
186
00:06:05,843 --> 00:06:07,454
ANGIE:
Here, all right,
see that can?
Yep.
187
00:06:07,497 --> 00:06:08,759
All right.But I need like, a back story.
188
00:06:08,803 --> 00:06:10,761
Like, why am I mad at the can?
189
00:06:10,805 --> 00:06:13,547
That can is your
ex-boyfriend, and, uh,
190
00:06:13,590 --> 00:06:16,637
he did not
respect your space
191
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,596
and, um, thought that
your arts and crafts
192
00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,424
What?
section of your
house was ridiculous.
193
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,034
And, right, done? Enough?Yeah. No. Yeah.
194
00:06:23,078 --> 00:06:25,820
Yeah.Let me just square
your hips right there.
195
00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,604
All right,
196
00:06:27,648 --> 00:06:28,562
center your... there you go.
197
00:06:28,605 --> 00:06:30,346
Now let me just move your hair.
198
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,653
It's so pretty, really curly.Thanks.
199
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:34,089
Fantasy
and nightmare colliding.
200
00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:35,612
Take a deep breath.
201
00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:41,662
Congrats.
202
00:06:41,705 --> 00:06:42,576
We have no power.
203
00:06:42,619 --> 00:06:43,664
Uh...
204
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,317
I'm just gonna...
205
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:46,884
Whoa! Jess, that's it.
Let go of the rifle.
206
00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:48,495
I mean it; you're done.
You're done.
207
00:06:52,281 --> 00:06:53,456
SAM:
Jess, I'm having a great time.
208
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:55,066
Oh, yeah, I'm so mad
at you right now.
209
00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,155
Guys, I think that this
just turned into an adventure.
210
00:06:57,199 --> 00:06:58,592
Look what I found
in the owner's closet.
211
00:06:58,635 --> 00:06:59,593
Yes!
212
00:06:59,636 --> 00:07:00,855
Thank you so much.
213
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,247
You rule.
This is good stuff.
214
00:07:02,291 --> 00:07:04,293
See, making the best
of the night. Sweaters.
215
00:07:04,336 --> 00:07:05,903
A little mothy.
216
00:07:05,947 --> 00:07:08,253
Look what else I found
in the owner's closet.
What?
217
00:07:08,297 --> 00:07:10,386
Crème de menthe, guys.
218
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:11,648
Oh, get in here, girl.
219
00:07:11,692 --> 00:07:12,475
Oh, body warmth.
220
00:07:12,519 --> 00:07:14,259
Take a pull.
221
00:07:14,303 --> 00:07:15,957
Ooh, yeah, pass her over.
222
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,480
Ooh, that's...Yeah.
223
00:07:17,524 --> 00:07:19,134
That is not
crème de menthe.
224
00:07:19,177 --> 00:07:21,484
That is, uh, the green fairy
right there.
225
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,485
It's absinthe.
226
00:07:22,529 --> 00:07:23,660
Yeah, it's absinthe.
227
00:07:23,704 --> 00:07:24,487
Absinthe?
228
00:07:24,531 --> 00:07:25,662
Absinthe...Nice.
229
00:07:25,706 --> 00:07:27,534
has killed so many
230
00:07:27,577 --> 00:07:29,274
of our most famous painters.
231
00:07:29,318 --> 00:07:30,493
Last time I tried absinthe,
232
00:07:30,537 --> 00:07:32,190
I tried to put my car
in my pocket.
233
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:33,888
ANGIE:
Come on.
234
00:07:33,931 --> 00:07:35,890
Let's get crazy.
235
00:07:35,933 --> 00:07:37,326
SAM:
Come on, babe.
236
00:07:37,369 --> 00:07:38,501
[squeals]
237
00:07:38,545 --> 00:07:40,677
Yeah.
238
00:07:40,721 --> 00:07:41,722
Okay, yeah, yeah.
239
00:07:41,765 --> 00:07:42,679
Yeah.
Yeah.
240
00:07:42,723 --> 00:07:45,290
Perfect weekend!
241
00:07:45,334 --> 00:07:46,509
[yelling]
242
00:07:46,553 --> 00:07:47,728
No, no!
No!
243
00:07:47,771 --> 00:07:49,686
Whoa, too much.
244
00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:50,557
Oh, guys.
245
00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:52,776
I don't feel anything.
246
00:07:52,820 --> 00:07:54,125
SCHMIDT:
Well, those were just the best
247
00:07:54,169 --> 00:07:55,779
ribs that I've ever had.
