Original subtitles

FLOYD!

[ SIGHS ]

YES, DEMON?

DID YOU DO WHAT I ASKED YOU TO DO?

NO, I DID NOT.

WHY NOT THEN, FLOYD?

I AM NOT COMIN' TO YOUR HOUSE BUTT‐NAKED AFTER DARK.

AH, HELL, FLOYD.

I WAS DRUNK WHEN I ASKED YOU TO DO THAT.

DON'T TRY TO COOL OFF MY KITTY.

HEY.

HEY, MAMA.

[ GRUNTS ]

WELL, HELLO TO YOU, TOO.

WHAT'D SHE JUST SAY?

YOU DON'T SPEAK PIT BULL?

NO. HEY.

SIT DOWN, BABY.

HMM. OKAY. DON'T TIP OVER.

‐TAKE THAT. ‐ALL RIGHT.

‐BACK IT UP. ‐CAREFUL.

‐THERE YOU GO. ‐BACK IT UP.

THERE YOU GO.

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

‐STOP. ‐BEEP.

Shh!

LONG AS SHE DON'T ‐‐ [ IMITATES TRUCK HORN ]

WELL, WHAT THE DOCTOR SAY?

MAMA, SHE'S FINE.

THAT GOOD.

THAT BABY GONNA BE HERE IN A WHILE, AIN'T HE?

OH, I CAN'T WAIT. MM!

‐YEAH. ‐YOU KNOW WHAT?

I THINK IT'S A GOOD TIME FOR US TO PRAY.

OH.

THAT'S NICE OF YOU, FLOYD.

NICE.

‐DEAR HEAVENLY FATHER... ‐MM‐HMM.

GOD OF ABRAHAM, ISAAC, AND JACOB...

WELL...

LORD, WE JUST COME TO YOU, BEGGING YOU,

THAT THE BABY'S HEAD DOES NOT COME OUT AS BIG AS LINDA'S.

WHAT?

THAT BABY AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO WALK TILL IT'S 10.

‐UNCLE FLOYD! ‐HMM?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY HEAD?

SHE DON'T KNOW.

BABY, YOU SURE BETTER PRAY THAT BABY HEAD

DON'T COME HERE THAT SIZE.

[ Voice breaking ] I'M STILL TRYING TO RECOVER

FROM WHAT YOU DID TO ME.

COME ON. DON'T GET WORKED UP.

YOUR HEAD WAS SO BIG

IT DISCONNECTED MY HIP BONE

FROM MY THIGH BONE.

THEN MY THIGH BONE DISCONNECTED MY KNEE BONE.

AND ALL THE BONES JUST DISCONNECTED AT ONE TIME.

WHAT YOU DID TO ME,

IT GONNA COME BACK ON YOU.

DON'T PUT THAT ON HER. DON'T PUT THAT ON HER.

♪♪♪♪

‐HEY. ‐HEY.

‐HEY. ‐HEY, YOUNG PEOPLE.

‐HI. ‐I'M STARVING.

WELL, THAT'S STRANGE.

SHE DON'T NEVER WANT NO SAMMICHES OR NOTHIN'.

SO YOU WANT THE USUAL?

YES, PLEASE.

UH, COME SIT WITH US.

COME ON. COME ON. SCOOCH.

OH.

DON'T MIND IF I DO.

‐HEY, BABE. ‐OH, HEY.

HI, EVERYONE.

‐HEY. ‐EH. NOBODY LIKES YOU.

UH, BABY, YOU JOINING ME FOR LUNCH?

YES.

Both: SAM!

YES?

GET THE HELL UP.

THAT GIRL WANT TO SIT WITH HER HUBBEN.

HUSBAND.

OH. [ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY. YEAH.

SURE, SURE, SURE.

SURE, SURE. ‐OKAY.

‐ONE MORE. ‐ALL RIGHT.

‐WHAT THE HELL? ‐IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.

IT'S ALWAYS LIKE THIS.

WHAT?

APPARENTLY SHE DON'T LIKE THAT NOT ONE BIT EITHER.

HMM.

SEEM LIKE THERE'S TROUBLE IN HAIR‐ADISE.

WHAT ARE THEY, SOME SORT OF PRIMATES?

♪♪♪♪

Y'ALL ENJOY Y'ALL LERNCH?

EH.

