Original subtitles

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[ KNOCKS "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT" ]

[ KNOCKS "SHAVE AND A HAIRCUT" ]

[ GUNFIRE ON TELEVISION ]

DO YOU WANT TO GET IT?

ARE YOU GONNA GET SOME PAY CHANNELS?

[ INSISTENT KNOCKING ]

HI.

WHAT UP, LINDA?

HI.

UH, "MISS LINDA".

WHO RAISED YOU?

AREN'T YOU ALL BOUGIE SINCE YOUR MARRIAGE.

MISS. LINDA.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I WAS LOOKING FOR DANNY AND TROY, BUT THEY'RE NOT HOME.

WELL, THEY SHOULD BE BACK ANY MOMENT.

OKAY.

SO, UH, HOW'S THAT GOIN'?

WHAT'S "THAT"?

THAT SITUATION.

WHAT SITUATION, DREW?

OH, COME ON.

THAT THING GROWIN' INSIDE OF YOU.

MY BABY IS FINE.

YOU'LL HAVE TO FORGIVE HER.

THAT'S WHAT HER MOTHER CALLED HER.

YEAH, AND THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL YOU

AT THE FREE CLINIC.

"IT'S HERE FOR ITS ITCH AGAIN."

AT LEAST THEY CALL ME.

YOU TWO, STOP IT. ‐I ‐‐

ST‐‐ ST‐‐ UNH.

HOW LONG HAVE THEY BEEN GONE?

ABOUT AN HOUR.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, I'M NOT GONNA WAIT.

CAN YOU JUST LET THEM KNOW THAT I'D LIKE

TO INVITE THEM OVER FOR DINNER TONIGHT?

YOU KNOW YOU COULD'VE JUST CALLED THEM

AND TOLD THEM THAT, RIGHT?

HOW YOU GONNA COME OVER HERE

AND TELL US ABOUT SOME FOOD THAT WE CAN'T HAVE?

I COULD'VE CALLED THEM. YOU'RE RIGHT.

THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD A CHANCE TO SEE

MY SWEET LITTLE DANNY POO'S FACE!

OR YOUR SWEET LITTLE TROY POO'S FACE!

YEAH, THAT, TOO.

YOU STILL DON'T LIKE HER?

WE GOOD. WE GETTIN' THERE.

OHHH!

WHAT'S "OHHH!"?

NOTHIN'.

SAM!

WHAT IS IT, SAM?

I JUST THINK IT'S STRANGE

THAT YOU'D INVITE HER OVER FOR DINNER,

CONSIDERING SHE HATES YOUR COOKING.

OH, THAT ‐‐ [laughs]

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

[laughing] WHAT?

YE‐E‐S.

SHE DOESN'T HATE MY

COOKING.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

SHE HATES YOUR COOKIN'!

SAYS WHO?

SAYS TROY.

SAM!

WHAT, DREW? YOU KNOW I'M TELLIN' THE TRUTH.

WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

'CAUSE SHE TOLD US.

SAM!

WHAT?! ‐STOP IT!

WHY?

SHE TOLD YOU THAT?

OUT OF HER MOUTH?

SHE TOLD YOU SHE DOESN'T LIKE MY COOKIN'?

YEAH. ME.

AND DREW!

AND, DREW, YOU TOO?

¿Cómo? ¿Qué? ¿Qué pasó?

No hablo inglés.

YOU HEARD ME, SEÑORITA.

HATE IS SUCH A ‐‐

IS SUCH A SKRONG WORD.

IT'S SO SKRONG.

DREW!

WELL, SHE SAID SHE HATES TO EAT YOUR COOKING.

HEY, MAN, THAT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT.

HOW IS THAT?!

TELL HER!

NO.

OKAY, I WILL.

SHE SAID YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT A CALORIE IS ‐‐

HER WORDS ‐‐ AND THAT YOUR COOKIN'

IS FULL OF CARBS,

BAD CARBS ‐‐ HER WORDS ‐‐

AND THAT YOU COOK WITH TOO MUCH SUGAR

AND SALT AND FAT AND LARD.

