Original subtitles

OKAY, SO WHY ARE WE ALL HERE, AGAIN?

BECAUSE MY GRANDMOTHER INVITED US OVER.

OH, THAT'S A REASON TO COME.

WELL, WHO'S INSIDE?

WILL.

YOU STILL GETTING VIBES?

YES.

NEVER MIND THAT,

LET'S JUST GO INSIDE AND GET THIS OVER WITH.

[ SIGHS ] I HATE BEING NICE TO THE ELDERLY.

IT'S SO...OLD.

COME ON.

Y'ALL LATE.

YEAH, WE HAD TO START THE MOVIE. WILL HAS TO LEAVE.

DID YOU WATCH IT YET? YEAH.

AW, THAT'S TOO BAD.

MAMA, YOU ALWAYS WAIT FOR ME.

I KNOW, BABY, BUT WILL HAS TO LEAVE ON BUSINESS.

OH, GREAT.

JUST GREAT!

COME ON, BABY, LET ME WALK YOU OUT.

OKAY.

Hattie Mae: OH, OH, OH, WAIT A MINUTE.

WILL...

YES?

DID YOU EVER GET THAT INFORMATION FROM THE BANK

ON THE WOMAN THAT TOOK YOUR MONEY?

THE BANK IS GETTING THE FOOTAGE TO ME.

WELL, HOW LONG IT TAKE?

MAMA.

WHAT?

STOP IT.

WHEN HE GETS IT, WE'LL ALL KNOW.

OKAY, FINE.

COME ON, WILL. ALL RIGHT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ GROWLS ]

I DON'T LIKE HIM!

I DON'T, EITHER!

I THOUGHT PHILIP WAS SUPPOSED TO ASK HER OUT.

[ SIGHS ] YEAH. WHY HASN'T HE DONE THAT?

HE WAS SUPPOSED TO DONE IT LAST NIGHT.

WELL, SHE'S GOT TO GET AWAY FROM THAT LOSER.

DANNY, I'M TELLING YOU. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT GUY.

YOU DON'T KNOW ABOUT ANY GUY...

'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW ANY GUYS.

THAT'S SO FUNNY, SAM, BECAUSE I'VE HEARD

THAT YOU'VE KNOWN A GUY OR TWO.

IT WAS A COLLEGE DARE.

AND REMIND ME NOT TO SLEEP WITH YOU AGAIN.

HATTIE...

REMIND ME TO DIE IF I EVER.

YOU ALREADY DID.

I CAN'T DO THIS.

YOU DID THAT NIGHT.

OKAY!

OKAY!

OKAY.

NO MOVIE! I'M LEAVING!

BYE, SAM.

[ YELLS INDISTINCTLY ]

HE IS ‐‐

[ YELLING CONTINUES ]

HE IS REALLY MAD. [ LAUGHS ]

OKAY, I GUESS WE'RE LEAVING, GRANDMA.

ALL RIGHT, BABY.

REALLY? THIS IS WHAT I GOT ALL DRESSED UP FOR?

IS THAT WHAT YOU CALLS "DRESSED UP"?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

YOU WEAR THE SAME THING EVERY DAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

THIS IS CALLED "FASHION," FLIPPER.

NOW, GET OUT BEFORE I FLIP A BIRD TO YOU.

WELL, I HAVE NEVER!

AND YOU'VE NEVER...

WELL, AT LEAST MY EYE WASN'T OVER THERE THAT TIME.

GRANDMA, WE'VE GOT TO GET PHILIP TO MAKE A MOVE ON HER.

YEAH, I KNOW.

HE PO' TAPPED THAT ICE LAST NIGHT.

AT HIS HOUSE.

NO, NOT TAP IT! NOT SEX!

WELL, WHAT YOU THINK MAKE HIM MOVE HERE?

PEW! PEW! PEW! PEW!

PEW!

PEW‐PEW‐PEW‐PEW!

OH! OH, NOT THE SPLITS, GRANDMA!

COME HELP ME UP FROM HERE.

SEE, IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ‐‐

[As Hattie Mae] "DANNY DOESN'T OWE ANY MONEY."

UH...

I AIN'T SAID THAT! I AIN'T EVEN WROTE THAT!

HATTIE, WHA‐‐

SO...?

SO, WHAT?

OH, HELL!

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

YEAH, DID YOU ASK MY MOM OUT?

NO, HE DIDN'T.

WHAT HAPPENED?

NO SWAG.

TOLD YOU, FLOYD.

YOU SURE DID, HATTIE.

MM. KNEW HE WASN'T GONNA DO IT.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?

I KNOW, RIGHT? YOU'VE GOT TO ASK HER OUT.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

HELL TO FREEZE OVER.

MUST BE.

I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THIS BY NOW.

YEAH, RIGHT.

'CAUSE YOU KNOW WE GOT TO GET RID OF THIS WILL GUY.

I'M SO DISAPPOINTED IN YOU.

I'M SO WITH HIM, TOO.

YOU NEED TO MAN UP, GET SOME BACKBONE.

HM. LIKE I SAID, NO SWAG.

NONE, SON.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HELL, DANNY GOT MORE SWAG THAN HIM.

YOU THINK SO, FLOYD?

HELL NO. [ LAUGHS ]

YOU KNOW I'M PLAYING.

IT'S DANNY, OKAY?

HEY! HEY, HEY! I HAVE SWAGGER.

NO, YOU DO NOT.

YOU WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO GET A GIRL

IF SHE COME AND LICK YOUR NIPPLE.

WE GONNA GET YOU TESTED.

FLOYD, LEAVE MY GRANDBABY ALONE.

HE A LATE BLOOMER.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME.

THIS IS ABOUT THIS MAN RIGHT HERE.

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. OLD SWAGLESS PHILIP.

CAN'T EVEN ASK MY MOTHER OUT.

DON'T NOBODY WANT NO WEAK‐ASS MAN.

MAN UP!

YEAH, THEY WANT A SOLID MAN.

STRONG MAN.

POWERFUL MAN.

[ Gruffly ] A REAL MAN.

A SEXY, BALD‐HEADED, NICE MAN.

HATTIE!

BACK.

WHAT? I'M A WOMAN. I KNOW WHAT WE WANT.

AND I SHALL NOT WANT.

HE MAKETH ME TO LIE DOWN.

[ SNAPS ]

YOU GONNA GET STRUCK DOWN.

COME ON BACK.

I APOLOGIZE. I WAS JUST PLAYING.

I WAS JUST TEASING. I WAS JUST TEASING.

OKAY, LOOK, LOOK. CAN I SAY SOMETHING?

HELL NO.

YOU CAN'T SAY A WORD RIGHT NOW.

RIGHT. UNLESS IT'S, "DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME?"

DANNY! OH, NO!

DON'T COME OUT NOW!

NO, NO. I‐I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

THAT ‐‐ THAT'S WHAT HE SHOULD SAY TO MY MOTHER.

NOT ME TO HIM.

OKAY. CAN I SAY SOMETHING?

I SAID, "HELL NO."

FINE.

WAIT, LET'S JUST HEAR THE MAN.

...WITH NO SWAG.

SPEAK, OH SWAGGERLESS ONE.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY, I DID ASK HER OUT.

WHAT?

WELL, SORT OF, KIND OF.

EITHER YOU DID SORT OF, OR YOU DIDN'T SORT OF.

I ASKED HER TO COME OVER.

AND COOK DINNER?!

THAT AIN'T NO DAMN DATE!

YOU RIGHT.

YOU GOT TO TAKE HER OUT.

RIGHT. LISTEN.

W‐WELL, WHAT IS IT? GET TO IT.

I COOKED.

OH. OH, HELL.

WHAT?

THIS JUST WENT FROM BAD TO WORSE.

YOU COOKED?

YES.

AND WHAT HAPPENED?

[ CHUCKLES ] WELL, I SET THE MOOD.

OKAY.

I DIMMED THE LIGHTS. UH‐HUH.

LIT THE CANDLE.

OOH.

TURNED ON THE SEXY MUSIC.

[ SQUEALS ]

CHILLED THE WINE AND GOT ‐‐

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. SHE DON'T DRINK WINE.

THE HELL YOU PREACH?

MY MAMA DRINKS?

LIKE A FISH.

PREACH. WHAT?

YEAH, SHE WAS DRUNK AS HELL THE WHOLE NINE MONTHS WITH YOU.

YEAH.

YOU WERE JUST DRUNK WHEN YOU COME OUT OF THERE.

YOU WASN'T IN WATER. YOU WAS IN LIQUOR.

MM‐HMM.

YOU MISSED YOUR WHOLE FIRST ‐‐ FIRST YEAR, YOU WAS SO DRUNK.

YOU JUST ‐‐

YOU DIDN'T START SCHOOL UNTIL YOU WAS 12.

YOU THE ONLY BABY I KNOW

HAD TO GET A BREATHALYZER WHEN HE WAS BORN.

DAMN! YOU WAS TORE UP!

YOUR EYES USED TO ‐‐ I'D SAY, "HEY, BABY."

YOUR EYES USED TO CROSS UP THERE.

RIGHT THEN, I KNEW YOU HAD BISEXUAL EYES.

YEAH.

YEAH, WE WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU WHEN YOU WAS BORN.

YEAH. [ HICCUPS ]

EVERYBODY, JUST FOCUS.

GO AHEAD, FLIP.

IT'S PHILIP!

THAT WHAT I SAID ‐‐ FLIP.

LONG STORY SHORT,

SHE SAID SHE WASN'T INTERESTED IN ME,

'CAUSE SHE WAS WITH WILL.

AND SHE PROBABLY SHOULDN'T COME OVER TO MY HOUSE ANYMORE.

OH, HELL.

DAMN!

GUESS YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

YES, SIR. I BELIEVE I DO.

[ SIGHS ] GUESS WE'RE STUCK WITH WILL.

DAMN! DAMN!DAMN!

MAMA.

MAMA. HUH?

CAN YOU TAKE TABLE FIVE?

WHY?

YOU JUST SHOULD.

OH, THERE AIN'T NOBODY OVER THERE BUT FLIP.

WHAT'S WRONG?

HE HIT ON ME THE OTHER NIGHT.

HE DID?

DID YOU GIVE IT UP?

MAMA!

WHAT?

YEAH. FLIP A GOOD‐LOOKING MAN.

I'M NOT INTO HIM.

WHY NOT?

I GOT A MAN.

WILL?

YES, AND WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A WAY.

AND WHERE THERE'S A WILL, THERE'S A CORPSE.

DON'T START.

I AIN'T STARTING NOTHING.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH FLIP?

I JUST DON'T SEE HIM LIKE THAT.

WELL, LOOK AGAIN.

MAMA, HE'S BEEN MARRIED.

AND? AND HAS TWO KIDS.

AND?

AND IS STILL IN LOVE WITH HIS DEAD WIFE.

AND? WHAT?

HELL, SOME OF MY MEN WERE STILL IN LOVE

WITH THEY WIVES THAT WERE LIVING.

BUT YOU BEST BELIEVE I CHANGED THEIR MIND.

STOP IT, MAMA.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT, AND I'M NOT TAKING THAT TABLE.

WELL, I GUESS HE'LL BE SITTING THERE LOOKING LIKE A FOOL

'CAUSE I'M NOT TAKING IT, EITHER.

FINE.

FINE.

LOOK, FLOYD.

Floyd: GAH!

YES?

CAN YOU WAIT ON PHILIP?

WHY WOULD I WANT TO DO THAT?

'CAUSE I CAN'T.

WHY NOT?

JUST DO IT.

HE DON'T TIP.

I KNOW.

SO I AIN'T GETTING READY TO GO OVER THERE.

FINE.

FINE. GO ON.

HI.

HI.

COFFEE?

SURE, PLEASE.

UH...WAIT.

YES?

[ CLEARS THROAT ] I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

ABOUT?

THE OTHER NIGHT. I SHOULDN'T HAVE, UM...

IT'S ‐‐ IT'S FINE.

I WASN'T TRYING TO MAKE YOU UNCOMFORTABLE.

YOU DIDN'T.

SO CAN WE BE COOL?

YEAH, LET'S JUST GO BACK TO HOW IT USED TO BE.

I'M REALLY SORRY, OKAY?

NO PROBLEM.

UM, I STILL NEED HELP WITH MY DAUGHTER.

I CAN HELP YOU, PHILIP, BUT NO MORE TRICKS, OKAY?

OKAY. SO, YOU COMIN' OVER?

DIDN'T I JUST SAY NO MORE TRICKS?

IT'S NOT A TRICK.

WELL, CAN YOU BRING HER HERE?

YEAH.

ACTUALLY, BRING HER TO MY MOTHER'S HOUSE

AFTER SHE GETS OUT OF SCHOOL.

I GET OFF HERE AT 5:00.

OKAY. WILL DO.

OKAY.

SO, WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING.

DID HE ASK YOU OUT?

MAMA!

WHAT?

WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU?

SHE DON'T WANT ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF YOU WAS A LION IN THE JUNGLE, YOU WOULD STARVE TO DEATH.

YOU NEED TO PUT THE SMACK DOWN ON HER.

YOU HEAR ME? HM.

NOW, YOU GO HOME, YOU PUT ON YOUR FINEST PIECES,

AND YOU PUT ON SOME OF THAT GOOD‐SMELLING PERFUME

AND JUST RUB IT

ALL OVER YOUR HEAD AND EVERYTHING,

AND WHEN YOU COME TO THAT HOUSE WITH YOUR DAUGHTER,

YOU BE STANDING THERE LOOKING REAL NICE.

HOW DO YOU KNOW I'M GOING TO THE HOUSE?

BECAUSE I HEARS EVERYTHING.

DOG HEARING.

HM?

SHUT UP, FLOYD!

YOU ‐‐ YOU GOT ME?

WHEN YOU COME NEAR THAT HOUSE,

YOU BETTER BE SMELLING DAMN GOOD.

SOMEBODY WILL WANT TO SOP YOU UP WITH A BISCUIT.

YOU GOT ME? YES, MA'AM.

YOU GOT ME? YES, MA'AM.

ALL RIGHT.

BOY, THAT HEARING IS SERIOUS.

[ CHUCKLES ] SHUT UP, FLOYD.

I THINK YOU A HATER.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, NO.

YOU AIN'T GOT TO BE JOWER, FLOYD.

DON'T BE JOWER. YOU AIN'T GOT TO BE JOWER

[ LAUGHS ]

SHE NEEDS SOME MORE GLUE.

WATCH ‐‐ WATCH THIS.

WHO IN THE HELL IS BLOWING THAT DOG WHISTLE?

[ DOORBELL RINGING ]

I GET IT.

I SAID DON'T WORRY ABOUT COMING DOWN, NOW.

I GET IT.

OLD LADY SELF AIN'T GONNA GET NOTHIN' ON HER.

FLIP!

[ LAUGHS ]

IT'S PHILIP.

SHUT UP.

HEY.

DAMN!

WHAT?

♪♪ BOY, YOU KNOW YOU LOOKING GOOD ♪♪

♪♪ LIKE YOU SAY YOU WOULD ♪♪

[ LAUGHS ]

THANK YOU.

YEAH. YEAH.

WHERE YOUR DAUGHTER AT?

OH. SEE, I ACTUALLY CAME OVER HERE TO CANCEL

BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER'S AT A SLEEPOVER.

YOU SAID WHAT?

SHE GONNA THINK I'M PLAYING GAMES AGAIN, SO...

YEAH. SHE ‐‐ SHE GONNA THINK THAT.

I'M JUST GONNA LEAVE.

UNH‐UNH. HOLD ON, NOW.

YOU AIN'T FITTIN' TO DO THAT.

COME ON IN. COME ON IN. SIT DOWN.

SIT DOWN. GO AHEAD. SIT DOWN.

HAVE A SEAT. HAVE A SEAT. ALL RIGHT.

I'M GONNA RUN UP HERE AND GET LINDA,

AND I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, HEAR?

OH, YES, MA'AM. YEAH.

LINDA!

LINDA!

FLIP HERE.

Linda: YES? ARE THEY HERE?

YEAH. HALF OF THEM.

ONLY FLIP HERE.

SHUT IT UP.

THERE GO FLIP.

I'M GONNA GO ‐‐

I'M GONNA GO UPSTAIRS AND LET Y'ALL HAVE

some privacy.

HEY. WHERE'S YOUR DAUGHTER?

WAIT? NOT THIS AGAIN.

LET ME EXPLAIN. GO AHEAD.

MY DAUGHTER'S AT A SLEEPOVER. IT WAS NOT ON THE CALENDAR.

OKAY.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

SO DO YOU.

WELL, HANDSOME, NOT BEAUTIFUL.

THANK YOU.

I BETTER GO.

OKAY.

LET THEM TOES CROSS THAT THRESHOLD,

I'M GONNA BREAK BOTH OF YOUR ANKLES.

WEREN'T YOU JUST UPSTAIRS?

I KNOW HOW TO FLY.

YEAH.

SO, YOU GOING SOMEWHERE?

PHILIP.

WHAT?

DON'T.

DON'T WHAT?

DON'T DO THIS AGAIN.

WHAT AM I DOING?

LISTEN. I AM GOING SOMEWHERE.

I'M GOING OUT WITH WILL.

OKAY.

YOU REALLY LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

YOU ALREADY SAID THAT.

SORRY.

STOP APOLOGIZING FOR EVERYTHING.

I'M SORRY, I JUST...

THERE YOU GO AGAIN.

WELL, I JUST ‐‐

DON'T. DON'T.

[ SIGHS ] LISTEN, PHILIP,

YOU'RE A REALLY, REALLY NICE GUY,

AND YOU'RE GONNA FIND

A REALLY, REALLY NICE GIRL SOME DAY.

I WANT YOU.

I'M SPOKEN FOR.

I SPEAK MUCH LOUDER.

GOODBYE, PHILIP.

OKAY, I WON'T EVER BOTHER YOU AGAIN.

LISTEN, YOU'RE NOT BOTHERING ME.

YOU JUST NEED TO UNDERSTAND THAT I DON'T FEEL THE SAME WAY,

AND NOTHING IS EVER, EVER GONNA HAPPEN.

BUT ‐‐ MM! MM!

MM! MM!

MMM!

MMM!

MMM! MMM!

MMM!

...TO CHANGE THAT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M NOT APOLOGIZING.

PHILIP?

YES?

WHERE YOU GOING?

I'M LEAVING.

WHY?

DON'T YOU HAVE A DATE? REMEMBER?

YEAH, WITH, UM ‐‐

OH, WHAT IS HIS NAME?

WHAT IS HIS NAME?

Hattie Mae: THAT BASTARD'S NAMED WILL.

RIGHT.

UM, WITH WILL.

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

BYE.

Hattie Mae: BET YOU NEED A COLD SHOWER NOW.

DID YOU RUB HIS BALD HEAD?

I WANTED TO.

IS YOUR HEAD GONNA POP?

I KNOW IT FEELS LIKE IT.

YOU BETTER TALK TO JESUS.

THE LORD IS YOUR SHEPHERD. HE KNOW WHAT YOU WANT!

BUT WILL MIGHT MAKETH YOU TO LIE DOWN.

[ LAUGHS ]