Original subtitles

DANNY!

IT'S MAMA CALLING!

DANNY!

DAMN, IT'S LIKE YOUR VOICE

IN STEREO OR SOMETHING.

HUSH, UNCLE FLOYD.

HE MIGHT NOT BE ABLE TO HEAR ME.

I'M USING MY INSIDE VOICE.

DANNY!

THE DEAD CAN HEAR YOU.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT, HATTIE?

I DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT ALL THAT, FLOYD,

NOW PARK YOUR HAPPY ASS ON OVER HERE OUT THE WAY.

WHAT?

FLOYD, ONE THING FOR SURE

IN TWO‐FOR‐THREE SHOW.

ALL THIS HERE IS D‐E‐D, DEAD.

WHAT?

NOW OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, FLOYD!

I CAN'T ‐‐ WHAT ‐‐

WELL, WHY COME YOU CAN'T?

'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE THE KEY.

AIN'T YOU THE BUILDING SUPERINTENDENT?

YES, AND I SUPER‐INTEND NOT TO OPEN IT.

FLOYD, WHAT GOOD ARE YOU? THAT'S WHAT I NEED TO KNOW.

YOU'LL NEVER FIND OUT.

AND I'M NOT TRYING TO, EITHER.

THANK YOU, FATHER.

COME OPEN THE DAMN DOOR, FLOYD.

‐I CAN'T. ‐WELL, HOW COME YOU CAN'T?

‐WHERE THE KEY? ‐LINDA GOT THE KEY.

NO, HE CHANGED THE LOCKS.

‐WHAT? ‐YES.

THAT'S AGAINST THE BUILDING CODE.

OH, SO NOW YOU KNOW THE RULES?

‐WELL, I AM THE BUILDING ‐‐ ‐YOU AIN'T THE NOTHING, FLOYD!

DANNY!

IT'S LIKE A HUMAN BULLHORN.

DANNY!

DAMN.

HOLLER ONE MORE AGAIN IN HERE.

GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, UNCLE FLOYD?

WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I'M GONNA GET THIS EAR

REPAIRED AT THE EAR DOCTOR.

'CAUSE YOU DONE BUST MY EAR DRUM.

DA‐‐ DANNY!

ONE MORE AGAIN, DO IT AGAIN.

DO IT AGAIN.

DO IT ‐‐

I DOUBLE‐DOG DARE YOU TO HOLLER ONE MORE AGAIN.

MAMA, I'M WORRIED ABOUT HIM.

WELL, I TOLD YOU TO BREAK IN.

‐MAMA. ‐WHAT?

I CAN'T.

YES, YOU CAN.

NO, SHE CAN'T,

'CAUSE ANY DAMAGE TO THAT DOOR

IS GONNA COME OUT OF HIS DEPOSIT.

THEN MOVE OUT THE WAY.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING READY TO DO?

I'M GONNA KICK THIS BITCH IN LIKE THE PO‐PO DO.

COME ON. I WANT TO SEE THIS.

DANIEL, OPEN THIS DOOR!

OOH!

WAIT A MINUTE.

LIKE A BOUNCY BALL.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

♪♪♪♪

[ GROANS ]

THAT RIGHT THERE, THAT HURT

LIKE A SON OF A BITCH.

WELL, THAT "SON OF A BITCH"

IS MADE OF STEEL, HATTIE.

DAMN SURE IS, ISN'T IT, FLOYD?

DING, DING, DING, DING.

LOOK, WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE.

‐HATTIE? ‐HUH?

SERIOUSLY, I'VE BEEN WANTING TO ASK YOU THIS.

WHAT IS REALLY WRONG WITH YOU?

THAT DAMN DOOR!

NO.

WHY IS YOUR FACE AND YOUR BODY ALL CONTORTED?

AM I CONTORTED, FLOYD?

[ SCOFFS ]

NEVER MIND. THAT MUST BE YOUR NORMAL LOOK.

MAMA, I GOT TO GET IN THERE,

AND ‐‐ AND I'M WORRIED ABOUT DANNY.

YOU WEREN'T WORRIED ABOUT HIM WHEN Y'ALL WAS ARGUING.

THAT'S 'CAUSE THAT LITTLE HEIFER

WAS TALKING ABOUT MY COOKING.

I HAD TO DEFEND MYSELF.

GIRL, YOU AIN'T HAD TO DEFEND THAT BULLSH‐‐

DON'T ‐‐ DON'T YOU ‐‐

THAT'S RIGHT, UNCLE FLOYD, GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD, DISRESPECT ME

AND THIS LITTLE BABY RIGHT HERE.

