Original subtitles

IS HE HERE?

NO.

Ah... Aah!

DO YOU THINK HE'S COMING?

I TOLD YOU, I DON'T KNOW.

OH, I HOPE HE'S COMING.

WELL, SEEING AS HOW HE REALLY NEEDS THIS JOB,

I THINK HE'LL BE HERE.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

WHAT IF HE DOESN'T COME?

WELL, THEN IT WILL BE ALL YOUR FAULT.

WHY IS IT MY FAULT? WELL, YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO CAUSED ALL THE PROBLEMS FOR HIM AND WIFEY.

OH, AND YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT?

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I'M INNOCENT IN ALL THIS.

YEAH. AS INNOCENT AS A LIAR.

I AM NOT A LIAR, AND YOU CAN'T...

OKAY FINE, I PLAYED MY PART.

IT WAS FUN.

IT'S SO LONELY WITHOUT HIM.

MM‐HMM.

AND THAT ALMOST GOT YOU CUT.

HEY, IT WAS LATE.

I HAD BEEN DRINKING. I TOOK ONE WRONG TURN

AND ENDED UP IN YOUR ROOM.

IN MY ROOM, IN MY BED.

YEAH. SCARY.

IN MY ROOM, IN MY BED AND CUDDLING ME.

AND POKING YOU IN THE BACK.

OH, IS THAT WHAT THAT WAS?

COULD HAVE SWORN I ROLLED OVER A NUMBER 2 PENCIL.

IT'S CRAZY.

WELL, SOME PEOPLE GLOAT.

DO YOURSELF A FAVOR, AND GROW UP.

WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'M GOING TO DO,

BECAUSE I'M A GROWER, NOT A SHOWER.

OKAY, THAT'S FINE.

DO IT AGAIN ‐‐ YEAH?

AND I WILL PERSONALLY SHARPEN THAT LITTLE PENCIL FOR YOU.

OH! YOU ‐‐

YOU PRO‐UNH‐UNH‐MISE!

YES, WITH A BLOWTORCH.

HEY...

THAT'S ONE WAY TO GET BL‐‐

OH, SAY IT. JUST SAY IT.

OKAY, OKAY. I'M SORRY. IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

YEAH, I KNOW IT WON'T.

BECAUSE I DON'T GET DOWN LIKE THAT.

YEAH, I CAN TELL.

I'M SORRY, WHAT?

YOUR MATTRESS WAS SO FIRM, IT WAS LIKE HATTIE'S FEET.

SO YOU FELT HER FEET?

ONLY WITH MY MOUTH.

DON'T ASK.

DON'T TELL.

I HOPE HE COMES TO WORK.

HE'LL BE HERE. WE HAVE A PROJECT TOGETHER.

OH, HEY, GOOD MORNING.

HEY, LOVE!

HOW YOU DOIN', LOVE?

DON'T SAY A DAMN THING TO ME.

IT'S LIKE THAT, BRO? I ‐‐

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

BEAGAL AND STEVE, HOW MAY I DIRECT YOUR CALL?

DIRECT IT RIGHT UP YOUR... HEY, BUDDY!

I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME.

DANNY.

DANNY!

I'M SORRY, PEOPLE ARE REAL IGNORANT AROUND HERE.

DANNY!

I SAID DON'T TALK TO ME.

PLEASE HOLD.

WE HAVE TO TALK. WE'VE GOT PROJECTS TOGETHER.

RIGHT? AND HOW CAN WE WORK TOGETHER IF WE DON'T TALK?

YES. YOU GUYS KNOW I DIDN'T TAKE SIGN LANGUAGE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I CAN'T WORK UNDER THIS KIND OF PRESSURE.

I'M SURE THERE'S ONE THING HERE YOU'LL BOTH RECOGNIZE.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S THE INTERNATIONAL SIGN.

GET LOST.

IN YOUR EYES.

DREW. OH, COME ON!

I'M TRYING TO LIGHTEN THE MOOD.

YEAH, BUDDY.

YOU GUYS THINK THIS IS SOMETHING

YOU CAN JUST SWEEP UNDER THE RUG WITH A JOKE?

