Original subtitles

Hattie: OH, YES, SIR, AIN'T THIS A BEAUTIF‐‐

WHAT THE HELL?

GOOD MORNING.

MORNING?

THERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.

MMM! THIS IS MUY DELICIOSO.

THAT MEANS DELICIOUS IN SPANISH.

THIS IS MUY ‐‐

MA MA SE, MA MA SA

MA MA COO SA.

THAT MEANS WHAT THE HELL ARE Y'ALL DOING IN MY HOUSE?

MISS LINDA INVITED US OVER.

MM‐HMM.

WHY?!

I WANTED THEM TO HAVE BREAKFAST.

SO YOU DO KNOW I OWN A DINER, RIGHT?

DO YOU KNOW I WOULD LIKE FOR THEM TO PAY, RIGHT?

SO WHAT ARE THEY DOING IN MY HOUSE?

THIS IS FREE.

Together: RIGHT?!

YOU DO KNOW SAM AND I HAVE AN ARRANGEMENT, RIGHT?

SO HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO EAT HERE.

MAMA HATTIE.

GET OUT.

GET UP AND GET OUT.

OH, GRANDMA. [ SCOFFS ]

DREW, STEP AWAY FROM THE PANCAKES.

MAMA HATTIE!

SAM, I SEEN YOU TRY TO STEAL THAT SAUSAGE.

THAT'S NOT A SAUSAGE.

WELL, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WALKING AROUND HERE WITH,

YOU NEED TO BE MAD AT YOUR MAKER.

GET OUT.

IT WAS A SAUSAGE! [ LAUGHS ]

GET UP AND GET OUT.

FINE.

OH, YOU GONNA TAKE YOUR TIME. NOW, GET FLIPPED, HEAR?

HMM!

MAMA, WHY'D YOU DO THAT?

WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO FEED EVERYBODY?

NO REASON.

LINDA, SPILL IT.

I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE MY COOKING'S GOOD ENOUGH FOR PHILIP.

WHY ARE YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN WORRIED ABOUT YOUR COOKING?

WELL...

THEY SAY THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART

IS THROUGH HIS STOMACH.

NO, BABY.

THE WAY TO A MAN'S HEART ‐‐ DON'T!

...IS IN THE BEDROOM.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

OH, I HAD MY OWN IMAGINARY FAN.

LIKE YONCE.

STOP IT, MAMA.

LINDA...

WHAT IS GOING ON?

I'M COOKING DINNER FOR PHILIP TONIGHT,

AND I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE HE ‐‐ HE LIKED IT.

BUT YOU'VE ALREADY COOKED FOR HIM.

I KNOW,

BUT I WANTED TO MAKE SURE HE WAS TELLING THE TRUTH

ABOUT LIKING IT, SO I GOT A FEW OTHER OPINIONS.

IF YOU SAY SO.

AND THEY LOVED IT.

AND THEY LIED TO YOU.

Hattie: HMM!

OOH, [ CHUCKLES ]

HEY, BABY.

COME ON OVER HERE AND LET ME SIT DOWN.

I MEAN LET YOU SIT DOWN.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.

SIT DOWN, LET ME TALK AT YOU A MINUTE.

LINDA, WHY YOU ALL OF A SUDDEN WORRIED ABOUT YOUR COOKING?

MAMA, HE LOVES ME. I KNOW HE LOVES YOU.

HE GOT TO LOVE YOU TO EAT THAT FOOLISHNESS.

LINDA, WHY ARE YOU SO WORRIED ABOUT YOUR COOKING?

OH, YOU WANT TO KILL HIM.

DON'T DO IT, BABY. DON'T DO IT!

DON'T KILL HIM.

DON'T KILL HIM.

NO, MAMA.

I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO BE ALL HE NEEDS.

BUT YOU ARE ALL THAT HE NEEDS, LINDA.

YOU THINK SO? I KNOW SO.

THANK YOU, MAMA. YEAH.

LINDA?

BABY, WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?

NOTHING.

IS HE BEATING ON YOU?

NO, MAMA.

YOU SURE?

YES.

'CAUSE I DROP THAT THING ON HIM IF HE IS.