WELL, HOW 'BOUT YOU DON'T COME HERE TO EAT ANYMORE, DREW.

WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I TELL THEM,

[ As Mama Hattie ] "WE SHOULDN'T EAT HERE ANYMORE, DREW.

JUST YOUS."

BUT YET, YOU SHOW YOUR ASS UP.

[ As Mama Hattie ] JUST YOUS.

OKAY. WE'RE GONNA GO.

YEAH.

‐BYE, BABY. ‐BYE, MAMA.

‐OKAY. ‐HOLD THIS.

HOLD ON. CAREFUL, BABY. WAIT A MINUTE.

‐BEEP. ‐HEY.

BEEP.

WHOOP!

Shh!

DIDN'T MATCH MY SHOES ANYWAY.

FLOYD.

BYE, MISS LINDA.

UNH‐UNH. Y'ALL GON' PAY ME!

FOR WHAT? WE DIDN'T EAT.

YEAH, BUT YOU SAT THERE IN THAT BENCH.

YOU SUCKED UP MY GOOD, COOL AIR CONDITION.

[ BABBLES ]

DIDN'T I FIX IT FOR FREE?

OH, Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO JUST ABLE

TO WALK UP OUT OF HERE LIKE THIS HERE.

THE HELL?

OH, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE ME MY MAN.

WAIT A MINUTE. LIN.

OH, I SEE WHY YOU SWOLL. OOH.

LOOK AT THAT. BOY, LOOKY HERE.

THING NASTY, FOR REAL.

YOU SHUT UP. THAT MY SON‐IN‐LAW.

WE SHARE THINGS.

OH!

SAM.

YES?

DID YOUR SOUP LIPS ENJOY YOUR LERNCH?

YES. [ CHUCKLES ]

WHY?

WELL, PRETTY SURE TROY DIDN'T ENJOY HERS.

AW. WHY NOT?

BECAUSE SHE WANTED TO SIT WITH HER HUBBEN.

JUST PUT YOUR HAND IN FRONT OF YOUR MOUTH WHEN YOU YAWN.

‐IT'S MY ‐‐ ‐HUSBAND. OH.

YEAH.

WELL [ CHUCKLES ]

WHATEVER.

[ LAUGHS ]

Floyd: WHEW. MM.

SAM, YOU REALLY SHOULDN'T BE IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM.

RIGHT.

WELL, HE ALWAYS IS.

ANYWAY, I NEED TO GET BACK TO WORK.

I'LL GO WITH YOU.

THANKS, CUZ.

EVEN THOUGH YOU DID TAKE MY MAN FROM ME.

I DIDN'T FORGET.

STOP IT, DREW. COME ON. LET'S GO.

W ‐‐ WAIT, HONEY. I'LL COME WITH YOU.

NO, DANNY.

WE GOT TO GET BACK TO WORK.

WELL, I'LL MEET YOU THERE.

HEY!

I RODE WITH YOU, MAN.

SO TAKE MY CAR. I'LL TAKE TROY'S CAR.

‐I DON'T WANT TO DO THAT. ‐YEP. I'LL TICKLE YOU.

‐TICKLE YOU. ‐I'M COMING WITH YOU, MAN!

HEY. HEY.

‐COME ON. ‐HEY!

I DON'T LIKE THAT. ALL RIGHT.

I'M COMING WITH YOU.

NO THE HELL YOU AIN'T EITHER, SAM.

MISS HATTIE.

LET THEM GO.

‐BUT ‐‐ ‐BUT NOTHING.

I GOT A NICE BUTT FOR YOU, SAM.

I DON'T WANT YOUR BUTT.

I WANT ‐‐ ‐YOU LOOKY HERE, SAM.

YOU NEED TO STAY OUT THE MIDDLE OF DANNY AND TROY.

EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND, YOU SLAP DEAD IN THE MIDDLE.

STAY IN IT AND SEE WHAT HAPPEN TO YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

THAT IS THAT MAN'S WIFE.

IS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU WANT TO TELL US, SAM?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

LEAVE DANNY AND TROY ALONE. LET THEM BE TOGETHER.

HEY.

I'VE BEEN CLOSE WITH DANNY WAY BEFORE SHE GOT HERE.

OH.

OH IS IT, FLOYD.

WHAT'S IT, FLOYD?

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE...

JEALOUS.

WHAAAAAAT?

YES, YOU ARE.

