Original subtitles

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HEY!

Together: HEY, PHIL.

IT'S "PHILIP," DAMN IT.

HEY, FLIP, DAMN IT. [PHILIP]

WHATEVER. SIT DOWN.

I'M ‐‐ I'M GLAD Y'ALL CAME, ALL RIGHT?

HEY, MAN, IT'S OUR PLEASURE. YES.

GOOD, GOOD. SO, YOU READY?

Together: YEAH.

[ LAUGHS ]

ALL RIGHT. CLOSE YOUR EYES.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD.

[ GIGGLES ]

[ SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY ]

HE'S NOT ASKING US TO MARRY HIM.

I KNOW. RIGHT?

YOU SCARE ME SOMETIMES, NEPHEW.

LET'S SEE IT.

OKAY. YOU READY?

SHOW US THE DAMN RING.

ALL RIGHT.

BAM.

Together: OHH...

[ LAUGHS ]

NO. NO, NO, SERIOUSLY, SHOW US THE RING.

NO, SERIOUSLY, BAM. THERE IT IS.

Together: EHH...

I DON'T SEE IT.

WHAT?

ME EITHER.

LOOK.

AW, DAMN!

WH‐WH‐WH‐WHAT HAPPENED TO IT?

I DON'T KNOW.

WOW. I WAS BEGINNING TO THINK THIS WAS A REALLY GOOD JOKE.

THIS AIN'T NO JOKE, SAM.

FELT THE HEAT ON MY NECK.

UH, IT'S OKAY. WE'LL HELP YOU FIND IT.

WH‐‐ OKAY. PLEASE.

OKAY, SO, WHERE SHOULD WE LOOK?

I DON'T KNOW. UM, A‐ANYWHERE.

JUST ‐‐ JUST HELP ME, OKAY?

WELL, THINK ‐‐ WHERE WAS THE LAST PLACE YOU LEFT IT?

UH, UPSTAIRS IN MY SAFE IN IN MY BEDROOM,

UM, UH, WHERE IT'S BEEN FOR THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

WHAT?

‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com

CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS

H‐HOLD UP.

YOU AIN'T KNOWN LINDA THAT LONG ‐‐

FOR ABOUT MAYBE A YEAR.

SO, HOW IS IT THAT THE RING IS UPSTAIRS IN YOUR SAFE

FOR THE LAST FIVE YEARS?

THE RING BELONGED TO MY LATE WIFE.

WHAT?

UH.

JUST ‐‐ JUST LOOK AROUND, OKAY?

LOOK AROUND. HELP ME, ALL RIGHT?

ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

OOH.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE.

HE'S GONE.

HE'S GONE.

WHAT THE...?

HE CAN'T GIVE MY MAMA A DEAD WOMAN'S RING.

LOOKS LIKE THAT'S HIS INTENT.

COOL.

SAM.

WHAT?

SHE DON'T WANT NO DEAD WOMAN'S RING.

OH.

WELL, SHE'S GONNA GET ONE.

WON'T WORK.

I CAN'T BELIEVE HE WANTS TO GIVE MY MAMA A DEAD WOMAN'S RING.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE RECYCLING?

SAM.

WHAT?

HEY, I'M WITH DANNY ON THIS ONE.

THAT'S JUST NOT A GOOD LOOK.

SHE WON'T KNOW.

YES, SHE WILL.

ALL HE DID WAS RE‐PURPOSE THE RING.

IT HAPPENS ALL THE TIME. IT'S CALLED ESTATE JEWELRY.

SO, HOW WE GONNA TELL HIM?

WE ARE NOT. YES, WE ARE.

BUT I THINK IT'S A WASTE OF A PERFECTLY GOOD RING.

WHY ARE YOU SO COLD?

I'M NOT COLD. I'M A REALIST.

REALISTICALLY COLD.

NO.

COLD WOULD BE NOT HAVING THE RING CLEANED

BEFORE I GAVE IT TO THE NEXT GIRL.

OH, MY ‐‐

YOU ARE SICK.

DON'T TELL YOUR MOM.

WE HAVE TO.

WHY?

BECAUSE I SAID SO, ALL RIGHT?

PUTTING MY FOOT DOWN.

OOH. YEAH.

SIZE 7.

BIGFOOT.

WE HAVE TO FIND A NICE WAY TO TELL HIM

HE CAN'T GIVE HER THAT RING.

A NICE WAY? YEAH.

