Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:08,709
HEY!
I WAS WAITING FOR YOU GUYS.
2
00:00:08,709 --> 00:00:10,544
HEY, DREW.
[ SIGHS ]
3
00:00:10,544 --> 00:00:13,146
THAT THING WAS SO SAD.
4
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,648
WELL, WHAT WAS SAD?
5
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:17,250
WE JUST CAME FROM
MY UNCLE'S FUNERAL.
6
00:00:17,250 --> 00:00:19,185
I'M SCARED.
7
00:00:19,185 --> 00:00:20,420
IT WAS BAD?
8
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,823
YEAH.
9
00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,626
I THOUGHT
IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
10
00:00:25,626 --> 00:00:27,628
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!
11
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:32,265
THERE WAS PEOPLE RUNNING UP
AND DOWN THE AISLES SCREAMING!
12
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:34,935
THEY WERE TRYING TO GRAB
THE CORPSE OUT OF THE CASKET!
13
00:00:34,935 --> 00:00:38,038
THEY DO THAT
AT ALL BLACK "FUNES"!
14
00:00:38,038 --> 00:00:39,172
WHAT?
15
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:42,509
THEY DO THAT
AT ALL BLACK "FUNES"!
16
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:44,444
FUNERALS.
17
00:00:44,444 --> 00:00:46,613
OHHHH.
18
00:00:46,613 --> 00:00:49,616
THAT'S WHAT I SAID ‐‐
"FUNES."
19
00:00:49,616 --> 00:00:51,017
WELL, WHO WAS THAT WOMAN?
20
00:00:51,017 --> 00:00:53,086
HIS WIFE.
21
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,055
WELL, WHO WERE ALL THE OTHER
WOMEN THAT WERE FIGHTING?
22
00:00:55,055 --> 00:00:57,023
HIS OTHER WIVES.
23
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,835
YEAH, HE WAS A MAN...
WITH A LOT OF WIVES.
24
00:01:02,903 --> 00:01:06,206
AND A WHOLE LOT OF WOMEN.
25
00:01:06,206 --> 00:01:07,440
WELL, GRANDMA,
26
00:01:07,440 --> 00:01:09,576
I THOUGHT THE SPEECH YOU GAVE
ABOUT HIM WAS GOOD.
27
00:01:09,576 --> 00:01:12,546
YEAH, MISS HATTIE,
IT WAS REAL HEARTFELT.
28
00:01:12,546 --> 00:01:15,048
I WAS LYING
THROUGH MY DAMN TEETH.
29
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,084
MAMA, IN CHURCH?
30
00:01:18,084 --> 00:01:20,987
YEAH! THE BIBLE SAID,
"IF YOU CAN'T SAY NOTHING GOOD,
31
00:01:20,987 --> 00:01:22,455
DON'T SAY NOTHING AT ALL."
32
00:01:22,455 --> 00:01:24,658
MAMA, THE BIBLE DOESN'T SAY
ANYTHING LIKE THAT.
33
00:01:24,658 --> 00:01:27,260
WAIT ‐‐ SO ALL OF THOSE THINGS
YOU WERE SAYING WEREN'T TRUE?
34
00:01:27,260 --> 00:01:29,563
NOPE.
35
00:01:29,563 --> 00:01:31,297
WELL,
WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THOSE THINGS
36
00:01:31,297 --> 00:01:32,833
ABOUT HIM BEING
A GREAT FRIEND?
37
00:01:32,833 --> 00:01:35,135
HE WAS A BASTARD!
38
00:01:35,135 --> 00:01:39,005
WHAT ABOUT ALL THE THINGS
ABOUT HIM BEING A GREAT FATHER?
39
00:01:39,005 --> 00:01:41,241
HE DIDN'T KNOW
OVER HALF OF HIS KIDS.
40
00:01:42,676 --> 00:01:44,144
AND BEING A GREAT PROVIDER?
41
00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:46,046
NOT IN LIFE OR DEATH.
42
00:01:47,814 --> 00:01:50,050
HE DIDN'T LEAVE THEM
A DIME.
43
00:01:52,418 --> 00:01:55,288
HE DIDN'T DO NOTHING BUT PARTY
AND DRINK HIS MONEY AWAY.
44
00:01:55,288 --> 00:01:59,726
HE DIDN'T HAVE NO FRIEND
TO PAY FOR THE "FUNE."
45
00:02:01,467 --> 00:02:03,604
FUNERAL!
46
00:02:03,604 --> 00:02:06,840
IS THAT WHY THE CASKET
WAS MADE OUT OF CARDBOARD?
47
00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:08,942
YES, AND ME AND HATTIE
HAD TO GET IT
48
00:02:08,942 --> 00:02:11,311
OUT OF A DUMPSTER
AT A CONVENIENCE STORE.
49
00:02:11,311 --> 00:02:14,047
OH, BY THE WAY, IF YOU SEE A
LADY FROM THE CONVENIENCE STORE
50
00:02:14,047 --> 00:02:15,882
HANGING OUT AROUND
Y'ALL'S APARTMENT,
51
00:02:15,882 --> 00:02:17,483
SHE GONNA BE LOOKING
FOR THAT BOX.
52
00:02:19,285 --> 00:02:21,688
BUT I TOLD HER SHE COULD SLEEP
WITH EITHER ONE OF Y'ALL.
53
00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:25,225
I'M FINE WITH THAT.
54
00:02:26,359 --> 00:02:28,795
SAM, IF YOU DON'T STOP,
THAT'S HOW YOU'RE GONNA END UP.
55
00:02:28,795 --> 00:02:31,331
WHAT?
NO, IT'S NOT.