DAMN SURE IS.

NO, I AM NOT.

YES, THE HELL YOU ARE. YOU MIGHT AS WELL ACCEPT IT.

ME? JEALOUS OF DANNY?

NO. I AM HAPPY FOR HIM. I REALLY AM.

WE NOT TALKIN' ABOUT DANNY.

WHO ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT TROY.

WHAAAAAAT?

YESSSSS.

FORGOT. ‐GET THAT FIXED.

SHE'S A GIRL.

THAT'S TAKING YOUR FRIEND AWAY.

NO, SHE IS NOT.

YES, SHE HAS.

SAM, YOU MIGHT AS WELL ACCEPT THE FACT DANNY IS GROWN UP NOW,

AND HE HAS A WIFE,

AND Y'ALL AIN'T GONNA BE ABLE TO DO THE THINGS

THAT Y'ALL USED TO DO TOGETHER.

WHEW. AND I SHUDDER TO THINK OF SOME OF THE THINGS

Y'ALL USED TO DO TOGETHER.

SAM, IF YOU STAY IN THE MIDDLE OF IT,

TROY IS GONNA SEPARATE Y'ALL

AND MAKE SURE YOU DON'T SPEND NO TIME TOGETHER.

WHAT?

SHE'S RIGHT.

DID YOU NOT SEE THE LOOK THAT SHE GAVE YOU?

HMM?

I DON'T LIKE YOU COMING THAT CLOSE TO ME

WHEN I'M TURNED THIS WAY.

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I'M NOT DANNY.

WHAT LOOK?

THE LOOK OF...

IF YOU DON'T LEAVE MY MAN ALONE,

I'M GONNA STAB YOUR EYES,

AND IT'S GONNA BE CONSEQUENCES AND REPERCUSSIONS,

AND SOMEBODY GONNA BE COMIN' TO GET YOU

'CAUSE YOU GON' NEED SOME HELP.

♪♪♪♪

♪♪♪♪

SAM, DON'T NO WOMAN WANT HER FRIENDS

COMING UP IN THE MIDDLE OF HER AND HER MAN

WHILE SHE TRYING TO SPEND TIME WIT HIM!

AH. WAIT. THAT'S NOT TRUE.

PLENTY OF MY WOMEN WANT MY MENS COMING UP IN THE MIDDLE

WHEN SHE'S TRYING TO SPEND TIME WITH ME.

IT'S CALLED SWINGING!

MM, MM, MM!

SAM, WHEN YOU GON' LET ME IN ON A COUPLE THEM PARTIES?

HEY.

I SAID SWINGIN', NOT WHEELCHAIRIN'.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SAM, STOP. SERIOUSLY.

YOU HAD TO HAVE SEEN THAT LOOK.

THAT "I HATE YOU" LOOK.

LOOK, DANNY LOVES ME. OKAY?

AND ‐‐ AND HE WOULD NEVER TURN HIS BACK ON ME,

MARRIED OR NOT.

OH. HE GON' TURN HIS BACK ON YOU

'CAUSE SHE GON' HAVE HIM ON HIS BACK.

BELIEVE ME. THAT'S A POWERFUL THING NOW.

UGH.

ASK ME. I KNOW.

RODEO, RODEO.

IT'S THE COWGIRL. IT'S THE COWGIRL.

GO BACK TO YOUR BARN.

YOUR POWERS HAVE MELTED WITH AGE

JUST LIKE GRAVITY HAS TAKEN OVER YOUR CHEST.

KNEECAPS.

YOU WANT TO BET, FLOYD?

NO. NO.

I DONE TOLD YOU, "YOU CAN'T HAVE NONE OF THIS, FLOYD."

THANK YOU.

YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS, RIGHT HERE, FLOYD.

‐NO! NO! ‐OH, NO, NO, NO, NO!

WE HAVE CUSTOMERS.

THEY PERKY!

LOOK.

DANNY IS MY FRIEND, AND HE WOULD NEVER TURN HIS BACK ON ME.

AND WHY ARE WOMEN SO SENSITIVE?

[ LAUGHS ]

[ Lisping ] WHY ARE SOME MEN SO SENSITIVE?

AH.

WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, FLOYD?

LEAVE DANNY AND TROY ALONE. THEY NEED THEIR SPACE!

NO.

YOU'RE WRONG ABOUT THIS.

YOU'RE WRONG.

