Original subtitles

I MEAN, THEY PUT BACON IN A CHEESECAKE.

OH.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THIS?

HE LOOKS PRETTY VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW.

THAT'S MY CUE. [ CHUCKLES ]

DANNY...

[ CHUCKLES ]

DANNY?

MAMA.

MAMA?

I'M NOT INTO THAT.

I'M SORRY.

MAMA, PLEASE. I'M SO SORRY.

DANNY!

GRANDMA?

UGH!

I'VE GOT ‐‐ I'VE GOT HER DNA IN ME.

WAKE UP!

YEAH?

WAKE UP.

HOLD ME, SAM.

NO! GET OFF ME!

YOU'RE GETTING TURNED ON, AREN'T YOU?

EH.

HOW COME YOU NEVER WANT TO TURN ME ON?

'CAUSE YOU'RE NEVER OFF.

YOU NEED TO WAKE UP, MAN.

I AM UP.

YOU WERE HAVING ANOTHER BAD DREAM?

YEAH.

ANOTHER ONE? YEAH.

ON THE WAY TO WORK, DANNY FALLS ASLEEP IN THE CAR

AND HAS THESE SAME NIGHTMARES.

DOES TROY STILL NOT KNOW YOU'RE HAVING THESE DREAMS?

NO. ARE YOU SURE?

NO, SHE DOESN'T.

LISTEN, IF YOU'RE HAVING NIGHTMARES,

SHE SHOULD KNOW.

NO. I'VE BEEN TRYING TO STAY AWAKE DURING THE NIGHTS

AND JUST NAPPING WHEN I CAN.

WHY?

SO SHE DOESN'T KNOW I'M DREAMING OF MY MOM.

WEIRD!

WHAT THE?!

I MISS HER SO MUCH, SAM.

AWW. TOO BAD, SO SAD.

M‐MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TRY AND CALL HER AGAIN

AND APOLOGIZE TO HER. YEAH, TH‐‐

NO! NO!

NO! YOU SHOULDN'T APOLOGIZE EVER.

DON'T BREAK MY PHONE. I'LL BREAK EVERYTHING

WHEN YOU COME UP WITH AN IDEA LIKE THAT.

WAIT. DID YOU SAY "AGAIN?"

DID YOU CALL HER?

YES.

WHAT DID SHE SAY? NOTHING.

SHE'S NOT RETURNING MY CALLS.

SHE JUST HAS THIS EVIL VOICEMAIL THAT SAYS, "HI.

YOU'RE REACHED LINDA. LEAVE A MESSAGE.

UNLESS YOU'RE DANNY. YOU CAN GO TO HELL."

[ SIGHS ] WELL, MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST.

I MEAN, YOU SPOKE YOUR MIND, AND I THINK THAT'S FINE.

YEAH, BUT I JUST HURT HER BIG, PREGNANT, HORMONAL FEELINGS.

YOU STOOD YOUR GROUND FOR YOUR...WIFE?

YEAH, BUT IT'S KILLING ME.

I MISS HER SO MUCH.

I KNOW.

I KNOW.

MY MOM AND I, WE'VE NEVER ARGUED.

I KNOW!

STOP IT, SAM. THIS IS MY MOTHER.

WHO HATES YOU RIGHT NOW.

I KNOW.

I KNOW!

♪♪♪♪

YOUR MOTHER DOES NOT HATE YOU.

YOU SURE? 'CAUSE SHE'S NOT RETURNING ANY OF MY CALLS.

WELL, THAT'S A TRUE SIGN OF HATE, IF YOU ASK ME.

THIS IS CRAZY.

I KNOW.

I LOVE IT.

I MEAN, JUST CONSIDER THE FACT THAT SHE'S PREGNANT.

SHE IS GOING THROUGH A LOT.

I KNOW, BUT DO YOU THINK I'M DOING THE RIGHT THING?

WELL, YOU LOVE TROY, RIGHT?

OR DO YOU?

THIS IS MY LAST ATTEMPT RIGHT HERE.

YEAH, I DO. IS THAT THE STANKY LEG?

THEY BOTH ARE.

AND THERE'S PLENTY MORE STANK WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

WHAT?!

WELL? DO YOU LOVE TROY?

YEAH, I DO. ALL RIGHT, WELL,

THEN I GUESS YOU MADE THE RIGHT DECISION.

YOU'RE RIGHT, DREW.

I WOULDN'T BE SO SURE ABOUT THAT.

SAM... NO!

HELEN OF TROY BROUGHT DOWN A GREAT NATION.

THIS COULD BE A REPEAT.

A LITTLE LESS GREAT.