56
00:02:31,331 --> 00:02:32,566
YES, IT IS.
57
00:02:32,566 --> 00:02:35,736
HE WAS OLD.
58
00:02:35,736 --> 00:02:38,338
HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY FRIENDS
'CAUSE HE WAS INCONSIDERATE.
59
00:02:38,338 --> 00:02:40,406
HE DIDN'T THINK ABOUT ANYBODY
BUT HIMSELF,
60
00:02:40,406 --> 00:02:42,909
AND HE WAS
AN EGOTISTICAL WOMANIZER.
61
00:02:42,909 --> 00:02:45,411
YEAH.
62
00:02:45,411 --> 00:02:47,313
WAIT ‐‐ IS THAT WHAT YOU GUYS
THINK OF ME?
63
00:02:47,313 --> 00:02:48,782
THAT'S NOT WHAT WE THINK.
64
00:02:48,782 --> 00:02:50,817
THAT'S WHAT WE KNOW.
[ CHUCKLES ]
65
00:02:50,817 --> 00:02:53,353
WOW.
66
00:02:53,353 --> 00:02:54,755
I'M HURT!
67
00:02:54,755 --> 00:02:56,790
[ SCOFFS ] WHATEVER.
68
00:02:59,025 --> 00:03:00,867
COME ON. LET'S EAT.
69
00:03:00,867 --> 00:03:03,036
I'M REALLY HURT
BY THAT COMMENT.
70
00:03:05,405 --> 00:03:08,408
‐‐Captions by VITAC‐‐
www.vitac.com
71
00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:11,444
CAPTIONS PAID FOR BY
DISCOVERY COMMUNICATIONS
72
00:03:23,123 --> 00:03:25,726
THAT FUNERAL WAS SO SAD.
73
00:03:25,726 --> 00:03:27,393
[ SIGHS ] YEAH.
74
00:03:27,393 --> 00:03:30,931
I MEAN,
TO LIVE YOU LIFE WITH NO ONE,
75
00:03:30,931 --> 00:03:33,133
TO ALWAYS THINK ABOUT
YOURSELF
76
00:03:33,133 --> 00:03:35,301
AND NEVER BEING
CONSIDERATE...
77
00:03:35,301 --> 00:03:38,071
YEAH.
I DIDN'T KNOW HE WAS THAT BAD.
78
00:03:38,071 --> 00:03:40,373
[ SIGHS ] YEAH.
79
00:03:40,373 --> 00:03:42,843
AND NOT ONE PERSON
TOLD THE TRUTH ABOUT HIM
80
00:03:42,843 --> 00:03:45,078
OR SAID SOMETHING NICE
AT HIS FUNERAL.
81
00:03:45,078 --> 00:03:47,413
THAT'S REALLY SAD.
82
00:03:47,413 --> 00:03:48,915
I KNOW.
83
00:03:48,915 --> 00:03:51,752
REMINDS ME OF SAM.
84
00:03:51,752 --> 00:03:55,421
SPEAKING OF SAM,
WHERE IS HE?
85
00:03:55,421 --> 00:03:56,657
I DON'T KNOW.
86
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:58,224
HE LEFT OUT OF THE APARTMENT
REALLY EARLY THIS MORNING.
87
00:03:58,224 --> 00:04:00,634
AND THIS WEEKEND?
88
00:04:00,634 --> 00:04:02,035
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
89
00:04:02,035 --> 00:04:04,137
WELL, DID HE PARTY?
90
00:04:04,137 --> 00:04:06,039
NO. NO PARTIES.
91
00:04:06,039 --> 00:04:07,373
REALLY?
92
00:04:07,373 --> 00:04:08,575
YES.
93
00:04:08,575 --> 00:04:11,745
HE EVEN CLEANED THE APARTMENT
AND WASHED MY CLOTHES.
94
00:04:13,814 --> 00:04:16,883
THAT'S JUST NASTY.
95
00:04:16,883 --> 00:04:18,985
♪♪ LA, LA‐LA,
LA, LA, LA‐LA ♪♪
96
00:04:18,985 --> 00:04:21,622
♪♪ LA, I LOVE SPRING, SUNSHINE,
AND CHILDREN ♪♪
97
00:04:21,622 --> 00:04:24,891
♪♪ IT'S ALL THE SAME TO ME ♪♪
98
00:04:24,891 --> 00:04:28,294
HEY, UH...
[ CHUCKLES ] YOU'RE HERE EARLY.
99
00:04:28,294 --> 00:04:30,163
YEAH.
100
00:04:30,163 --> 00:04:33,133
WHY?
101
00:04:33,133 --> 00:04:34,901
I WANTED TO GET
SOME WORK DONE.
102
00:04:34,901 --> 00:04:36,269
[ CHUCKLES ]
103
00:04:36,269 --> 00:04:39,238
NO, REALLY, BUDDY, WHY?
104
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:41,608
MARIANNA GAVE US
A PROJECT TO DO,
105
00:04:41,608 --> 00:04:43,577
AND I KNOW SHE'S EXPECTING
TO GET IT DONE.
106
00:04:43,577 --> 00:04:45,612
[ High‐pitched ] SO I CAME IN
EARLY TO GET IT DONE,
107
00:04:45,612 --> 00:04:46,613
AND IT'S DONE.
108
00:04:46,613 --> 00:04:51,451
YOU ARE DEFINITELY
UP TO SOMETHING.
109
00:04:51,451 --> 00:04:53,954
[ Normal voice ]
NO, I'M NOT.
110
00:04:53,954 --> 00:04:56,757
WAIT.
Y‐YOU DID THE PROJECT ALREADY?
111
00:04:56,757 --> 00:04:57,691
YEAH.