‐MM. ‐WELL, HE CAN'T HEAR ME.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

NOW, IF HIS EARS ARE AS BIG AS YOUR HEAD,

HE CAN HEAR WHAT I'M GONNA SAY IN 15 MINUTES.

YOU KNOW ‐‐ LOOK, I NEED TO ‐‐ MM.

I NEED TO GET IN THERE AND SEE IF DANNY'S OKAY, MAMA.

I TOLD YOU TO BREAK THE DOOR DOWN!

[ SIGHS ]

MAMA, IT'S STEEL!

SO WHAT?

♪♪ YOUR HEAD IS A WRECKIN' BALL ♪♪

WHY WOULD YOU WANT ME TO DO THAT

AND ENDANGER MY BABY?

THAT AIN'T GONNA ENDANGER THAT DOGGONE BABY.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

GIRL!

THE THINGS I USED TO DO

WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU.

‐MAMA. ‐SHE DID EVERYTHING, TOO.

YEAH, BABY, I WHACKED THAT COAST.

YEAH, SHE WAS A FLYING MONKEY IN THE CIRCUS.

OOH, I DRANK.

AND SMOKED.

‐AND TOOK ‐‐ ‐[ STAMMERING ]

‐MNH‐MNH! [ RETCHING ] ‐[ GROANING ]

‐I ‐‐ ‐[ RETCHING ]

MNH‐MNH.

[ RETCHING ]

[ COUGHS ] TASTE IT.

I GET IT.

[ LAUGHS ]

I GET IT, MAMA, I GET IT.

AND YOU TURNED OUT PRETTY GOOD, DIDN'T YOU?

MM, NOT SO MUCH.

HAVE YOU REALLY LOOKED AT THE SIZE OF THAT HEAD?

SORRY.

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY HEAD, UNCLE FLOYD!

YOUR OWN HEAD TALKS ABOUT ITSELF.

"DID YOU SEE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE HEAD?

DAMN, IT'S JUST AS BIG AS US."

[ LAUGHS ]

HUSH, UNCLE FLOYD!

AND BREAK DOWN THE DOOR.

I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO WITH YOUR MAMA.

YOU DO IT.

‐GO AHEAD. ‐HEAD BUTT, GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD. HEAD FIRST.

YOU GOT EXTRA WEIGHT NOW.

SO, WE JUST GONNA STAND HERE

AND ACT LIKE WE DON'T SEE THIS BELLY?

GIRL, WE SEE THAT BELLY.

I WAS BREAKING IN HOUSES

WHEN I WAS PREGNANT WITH YOU MY OWN SELF.

YOU ‐‐ DON'T YOU ‐‐ MM.

‐DREW! ‐UGH.

‐DREW! ‐DAMN, GIRL.

‐DREW! ‐HUSH, DAMN GIRL, HERE.

DAMN SKIPPITY TAXI

AND ANGEL CAN HEAR HER HOLLER.

AH. SHALOM ALEIKHEM.

AS‐SALAAM‐ALAIKUM TO YOU, TOO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?

I ‐‐ I LIVE HERE.

ARE YOU AND DREW GETTING THE HOOK‐UP NOW?

‐NO! ‐NEVER.

THEN WHAT THE HELL YOU DOING IN THERE, SAM?

SAM MOVED IN WITH ME AFTER DANNY PUT HIM OUT.

I KNOW GOOD TEA DAMN WELL

Y'ALL AIN'T MESSIN' AROUND.

'CAUSE YOU KNOW YOU MY SIDE BITCH, SAM.

I COULD NEVER MOVE FAR ENOUGH AWAY.

‐COME ON. ‐WHERE THE HELL DANNY AT?

WE DON'T KNOW.

WELL, WHY COME YOU DON'T KNOW?

WE'RE NOT HIS KEEPER.

YES, HELL, YOU ARE.

I MEAN, Y'ALL SHARED THE SAME TUB

AND THE SAME BED MANY A NIGHTS.

NOW, FLOYD, YOU AIN'T EVEN HAD TO GO THERE.

BUT YOU KNOW I'M TELLING THE TRUTH.

WAIT A SECOND, WAIT A SECOND.

WHAT?

SAM.

YES, MISS LINDA?

I DON'T KNOW.

SOMETHING'S UP.

MNH‐MNH, EVERYTHING'S REAL PEACHY HERE IN GEORGIA, GIRL.