YOU'LL SEE.

OKAY.

SHOOT YOURSELF.

SUIT YOURSELF, SAM.

♪♪♪♪

YOU ARE SO FUNNY, DANNY.

YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU.

AS MUCH AS I LOVE YOU?

[ SCOFFS ] MAYBE MORE.

MNH‐MNH.

NOT POSSIBLE. [ CHUCKLES ]

AND HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

OH. IT WAS FANTASTIC.

SAM AND I WENT TO THE PAINTBALL PLACE!

IT WAS SO ‐‐ IT WAS FUN.

I THOUGHT YOU HAD TO WORK.

YEAH, BUT WE LIKE TO GO THERE TO RELAX SOMETIMES.

WELL, GOOD.

YOU AND SAM.

YEP. THAT'S MY LITTLE, BIG BUDDY.

HMM.

I SEE.

SO WHERE IS HE? ‐AH, HE'S AT WORK.

TOO MUCH TIME AT PAINTBALL, NOT ENOUGH TIME BEHIND THE DESK.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

HMM. REALLY?

YEAH. HE'S WORKING ON A PROJECT.

THAT'S GOOD.

NO. NOT GOOD. I WANTED TO STAY AND HELP HIM.

BUT ‐‐ ‐BUT WHAT?

I HAD TO COME AND PICK YOUR ASS UP.

BUT I MISSED YOU, BOO.

AND I MISSED YOU, TOO, DANNY.

GIRL, STOP.

I DID.

REALLY?

YES, DANNY. STOP IT.

LIKE, REALLY MISS ME?

NO, BUT I DID MISS YOU, TOO.

MM. YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU, RIGHT?

YES, I DO.

‐AND WE'RE MARRIED NOW. ‐YES.

CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?

‐YES, I CAN. ‐MM‐HMM.

‐MM‐HMM. ‐YEAH.

GIRL, WHAT YOU GOT ON UNDER THERE?

NOTHIN'.

OOH. I'M SCARED OF YOU.

YOU GON' CATCH A COLD.

WELL, YOU CAN KEEP ME WARM.

OOH. YES, I CAN.

BUT YOU KNOW IT GETS REALLY CHILLY IN THE APARTMENT.

OR YOU CAN MAKE IT REALLY HOT.

I SEE WHAT YOU SAYIN'.

MM‐HMM.

JUST SAM DON'T REALLY LIKE THE HEAT ON.

‐DANNY. ‐NO, REALLY.

I MEAN, WE ARGUE ABOUT THIS ALL THE TIME.

I MEAN, MY PORES, LIKE, I SWEAT SO MUCH,

IT'S LIKE MY GRANDMA IN CHURCH.

YOU ARE REALLY TAKING THE ROMANCE OUT OF THIS.

NO, NO. I'M SORRY.

BUT YOU GOT ON A DRESS WITH NOTHIN' UP UNDER IT.

YOU CAN GET UP‐DRAFT AND THEN GET SICK.

DANNY, ARE YOU PAYING ATTENTION?

YEAH.

I'M JUST LOOKING OUT FOR YOU, BOO.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST GO PUT SOME DRAWS ON OR SOMETHING.

OR MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET NAKED AND KEEP ME WARM.

WHAT?!

[ CHUCKLES ]

DO YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO A MAN WHEN IT GETS COLD?

[ High‐pitched ] ALL THE WAY UP HERE.

THEN COME KEEP ME WARM.

[ Normal ] OOH.

OKAY. BUT YEAH, I GOT TO CALL SAM FIRST.

FOR WHAT?

TO MAKE SURE HE'S NOT COMING HOME EARLY.

‐DANNY. ‐NO. LOOK.

I'LL BE RIGHT HERE. I JUST NEED TO DIAL IT.

CALL MY BEST BUDDY.

HEY, SAM?

SAM: Hey, buddy!

HEY, BUDDY!

What you calling about? Is it cold in there?

WHAT TIME YOU DONE?

Aw, man.

It'll be hours.

OKAY. GREAT.

What? Why? What's going on, man?

[ CHUCKLES ] NOTHIN'.

Oh. You and troy about to get freaky, man!

NO.

Danny!

ALL RIGHT. LOOK. I GOT TO GO.

What? Where you going?

UH, LOOK.

I'LL SEE YOU WHEN YOU GET HOME.