112
00:04:57,691 --> 00:04:59,626
OH, THAT WAS A BAD IDEA.
113
00:04:59,626 --> 00:05:01,001
WHY?
114
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,468
DANNY IS RIGHT.
115
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:06,039
PLEASE TELL ME YOU DIDN'T SEND
THE WEB DESIGN TO THE CLIENT.
116
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,308
[ GASPS ] YES, I DID.
[ CHUCKLES ]
117
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:13,113
OH, NO. NOW ‐‐
NOW WE'RE ALL GONNA GET FIRED.
118
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:14,815
WHY?
119
00:05:14,815 --> 00:05:17,984
YOU REMEMBER THE LAST WEBSITE
YOU DESIGNED FOR THE PRESCHOOL?
120
00:05:17,984 --> 00:05:21,855
THE ONE
WITH THE STRIPPER POLE.
121
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,725
YEAH.
122
00:05:24,725 --> 00:05:26,793
[ SIGHS ]
123
00:05:26,793 --> 00:05:28,762
WELL, THIS ONE WAS FOR
A RETIREMENT HOME.
124
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,831
THAT'S WHY WE ALL SHOULD'VE
DID IT TOGETHER.
125
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,499
SAM, HOW COULD YOU?
126
00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,737
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE
NEEDS TO RELAX.
127
00:05:36,737 --> 00:05:38,038
[ CHUCKLES ]
128
00:05:38,038 --> 00:05:40,106
YOU GUYS ARE MY FRIENDS.
129
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:43,309
IT'S...ALL GOOD.
130
00:05:45,612 --> 00:05:46,680
FRIENDS?
131
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,015
DID ‐‐ DID ‐‐
DID HE JUST SAY ‐‐
132
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,517
YES.
133
00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:53,854
OH.
134
00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:56,990
HE'S DEFINITELY
NOT FEELING WELL.
135
00:05:56,990 --> 00:06:00,527
SAM, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
136
00:06:00,527 --> 00:06:03,870
YEAH. I'M FINE.
137
00:06:03,870 --> 00:06:06,406
ARE YOU SURE?
YEAH.
138
00:06:06,406 --> 00:06:08,742
SAM, WHAT'S WRONG
WITH YOU?!
139
00:06:08,742 --> 00:06:12,078
COME BACK, BUDDY!
COME BACK!
140
00:06:12,078 --> 00:06:14,114
[ GIGGLES ]
WELL, THAT WAS A WEIRD HUG.
141
00:06:17,017 --> 00:06:20,253
AND, DREW,
NOT ONLY ARE YOU SUPER‐STRONG,
142
00:06:20,253 --> 00:06:24,224
BUT YOU LOOK
SO LOVELY TODAY!
143
00:06:24,224 --> 00:06:27,894
[ CHUCKLES ]
THANKS. SAM?
144
00:06:27,894 --> 00:06:30,897
[ Chuckling ] OH.
HERE, I GOT YOU A COFFEE.
145
00:06:30,897 --> 00:06:32,799
IS IT SAFE TO DRINK?
146
00:06:32,799 --> 00:06:34,701
[ GIGGLES ]
147
00:06:34,701 --> 00:06:36,803
WOULD YOU STOP IT?
148
00:06:39,205 --> 00:06:41,908
I'M MISSING SOMETHING.
149
00:06:41,908 --> 00:06:43,209
ME, TOO.
150
00:06:43,209 --> 00:06:45,478
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?
151
00:06:45,478 --> 00:06:48,214
NOTHING!
[ CHUCKLES ]
152
00:06:48,214 --> 00:06:51,384
YOU KNOW,
I WATCHED A MOVIE
153
00:06:51,384 --> 00:06:53,554
WHERE THIS KIND OF THING
HAPPENED ONCE.
154
00:06:53,554 --> 00:06:56,623
ALL OF THE PEOPLE WERE ASLEEP,
AND WHEN THEY WOKE UP,
155
00:06:56,623 --> 00:06:59,926
THEIR BODIES WERE TAKEN OVER
BY ALIENS.
156
00:07:03,469 --> 00:07:04,805
THIS IS CRAZY.
157
00:07:04,805 --> 00:07:07,007
YEAH. HE'S CRAZY.
158
00:07:07,007 --> 00:07:09,643
DO YOU HEAR
THAT DERANGED LAUGH?
159
00:07:09,643 --> 00:07:11,144
[ LAUGHS MANICALLY ]
160
00:07:11,144 --> 00:07:13,013
[ SIGHS ] MAN.
161
00:07:13,013 --> 00:07:14,515
AND I'M REALLY AFRAID TO SEE
162
00:07:14,515 --> 00:07:16,249
WHAT HE DID
WITH THIS WEB DESIGN.
163
00:07:16,249 --> 00:07:17,250
[ BOTH SIGH ]
164
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:20,386
AND HE SENT IT TO THE CLIENT
ALREADY.
165
00:07:21,988 --> 00:07:25,959
IS HE STRAIGHTENING UP
MY DESK?
166
00:07:25,959 --> 00:07:29,863
JUST TRYING TO MAKE IT SUPER.
167
00:07:29,863 --> 00:07:32,833
WELL, WE HAVE TO LOOK AT IT
AT SOME POINT.
168
00:07:36,269 --> 00:07:37,838
SAM?
169
00:07:37,838 --> 00:07:40,173
[ High‐pitched ]
YEAH, BUDDY?
170
00:07:40,173 --> 00:07:43,143
BUDDY?
171
00:07:43,143 --> 00:07:46,780
MY BEST FRIEND
IN THE WHO‐O‐LE WORLD.