248
00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:58,173
Ooh, you ain't lying, child.
249
00:07:58,216 --> 00:07:59,740
Thanks for dinner, Schmidt.
250
00:07:59,783 --> 00:08:00,915
You know,
I really appreciate it, man.
251
00:08:00,958 --> 00:08:02,743
I do feel supported.So what's next?
252
00:08:02,786 --> 00:08:04,135
There is this one thing
that I miss.
253
00:08:04,179 --> 00:08:05,659
I probably shouldn't say, man.
254
00:08:05,702 --> 00:08:06,790
I can't.
No, come on.
255
00:08:06,834 --> 00:08:08,096
It's us, man.
256
00:08:08,139 --> 00:08:09,576
[sighs]
257
00:08:09,619 --> 00:08:12,927
Schmidt, I could really go
for some crack.
258
00:08:12,970 --> 00:08:14,624
What?
259
00:08:15,625 --> 00:08:16,583
Crack cocaine?
260
00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,541
I remember when I was a kid,
261
00:08:18,585 --> 00:08:20,108
me, my mom,
262
00:08:20,151 --> 00:08:22,023
and her mom, and well, her mom,
263
00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,721
and then her mom,
and then of course her mom,
264
00:08:24,765 --> 00:08:26,201
and then my little cousin,
Peanut,
265
00:08:26,244 --> 00:08:28,725
they'd all rush back
to that flaming trash can
266
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:30,771
where we'd sit around
and harmonize
267
00:08:30,814 --> 00:08:32,729
and just... ♪ shoo-op.
268
00:08:32,773 --> 00:08:33,774
One of those
nights I remember,
269
00:08:33,817 --> 00:08:35,471
well, we ran out of crack.
270
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:37,473
I'd grab my scarf,
and I would run on down
271
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:38,822
to the liquor store
where the thugs hang out,
272
00:08:38,866 --> 00:08:41,782
and I would try to get
a good deal on some crack.
273
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:44,567
Whoo! They never would give me
a good price, man,
274
00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:47,483
but, uh,
I tell you what,
275
00:08:47,527 --> 00:08:50,573
there's nothing like the...
the feel of a fire,
276
00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:52,793
a fresh-baked cookie,
277
00:08:52,836 --> 00:08:56,971
and that sweet, sweet taste
of crack in your lungs.
278
00:08:59,016 --> 00:09:00,627
Okay.
279
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:02,063
Okay, Winston, yeah.
280
00:09:02,106 --> 00:09:04,587
Sure, I mean, if...
281
00:09:04,631 --> 00:09:08,504
If that is something
that you want to do...
282
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:09,940
See, I knew you were
gonna judge me.
283
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:10,941
I knew it.
284
00:09:10,985 --> 00:09:12,682
No, Winston.
285
00:09:12,726 --> 00:09:14,858
I knew you were gonna judge me
and just...
286
00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:17,600
Winston, listen to me.
287
00:09:17,644 --> 00:09:19,080
Look...
288
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,951
if crack cocaine
is what you want,
289
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,606
then crack cocaine is what
we are going to get.
290
00:09:23,650 --> 00:09:25,826
[muffled laughing]How do we do this?
291
00:09:25,869 --> 00:09:27,784
Here's what we do, Schmidt.
We go to the projects, okay?
292
00:09:27,828 --> 00:09:29,481
We knock on some doors.
293
00:09:29,525 --> 00:09:30,787
I'll wait in the car
and take lookout
294
00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:32,528
while you do all the legwork.
295
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:34,617
Because as you say, you are
in much better shape than I am.
296
00:09:34,661 --> 00:09:36,401
You do have
the body of a Smurf.
297
00:09:36,445 --> 00:09:37,838
We could... We could just
get frozen yogurt.
298
00:09:37,881 --> 00:09:39,622
It's not a big deal.
299
00:09:39,666 --> 00:09:40,797
Schmidt ain't about
no frozen yogurt.
300
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,713
I want to go score
some crack cocaine.
301
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:44,627
Really?
302
00:09:44,671 --> 00:09:46,281
We're gonna do this.
303
00:09:55,769 --> 00:09:57,858
Look at them.This is a cabin, guys.
304
00:09:57,901 --> 00:09:59,860
Getting wasted on a couple
of shots of absinthe.