SAM, STOP IT.

HE WAS STANDING UP FOR HIS WIFE.

THAT'S... COOL OR WHATEVER.

BUT, UH, SHE'LL COME AROUND.

YOU'RE RIGHT, DREW.

I KNOW. WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T?

WELL, THEN YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO FIGURE IT OUT, SPORT.

[ LAUGHS ] YEAH.

YOU'LL BE A 25‐YEAR‐OLD ORPHAN.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S BETTER THAN BEING A 25‐YEAR‐OLD VIRGIN.

[ MUSIC PLAYING ON TV ]

EVERYBODY'S CHEATING ON BRAD.

DANNY?

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP?

I WAS, UH...

WHAT?

NOTHING.

WELL, COME TO BED.

NO. I'M GOOD.

DANNY, COME TO BED.

TWO BOUNCES.

I'M JUST GONNA STAY OUT HERE.

DANNY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT?

I LOOK FOR YOU EVERY NIGHT, AND YOU'RE NOT IN THE BED.

I'M NOT?

NO.

YES, I AM.

NO, YOU'RE NOT. YOU COME IN THERE,

AND THEN WHEN I FALL ASLEEP, YOU GET OUT OF BED.

IS EVERYTHING OKAY?

YEAH, IT'S ‐‐ IT'S FINE.

YOU KNOW THIS DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL GOOD.

IT'S ‐‐ IT'S WORK.

IT'S WORK? YEAH.

WORK.

SO, YOU'RE WORKING ON A PROJECT?

YEAH.

BOOM.

DANNY, THAT PAPER IS BLANK.

YEAH, I KNOW. I NEED MORE IDEAS!

ARE YOU SURE?

YEAH.

OKAY, 'CAUSE YOU KNOW WE DON'T LIE TO EACH OTHER.

NO, WE DON'T.

OKAY.

WELL, IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU ALREADY STARTED.

HIM.

HI, TROY.

HI, SAM.

GO TO BED, SAM.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING UP?

WISHING YOUR ASS WAS DEAD...

ASLEEP.

WELL, I'M ALIVE...

AWAKE.

'CAUSE YOU WOKE ME UP.

WE'RE SORRY, SAM.

COME ON TO BED, DANNY. YEAH, DANNY.

GO ON TO BED.

NO, I'M ‐‐ I'M FINE HERE.

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

YES, I AM.

YOU'RE NOT. YOU NEED TO GET SOME SLEEP,

'CAUSE YOU'RE STAYING UP ALL NIGHT

AND YOU'RE FALLING ASLEEP AT THE OFFICE.

SHH.

SAM! WHAT?!

STOP IT.

SORRY!

ARE YOU, DANNY?

WELL...

YES.

SAM.

TELL HER.

YEAH, I AM. IS IT ME?

YEAH, IT'S YOU, YOU ‐‐

STOP.

STOP IT RIGHT NOW, AND I MEAN IT.

OKAY, OKAY.

NOW, GET OUT OF HERE NOW WITH THAT TINY‐ASS T‐SHIRT.

WAIT. IS THAT MY T‐SHIRT?

IT WAS.

OKAY. OKAY.

I'M GONE. THANK YOU...

YOU JUDAS.

YOU'RE WELCOME...

YOU...JESUS.

WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT?

NOTHING, HONEY.

OBVIOUSLY IT'S SOMETHING. WHAT IS IT?

NO, IT'S ‐‐ IT'S FINE.

BABE, YOU DON'T LIKE SLEEPING WITH ME?

NO, NO. IT'S...FINE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THEN COME TO BED.

TROY...

BABE, COME ON.

OKAY.

COME ON, BABE.

OKAY.

GET INTO BED.

COME GET IN BED. I'M COMING.

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT, BABE.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, BABE.

GOOD NIGHT, BOO.

DANNY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I'M JUST SLEEPING HOW HORSES DO.

STANDING UP.

REALLY HELPS BUILD THEIR STAMINA...

FOR WHEN PEOPLE ARE RIDING THEM.

WELL, YOU WON'T BE RIDING ANYTHING IF YOU DON'T GO TO SLEEP.

OKAY. I'LL GO TO SLEEP.

CLOSE YOUR EYES.

NOW SLEEP.

DANNY, IF YOU DON'T LAY YOUR ASS DOWN...

YOU'RE SO GHETTO.

ALL THE WAY.

LOWER.

LOWER.

LOWER, SUCKA.

BABY, THIS REMINDS ME OF OUR HONEYMOON.

I FEEL SO VIOLATED.

GO TO SLEEP.

OKAY.

[ SNORING ]

WHAT THE HELL?!