172
00:07:46,780 --> 00:07:48,414
OH. THANKS.
173
00:07:48,414 --> 00:07:51,785
DANNY, DON'T FALL FOR IT ‐‐
HE'S POSSESSED.
174
00:07:51,785 --> 00:07:55,789
POSSESSED BY LOVE.
175
00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:58,992
[ SIGHS ]
YOU'RE RIGHT.
176
00:07:58,992 --> 00:08:00,126
SAM.
177
00:08:00,126 --> 00:08:02,803
WE WANT TO SEE THAT WEBPAGE
RIGHT DAMN NOW!
178
00:08:02,803 --> 00:08:04,104
[ Normal voice ] OHH.
179
00:08:04,104 --> 00:08:05,238
[ Chuckling ] OOH.
180
00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:06,773
LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S
BEEN HANGING OUT
181
00:08:06,773 --> 00:08:11,512
WITH THEIR GRANDMOTHER
WAY TOO MUCH!
182
00:08:11,512 --> 00:08:13,179
LET ME SEE IT.
183
00:08:13,179 --> 00:08:15,916
WELL, HERE IT...DARN IS.
184
00:08:17,884 --> 00:08:19,385
MOVE IT.
185
00:08:19,385 --> 00:08:22,122
[ SOOTHING,
ETHEREAL MUSIC PLAYS ]
186
00:08:22,122 --> 00:08:23,223
OH.
187
00:08:23,223 --> 00:08:25,826
O‐OH.
[ CHUCKLES ]
188
00:08:25,826 --> 00:08:27,060
WOW.
189
00:08:27,060 --> 00:08:29,530
OH, MY.
190
00:08:29,530 --> 00:08:32,265
SAM, T‐THIS IS PERFECT.
191
00:08:32,265 --> 00:08:35,168
AND NOBODY'S TOPLESS.
192
00:08:35,168 --> 00:08:38,171
AND THERE ARE
NO STRIPPER POLES.
193
00:08:38,171 --> 00:08:39,272
[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]
194
00:08:39,272 --> 00:08:42,108
IS THAT A NUN?
195
00:08:42,108 --> 00:08:44,444
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
196
00:08:44,444 --> 00:08:48,381
FLOWERS, RAINBOWS, AND BIRDS!
OH, MY!
197
00:08:48,381 --> 00:08:50,250
DON'T FORGET THE UNICORN.
198
00:08:51,785 --> 00:08:54,154
HIS NAME IS SMILES.
199
00:08:56,256 --> 00:08:57,724
IT LOOKS...
200
00:08:57,724 --> 00:09:00,060
IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
201
00:09:00,060 --> 00:09:02,402
YEAH, SAM, IT'S...WOW.
202
00:09:02,402 --> 00:09:03,870
[ CHUCKLES ]
203
00:09:03,870 --> 00:09:05,105
WELL...
204
00:09:05,105 --> 00:09:07,273
CLICK HERE.
[ CLICKS MOUSE ]
205
00:09:07,273 --> 00:09:09,342
[ ANGELIC CHOIR HUMMING ]
206
00:09:09,342 --> 00:09:12,145
[ Chuckling ] OH, MY.
T‐THIS IS REALLY GREAT.
207
00:09:12,145 --> 00:09:13,947
[ GIGGLES ]
208
00:09:13,947 --> 00:09:15,448
YEAH, I KNOW.
209
00:09:15,448 --> 00:09:17,217
WOW.
210
00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:20,821
IT'S SO GREAT I'M EVEN TAKING
MY GRANDMOTHER THERE.
211
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:22,422
IS THIS
THE SAME GRANDMOTHER
212
00:09:22,422 --> 00:09:24,625
THAT YOU THREW
IN FRONT OF THE TRAIN?
213
00:09:24,625 --> 00:09:27,528
[ CHUCKLES ]
214
00:09:27,528 --> 00:09:29,362
YEAH.
[ CHUCKLES ]
215
00:09:29,362 --> 00:09:32,666
I CALLED HER THIS MORNING
TO APOLOGIZE.
216
00:09:32,666 --> 00:09:34,434
SHE UNDERSTOOD.
217
00:09:38,071 --> 00:09:40,707
I CAN'T WAIT TO SPEND
ALL WEEKEND WITH HER.
218
00:09:40,707 --> 00:09:42,743
OH.
[ GIGGLES ]
219
00:09:42,743 --> 00:09:45,512
NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
220
00:09:45,512 --> 00:09:48,582
I'M BAKING COOKIES
IN THE BREAK ROOM.
221
00:09:48,582 --> 00:09:50,617
[ GIGGLES ]
222
00:09:50,617 --> 00:09:52,352
OH. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
223
00:09:52,352 --> 00:09:56,857
OH, THEY'RE,
UH, WHITE‐CHOCOLATE‐CHIP.
224
00:09:58,659 --> 00:10:01,167
I see strange people.
225
00:10:02,636 --> 00:10:05,806
DANNY, I'M SCARED.
226
00:10:05,806 --> 00:10:08,642
ME, TOO.
227
00:10:08,642 --> 00:10:11,111
WHAT IS UP WITH HIM?
228
00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,780
I DON'T KNOW
BUT I'M GONNA FIND OUT.
229
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,281
Let's go.
230
00:10:15,281 --> 00:10:16,783
NOT NOW.
I‐I DON'T WANT NO COOKIES.
231
00:10:16,783 --> 00:10:19,920
CHOCOLATE
WITH A WHITE CHIP.
232
00:10:30,664 --> 00:10:33,299
FLOYD.
SATAN.
233
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,636
WHY YOU AIN'T NOT CLEANED
THAT GRILL?