SEE, THAT'S WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU, NOW.

YOU'RE ALWAYS SO NICE TO PEOPLE.

Philip: YOU GUYS STILL LOOKING?

UH, YEAH, YEAH, WE'RE LOOKING REAL HARD, BROTHER.

WE ‐‐ WE ‐‐ YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

OOH. MARBLES.

YEAH.

BUT SERIOUSLY, WE GOT TO TELL HIM.

TELL HIM.

GENTLY.

HE LOST HIS WIFE!

I'M SURE HE COULD TAKE THIS LIKE A MAN.

BUT THAT ‐‐ THAT ‐‐ THAT'S WHAT I MEAN, ALL RIGHT?

WE HAVE TO FIND A POLITE WAY TO SAY IT.

SO, YOU DON'T MIND THIS MAN GIVING YOUR MAMA

A DEAD WOMAN'S RING?

UGH, SHE WON'T KNOW.

YES, SHE ‐‐ LOOK AT THE PICTURE.

WHAT ABOUT IT?

SHE'S WEARING THE RING ON HER FINGER IN THE PICTURE.

OH, DAMN.

OH, YEAH. THAT'S NOT GOOD.

Philip: JUST DON'T KNOW WHERE IT COULD BE.

UH, US EITHER, BUT WE'RE LOOKING SO HARD.

YES. YEAH.

Philip: ALL RIGHT.

YOU SURE?

YOU BETCHA, BUDDY.

NO, SERIOUSLY, I'M GONNA TELL HIM.

NO, LET ME.

WHY YOU?

HE LIKES ME.

AND YOU'RE HELLA CUTE.

THANKS, BUDDY.

NO! ENOUGH!

Philip: FIND IT?

NO, UH, UH...

WE SAID WE'RE JUST NOT LOOKING HARD ENOUGH.

Philip: OKAY.

HOW WE GONNA TELL HIM?

UH, GENTLY.

WAIT!

MAYBE HE WON'T FIND THE RING. [ CLATTERING ]

DO YOU HEAR HOW HE'S TEARING THAT HOUSE UP UPSTAIRS?

[ GLASS TINKLING ]

HE COULD FIND A RAT PEEING ON COTTON IN A PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH

WITH A CATHOLIC PRIEST DOING THE SERMON.

YEAH. I‐I‐‐ I'LL TELL HIM.

OKAY. WELL, HOW?

WHEN HE COMES BACK DOWNSTAIRS.

THERE HE IS.

OH, AH! OOH!

OH, MAN. WHERE COULD IT BE?

SO, PHILIP, UH, DID YOU FIND IT?

NO.

UH, MAN, I WONDER WHERE IT COULD BE.

I DON'T KNOW.

CHECK THAT URN AGAIN.

THAT IS NOT AN URN.

OH.

SHOOK IT ‐‐ SOUNDED LIKE I HEARD "TING, TING, TING"...

PHILIP, UH, DO YOU BELIEVE IN SIGNS?

YES. I‐I PRAY FOR SIGNS ALL THE TIME.

OH. WELL, MAYBE THIS IS A SIGN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

THAT YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE HER THAT RING.

UH.

WHY?

YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE HER THAT RING.

YOU SHOULD BUY HER ANOTHER RING.

OH. REALLY?

YEAH. WH‐‐ WHY IS THAT?

WELL, MAYBE...

MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T GIVE HER...

YOUR LATE WIFE'S RING.

OR MAYBE SHE DOESN'T CARE.

Both: SAM.

NO, HE MIGHT BE ONTO SOMETHING.

YEAH?

YEAH.

MAYBE...

MY LATE WIFE DOESN'T WANT ME TO FIND THE RING.

GUYS? YEAH. COME ON.

BECAUSE MY LATE WIFE DOESN'T WANT ME

TO GIVE LINDA THE RING.

RIGHT.

YOU MAY YET PREACH. COME ON.

MAYBE MY LATE WIFE DOESN'T WANT ME TO MARRY LINDA.

SAY, YEAH ‐‐ YEAH ‐‐ HUH?

HE KNOW THE LORD.

YEAH. WHAT?

THAT'S RIGHT. YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

'CAUSE SEE, IF THAT'S NOT THE CASE,

THEN EXPLAIN TO ME HOW I'VE HAD THAT RING

IN MY SAFE UPSTAIRS EVER SINCE SHE GOT SICK,

AND NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, I CAN'T FIND IT.