305
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,209
Word games, word games,
306
00:10:01,252 --> 00:10:02,863
word games, word games,
word games.
307
00:10:02,906 --> 00:10:04,342
Doctor! Know what I saying...
308
00:10:04,386 --> 00:10:07,694
[Jess squeaking]
309
00:10:07,737 --> 00:10:09,652
I don't think I feel it.
310
00:10:09,696 --> 00:10:10,871
I can't believe
I'm the sober one.
311
00:10:10,914 --> 00:10:13,874
That's actually never
happened in my life.
312
00:10:13,917 --> 00:10:15,527
[goofy accent]:
Who wants to play Charades?
313
00:10:15,571 --> 00:10:17,138
[muttering]
JESS: Me.
314
00:10:17,181 --> 00:10:18,748
One syllable,
one syllable.
315
00:10:18,792 --> 00:10:20,445
[raspy laughter]Movie.
316
00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:21,664
Gattaca.
317
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:23,753
Oh, I want to be them.
318
00:10:23,797 --> 00:10:25,276
I have to run
upstairs for a sec.
319
00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,670
I have it on good authority
my bed has disappeared.
320
00:10:27,714 --> 00:10:29,933
I need to go check it out.
321
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:33,850
I got to head up there
and take care of that.
322
00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:36,461
Oh, you-you're gonna
go upstairs?
323
00:10:36,505 --> 00:10:38,768
Yeah, yeah.
Now?
324
00:10:38,812 --> 00:10:39,769
Yeah.
325
00:10:39,813 --> 00:10:41,815
Oh, ho-ho-ho, yeah.
326
00:10:41,858 --> 00:10:43,730
Okay.
327
00:10:43,773 --> 00:10:44,905
Have fun.
328
00:10:44,948 --> 00:10:45,819
I will, I guess.
329
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:46,950
[sighs]
330
00:10:46,994 --> 00:10:49,779
[chuckles]
331
00:10:49,823 --> 00:10:52,086
Up.
332
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:54,871
Doesn't sound good.
333
00:10:54,915 --> 00:10:56,743
[coughing]
Oh, Jess.
334
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,832
That sounded terrible.The absinthe
335
00:10:58,875 --> 00:11:00,572
has found a new host.
336
00:11:00,616 --> 00:11:01,878
The toilet.
337
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:02,879
[groans]:
Oh...
338
00:11:02,923 --> 00:11:05,186
I like Angie.
339
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:07,492
She's cool.
It's kind of like
340
00:11:07,536 --> 00:11:09,799
riding a poorly maintained
carnival ride.
341
00:11:09,843 --> 00:11:11,540
I'm glad you get it.
342
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,020
I think she
really likes you.
343
00:11:14,804 --> 00:11:16,893
All right.
344
00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,721
Jeth... I'm not...
I'm-I'm with Jeth.
345
00:11:18,765 --> 00:11:19,940
What?
ANGIE:
Hey, Nick,
346
00:11:19,983 --> 00:11:21,637
look, we switched.
347
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,770
SAM [muttering]:
And look... middle
of the night...
348
00:11:27,774 --> 00:11:29,601
What is the big deal?
349
00:11:29,645 --> 00:11:32,953
I... why else did we all
go to a cabin together?
350
00:11:32,996 --> 00:11:34,345
To hike?
[scoffs]
351
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:36,739
Guys, I'm still
really feeling it.
352
00:11:36,783 --> 00:11:38,610
I just can't believe
you'd do that to Nick.
353
00:11:38,654 --> 00:11:40,090
She didn't do
anything to me.
354
00:11:40,134 --> 00:11:41,091
We have an open
relationship.
355
00:11:41,135 --> 00:11:42,310
She can do whatever
356
00:11:42,353 --> 00:11:43,441
she wants.
I don't care.
357
00:11:43,485 --> 00:11:44,965
Enough. I'm tired of you
358
00:11:45,008 --> 00:11:46,880
acting like this cool guy
359
00:11:46,923 --> 00:11:48,882
with an "open relationship."
360
00:11:48,925 --> 00:11:50,318
That is not you.
361
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:51,972
Yes, it is, Jess.
362
00:11:52,015 --> 00:11:53,974
Why won't you just
let me be me? This is me!
363
00:11:54,017 --> 00:11:55,976
I'm sorry.
I just don't believe you.
364
00:11:56,019 --> 00:11:57,107
You're not this guy.
365
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:59,022
No, no, no, I'm not
feeling good...