WE DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKIN' ABOUT.

YES, YOU DO, GIRL.

[ SIGHS ] OKAY, FINE.

DANNY'S MAD AT US.

AND FOR WHAT?

WELL, SAM IS THE REASON

THAT YOU AND TROY GOT INTO THAT FIGHT,

AND NOW DANNY DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH US.

I MEAN, HE WON'T TALK TO SAM, HE WON'T TALK TO ME,

AND I'M JUST TORE UP ABOUT IT!

LINDA, MY IMAGINARY BABY DADDY

DON'T WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH ME.

HOW I'M‐A TELL OUR CHILD?

HOW? NO, SERIOUSLY, HOW DID HATTIE BREAK IT TO YOU?

'CAUSE ‐‐ 'CAUSE YOU HAD AN IMAGINARY DADDY, RIGHT?

MAYBE THAT'S WHY HER HEAD SO BIG.

'CAUSE SHE WAS SUCH AN IMAGINATIVE CHILD.

‐IMAGINARY DADDY ‐‐ ‐WAIT A MINUTE, DREW.

IMAGINARY SAID HE GONNA PICK ME UP FROM SCHOOL.

‐OKAY, OKAY. ‐IMAGINARY DADDY GONNA TAKE ‐‐

GO TO SLEEP, GO TO SLEEP!‐ ‐IMAGINARY DADDY ‐‐

GO TO SLEEP!

COME OUT OF IT.

SO, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU AND SAM ARE BEHIND THIS?

SO, YOU AND DREW ARE BEHIND THIS?

NO, I'M NOT. SAM IS.

UH, NO, YOU GAVE HIM UP TOO QUICKLY.

AND THAT'S RIGHT, IT WAS ALL YOUR IDEA.

‐NO, IT WASN'T. ‐YEAH, IT WAS.

YOU KNEW SHE DIDN'T LIKE LINDA'S FOOD.

AND YOU SAID SHE SHOULD GO OVER THERE.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT TROY SAID.

"SHE" SAID THAT "SHE" DON'T LIKE YOUR COOKING.

I'M NOT TALKIN' ABOUT THAT.

I'M TALKIN' ABOUT HOW THESE TWO DONE DID DANNY AND TROY.

SO, WERE YOU ALL REALLY THAT JEALOUS?

YES, FLOYD, SHE WAS.

I MISS MY LITTLE DANNY.

SAM!

STOP IT.

I MISS HIM, TOO, AND WE WERE WRONG,

AND DANNY'S JUST SO SWEET.

YES, HIM IS.

BUT AS FOR MY COUSIN,

I DON'T LIKE THAT LITTLE DUDE.

BUT I MEAN, I GET IT,

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE DID IT OR WHATEVER.

'CAUSE DANNY REALLY DO LIKE HIM.

OH, I‐I MEAN HER.

NOW, YOU KNOW ‐‐

Y'ALL KNOW I NEVER LIKED THAT GIRL, NO.

AND I WAS TRYING. I WAS REALLY TRYING.

I HAD JUST STARTED TO...

KIND OF...

YOU KNOW, SORT OF, SOMETIMES,

AND EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY,

LIKE HER.

AND THEN FOR Y'ALL TO PURPOSELY BAIT US

INTO A FIGHT LIKE THIS, YOU KNOW IT IS WRONG.

THE TWO OF YOU ARE JUST WRONG.

YOU'RE WRONG.

‐OH, THAT'S AN EMMY. ‐YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT'S BRILLIANT.

I'M SORRY. YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M SORRY.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

DID YA HEAR HOW LONG‐WINDED SHE IS?

I WAS SO CLOSE TO HER,

I TASTED IT.

SAM!

SAY YOU SORRY.

OKAY, OKAY, I'M SORRY.

HE'S LYING.

OKAY, OKAY, I'M NOT SORRY.

I HAD HIM FIRST.

HE'S MY FRIEND, AND THIS LITTLE ‐‐

UH‐UH!

‐THIS B‐‐ ‐MM!

‐THIS C‐‐ ‐AH!

‐THIS WH‐‐ ‐UGH!

GIRL! WITH A ‐‐

A SATELLITE DISH OF A FOREHEAD JUST TAKES HIM.

THAT MAN LOVES HIS WIFE, SAM.

DUH!

AND Y'ALL JUST GONNA HAVE TO LEARN TO STAY OUT

THEY DAMN BUSINESS, NOW.