HER WORDS.

IS THAT SO, SAM?

YEAH.

WELL, SHE SAID IT IN LOVE.

LOVE, A WORD THAT COMES AND GOES.

LO‐LOVE? OH.

OKAY. HUH. HUH‐HUH. OKAY.

SO, WHAT TIME SHOULD WE COME OVER FOR DINNER?

[ CHUCKLE ]

YOU'RE NOT INVITED, SAM.

BUT YOU MAKE SURE THEY'RE THERE BY 7:00.

YOU STILL WANT THEM TO COME?!

OH, YEAH.

I WANT 'EM TO COME.

AND I WANT 'EM THERE ON TIME.

OKAY.

YOU SURE WE COULDN'T SWING...? ‐DEUCES, DUDE.

SAM.

YEAH?

YOU ARE GOING TO HELL.

[laughs] THAT'S A GIVEN.

BUT FOR WHAT, FOR TELLIN' THE TRUTH?

[baby voice] OOH, BABY DANNY GONNA BE SO MAD.

HE GONNA BE SO MAD!

YEAH. HE'S GONNA BE MAD.

AND SO IS TROY.

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

'CAUSE THAT DINNER IS GONNA BE MUY INTERESANTE.

¿Cómo?

No hablo inglés.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE THAT.

WHY? I WAS TELLIN' THE TRUTH!

WHY MUST YOU ALWAYS START SOME CRAP?!

AGH! I'M SORRY!

IT'S JUST ‐‐

I'M ALWAYS REMINDED OF IT WHEN YOU'RE AROUND.

YOU KNOW WHAT? ‐WHAT?

IMMA TELL DANNY WHEN HE GETS BACK.

WH‐‐ NO, YOU'RE NOT!

YES, I AM. I'M GONNA TELL HIM!

‐NO, YOU WON'T! ‐WATCH ME.

TEYA‐‐ GO! HOME!

WHATEVER.

WHEN HE GETS HERE, I'M GONNA CONVENIENTLY

MAKE MY WAY OUT INTO THE HALLWAY.

‐WELL, YOU DO THAT. ‐OKAY, WATCH ME.

‐I'LL WATCH! ‐I'M DOIN' IT.

GO FOR IT.

HE'S GONNA BE THERE. I KNOW IT.

I'LL BET HE MAYBE WON'T.

I'M GONNA TELL DANNY. I'M GONNA TELL DANNY.

‐TELL ‐‐ ‐TELL ME WHAT?

‐HI. ‐OH, YEAH. COME ON IN.

SURE, SURE, SURE, SURE.

[ NERVOUS LAUGHTER ]

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

SAM.

AHHH...

WHAT'S HE DOING NOW?

‐NOTHIN'! ‐MM‐HMM.

HEY, WAS THAT MY MOM'S CAR I SAW PULLIN' AWAY?

YES!

WHAT DOES SHE WANT?

WELL, SHE CAME HERE ‐‐ ‐SHE WANTED TO INVITE

YOU AND TROY OVER FOR DINNER.

REALLY?! ‐YEAH.

YES, BUT THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW.

DREW!

WAIT. SO, SHE WANTED TO INVITE US OVER FOR DINNER?

YES, SHE DID.

INVITED US FOR DINNER. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT!

UHH. I REALLY WANT TO INTERJECT HERE.

THERE'S SOMETHING YOU SHOULD KNOW

BECAUSE SAM ACTUALLY TOLD ‐‐

OH, IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY!

YOU SEE? THAT'S WHAT I'VE ALWAYS WANTED,

FOR YOU AND MY MOM JUST TO GET ALONG.

THESE ARE ANSWERED PRAYERS!

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

‐AH. ‐D‐D‐D‐D‐DANNY!

NO! [grumbles]

THANK YOU!

YOU CAN'T TELL HIM NOW.