366
00:11:59,066 --> 00:12:01,198
At least we don't pretend
to be this perfect couple.
367
00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:03,897
I do not pretend
to be a perfect couple.
368
00:12:03,940 --> 00:12:05,115
The only reason that we're here
369
00:12:05,159 --> 00:12:06,551
is 'cause you
asked us to come,
370
00:12:06,595 --> 00:12:07,596
'cause you didn't want
371
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,250
to be alone with Dr. Sam.
372
00:12:09,293 --> 00:12:10,947
'Cause then you'd
have to be real with him.
373
00:12:10,991 --> 00:12:12,819
Jess? Is that true?
374
00:12:12,862 --> 00:12:14,951
Yes, but no...
it's out of context.
375
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,213
It's out of context, Nick.
376
00:12:16,257 --> 00:12:18,563
You think you know
everything about me.
377
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,870
I'm a rock and roll guy.You are the guy
378
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,829
who asks me to light
matches for you
379
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:25,005
'cause you're afraid your
fingers are gonna get too hot.
380
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,007
I did that one time.Multiple times.
381
00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,835
I was on the back of
a motorcycle earlier,
382
00:12:28,878 --> 00:12:30,575
and I wasn't even that scared.
383
00:12:30,619 --> 00:12:32,055
You don't think I'm crazy?No.
384
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:34,492
Would a sane
man do this?
385
00:12:34,536 --> 00:12:36,364
[gasps]
Oh!
386
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:39,193
Oh![clapping]
387
00:12:39,236 --> 00:12:40,803
Whoa, whoa,
whoa, hold on.
388
00:12:40,847 --> 00:12:42,370
You're doing it.
You're doing a lot of it.
389
00:12:42,413 --> 00:12:43,850
You need to just pace
it a little bit...
390
00:12:43,893 --> 00:12:45,068
Oh, whoa,
that...
391
00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:46,504
you're really
doing it.
392
00:12:46,548 --> 00:12:47,854
[retches]
Whoa!
393
00:12:47,897 --> 00:12:49,725
[sighs]
394
00:12:53,947 --> 00:12:55,992
Well?
395
00:12:56,036 --> 00:12:59,039
I suppose we could just
get out and ask any of
these street youths.
396
00:12:59,082 --> 00:13:00,040
WINSTON: I'll let you get
out the car first.
397
00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,128
Go ahead, do your thing, man.
398
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:02,520
I don't want to ask
the wrong person
399
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:03,870
and end up with
some sub-par crack.
400
00:13:03,913 --> 00:13:05,393
I want the fresh
crack, you know?
401
00:13:05,436 --> 00:13:07,961
Not some crack that's been
laying around all day.
402
00:13:08,004 --> 00:13:11,225
Ooh... I'm really
starting to schvitz.
403
00:13:11,268 --> 00:13:12,835
We don't have to do this.
Man, we could just
404
00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,271
turn this car around,
forget this ever happened,
405
00:13:14,315 --> 00:13:15,969
and get you some
frozen yogurt.
406
00:13:16,012 --> 00:13:18,014
I will not let you deny
who you are any longer.
407
00:13:18,058 --> 00:13:18,798
Not on my watch.
408
00:13:20,060 --> 00:13:21,670
Schmidt...
Hey, psst!
409
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,846
Schmidt, no.
Yes. Skee-you!
410
00:13:23,890 --> 00:13:25,543
Skee-you!
Schmidt!
411
00:13:25,587 --> 00:13:26,849
You, dude.
412
00:13:26,893 --> 00:13:27,981
Don't call that man
to this car.
413
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:28,938
Hi, how are you this evening?
414
00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,940
What do you
guys need?
415
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:32,028
It's cool,
just get in the car, man.
416
00:13:32,072 --> 00:13:33,856
What cool?Yeah, we're cool.
417
00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,727
Schmidt, you did not invite
this guy in this car.
418
00:13:35,771 --> 00:13:37,468
He could be crazy,
could have a gun.
419
00:13:37,512 --> 00:13:39,079
That's a racist thing to
say, Winston, that he...Stop it, Schmidt...
420
00:13:39,122 --> 00:13:40,689
Just assuming that
this man has a pistol.
421
00:13:40,732 --> 00:13:41,864
Hi, sir.
422
00:13:41,908 --> 00:13:43,126
How are you
this evening?
423
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:46,869
Um, the two of us
are very interested
424
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:48,088
in purchasing
some crack cocaine.