NO. YEAH.

DREW!

HEY.

YOU WERE THINKING IT, TOO.

LOOK, WE SAID WE'RE SORRY.

I DON'T CARE. I REALLY DON'T CARE.

BUT YOU HAVE TO. WHY DO I HAVE TO?

BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, BUDDY.

NO, YOU DON'T.

YES I DO.

AND YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE YOU MINE.

I'M GOING TO KEEP ON TRYING TO MAKE YOU MINE.

DREW!

AM I... AM I, LIKE, PUTTING MYSELF

ALL THE WAY OUT THERE?

I'M SITTING ON THE SIDELINE.

LOOK, DANNY,

YOU CAN'T JUST GO ON NOT SPEAKING TO ME FOREVER.

YEAH. WE'RE YOUR FRIENDS AND WE WON'T LET YOU.

YOU'RE NOT MY FRIENDS.

YES, WE ARE.

SO, YOU COME UP WITH A WAY FOR MY MOM AND MY WIFE

TO BE AT EACH OTHER'S THROAT?

WELL...

AND YOU CALL THAT FRIENDSHIP?

LOOK, WE KNOW SHE'S GONE.

AND WE'RE SORRY.

WELL, IF YOU'RE SO SORRY, THEN GET HER BACK FOR ME.

WELL WE WOULD IF WE KNEW WHERE SHE WAS.

YEAH, YEAH.

SHE'S YOUR COUSIN.

SAY WHAT?

WOW.

YES.

BUT THAT'S CRAZY. I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE'S AT.

CALL HER PARENTS. SHE DON'T GOT NO PARENTS.

NAH, SHE DON'T GOT ‐‐ YOU'VE SEEN HER FOREHEAD, RIGHT?

CAN'T NOBODY GIVE BIRTH TO THAT.

YOU SEE? YOU'RE NOT SORRY.

WE ARE. LOOK...

I DON'T KNOW HER MAMA.

AND I KNOW A LOT OF MAMAS.

HEY... YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT. JUST FORGET IT.

NO, NO, NO DANNY. I'M REALLY HURT BY THIS.

I REALLY AM. YEAH, WELL, SO AM I!

BUT YOU ENDED OUR FRIENDSHIP.

YOU STARTED THIS. OH, OKAY.

WOW, I NEVER THOUGHT THAT WE WOULD BE THIS WAY.

AT ALL. WELL, WE ARE.

BUT I LOVE YOU. AND I LOVE YOU TOO.

SO WE'RE COOL?

NO.

WE WILL NEVER BE COOL AGAIN.

WE MESSED UP.

WE REALLY DID.

AND WE SAID WE'RE SORRY.

DOES IT MAKE YOU GUYS FEEL GOOD TO SEE ME LIKE THIS?

TO SEE ME IN PAIN? TO SEE ME HURTING?

TO KNOW THAT MY WIFE WALKED OUT ON ME?

NO, OF COURSE NOT.

RIGHT, SAM?

WELL...

SAM!

WHAT?

SAM!

NO, IT DOESN'T.

YOU SEE? YOU SEE?

I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

NO SAM, YOU MEANT IT! YOU MEANT IT!

OKAY, OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT?

WE ALREADY APOLOGIZED.

THERE'S NOTHING ELSE WE CAN DO.

RIGHT. SO, IF THIS IS HOW

YOU WANT TO PLAY IT, THEN I HAVE TO RESPECT THAT.

YES. GOOD.

SO THAT'S IT?

THAT'S IT. HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE FRIENDS ANYMORE,

THEN WE HAVE TO RESPECT IT.

NO, I'M NOT.

YOU HAVE TO.

NO. I SAID I'M NOT.

NOW, LOOK,

WE'VE ALL BEEN FRIENDS FOR FAR TOO LONG

TO LET SOME STRANGE MAN COME BETWEEN US.

NOW, LISTEN HERE, TRANNY.

I'M SORRY. I GOT IT MIXED UP.

TROY AND DANNY COMBINED, IT'S...

THE UNIVERSE DON'T LIE.

I KNOW YOU'RE HURTING.