WHY NOT? ‐BECAUSE IT'LL BREAK HIS HEART.

YES. WELL, MISS LINDA IS GOING TO BREAK HER FACE

IF SHE SHOWS UP.

[ LAUGHS ]

HEY, YOU GUYS ENJOY DINNER, OKAY?

YEAH, I KNOW LINDA'S FACE IS GONNA BREAK.

SAM, I'M NOT LETTING THIS HAPPEN.

NO. HEY. YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO DANNY.

LOOK AT HIM.

WELL, AS LONG AS YOU KNOW THAT YOU STARTED THIS.

HEY, LET'S JUST SEE HOW IT ALL PLAYS OUT.

THEY MAY GET ALONG.

NOW, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL SHE GONNA PULL

ALL THAT JAMAICAN WEAVE OUT.

SHE'LL HAVE TO CLIMB THAT FOREHEAD TO GET THERE.

AND, HEY, HEY!

I'M NOT A SOOTHSAYER.

I'M A SAMSAYER.

IT MAY JUST WORK OUT. [laughs malevolently]

YOU KNOW YOU HOPIN' IT DON'T.

EVERY NIGHT WHEN I CLOSE MY EYES.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

OOH!

IS YOUR STOMACH HURTIN' AS BAD AS MINE? OH.

YEAH. IT FEEL LIKE SOMETHING MOVING INSIDE THERE.

‐GOODNESS. ‐DAMN.

WAS THAT FISH ALIVE?

THAT WAS FISH?

I THINK SO.

IT FEELS LIKE IT'S SWIMMIN' IN MY STOMACH.

DAMN!

IT'S A SHARK.

WELL, SIT DOWN IN THE CUSHIONS.

OOH. AND ALL THAT SALT. MM!

[LAUGHTER] ‐MM.

MM.

THAT WAS SO GOOD.

‐YEAH. ‐YOU THINK SO?

YEAH. ‐UNH. NOT TOO MUCH SALT?

FAT?

‐[CHUCKLES] ‐HUH?

YOU HEARD ME, HO‐‐ HOL‐‐

HOLD THIS, BABY. ‐OH.

YOU HEARD ME.

OH, NO. I THOUGHT IT WAS GREAT.

UNH. "GREAT"? HUH.

SO GREAT, YOU DIDN'T EAT MUCH.

NO, I HAD ENOUGH, HONESTLY.

MNH. ‐YEAH, WELL, I LOVED IT.

YEAH!

ME TOO, BABY GIRL.

WHAT KIND OF FISH WAS THAT, PIRANHA?

IT WAS CHICKEN.

THAT WAS CHICKEN?!

OH, I DIDN'T KNOW CHICKEN HAD SCALES IN IT.

IT'S CHICKEN FISH?

FICKEN?

NO, FLOYD, IT'S CALLED CHISH.

OH.

THAT WAS SOME GOOD CHISH, BABY.

THAT CHISH WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD.

I JUST WISH IT WAS OUT OF MY STOMACH RIGHT NOW.

EVERYBODY, SHH‐SHH‐‐

[ HICCOUGH ]

WE ALL LOVED IT.

YEAH.

WELL, THIS IS LOVELY. [awkward laugh]

ONE BIG, HAPPY FAMILY.

YES, WE ARE. YES, WE ARE.

WELL, IT'S NICE TO KNOW THAT SOMEBODY

GENUINELY

LIKES MY COOKING.

YEAH. ‐BABY, I DON'T JUST LIKE IT,

I LOVE IT.

YES. WE ALL DO.

GIRL!

HEH.

YES?

NOTHING!

LIN!

SAY THANK YOU.

PANK YOU.

YOU SPIT ON ME, MAMA.

THERE, THERE.

WE GOT THE SAME GERMS.

WELL, CAN I HELP YOU WITH THE DISHES?

UH...

HMM.

IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO.

YOU RIGHT.

IT IS THE LEAST YOU COULD DO.