425
00:13:48,131 --> 00:13:49,350
You guys cops?
426
00:13:49,393 --> 00:13:51,091
What?Okay, let me out.
427
00:13:51,134 --> 00:13:52,570
Schmidt, Schmidt...
I was just messing
with you, man.
428
00:13:52,614 --> 00:13:53,920
Okay? I was just
trying to see
429
00:13:53,963 --> 00:13:55,443
how far your stupid white
guilt would take you.
430
00:13:55,486 --> 00:13:57,097
Have you ever
done crack?
431
00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:58,968
Hell, no, I've never
done crack, man.
432
00:13:59,012 --> 00:14:00,274
Why do you think I've done
crack? Because I'm black?
433
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:01,449
I thought you'd done crack
'cause you told me
434
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,754
the whole story
about you doing crack.
435
00:14:02,798 --> 00:14:03,930
I thought you guys just
needed directions, okay?
436
00:14:03,973 --> 00:14:05,540
Let me out!Okay, sir.
437
00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:07,150
Just calm down,
all right?
Oh, please, man.
438
00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:09,326
Be cool.Fine, okay, look, you want it?
You want it? Look!
439
00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:10,371
Whoa! No!
Oh my God, no!
440
00:14:10,414 --> 00:14:11,589
Look, my wallet.No! No!
441
00:14:11,633 --> 00:14:12,895
Take my wallet!Here's my wallet, okay?
442
00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,244
Shoot the white dude!Just let me out...
443
00:14:14,288 --> 00:14:15,680
Shoot him!
No, don't
shoot me!
444
00:14:15,724 --> 00:14:17,508
Shoot him, man!But that's...
445
00:14:17,552 --> 00:14:19,119
That's your
wallet.That's yourwallet.
446
00:14:19,162 --> 00:14:21,251
Are you not
robbing us?You're not robbing me?
447
00:14:21,295 --> 00:14:23,079
I don't want to
rob you, man.I thought you were gonna...
448
00:14:23,123 --> 00:14:24,559
I totally misread
the situation.
449
00:14:24,602 --> 00:14:26,082
I thought you
was robbing me.Oh, no, man.
450
00:14:26,126 --> 00:14:27,736
Oh, hey, man,
I'm Schmidt.Robert, man.
451
00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:28,955
Robert.Nice to meet you.
Pleasure, man.
452
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:31,044
Robert, man, hey, man,
nice to meet you, man.
453
00:14:31,087 --> 00:14:32,697
What a nice smile he has.All right, guys.
I'm just...
454
00:14:32,741 --> 00:14:34,917
Okay. Here, I'll...
they're the child locks.
455
00:14:34,961 --> 00:14:36,179
I don't even have kids, but...You guys have
a great night, okay?
456
00:14:36,223 --> 00:14:37,964
You, too, man.Be safe.
Take care, Robert.
457
00:14:38,007 --> 00:14:40,096
Take it easy, man.You guys have a good
night, man, all right.
458
00:14:40,140 --> 00:14:41,271
That was insane.
459
00:14:41,315 --> 00:14:42,794
I was terrified.
That... oh,
my goodness.
460
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:45,145
I judged...[screaming]
461
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,973
God, Robert!
Robert...
462
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,061
I just...
the wallet?
463
00:14:48,104 --> 00:14:49,976
Oh, your wallet...
oh, your wallet.
464
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:51,542
Just give him
the wallet.I'm really sorry.
465
00:14:51,586 --> 00:14:53,109
Yeah, it's
kind of...No, yeah, I get it.
466
00:14:53,153 --> 00:14:54,284
I'd want my wallet back, too.
467
00:14:54,328 --> 00:14:55,590
Thank you.All right.
Thanks, Robert.
468
00:14:55,633 --> 00:14:56,939
I wouldn't thank him.Whoa, man.
469
00:14:56,983 --> 00:14:58,941
What a hilarious
misunderstanding.
470
00:14:58,985 --> 00:15:00,987
Schmidt, drive
the damn car.No, you're right.
471
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:02,205
[owl hooting]
472
00:15:20,006 --> 00:15:21,442
You know, I feel
so much better
473
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,705
after throwing up
into the fire.
474
00:15:26,273 --> 00:15:28,014
Uh, Sam, can you pass the bread?
475
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,973
Oh, sure thing.No, I'll pass
the bread, Angie.