THIS AIN'T WHAT HE WANT RIGHT HERE.

I'D DROP MY OWN THING ON HIM.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU SURE DID!

OH, YEAH, THAT'S HOW YOU GOT KNOCKED UP.

WAY YOU DROPPED THAT THING ON HIM WAS SCANDALOUS.

I MEANT, MAMA, I WOULDN'T STAND FOR HIM HITTING ME,

AND HE WOULDN'T DO THAT ANYWAY.

YOU SURE?

BYE, MAMA. WAIT A MINUTE.

WHY YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT COOKING

AND YOUR WEIGHT AND EVERYTHING.

OOH, OOH.

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT MY WEIGHT.

I SAID COOKING ‐‐ MY COOKING.

OH, OH.

MY BAD, MY BAD, MY BAD.

I ‐‐ I JUST NOTICED THE NECK AREA HAD GOT ‐‐

A LITTLE BIT BIG, AND I THOUGHT YOU...

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT HAVE WANTED TO WORK ON THAT.

MY BAD, MY BAD.

I TAKE THAT, I TAKE THAT.

LISTEN, MAMA.

MM‐HMM?

I LOVE HIM.

AND I JUST WANT TO DO MY BEST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY.

BUT YOU DO MAKE HIM HAPPY!

I KNOW.

I GOT TO GO TO WORK.

ALL RIGHT, I AIN'T GONNA PRESS THE ISSUE.

BUT YOU LET ME KNOW IF SOMETHING GOES DOWN.

'CAUSE I'LL DROP THAT THING ON HIM.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH, YOU KNOW I WAS A GANGSTER IN MY DAY, BABY.

I TOLD YOU

HUH.

UH, WHO DID YOU STEAL IT FROM?

I DIDN'T STEAL IT, IT'S MY DESIGN.

SOME GUYS BENCH PRESS,

I WORD PRESS.

I SAW HIM.

HE STAYED UP ALL NIGHT WORKING ON IT.

HE DIDN'T STEAL IT. I SURE DIDN'T.

NO HOS, JUST COMPUTOS.

WELL, I AM SHOCKED.

WELL, THERE'S MORE SHOCK WHERE THAT CAME FROM.

TOUCH ME AND YOU'LL DIE.

YOU PROMISE?

HEY.

HEY ‐‐ OH, NO!

WHAT IS SHE DOING HERE?

I DON'T KNOW.

GRANDMA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

[ LOUDLY ] HI, MR. HATTIE!

YOU NEVER COME HERE!

IS HER THING TURNED UP?

CAN SHE?

MR. HATTIE, DID YOU GET YOUR MEDICATION CONFUSED AGAIN?!

ARE YOU LOST, HON‐BUN?

AND YOUR MEDICINE IS IN THIS PURSE.

DID YOU HEAR THAT, HONEY TRAMP?!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOUR MOTHER'S GOT ME A LITTLE BIT WORRIED.

WHY?

SHE TALKING ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT AND EVERYTHING.

LOSING WEIGHT, GAINING WEIGHT,

I MEAN, ALL WOMEN DO THAT.

IS THAT WHY YOU DON'T EAT?

I EAT.

I AIN'T TALKING ABOUT NO DAMN CELERY, LETTUCE.

I'M TALKING ABOUT A STEAK OR HAMBURGER MEAT ‐‐ FOOD!

GRANDMA, MY MOM IS ALWAYS TRYING TO LOSE A FEW POUNDS.

YEAH, BUT SHE'S COOKING NOW.

AND WE ARE ENJOYING IT NOW.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG THIS HEIFER HERE.

BUT, BABY, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOUR MAMA, TOO, NOW.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

WELL, YOU KNOW, WHEN SHE GOES TRYING TO FEED THESE MEN,

SHE GETS CAUGHT UP IN THAT MODE,

AND YOU KNOW EVERY TIME SHE GETS CAUGHT UP IN THAT MODE,

THE SAME THING GO DOWN EVERY TIME.

YEAH. WITH HER TRYING TO PLEASE THEM.

REMEMBER HOW DEPRESSED SHE WAS AFTER LIONEL?

YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT.

HOW BAD IT WAS WHEN SHE BROKE UP WITH WILL.

YEAH, WE ALMOST HAD TO RESUSCITATE HER THEN.

MM‐HMM.

I KNOW WHAT WE NEED TO DO.

WE JUST NEED TO SHOW HER THAT SHE'S GREAT ‐‐

JUST THE WAY SHE IS.

I THINK THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

YOU KNOW WHAT.

THAT'S AN EXCELLENT IDEA THERE.

I'M SO GLAD I THOUGHT OF THAT.

SO HOW DO WE DO IT?

MEET ME AT MY HOUSE AT 8:00.

I GOT AN IDEA.

OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

OKAY, THEN.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

OKAY, THEN.

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

BYE.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ] LOOK, UH...

OKAY, OKAY, THEN!

ALL RIGHT, THEN.

BYE, DEAR.

WHO WAS THAT ON THE PHONE, HATTIE?

THAT ‐‐ THAT'S THE REV.

HE SURE LIKE TO PREACH. HELL!

WELL, LOOK HERE.

HERE'S THE RECEIPTS AND EVERYTHING.

I'M STILL SURPRISED YOU CAN EVEN GET

THAT ROTARY‐DIAL PHONE TO WORK.

BABY, EVERYTHING UP IN THIS HERE HOUSE WORKS ‐‐

INCLUDING ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, THERE ARE YOUR RECEIPTS, HONEY.

ALL RIGHT, SO ‐‐ SO LINDA'S LOCKING UP THE PLACE?

YEAH, YEAH, SURE. DID SHE ASK ANY QUESTIONS?

NO, NO, NO. OKAY, OKAY, GOOD.

WHAT'S GOING ON, AND WHAT'S ALL THIS HERE?

THIS HERE IS SOMETHING SPECIAL I GOT PLANNED FOR LINDA.

WHAT?

I JUST WANT HER TO KNOW HOW SPECIAL SHE IS.

SHE IS?

YEAH, SHE IS!

WAIT.

IS SHE DYING?

NO, FOOL!

SOMETHING WRONG WITH THE BABY?

NO, FLOYD!

SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU?

HELL NO.

BUT THERE'S GONNA BE SOMETHING OTHER WRONG WITH YOU

IN A MINUTE.

NOW, YOU KNOW YOU AIN'T NEVER BEEN SUPPORTIVE OF LINDA BEFORE.

YES, I HAVE!

WHAT IS THIS ALL ABOUT, HATTIE?

I TOLD YOU, I W‐‐ YOU'LL SEE, YOU'LL SEE.

OKAY.

I GOT ALL THE DECORATIONS.

[ HONKS NOISEMAKER ]

AND THEY WERE NOT CHEAP ‐‐ LIKE DREW.

WELL, MINE WEREN'T EXPENSIVE.

I JUST THROW THE GUY MY SMILE,

AND HE WAS LIKE, "YOU CAN HAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE."

PROBABLY BECAUSE HE THOUGHT YOU WERE A GUY.

YOU KNOW, I'M ‐‐ I'M NOT REALLY SURE IF ANYONE

COULD EVER MISTAKE EITHER OF US FOR A GUY.

[ CHUCKLES ] [ CHUCKLES ]

SNAP!

GRANDMA, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH THESE?

JUST TAKE THEM AND PUT THEM EVERYWHERE.

JUST SET THEM EVERYWHERE. PUT THEM EVERYWHERE.

OKAY, COME ON, SAM, HELP ME.

SURE.

ALL RIGHT, SO WHILE THOSE TWO CREEPS DO THAT,

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

GO AND HELP THEM CREEPS.

WELL, HELL, WHY AM I HERE?

'CAUSE YOU'RE A CREEP!

THIS COMING FROM THE CRYPT KEEPER.

FINE, FINE. SO WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

GO AND CALL PHILIP AND MAKE SURE HE COMES OVER HERE,

'CAUSE I WANT HIM TO KNOW HOW SPECIAL SHE IS, TOO.

WHY?

FLOYD...

OH!

I JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH THE REVEREND,

AND I'M TRYING TO BE REAL PATIENT.

FINE, I'LL CALL HIM,

I'LL CALL HIM.

HE REALLY SAVED HIMSELF AN ASS‐WHUPPING THEN.

SHE GET ON MY DAMN NERVES.

[ NOISEMAKERS HONK ]

SURPRISE!

WHAT THE...

I'M YOUR CHILD. YOU'RE LUCKY I WASN'T PACKING.

COME ON IN. SIT DOWN, HONEY.

WHAT IS THIS?

IT'S SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOU.

OH, BABY, IS THIS YOUR BIRTHDAY?

I DON'T THINK SO.

HE DON'T KNOW HER DAMN BIRTHDAY?

UH, NO.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

IT'S THIS "YOU ARE SO SPECIAL" DAY ‐‐

ESPECIALLY FOR YOU.

[ HONKS NOISEMAKER ]

OH, MAMA.

YEAH. AND WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU.

WHO ‐‐ WHO ‐‐ WHO ALL?

WHAT AM I, CHOPPED LIVER?

I'M HERE, TOO.

YOU ‐‐ TURN TO THE SIDE.

THERE SHE GO! SHE DID, SHE DID!

SHE DID SEE YOU!

HEY, DREW. I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE.

EAT A SANDWICH OR SOMETHING.

[ NOISEMAKERS HONK ]

AND SO AM I.

NOT BECAUSE I SLEPT OVER, EITHER.

YEAH, ME, TOO.

OKAY. WHAT'S THIS ABOUT?

IT'S ‐‐ IT'S SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU YOU'RE SPECIAL.

I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN COOKING

AND EVERYTHING AND TRYING TO DRESS UP TO IMPRESS THAT MAN.

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT ‐‐

BUT, MOM...

MMM!

HE'S RIGHT HERE.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HIM BEING RIGHT THERE.

I WANT HIM TO KNOW HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE, TOO.

WE ALL WANT YOU TO KNOW, MAMA.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN.

I GOT SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY.

HELP A LADY TO THE STAGE, FLOYD.

OH, I'M SO SORRY, SIR.

SIT.

THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

THANK YOU.

HONEY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW...

♪♪ THAT WHEN YOU WERE BORN ♪♪

♪♪ I WAS SO PROUD ♪♪

♪♪ TO BE CALLED YOU MOTHER ♪♪

♪♪ AND WHEN YOU WERE BORN ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WERE THE LIGHT OF MY WORLD ♪♪

♪♪ AND WHEN YOU WERE BORN ♪♪

♪♪ I WAS JUST... ♪♪

♪♪ HAPPY TO HAVE MY OWN BUSINESS, 'CAUSE IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOU, ♪♪

♪♪ I WOULDN'T HAVE ONE ♪♪

♪♪ AND ‐‐ AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW ♪♪

♪♪ THAT YOU ARE THE WIND ♪♪

♪♪ I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE... ♪♪

[ BLOWS ] OH!

♪♪ ...THE WIND BENEATH MY... ♪♪

♪♪ ...MY... ♪♪ STAY WITH IT.

♪♪ ...MY WINGS ♪♪

MAN! WHOO!

GOOD JOB. OH, MOM.

GET UP, GET UP THERE. GET UP.

YOU DID THAT. OH, MAMA.

YOU DID THAT. Danny: OKAY.

MAMA!

ALL RIGHT, NOW IT'S MY TURN.

YEAH. ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

WHOO, DANNY! GO, DANNY!

MAMA...

♪♪ I LOVE YOU ♪♪

DANNY, UH‐UH, BABY, STAY IN YOUR LANE.

I'M DRIVING THAT CAR.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

MAMA, WHAT CAN I SAY?

YOU WERE ALWAYS THERE FOR ME, AND YOU LOVE ME.

EVEN THOUGH MY DADDY WASN'T THERE,

YOU ALWAYS GAVE ME HOPE.

AND YOU KEPT ME STRONG, YOU KEPT ME HUMBLE.

YOU'D ALWAYS SAY, "BABY, YOU'RE ALWAYS GONNA MAKE IT."