GIVE US A CHANCE TO TALK A LITTLE BIT.

GOOD.

‐YOU GUYS WANT SOME HELP? ‐NO, THANK YOU.

NAH, BABE. WE GOT IT.

‐WOW. ‐WOW, WHAT?

I MEAN, I'M JUST SURPRISED AT THOSE TWO.

WHAT? ‐I MEAN, YOU KNOW.

YEAH. TO SEE HOW WELL THEY'RE GETTING ALONG?

YEAH. ‐YEAH.

THE EARS OF GOD. ‐MM.

HE'S ON OUR SIDE.

‐HEY. ‐WHOA. HEY.

WHOO! MM.

‐THERE YOU GO, BABY DANNY. ‐MM.

WOW.

THAT PRAISE AIN'T GO NO HIGHER THAN THE CEILING.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO AGREE WITH DANNY.

I'M JUST ‐‐ I'M JUST SO GLAD

TO SEE THOSE TWO HAVIN' A GOOD TIME.

YEAH, ME TOO, PHILIP. ‐YES.

ME TOO. ‐ME THREE.

BUT WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHAT HAPPENED?

I MEAN, HOW'D YOU GET THEM TWO TO TALK?

I JUST ‐‐ ‐OOH.

‐ROLLED UP ON THEM. ‐OH.

AND I SAID, "AYE.

YOU TWO CHICKS, CHECK THIS OUT RIGHT HERE."

UH‐HUH.

I SAID, "Y'ALL NEED TO LEARN HOW TO GET ALONG.

YOU GOT ME?

AIN'T NO IFS ANDS, OR BUTS ABOUT IT.

YOU GOT ME?" ‐WOW.

AND THEN, I JUST BROKE DOWN ON MY PERFORMANCE

AND I SAID, "I'M TIRED OF ALL THIS DRAMA,

ALL THIS DRAMA, ALL THIS DRAMA!"

WAIT A MINUTE.

AND THAT'S IT, WHAT THEY DID, YEAH.

‐WOW. ‐THAT'S WHY I GOT ‐‐

I GOT A STANDING OMATION.

GOT A STANDING OVATION.

WELL, LET ME ASK YOU THIS:

SO YOU SAID IT JUST LIKE THAT?

AYE. I PERFORMED IT JUST LIKE THAT.

WELL, THANK YOU, GRANDMA.

OH, YOU WELCOME, BABY DANNY.

YOU WELCOME. ANYTIME.

SHE HEAVY‐HANDED AS HELL, AIN'T IT?

IT WAS JUST SO HARD WHEN THE TWO OF THEM WEREN'T GETTIN' ALONG.

‐PSSH! ‐YEAH.

YEAH, IT WAS HARD ON BOTH OF US.

YOU TOO?

BOY, YOUR MAMA MISS YOU SO MUCH, BABY DANNY.

WELL, WE DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW.

OOH! I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT.

YEAH. ‐WELL...

WELL, WHAT?

YOU MAY HAVE TO.

MAY HAVE TO WHAT? ‐LISTEN.

Linda: WELL, YEAH, 'CAUSE I ASKED YOU DID YOU WANNA TAKE

SOME OF THIS FRICKIN' FOOD HOME.

OH, HELL. AW!

DON'T "MISS LINDA" ME. "MISS LINDA," NOTHING.

YOU ALWAYS HAVE AN ATTITUDE WITH ME.

IT'S ALWAYS A PROBLEM. ‐OH, AN ATTITUDE?

‐IT IS ALWAYS A PROBLEM. ‐I OFFERED YOU FRICKIN' FOOD.

‐HE‐E‐Y! ‐YEAH? WELL, I DON'T WANT

YOUR FOOD. ‐YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KNOW WHAT?

THAT'LL BE THE LAST TIME I OFFER YOU ANYTHING.

WHAT?! ‐HEY! CHILL.

‐IT'S JUST ALWAYS SOMETHING. ‐NO, IT'S YOUR MOUTH!