AND WE SAID WE'RE SORRY.

AND I REALLY AM SORRY FOR THE PART

THAT I PLAYED IN ALL OF THIS.

AND WE...

OKAY, FINE ‐‐

I...

REALLY MEAN IT.

AND IF YOU DON'T EVER WANT TO TALK TO ME AGAIN, THEN FINE.

BUT I'M GOING TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IT WILL REALLY HURT.

DANNY, PLEASE!

SAY SOMETHING.

WOW.

YOU REALLY ARE DOING THIS?

HE JUST WALKS OUT ON US?

MORE LIKE ON YOU.

HEY, YOU'RE CLOSER TO THE DOOR.

I FEEL SO BAD.

OH, YES.

OH, DON'T EVEN.

WHAT?

SAY THAT YOU FEEL BAD.

I DO!

YOU ARE SO HAPPY TROY IS OUT OF...

HE'S OUT OF HIS LIFE.

NO, I'M NOT!

OH, YEAH, YOU ARE.

YOU'RE LAUGHING ON THE INSIDE.

CAN YOU TELL?

YES, SAM. I CAN TELL.

AND I'M SURE DANNY CAN, TOO.

NO, HE CAN'T!

OH, YEAH, HE CAN.

BECAUSE THAT STUPID GRIN ON YOUR FACE DON'T HELP AT ALL.

THAT'S NOT A GRIN.

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU RIGHT, YOU RIGHT.

YOU ALWAYS LOOK THAT DUMB.

THAT'S YOUR NORMAL. THAT'S REAL NORMAL.

MM‐HMM.

NO.

THAT'S ACTUALLY THE LOOK OF SATISFACTION.

NICE, NICE.

REMIND ME NEVER TO PLEASE YOU.

NEVER PLEASE ME.

YOU SEE SAM? I KNEW YOU WEREN'T SORRY.

TO HELL WITH HER.

SAM! WHAT? NO, NO.

DANNY WILL COME BACK TO ME AND HE WILL GO BACK TO NORMAL.

AND THINGS WILL GO BACK TO THE WAY THEY WERE

BEFORE...

THE INTRODUCTION OF HELEN OF TROY.

NO, THEY WON'T.

DANNY REALLY LOVES HER.

OBVIOUSLY ‐‐ HE'S CRUSHED.

FOR NOW.

BUT I WILL ‐‐ I WILL PICK UP MY LITTLE WOUNDED SPARROW

AND HE WILL COME BACK TO ME.

OH! YES, HE WILL!

OW.

NICE BEAK!

WOW, YOU REALLY ARE DELUSIONAL.

SAYS THE GIRL WHO THINKS SHE'S CUTE.

BOY, STOP.

BECAUSE THIS MILKSHAKE RIGHT HERE,

IT BRINGS ALL THE BOYS TO THE YARD.

YEAH... THE PRISON YARD!

YOU'VE BEEN READING MY EMAILS?

I DON'T HAVE TO, TO KNOW THAT.

TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT CELL MATE 8014433‐2.

GUESS HOW MANY CONJUGALS I CAN BUY WITH THREE CIGARETTES?

THE ANSWER IS THREE.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YEAH, OKAY.

LIGHTS OUT!

WHATEVER. I'M WAY TOO STRESSED OUT

RIGHT NOW TO BE THINKING ABOUT ALL MY PRISON MEN.

WHAT ARE YOU STRESSED ABOUT?

HELLO! DANNY.

HELLO, DID YOU NOT HEAR ME?

HE WILL COME BACK TO ME! HE WILL.

I DON'T KNOW, SAM. LOOK.

I APOLOGIZED. YES ‐‐

AND HE DIDN'T ACCEPT IT.

BUT I TRIED. AND SO DID I.

SO? THE BALL'S IN HIS COURT.

REALLY?

BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW IF DANNY'S PLAYING WITH BALLS ANYMORE.

DID YOU NOT SEE TROY?

HUNH, HUNH, HUNH!

OH, YEAH, THEY GOT BALLS!

BALLS ON BALLS ON BALLS.

TESTES, TESTES, ONE, TWO...

THREE.