WE‐‐ UH... UH, BRING IT IN.

BRING IT IN, BRING IT IN, BRING IT IN.

WE GO LONG ‐‐

OKAY. YOU GOT A ‐‐

HAIL MARY. WHATEVER. ALL RIGHT.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

WELL, MAYBE...

HER GHOST...MOVED IT.

THAT'S THE BEST DAMN ANSWER YOU COULD COME UP WITH?

I DON'T HAVE A THROWING ARM.

OBVIOUSLY.

YOU ‐‐ YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE MIGHT BE RIGHT.

Together: NO.

HE IS NOT RIGHT.

HE'S NOT RIGHT. NO, HE'S NOT.

NO, HE MIGHT BE RIGHT.

NO, HE HASN'T BEEN RIGHT SINCE THE ACCIDENT. NO.

'CAUSE IF I CAN'T FIND THIS RING,

I WON'T ASK LINDA TO MARRY ME.

NO, PHILIP, LISTEN. LISTEN. OH, NO.

PHILIP, LISTEN, LISTEN, LISTEN.

NO, PHILIP.

[ SPEAKING SPANISH ]

NO, PHILIP.

I WON'T ASK HER TO MARRY ME.

Together: NO. I DON'T LIKE IT.

I DON'T LIKE IT, EITHER.

[ Voice breaking ] IT MAKES ME FEEL SO BAD.

UNH‐UNH. DON'T START THAT, PLEASE.

JUST HURTS SO BAD.

UNH‐UNH. COME ON, NOW.

IT'S GONNA GET STUCK LIKE THAT. HOLD HIM.

NO.

[ CRYING ]

UNH‐UNH. PLEASE. UNH‐UNH. NO, NO.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

WHO THERE?!

[ KNOCKING CONTINUES ]

I SAID "WHO IS IT?"

HEY, GIRL, HEY. [ LAUGHS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

UH, IF YOU GONNA JUST WALK IN, WHY YOU KNOCK ON THE DOOR?

WELL, BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T ANSWER IT.

WELL, BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT TO LET YOU IN.

OH, MISS HATTIE.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

I'M ALL RIGHT.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

PBHT!

WHAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME TO SEE LINDA.

OKAY.

SO, UH, IS SHE HERE?

UH, YEAH. SHE'S HERE.

WELL, CAN YOU GO GET HER?

UH, I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

OH, SEÑOR HATTIE.

OH, FOOL.

I'M SO SICK OF LINDA INVITING HER FRIENDS OVER HERE.

OH, YOU NEED A SAMMICH?

I ‐‐ BABY, I AIN'T GOT NO MORE SAMMICHES.

I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR A "SAMMICH."

I CAME HERE BECAUSE I'M LIKE FAMILY.

YOU'RE NOT MY FAMILY.

AND IF YOU'RE FAMILY,

THEN WHO NEEDS AN ENEMA?

OKAY, I THINK YOU MEAN "ENEMY,"

AND THAT'S NOT NICE.

AND NEITHER IS THAT OUTFIT THAT YOU HAVE ON.

HEY. THIS IS MY YOGA GEAR.

YOGA?

MM‐HMM.

UH, YO‐‐ THE BEAR?

NO, THAT'S YOGI. [ CHUCKLES ]

[ CHUCKLES ] SAME THING.

IT'S DEFINITELY NOT THE SAME THING.

YOGA IS AN EXERCISE,

AND IT'S FOR THE MIND, BODY, AND SOUL.

IS THAT THAT THING HAVE YOU IN ALL THOSE DIFFERENT POSITIONS?

EXACTLY. SO YOU HAVE TRIED IT BEFORE.

NO.

WHAT I DO FOR MY MIND, BODY, AND SPIRIT,

IT HAS ME IN A LOT OF POSITIONS, TOO.

UH, WHERE'S LINDA?

UH, LINDA?!

Linda: YES?

UH, THERE'S SOME‐‐ SOMETHING DOWN HERE

THAT LOOKS LIKE A POPSICLE ON A STICK.

AND, BABY, BRING MY SUN SHADES WITH YOU,

'CAUSE SHE BLINDING THE HELL OUT OF ME.

I CAN'T SEE NOTHING.

I'M COMING.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU GIRLS DOING TODAY?

WE'RE GONNA WORK OUT.

YOU DO REALIZE SHE'S PREGNANT, RIGHT?

YES, AND THIS IS A WORKOUT THAT PREGNANT WOMEN CAN DO.