THAT'S WHAT IT IS. IT'S YOUR MOUTH!

HEY, WHAT'S GOIN' ON?!

‐ASK YO MAMA. ‐OOH!

DON'T YOU TALK TO MY SON LIKE THAT.

OOH. UH, BABY ‐‐ ‐NO, DON'T ‐‐

DON'T "BABY" ME, DAMN IT! ‐WHAT?

NOW, SHE STARTED IT.

UH, BABY.

ACTUALLY, IT WAS THE CHISH THAT STARTED IT.

WHAT HAPPENED?!

THIS LITTLE HEIFER RIGHT HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED.

DANNY. YOU KNOW WHAT? WE NEED TO GO.

NO. ‐LET'S GO.

NO. MY DANNY IS NOT GOING ANYWHERE.

DANNY. ‐DANNY IS NOT DOIN' THIS AGAIN.

‐CLOSE THAT DOOR. ‐WHAT'S GOING ON?!

CL‐CL‐CL‐‐ DON'T YOU LET MY AIR CONDITIONING

OUT OF THIS HOUSE, GIRL. ‐GIRL, GET OVER HERE.

GET OVER HERE.

[whispering] What's the matter wit' you?

[DOOR SLAMS] ‐NOW.

I OFFERED THIS LITTLE HEIFER SOME OF MY FOOD.

I SAID, "YOU WANNA TAKE SOME FOOD HOME

FOR MY LITTLE BABY DANNY?"

AND SHE SAID, "NO, THANK YOU, MISS LINDA."

PLAYIN' THIS GAME SHE BEEN PLAYIN' HERE ALL NIGHT.

BUT SHE DON'T KNOW THAT I KNOW

THAT SHE TOLD SAM, 'CAUSE SAM AND DREW TOLD ME

THAT SHE TOLD THEM THAT SHE HATES MY COOKIN'.

SHE DON'T KNOW THAT I KNOW THAT, BUT THEY ALREADY TOLD ME

'CAUSE I‐I ASKED THEM AND THEY TOLD ME EARLIER

WHEN I WAS OVER THERE.

MAMA, NO, SHE LIKES YOUR COOKIN'.

RIGHT, BABY?

[COUGHS] ‐OH!

HONEY?

LOOK LIKE SHE FULL OF CHISH.

SEE, BABY? I TOLD YOU.

HELL, I WOULDN'T HAVE ANSWERED YOU, EITHER.

WHY?

WELL, LINDA, YOUR COOKIN'S

A LITTLE ABRASIVE. ‐STOP, FLOYD! No.

PHILIP, DON'T NOBODY WANT NO SHARK IN THEIR TANK.

I'M SPEAKIN' THE TRUTH.

AH, FLOYD.

THE TRUTH GONNA COST YOU TO GET SHANKED.

WHAT, YOU WANT ME TO TELL A LIE?

AW, HELL, YEAH, ON THIS, 'CAUSE YOU ABOUT TO LEAVE

ALL THAT CHISH ON THE FLOOR.

OKAY, WELL, LINDA,

YOUR HEAD IS SMALLER THAN YOUR ASS

AND YOUR ‐‐

YOUR COOKING IS AWESOME?

THAT WORK?

BABY.

OKAY, WHAT IS GOIN' ON? ‐I TOLD YOU!

SHE SAID MY COOKIN' IS TOO SALTY AND IT'S TOO SWEET.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT NO CALORIES AND IF THEY GOOD

AND IF THEY BAD AND THERE'S TOO MUCH FAT.

SHE SAID SHE HATE MY COOKIN', BABY.

SHE SAID SHE HATE MY COOKIN'.

WELL, BABY...

MAMA, YOU ‐‐ YOU AGREE?

I HATE TO BE THE BURIER OF BAD NEWS.

I DID NOT INVITE Y'ALL OVER HERE TO MY HOUSE

TO INSULT ME OR MY COOKIN'.