476
00:15:31,017 --> 00:15:33,367
Just keep your hands to yourself
and let the bread come to you.
477
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:42,202
Why do you keep
taking my bread?Oh, I'm sorry.
478
00:15:42,245 --> 00:15:44,160
I thought you and the bread
had an open relationship.
479
00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:46,858
I said I was sorry.
I thought this was an agreement.
480
00:15:46,902 --> 00:15:48,991
I thought we were all cool
with this. I don't...
481
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:50,993
Absinthe!
482
00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,213
Fun dinner.
Fun dinner.
483
00:15:53,256 --> 00:15:55,693
I always have fun at the cabin.
484
00:15:55,737 --> 00:15:57,260
You guys want to
pick my brain?
485
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:59,132
You guys want to know
what I'm thinking about?
486
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,003
I like dogs more than cats.
487
00:16:01,047 --> 00:16:02,657
I like chipmunks
more than squirrels.
488
00:16:04,180 --> 00:16:06,226
I believe in UFOs.
489
00:16:06,269 --> 00:16:08,054
I once had a bass teacher,
490
00:16:08,097 --> 00:16:10,012
when I was younger,
who did the standing bass.
491
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,667
And he had a very weird smell,
and I still think about it.
492
00:16:12,710 --> 00:16:15,017
His name was Mr. Hilton.
493
00:16:15,061 --> 00:16:17,454
I don't like the fact that
you tried to kiss Sam.
494
00:16:17,498 --> 00:16:18,890
[sighs]
495
00:16:18,934 --> 00:16:21,545
Because I have feelings
for you, Angie.
496
00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:26,811
I'm... I had no idea, I'm sorry.
497
00:16:26,855 --> 00:16:29,075
I know.
We said it was open, but...
498
00:16:30,293 --> 00:16:32,078
I'm proud of you
for saying that.
499
00:16:32,121 --> 00:16:34,210
Dr. Sam?
500
00:16:34,254 --> 00:16:36,256
If you were a hat,
you'd be a top hat.
501
00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,605
[snorts]
502
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:40,129
But like a really
big Monopoly one.
503
00:16:40,173 --> 00:16:43,437
And I say that
of the deepest compliments.
504
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,091
Appreciate it.
505
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:50,183
Winston, I'm sorry.
I was just trying to help.
506
00:16:50,226 --> 00:16:51,227
What, help me realize
that I'm black?
507
00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,228
Schmidt, believe it
or not, man,
508
00:16:52,272 --> 00:16:54,056
I've known that
for a while now.
509
00:16:54,100 --> 00:16:55,927
I just feel bad you're forced
to live here with Jess and Nick.
510
00:16:55,971 --> 00:16:58,060
Oh, wow.
I mean, they're
honky as hell.
511
00:16:58,104 --> 00:17:00,193
And look at our people.
Look what we've given
to this country.
512
00:17:00,236 --> 00:17:01,846
Jazz...
513
00:17:01,890 --> 00:17:03,457
The management of
jazz musicians.
514
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:06,199
But, look, Schmidt,
being black means
515
00:17:06,242 --> 00:17:07,765
whatever I want it to mean.
516
00:17:07,809 --> 00:17:09,115
You know, the fact
of the matter is
517
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:11,117
I live in a loft
with three people
518
00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:12,553
who happen to be white.
519
00:17:12,596 --> 00:17:13,989
But believe you me,
520
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,077
there is so much more
521
00:17:15,121 --> 00:17:16,339
that I find annoying about you
522
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:18,907
that I haven't even
gotten to race.
523
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:20,648
Now, I'm gonna get
some frozen yogurt.
524
00:17:20,691 --> 00:17:22,084
Would you like anything?
525
00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,564
Yeah.
526
00:17:23,607 --> 00:17:26,001
I'll have
a vanilla chocolate swirl.
527
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,916
No.
What, no...
528
00:17:27,959 --> 00:17:31,137
No. I'll have
strawberry with jimmies.
529
00:17:31,180 --> 00:17:32,964
Did you get that?
530
00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:36,098
Hey.
531
00:17:36,142 --> 00:17:37,491
How you doing?
532
00:17:37,534 --> 00:17:39,319
[exhales]
533
00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:41,103
Much better.
534
00:17:41,147 --> 00:17:44,237
That alcohol got on top of me.
535
00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,152
Oh...
I'm a little
embarrassed by that.