NOTHING BUT THE BOTTOM OF THE...

NET. OOH.

DROPPED IT ALL THE WAY TO THAT TROY LEVEL, HUH?

YEAH, IT DID. THAT WAS GOOD, RIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING. I CAN TAP IN.

I CAN TAP IN.

BUT WHAT IF HE DOESN'T COME AROUND.

HMM?

I MEAN, WHAT IF DANNY NEVER LETS THIS GO?

DREW, THIS IS MY DANNY. HE WILL COME BACK TO ME.

I DON'T KNOW. HE LOOKED REALLY SERIOUS.

YEAH. AND I'M SURE HE PRACTICED THAT LOOK IN THE MIRROR.

I DON'T THINK SO.

DREW, THIS IS MY DANNY.

OF COURSE HE WILL.

I THINK HE'S SERIOUS, AND I THINK HE'S DONE WITH US.

IF YOU SAY SO.

BUT WHAT ‐‐ BUT WHAT IF HE IS?

THEN WE HAVE TO BE DONE.

NO.

NO.

BUT HE'S NOT.

I KNEW WE SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THIS.

NO, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.

I SAID "WE"!

"WE" ‐‐ YOU AND I.

YEAH.

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE, BUT WHATEVER. IT'S DONE NOW.

THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK.

BUT I AIN'T LETTING IT GO. OH, NO.

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. I'M NOT LETTING IT GO.

I'M NOT LETTING IT GO. OH, GOSH.

IT'S NOT OVER UNTIL I SAY IT'S OVER.

WOW. WHEN I SAY IT'S OVER.

WOW. THAT'S WHEN IT'S OVER.

SO MANY EX‐GIRLFRIENDS DID THAT TO ME.

NO, IT'S NOT.

DREW. HEY, DANGER!

YOU'RE STARTING TO SOUND LIKE A STALKER.

WELL, SAM,

I'VE BEEN KNOWN TO DO THAT A TIME OR TWO.

I KNOW.

OKAY. SO YOU KNOW WHAT?

I GOTTA GO FIX THIS.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TOUCH ME TO TELL ME THAT.

AND HOW?

WELL, BY USING MY FEMININE PERSUASIONS.

OH, YES,

YOUR FEMININE PERSUASIONS.

IT'S LACKING THE FEMININE AND THE PERSUASION.

OH, PLEASE. I GOT THIS.

AND WHERE YOU GOING?

TO GO SEE A MAN ABOUT A HORSE.

WHAT?

I TOLD YOU, TO GO SEE A MAN ABOUT SOME HORSEHAIR.

GOTTA STOCK UP ON MY WIGS.

KEEP IT RIGHT, KEEP IT TIGHT.

THAT GIRL, AND HER HAIR,

ARE BOTH NOT STABLE.

"STABLE."

HORSEHAIR.

GET OUT OF MY DAMN KITCHEN.

COME ON OUT HERE.

MISTER. HEY, BUDDY.

YOU'RE COMING THIS WAY.

GET TO STEPPING THIS WAY.

THIS WAY! COME ON.

YOU AIN'T GOT NO BUSINESS OUT BEHIND THERE.

PEOPLE WON'T BE COMING NO BY THE DAMN KITCHEN ANYWAY.

COME ON. YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THE DAMN DOOR IS?

GET THE HELL UP OUT OF HERE.

NEXT TIME, SEND ME A NOTE.

DON'T COME UP IN SOMEBODY'S PLACE.

HE WOULDN'T SLEEP WITH YOU, WOULD HE?

HI.

HEY. HEY DREW.

HOW ARE YOU?

I DO PRETTY GOOD. HOW YOU DOING?

I'M GOOD. PRETTY GOOD, PRETTY GOOD.

YOU BY YOURSELF?

YES, BUT I'M HOPING TO MEET SOMEONE HERE.

AH, HELL, GOT YOURSELF A HOT DATE.

[ BOTH CHUCKLING ]

LEAVE HER ALONE, UNCLE FLOYD. SHE COULD HAVE A DATE.