WE DON'T HAVE A CHOICE.

HOW COME YOU AIN'T GOT A CHOICE?

HE'S SO ANGRY, HE DOESN'T WANT TO BE OUR FRIEND ANYMORE.

‐WELL, GOOD. ‐NO!

‐NOT GOOD. ‐NOT GOOD.

NOT GOOD AT ALL, MISS HATTIE.

RIGHT. I LOVE HIM.

YEAH, BUT LORD DON'T ALLOW YOU

TO DO YOUR FRIENDS LIKE THAT NOW.

I NEVER FORGET THAT ONE TIME.

OH, LORD.

HERE WE GO, ONE OF THEM LONG‐ASS STORIES.

SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD. YOU GONNA LISTEN TO MY STORIES.

HATTIE.

I‐I'M WITH THIS HERE MAN,

AND YOU KNOW THAT BASTARD FELL IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND?

I AIN'T GET MAD, I AIN'T ‐‐

‐I AIN'T EVEN GET MAD. ‐MM.

I JUST ALLOWED MYSELF TO ACCEPT THE FACT

THAT HE FELL IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.

HATTIE, THAT'S ‐‐

THAT'S MIGHTY RIGHT OF YOU.

THANK YOU, FLOYD, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT IT'S A DAMN LIE.

NO HELL IT AIN'T, FLOYD.

THERE'S A MAJOR PART OF THIS STORY THAT'S MISSING.

NO HELL IT AIN'T, FLOYD.

YES, IT IS, MAMA.

YOUR BEST FRIEND WAS MARRIED TO THE MAN,

AND YOU BROKE UP THEIR MARRIAGE FIRST.

WHEN HE LEFT YOU, HE WAS GOING BACK TO HIS WIFE.

THAT'S THE MISSING PART OF THE STORY, MAMA.

WELL, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

NOBODY ASKED YOUR OLD MONKEY HEAD

TO BE FILLIN' IN NO BLANKS.

TURNING NO LEVELS AND BANKS.

YOU DIDN'T EVEN ASK ME TO BUY NO BIBLE.

THEM THINGS EXPENSIVE.

THEY $150 APIECE.

LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I AM MAD AT YOU TWO. I AM SO MAD AT YOU TWO.

AIN'T NO USE IN BEING MAD AT THEM.

YOU DONE RUNNING AROUND HERE, ACTING A MONKEY FOOL.

'CAUSE DANNY AND TROY HAD GOTTEN MARRIED.

YEAH, MAMA, BUT I JUST TOLD YOU

THAT I HAD JUST STARTED TO KIND OF COME AROUND

AND SOMETIMES LIKE HER EVERY OTHER WEDNESDAY.

AND THEN THE TWO OF YOU INTENTIONALLY CAUSED THIS RIFT!

OOH, AH, LINDA THE LLAMA.

OH, I WAS SO CLOSE.

POOR BABY DANNY.

HE JUST MUST BE OVER THERE DEVASTATED.

WHEW.

I KNOW.

YOU KNOW, Y'ALL WAS JUST WRONG.

WELL, WE TRIED TO APOLOGIZE.

OKAY, THEN, WELL, WHAT DID HE SAY?

HE WENT OFF ON SAM.

WELL, HE SHOULD HAVE.

OKAY, OKAY, LOOK. I REALLY AM SORRY.

RIGHT, SO HOW DO WE FIX THIS?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU FIX IT WITH HIM,

BUT YOU CAN'T FIX IT WITH ME 'CAUSE BOTH OF Y'ALL ‐‐

BOTH OF Y'ALL ARE ON MY LIST!

‐OH. ‐OW.

DO YOU EVER SWALLOW BEFORE YOU TALK?

I SAW IT COMING.

WELL, ONE THING'S FOR DAMN SURE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO BE ON THE PREGNANT ONE'S LIST!

WELL, WHERE IS DANNY, SAM?

WE THINK HE'S IN THERE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW?

BECAUSE SAM'S BEEN SLEEPING

OUTSIDE OF HIS DOOR EVERY NIGHT.

WAITING FOR HIM TO GET HOME.

AND HE HASN'T, SO WE'RE ASSUMING HE'S IN THERE.

OH, WAIT A MINUTE. HE'S ‐‐

HE'S NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS. HE'S NOT ANSWERING THE DOOR.

HE'S NOT COMING OUT OF THE DOOR ‐‐ WE GOT TO ‐‐

WE GOT TO GET IN THERE. WE GOT TO ‐‐ MA ‐‐

[ PANTING ]

DANNY!

WOW. FIVE SENSES FOR WHAT?

DAMN, LINDA, THAT'S MY EARDRUM.

HELL, IT'S ALL OUR EARDRUMS, BUT WHY CAN'T I SEE NOW?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?!

DAMN, Y'ALL BETTER HOPE HE OPEN THAT DOOR.

‐OH. ‐OH.

DANNY!

DAMN, I HOPE HE OPEN THAT DOOR.

‐DANNY! ‐YO!

WHAT, MAMA?

STOP ALL THAT DAMN HOLLERING.

WELL, MAMA, WE GOT TO GET IN THERE.

I DON'T HAVE THE KEY ANYMORE.

TO NOTHIN'.

I KNOW. NOT EVEN HIS LITTLE HEART.

WELL, WHAT'S GOOD, FLOYD? CAN'T YOU GET IN THERE?

UNH‐UNH, BEEN THERE, DONE THAT.

DAMN, FLOYD, GOOD FOR NOTHING.

I WAS GOOD FOR YOUR MAMA DAUGHTER.

I‐I HAVE A MAMA DAUGHTER?

AH, WHO WASN'T GOOD FOR THAT WHORE?

MOVE IT, PEOPLE.

THE THINGS SHE DID WITH DUCT TAPE AND COUGH DROPS.

DANNY!

[ FAKE CRYING ]

DANNY!

[ FAKE CRYING ]

IT'S ME, MISS PEPPER FROM UPSTAIRS.

I CAN'T SEEM TO FIND MY CAT, LIONEL, ANYWHERE!

HE'S GONE MISSING.

[ FAKE CRYING ]

WHO IN THE HELL IS MISS PEPPER?

OH, THAT'S THE OLD BROAD FROM UPSTAIRS.

SHE GOT ONE LEFT EYE, ONE LEFT ARM,

AND ONE LEFT LEG, BUT SHE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

DAMN.

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO HER?

WELL, SHE TRIED TO STICK HER RIGHT SIDE IN A METH FACTORY,

BLEW THE WHOLE SIDE OFF.

DAMN.

DANNY, DANNY, IT'S ME, MISS PEPPERS.

YOU KNOW I SUFFER FROM MULTIPLE PERSONALITY DISORDER

EVER SINCE THE ACCIDENT AT THE FACTORY.

I AM TRYING TO FIND LIONEL.

I CAN'T FIND HIM ANYWHERE.

I KNOW HE'S NOT ON THE THIRD OR FOURTH FLOOR

'CAUSE THAT'S UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

IF ANYBODY'S HUNGRY, I'VE GOT SOME MEATBALLS,

MATZO, AND SCHEVITZ UPSTAIRS.

DINNER WILL BE READY IN FIVE.

I'M SORRY. FIVE.

OH! MAMA, I ‐‐

I GOT TO ‐‐ HE'S NOT ANSWERING.

I GOT TO GET IN THERE. I'M CALLING THE POLICE.

NUH‐UNH. WAIT, WAIT A DOGGONE MINUTE NOW.

MNH‐MNH, DON'T DO THAT, LINDA.

HE COULD BE HURT IN THERE, MAMA.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT, BUT WE AIN'T CALLIN' NO PO‐PO, HO.

‐WHY NOT? ‐GIRL, YOU KNOW I GOT WARRANTS.

‐MAMA, I'M CALLING THE POLICE. ‐UNH‐UNH, WAIT.

LET ME SEE IF I CAN DO THE THING.

DANNY, BABE?

DANNY, IT'S GRANNY.

I'M FEELING SO SICK ALL OF A SUDDEN, DANNY.

COULD YOU HELP ME, BABY?

OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR!

OKAY, OKAY, I UNDERSTAND

YOU MIGHT HAVE A COUPLE HOES IN THERE,

SO I'LL GIVE YOU TO 10.

‐DANNY! ‐HATTIE?

HE'S NOT COMING OUT, HE'S JUST NOT.

I SAID BABY DANNY!

OH, GOD, I FEEL SO SICK.

DANNY, I FEEL ‐‐ I NEED A LITTLE ‐‐

BABY, DANNY! [ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

OPEN THIS DAMN DOOR, DANNY!

IF YOU DON'T OPEN THIS DOOR ON ME,

I'LL FINNA TEAR THIS BEAST OFF.

DANNY, PLEASE OPEN THE DOOR.

I'M TIRED.

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, DANNY.

♪♪♪♪