234
00:10:35,636 --> 00:10:38,404
BECAUSE IT'S HOT!
235
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:40,607
I KNOW THAT.
236
00:10:40,607 --> 00:10:43,209
WELL, DO YOU EXPECT ME
TO GET THIRD‐DEGREE BURNS?
237
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,613
YOU GONNA GET
A THIRD‐DEGREE ASS WHOOPING
238
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:48,114
IF THAT HEALTH INSPECTOR
COME IN HERE
239
00:10:48,114 --> 00:10:49,415
AND THAT GRILL AIN'T CLEAN.
240
00:10:49,415 --> 00:10:53,787
I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU TRY THAT
WITH THAT OLD CRUSTY FOOT.
241
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:56,389
I HATE YOU.
242
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:59,059
I HATE YOU, TOO.
243
00:10:59,059 --> 00:11:01,067
YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?
244
00:11:01,067 --> 00:11:02,536
YEAH,
I'LL GET IT FOR YOU, BABY.
245
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:03,637
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
246
00:11:03,637 --> 00:11:05,238
YOU GO AHEAD
AND TAKE CARE OF BUSINESS.
247
00:11:05,238 --> 00:11:06,940
OH. [ CHUCKLES ]
THANK YOU, BOO.
248
00:11:06,940 --> 00:11:09,643
WHEN WILL THOSE TWO EVER STOP
EVER STOP GOING AT EACH OTHER?
249
00:11:09,643 --> 00:11:11,545
WILL WATER
EVER STOP BEING WET?
250
00:11:13,046 --> 00:11:15,081
THEY HAVE
ALWAYS BEEN LIKE THAT.
251
00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:16,617
HERE, BABY.
HERE'S YOUR CHECK.
252
00:11:16,617 --> 00:11:17,618
THANKS.
253
00:11:17,618 --> 00:11:19,786
NO.
I'LL PAY IT THIS TIME.
254
00:11:19,786 --> 00:11:22,488
WHAT?! WHY?
255
00:11:22,488 --> 00:11:23,624
RIGHT?
256
00:11:23,624 --> 00:11:25,759
YEAH, WELL,
YOU GUYS ARE ALWAYS COVERING ME,
257
00:11:25,759 --> 00:11:27,994
SO I'LL PAY IT.
258
00:11:27,994 --> 00:11:30,597
AND HERE IS A LITTLE TIP
FOR MISS LINDA.
259
00:11:32,432 --> 00:11:34,200
WHAT'S GOTTEN INTO YOU?
260
00:11:34,200 --> 00:11:36,436
NOTHING. I'M FINE.
261
00:11:36,436 --> 00:11:37,804
DON'T TRUST THAT.
262
00:11:37,804 --> 00:11:39,573
I DON'T.
263
00:11:39,573 --> 00:11:42,075
HE'S ACTING WEIRD
FOR SOME REASON.
264
00:11:42,075 --> 00:11:44,177
Aliens!
265
00:11:45,345 --> 00:11:47,881
BUT WE JUST
CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT.
266
00:11:49,683 --> 00:11:52,185
SAM, YOU LOOK NICE!
267
00:11:52,185 --> 00:11:53,754
LOOK AT THAT.
THAT'S SO NICE RIGHT THERE.
268
00:11:53,754 --> 00:11:55,255
[ GIGGLES ]
THANK YOU, MISS HATTIE.
269
00:11:55,255 --> 00:11:56,256
YOU LOOK LOVELY.
270
00:11:56,256 --> 00:11:58,124
[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]
271
00:11:58,124 --> 00:11:59,826
DID YOU DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT
WITH YOUR HAIR?
272
00:11:59,826 --> 00:12:02,202
YEAH, MISS PEARL GIVE ME
PRESS CURL EVERY TWO WEEK.
273
00:12:02,202 --> 00:12:05,606
[ LAUGHS ] WHAT?
274
00:12:05,606 --> 00:12:08,308
MISS PEARL GIVES ME
PRESS CURL EVERY TWO WEEK.
275
00:12:08,308 --> 00:12:12,746
[ LAUGHS ]
SHE IS CUTE AS A BUTTON!
276
00:12:12,746 --> 00:12:14,047
WHAT SHE SAID IS THAT
277
00:12:14,047 --> 00:12:17,283
MISS PEARL GIVES HER A PRESS
AND CURL EVERY TWO WEEKS.
278
00:12:17,283 --> 00:12:19,219
[ CHUCKLES ]
279
00:12:19,219 --> 00:12:22,723
THAT'S WHAT I SAID.
280
00:12:22,723 --> 00:12:24,725
MISS PEARL MISSED THE MARK
THIS WEEK.
281
00:12:24,725 --> 00:12:28,562
YOUR PRESS AND CURL
LOOK MORE LIKE A PUSH AND PULL.
282
00:12:28,562 --> 00:12:32,666
BUT I CAN TELL FROM LOOKING
AT THE WAY YOUR UNIFORM LAYING
283
00:12:32,666 --> 00:12:35,468
YOU MUST HAVE SHAVED YOUR BACK
THIS WEEK.
284
00:12:35,468 --> 00:12:37,303
BE CAREFUL, FLOYD.
285
00:12:37,303 --> 00:12:40,741
I STILL GOT MY RAZOR.
286
00:12:40,741 --> 00:12:42,809
AND, UH, FLOYD.
287
00:12:42,809 --> 00:12:44,410
HERE IS THE RENT CHECK.
288
00:12:44,410 --> 00:12:46,680
WHAT?
289
00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:49,482
I MEAN, IT'S NOT DUE
TILL NEXT THURSDAY.
290
00:12:49,482 --> 00:12:53,520
HA. YEAH. I KNOW.
291
00:12:53,520 --> 00:12:55,589
WAIT ‐‐ I DIDN'T EVEN GET YOU
MY HALF.
292
00:12:55,589 --> 00:12:57,924
OH, JUST GET IT BACK TO ME
WHENEVER YOU CAN.
293
00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:03,403
WOW!
294
00:13:03,403 --> 00:13:04,838
HEAVEN HAS LANDED.
295
00:13:04,838 --> 00:13:06,907
[ SIGHS ]
296
00:13:06,907 --> 00:13:08,909
HMM?
I'M SORRY.
297
00:13:08,909 --> 00:13:10,443
YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT?
298
00:13:10,443 --> 00:13:12,345
I WASN'T PAYING
[Chuckling] ATTENTION.
299
00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:13,446
WHAT THE WHAT?
300
00:13:15,415 --> 00:13:17,183
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,
I HAVE TO, UH ‐‐
301
00:13:17,183 --> 00:13:18,585
BE RIGHT BACK.
[ CHUCKLES ]
302
00:13:18,585 --> 00:13:20,854
I'VE GOT TO, UH, TINKLE.
303
00:13:20,854 --> 00:13:22,989
TINKLE WINKLE.
304
00:13:26,627 --> 00:13:28,461
WHAT IS GOING ON
WITH HIM?
305
00:13:28,461 --> 00:13:31,632
I DON'T KNOW.
HE'S...NICE.
306
00:13:31,632 --> 00:13:33,967
WELL, HOW LONG
THIS BEEN GOING ON?
307
00:13:33,967 --> 00:13:35,468
ALL WEEK.
308
00:13:35,468 --> 00:13:37,604
OH, HE ON THAT STUFF.
309
00:13:37,604 --> 00:13:40,807
NO, HE'S NOT.
IS HE?
310
00:13:42,576 --> 00:13:44,645
HE GAVE ME A FLOWER.
311
00:13:44,645 --> 00:13:46,780
IT WAS SO SWEET.
312
00:13:49,583 --> 00:13:52,953
HE GAVE ME ONE, TOO!
313
00:13:52,953 --> 00:13:55,989
AND IT WASN'T POISON IVY.
314
00:13:55,989 --> 00:13:59,560
AND YOU SAY THIS HAS BEEN
GOING ON FOR A WHILE?
315
00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:01,902
YES.
316
00:14:01,902 --> 00:14:03,870
OH, HE DYING.
317
00:14:03,870 --> 00:14:05,972
HEY.
DON'T SAY THAT!
318
00:14:05,972 --> 00:14:09,309
[ Mockingly ] WELL,
DON'T GET SO UPSET, NEPHEW.
319
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:12,078
I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT'S GOING ON WITH HIM.
320
00:14:12,078 --> 00:14:13,614
FLOYD'S RIGHT.
321
00:14:13,614 --> 00:14:15,616
GRANDMA,
THAT'S MY BEST FRIEND.
322
00:14:15,616 --> 00:14:16,750
THEY DIDN'T MEAN IT,
BABY.
323
00:14:16,750 --> 00:14:18,519
THEN WHY DID THEY
SAY THAT?
324
00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:20,854
DEATH SCARES PEOPLE.
325
00:14:20,854 --> 00:14:23,223
DO YOU GUYS REALLY THINK
HE'S DYING?
326
00:14:24,991 --> 00:14:26,259
NO.
327
00:14:26,259 --> 00:14:28,662
IT'S THAT "FUNE."
328
00:14:28,662 --> 00:14:30,130
IT'S THAT WHAT?
329
00:14:30,130 --> 00:14:32,533
IT'S THAT "FUNE."
330
00:14:34,334 --> 00:14:36,102
FUNERAL.
331
00:14:36,102 --> 00:14:38,138
OH.
332
00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,273
THAT WHAT I SAID.
333
00:14:42,475 --> 00:14:45,612
YOU SEE, THIS HERE HAPPENED
TO ONE OF MY HUSBANDS.
334
00:14:45,612 --> 00:14:47,047
W‐W‐WHEN SOMEBODY DIE,
335
00:14:47,047 --> 00:14:49,616
AND THEY REMIND YOU
OF YOURSELF,
336
00:14:49,616 --> 00:14:51,652
IT MAKES YOU LOOK AT LIFE
DIFFERENTLY.
337
00:14:54,688 --> 00:14:57,624
COUSIN BERON
WASN'T NOTHING LIKE THAT.
338
00:14:57,624 --> 00:15:00,226
THE HELL YOU PREACH.
339
00:15:00,226 --> 00:15:02,202
WELL, HOW?
340
00:15:02,202 --> 00:15:04,037
THEY DRANK EVERY NIGHT.
341
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,205
THAT'S RIGHT.
342
00:15:05,205 --> 00:15:07,373
THEY DRANK THEMSELVES
NOW ABOUT TO DEATH.
343
00:15:07,373 --> 00:15:08,609
MM.
YEP.
344
00:15:08,609 --> 00:15:10,677
HAD SEX...
345
00:15:10,677 --> 00:15:13,814
HAD A WHOLE LOT
OF HOT BUTT‐NAKED SEX.
346
00:15:13,814 --> 00:15:15,982
MM.
[ Chuckling ] YEAH.
347
00:15:15,982 --> 00:15:17,518
OH, GOD DAMN.
WHOLE LOT OF...
348
00:15:17,518 --> 00:15:20,921
MAMA! UNCLE FLOYD!
WHOO! HMM?
349
00:15:22,488 --> 00:15:23,557
DREW?
350
00:15:23,557 --> 00:15:25,859
I'M SORRY.