YOU THE ONE THAT NEED TO HAVE A DATE WITH A DOCTOR.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

[ SIGHS ] I'M READY TO DROP THIS LOAD.

WAIT, WAIT. WHAT YOU WAITING ON, BABE?

TROY.

OH.

YOU TALKING TO HER NOW?

EH...

WHAT YOU TALKING TO HER FOR?

WELL, I JUST WANTED TO SEE IF SHE WOULD GET BACK WITH DANNY.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT, DREW.

MISS LINDA, DANNY IS REALLY UPSET WITH SAM AND I.

AND?

AND HE'S MAD AT YOU, TOO.

I'M HIS MAMA.

OKAY? AND WE'RE HIS FRIENDS.

WELL, YOU CAN'T STAY MAD AT YOUR MAMA.

IT'S LIKE A LAW AGAINST IT OR SOMETHING.

IS THAT SO? 'CAUSE YOU AND MAMA HATTIE

ARE ALWAYS GOING AT IT.

YOU JUST ALWAYS FEUDING.

[ LAUGHS, HISSES ]

STAY OUT OF THAT.

LOOK, I DON'T WANT ANY MORE DRAMA,

SO I JUST WANT TO TALK TO TROY

AND SEE IF SHE'LL GET BACK WITH DANNY.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THAT, DREW.

LINDA, STAY OUT OF THAT.

I'M TELLING YOU. HEY LOOK,

YOU ALREADY GOT MESSED UP FROM BEHIND THAT BEFORE.

NO, NO. DANNY DOES NOT NEED TO BE WITH TROY.

UH, LINDA. LI‐‐

UNH‐UH, UNH‐UH, NO, NO.

AND I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU ALL SAY.

UNH‐UH, UNH‐UH...

NO, IT'S JUST, IT'S WRONG.

AND IT WASN'T GOING TO WORK OUT, ANYWAY.

WHAT...

Drew: I FEEL YOU, I REALLY DO.

BUT I WANT TO TALK TO TROY, ONE‐ON‐ONE,

WOMAN‐TO‐MAN,

AND SAY, "HEY, BRAH,

GO AHEAD AND GET BACK WITH YOUR DUDE!"

THEN THEY CAN BE TWO DUDES, DOING WHAT THEY DO.

IF ‐‐ IF THAT'S WHAT DANNY WANTS, HEY.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO HELP THEM GET BACK TOGETHER.

LINDA ‐‐ NO, MA'AM!

NO, MA'AM. I'M NOT GOING TO LET THIS HAPPEN.

OKAY, GREAT.

I DON'T LIKE HER, EITHER.

BUT I WANT TO TALK TO HER SO THAT SHE CAN AT LEAST

UNDERSTAND WHAT REALLY HAPPENED.

DREW ‐‐ THAT IS NOT A GOOD IDEA.

CONTINUING TO TALK IS NOT A GOOD IDEA EITHER.

UNH‐UH, UNH‐UH, NO, NO, NO HATTIE. SHUT YOUR MOUTH.

LET HER KEEP ON TALKING. NO, NO, KEEP ON.

YEAH! YEAH. I CAN SPEAK MY MIND.

PLUS, THAT LITTLE GIRL DON'T EVEN LIKE MY COOKING.

NOBODY ALIVE LIKES YOUR COOKING, LINDA.

UNCLE FLOYD. WHAT?!

PHILIP LIKES MY COOKING.

THAT'S WHY HE STAY AT THE HOSPITAL.

I'M SORRY. BATHROOM.

LOOK...

I'M JUST SAYING, YOU ALL NEED TO LET THIS GO, OKAY?

OKAY.

I DON'T THINK TROY AND DANNY SHOULD BE TOGETHER.

AND IF IT THEY DIDN'T BREAK UP NOW,

THEY WERE GOING TO BREAK UP AT S‐‐

YEAH. DAMN.

OH, YEAH.

PUT THEM BIG‐ASS FEET ON IN YOUR MOUTH.

THAT'S A MIGHT FOR THERE.

SO ‐‐ SO, YOU ALL TRYING TO HINT AT THE FACT

THAT THEY, LIKE, BEHIND US?

LIKE JASON.

DAMN!