DANNY. MAMA, NO.

I'M SORRY. I'M SO SORRY.

I MISS YOU, MAMA.

OH, THAT'S WHAT IT IS.

MAMA, I'M SO SORRY.

I MISS YOU.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH.

[ SNORING ]

I'M GONNA KILL YOU.

DANNY, WHAT?

YOU MADE ME GO TO BED LAST NIGHT.

OH!

OH, YEAH. NO, NO, NO.

PUNISH ME.

I‐I MADE YOU... SLEEP WITH YOUR WIFE.

SHE HEARD ME LAST NIGHT. DOING WHAT?

DREAMING OF MY MOM.

I TOLD YOU THAT WAS WEIRD.

NOW, I KNOW SHE'S UPSET.

WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BECAUSE WHEN I WOKE UP, SHE WAS GONE.

YEAH!

BRAINSTORMING.

WHERE DID SHE GO?

I DON'T KNOW, GENIUS.

DID YOU CALL HER?

YEAH, BUT SHE'S NOT RETURNING MY CALLS.

NOW YOU GOT TWO WOMEN THAT AREN'T ANSWERING YOUR CALLS.

WELL, IF SHE DOESN'T CALL BACK WITHIN THE HOUR [CHUCKLES]

YOUR LUNGS ARE GONNA HAVE A PROBLEM

ANSWERING THE CALL OF OXYGEN.

[ INHALING ]

[ EXHALES DEEPLY ]

Hattie: [ CHUCKLES ]

THAT PERM JUST WENT BAD, DIDN'T IT?

HEY, BABY.

HEY, MAMA. HEY.

HEY, FLOP.

HEY.

WHAT Y'ALL DOING HERE?

DON'T WORRY, MAMA.

I DIDN'T COME HERE TO WORK.

WHEN YOU WAS WORKING HERE, YOU AIN'T DO NO WORK.

SHUT UP, UNCLE FLOYD.

I JUST CAME TO PICK UP MY MEDICAL CARD.

IT SHOULD HAVE COME IN THE MAIL. YEAH, IT BACK THERE ON THE DESK.

OKAY.

HEY, THAT WAS MY BEAUTIFUL BABY GIRL.

OH, SHE'S SO SWEET.

JUST THE SWEETEST BABE I EVER HAD.

[ LAUGHS ]

SO, HOW'S IT GOING WITH HER CRAZY ASS?

WHOO!

SHE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

REALLY? MM‐HMM.

I MEAN, OTHER THAN THAT, SHE'S FINE.

GOOD.

SO, DID YOU, UH, LEARN ANYTHING FROM THIS?

YEAH, I DON'T NEVER WANT TO GET HER PREGNANT AGAIN

EVER IN MY LIFE.

EVER EVER? I MEAN EVER.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD THING, FLIP.

WHAT ELSE YOU LEARN? WHAT ELSE YOU LEARN?

I LEARNED HOW TO AGREE, TO AGREE,

AND AGREE SOME MORE WHEN I'M AGREEING...TO AGREE.

AND NEVER DISAGREE.

WELL, BUDDY, YOU GOT YOUR DEGREE.

SMART MAN. SMART MAN.

THANK YOU.

I‐I DON'T UNDERSTAND. LINDA ‐‐ JUST ‐‐

SHE'S SO MEAN.

AFTER THAT BABY BEEN PRESSURED

AND PUSHING ALL AGAINST THAT WATER BACK,

MAKE YOU WANT TO KILL.

HATTIE, CUSTOMERS, MAN.

I'M SORRY.

OKAY. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I WANT Y'ALL TO STOP IT, ALL RIGHT?

SHE BEEN IN A REAL GOOD MOOD.

LORD KNOWS I DON'T WANT TO UPSET HER.

WELL, YOU SURE FINNA BE UPSET.

WHY?

TOO LATE. LOOK.

DAMN!

[ LAUGHS ]

HEY, TROY.

HI. HEY.

WE GOT TO GET RID OF HER BEFORE LINDA COME BACK.

WELL, TAKE HER OUT THE BACK.

Good idea.

OH. TOO LATE.

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

HI.

I CAME HERE TO TALK TO YOU.

PHILIP. MA'AM.

LET'S GO.

UM, YOU SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK TO THE GIRL?

AGREE. AGREE.

AGREE. AGREE.

A...

A...GREE.

YOU RIGHT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO TALK TO HER.

MOVE TO THE GIRL!

BABY, YOU WANT SOMETHING TO DRINK?

NO, THANK YOU.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

WELL, HOW YOU DOING?

I'M FINE.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG?

HER.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOUR DAUGHTER. WHAT ABOUT HER?

YOU KNOW WHAT? NEVER MIND.

NO. GO ON, NOW, BABY.

I KNOW WHEN SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

IT'S FINE.

YOU SURE?

YES.

I MIGHT NOT KNOW A WHOLE LOT ABOUT NOTHING,

BUT I KNOW WHEN SOMETHING AIN'T RIGHT.

NOW, OUT WITH IT.

I JUST FEEL LIKE I COME SEE YOU FOR A LOT.

MOST PEOPLE DO...

ESPECIALLY MY MEN.

THEY SAY I GIVE GOOD ‐‐ HATTIE!

ADVICE!

GO ON AWAY FROM HERE, FLOYD.

WHAT'S GOING ON, BABY?

WELL, DANNY MISSES HIS MAMA. YEAH.

I KNOW THAT. YEAH.

THEY HAVEN'T BEEN SPEAKING MUCH EVER SINCE WE GOT MARRIED.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT, TOO.

AND HE LOVES HER SO MUCH, HE'S BEEN HAVING NIGHTMARES.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT, TOO.

YEAH, AND THEY WERE SO CLOSE.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT, TOO.

UNTIL I CAME INTO THE PICTURE.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT, TOO.

I JUST WANT TO HELP THEM BE HAPPY AGAIN.

WELL...

YOU THINK SHE'LL TALK TO ME?

WELL...

NO, REALLY, MISS HATTIE.

WE‐E‐E‐ELL...

I'LL GET HER TO TALK TO YOU.

NO, HELL, YOU WON'T.

YES, I WILL.

NO, HELL, YOU WON'T.

FLOYD, WHAT DID I SAY?

YOU SAID YOU'D GET HER TO TALK TO HER.

AND THAT'S WHAT THE HELL I MEAN.

NOW, HOW YOU GONNA DO THAT?

WELL...

...I'M GONNA PRAY.

I'M GONNA GO DOWN ON MY KNEES.

MAKE SURE YOU PRAYING.

I'VE BEEN DOWN ON MY KNEES FOR A LOT OF THINGS.

SAY THAT.

BUT, FLOYD,

RIGHT NOW, I'M TALKING ABOUT PRAYER.

COME ON.

I'M TALKING GOING UP IN A HIGHER REALM!

THAT'S RIGHT.

I'M GOING UP ABOVE THE CLOUDS,

WHERE THE EAGLES FLY ON A MOUNTAIN HIGH.

WHOO! PUT YOUR HANDS UP. GET THEM UP.

GOT TO BELIEVE.

YES.

YOU FEEL THAT?

YES.

AND SHE'S BACK.

YOU BELIEVE?

YOU BELIEVE I'M GONNA TALK TO LINDA?

YES, MAMA HATTIE. YES.

AND YOU GONNA BE HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

SHOUT ALL THE WAY OUT.

SHOUT!

BYE!

MAKE SURE YOU SEE ME AND MY AURA, PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

THIS'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

NO, IT WON'T.

IT'LL WORK ITSELF OUT.

NOW, HATTIE, YOU KNOW DAMN WELL...

YOU AIN'T GONNA GET LINDA TO TALK TO THAT GIRL.

YEAH, I KNOW THAT, SPORT.

THEN WHY DID YOU TELL HER THAT?

'CAUSE I WILL GET LINDA TO TALK TO HER.

NOW, YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY THAT GIRL'S BEEN SINCE SHE BEEN PREGNANT.

AND DO YOU KNOW HOW CRAZY I'VE ‐‐

LET ME FINISH, SIR.

HOW CRAZY YOU'VE BEEN SINCE YOU'VE BEEN BORN.

E‐E‐E‐EXAC‐A‐DY.

"F" AND "Ds" YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH.

MM.

SO, LIKE I SAID, SHE WILL TALK TO THAT GIRL.

STAY OUT OF THEIR BUSINESS.

I'M ALREADY IN THEIR BUSINESS.

AND I GOT THIS HERE, FLOYD, BELIEVE ME.

I'M GONNA TAKE CARE OF THIS, HERE.

YOU GONNA MAKE THIS A BIGGER MESS

THAN WHAT YOU ALREADY STARTED IT TO BE.

FLOYD, HOW ABOUT GETTING YOU SOME DAMN BUSINESS

AND LETTING ME TAKE CARE OF THIS HERE?

BABY, MY NAME HATTIE MAE JUWANA

LOU ANTHONY COLEMAN BROWN LOVE.

AND I'VE GOT THIS HERE.

'CAUSE I'M A P‐I‐MEM‐P.

I'M A PIMP.