WE CAN PLAY PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY.

You better not be pinnin' no tails in no donkey.

OH!

GOODBYE.

HE'S NOT COMING HOME EARLY.

GOOD.

YES, IT IS.

YOU KNOW, DANNY, YOU GIVE SAM A LOT OF CONSIDERATION.

WELL, YEAH. HE'S MY FRIEND.

YEAH. I KNOW.

‐AND HE'S GOT A GOOD HEART. ‐YEAH.

I KNOW THAT, TOO.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG?

[ SIGHS ] NOTHING.

HE'S JUST ‐‐

NO. HE'S JUST WHAT?

I DON'T REALLY WANNA S‐‐

BABY, JUST COME ON. TELL ME.

‐HE ‐‐ I DON'T ‐‐ ‐COME ON, BABY.

JUST SPIT IT OUT. ‐HE'S JUST A MOTHE‐‐

AY! HEY! WHOA! WHOA.

‐THAT MOTHER‐‐ I'M ‐‐ ‐WAIT! HOLD ON.

IS THERE A HOOD SPIRIT IN HERE?

HE'S JUST ALWAYS AROUND.

OKAY.

WHOLE SIDE OF YOU I NEVER KNEW ABOUT.

NO. HE IS. BUT COME ON.

LET ‐‐ LET'S GET BACK TO WHAT WE WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT.

WHAT WE WAS TALKIN' 'BOUT, GIRL. COME ON.

I AIN'T GON' TELL YOU NO MO'.

OKAY.

COME GET UNDERNEATH THIS THROW.

OH, YEAH. IT'S LIKE A GAME.

IT'S LIKE PIGS IN A BLANKET.

WOMEN DON'T LIKE TO BE CALLED PIGS, DANNY.

NO. I WASN'T CALLING YOU A PIG.

‐UH‐HUH. ‐I JUST REALLY LIKE BACON.

IT'S LIKE THE CANDY OF MEAT.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, LIKE THE OTHER, OTHER WHITE MEAT.

MM‐HMM.

WE REALLY NEED TO TALK ABOUT YOUR ROMANTIC SIDE.

OH. OKAY.

NO. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT?

MATTER OF FACT, LET'S NOT TALK ABOUT IT.

JUST KISS ME.

OKAY.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

MM‐HMM!

AWW.

MM‐HMM!

WOW.

NOW I KNOW WHY YOU WAS NAKED UNDER THAT THROW.

WHOO. YO, IT JUST GOT REAL HOT IN HERE.

YEAH, BABE. THAT'S WHAT SUPPOSED TO HAPPEN.

YOU KNOW YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT WITH THE PILLOW.

I'M RIGHT HERE.

BUT I'VE HAD TO DO THIS MY WHOLE LIFE.

GIVE ME THIS PILLOW.

I S‐‐ I SEE WHAT YOU ‐‐ YEAH.

MM. [ CHUCKLES ]

MM‐HMM!

‐OH, DANNY. ‐MM‐HMM.

MM‐HMM!

‐OH, DANNY. ‐MM‐HMM.

CALL ME DANIEL.

MM‐HMM.

DANIEL.

SAM.

I AM NOT CALLING YOU SAM.

NO, BABY. IT'S SAM.

HEY!

DOES YOUR WIFE KNOW THAT YOUR GIRLFRIEND'S HERE?

DO YOU MIND? THIS IS THE COMMON AREA.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE AT WORK.

I RUSHED HOME.

BUT I JUST SPOKE TO YOU AT WORK.

I DRIVE FAST.

BUT I DON'T TEXT.

WHY ARE YOU HERE?

'CAUSE I MISSED YOU, BUDDY.

SAM, THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME.

WELL, WHY NOT?

HELLO.

OH!

PEW.

TROY, YOU SHOULD PUT SOME CLOTHES ON.

IT CAN GET DRAFTY IN HERE.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID TO HER.

SOME CHICKS NEVER LEARN.

MM.

OH.

AND I BROUGHT PIN THE TAIL ON THE DONKEY.

WHOA.

I WANT TO PLAY. ‐YEAH.

HE HAS GOT TO GO.

UH, TO PREVENT ME NEXT TIME,

JUST PUT ONE OF THESE ON THE DOOR.

YOU ‐‐ YOU KEEP IT.

IT'S MY GIRLFRIEND.