536
00:17:46,195 --> 00:17:48,241
I'm sorry about Sam.
537
00:17:48,284 --> 00:17:50,330
I... I thought it was cool.
538
00:17:50,373 --> 00:17:53,115
Right.
And I try to ruin
things as soon as
539
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:54,290
they get good.
540
00:17:54,334 --> 00:17:55,944
I'm working on it.
541
00:17:55,987 --> 00:17:58,816
Believe it or not,
I'm working on stuff, too.
542
00:17:58,860 --> 00:18:01,558
You know, I just wish I was
working on less stuff.
543
00:18:01,602 --> 00:18:03,604
You know, I've been arrested
three times.
544
00:18:03,647 --> 00:18:04,996
Four times.
545
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:06,346
Four to five times.
546
00:18:06,389 --> 00:18:08,217
I have tattoos
547
00:18:08,261 --> 00:18:10,001
of bands that I don't
even like anymore.
548
00:18:10,045 --> 00:18:11,351
By the way,
you've been really cool
549
00:18:11,394 --> 00:18:12,526
about the "Jamiroquai"
tattoo on my butt.
550
00:18:12,569 --> 00:18:14,919
I'm not asking you to change.
551
00:18:14,963 --> 00:18:18,184
Just how about meet me
in the middle a little bit?
552
00:18:18,227 --> 00:18:20,621
What do you want me to do?
Go to brunch?
553
00:18:20,664 --> 00:18:22,188
Are we supposed to,
like, read articles
554
00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:23,406
and then talk
about them together?
555
00:18:23,450 --> 00:18:24,494
Okay, I'm never
556
00:18:24,538 --> 00:18:25,756
going to be that kind of girl.
557
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:27,758
I just want to do
something normal.
558
00:18:27,802 --> 00:18:28,977
How about not
559
00:18:29,020 --> 00:18:31,371
drawing pubes on my armpit
560
00:18:31,414 --> 00:18:32,720
while I'm sleeping?
561
00:18:32,763 --> 00:18:33,721
[giggles]
You think
you could
562
00:18:33,764 --> 00:18:35,026
do something like that?
563
00:18:35,070 --> 00:18:37,638
Yeah. Yeah.
564
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,205
'Cause I would really like
565
00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:41,381
to keep this going.
566
00:18:41,424 --> 00:18:44,297
Want to move your
twin bed over here?
567
00:18:44,340 --> 00:18:46,386
Sexy, sexy, sexy.
568
00:18:46,429 --> 00:18:47,648
[laughs]
569
00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,258
Bird! Bird! Bird!
570
00:18:49,302 --> 00:18:50,390
Bird!
Oh.
571
00:18:50,433 --> 00:18:51,782
Help! Help!Oh, my God.
572
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,175
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah!
573
00:18:53,219 --> 00:18:54,742
No big, I got it!
I'm on it.
574
00:18:54,785 --> 00:18:57,179
Just a...
it was a painting.
575
00:18:57,223 --> 00:19:00,008
That's not really how
I wanted the weekend to go.
576
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,749
I thought the worst
thing that could happen
577
00:19:01,792 --> 00:19:04,360
was someone wouldn't like
the cheese I brought.
578
00:19:05,274 --> 00:19:07,320
I wanted it to be perfect.
579
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:10,105
Jess, when Nick said
that you invited them
580
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,411
because you were nervous...
581
00:19:11,454 --> 00:19:14,196
No, don't worry about that.Jess,
582
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,329
we're not perfect.
583
00:19:16,372 --> 00:19:18,287
Like the first time
we slept together,
584
00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:20,202
like, I didn't even
know your real name.
585
00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:21,595
Kind of a pretty sassy detail.
586
00:19:21,638 --> 00:19:25,033
Can we just concentrate
on the fact that, like,
587
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:28,254
I was tripping pretty
hard on absinthe
588
00:19:28,297 --> 00:19:29,255
and I said, "No"?
589
00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,082
To a stripper?
590
00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,215
I mean, a stripper was
like rubbing my leg...
591
00:19:33,259 --> 00:19:34,782
That's weirdly...
592
00:19:34,825 --> 00:19:37,437
the most romantic thing
I've ever heard.
593
00:19:38,438 --> 00:19:39,526
[laughs]
594
00:19:43,443 --> 00:19:46,141
[birds chirping]
595
00:19:57,500 --> 00:20:00,416
Got it.