AND I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.

OH, DANNY!

Floyd: OH, WHOA! NICE DISMOUNT.

UH, SIR...

YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO OLD FOR THAT NOW, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT, THERE.

[ SNORING ]

FLOYD?

I PAID YOU IN CASH, WOMAN!

HUH? OH. I'M SORRY.

UM...

DEAR LINDA, YOU MAKE ME SO...

PROUD.

EVER SINCE YOU TOOK YOUR DOG FROM THAT WOMAN

THAT TOOK THE DOG FROM YOU AND STOMPED A MUD HOLE

IN HER BEHIND RIGHT THERE IN THE STREET,

I WAS SO PROUD OF THAT MOMENT.

MMM. I DIDN'T DO THAT, UNCLE FLOYD.

IT WASN'T YOU?

UNH‐UNH.

OH!

I'M STILL VERY PROUD OF YOU WHEN YOU TOOK YOUR DOLLS

AND YOUR TOYS, SAID YOU WEREN'T GONNA LET NOBODY PLAY WITH THEM.

NO, NO. NO?

SHE TOOK MY DOLL AND I TOLD HER IF SHE GAVE IT BACK,

SHE COULD PLAY WITH MY TOYS.

WELL, HELL, YOU WAS THERE, YOU ALREADY KNOW THE STORY.

TOOK YOUR DAMN TOYS.

ALL RIGHT.

OH.

FIRST OFF, I WANT TO START BY SAYING

THAT I LOOK ABSOLUTELY FLAWLESS.

SECOND OF ALL,

I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE TAUGHT ALL OF US

THAT EVEN WHEN WE MAKE MISTAKES, WE MAY FALL,

BUT WE CAN GET BACK UP AND DUST OURSELVES OFF.

NOW, YOU ARE FAR MORE DUSTIER THAN THE REST OF US.

[ BLOWS ] [ COUGHS ]

COME ON, I'M SITTING RIGHT HERE!

[ COUGHS ]

BUT THE POINT IS THAT WE LOVE YOU,

AND I AM SO PROUD AND SO HONORED TO CALL YOU MY MOTHER‐IN‐LAW.

MESSAGE!

UH... UM, UM, DREW?

OKAY, MAYBE THAT LAST PART WAS OVEREXAGGERATED,

BUT, UM, EVERYTHING ELSE WAS DEAD ON.

IT'S REALLY SOMETHING WRONG WITH HER, YEAH.

OKAY.[ CHUCKLES ]

SO...

I JUST WANT TO CONFESS I HAVEN'T ENGAGED

IN A SEXUAL ACT IN OVER AN HOUR.

UGH!

MISS LINDA...

I JUST WANT TO THANK YOU FOR...

FOR RAISING DANNY.

I WAS RAISED BY A PACK OF WOLVES.

A PACK OF WHORISH WOLVES.

AND HE'S SUCH A GREAT GUY,

AND YOU MAKE ME WANT TO BE A BETTER GUY EVERY DAY.

DO I?

YEAH.

YOU DO.

OH!

DAMN!

OH!

OH!

Floyd: FELLAS, FELLAS, YOU'RE IN PUBLIC.

THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY.

TWO MEN CAN'T SHOW AFFECTION.

OKAY.

KEEP IT UP.

KEEP IT UP.

OH, OKAY.

UM...COME ON.

COME WITH ME. GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD.

PULL YOUR SHIRT DOWN.

COVER ALL YOUR GLORY.

UM...

WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS, BUT...

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING TO IMPRESS ME.

THE ONLY THING YOU HAVE TO DO IS JUST BE WHO YOU ARE.

'CAUSE YOUR SMILE, YOUR PERSONALITY...

AND YOUR BODY...

IT ALL TURNS ME ON.

WAIT A DAMN MINUTE HERE!

AND ALTHOUGH YOU'RE HAVING MY CHILD

AND THIS MAY SEEM A LITTLE BACKWARDS,

BUT...

I CAN'T SEE MY LIFE WITHOUT YOU.

I LOVE YOU.

MY KIDS LOVE YOU.

AND I WANT TO MARRY YOU.

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS