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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,709 HEY! I WAS WAITING FOR YOU GUYS. 2 00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,544 HEY, DREW. [ SIGHS ] 3 00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:13,146 THAT THING WAS SO SAD. 4 00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,648 WELL, WHAT WAS SAD? 5 00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,250 WE JUST CAME FROM MY UNCLE'S FUNERAL. 6 00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,185 I'M SCARED. 7 00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,420 IT WAS BAD? 8 00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,823 YEAH. 9 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,626 I THOUGHT IT WAS BEAUTIFUL. 10 00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,628 ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! 11 00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,265 THERE WAS PEOPLE RUNNING UP AND DOWN THE AISLES SCREAMING! 12 00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:34,935 THEY WERE TRYING TO GRAB THE CORPSE OUT OF THE CASKET! 13 00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:38,038 THEY DO THAT AT ALL BLACK "FUNES"! 14 00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,172 WHAT? 15 00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:42,509 THEY DO THAT AT ALL BLACK "FUNES"! 16 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,444 FUNERALS. 17 00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,613 OHHHH. 18 00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,616 THAT'S WHAT I SAID ‐‐ "FUNES." 19 00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,017 WELL, WHO WAS THAT WOMAN? 20 00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,086 HIS WIFE. 21 00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,055 WELL, WHO WERE ALL THE OTHER WOMEN THAT WERE FIGHTING? 22 00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,023 HIS OTHER WIVES. 23 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,835 YEAH, HE WAS A MAN... WITH A LOT OF WIVES. 24 00:01:02,903 --> 00:01:06,206 AND A WHOLE LOT OF WOMEN. 25 00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:07,440 WELL, GRANDMA, 26 00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,576 I THOUGHT THE SPEECH YOU GAVE ABOUT HIM WAS GOOD. 27 00:01:09,576 --> 00:01:12,546 YEAH, MISS HATTIE, IT WAS REAL HEARTFELT. 28 00:01:12,546 --> 00:01:15,048 I WAS LYING THROUGH MY DAMN TEETH. 29 00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,084 MAMA, IN CHURCH? 30 00:01:18,084 --> 00:01:20,987 YEAH! THE BIBLE SAID, "IF YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHING GOOD, 31 00:01:20,987 --> 00:01:22,455 DON'T SAY NOTHING AT ALL." 32 00:01:22,455 --> 00:01:24,658 MAMA, THE BIBLE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING LIKE THAT. 33 00:01:24,658 --> 00:01:27,260 WAIT ‐‐ SO ALL OF THOSE THINGS YOU WERE SAYING WEREN'T TRUE? 34 00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,563 NOPE. 35 00:01:29,563 --> 00:01:31,297 WELL, WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THOSE THINGS 36 00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:32,833 ABOUT HIM BEING A GREAT FRIEND? 37 00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:35,135 HE WAS A BASTARD! 38 00:01:35,135 --> 00:01:39,005 WHAT ABOUT ALL THE THINGS ABOUT HIM BEING A GREAT FATHER? 39 00:01:39,005 --> 00:01:41,241 HE DIDN'T KNOW OVER HALF OF HIS KIDS. 40 00:01:42,676 --> 00:01:44,144 AND BEING A GREAT PROVIDER? 41 00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:46,046 NOT IN LIFE OR DEATH. 42 00:01:47,814 --> 00:01:50,050 HE DIDN'T LEAVE THEM A DIME. 43 00:01:52,418 --> 00:01:55,288 HE DIDN'T DO NOTHING BUT PARTY AND DRINK HIS MONEY AWAY. 44 00:01:55,288 --> 00:01:59,726 HE DIDN'T HAVE NO FRIEND TO PAY FOR THE "FUNE." 45 00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:03,604 FUNERAL! 46 00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:06,840 IS THAT WHY THE CASKET WAS MADE OUT OF CARDBOARD? 47 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,942 YES, AND ME AND HATTIE HAD TO GET IT 48 00:02:08,942 --> 00:02:11,311 OUT OF A DUMPSTER AT A CONVENIENCE STORE. 49 00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:14,047 OH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU SEE A LADY FROM THE CONVENIENCE STORE 50 00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:15,882 HANGING OUT AROUND Y'ALL'S APARTMENT, 51 00:02:15,882 --> 00:02:17,483 SHE GONNA BE LOOKING FOR THAT BOX. 52 00:02:19,285 --> 00:02:21,688 BUT I TOLD HER SHE COULD SLEEP WITH EITHER ONE OF Y'ALL. 53 00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:25,225 I'M FINE WITH THAT. 54 00:02:26,359 --> 00:02:28,795 SAM, IF YOU DON'T STOP, THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA END UP. 55 00:02:28,795 --> 00:02:31,331 WHAT? NO, IT'S NOT. 56 00:02:31,331 --> 00:02:32,566 YES, IT IS. 57 00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:35,736 HE WAS OLD. 58 00:02:35,736 --> 00:02:38,338 HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS 'CAUSE HE WAS INCONSIDERATE. 59 00:02:38,338 --> 00:02:40,406 HE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT ANYBODY BUT HIMSELF, 60 00:02:40,406 --> 00:02:42,909 AND HE WAS AN EGOTISTICAL WOMANIZER. 61 00:02:42,909 --> 00:02:45,411 YEAH. 62 00:02:45,411 --> 00:02:47,313 WAIT ‐‐ IS THAT WHAT YOU GUYS THINK OF ME? 63 00:02:47,313 --> 00:02:48,782 THAT'S NOT WHAT WE THINK. 64 00:02:48,782 --> 00:02:50,817 THAT'S WHAT WE KNOW. [ CHUCKLES ] 65 00:02:50,817 --> 00:02:53,353 WOW. 66 00:02:53,353 --> 00:02:54,755 I'M HURT! 67 00:02:54,755 --> 00:02:56,790 [ SCOFFS ] WHATEVER. 68 00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:00,867 COME ON. LET'S EAT. 69 00:03:00,867 --> 00:03:03,036 I'M REALLY HURT BY THAT COMMENT. 70 00:03:05,405 --> 00:03:08,408 ‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐ www.vitac.com 71 00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:11,444 CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS 72 00:03:23,123 --> 00:03:25,726 THAT FUNERAL WAS SO SAD. 73 00:03:25,726 --> 00:03:27,393 [ SIGHS ] YEAH. 74 00:03:27,393 --> 00:03:30,931 I MEAN, TO LIVE YOU LIFE WITH NO ONE, 75 00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:33,133 TO ALWAYS THINK ABOUT YOURSELF 76 00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:35,301 AND NEVER BEING CONSIDERATE... 77 00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:38,071 YEAH. I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS THAT BAD. 78 00:03:38,071 --> 00:03:40,373 [ SIGHS ] YEAH. 79 00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,843 AND NOT ONE PERSON TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT HIM 80 00:03:42,843 --> 00:03:45,078 OR SAID SOMETHING NICE AT HIS FUNERAL. 81 00:03:45,078 --> 00:03:47,413 THAT'S REALLY SAD. 82 00:03:47,413 --> 00:03:48,915 I KNOW. 83 00:03:48,915 --> 00:03:51,752 REMINDS ME OF SAM. 84 00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:55,421 SPEAKING OF SAM, WHERE IS HE? 85 00:03:55,421 --> 00:03:56,657 I DON'T KNOW. 86 00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:58,224 HE LEFT OUT OF THE APARTMENT REALLY EARLY THIS MORNING. 87 00:03:58,224 --> 00:04:00,634 AND THIS WEEKEND? 88 00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:02,035 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 89 00:04:02,035 --> 00:04:04,137 WELL, DID HE PARTY? 90 00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:06,039 NO. NO PARTIES. 91 00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:07,373 REALLY? 92 00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,575 YES. 93 00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:11,745 HE EVEN CLEANED THE APARTMENT AND WASHED MY CLOTHES. 94 00:04:13,814 --> 00:04:16,883 THAT'S JUST NASTY. 95 00:04:16,883 --> 00:04:18,985 ♪♪ LA, LA‐LA, LA, LA, LA‐LA ♪♪ 96 00:04:18,985 --> 00:04:21,622 ♪♪ LA, I LOVE SPRING, SUNSHINE, AND CHILDREN ♪♪ 97 00:04:21,622 --> 00:04:24,891 ♪♪ IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME ♪♪ 98 00:04:24,891 --> 00:04:28,294 HEY, UH... [ CHUCKLES ] YOU'RE HERE EARLY. 99 00:04:28,294 --> 00:04:30,163 YEAH. 100 00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:33,133 WHY? 101 00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:34,901 I WANTED TO GET SOME WORK DONE. 102 00:04:34,901 --> 00:04:36,269 [ CHUCKLES ] 103 00:04:36,269 --> 00:04:39,238 NO, REALLY, BUDDY, WHY? 104 00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,608 MARIANNA GAVE US A PROJECT TO DO, 105 00:04:41,608 --> 00:04:43,577 AND I KNOW SHE'S EXPECTING TO GET IT DONE. 106 00:04:43,577 --> 00:04:45,612 [ High‐pitched ] SO I CAME IN EARLY TO GET IT DONE, 107 00:04:45,612 --> 00:04:46,613 AND IT'S DONE. 108 00:04:46,613 --> 00:04:51,451 YOU ARE DEFINITELY UP TO SOMETHING. 109 00:04:51,451 --> 00:04:53,954 [ Normal voice ] NO, I'M NOT. 110 00:04:53,954 --> 00:04:56,757 WAIT. Y‐YOU DID THE PROJECT ALREADY? 111 00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:57,691 YEAH. 112 00:04:57,691 --> 00:04:59,626 OH, THAT WAS A BAD IDEA. 113 00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:01,001 WHY? 114 00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,468 DANNY IS RIGHT. 115 00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:06,039 PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SEND THE WEB DESIGN TO THE CLIENT. 116 00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,308 [ GASPS ] YES, I DID. [ CHUCKLES ] 117 00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,113 OH, NO. NOW ‐‐ NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA GET FIRED. 118 00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,815 WHY? 119 00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,984 YOU REMEMBER THE LAST WEBSITE YOU DESIGNED FOR THE PRESCHOOL? 120 00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,855 THE ONE WITH THE STRIPPER POLE. 121 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,725 YEAH. 122 00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,793 [ SIGHS ] 123 00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,762 WELL, THIS ONE WAS FOR A RETIREMENT HOME. 124 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,831 THAT'S WHY WE ALL SHOULD'VE DID IT TOGETHER. 125 00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,499 SAM, HOW COULD YOU? 126 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,737 LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE NEEDS TO RELAX. 127 00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,038 [ CHUCKLES ] 128 00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,106 YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS. 129 00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,309 IT'S...ALL GOOD. 130 00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,680 FRIENDS? 131 00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,015 DID ‐‐ DID ‐‐ DID HE JUST SAY ‐‐ 132 00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,517 YES. 133 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,854 OH. 134 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,990 HE'S DEFINITELY NOT FEELING WELL. 135 00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,527 SAM, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT? 136 00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,870 YEAH. I'M FINE. 137 00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:06,406 ARE YOU SURE? YEAH. 138 00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:08,742 SAM, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?! 139 00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:12,078 COME BACK, BUDDY! COME BACK! 140 00:06:12,078 --> 00:06:14,114 [ GIGGLES ] WELL, THAT WAS A WEIRD HUG. 141 00:06:17,017 --> 00:06:20,253 AND, DREW, NOT ONLY ARE YOU SUPER‐STRONG, 142 00:06:20,253 --> 00:06:24,224 BUT YOU LOOK SO LOVELY TODAY! 143 00:06:24,224 --> 00:06:27,894 [ CHUCKLES ] THANKS. SAM? 144 00:06:27,894 --> 00:06:30,897 [ Chuckling ] OH. HERE, I GOT YOU A COFFEE. 145 00:06:30,897 --> 00:06:32,799 IS IT SAFE TO DRINK? 146 00:06:32,799 --> 00:06:34,701 [ GIGGLES ] 147 00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:36,803 WOULD YOU STOP IT? 148 00:06:39,205 --> 00:06:41,908 I'M MISSING SOMETHING. 149 00:06:41,908 --> 00:06:43,209 ME, TOO. 150 00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:45,478 WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU? 151 00:06:45,478 --> 00:06:48,214 NOTHING! [ CHUCKLES ] 152 00:06:48,214 --> 00:06:51,384 YOU KNOW, I WATCHED A MOVIE 153 00:06:51,384 --> 00:06:53,554 WHERE THIS KIND OF THING HAPPENED ONCE. 154 00:06:53,554 --> 00:06:56,623 ALL OF THE PEOPLE WERE ASLEEP, AND WHEN THEY WOKE UP, 155 00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:59,926 THEIR BODIES WERE TAKEN OVER BY ALIENS. 156 00:07:03,469 --> 00:07:04,805 THIS IS CRAZY. 157 00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:07,007 YEAH. HE'S CRAZY. 158 00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:09,643 DO YOU HEAR THAT DERANGED LAUGH? 159 00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,144 [ LAUGHS MANICALLY ] 160 00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:13,013 [ SIGHS ] MAN. 161 00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:14,515 AND I'M REALLY AFRAID TO SEE 162 00:07:14,515 --> 00:07:16,249 WHAT HE DID WITH THIS WEB DESIGN. 163 00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:17,250 [ BOTH SIGH ] 164 00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,386 AND HE SENT IT TO THE CLIENT ALREADY. 165 00:07:21,988 --> 00:07:25,959 IS HE STRAIGHTENING UP MY DESK? 166 00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:29,863 JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT SUPER. 167 00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:32,833 WELL, WE HAVE TO LOOK AT IT AT SOME POINT. 168 00:07:36,269 --> 00:07:37,838 SAM? 169 00:07:37,838 --> 00:07:40,173 [ High‐pitched ] YEAH, BUDDY? 170 00:07:40,173 --> 00:07:43,143 BUDDY? 171 00:07:43,143 --> 00:07:46,780 MY BEST FRIEND IN THE WHO‐O‐LE WORLD. 172 00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:48,414 OH. THANKS. 173 00:07:48,414 --> 00:07:51,785 DANNY, DON'T FALL FOR IT ‐‐ HE'S POSSESSED. 174 00:07:51,785 --> 00:07:55,789 POSSESSED BY LOVE. 175 00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:58,992 [ SIGHS ] YOU'RE RIGHT. 176 00:07:58,992 --> 00:08:00,126 SAM. 177 00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:02,803 WE WANT TO SEE THAT WEBPAGE RIGHT DAMN NOW! 178 00:08:02,803 --> 00:08:04,104 [ Normal voice ] OHH. 179 00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:05,238 [ Chuckling ] OOH. 180 00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:06,773 LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S BEEN HANGING OUT 181 00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:11,512 WITH THEIR GRANDMOTHER WAY TOO MUCH! 182 00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:13,179 LET ME SEE IT. 183 00:08:13,179 --> 00:08:15,916 WELL, HERE IT...DARN IS. 184 00:08:17,884 --> 00:08:19,385 MOVE IT. 185 00:08:19,385 --> 00:08:22,122 [ SOOTHING, ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS ] 186 00:08:22,122 --> 00:08:23,223 OH. 187 00:08:23,223 --> 00:08:25,826 O‐OH. [ CHUCKLES ] 188 00:08:25,826 --> 00:08:27,060 WOW. 189 00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,530 OH, MY. 190 00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:32,265 SAM, T‐THIS IS PERFECT. 191 00:08:32,265 --> 00:08:35,168 AND NOBODY'S TOPLESS. 192 00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:38,171 AND THERE ARE NO STRIPPER POLES. 193 00:08:38,171 --> 00:08:39,272 [ MUSIC CONTINUES ] 194 00:08:39,272 --> 00:08:42,108 IS THAT A NUN? 195 00:08:42,108 --> 00:08:44,444 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 196 00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:48,381 FLOWERS, RAINBOWS, AND BIRDS! OH, MY! 197 00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:50,250 DON'T FORGET THE UNICORN. 198 00:08:51,785 --> 00:08:54,154 HIS NAME IS SMILES. 199 00:08:56,256 --> 00:08:57,724 IT LOOKS... 200 00:08:57,724 --> 00:09:00,060 IT'S BEAUTIFUL. 201 00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,402 YEAH, SAM, IT'S...WOW. 202 00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,870 [ CHUCKLES ] 203 00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,105 WELL... 204 00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:07,273 CLICK HERE. [ CLICKS MOUSE ] 205 00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,342 [ ANGELIC CHOIR HUMMING ] 206 00:09:09,342 --> 00:09:12,145 [ Chuckling ] OH, MY. T‐THIS IS REALLY GREAT. 207 00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:13,947 [ GIGGLES ] 208 00:09:13,947 --> 00:09:15,448 YEAH, I KNOW. 209 00:09:15,448 --> 00:09:17,217 WOW. 210 00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:20,821 IT'S SO GREAT I'M EVEN TAKING MY GRANDMOTHER THERE. 211 00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,422 IS THIS THE SAME GRANDMOTHER 212 00:09:22,422 --> 00:09:24,625 THAT YOU THREW IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN? 213 00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:27,528 [ CHUCKLES ] 214 00:09:27,528 --> 00:09:29,362 YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ] 215 00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:32,666 I CALLED HER THIS MORNING TO APOLOGIZE. 216 00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:34,434 SHE UNDERSTOOD. 217 00:09:38,071 --> 00:09:40,707 I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND ALL WEEKEND WITH HER. 218 00:09:40,707 --> 00:09:42,743 OH. [ GIGGLES ] 219 00:09:42,743 --> 00:09:45,512 NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, 220 00:09:45,512 --> 00:09:48,582 I'M BAKING COOKIES IN THE BREAK ROOM. 221 00:09:48,582 --> 00:09:50,617 [ GIGGLES ] 222 00:09:50,617 --> 00:09:52,352 OH. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 223 00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:56,857 OH, THEY'RE, UH, WHITE‐CHOCOLATE‐CHIP. 224 00:09:58,659 --> 00:10:01,167 I see strange people. 225 00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,806 DANNY, I'M SCARED. 226 00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,642 ME, TOO. 227 00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:11,111 WHAT IS UP WITH HIM? 228 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,780 I DON'T KNOW BUT I'M GONNA FIND OUT. 229 00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,281 Let's go. 230 00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,783 NOT NOW. I‐I DON'T WANT NO COOKIES. 231 00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,920 CHOCOLATE WITH A WHITE CHIP. 232 00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,299 FLOYD. SATAN. 233 00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,636 WHY YOU AIN'T NOT CLEANED THAT GRILL? 234 00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,404 BECAUSE IT'S HOT! 235 00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,607 I KNOW THAT. 236 00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:43,209 WELL, DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET THIRD‐DEGREE BURNS? 237 00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,613 YOU GONNA GET A THIRD‐DEGREE ASS WHOOPING 238 00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,114 IF THAT HEALTH INSPECTOR COME IN HERE 239 00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,415 AND THAT GRILL AIN'T CLEAN. 240 00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:53,787 I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY THAT WITH THAT OLD CRUSTY FOOT. 241 00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,389 I HATE YOU. 242 00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,059 I HATE YOU, TOO. 243 00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,067 YOU WANT SOME COFFEE? 244 00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:02,536 YEAH, I'LL GET IT FOR YOU, BABY. 245 00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:03,637 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. 246 00:11:03,637 --> 00:11:05,238 YOU GO AHEAD AND TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS. 247 00:11:05,238 --> 00:11:06,940 OH. [ CHUCKLES ] THANK YOU, BOO. 248 00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:09,643 WHEN WILL THOSE TWO EVER STOP EVER STOP GOING AT EACH OTHER? 249 00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,545 WILL WATER EVER STOP BEING WET? 250 00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:15,081 THEY HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT. 251 00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:16,617 HERE, BABY. HERE'S YOUR CHECK. 252 00:11:16,617 --> 00:11:17,618 THANKS. 253 00:11:17,618 --> 00:11:19,786 NO. I'LL PAY IT THIS TIME. 254 00:11:19,786 --> 00:11:22,488 WHAT?! WHY? 255 00:11:22,488 --> 00:11:23,624 RIGHT? 256 00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:25,759 YEAH, WELL, YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS COVERING ME, 257 00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,994 SO I'LL PAY IT. 258 00:11:27,994 --> 00:11:30,597 AND HERE IS A LITTLE TIP FOR MISS LINDA. 259 00:11:32,432 --> 00:11:34,200 WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU? 260 00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,436 NOTHING. I'M FINE. 261 00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:37,804 DON'T TRUST THAT. 262 00:11:37,804 --> 00:11:39,573 I DON'T. 263 00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,075 HE'S ACTING WEIRD FOR SOME REASON. 264 00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:44,177 Aliens! 265 00:11:45,345 --> 00:11:47,881 BUT WE JUST CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT. 266 00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:52,185 SAM, YOU LOOK NICE! 267 00:11:52,185 --> 00:11:53,754 LOOK AT THAT. THAT'S SO NICE RIGHT THERE. 268 00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,255 [ GIGGLES ] THANK YOU, MISS HATTIE. 269 00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:56,256 YOU LOOK LOVELY. 270 00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:58,124 [ BOTH CHUCKLE ] 271 00:11:58,124 --> 00:11:59,826 DID YOU DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH YOUR HAIR? 272 00:11:59,826 --> 00:12:02,202 YEAH, MISS PEARL GIVE ME PRESS CURL EVERY TWO WEEK. 273 00:12:02,202 --> 00:12:05,606 [ LAUGHS ] WHAT? 274 00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:08,308 MISS PEARL GIVES ME PRESS CURL EVERY TWO WEEK. 275 00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:12,746 [ LAUGHS ] SHE IS CUTE AS A BUTTON! 276 00:12:12,746 --> 00:12:14,047 WHAT SHE SAID IS THAT 277 00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:17,283 MISS PEARL GIVES HER A PRESS AND CURL EVERY TWO WEEKS. 278 00:12:17,283 --> 00:12:19,219 [ CHUCKLES ] 279 00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:22,723 THAT'S WHAT I SAID. 280 00:12:22,723 --> 00:12:24,725 MISS PEARL MISSED THE MARK THIS WEEK. 281 00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:28,562 YOUR PRESS AND CURL LOOK MORE LIKE A PUSH AND PULL. 282 00:12:28,562 --> 00:12:32,666 BUT I CAN TELL FROM LOOKING AT THE WAY YOUR UNIFORM LAYING 283 00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:35,468 YOU MUST HAVE SHAVED YOUR BACK THIS WEEK. 284 00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:37,303 BE CAREFUL, FLOYD. 285 00:12:37,303 --> 00:12:40,741 I STILL GOT MY RAZOR. 286 00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:42,809 AND, UH, FLOYD. 287 00:12:42,809 --> 00:12:44,410 HERE IS THE RENT CHECK. 288 00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:46,680 WHAT? 289 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,482 I MEAN, IT'S NOT DUE TILL NEXT THURSDAY. 290 00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:53,520 HA. YEAH. I KNOW. 291 00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,589 WAIT ‐‐ I DIDN'T EVEN GET YOU MY HALF. 292 00:12:55,589 --> 00:12:57,924 OH, JUST GET IT BACK TO ME WHENEVER YOU CAN. 293 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,403 WOW! 294 00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:04,838 HEAVEN HAS LANDED. 295 00:13:04,838 --> 00:13:06,907 [ SIGHS ] 296 00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:08,909 HMM? I'M SORRY. 297 00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:10,443 YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT? 298 00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,345 I WASN'T PAYING [Chuckling] ATTENTION. 299 00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:13,446 WHAT THE WHAT? 300 00:13:15,415 --> 00:13:17,183 IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I HAVE TO, UH ‐‐ 301 00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:18,585 BE RIGHT BACK. [ CHUCKLES ] 302 00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:20,854 I'VE GOT TO, UH, TINKLE. 303 00:13:20,854 --> 00:13:22,989 TINKLE WINKLE. 304 00:13:26,627 --> 00:13:28,461 WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM? 305 00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:31,632 I DON'T KNOW. HE'S...NICE. 306 00:13:31,632 --> 00:13:33,967 WELL, HOW LONG THIS BEEN GOING ON? 307 00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:35,468 ALL WEEK. 308 00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:37,604 OH, HE ON THAT STUFF. 309 00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:40,807 NO, HE'S NOT. IS HE? 310 00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:44,645 HE GAVE ME A FLOWER. 311 00:13:44,645 --> 00:13:46,780 IT WAS SO SWEET. 312 00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:52,953 HE GAVE ME ONE, TOO! 313 00:13:52,953 --> 00:13:55,989 AND IT WASN'T POISON IVY. 314 00:13:55,989 --> 00:13:59,560 AND YOU SAY THIS HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR A WHILE? 315 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,902 YES. 316 00:14:01,902 --> 00:14:03,870 OH, HE DYING. 317 00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:05,972 HEY. DON'T SAY THAT! 318 00:14:05,972 --> 00:14:09,309 [ Mockingly ] WELL, DON'T GET SO UPSET, NEPHEW. 319 00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:12,078 I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM. 320 00:14:12,078 --> 00:14:13,614 FLOYD'S RIGHT. 321 00:14:13,614 --> 00:14:15,616 GRANDMA, THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND. 322 00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:16,750 THEY DIDN'T MEAN IT, BABY. 323 00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:18,519 THEN WHY DID THEY SAY THAT? 324 00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:20,854 DEATH SCARES PEOPLE. 325 00:14:20,854 --> 00:14:23,223 DO YOU GUYS REALLY THINK HE'S DYING? 326 00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:26,259 NO. 327 00:14:26,259 --> 00:14:28,662 IT'S THAT "FUNE." 328 00:14:28,662 --> 00:14:30,130 IT'S THAT WHAT? 329 00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,533 IT'S THAT "FUNE." 330 00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:36,102 FUNERAL. 331 00:14:36,102 --> 00:14:38,138 OH. 332 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,273 THAT WHAT I SAID. 333 00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:45,612 YOU SEE, THIS HERE HAPPENED TO ONE OF MY HUSBANDS. 334 00:14:45,612 --> 00:14:47,047 W‐W‐WHEN SOMEBODY DIE, 335 00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:49,616 AND THEY REMIND YOU OF YOURSELF, 336 00:14:49,616 --> 00:14:51,652 IT MAKES YOU LOOK AT LIFE DIFFERENTLY. 337 00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:57,624 COUSIN BERON WASN'T NOTHING LIKE THAT. 338 00:14:57,624 --> 00:15:00,226 THE HELL YOU PREACH. 339 00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:02,202 WELL, HOW? 340 00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,037 THEY DRANK EVERY NIGHT. 341 00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,205 THAT'S RIGHT. 342 00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,373 THEY DRANK THEMSELVES NOW ABOUT TO DEATH. 343 00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:08,609 MM. YEP. 344 00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:10,677 HAD SEX... 345 00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,814 HAD A WHOLE LOT OF HOT BUTT‐NAKED SEX. 346 00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:15,982 MM. [ Chuckling ] YEAH. 347 00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,518 OH, GOD DAMN. WHOLE LOT OF... 348 00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:20,921 MAMA! UNCLE FLOYD! WHOO! HMM? 349 00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,557 DREW? 350 00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,859 I'M SORRY. 351 00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,661 AND THEY ‐‐ AND THEY WANT TO HAVE CHILDREN ‐‐ 352 00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,295 ON, ON, ON, BACK‐TO‐BACK‐TO‐BACK CHILDREN ON TOP OF CHILDREN, 353 00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,564 AND ‐‐ AND... 354 00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:35,001 AND THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT NOBODY BUT THEIR OWN SELF. 355 00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:40,273 THEN YOU WANT TO MARRY THE FIRST THING THAT SAY, "I LOVE YOU." 356 00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,742 MAMA. 357 00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,678 THEY DON'T WORRY ABOUT SAYING NOTHING ABOUT 358 00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,280 YOU GOT ANOTHER WIFE IN BACK OF TOWN. 359 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,615 MAMA. C‐C‐COME. MAMA! 360 00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,084 AND THEN I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT THAT TIME WHEN ‐‐ 361 00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,919 COME BACK! COME BACK! COME BACK! 362 00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,955 [ SNAPS FINGERS ] 363 00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:01,702 I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY OWN SELF, ANYWAY. 364 00:16:01,702 --> 00:16:05,038 DANG, MISS HATTIE. YOU'RE A LITTLE FREAK. 365 00:16:07,808 --> 00:16:12,078 DID YOU REALLY DO ALL OF THOSE NASTY THINGS? 366 00:16:12,078 --> 00:16:15,549 DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! 367 00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:18,118 MAYBE GRANDMA HAS GOT A POINT. 368 00:16:18,118 --> 00:16:19,953 I DO HAVE A POINT! 369 00:16:19,953 --> 00:16:23,089 IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT HE THINKING ABOUT HIS MORTALITY. 370 00:16:24,925 --> 00:16:28,161 YOU KNOW, IT DON'T HAPPEN THAT OFTEN. 371 00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:29,896 BUT IT DID HIM. 372 00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:34,935 MAYBE I SHOULD ENJOY THIS. 373 00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:39,906 YEAH, YOU NEED TO, 'CAUSE IT WON'T LAST LONG. 374 00:16:48,649 --> 00:16:51,251 [ VOCALIZING ] 375 00:16:51,251 --> 00:16:53,086 WHO DUSTS LEATHER? 376 00:16:53,086 --> 00:16:55,522 HA‐HA. I DO. [ SIGHS ] 377 00:16:58,024 --> 00:17:00,360 WOW. 378 00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,103 THIS PLACE LOOKS GREAT. 379 00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:06,907 DANNY! 380 00:17:09,075 --> 00:17:10,611 YEAH, SAM? 381 00:17:10,611 --> 00:17:12,646 [ CHUCKLES ] OH, HEY, MAN! 382 00:17:12,646 --> 00:17:14,147 I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! 383 00:17:14,147 --> 00:17:15,682 WHOA. [ GIGGLES ] 384 00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:17,450 YOU JUST SAW ME AT WORK! 385 00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,686 OH! I KNOW! [ CHUCKLES ] 386 00:17:19,686 --> 00:17:22,789 BUT I MISSED YOU! [ CHUCKLES ] 387 00:17:22,789 --> 00:17:24,090 [ SIGHS ] OH. 388 00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:29,229 HEY, MAN, BEFORE I FORGET, CAN WE CARPOOL TOMORROW? 389 00:17:29,229 --> 00:17:30,731 CARPOOL? 390 00:17:30,731 --> 00:17:32,032 YEAH! 391 00:17:32,032 --> 00:17:33,499 REALLY? 392 00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:36,803 YEAH. WHY DO YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED? 393 00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:39,105 WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT IT BEFORE, YOU SAID, 394 00:17:39,105 --> 00:17:41,207 "TO HELL WITH THE OZONE LAYER! 395 00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:43,176 "LET'S ALLOW THOSE TREE HUGGERS 396 00:17:43,176 --> 00:17:45,546 TO FILL UP THAT HOLE ON THEIR OWN!" 397 00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:48,348 BUT I LEARNED MY LESSON! 398 00:17:48,348 --> 00:17:50,283 OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ] 399 00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:52,485 THE APARTMENT LOOKS GREAT. 400 00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:54,187 [ CHUCKLES ] BLESS YOUR FACE. 401 00:17:55,922 --> 00:17:57,724 AND I BAKED COOKIES! 402 00:17:57,724 --> 00:17:59,192 WHOO! 403 00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,503 [ SIGHS ] 404 00:18:02,503 --> 00:18:06,072 OKAY. 405 00:18:06,072 --> 00:18:08,842 YEAH. UH, UH, YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE? 406 00:18:12,378 --> 00:18:14,615 OKAY, SAM. W‐WE NEED TO TALK. 407 00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,382 [ PATS CUSHION ] I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, BUDDY. 408 00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:19,920 YOU ARE JUST KILLING ME. 409 00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,523 WELL, WHAT IS IT? WHAT ‐‐ WHAT'S KILLING YOU? 410 00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:25,559 WHY ARE YOU BEING SO NICE?! 411 00:18:25,559 --> 00:18:30,430 [ High‐pitched ] WHAT ON EARTH ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 412 00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:35,435 STOP IT! THAT'S ANNOYING! 413 00:18:35,435 --> 00:18:37,604 OH. 414 00:18:37,604 --> 00:18:40,507 [ Singsong voice ] I'M SENSING AN EMOTIONAL CENTER. 415 00:18:42,743 --> 00:18:45,979 IF WE DON'T ADDRESS THE ISSUE, IT COULD KABOOM. 416 00:18:45,979 --> 00:18:47,581 [ Normal voice ] SO WHAT IS IT 417 00:18:47,581 --> 00:18:49,249 THAT YOU THINK IS ANNOYING YOU? 418 00:18:49,249 --> 00:18:53,754 SAM, WHEN WE WERE AT MY UNCLE'S FUNERAL, DID IT AFFECT YOU? 419 00:18:53,754 --> 00:18:56,222 YES. 420 00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,059 AT THE FUNERAL, I REALIZED THAT... 421 00:18:59,059 --> 00:19:01,027 WHEN I DIE, 422 00:19:01,027 --> 00:19:04,505 I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO HAVE TO MAKE STUFF UP ABOUT ME. 423 00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:08,008 I WANT THEM TO TELL THE TRUTH. 424 00:19:08,008 --> 00:19:10,677 SAM, THAT'S GREAT. 425 00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:12,579 YEAH. 426 00:19:12,579 --> 00:19:15,882 I'M TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF! HA‐HA! COOKIE? 427 00:19:18,351 --> 00:19:20,854 NO, IT WAS MORE LIKE A FEATHERED BOA. 428 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,764 NOW, SAM, I THINK WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE FEELING. 429 00:19:30,764 --> 00:19:32,165 [ LAUGHS ] 430 00:19:32,165 --> 00:19:35,068 I LOVE TALKING ABOUT MY FEELINGS! 431 00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:38,404 I WANT THE OLD SAM BACK! 432 00:19:38,404 --> 00:19:40,774 DANNY. COME ON. 433 00:19:40,774 --> 00:19:42,375 Danny: NO! 434 00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:45,078 THIS IS TOO... 435 00:19:45,078 --> 00:19:46,947 TOO... 436 00:19:46,947 --> 00:19:50,116 TOO PRECIOUS AND SWEET AND ADORABLE? 437 00:19:50,116 --> 00:19:53,520 YES, BUT I WANT THE WILD MAN! 438 00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,322 I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT SAM? 439 00:19:56,322 --> 00:19:58,291 NO. I‐I DO! 440 00:19:58,291 --> 00:19:59,425 YOU DO? 441 00:19:59,425 --> 00:20:00,561 YES! 442 00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:04,137 I JUST ‐‐ [SIGHS] I WANT YOU TO BE YOU. 443 00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,207 I KNOW YOU LIKE TO PARTY AND HANG OUT. 444 00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,710 BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO BE A LITTLE MORE CONSIDERATE 445 00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:10,711 AND NOT SO SELFISH. 446 00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:12,779 I JUST WANT YOU TO BE AWARE OF 447 00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,415 WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND SAYING. 448 00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,818 WELL, I GET THAT. 449 00:20:17,818 --> 00:20:21,755 SO...CAN THE OLD SAM COME BACK? 450 00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,023 YEAH. 451 00:20:23,023 --> 00:20:26,627 TO HELL WITH THIS CRAP! 452 00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:28,128 WAIT? 453 00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:30,797 SO THAT... [ GRUNTS ] 454 00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,232 SO ALL THIS WAS JUST AN ACT? 455 00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:35,636 ACADEMY AWARD, BABY! 456 00:20:35,636 --> 00:20:39,005 SAM IS BACK. 457 00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,907 AAH! 458 00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:44,410 COME ON IN, TISHA AND MISHA. 459 00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,981 IN A FEW SECONDS... 460 00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,083 I'M GONNA KISS YA. 461 00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:53,153 LADIES. 462 00:20:53,153 --> 00:20:57,123 ACT LIKE BAIT AND FOLLOW THE ROD. 463 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,992 [ LAUGHS ] 464 00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:01,467 GUESS I GOT THE OLD SAM BACK. 30889

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