351
00:15:25,859 --> 00:15:27,661
AND THEY ‐‐ AND THEY WANT
TO HAVE CHILDREN ‐‐
352
00:15:27,661 --> 00:15:29,295
ON, ON, ON, BACK‐TO‐BACK‐TO‐BACK
CHILDREN ON TOP OF CHILDREN,
353
00:15:29,295 --> 00:15:30,564
AND ‐‐ AND...
354
00:15:30,564 --> 00:15:35,001
AND THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT NOBODY
BUT THEIR OWN SELF.
355
00:15:35,001 --> 00:15:40,273
THEN YOU WANT TO MARRY THE FIRST
THING THAT SAY, "I LOVE YOU."
356
00:15:40,273 --> 00:15:41,742
MAMA.
357
00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,678
THEY DON'T WORRY ABOUT
SAYING NOTHING ABOUT
358
00:15:44,678 --> 00:15:47,280
YOU GOT ANOTHER WIFE
IN BACK OF TOWN.
359
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,615
MAMA. C‐C‐COME. MAMA!
360
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,084
AND THEN I WANT TO TELL YOU
ABOUT THAT TIME WHEN ‐‐
361
00:15:51,084 --> 00:15:52,919
COME BACK!
COME BACK! COME BACK!
362
00:15:52,919 --> 00:15:54,955
[ SNAPS FINGERS ]
363
00:15:57,190 --> 00:16:01,702
I WAS TALKING ABOUT MY OWN SELF,
ANYWAY.
364
00:16:01,702 --> 00:16:05,038
DANG, MISS HATTIE.
YOU'RE A LITTLE FREAK.
365
00:16:07,808 --> 00:16:12,078
DID YOU REALLY DO
ALL OF THOSE NASTY THINGS?
366
00:16:12,078 --> 00:16:15,549
DON'T YOU JUDGE ME!
367
00:16:15,549 --> 00:16:18,118
MAYBE GRANDMA
HAS GOT A POINT.
368
00:16:18,118 --> 00:16:19,953
I DO HAVE A POINT!
369
00:16:19,953 --> 00:16:23,089
IT AIN'T NOTHING BUT HE THINKING
ABOUT HIS MORTALITY.
370
00:16:24,925 --> 00:16:28,161
YOU KNOW,
IT DON'T HAPPEN THAT OFTEN.
371
00:16:28,161 --> 00:16:29,896
BUT IT DID HIM.
372
00:16:32,766 --> 00:16:34,935
MAYBE I SHOULD ENJOY THIS.
373
00:16:37,270 --> 00:16:39,906
YEAH, YOU NEED TO,
'CAUSE IT WON'T LAST LONG.
374
00:16:48,649 --> 00:16:51,251
[ VOCALIZING ]
375
00:16:51,251 --> 00:16:53,086
WHO DUSTS LEATHER?
376
00:16:53,086 --> 00:16:55,522
HA‐HA. I DO.
[ SIGHS ]
377
00:16:58,024 --> 00:17:00,360
WOW.
378
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:03,103
THIS PLACE LOOKS GREAT.
379
00:17:05,471 --> 00:17:06,907
DANNY!
380
00:17:09,075 --> 00:17:10,611
YEAH, SAM?
381
00:17:10,611 --> 00:17:12,646
[ CHUCKLES ]
OH, HEY, MAN!
382
00:17:12,646 --> 00:17:14,147
I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!
383
00:17:14,147 --> 00:17:15,682
WHOA.
[ GIGGLES ]
384
00:17:15,682 --> 00:17:17,450
YOU JUST SAW ME AT WORK!
385
00:17:17,450 --> 00:17:19,686
OH! I KNOW!
[ CHUCKLES ]
386
00:17:19,686 --> 00:17:22,789
BUT I MISSED YOU!
[ CHUCKLES ]
387
00:17:22,789 --> 00:17:24,090
[ SIGHS ] OH.
388
00:17:24,090 --> 00:17:29,229
HEY, MAN, BEFORE I FORGET,
CAN WE CARPOOL TOMORROW?
389
00:17:29,229 --> 00:17:30,731
CARPOOL?
390
00:17:30,731 --> 00:17:32,032
YEAH!
391
00:17:32,032 --> 00:17:33,499
REALLY?
392
00:17:33,499 --> 00:17:36,803
YEAH.
WHY DO YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED?
393
00:17:36,803 --> 00:17:39,105
WHEN I ASKED YOU ABOUT IT
BEFORE, YOU SAID,
394
00:17:39,105 --> 00:17:41,207
"TO HELL
WITH THE OZONE LAYER!
395
00:17:41,207 --> 00:17:43,176
"LET'S ALLOW THOSE TREE HUGGERS
396
00:17:43,176 --> 00:17:45,546
TO FILL UP THAT HOLE
ON THEIR OWN!"
397
00:17:45,546 --> 00:17:48,348
BUT I LEARNED MY LESSON!
398
00:17:48,348 --> 00:17:50,283
OKAY.
[ CHUCKLES ]
399
00:17:50,283 --> 00:17:52,485
THE APARTMENT LOOKS GREAT.
400
00:17:52,485 --> 00:17:54,187
[ CHUCKLES ]
BLESS YOUR FACE.
401
00:17:55,922 --> 00:17:57,724
AND I BAKED COOKIES!
402
00:17:57,724 --> 00:17:59,192
WHOO!
403
00:18:00,701 --> 00:18:02,503
[ SIGHS ]
404
00:18:02,503 --> 00:18:06,072
OKAY.
405
00:18:06,072 --> 00:18:08,842
YEAH. UH, UH,
YOU WANT TO WATCH A MOVIE?