A WORKOUT PREGNANT WOMEN CAN DO.

YEAH.

HAVE YOU LOST YOUR DAMN MIND?

NO, I HAVEN'T. WHY?

BECAUSE IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

THAT'S HOW LINDA GOT KNOCKED UP.

SHE WAS W‐‐

SHE WAS WORKING OUT.

WELL, THIS IS A DIFFERENT KIND OF EXERCISE,

AND YOU SHOULD TRY IT.

NO, THANK YOU.

AND IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY,

THAT'S HOW I GOT KNOCKED UP AND SHE GOT HERE.

I WAS WORKING OUT.

[ SCOFFS ] I'M TALKING ABOUT YOGA.

OKAY, GREAT.

OKAY, FINE. DON'T JOIN US.

SHOOT YOURSELF.

I'M SORRY. I MEANT "SUIT YOURSELF."

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

DON'T TOUCH ME, GIRL. I TOLD YOU.

HEY. HI.

YOU READY?

YES, I AM, AND I BROUGHT OUR YOGA MATS.

OH, GOOD. LET'S MOVE THIS STUFF OUT OF THE WAY.

OKAY, DEFINITELY.

WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT THE HELL Y'ALL DOING MY TABLE?

WE NEED MORE ROOM, MAMA.

UNH‐UNH. I'M FINNA WATCH MY STORIES.

UNH‐UNH. MOVE IT, GRAMPS.

WATCH THEM IN THE KITCHEN.

ARE YOU CRAZY?

UH, YEAH. I'M YOUR CHILD.

THIS SOME STRAIGHT‐UP MOTHER‐‐

MAMA!

NOW, YOU'RE WELCOME TO JOIN US.

NO THANK YOU. I'D RATHER BE A LION TAMER AND JOIN THE CIRCUS.

OKAY. NEVER MIND HER.

SO, IS THIS YOGA THING REALLY GONNA HELP ME

NOT GAIN SO MUCH BABY WEIGHT?

LOOK, I CAN'T MAKE ANY PROMISES.

YOU'RE A SPECIAL CASE.

I GOT TO BE BRUTALLY HONEST WITH YOU.

YOU'RE OVER 40,

AND LATELY, YOU'VE BEEN LOOKING LIKE A REAL THICKUM SNACK.

WAIT A MINUTE. DON'T YOU TALK TO MY BABY LIKE THAT.

SHE IS LIKE A THICKUM SNACK, AIN'T SHE?

O‐‐ O‐‐ HM.

OKAY, CAN WE JUST START WITH SOME

BEGINNER‐YOGA STRETCHING OR SOMETHING?

YEAH. I LIKE THAT IDEA. EVERYBODY TAKE IT TO THE LEFT.

AND NOW TAKE IT TO THE RIGHT.

AND YOU JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU CLEAR OUT

ANY NEGATIVE ENERGY IN THE ROOM.

PBHT!

OH, MISS HATTIE.

STILL HERE, EH? [ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY.

AND EVERYONE JUST BREATHE IN.

PBHT!

AND BREATHE OUT.

[ ALL EXHALE ]

THAT FELT GREAT.

WHEW, THAT MADE ME TIRED. I WONDER WHAT TIME'S LUNCH.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

OH, MISS HATTIE,

DON'T YOU HAVE ANOTHER PHONE YOU CAN USE IN THE KITCHEN?

THIS IS A SPECIAL MOMENT, AND IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE QUIET.

Shh!

WELL, THEN, Shh! YOU NEED TO BE QUIET THEN.

HELL, I GOT TO GO IN THE KITCHEN TO ANSWER MY OWN PHONE.

OOH, I JUST FEEL LIKE SLAPPING HER SOMETIMES.

HELLO?

FLOYD: Can you come over Phil's house?

WHO THAT? IS THAT YOU, FLOYD?

Yes. God, look, we got a problem.

FLOYD, WHAT THE HELL YOU DONE DONE?

No, look. Philip don't want to marry Linda.

HUH?

Philip don't want to marry Linda.

FLOYD, WHAT THE HELL?

I KNOW YOU BE BUSY. WHAT YOU DONE DID?

Hattie, I ain't done nothing.

OKAY, BUT WHERE YOU AT?

Well, just waddle on over here to Philip's.

SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD. BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

BYE. Love you.

WELL, WHERE MY POCKETBOOK?

WHERE MY SH‐‐

OKAY, SO, NEXT TIME ‐‐ YOGA AT MY PLACE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU SAY, THIS IS A SIGN.

NO, L‐‐ LOOK, YOU LOVE MY MOM, RIGHT?

YES, I DO. THEN DON'T LET THIS STOP YOU.

LOOK, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I BEEN ASKING GOD FOR SIGNS SINCE I WAS A LITTLE BOY,

AND THIS LOOKS LIKE A SIGN TO ME.

WELL, WHEN YOU SAW THE PLUS SIGN ON THE PREGNANCY TEST,

WAS THAT ONE?

STUPID.

DANNY.

HOLD ON.

[ THUMP ] HOLD UP, Y'ALL.

I'M GETTING DIZZY AS HELL.

HEY. WHAT ARE WE DOING?

STAY WITH IT.

LET ME ASK YOU THIS ‐‐ DO YOU LOVE HER?

YES, I LOVE HER.

BUT I'M NOT GONNA ASK HER TO MARRY ME

IF I CAN'T FIND THAT RING.

HERE WE GO. WAIT.

[ HEAVY KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HM. I KNOW THAT MANLY KNOCK ANYWHERE.

WHAT THE HELL GOING ON?

SIR, I DON'T ‐‐

HEY, GRANDMA.

HI, MISS HATTIE.

HEY, MISS HATTIE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WE DONE BEEN OVER THIS HERE BEFORE.

WHAT IS THIS I HEAR ABOUT YOU SAYING YOU AIN'T MARRYING LINDA?

YOU NEED TO GO ASK HER

AND GET HER AND THAT BABY ON UP OUT OF MY HOUSE.

BUT, MISS HATTIE, I CAN'T FIND THE RING.

WHAT RING?

THE RING I WAS GONNA GIVE HER FOR OUR ENGAGEMENT.

WELL, WHERE IS THE RING?

MISS HATTIE, I'M ‐‐ I DON'T KNOW.

I HAD IT UPSTAIRS IN MY SAFE, AND I LOST IT.

WELL, BUY ANOTHER ONE.

BUT, MISS HATTIE ‐‐

PHILIP! MY BUTT.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ALL THAT,

BUT I KNOW YOU NEED TO ASK THIS HERE GIRL TO MARRY YOU.

NOW, YOU OWE ME THIS, FLIP.

IT'S "PHILIP."

BUT, HATTIE ‐‐

GRANDMA.

WHAT, BOY?

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE RING.

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT NO RING.

BUT, HATTIE ‐‐

SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD!

BUT, HATTIE ‐‐

SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD!

BUT SAY IT WITH FEELING. BUT, HATTIE ‐‐

SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD.

Y'ALL NEED TO GET TO LOOKING FOR THIS RING.

I SEE TWO RINGS AROUND YOUR EYES.

AND YOU ABOUT TO HAVE TWO RINGS AROUND YOUR ASS

IF YOU DON'T GET THE HELL OUT MY FACE.

I AIN'T SCARED OF YOU.

MISS HATTIE, THIS IS A SIGN.

PHILIP!

THE SIGN WAS THAT PLUS SIGN ON THAT PREGNANCY TEST.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID, BAE. [ GASPS ]

I DON'T KNOW NOTHING ABOUT ALL THIS,

BUT I KNOW Y'ALL BETTER GET TO TEARING THIS HOUSE UP

LOOKING FOR THAT DAMN RING OR PUT AN APB OUT ON THAT RING.

WE GONNA LOOK FOR THAT DARN RING

LIKE WE LOOKING FOR A CORPSE OR EVEN SOME CRYSTAL METH.

MAYBE THE RING IS STILL ON A CORPSE.

GET TO LOOKING FOR THIS DAMN RING!

MOVE, FLOYD!

[ GRUNTS ]

DON'T YOU THINK WE SHOULD TELL HER?

MNH‐MNH.

SHE DON'T CARE ANYWAY.

ALL SHE WORRIED ABOUT IS GETTING YOUR MAMA OUT OF HER HOUSE.

Psst! Come on. Let's look for it.

Psst! Don't you think it matters?

Psst! I guess not, according to your grandma.

Psst! Why are we whispering?

Psst! I don't know. I'm just going with it.

YOU TWO ABOUT TO Psst! ME OFF.

AH.

Psst! A LITTLE BIT WITH LESS FORCE, PLEASE.

DON'T GET INTO A Psst!‐ING CONTEST WITH ME.

Psst!