THIS IS WHY I DON'T SAY ANYTHING.

AND YOU SHOULDN'T.

EVER.

MISS LINDA.

WHO YOU YELLING AT?!

I...DIDN'T HEAR ANYBODY YELL.

LINDA, WAIT. ‐NO, MAMA.

I SAID WAIT A MINUTE!

THIS GIRL IS ENTITLED TO HER OWN OPINION!

UNLESS IT CONTRADICTS WITH HERS.

AH‐‐ GE‐‐

EXCUSE ME?

I'M SO TIRED OF THIS.

WHO YOU YELLING AT?!

[gently] BABY. HONEY.

I THINK SHE JUST SAID, "I'm so tired of this."

COME ON, BABY. LET'S GO. LET'S JUST GO.

NO, DANNY. I‐I SHOULD'VE NEVER SAID THAT,

ABOUT US LEAVIN' BEFORE.

WE NEED TO STAY AND DEAL WITH THIS.

WHAT? ‐WE ALWAYS RUN.

WE NEED TO DEAL WITH THIS.

YOU RIGHT! MY BAD. HEH, HEH, HEH.

TROY. [chuckle]

YOU RIGHT, GIRL.

RUNNING IS THE PROBLEM. THE PROBLEM IS RUNNING.

THE PROBLEM IS YOU RAN OFF WITH MY SON.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM.

MISS LINDA, I'VE BEEN NOTHING BUT NICE TO YOU,

BUT I'M AN ADULT.

OOH, OOH, YEAH. RIGHT, YOU ARE.

YOU ARE, YOU ARE, YOU ARE, YOU AR‐R‐E!

AN ADULT. 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT ADULTS DO!

ADULTS. RUN OFF. LIKE LITTLE CHILDREN

TO VEGAS. TO MARRY. MY BABY!

THAT'S WHAT ADULTS DO, THOUGH, RIGHT?

THAT'S WHAT WE DO, AS ADULTS?

HALLELUJAH.

YES, WE DID.

WHO YOU YELLIN' AND CLAPPIN' AT?!

I DID NOT HEAR ANY OTHER HANDS CLAPPING!

SHE INSULTED MY COOKIN' AND NOW SHE'S MOCKIN' ME.

DID ‐‐ ‐WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WIT' YOU?

IT'S POSTPARTUM.

NOT PRE‐.

LINDA, YOU JUST NEED TO GET OVER IT.

WE ARE MARRIED NOW.

[ Mouthing "No! No!" ]

Oh, damn!

OH, IT'S "LINDA"?

GET YOUR MAMA, SON.

GET YOUR MAMA.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU RIGHT.

YOU AND DREW WERE RAISED BY THE SAME PEOPLE.

FINE.

DANNY, YOU BETTER GET 'ER.

YOU BETTER GET 'ER, DANNY. GET 'ER!

♪♪♪♪

I'VE BEEN DEALIN' WITH THIS

OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Shh, shh! ‐I AM SO TIRED OF THIS.

‐Shh! ‐I HAD TO DEAL WITH SAM

AND HIS NONSENSE;

THEN DANNY, WITH HIS ONESIE.

WHAT?! ‐WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE ‐‐

‐WHAT THE HELL? ‐YES, A ONESIE.

SHE IS BOLD AS HELL.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS FAMILY?

HEY! NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH. ‐DANNY!

YOU DAMN RIGHT, THAT'S ENOUGH, NOW.

YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE. I AM SO OVER THIS.

I'M LEAVING. ‐BABY, WAIT, WAIT.

BE A MAN, SON. BE A MAN.

WHERE YOU GOIN'? ‐BYE, DANNY.

‐TROY! ‐I'M OVER IT.

TROY! WAIT A MIN‐‐

HEY, HEY, HEY! AIR CONDITIONIN'.

SURE GOT A LOT OF NERVE.

THAT MIGHT GET HER ASS WHUPPED IN HERE.

♪♪♪♪

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