406
00:18:12,378 --> 00:18:14,615
OKAY, SAM.
W‐WE NEED TO TALK.
407
00:18:14,615 --> 00:18:16,382
[ PATS CUSHION ]
I'M ALWAYS HERE FOR YOU, BUDDY.
408
00:18:16,382 --> 00:18:19,920
YOU ARE JUST KILLING ME.
409
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,523
WELL, WHAT IS IT?
WHAT ‐‐ WHAT'S KILLING YOU?
410
00:18:22,523 --> 00:18:25,559
WHY ARE YOU BEING
SO NICE?!
411
00:18:25,559 --> 00:18:30,430
[ High‐pitched ] WHAT ON EARTH
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
412
00:18:30,430 --> 00:18:35,435
STOP IT!
THAT'S ANNOYING!
413
00:18:35,435 --> 00:18:37,604
OH.
414
00:18:37,604 --> 00:18:40,507
[ Singsong voice ] I'M SENSING
AN EMOTIONAL CENTER.
415
00:18:42,743 --> 00:18:45,979
IF WE DON'T ADDRESS THE ISSUE,
IT COULD KABOOM.
416
00:18:45,979 --> 00:18:47,581
[ Normal voice ]
SO WHAT IS IT
417
00:18:47,581 --> 00:18:49,249
THAT YOU THINK
IS ANNOYING YOU?
418
00:18:49,249 --> 00:18:53,754
SAM, WHEN WE WERE AT MY UNCLE'S
FUNERAL, DID IT AFFECT YOU?
419
00:18:53,754 --> 00:18:56,222
YES.
420
00:18:56,222 --> 00:18:59,059
AT THE FUNERAL,
I REALIZED THAT...
421
00:18:59,059 --> 00:19:01,027
WHEN I DIE,
422
00:19:01,027 --> 00:19:04,505
I DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO
HAVE TO MAKE STUFF UP ABOUT ME.
423
00:19:05,839 --> 00:19:08,008
I WANT THEM
TO TELL THE TRUTH.
424
00:19:08,008 --> 00:19:10,677
SAM, THAT'S GREAT.
425
00:19:10,677 --> 00:19:12,579
YEAH.
426
00:19:12,579 --> 00:19:15,882
I'M TURNING OVER A NEW LEAF!
HA‐HA! COOKIE?
427
00:19:18,351 --> 00:19:20,854
NO, IT WAS MORE LIKE
A FEATHERED BOA.
428
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:30,764
NOW, SAM, I THINK WE NEED TO
TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU'RE FEELING.
429
00:19:30,764 --> 00:19:32,165
[ LAUGHS ]
430
00:19:32,165 --> 00:19:35,068
I LOVE TALKING ABOUT
MY FEELINGS!
431
00:19:35,068 --> 00:19:38,404
I WANT THE OLD SAM BACK!
432
00:19:38,404 --> 00:19:40,774
DANNY. COME ON.
433
00:19:40,774 --> 00:19:42,375
Danny: NO!
434
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:45,078
THIS IS TOO...
435
00:19:45,078 --> 00:19:46,947
TOO...
436
00:19:46,947 --> 00:19:50,116
TOO PRECIOUS AND SWEET
AND ADORABLE?
437
00:19:50,116 --> 00:19:53,520
YES, BUT I WANT
THE WILD MAN!
438
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,322
I THOUGHT YOU DIDN'T LIKE
THAT SAM?
439
00:19:56,322 --> 00:19:58,291
NO. I‐I DO!
440
00:19:58,291 --> 00:19:59,425
YOU DO?
441
00:19:59,425 --> 00:20:00,561
YES!
442
00:20:00,561 --> 00:20:04,137
I JUST ‐‐ [SIGHS]
I WANT YOU TO BE YOU.
443
00:20:04,137 --> 00:20:07,207
I KNOW YOU LIKE TO PARTY
AND HANG OUT.
444
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,710
BUT I JUST WANT YOU TO BE
A LITTLE MORE CONSIDERATE
445
00:20:09,710 --> 00:20:10,711
AND NOT SO SELFISH.
446
00:20:10,711 --> 00:20:12,779
I JUST WANT YOU
TO BE AWARE OF
447
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:15,415
WHAT YOU'RE DOING
AND SAYING.
448
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,818
WELL, I GET THAT.
449
00:20:17,818 --> 00:20:21,755
SO...CAN THE OLD SAM
COME BACK?
450
00:20:21,755 --> 00:20:23,023
YEAH.
451
00:20:23,023 --> 00:20:26,627
TO HELL WITH THIS CRAP!
452
00:20:26,627 --> 00:20:28,128
WAIT?
453
00:20:28,128 --> 00:20:30,797
SO THAT...
[ GRUNTS ]
454
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:32,232
SO ALL THIS
WAS JUST AN ACT?
455
00:20:32,232 --> 00:20:35,636
ACADEMY AWARD, BABY!
456
00:20:35,636 --> 00:20:39,005
SAM IS BACK.
457
00:20:39,005 --> 00:20:40,907
AAH!
458
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:44,410
COME ON IN,
TISHA AND MISHA.
459
00:20:44,410 --> 00:20:47,981
IN A FEW SECONDS...
460
00:20:47,981 --> 00:20:50,083
I'M GONNA KISS YA.
461
00:20:50,083 --> 00:20:53,153
LADIES.
462
00:20:53,153 --> 00:20:57,123
ACT LIKE BAIT
AND FOLLOW THE ROD.
463
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:58,992
[ LAUGHS ]
464
00:20:58,992 --> 00:21:01,467
GUESS I GOT THE OLD SAM BACK.
30889
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.