I left a
Post-it note
596
00:20:00,460 --> 00:20:01,722
on the transformer
that said "Broken."
597
00:20:01,765 --> 00:20:03,506
SAM: Is there any way that
we could make it look
598
00:20:03,550 --> 00:20:05,421
like it was raccoon bites?A few announcements.
599
00:20:05,465 --> 00:20:06,466
Uh...
600
00:20:06,509 --> 00:20:08,903
Angie left. Me.
601
00:20:08,946 --> 00:20:11,471
What?
She took the
motorcycle,
602
00:20:11,514 --> 00:20:13,255
and, uh, a few of my belongings,
603
00:20:13,299 --> 00:20:14,691
but I'm still wearing
my underwear,
604
00:20:14,735 --> 00:20:16,302
so she comes up short-handed
in that treasure hunt.
605
00:20:16,345 --> 00:20:17,651
Seriously?Oh, I'm so
sorry, Nick.
606
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:18,913
I'm sorry, man.
607
00:20:18,956 --> 00:20:20,306
It's fine; I'm a grown man.
608
00:20:20,349 --> 00:20:21,437
I will need a ride home.
609
00:20:21,481 --> 00:20:22,612
Yeah.
Obviously.
610
00:20:22,656 --> 00:20:24,397
I would love to pitch
in with gas,
611
00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:26,268
but I don't have any money,
so I could pay in "Nick Bucks,"
612
00:20:26,312 --> 00:20:27,313
fully redeemable
613
00:20:27,356 --> 00:20:29,489
for smiles
614
00:20:29,532 --> 00:20:31,273
and any one item from my bureau.
615
00:20:31,317 --> 00:20:32,318
We'll hold you to that.
616
00:20:32,361 --> 00:20:33,493
Thank you, Doctor.
617
00:20:33,536 --> 00:20:36,496
[whimpers]
Don't, I-I'm good.
618
00:20:36,539 --> 00:20:38,280
I know you don't
want to be hugged.I don't want to be hugged.
619
00:20:38,324 --> 00:20:39,760
And I respect
that. So...Okay. 'Cause I'm fine.
620
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,283
Jess, no,
I'm good, I'm good.
621
00:20:41,327 --> 00:20:43,329
I promise you,
I'm good.
Just...
622
00:20:43,372 --> 00:20:44,678
Actually, this is
very weird for you.
623
00:20:44,721 --> 00:20:46,375
I'm not hugging you.I know.
624
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:49,291
I'm sorry.
I promise you
I'm okay.
625
00:20:49,335 --> 00:20:51,162
Stop making this a thing,
because I'm not sad.
626
00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:53,426
This is for the best.Yeah. [grunts]
627
00:20:53,469 --> 00:20:55,341
I'm fine.
She didn't
deserve you.
628
00:20:56,559 --> 00:20:58,300
Whatever that means.
629
00:20:58,344 --> 00:20:59,780
Thank you.
SAM:
Okay, almost there.
630
00:20:59,823 --> 00:21:01,477
Hey, let's go!
All right.
631
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,349
Hey, the potato salad's
632
00:21:03,392 --> 00:21:04,524
accidentally
in the garbage.
633
00:21:04,567 --> 00:21:06,003
Look at that.
634
00:21:06,047 --> 00:21:08,310
You guys mind if I eat
this in the back seat?
635
00:21:08,354 --> 00:21:10,356
You can eat salad
in my back seat anytime.
636
00:21:12,401 --> 00:21:14,360
Didn't mean that to be sexual.
637
00:21:14,403 --> 00:21:15,926
[chuckles]
SAM:
All right, guys.
638
00:21:15,970 --> 00:21:17,363
It's a little bit gamey.
639
00:21:17,406 --> 00:21:18,973
Okay.
640
00:21:19,016 --> 00:21:20,366
I'll get the garbage, here.
641
00:21:20,409 --> 00:21:22,193
Hold on, hold on.
642
00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:23,543
The absinthe.
643
00:21:23,586 --> 00:21:25,327
You almost threw that
out by accident.
644
00:21:25,371 --> 00:21:26,676
Wow.
645
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,591
SAM: We're ready.
You all ready?
646
00:21:28,635 --> 00:21:30,463
Yep, I'll be right
with you guys.
647
00:21:32,943 --> 00:21:34,554
That was a mistake! Whoo!
648
00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:38,597
I am gonna poop weird tonight!
Yeah!... Oh that was a mistake.
42559
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof