Original subtitles

HEY, BABE.

HEY, MAMA.

HOW YOUR DATE WAS LAST NIGHT?

[ SIGHS ] IT WAS GOOD.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

NOTHING.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I'M GOOD.

OKAY. YOU GOOD?

YEAH, I'M FINE.

OH, YOU FINE?

YEAH, MAMA, I'M GOOD.

YOU SURE YOU'RE FINE?

YEAH, I'M SURE I'M FINE.

OKAY, THEN GET YOUR ASS UP, AND LET'S GO TO WORK THEN.

[ DOOR OPENS ] [ FOOTSTEPS ]

WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?

NOTHING, MAMA. I'M GOOD.

GOOD. THEN GET YOUR ASS UP, AND LET'S GO TO WORK, THEN.

OKAY.

YEAH, WE GOT A LONG DAY TODAY.

LIN.

WHAT THE HELL WRONG WITH YOU?

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

NOTHING, MAMA. I'M GOOD.

YOU KNOW YOU MY CHILD.

AND I KNOW VERY WELL WHEN

SOMETHING OR OTHER WRONG WITH YOU.

NOW, OUT WITH IT.

DID PHILIP CALL?

NO, PHILIP AIN'T CALLED HERE!

WHAT YOU ASKING ABOUT PHILIP FOR

WHEN YOU JUST LEFT A DATE WITH WILL?

I WAS JUST WONDERING IF HE HAD CALLED.

YOU'RE A DAMN LIAR.

OH, I KNOW ‐‐ I KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU!

[ LAUGHS ]

♪♪ YOU GOT THE PHILIP BLUES, BABY ♪♪

♪♪ YOU GOT THE PHILIP ON YOUR LIPS, BABY ♪♪

♪♪ YOU WANT PHILIP TO FLIP YOU, BABY ♪♪

NOW, AIN'T THAT IT?

GO AHEAD. TELL ME. AIN'T THAT IT?

AIN'T THAT IT? GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD.

GO AHEAD. GO AHEAD. YEAH, MAMA.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ LAUGHS ] I KNOWED I WAS RIGHT, YOU KNOW?

I GOT THE SPIRITS IN ME!

BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYBODY, MAMA.

I AIN'T GONNA TELL NOBODY.

I AIN'T GONNA TELL NOT A SOUL.

MAMA, IT WAS THE MOST WONDERFUL,

PASSIONATE, DELICIOUS KISS I HAVE HAD IN SO LONG.

AND THEN HE WAS STARTING AND THEN HE WASN'T STOPPING

AND HE WAS JUST HOLDING ME... LINDA! LINDA! LINDA!

IT WAS LIKE ‐‐ BABY, BABY, COME BACK.

COME BACK.

WE WAS HAVING A CONVERSATION BEFORE YOU LEFT THERE.

SORRY.

OH. DID YOU GIVE HIM SOME?

MAMA! WHAT?

LAST TIME I HAD A KISS LIKE THAT,

I FOUND MYSELF BUTT‐NAKED

IN A JACUZZI FULL OF JELLY BEANS.

I WAS PULLING THEM BEANS FROM EVERYWHERE.

MAMA, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS.

WELL, YOU BETTER ENJOY THIS, YOUR BLACK HIST‐‐

BLACK HISTORY MOMENT.

I KNOW.

DID YOU LIKE IT?

I HAVE TO ADMIT, MAMA.

[ Chuckling ] YES.

DO IT FEEL THE SAME WAY WHEN WILL KISS YOU?

MNH‐MNH.

NOT LIKE THAT.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY

ABOUT MEN THAT CAN KISS REAL GOOD.

MAMA?

HE SURE GOT IT GOING ON IN THE KNAPSACK.

MAMA, YOU KNOW I'M CELIBATE.

THAT'S THE PROBLEM RIGHT THERE!

YOU NEED TO RELEASE THAT!

GO GET YOU A MAN.

MAMA, WHY ARE YOU PUSHING HIM SO HARD?

'CAUSE HE'S GOT HIS OWN PLACE,

AND HE CAN GET YOU THE HELL OUT OF MINE.

ALL RIGHT, GET THE HELL UP, AND LET'S GO TO WORK.

COME ON, LINDA. DON'T TAKE YOUR TIME.

COME ON. COME ON.

DANNY, DON'T FALL INTO THIS.

THAT'S IT!

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID!

GET IT?

DUDE, WILL YOU JUST GIVE IT A REST, OKAY?

YOUR JOKES DON'T EVEN MAKE SENSE.

YEAH, RIGHT, SAM. THEY'RE SO ANNOYING.

OKAY!

YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE.

NO, WE WON'T.

TWO GUYS AND A GIRL WALK INTO A DINER ‐‐

AND THEY DON'T PAY THE DAMN BILL,

AND THEY'RE FOUND... IN THE ALLEY...OUT BACK...

WITH HOLES IN THEIR TORSO.

YOU KNOW THIS ONE?

NO, BUT YOU WILL IF YOU DON'T PAY YOUR DAMN BILL.

BILL BE DAMNED.

LET ME SEE THAT.

LET ME SEE THAT!

WHOA!

SAM, YOU ‐‐ YOU OWE THAT MUCH?

YES, HE DOES.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU PAID YOUR TAB?

ABOUT A MONTH AGO, WITH YOUR GRANDMA.

Together: UGH!

STOP.

JUST STOP IT. DON'T NOBODY WANT TO HEAR THAT.

[ Chuckling ] THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID.

AND SHE WOULDN'T LET ME LEAVE.

YOU GONNA HAVE TO PAY YOUR BILL.

I KNOW.

SO, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING TONIGHT, FLOYD?

NOT THAT, WHATEVER YOU'RE THINKING.

I MEAN, COME ON, FLOYD.

IT'LL BE MUCH EASIER WITH YOU THAN WITH MAMA HATTIE.

I GUESS SO. I GOT LESS HAIR.

MNH.

UGH!

SOMEBODY SAY MY NAME?

NO, BUT SAM'S BROKE ASS IS ABOUT TO BE SCREAMING IT.

HEY, SAMSON.

HI, "DIE‐LILAH."

DON'T SAY ANYTHING, MOM.

Yeah, I won't say anything.

WHAT ARE YOU NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY ANYTHING ABOUT?

LINDA WENT OUT ON A DATE WITH WILL

AND THE WHOLE TIME SHE WAS OUT ON HER DATE WITH WILL,

SHE WAS THINKING ABOUT PHILIP

'CAUSE HE KISSED HER ON HER LIPS AND SHE SAID IT WAS SO G‐‐

GOOD.

THANKS A LOT, MAMA.

FOR WHAT?

I ASKED YOU NOT TO SAY ANYTHING.

OH, I‐I ‐‐ YOU ‐‐ I DIDN'T ‐‐ YOU ‐‐

YOU DIDN'T SAY NOTHING ABOUT NOT WHO TO SAY NOTHING TO

WITH ‐‐ WITH ‐‐ WITH THEM PEOPLES.

YOU ARE THE WORST.

NO, I'M ACTUALLY THE BEST.

ASK YOUR DAD. AAH!

ENOUGH!

YEAH, GRANDMA, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE ME LOSE HATTIE PATTIES.

IT'S TOO LATE FOR ME.

SAM... YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME.

UGH.

AND YOU THINK I'M SEXY.

GO AHEAD, SAMMY. TELL ME SO.

TELL ME SO, BABY.

STOP IT.

IT TURNING YOU ON, THEN?

YES.

[ High‐pitched voice ] AND I HATE IT.

YOU KNOW THEY SAY ONCE YOU STRIKE OLD,

YOU GETS THE GOLD.

24‐KARAT, BABY.

THEY ALSO SAY ONCE YOU GO THAT OLD,

OH, YOU GONNA FIND SOME MOLD.

OKAY, OKAY, ALLOW ME TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

MISS LINDA, DID I HEAR THAT YOU KISSED PHILIP?

MISS LINDA, TURN DOWN!

TURN DOWN, MISS LINDA!

[ INHALES SHARPLY ] YEAH.

YEAH. I DID.

IT WAS ‐‐ MMM.

MMM. MMM.

LIN, COME BACK, BABY! COME BACK!

YOU WENT ALL THE WAY TO THE ALTAR

ON THAT ONE, DIDN'T YOU?

OR TO THE MARITAL BED.

WELL!

HOW WAS IT, GIRL? DID YOU ‐‐ MMM!

DID YOU GET SAVED?

WHOO!

THAT IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS, YOUNG LADY.

SHE SAID IT WAS GOOD.

AND THAT'S WHY SHE'S SO CONFUSED ‐‐

'CAUSE IT WAS SO GOOD.

MAMA!

I KNOW, BABY, BUT HE KISSED ME.

I DIDN'T KISS HIM.

MMM. BUT HOW WAS IT, THOUGH?

I MEAN, DID YOU ‐‐ DID YOU TAKE THAT BIG, CHOCOLATE,

SEXY, BALD HEAD... AND TURN IT TO THE SIDE?

EWWWW!

I'M SORRY. [ CHUCKLES ] FANTASY HERE.

WORK WITH ME. WORK WITH ME.

I'M WORKING, AND IT'S A NIGHTMARE HERE!

HOLD ON.

AM I NOT THE REPRESENTATIVE

TO BIG, CHOCOLATE, DARK, BLACK, BALD HEADS HERE?

OH, SHUT THE HELL UP, FLOYD.

YOU KNOW DAMN WELL SHE WASN'T TALKING ABOUT YOU.

IN OTHER NEWS... BACK TO YOU, LINDA.

NO, NOT BACK TO HER.

THIS IS PRIVATE.

THANK YOU, DANNY.

MAMA, YOU KISSED HIM?!

UH, UH, BABY, HE KISSED ME.

BUT LISTEN. I'M WITH WILL.

WE'RE SEEING EACH OTHER. AND THAT IS THAT.

MNH‐MNH. NO, NO, NO, GIRL.

IT DON'T SEEM LIKE THAT'S THAT.

SEEM TO ME SHE CONFUSED AS HELL.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT SHE'S SO CONFUSED ABOUT.

ONLY THING SHE NEEDS TO DO IS JUST GET PHILIP.

WHO'S..."FLUH"?

QUIT TRYING TO BE FUNNY, SAM.

YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT ‐‐ PHILIP.

WHAT?

LET ME STEP IN HERE.

I SPEAK HATTINESE.

WHAT SHE'S SAYING IS "PHILIP."

THAT'S WHAT I SAID ‐‐ PHILIP!

AH, I THINK I NEED TO GET A THESAURUS

SO I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT DINOSAURUS.

HE TALKING ABOUT ‐‐ HE TALKING ABOUT ME?

STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES,

BUT THESE BONES KEEP YOU COMING BACK FOR MORE, BOO‐BOO!

I DON'T KNOW HOW I LET HIM KISS ME.

I MEAN, I'M WITH WILL.

I'M SUCH A HOR‐‐ HORRIBLE PERSON.

OH, BABY, YOU'RE NOT A HOR...RIBLE PERSON.

YOU'RE JUST A WHORE.

YEAH. WHEREAS ME AND YOUR DAD ‐‐

I ALWAYS KEPT ME ONE OVER THERE

AND TWO, THREE OVER THERE ON THAT SIDE ‐‐

AH, AH, AH, WAIT! AH! HEY!

[ Singsong voice ] HELLO!

YOU ARE NOT GONNA STAND HERE AND CONTINUE TO TALK

ABOUT CHEATING ON MY DECEASED, BELOVED BROTHER.

FLOYD, DON'T YOU STAND THERE AND ACT

LIKE HE AIN'T KNOW WHAT WAS GOING ON!

HE KNEW VERY WELL WHAT WAS GOING ON!

NO, HE DID NOT!

YES, HE DID, TOO!

YOU DON'T KNOW MY POWERS OF PERSUASION!

WHAT?!

HE WAS STANDING THERE WATCHING.

AAH!

HE WAS LOOKING THE WHOLE TIME.

♪♪ I CAN MAKE A BLIND MAN SEE ♪♪

♪♪ AND I CAN CATCH A FISH WITHOUT A HOOK, BABY ♪♪

♪♪ AND I MADE YOUR [High‐pitched voice] BROTHER ♪♪

♪♪ STAND THERE AND LOOK WHILE I WAS "TRA‐BUM‐OH..." ♪♪

UNH‐UNH. NO. STOP.

COME ON, NOW. STOP.

YOU KNOW THAT HIP IS RUSTED.

IT'S TRUE. I AM THE TIN MAN, AND I DO SERVICE OFTEN.

MAMA, COME AND SIT DOWN.

LOOK, YOU'RE STILL DATING WILL,

SO YOU DON'T NEED TO BE CONFUSED ABOUT THIS.

I KNOW, BABY, BUT I LET ANOTHER MAN KISS ME.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

BABY, YOU SOUND JUST LIKE WILL.

MNH‐MNH, MY VOICE IS MUCH DEEPER THAN THAT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

WILL.

Together: DAMN!

Will: WHAT DID YOU SAY?

WILL...

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

YOU KNOW WHAT? HE GONNA HAVE TO STOP POPPING UP LIKE THIS.

YEAH. I KNOW.

He's like the Candyman.

The Candyman?

THE CANDYMAN?! NO!

NO! DON'T SAY IT! ALL RIGHT! OKAY.

DON'T SAY IT THREE TIMES. DON'T BRING HIM HERE.

WHAT DID YOU SAY, LINDA?

SHE SAID SHE KISSED ANOTHER MAN!

DAMN!

I MEAN SHE KISSED HIM SO HARD, SHE FLOSSED HIS TEETH.

MM.

HE NEAR ABOUT PULLED HER TONSILS OUT.

HIS TONGUE WAS SO FAR DOWN HER THROAT.

[ Hoarsely ] MM. THAT'S WHY SHE'S SO HOARSE.

[ LAUGHS ] YOU KNOW?

YEAH, FLOYD!

YOU SEEN PHILIP?

YOU KNOW HE GOT THAT SEXY, CHOCOLATE, BALD HEAD.

SHE TOOK THAT THING, AND SHE TURNED IT TO THE SIDE.

MNH. NO. DREW.

TO THE SIDE. DREW. COME ON.

COME BACK.

SAY MY NAME, YOU BALD‐HEADED BEAST!

DREW! DON'T ‐‐

SAY ‐‐ HEY.

WAKE UP. WAKE UP.

BABE. DREW, BABY, COME BACK. COME BACK.

I‐I‐I‐IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, Y'ALL.

IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

MY BAD. MY BAD.

WILL ‐‐

BABY, WHAT DID YOU SAY?

HE MUST NOT HEAR GOOD!

[ Loudly ] APPARENTLY NOT!

DAMN!

WHAT SHE SAID WA‐‐ I HEARD HER.

WELL, IF YOU HEARD WHAT SHE SAID,

WHAT THE HELL YOU KEEP ASKING SHE SAID FOR?!

'CAUSE I WANT HER TO TELL ME.

I ALREADY DID!

MAMA!

WHAT?

I GOT THIS ONE.

APPARENTLY, YOU GOT TWO!

OH! RIGHT?! [ LAUGHS ]

THAT WAS A GOOD ONE! BOW!

[ LAUGHTER ] BOW!

OW! I TRIED.

HEY, I TRY, YOU KNOW? IT'S A GIFT.

IT AIN'T ME. IT'S HIM. GLORY.

IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

SHE JUST ‐‐

[ SIGHS ]

JUST...

WILL ‐‐ WILL YOU ALL PLEASE STOP?

OKAY, OKAY, GUYS. COME ON. LET'S GO.

MY MOM NEEDS TO TALK TO WILL.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, SHE DOES.

THAT WAS A ROOKIE MISTAKE RIGHT THERE.

Floyd: MM.

I MEAN, SHE PRACTICALLY GAVE HERSELF UP.

RIGHT?

I MEAN, YOU ALWAYS...

CHECK THE CORNERS BEFORE YOU SPEAK.

JUST A‐TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING.

AT LEAST SHE SHOULD HAVE JUST LOOKED OVER HER SHOULDER.

OOH! NOT WITH THAT BIG‐ASS HEAD.

MNH.

NO, NOW, FLOYD, THE PROBLEM IS,

FLOYD, SHE AIN'T GOT NO GAME.

GOT TO HAVE GAME, BABY.

SHE AIN'T GO NONE, SON.

SHE DISAPPOINTS ME SO MUCH SOMETIMES.

ME TOO.

I MEAN, I AM HER MAMA, AND I'M A PLAYER, YOU KNOW. YEAH.

GUESS IT'S ABOUT TIME TO TEACH HER THE ROPES.

YOU'RE ALL GONNA HAVE TO LOOK OVER YOUR SHOULDERS

IF YOU DON'T GET OUT OF HERE NOW.

I'M OUT!

I'M OVER HERE.

WELL, I DON'T TAKE TOO KINDLY TO THREATS,

BUT I'M ONLY GONNA BE AN EARSHOT AWAY.

AND THEN IN CASE SOME SHOTS POP OFF,

I'M GONNA BE RIGHT HERE.

I GOT YOUR BACK.

LINDA...

YES?

...WHAT WERE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

HUH?

YOU HEARD ME.

OH. [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]

I SAID I HISSED AT SOMEONE THIS MORNING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU KNOW I'M MEAN IN THE MORNINGS...

JUST LIKE MY MAMA.

I ALSO KNOW YOU'RE NOT A LIAR.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

SO, IS THERE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO TELL ME?

[ SIGHS ] I KISSED SOMEONE.

WHEN?

LAST NIGHT, AND I FEEL REALLY...

REALLY BAD ABOUT IT.

NO, SHE DON'T.

WHO DID YOU KISS?

"FLUH"!

MAMA.

I'M SORRY.

PHILIP.

THE ELECTRICIAN THAT WAS HERE?

YES.

YOU TOLD ME THE BOTH OF YOU WERE JUST FRIENDS.

WELL, WE ARE, BUT HE TOLD ME HE'S INTERESTED IN ME.

[ SCOFFS ] WHEN?

LIKE A WEEK OR TWO AGO?

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?

I DIDN'T THINK IT WAS A BIG DEAL.

I TOLD HIM WE WERE SEEING EACH OTHER

AND HE HAD TO RESPECT THAT AND THAT WAS IT.

AND WHAT DID HE SAY?

BEFORE OR AFTER HE KISSED ME?

LINDA.

UM...SORRY.

I‐I DON'T KNOW HOW I LET HIM KISS ME.

I KNOW HOW HE DID.

ME TOO. [ CHUCKLES ]

SHE WANTED IT!

WILL YOU TWO STOP, PLEASE?

Together: WE CAN'T HELP IT.

DON'T YOU HAVE CUSTOMERS YOU NEED TO HELP?

NOPE.

SELF‐SERVE TODAY.

WILL...

YES?

IT WAS JUST A LITTLE PECK, I'M SURE.

YEAH. YEAH.

SHE'S TURNED A DAMN LIAR.

[ LAUGHS ]

LINDA.

WELL...

LINDA.

IF YOU CALL A "PECK" TONGUE CALISTHENICS.

[ MUMBLING ]

SO, IT WAS AN OPEN‐MOUTH KISS?

YEP, I'M AFRAID SO, SPORT.

I'M SO SORRY.

HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN?

WELL, WE WERE ‐‐ I KNOW.

I‐IT CAUGHT ME OFF GUARD.

OH.

BUT WHEN YOU'RE CAUGHT OFF GUARD, YOU PULL BACK, LINDA.

BUT I‐I WAS ‐‐ BUT WHAT ‐‐

YEP, SHE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO DO IT.

SHE JUST COULD NOT RESIST IT.

SHE JUST DIDN'T WANT TO TURN IT LOOSE.

I KNOW THAT'S RIGHT.

TURN DOWN FOR WHAT?!

I WANTED TO.

BUT...?

BUT I DIDN'T.

WHY?

I DON'T KNOW.

OKAY.

YOU'RE UPSET?

NO. I MEAN, MY WOMAN'S KISSING ANOTHER MAN.

I'M NOT UPSET.

WHEW! GOOD. 'CAUSE I WAS WOR‐‐ WHEW!

[ LAUGHS ]

[ SIGHS ]

THAT WAS SARCASM, LINDA.

SCHEWWWW. OH.

OH. UM, I ‐‐ I'M SORRY.

I PROMISE IT'LL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.

ARE YOU SURE? YES.

I'M SO SORRY.

WE'RE NOT DONE WITH THIS.

I KNOW. I KNOW.

BUT ‐‐ BUT WHAT BROUGHT YOU BY?

OH, I CAME BY TO INVITE YOU

TO GO TO THE CONCERT WITH ME TONIGHT.

OH, THAT SOUNDS NICE.

WHO'S PLAYING AT THE CONCERT?

KISS? [ BOTH LAUGH ]

HEY, YO! I GOT S‐‐ I'M DOING IT!

OKAY.

I'LL PICK YOU UP AT 7:00.

OKAY. ALL RIGHT?

AND THANKS FOR UNDERSTANDING.

SURE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT?

OKAY. BYE. BYE.

Floyd: OH, HE CRAZY AS HELL.

YEAH.

GIRL, YOU BETTER NOT GO NOWHERE WITH HIM.

HE WAS TOO COOL. YOU MIGHT COME UP MISSING.

THEY'LL ONLY BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE HER BY THE SKULL SIZE.